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Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently ordering pizza. It's not just for any occasion either. It's movie night!
You thank the girl from the pizzeria and hang up the phone, spinning around towards your alien boyfriend.
"Okay. We've got half an hour to pick out a movie. Any suggestions?" You skip over towards where he's sitting on the couch.
Karkat looks up at you, expression thoughtful. The troll's black hair is slightly disheveled and his clothes rumpled. He's wearing a plain black t-shirt with gray skinny jeans in the smallest size for men, but still too big. He refuses to wear anything smaller, saying that a grown troll shouldn't be wearing "wriggler clothing". It's pretty hard to buy clothes for Karkat, with his small frame, and he hardly likes any of the clothes you buy him except for the black or gray ones.
"We could watch The Notebook." He suggests innocently, glancing up at you through thick eyelashes.
You sigh. "Karkat, we watched that yesterday. Besides, don't you think we should watch an action movie tonight? Like, Con Air maybe?."
"We've seen that one ten fucking times, and if I have to see that insufferable douche Nicolas Cage one more time, I will claw my think pan out through my nose." He growls at you.
You sit down beside him and try to think of a movie you'd both like. There really isn't any movies you both like that you haven't seen enough times to quote the entire thing.
Then, you come up with a brilliant idea.
"We don't have to watch a romantic comedy," Karkat growls at this, "But we don't have to watch an action movie either."
He looks genuinely confused, his eyebrows furrowing. He tilts his head to one side, which was unbearably adorable.
"Then what are we going to watch, fuckass?"
Your grin widens. "We'll watch a horror movie!"
His head tilts a fraction more and he looks ten times more adorable.
"A what movie?"
You laugh. "Horror. You guys don't have horror movies? I thought trolls were all violent and scary. You know, a scary movie?"
You seriously can't believe Karkat's never seen a horror movie. You don't really watch many yourself, but you've seen a few with Dave. You've never liked them either, since you don't enjoy being scared, but you'll be fine with Karkat to cuddle with. You grin at the thought.
"Wait, humans actually pay money to go get scared? What the fuck is the point in that?"
You open your mouth to answer him, then close it when you lack an answer. What was the point of horror movies. A ton of people liked them, too.
You just shrugged."I don't know. They're just fun to watch, I guess."
"So, humans like to get a fucking high from watching scary movies. Got it." He just gave you a deadpanned stare, but then turned the T.V and Netflix on and began browsing through the "Horror" section.
"Ooh, how about Paranormal Activity? I heard it was pretty scary." You suggest helpfully.
After reading the description, he shrugs. "It sounds pretty lame, but I don't really plan on paying attention, so why not."
You do a little victory cheer, and tap your lips to Karkat's. You then turn the lamp out and cuddle next to the troll, hugging his waist and resting your head on his chest with his arm wrapped around your shoulders.
He presses play, and you both sit back to watch the movie.
About ten minutes later, your doorbell rings, and you jump, your heart pounding. Karkat just rolls his eyes and pauses the movie as you get up and walk over to the door. You were pretty glad for the distraction, and though you hate to admit it, the movie is pretty scary so far. You pay for the pizza, and bring it into the living room.
After cuddling back into your previous position, you both take a slice of pizza, and Karkat presses play.
---
You are now Karkat Vantas, and you are currently holding your shaking matesprit.
You really have no idea what he's so scared about. You look at the movie that's currently playing, watching some humans dramatically play with a Ouija board.
At every pop-up, John jumps, his grip on your waist tightening. You still can't understand why these humans would create movies just to scare themselves. For trolls, movies like this one wouldn't be very successful. Maybe it's because death is pretty much background noise on Alternia.
John's grip tightens again, arm digging painfully into your injured rib. You wince slightly. He looks up at you with that adorkable face and sits up slightly.
"Oh, sorry Karkat. I forgot about your cut."
You just pull him back towards you, minding your cut. It had only been about a week since the two of you had gone out to the cinema (a horrible idea that turned out to be) and got mugged. Your wound you got from getting knifed was still there, but it was healing well, despite still being sore.
Throughout the movie, you can feel the human's heart beat pounding, then slow down, only to speed up again. He constantly buries his head into your chest to hide from the scary scenes. You're seriously reconsidering this whole "horror movie" thing. Not that you're complaining about all this cuddling, but you really don't like John being scared so much, not when you could just get up and turn the movie off. But he's determined to finish it. So you do.
After the movie, John still seems pretty shaken.
He goes to the bathroom to get ready for bed. You slip off your t-shirt and jeans, leaving you in your boxers, then go to brush your teeth. When you walk in the bathroom, John's brushing his teeth.
"So, are you still shaken up over your little lame-ass movie?" You say rather harshly.
He started at the sound of your voice with a yelp and a hard bash to his elbow on the bathroom counter. You sigh, and walk over to him. His mouth is all full of toothpaste, and the toothbrush is half hanging out of his mouth (which you would never admit, but you find this rather enticing). You gently grab him, kiss his elbow apologetically, then rub his arms.
He turns to spit in the sink, rinses his mouth then latches onto you. "I'm just tired. Let's go to bed." To punctuate his statement, he yawns widely, causing you to also yawn.
You settle into bed with him still clinging you like a sloth. You place a gentle kiss on his lips, then fall into a deep sleep.
Only to be interrupted a few hours later by John. You wake up to the sound of whimpering, and is takes you a few seconds until you notice that it's your matesprit. Even though humans' dreams aren't nearly as bad as the horrorterrors you trolls have to face, you're almost certain this nightmare is being caused by that fucking movie. He thrashes slightly, mumbling incoherent words and whimpering. This worries you. John never has nightmares. It's always you who's waking him up in the middle of the night with your nightmares, never vice versa.
You lean over John and gently place a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly.
"John. Wake up. John," He just continues to shake, more violently, "For fucks sake. John!"
He sits up straight with a gasp. His eyes are wide, and he looks around the room, relaxing when his eyes fall on you.
"I, uh, had a bad dream." He said, still looking shaken.
You sigh. "No shit. Now go back to sleep, okay?" You pull him towards you and wrap your arms around him, resting your chin on his head.
---
You are now John Egbert and you are currently waking up.
You climb out of bed, careful not to wake an exhausted-looking Karkat. You get a new set of clothes and your glasses and head to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, you glance at your reflexion in the mirror. Despite the shower, there are several dark bags under your sunken-looking eyes.
You were still pretty tired, since your night had been spent trying to endure the nightmares. You feel like a wuss. You've watched horror movies before. Like two, but still. A grown man like you shouldn't be afraid of a horror movie. And yet you were.
Karkat didn't seem to be scared in the least. Maybe it was a troll thing. Who knows?
Your day passes uneventfully. You and Karkat really just lie around the house all day, you cook breakfast, lunch, then finally, supper.
You rinse off Karkat's plate in the sink while humming an unknown tune.
"So, I was thinking that tonight we could watch another horror movie. Maybe Paranormal Activity 2?"
---
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are currently yelling at your matesprit.
"For the last time, Egbert, NO, we are not going to watch another fucking human terror film!"
"Aw, Karkat why?" John whines, a pleading woofbeast expression on his stupid face.
Humans really were stupid. It was painfully obvious how much they scared him, and you haven't a fucking clue why he wants to watch another one. Whatever the human custom was, you weren't supposed to just sit around and watch as your matesprit gets scared shitless just because of a stupid movie.
"Because they scare the shit out of you, that's why!" You snarl at him.
The human walks across the kitchen to you and presses his soft lips to yours, effectively shutting you up. You started to panic a little when you thought, 'Oh gosh... I just ate garlic bread', but then you remember he just did too, so it didn't really matter that your breath was so atrocious.
After his garlic-tasting lips pull away, he looks at you innocently, his bottom lip trembling slightly.
"Pretty please?"
You sigh. No one can resist John's pleading face. No one.
"Fucking fine, but if you start to get as scared as last night, I'm turning it off."
He skips around the kitchen idiotically as a little victory dance, hugs you, then skips towards the living room.
By the time you drag yourself there, the movie is already playing, and John looks up at you and pats the couch for you to come join him.
You reluctantly cuddle next to him, enjoying the warm hands that run through your hair. You relax and hope that John won't find this movie as scary as the first.
Your wish doesn't come true. Twenty five minutes later, one Egbert shakes and buries his head in your shoulder, trying to block out the screams coming from the television.
You've just about had it with these fucking stupid "horror" movies. John whimpers when you push him off you, and you walk over to the TV, pressing the power button and effectively turning the room dark.
"Why'd you turn it off?... K-karkat?" Only when you heard his pathetic whimper that causes you heart to hurt a little did you realize you should have at least turned a light on first.
You walk back to the couch, having no trouble seeing in the dark, being a troll. You can see John looking around, his bright blue eyes wide.
"Fucking relax, John." He jumps, and you can hear his thundering heart beat.
You walk over and flick a lamp on, washing the room with a yellow-tinted light, the pupils in his radiant eyes contracting in the new light.
---
Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently ashamed of yourself.
You had planned to watch this entire movie without needing to cower against Karkat. You fought thousands of unimaginable monsters during the game, fearless and brave, and here you are, cowering because of a few ghosts. You are the Heir of Breath. You shouldn't be afraid of silly movies. And yet, you are.
Karkat sighs, sitting down beside you, giving you something to snuggle. He runs his claws gently against your scalp, drawing a shaky breath out of you.
You tilt your head up and press a kiss underneath his jawbone. You shift a little so you can trail more light kisses up his jaw, then across to his mouth.
All of your fears tied to the movie disappear as Karkat wraps his arms around you pulling you onto him so that you're straddling his lap. The troll slides his hand down to your hips, and your hands run along the base of his horns, causing him to moan against your lips.
He pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours. You look into his deep crimson eyes, set in velvet gray skin while he looks into your blue ones.
"You're fucking beautiful, you know that?" He asks.
You blush, red creeping up to your ears. "Not as gorgeous as you." You mumble, one hundred percent honest and a million percent cliché.
Karkat lies back on the couch, pulling you on top of him.
---
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are currently waiting for the derp to fall asleep.
A good twenty minutes of intense makeout and grinding can be pretty tiring, so the two of you decide to go to bed.
John is lying in your arms, legs wrapped around yours, his breathing becoming increasingly slower.
"Karkat?" The human murmurs, looking up at you with a sleepy expression.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." And with a content sigh, his breath becomes even as he drifts off into an unknown dream.
"I love you too, John." You fall asleep with a smile on your face.
The two of you quickly discovered, that after John's nightmareless sleep, the perfect antidote to John's fears involving horror movies was a makeout.
And neither of you had a problem with that.