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Sometimes, Finn would get weird.
His eyes would seem glazed over, pupils like lily pads in tiny ponds under the sun. His gaze could be empty, darting around at the mystical lands of Ooo but never really registering it. It was like he wasn’t there. Vacant. Sorry, Finn-can’t-come-to-the-phone-right-now vacant.
It didn’t happen often, but it happened enough that Jake had developed a sort of routine, a list of things that may or may not pull Finn out of his mysterious stupor. When Jake would ask Finn a question and all he got was silence, perhaps even a hum of fake acknowledgement, Jake would involve Finn in as many activities and conversations as possible. Results varied, success just as common as failure on days like that.
Today seemed to be one of those days.
Finn seemed completely fine when he woke up, but as soon as Jake suggested Finn water their plants while he cooked breakfast he seemed to wilt. Jake didn’t realize what had happened until after he finished cooking and saw Finn staring out the window, watering can in hand as he drowned a plant absently.
“Hey buddy, I think it’s had enough water. Wanna go sit down and eat?” Jake always tries to be gentle when Finn is like this. He couldn’t tell if it helped or not but he knew Finn always listened better when people respected him when he was normal.
Getting nothing but an indecipherable hum, Jake stretches his arm so it’s against the back of Finn’s fuzzy red pajamas and helps him along to the table. His metal arm bumps against the table roughly, making the silverware and plates rattle cacophonously. Finn doesn’t seem to notice though, as he stumbles into his seat. Jake can’t help but let out a sad chuckle as he puts everything on the table back into their previous places. It’s bad today.
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“How long did you say this has been happening for?” Princess Bubblegum asked, hands placed out on her lab table, using her arms as anchors as she stares deeply into Finn’s eyes. Finn’s sitting across from her, still looking empty but noticeably better than this morning.
“I’m fine, Peebs.” Finn’s voice sounds lifeless, like something had sucked the youth and wonder from his vocal cords.
“Uh huh, sure,” the Princess says in a disbelieving tone. It was clear she was contemplating something, unsure whether to double down on a hypothesis this early or to continue to study the boy. So far, it was apparent he was dissociating, but why? “Did anything happen that might’ve triggered this state?” She turns to Jake.
“Trigger?” Jake looks at her confusedly.
“You know, something that might relate to a traumatic event. It could be something miniscule, something completely ordinary that reminded him of a bad memory.”
“Well I was finishing up breakfast, so I asked him if he could water the-“ Something obviously clicks in Jake’s mind as he turns to look at Finn sadly. “Oh, buddy,” Jake looks back at the princess, “I asked him to water the plants. It must have made him think of Fern.”
Finn visibly bristles at the name and brings his knees up to his chest while he sits in the chair.
Princess Bubblegum sucks in a deep breath and begins to speak, “Jake, Finn is dissociating. It can be caused by a lot of things, sometimes by nothing at all. If he’s been doing this for a while, it probably means it occurs as a coping method for him. When he doesn’t want to deal with harsh emotions, his body and mind may subconsciously distance themselves because of them.”
She grabs Finn’s hand, probably trying to be comforting. He instead rips it away, standing up and suddenly looking much more alive.
“You back, man?” Jake stands with him, inching closer.
“Dude, I was never gone. Stop talking about me like I’m not even here! I’m not disso-whatever-ing. I’m fine,” Finn finishes, looking unnerved and anxious. “Let’s get out of here and go find a quest, Jake!” He turns towards the door and walks briskly out of the room.
Jake and the Princess give each other a look.
“Next time that happens, call me over to the treehouse. I’ll show you a few ways to help him when he’s like that. Dissociation isn’t inherently bad, but it can cause problems if it happens too often. He needs help, Jake.”
The Princess leads Jake over to the lab door and exits with him.
“Ok PB, I promise. He gets scary when he’s like that, and ‘ion want him to miss out on life because crappy stuff happened, y’know what I mean?” Jake gives a little nervous laugh, but looks at the Princess earnestly.
“Of course Jake. I’ll see you later,”
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Finn’s not doing so great right now. He knows that, even though it may seem like he’s ignoring all his problems. Well, he is ignoring them, but he knows they’re in there.
Right now he’s sat on his thinking hill. It’s where he sits and thinks. Tries to think. When he thinks too hard, he gets all floaty. It’s not a bad feeling, but he can’t get much done up there when he’s not even in the room with his brain.
The view from his hill is pretty sweet. The sky is all blue and stuff. There’s a lake off in the distance. It looks like it'll be fun to swim in. He’ll tell Jake about it later.
A week or so ago, Jake had taken him to the candy kingdom and made him sit with Bonnie to let her observe him or something. It was so stupid! Nothings wrong with him, he’s totally fine.
He can’t remember it that well, but he knows he was floaty that morning. But it can’t be “dissociating.” That kind of thing scares him, not being in control of his own body. He’s had enough of that for one lifetime.
That train of thought seems to drift away as Finn is swept under an invisible current, losing himself to his own mind and floating away.
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Jake can’t find Finn anywhere in the treehouse, and he’s starting to flip out. It’s getting late, and his brother still isn’t home. Normally, Jake would just go to bed and know that Finn would be there when he wakes up, but with everything that’s been happening with him recently Jake is worried that Finn is off somewhere dissociating, like PB put it.
When Finn left earlier, he said he was going somewhere to think.
Thiiiink.
Thinking hill!
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Jake finds Finn right where he expects him to be.
And he’s 100% dissociating.
“Hey Finn. What’s going on up there? You doing okay?” Jake’s line of questioning sounds stupid even to him. Of course he’s not okay, or else he wouldn’t have spent four hours on top of some hill sitting and doing absolutely nothing but staring off into the distance.
“I’m okay, Jake. Just thinking,” Finn pauses. A cold breeze blows past and Jake can see goosebumps rise on the sixteen year old’s arms. “You can go, Jake.”
“I don’t think I will buddy,” Jake extends his arms to wrap around Finn’s torso and back to warm him up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Finn ended up with a cold sometime soon, seeing as he’d been out here for so long with nothing but a t-shirt on. Jake makes a decision. “I’m gonna stay out here with you until you’re ready to head back inside, okay?”
Finn turns to Jake, not really looking at him but eyes softening.
“Okay, man.”
No matter how messed up his brother got about stuff, Jake would always be there to support him. That’s what love is, isn’t it?
Jake scooches closer to Finn, and both boys look out at the view.
Jake would definitely be taking Finn over to that lake to swim sometime soon. Whenever Finn was up to it.