Chapter Text
The bar he chose to visit today wasn't anything special - the Port Mafia held control over dozens of establishments like this one, but this particular bar just happened to be on the way to his destination, so Dazai decided he might as well come for a drink or two.
His last, if he was lucky enough.
When he entered, the place was packed with customers - the sun was setting, so it wasn't surprising that more eager people were already gorging themselves on alcohol, but the lack of free space made Dazai click his tongue. Annoying. If he was annoyed enough he'd contemplate shooting someone to make room for himself, but today he was feeling more apathetic than anything. That's what had brought him to these parts in the first place. The feeling of emptiness, choking him just enough for it to be painful, but not suffocating. He hated it, the taste of that hatred bitter on his tongue.
That's why he needed a drink.
He approached a booth in the corner - it was occupied with rough looking men who were vocal enough that the entire rest of the bar was sending dirty looks their way. At first they didn't pay Dazai any mind when he walked up to their table, but then one man began to wave him away, telling him to beat it. When he didn't move, the man snarled, looking up from his drink long enough to throw a glare at the intruder.
When his eyes met Dazai's, all the words instantly died on his tongue.
Quickly, he tugged the man sitting next to him on the sleeve, and soon the whole group scrambled away from the table and the bar altogether, throwing a bit too much money for their order in their haste to get away.
Guess there won't be a need to shoot anybody today. Dazai thought, lazily flopping into the booth. Whether they recognized him as a mafia executive or were intimidated by his sheer presence didn't matter much to him. At least it's a bit more quiet now.
When the waiter came up to his table, quickly cleaning up the mess the previous customers made, the brunet didn't bother to look away from the ceiling.
"May I take your order?" The waiter asked in a hurried voice once he finished swiping the table.
"Could you bring me a rope?"
"... excuse me?" Dazai heard a baffled response. He lifted his hand, pointing a finger at the ceiling.
"That support beam looks lovely." He said, gesturing at the piece of wood he's been staring at. "I'd like to hang myself off of it."
"I-I am afraid I can't let you do that."
The mafioso sighed, tearing his eyes away from the beam. "Fine, fine. I guess I'll have to drown myself after all." He said casually, as if he was talking about something trivial and not about ending his life, and sent the waiter a smile. "Whisky then."
The waiter stared at him with a dumbfounded gaze, and Dazai took that moment to assess him - a skinny young man with silver hair and oddly colored eyes. His body was thin, way too thin even for his slim complexion - poor, Dazai concluded, and from the clumsy way he held the tray in his hands and hint of nervousness in his voice it seemed like he had just recently begun working at this place.
Won't last a month. The mafioso thought. With the kind of crowd hanging in a place like this, the boy will break like a measly twig under a heavy boot.
"Whisky, coming right up…" The waiter mumbled after a moment of staring, face still conflicted even as he left to fetch Dazai's order.
The whisky was… acceptable. Good enough to wash down the last of his meaningless thoughts, but bitter enough not to remind him of the better times.
No matter. Nothing will matter after he throws himself into the water.
When the glass was empty, there was nothing left for Dazai. Not bothering with the tab, he slapped a bill on the table, pulled the coat back over his shoulders and walked outside.
The only good thing about this bar was that it was right next to the river.
Dazai walked along the riverbank for a while longer, watching the way rich orange and soft lavender of the sky reflected in Yokohama waters.
A beautiful evening to die on.
He lingered on the bridge, watching the sun slowly set, and let go.
The water was cold as it pulled him into the welcoming darkness.
He was alive.
Grumbling in disappointment, Dazai opened his eyes and slowly sat up. Judging by the amount of water still clinging to him, he was pulled out of the river very recently. Great - now he was alive and uncomfortably wet.
Someone was heavily panting next to him - no doubt the person who dragged him out of the water. Dazai turned his head, enough to see who interrupted him-
The waiter. That silver-haired boy from the bar.
The boy let out another heavy breath and finally lifted his head, staring right back at Dazai, eyes that looked like the sunset he was watching before his plunge still foggy with exhaustion.
"I can't believe you actually went to drown yourself…" The waiter said, his voice raspy. He sat back, looking down as he patted his uniform. "Oh, boss is going to kill me…"
"Why did you pull me out."
His eyes flew back up to meet Dazai's venomous gaze.
"W- what- why did you jump into the river?!" The boy yelled in an accusing voice, furrowing his brows at the brunet.
"You said so yourself - I wanted to drown." He huffed, an answer so obvious he couldn't help but grow more irritated. "I even left you a tip, and this is how you thank me?'
"I- you- a-" The waiter seemed lost, looking at Dazai like he was a mad man.
"I can't believe I wasted such a beautiful day on this." The mafioso sighed, standing up and letting the water drip down his coat. "Now I have to go back to work… Not just any - the most boring part! Paperwork!" He dramatically shook his hands in the air before turning his head to glare at the waiter. "I hope you're happy."
"I… I- I can't believe I'm going to get fired because of a guy who wanted to drown himself over paperwork." The waiter's forehead hit his knees as he slumped in despair.
"Yeah, you really should've brought me that rope." Dazai said with a shrug. The boy's head snapped at him, eyes wide. The brunet didn't bother to turn, lazily waving his hand as he started walking away. "I'm off."
The waiter didn't call out to him or stop him, but, as Dazai was walking away, he could feel the eyes on his back.
Another day. Another thwarted attempt. However…
That boy surprised me. Dazai hummed to himself. It was always hard to surprise him with how good his observation and calculation skills were and it was especially hard these drab days when he barely held interest in anything, but…
Today turned out to be more interesting than he thought, and Dazai decided to take it.
"Hey, so you didn't get fired! Great!"
By the way the silver-haired waiter flinched when he saw Dazai sitting in the booth, he obviously didn't expect to see him in this bar again. Mix of confusion and disbelief slapped across his face made the mafioso's amusement grow.
"Please tell me you aren't going to jump into the river again…" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes as if the brunet would disappear if he didn't look at him. Alas, when he lowered the hand from his face, Dazai was still there, shooting the boy a playful smile.
"Nope, not today." He said cheerily. "A day like this is much more suited for poisoning, don't you think?"
The waiter shot him an unimpressed look. "I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve poison in this establishment."
"Oh, I am aware." Dazai chuckled. "Actually I'm here for you." The boy's eyebrows instantly flew up in surprise. "I thought I owed you a bigger tip." The brunet said nonchalantly as he gestured at him. "Since it's technically my fault you had to replace your uniform and all."
The waiter looked down at himself and back at Dazai before responding, voice a bit hesitant. "That's… very considerate of you, sir."
"I knooow!" The mafioso clasped his hands, his smile beaming. "Now, fetch me some whisky."
The boy nodded and turned away, throwing a quick glance at Dazai over his shoulder before walking away to get his order.
Dazai hummed when he got his drink, watching the boy quickly scatter to attend to new customers. Sipping his whisky, the brunet observed him - despite the clumsy way he fumbled with his hands, there was natural grace and swiftness in his movements as he made his way from one table to another, maneuvering between people in a surprisingly smooth way. Despite the commotion and abundance of loud noises echoing in the bar mixed with scratchy music from the jukebox, it seemed that this waiter always heard when someone called him even from the furthest of corners.
He smiled at every customer, and always apologized to those who were mad at him because of some misstep he did or simply because they were drunk, angry and miserable and wanted to take it out on him.
Observing him, Dazai started to understand what made this young man walk out of the bar after someone joked they'll drown themselves at the off chance they would actually do it.
Too kind for his own good. The mafioso sighed, putting his glass down. If there was a reason the boy won't be working here for long, it was because someone very rotten will inevitably take advantage of him.
Dazai was used to watching that happen - it was quite common in his line of work. Taking advantage of people was half the mafia's way of working, and Dazai himself had done it countless times. For work, for personal reasons, for entertainment when he grew too bored with life…
It was unavoidable, Dazai supposed. It was in people's nature to trample and use others for their own benefit. And yet…
Fools like this little waiter still existed.
Dazai chuckled at that thought and pulled out his wallet.
Dazai was incredibly annoyed that night. Going on a mission with Chuuya or even just being in redhead’s presence always annoyed him, but their trip took so long that by the time he could finally wave that hat rack goodbye the moon was high in the sky.
He decided to walk back to his apartment - he couldn't stomach a car ride with his slug of a partner tonight, and despite how late the hour was and how dark the streets remained even in the moonlight, Dazai was pretty sure he was the most dangerous thing that could straddle into a dark alley, and so he casually strolled alongside the river. He briefly contemplated drowning himself, but he didn't want his last day to be so full of Chuuya, so he decided on another kind of drink tonight.
Except he wouldn't get it.
Before coming up to the familiar bar he noted the commotion, heard people yelling in the distance and saw some running away in panic right past him. The mafioso paid it little mind. Whatever was scaring ordinary people most likely was of no danger to him, and he just wanted a drink. And so he kept walking, hoping that whatever was going on wouldn't cause the bar to be closed.
It wasn't closed. However, it also turned out to be the source of the issue.
Dazai lingered before the open doors, eyebrows lifted as he looked at the scene before him. The bar was a mess - furniture scattered around, half the bottles that were adorning the wall for display broken, all kinds of alcohol - from expensive to dirt cheap - mixing on the floor, but most unusual were claw marks adorning the walls and running across wooden surfaces.
"What do we have here…" Dazai murmured, staring at the undeniable culprit who was currently biting one of the bar stools in half. Small ears twitched at the sound of his voice, bright golden eyes shining as the beast turned to look at the intruder, purple irises dilating at the sight of his new target.
A white tiger.
Dazai heard about it before - all the upper levels of the Port Mafia have recently been searching for this beast since someone put a seven billion yen price tag on him. The brunet himself held little interest in that mission - he didn’t care for money, and as much as he liked cats hunting one did not sound appealing.
Until it fell right into his hands. In the middle of a second rate bar on the outskirts of Yokohama.
Dazai smirked - bringing the tiger in would surely be enough to earn him a good break from more irritating parts of his mafia position. The errand missions were growing more boring, paperwork was starting to pile up again, Akutagawa was being a nuisance…
As he stood idle, the tiger growled before jumping straight at him.
"Death by a magnificent beast… beautiful." Dazai said to himself, a wistful smile blooming on his face. "Alas…" He lifted his arm, hand landing right on the animal's nose, enveloping the surroundings in blue light. "It's not for me."
When the blinding light subsided, ability dispelled by Dazai's counter, instead of a huge tiger, the slim body of a young man slumped against the mafioso. Dazai was about to shake him off but faltered, eyes widening when they landed on the familiar silver hair.
The waiter who pulled him out of the water. He was the tiger.
"N-nakajima!" Dazai's head snapped to the bar where somebody poked their head out - judging by the uniform, a local worker who probably chose to hide instead of running when the tiger started to rampage. "He's a monster?!"
"It seems so." The brunet hummed, looking back down at the waiter. He paid little attention to the briefing about the tiger, but the boy probably didn't know he was Gifted. Surprised me yet again… Dazai thought, feeling unusually giddy. What an amusing creature you are.
He turned his head back to the terrified man, voice nonchalant. "Did anybody see him transform?"
"N-no, he was in the break room before that t-tiger leaped out, and-"
"Good." Dazai smiled, hand reaching inside of his coat. Before the man could finish speaking, the brunet pulled out a gun, promptly shooting him right in the head. "And now, nobody saw."
Change of plans. Dazai patted the waiter - Nakajima - on the back as he put his gun away. If he turned him in to the mafia right away he'd surely get a lot of privileges, but for now the boy interested him.
Dazai bit his lip in excitement. This is going to be entertaining.
When Atsushi opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was.
He instantly bolted into a sitting position, frantically looking around. His last memories were of him at work, the bar full of loud chatter and music as usual, but even in that cacophony of sounds he heard it.
The tiger's roar.
It came after me. Again. Atsushi could feel his chest swell with panic, but, looking around, he couldn't see any sign of the beast anywhere. That made him exhale in relief, before he was hit with a creeping realization that he didn't know where he was. It definitely wasn't the bar - someone had put him on a couch in what looked like a sparse living room of an apartment. He caught the glimpse of the window - looking out, it must've been a pretty high floor. A tall building somewhere near the port, considering he could see the ocean. Which put him very far from where he was before.
"Ah, you're awake." A vaguely familiar voice called from the doorway. Atsushi turned his head, meeting the chocolate eyes (well, just one eye - the other one was obscured by bandages) of a man he only interacted with a couple of times but remembered well. It would be hard to forget someone like this - tall, dark hair, expensive-looking suit, but most peculiarly a lot of bandages, peeking out of his clothes and hiding half his face. Also Atsushi had to drag him out of the river once. That was certainly hard to forget.
"Where… where am I?" He asked, quickly standing up.
"My place." The man said casually, strolling into the room. He carelessly pushed a stack of books off the chair before dragging it on the other side of a small coffee table, taking a seat right across from Atsushi. "Forgive me for the mess, I don't usually have guests over."
"You…" The waiter frowned in confusion. The way this man behaved did nothing to help with the fog that was still clouding his brain.
"What's the last thing that you remember?" The brunet tossed one of his legs over the other, laying back against the chair and giving him a small encouraging smile.
"I…" A vision of piercing yellow eyes flashed in his memory. "The tiger. It found me."
"Found you?" The man raised his eyebrows.
"You won't believe me, but I am being hunted by a tiger- a beast, and I thought I escaped it, but it found me again-" Atsushi felt his hands shake as he tried to hide his face in them. Again, again, it came after him, it wanted him dead-
"That's it?" The smirk in brunet's voice, as well as a breath of a laughter distracted Atsushi enough to lift his head back up, wide eyes looking at the man's amused face in confusion. Does he not believe me? Is he going to mock me now?
"I'm sorry, sir, but… who are you?" He frowned, suddenly acutely aware that he was in an unfamiliar place with a stranger who apparently dragged him to his home while he was passed out.
"Ah yes, I suppose the introductions are in order - Dazai Osamu." The man smiled warmly. The smile made his already handsome face look even more charming, although, weirdly enough, Atsushi couldn't help the feeling that it felt off somehow.
"Nakajima Atsushi." He responded, still eyeing Dazai in suspicion.
"Atsushi!" Dazai clasped his hands. "At last, I know the name of my savior."
I don't remember you being grateful when I helped you, and now you're calling me your savior? Atsushi felt his eyebrow twitch. The manager was very mad about him not only running out of the bar before his shift was over, but also completely drenching his uniform in the river waters. He thought he'd lose his job for sure, but he managed to plead the boss into giving him a chance. Working double shifts was rough, but it beat having no job at all and being back on the streets.
To be fair, Dazai paid him back, somewhat. It was the biggest tip he has ever received, his jaw almost dropping to the floor when he saw it, but he would still prefer not taking a dive in the first place.
"Do you know about Gifted people?" Dazai asked out of the blue, making Atsushi blink at him in confusion.
"Yes. People with special powers." He remembered reading about them back in the orphanage. "Why are you asking about it? What- what happened?"
"I was on the way to the bar after a looong day of hard work." The brunet started speaking dramatically. "And just imagine my surprise when I come up to the doors and see a white tiger inside!" One of his bandaged hands landed on his forehead. "But the bigger surprise was that that tiger…" He opened his eye, sending Atsushi a playful look as his lips suddenly twisted in a smile. "Was you."
"... Me?!"
"You are Gifted, Atsushi." Dazai motioned to the window behind him. "During the full moon, you transform into a tiger."
"No…" Cold sense of dread ran through his entire body. "It can't be…"
"You came to this city not long ago, correct?" His mouth was open but he couldn't get any words out, so he just nodded. "About four weeks?" Nod. "From Tsurumi?" Nod. He didn't know where this was leading, so he could only confirm.
"Thaaat's where the tiger was last sighted." Dazai have him a nod of his own, before his body shifted, elbows on his knees as he leaned closer. "Do you have a family?"
"N-no…" Atsushi could feel his body tremble. "I was raised in the orphanage… and kicked out… because the tiger…"
"They didn't tell you that you were a tiger." The brunet thoughtfully hummed, rubbing his chin.
"I… how can I be…" His voice sounded so small, but he yearned to shout. To yell at Dazai that he was wrong, that he couldn't be Gifted, he couldn't be the tiger- If he was, that means it was he who pillaged the orphanage's food supplies, it meant that all that abuse he endured…
…was because he was a monster.
"You see, I'm Gifted too." Dazai straightened back up, putting a hand on his chest. "My special ability is to nullify any other abilities." He gave Atsushi a smile. "That's why you're a human right now! I touched you back in the bar, and you transformed back. Then I brought you here to make sure you won't turn into a tiger again."
Atsushi could only stare at him, still finding all of this hard to believe.
"I… I…" He swallowed. "Did I destroy the bar?"
"I wouldn't say destroy, but you sure did a number on it." Dazai said like it was the most casual thing in the world, while Atsushi hid his face in his palms again, growling in frustration. "If I were you, I wouldn't show my face back there again."
"And what do I do now…" He whined into his hands. What a monster like me can even do?
"Don't know." The man shrugged.
"Every full moon…" Atsushi mumbled, eyes sliding to the window, where he could still see the round shape of a pale moon in the sky, haunting him. "I will transform every full moon…" How will he live?! He didn't know he had a special ability his whole life - he had no idea how to reign it in. Gifted? This sounds more like a curse.
"Unless I'm there."
Atsushi's eyes snapped open. Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Dazai, who was still leisuring in his chair, fingers tapping on his knee.
"If I'm there to touch you every full moon, you won't transform." He elaborated.
Atsushi's mind was going a mile a minute. Could he really ask this man for help? He just met him - technically, he saw him before, including dragging his half-dead body out of the river, but-
If he wanted even a semblance of normal life…
"Please!" He dropped on his knees, forehead touching the floor as he begged. "Please help me!"
He didn't see the way man's smile twisted.
"My help, huh… Do you know who I am, Atsushi?" Dazai asked, watching the boy lift his head before shaking it. "Ever heard of the Port Mafia?"
Atsushi stiffened. He heard.
"I'm one of the top executives there."
He watched with almost a manic glee as the waiter's pupils shrunk, his back hitting the couch when he reflectively jerked away from Dazai.
"And lately, all the mafia has been buzzing about is a seven billion yen reward for catching a certain man-eating tiger." Oh, he enjoyed that look of fear. Toying with this boy was fun… but Dazai didn't want to break him too soon, so he dropped his sinister voice, putting a joyous mask back on. "But that is of no interest to me, so I'll help you!"
Atsushi could only gape at him.
"Close your mouth, Atsushi, I already saw plenty of your fangs today." The brunet playfully scolded him. "Do you regret interrupting my suicide attempt yet?"
"No." Atsushi breathed out instantly, Dazai's cheery front faltering for a brief moment, a shadow of surprise passing in his eye before it was gone, his smile widening even more.
"Well, will you consider working for me then?" The mafioso cocked his head to the side, eye gleaming mischievously. The expression on his face looked so innocent, but Atsushi could feel the sinister air around him.
"M-me? Working in the m-mafia?!" Even the thought of it made the boy feel like somebody threw a bucket of cold water over his head. It haven't happened in a while, not since he was kicked out of the orphanage-
Though, the water in that river felt ice cold against his skin when he dived after this man.
Dazai hummed. "Yes. Under me, of course - you'll be my secretary!" He clapped his hands together, as if he was proud of his idea. "You handle my paperwork, and I keep an eye on you and prevent you from going all tiger! Doesn't that sound nice?"
Not a single word from the brunet's mouth had sounded good to Atsushi so far. "But I don't know anything about handling paperwork, especially something illegal-"
"Why do you say that?" Dazai blinked at him. "You can't read?"
"What? No, I can-"
"Write?"
"I know how to write!"
"Then I see no problems!" The brunet sing-sang again, reaching out to pat Atsushi on his shoulder. "You will do fiiine! Believe me, if I can handle that stuff, anybody can! Besides-" He lifted his index finger up. "It's not even illegal! Our methods might not be legal, but all the papers are!" He gave him a dazzling smile.
"I don't think that's how it works…" Atsushi's brow twitched, skepticism painted all over his face.
"Really, don't worry about it." Dazai waved his hand dismissively. "What do you say? Offer includes a place to stay and a sa-la-ry!" He sang, trying to make the offer sound more charming.
Still, Atsushi felt conflicted. Very conflicted.
"I… Dazai, I… I don't know." He sighed as he stared down, deciding to be as honest as he could with both the brunet and himself. "All of this is… a lot to take in. I'm truly grateful for your help, and the information that you shared with me, but I don't…" He took a long breath. "I don't think I can give you an answer right now."
As he finished speaking, Atsushi finally gathered enough courage to tear his eyes away from the floor and look at the mafioso. He expected his expression to be cold or enraged, but Dazai looked completely calm, nodding to him.
"That's completely understandable, Atsushi. I can't blame you - it is a lot." He mused before pulling back and throwing his hands behind his head to rest against his chair again. "Althooough…" A ghost of a smile touched his face - the smile that Atsushi did not like. "You completely destroyed your previous place of work, so you can say you're out of a job." Dazai started to count on his fingers. "And without someone to keep your special ability in check, anyone at any moment can realize that you're a tiger with a seven billion yen bounty on your head." With each finger rising, Atsushi could feel his heart drop further and further. "And, as I heard, the police are also after a man-eating tiger who's been causing trouble in these parts." Dazai dropped his hand and opened his eye to gaze straight at now no-longer a waiter. "Do you have a place to go as you hold no job?"
"N-no…" His voice sounded so small he wished to shrivel up and curl in on himself.
"Oh, how unfortunate." The man sighed, sounding overly dramatic until a note of sadistic amusement creeped into his voice. "But my offer is a standing one. So, answer whenever you want, Atsushi."
Oh, he knew what game Dazai was playing, he knew he was being chased into a corner and he had no hope of escaping, he knew how bad his situation was, somehow worse than when he almost starved to death on the streets of this very city, and yet…
He clenched his hand into a fist so tight it hurt. Dazai smirked, already knowing the answer before the boy even opened his mouth.
"It… it would be an honor working with you."
Atsushi gave in.
Atsushi wasn't sure what he had expected out of his new job - being the mafia, he had no idea what kind of paperwork they did, so he imagined forging signatures, counting money or signing on people's death sentences.
But in actuality it was much more tame. Dazai led Atsushi to his Port Mafia office - it was as messy as his apartment, floor littered with books, bottles, bandage rolls and guns (the mafioso said they were all empty… at least he thought they were - later, when Atsushi was sweeping the floor, he with utmost caution swept them to the corner), as well as more alarming things such as bloodied shirts, pills and an occasional snapped rope. A big red wood table stood in the center, shelves stood along the walls and a well slept-on couch stood on the side.
Before Atsushi even had time to be disturbed by the state of the place, Dazai had pushed him down on the chair and dropped a huge stack of all kinds of papers in front of him.
"Don't be intimidated, Atsushi." He said with a smile a bit too devious not to be intimidated by. "Now listen - if you see a real estate document, you need to check the address and date of acquisition, or date and length of the rent agreement, as well as the percentages- Oh, right, I'll give you a sheet with percentages, they differ for real estate, entertainment establishments and services… Well, you'll figure this out! Now, if you see a document on a person with their name on the red line, you need to assess if they're valuable for hire and look at their background, if the name is on yellow line you need to write and send a notice to gather information on them, if their name is on a dark blue line…"
Dazai kept talking, dropping relevant documents on Atsushi's lap, while the secretary's mind was struggling to even process all the new information, much less memorize it.
And so he started small - sorting documents, reading through them, using the computer to check what half of the words on more professional documents meant, trying to make sense of the calculation sheet Dazai wrote for him…
"Dazai, I don't know if I can do this…" He whined after a long day of looking at a single report he was supposed to assess. At first he was deathly afraid of making a mistake and making Dazai - his employer and only line of defense against the tiger - disappointed, but he had to be honest. The brunet, an airhead that he appeared to be, didn't seem to pay much attention to the quality of work Atsushi actually did, but he was afraid that if he messed up it would put Dazai in trouble with the rest of the mafia, and he, consequently, would be screwed.
"Eh, you're doing fiiine." His employer waved from the couch. "You're doing a way better job than I ever did, Atsushi."
"How?.."
"You're looking at the papers." Dazai smirked. "That's more than I usually do."
He only huffed in disappointment.
"Really, Atsushi." The man turned his head to look at him, the smile on his face surprisingly genuine. "You just started. You'll figure it out."
Atsushi's breath hitched. It was such a small encouragement, but he couldn't remember the last time somebody even tried to cheer him on, in any capacity. So Dazai's words and his little smile made his chest feel weirdly tight.
Right. He nodded. Dazai has given him a chance, and he couldn't let him down. Even if he was way over his head, he needed to keep it together.
He didn't think he could do this, but Dazai did. So he had to do it.
Still, he started out pretty slow. Cleaning up the office and sorting out files helped a lot, and soon Atsushi started to understand the nature of the work he needed to do.
Which also came with the understanding of how big the things he was working with were.
The kind of money flow he was handling, people he looked into, what impact the revisions he had to check and approve of had on the entire business chains - this was incredibly serious stuff.
"What did you expect?" Dazai asked the other day when they were returning to their apartment building - the apartment that was given to Atsushi was a bit smaller and more plain than Dazai's and was five floors down, but it was still better than a little room he was renting when he worked as a waiter. "I'm a mafia executive, which makes me one of the five bosses under the man who's in charge of the whole Port Mafia. That's why they expect me to do that boring stuff."
"But… if you aren't doing the paperwork, what else do you do?" Atsushi furrowed his eyebrows.
Dazai stopped, cocking his head and sending Atsushi a chilling smirk.
"Oh, Atsushi, if you want to sleep calmly at night, you don't want to know."
That made Atsushi gulp and drop the topic.
Yeah, Dazai Osamu was the weirdest part of his job.
"Atsushiii, do my report." Was the first thing Dazai said when he entered his office that day, a couple of weeks after he hired Nakajima. Some of the days Atsushi would spend completely alone, apart from running to talk to a couple of other people who dealt with the documents. Other days, Dazai would come to the office with him, spending time reading (usually the same book - Atsushi loved books and never judged them from the cover, but 'Complete Guide to Suicide' didn't sound like something he'd enjoy reading) or singing along to the tunes in his headphones. Sometimes Dazai would come in halfway through the day, and most of the time Atsushi had a creeping suspicion he was avoiding his other responsibilities, but he had no actual evidence so he didn't bring it up, choosing to ask the man questions about things he still struggled with.
"I am yet to do one of those." Atsushi lifted his head from a file he's been trying to decipher the meaning of for the last hour and a half. "What do you do in a report?"
"It's easy!" The mafioso plopped himself right on the table, almost pushing a stack of equipment lists over the edge. "Just describe how my mission went and its results."
"Yeah, that does sound easy…" Atsushi nodded, eyes still scanning the file, before he realized what he just said, turning his head to look up at Dazai with furrowed eyebrows. "Dazai, I can't write that. I wasn't with you on your mission."
The brunet pouted. "I'm sure you can handle it. Just make something up! Nobody reads those anyway."
"I can't just make something up! Besides, from the amount of complaining notes-" Atsushi pointed at the hefty pile of papers Dazai was sitting right next to. "People do read your reports."
"Oh, you actually read these?" Dazai picked up a few papers from that stack. "I usually just throw them away."
"It's not even all of them?!"
"Oh, it's probably just from the last three days."
"Dazai-"
Before he could scold his employer, the front door swung open with such force that the slamming sound made Atsushi jump, panic instantly rushing through him. Instinctively he scrambled off his chair and ducked under the desk.
"DAZAI!" His body flinched when an angry shout rang through the office. "You useless waste of bandages, why haven't you come to the meeting?!"
"Chuuya, you really should learn how to properly use the door." Dazai made a tsk sound with his tongue, his voice sounding displeased.
"You should learn how to do your damn job!" Cautiously peeking over the edge of the desk, Atsushi looked at the newcomer - a young man with red hair under a fancy hat and piercing blue eyes that were currently drilling holes in Dazai. The man - Chuuya? - seemed to notice him as well, straining up his posture, his eyebrow lifting up.
"And who's this guy?"
"Don't mind him, Atsushi." Dazai didn't bother answering, poking Nakajima with his foot instead to coax him back into his chair. "That filthy dog probably wrote half of these. And that's why I'm not reading them." He carelessly dropped the notes with complaints back onto the table.
"Hey, who are you calling a dog, you-"
"Sorry!" Atsushi jumped on his legs, bowing his head to the red haired man. "I'm Nakajima Atsushi, Dazai's secretary. It's nice to meet you."
"A secretary?" Chuuya turned his head back to the brunet. "Dazai, what the hell does this mean?"
"Atsushi here helps me with my paperwork." Dazai smiled innocently, ruffling the secretary's silver hair. "So I can be more efficient with my work and visit that meeting you are here to drag me to! Isn't that nice?"
"Dazai, you dumbass-" The hat man didn't sound pleased at all. "You're an executive, you can't trust all this information to some snotty brat."
"I assure you, Atsushi is great." The brunet immediately dismissed his concerns. "He even went through all those whinings you sent my way. Besides-" He finally jumped off the table, walking up to the man in the door, his voice smug. "When was the last time I made a wrong decision, hm?"
"I don't know, yesterday? In the morning? Five minutes ago?" The redhead rumbled, unimpressed, before his eyes scanned Atsushi again. "This freak didn't kidnap you or anything, did he?"
"Oh? No, no!" The secretary frantically waved his hands around. He did leave me no other valuable choice, but… "Actually, Dazai really helped me! I'm in debt to him."
"Really?" The man narrowed his eyes in skepticism. "Well, don't give him slack. The second you stop watching this little shit he always pulls some weird stunt." Dazai let out a fake dramatic gasp, but the redhead only pushed him out of the door. "Get going already! Oh-" Before closing the door, the man waved his hand. "I'm Nakahara Chuuya. Be seeing you around, runt."
"See you…" Atsushi managed to let out before Chuuya slammed the door shut. Through it, the secretary could still hear him yelling at Dazai to hurry up.
At least Dazai didn't act in the weird way he did just around him, Atsushi thought, taking a small amount of comfort in that.
"Oh, going to lunch, Atsushi?" Dazai turned his head from the couch when he heard Atsushi stand up.
"Yeah." He nodded, stretching. "I can grab something for you if you want."
"Ahhh, you're so niiice!" His employer also jumped up on his legs. "But I think I'll walk with you. You always go to the cafe around the corner, right?"
"Yes. It's close and prices are good." It was a nice little place - most of the customers were low-level mafia workers like him, but the security there was very tight, so Atsushi could not worry about getting into any mafia scuffles.
"Atsushi, you should visit more places." Dazai shook his head. "Do you even go anywhere on your days off?"
"I don't have days off." Atsushi blinked at him.
Dazai blinked back. "Really?"
"You never told me I have any."
"Right…" The brunet squinted his eyes, seemingly thinking about something, before snapping his fingers. "You have Thursdays and Sundays off. Oh, and full moon nights of course. Now let's go, I'm starving!"
After Atsushi shook the initial shock off (he already got used to doing his shopping after work - and now he had not one but two days in a week all to himself. His only regret was that today was Monday) he followed Dazai out of the office. He got used to walking through the Port Mafia base lobby - on his first days his legs shook with every step he had made here, every passing figure in a black suit, sunglasses and a gun on their belt making him sweat more, but as the days went by the fear subdued. Nobody ever paid attention to him, and so Atsushi just went with the flow.
People did pay attention if he was with Dazai though. They tended to part like the red sea in front of the executive, which the brunet seemed completely unbothered by, casually hurrying Atsushi along.
Today seemed no different.
"How about we go to the ramen shop down the street?" Dazai kept chatting, coat on his shoulders waving back and forth as he kept turning to Atsushi while they walked.
"It's expensive…" The secretary mumbled, shoulders a bit stiff as they passed the other mafia members.
"Do I not pay you enough to afford a bowl of ramen, Atsushi?" The brunet looked at him, gaze almost offended.
"No!" He was paid more than enough. More than twice as much as he earned as a waiter, but… old habits died hard, and after being starved in the orphanage for so long and almost dying from hunger outside of it, Atsushi wanted to make sure he'll always have enough money to feed himself tomorrow. "I guess one bowl won't hurt…"
"Atsushi, do you just not like ramen-"
"It's not like that! I-"
Atsushi got so distracted by their conversation he didn't notice one person in the whole lobby that did not step to the side. And so he bumped right into them.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" He instantly stepped back. The person let out a couple of dry coughs before straightening his back, dark eyes sending a look that Atsushi could only describe as murder.
"What do you think you're doing, brat…" A young man in a long black coat and with a very unfriendly face spoke in a gruff voice.
"I'm sorry, I-" Before he could finish his sentence, Atsushi glimpsed a flash of red light - in a second a black beast arose behind the mystery man, and before the secretary could even blink it charged towards him, jaws agape.
Instinctively, Atsushi lifted his arms to shield himself, but the impact never came.
"Akutagawa." Hearing Dazai's stern and even voice made him hesitantly open his eyes. The brunet's arm was right in front of his face, a black monster dissolving in the air from his touch. "I would advise you against attacking my new employee."
"Your employee?.." The man stumbled back, fully looking over Atsushi.
"Let's go, Atsushi." Dazai disregarded him and started walking again.
"Wait! I have a message for you-"
The mafia executive turned to Akutagawa, and the look in his unobstructed eye made chills run down Atsushi's spine. When he spoke, his voice felt like a cold waterfall.
"Tell it to me after you stop wasting time on pathetic fights with people."
And then he resumed walking.
For a few moments Atsushi just stood there, his muscles frozen and breathing nonexistent. He knew that Dazai was a mafioso, he had seen the sinister intent behind his smile, malice dancing in his eyes, heard him say some messed up things with a sweet voice, but he felt like this was the first time he has glimpsed Port Mafia executive Dazai.
Akutagawa looked shaken as well - he stood right where Dazai left him, eyes looking at the floor, and an expression on his face that would make Atsushi pity him if he wasn't literally attacked by this man. Shaking his head, the secretary awkwardly ran around Akutagawa and back to Dazai's side, finally leaving the building.
Walking down the street, Atsushi still felt shaken from what just happened. He threw a few side glances at Dazai - the man seemed just fine, humming a cheery sounding tune to himself.
Atsushi shook his head again. He needed to distract himself.
"So… that was Akutagawa, huh?" That was probably the worst topic he could've picked for a distraction, but anxiety hasn't let him think of any other at the moment. "I see his name in mission reports a lot."
"Yeah, he's my subordinate." Dazai hummed. "I don't have a lot of people working straight under me, but he's one of them. I think you'll work great alongside him."
"I- He attacked me for bumping into him!" Too baffled, Atsushi stopped walking and gestured back to the direction of the mafia headquarters they were walking from.
Dazai only shrugged.
"Don't take him too seriously."
"But he-"
"Ramen, Atsushi." Dazai waved him off and started walking again, faster this time.
"Dazai-"
"Your boss might get mad if your lunch break takes too long!"
Atsushi gasped, running after him. When they got to the shop, despite Dazai saying he was just joking earlier, the secretary had dawned his ramen in a record time.
Just like that, the first full moon since Atsushi started to work for Dazai came.
"What do I do?" He mumbled into his phone, anxiously pacing around his apartment.
"Atsushi, I didn't give you a day off today so you could spend it calling me at eight in the morning." Dazai's voice sounded gruff, and the secretary immediately felt guilty for waking him up.
"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about the whole… tiger thing." He gulped, stepping into the bathroom to look at his reflection in the mirror. Nothing off so far.
Dazai let out another long and tired sigh.
"Listen - come to my apartment in the evening, let's say eight pm. I'll handle the 'tiger thing' when it happens, and you're good until the next full moon. Sounds good?"
"Y-yes." Atsushi nodded frantically as if Dazai could see him over the phone. "Thank you, Dazai. I'll see you in the evening."
It will be fine. He looked himself in the eyes through the mirror, trying to cheer himself up. You can do this. No tiger. You will be fine. No tiger.
Calming himself down didn't go all too well. Too afraid to go outside, Atsushi spent the entire day anxiously moving around in his apartment, trying to clean or pretend to be busy and not worried.
Fifteen minutes before eight he was pacing in front of Dazai's front door. He almost jumped out of his skin when the door swung open, very unamused Dazai staring at him.
"You're going to ruin your shoes, Atsushi." He said, stepping to the side to let him in.
"Sorry!" The secretary collected himself and quickly walked inside.
"Calm down, Atsushi, you're acting like you have a bomb strapped to your chest." The brunet rolled his eyes. "The sun is not even down yet."
"Sorry…" All he could do is apologize. He did feel guilty for bothering Dazai, but he really couldn't help it. Somehow, this felt worse than when he thought he was hunted by the tiger.
If that was the case, he had a slim chance to escape. But he couldn't escape from himself.
He sat in the living room, rocking back and forth and watching the bustling city outside the windows, the sky getting progressively more dark with each passing minute. When he started to feel even a bit weird he'd panic, thinking that his transformation had started, but Dazai would only wave a hand at him, repeating that it was too soon.
"How come nobody has ever told you you're a tiger?" The brunet asked around midnight, sipping some coffee. He offered it to Atsushi but he politely declined - he was already too jumpy.
"I don't know. People in the orphanage must’ve known..." He frowned, thinking back on the times people there mentioned the tiger. "I was often locked up alone, called a monster, but I am not sure why nobody told me…" He shivered at the memories.
Good for nothing.
You should be dead.
A monster.
"...and it's only been a few months since they threw me out. I guess nobody else saw me transform." His memories of those nights were blurry - he remembered the fear that immobilized his body, the piercing shine of yellow eyes and a roar. And all along, that was me.
"I see…" Atsushi flinched when he heard Dazai reply. He got so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot he wasn't alone.
"Dazai, do you-" A question formed on his lips, but before he could finish he felt his breath hitch, eyes drifting to look outside the window at the light that drove him like a moth to a flame.
The moon.
Sunset eyes widened, Atsushi's body freezing in place. He forgot what he wanted to say, forgot what he was thinking - it was as if his mind was slipping through his fingers, leaving only a white void in his head. Suddenly, he felt a pulling feeling in his chest. Consuming. Suffocating.
"D-d-"
And then slender fingers surrounded his wrist. The pressure in his chest dissolved, allowing him to breathe again. A cold rush swept over Atsushi's body, waking him up from his state.
"And there we go!" He jumped up when he realized that Dazai was right next to him, sitting on the same couch. The mafioso let go of his wrist with a satisfied look on his face. "We're done here."
Atsushi blinked, and then a river of thoughts finally hit his head again.
"That's- that's it?!"
"Yeah, you should be good." Dazai hummed.
Atsushi shook his head, reaching his hand to grab onto the brunet's forearm. "But but but- are you sure?! I didn't even start transforming - what if this doesn't count? What if I transform anyway? What if-"
"You didn't transform again last time I used my ability on you." The mafioso reminded him, his finger booping Atsushi on his nose and making him bite his tongue. "If you planned on holding hands all night, I regret to inform you that I have no habits of flirting with men."
"I- Aagh, no no no!" The secretary pulled back, feeling his face burn from those words. "I didn't think- I wouldn't-"
"Or you wanted to watch me sleep the whole night? I didn't think you were such a pervert, Atsushi." Dazai continued his unrelenting teasing, corners of his mouth curling more and more.
"No, I would never! Ugh-" Atsushi buried his face in the palms of his hands. After a moment, he mumbled through his fingers. "Stop messing with me…"
"Me, messing with you? You wound me, Atsushi." Dazai said with overplayed innocence and threw his head back, pretending to be offended. "Here I am, generously helping you to keep your secret, and you think it's all just a tease?"
"...no, you're right." Atsushi said, making mafioso freeze in the middle of his dramatic pose and plop his eye open. Nakajima lifted his head, a shadow of tiredness still haunting his face but his smile, although small, was warm and genuine. "Thank you, Dazai. For everything."
The playfulness washed away from the mafioso's body, leaving his face oddly neutral. His eye lingered on Atsushi, scanning his face, his posture, his smile, before Dazai let out a sigh.
"No need to thank me. It's a part of our deal after all." He said naturally as he stood up from the couch. However, before he could step away, a quick movement caught his attention.
Turning his head back, Dazai saw Atsushi grab his sleeve, touch so gentle he didn’t feel it before. His eyes trailed to Nakajima's, face still neutral but eye questioning.
"I…" Atsushi gulped under the weight of that heavy gaze, but didn't let go. "Sorry, I guess I'm still nervous…"
Dazai's eyes narrowed, and Atsushi felt fear spike in his chest - he had pushed too far, he had annoyed Dazai, perhaps even made him mad, what was he thinking, he should've just left right away and not bother hi-
"You're so demanding, Atsushiiiii." Pouty voice interrupted his train of thought. Dazai pursed his lips in annoyance before plopping back on the couch, hands behind his back. "Fine, fine, let's sit for a bit longer. But if you'll be late to work tomorrow I'll take it off your paycheck!"
Atsushi, surprised to the point that his mouth fell open, could only enthusiastically nod. "Of course! Thank you, Dazai!"
The man only smirked in reply.
An hour later, his secretary drifted off to sleep.
Dazai watched him slump on his couch, body twisted in quite an uncomfortable position and mouth slightly open. His hand was grasping the sleeve of his coat that he grabbed when Dazai sat back down, most likely because he thought that this way No Longer Human would prevent him from transforming.
Nakajima Atsushi. His latest source of entertainment.
The mafioso leaned against the back of the couch, setting hands on his chest. So far, the boy has been both more and less high maintenance than he initially anticipated.
Atsushi was a slow worker - it wasn't surprising, considering his only working experience was being a waiter for a few weeks, but having a secretary was redundant when Dazai still had to doublecheck every file. Atsushi also felt like a white raven amongst the other mafia members - watching him exchanging work related information felt more irritating than fun to Dazai.
Not that there wasn't any fun. The brunet enjoyed teasing the boy - it felt good to have someone else in the office while he was slacking off on the job, especially someone he could annoy and who would banter back with him. And, he supposed, watching Atsushi struggle with the paperwork made it a teensy bit more enjoyable to do. By which he meant it was still a nightmare and he'd rather throw himself off this very building than work on it, but still. A little bit more enjoyable.
Maybe Atsushi was barely any help at all, but Dazai didn't expect him to take the job as seriously as he did or put in as much effort, to the point of neglecting himself. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised - the tiger seemed to ooze self hatred, and yet desperately clung to life.
He wondered why. Probably had to do with that orphanage he talked about earlier, but Dazai didn't care for sob stories about the past.
Perhaps he should've just handed the tiger over to Mori a month ago, the brunet pondered, throwing another look at Atsushi. He was drooling on the back of his couch now, which did make Dazai snort. Considering just how clean he made his office in the first three days on the job, he imagined once the tiger woke up he'd be mortified and insist on cleaning the whole thing. He could imagine how wide and horrified his eyes would grow if Dazai mentioned how expensive it was. Poor thing would never stop apologizing.
Such a naive fool. So trusting and kind and uncomplicated it would make Dazai mad if he wasn't so apathetic towards everything.
A little while longer, he decided. He could hand over Atsushi to the mafia at any time he desired, but for now, he wanted to keep up this play for a little bit longer.