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It had been too long since Whole entered the Psyche again. He decided to spend the night there, well, most likely the next few nights now that he thinks about it. His parents were pissed that he was planning to move across Victoria to get away from them. “We’ll protect you!” They said, “If you’re gone, there’s no saying what those demons will do to you!”
The demons in question were his parts.
None of them would dare to hurt him.
They’re shit parents, to be frank. They abused him since he was young, something that affected him and his parts severely, and turned him into the family scapegoat. They’d put their problems on him, even when he didn’t even know what they were talking about. The only reason he stayed in his hometown for so long was because they held the idea of tragedy and loss above his head if he moved out. “God will strike you down” or something of the sort.
But now that he’s recognized that his parents are shit to him and his siblings, he’s noticed how that’s rubbed off on him.
More specifically, his parts.
He should’ve caught it sooner, honestly. The way Heart looked when Mind was in control, Soul’s breakdowns from Heart’s manipulation. How Heart and Mind ran to him, covered in wounds, saying that Soul did that to them. How depressing.
He was told by Mind that Soul specifically would use him as an excuse for why he was so harsh. “This is on Harmonia’s behalf,” Mind had recalled. He had a talk the other night with Soul about it, which seemed to open the sovereign’s eyes to the glory of not using their religion as an excuse.
However, that had other effects as well. Like how Soul was in a terrible mood since he talked to it. How Soul has barely been touching his meals. How Soul spent more time in his Haven. Even specks of red in their room that Whole knows is Soul’s blood. Something happened in Soul’s head since then, but what?
He knows it must’ve had something to do with the other night, as Soul was fine beforehand. Maybe it had to do with Whole himself, as Soul could barely bear to look at him anymore. Maybe Heart and Mind? It’s been more anxious around them lately, so maybe something happened with them around a similar time? Or it could be his parents, as they have started to send him death threats since his decision to leave. Maybe that had an effect on Soul?
Whole sighed, frustrated at his thoughts.
He looks over to Soul himself, curled up on the other side of the bed, right on the edge of it. Soul lets Whole stay in his room on the rare occasions he’s over. And usually the Earth would be staring at him in awe, watching his every move until they fell asleep in unison. But now, he could hear his tail wag under the covers, slamming against the mattress with sadness, or maybe disappointment? The lack of normality worried the god.
He looks back up to the bedroom ceiling as his body reminds himself of the waning effects of the stomach medicine he took earlier. It felt like his abdomen was cut open, and everything on the inside was ripped out without care. He sighed, deciding to get some meds before he was bed-ridden. He needed a fresh breath of air anyways, just to clear his head.
Just as he was about to move, Soul moved instead. He heard as the sovereign sighed. Are they getting out of bed? Whole was confused. Looking to the sovereign, he sees Soul sitting on the side of the bed, pressing his hands to his face before shaking his head. In one motion, it raised itself from the bed and turned to leave.
“Soul?” He asked, knowing it was impossible he’d get a response. Soul didn’t notice Whole sat up from the bed until he was closing the door behind him. It stopped in its tracks, keeping nervous eye contact with its Lord.
Whole gestured for them to come back, and they hesitantly did so. It stepped into the room, like Whole did when he got in trouble with his father as a child. The door locked closed behind it. Whole didn’t know why.
He looked over to his bedside table and brought out Soul’s hearing aids for them to take. They watched the accommodations hesitantly before they slowly approached. It took one silently, glancing back to the Lord with a semblance of fear in his eyes. Whole nodded, trying to make it clear Soul was alright. It put the hearing aid on. It stayed silent.
“Where are you going?” The god asked the ruler who was now in front of him.
Soul whispered, tapping one hand with the other, “Downstairs. To- to the lounge.”
“Why?”
The Earth could barely speak for several moments, when usually he could with ease, even under stress, “To… to cry.”
“Why? What’s bothering you?”
A longer pause went between the two. “I don’t think you’d like to hear it, my Lord.”
“I would. I want to know what’s wrong.” Humanity reassures. He stayed quiet with sorrowful eyes that begged for the sovereign to speak.
The Dawn nodded, shifting his weight on his feet, “You’re mad with me, right?”
“I’m not mad. Just… disappointed.” Whole told the truth, yet it seemed the truth seemed to sting the sovereign.
“I don’t want you to be disappointed with me.”
“I know that. But what is bothering you?”
Soul inhaled, before struggling to find its words, “It’s just that… I’ve been working like that, punishments being bloody and all, for… hundreds of loops- That’s thousands of unfair punishments- punishments that went against your word and I-” They hiccuped, “Surely I can’t be redeemed, can I?”
“Of course you can.” Whole reassured,
The sovereign nodded, “But… but why?”
The god pondered, unsettling the sovereign, before settling on an answer he liked, “People have reasons they use to justify the actions they make. Sometimes the reasons are wrong, and sometimes only the actions are wrong, just like yours was. If people make the effort to change their reasons and the actions they make, then they are a good person.” A hand was placed on Soul’s cheek, “You can change your actions. I know it.”
The Earth nodded, “How do you know it, though?”
Whole smiled, the need for further clarification humouring him, “I believe in you.”
Atlas nodded, sniffling as he held the hand on his cheek. “Thank you,” their voice shook.
“No need. It’s only reasonable.” Harmonia said.
And somehow, that’s what made Soul break. He crumbled to the ground, grabbing a hold of Whole’s legs and the sheets and wailing. Their tail was heavy, barely flicking as it lay on the ground behind them. His grip was so tight it made his claws rip through the covers. Whole frowned, stomach stabbing at him as the sovereign cried. The hand on his cheek moved to his head as the god hushed him. Soul leaned into the headpats as waterfalls rained down his cheeks.
“Shh, shh, you’re alright.” Whole said, gentle eyes watching as his disciple sobbed cries of remorse into his legs. Fingers carded through their hair as quiet whispers turned to soft humming. Whole was careful to not tug on the disciple’s knotted hair as he brushed through it. The planet sniveled, rubbing his cheek into one of Humanity’s knees in response. Soul hiccuped, calmer but still wound up.
Atlas looked up at him, eyes glistening with tears, “You pr-promise you’re not mad at me?”
“I promise, seraph.” The disciple nodded, hiccuping back onto its Lord’s lap. “Why don’t you get back on the bed now?”
“Of course.” Soul sniffled, shakingly getting back up and onto the bed. Shadowed hands wiped stray tears from their face. He still kept his sight glued to the floor as he tried to steady himself.
Whole frowned, humming as he kept rubbing circles into their cheeks, “What’s on your mind?”
Soul sniffed, slowly making eye contact with his god, “Why don’t you hate me? I hurt them- I hurt them so bad- I’ve ripped out their insides before, my Lord! I don’t-“ He covered his face with his hands, “I don’t understand.”
“You’re one of my parts, seraph.” Whole says, “I cherish you all, and I’ll never stop loving you all.”
“But I-“
“I know. I still love you.”
Soul nodded weakly, confusion still knitted into his expression, but a clear smile across his lips, “O-okay…”
“You’re the best ruler I could’ve asked for, despite your flaws.” Whole said.
“I can’t be.”
“You are.”
The pause grew between them as Soul sniffled, nodding away the guilt that plagued him. He rested his head on the god’s shoulder, letting the subsequent hug swallow him whole. It nuzzled into his neck, the serenity of the god wearing off on him. Harmonia was silent, letting the AC say his words for him: “You are enough.”
The Earth took in a breath, before slowly lifting himself up from his saviour’s hold. Godly hands traced down an arm and onto his shoulder. He looked up at his saviour, finding caring eyes looking back at him. Whole pat the space to his left, “C’mere. I want to tell you a story.”
Soul nodded, following Whole back to the pillows. The god tried to throw the bed sheets over them both, but Soul sat on its legs blankly, the covers barely covering its feet.
Whole smiled, reclining in the bed normally, “Sit with me.”
“I am?” Soul cocked his head to the side.
“No, no,” the god chuckled, “Lay with me. Put your head here,” he pat his chest, “and get comfortable.”
{This can’t be happening. I can’t-} Soul thought.
“You’re too holy for me, my Saviour.” He finally said
“What even is ‘too holy?’” Whole asked
Soul attempted to retort before shutting his mouth. It gradually accepted Whole’s half embrace, nestling its head onto his chest. It silently requested to put an arm around his Lord’s back, but kept its other hand close to its chest. One of Harmonia’s hands was on its back, and the other on its head.
“There we are.” Whole spoke quietly, “Now, this story isn’t of much importance, more of a bedtime story than anything else, so you can fall asleep if you’d like. Got that?”
“Yes, Harmonia.” Soul stared at him, eyes sparkling in awe.
“Do you remember when we were little?” Whole asked.
{Lord… that was a long time ago…} The seraph shakes his head, “Not very well. I’m sorry.”
“No need for apologies. However, there was this one time, a few months before we left mom, that I want to talk about.” The Earth looked at him expectantly, a hand moving to Humanity’s chest.
“We were talking with Noah, as we were about to move out and into mother and father’s. Him and us were arguing, and we slapped him. We got into trouble with father for that, and he didn’t even hear the reason why we hit him.” Harmonia started patting Atlas’s head, letting his sight raise to the ceiling as he spoke, “And so I went to mom, and I told her why. The reason we slapped him was because he was insulting mom.”
“What was he saying?”
“The same shit father says about her. I swear, he was brainwashed into being a replica of father. Anyways, she forgave us. Because, well, we fought on her behalf. And Soul?”
“Yeah?”
The hand on the Dawn’s head stopped, and Whole’s language and expression became pointed and deadpan. He glared at the sovereign, “I don’t mind you fighting on my behalf, but have a very good reason for it. Do you understand?”
“Yes, my Lord.”
Whole smiles, “Good.” He kisses Soul’s forehead before letting the headpats continue. “That’s all I wanted you to hear. Do you want another story?”
“Do you?” Soul asked back.
“I’m asking you.” Whole’s statement sounded more like a question.
“I only want another if it doesn’t bother you.”
Whole paused before inquiring, “Will you go to sleep if I’m still talking?”
“Of course not.”
“Then no more stories,” Whole declared, “Just sleeping, then.”
“Okay.” Soul says, cuddling into his saviour once again, “Thank you, Harmonia.”
“Of course, Atlas.” He replies.
You know, if you told Soul from three hundred resets ago that one day he’d sleep with his head on Harmonia’s chest, he would’ve laughed in your face while quietly hoping you were right. Soul smiled on his Lord’s chest, letting sleep pull at his eyelids. Whole quickly followed suit, with the hand on his disciple’s head slowing until he fell asleep. The door unlocked.