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Nami: Weathergirl and Matchmaker for the Big Mom Pirates

Summary:

While fighting Cracker at Whole Cake Island, Nami comes up with an idea to make some extra cash.

She's going to help the Big Mom Pirate crew find love.

First starting with Lola, Cracker, and someone who is crushing hard on her Captain.

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Nami analyzed every move that Cracker made, looking for any weakness in his defense. And then the arrogant son of a bitch explained his devil fruit powers. Armor made of biscuits- easy enough to beat. Make them moist enough and the biscuit will crumble leaving Cracker defenseless. It was the only strategy Nami could think of to beat him or at least delay him long enough for Luffy to regain conscience.

 

She sent multiple weather balls into the air. Dark clouds rolled in, and rain thundered to the ground. Wind ripped through the area, tearing off drenched parts of biscuit armor. With his defenses broken, Nami sent up another weather ball, and aimed her Climatact at Cracker. Lightning struck him, and a cloud of black smoke went up.

 

Nami rested her Climatact on her shoulder, as a smile graced her lips. No way Cracker could have survive d electrocution.

 

The smoke cleared away and a slightly burnt but standing Cracker stared at her. He snarled as he walked towards Nami with his sword pointed at her.

 

“I’m going to marry you.”

 

Nami raised her Climatact in defense, then paused and cocked her head at Cracker, “What?”

 

Cracker paled, stopping in his tracks, “No, I didn’t say marry- I said murder. Yeah. I’m going to murder you.”

 

Nami slowly nodded her head, and gently asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“No!” Cracker shouted before he plopped down onto the grass and pulled his knees up to his chest.  He let out a long defeating sigh. “It’s so unfair! Mama marries off my sisters to make alliances, but she won’t let her sons marry! She thinks having a wife would be distracting for any of her fighters. I just want to find love and be happy.”

 

Nami could barely hear the last part as Cracker was mumbling but she completely understood. Love of her sister and her village was the only thing that saved her all the years working for Arlong. It was a powerful emotion that could get you through the hardest times.

 

“I think everyone deserves to be happy and loved. Maybe you can find a woman who will fight along with you so you won’t be distracted.” Nami suggested, wincing at the idea of a even stronger enemy crew. But who was she to stop love?

 

Cracker perked up at the suggestion. “Then marry me! You’re strong and I’m sure my siblings would love you.”

 

Nami mentally sighed. Obtuse men were the bane of her existence. “You don’t even know me. Don’t you want to marry someone you love and makes you happy?”

 

“But my sisters had arranged marriages and they’re happy.” Cracker countered.

 

“What about Lola? She wasn’t going to be happy with Prince Loki.”

 

Crackers face twisted into rage. “Don’t mention that traitor. That bitch is no longer my sister after she left behind our family.”

 

Nami whipped her Climatact in front of Cracker’s face, “Do not call my friend a bitch. All she wanted was true love and your mother denied her. Like she’s denying you.”

 

Cracker grabbed the Climatact and pulled Nami close. Nami could feel the breath of Cracker on her cheek and saw the hatred in his eyes. “I. Will. Not. Leave. Mama.”

 

“I am not telling you to, but you won’t get your dreams if you keep listening to Big Mama. You said she won’t let any of the fighters marry and you are one of the Sweet Commanders. So, either stop being a solider or don’t listen to your mother.”

 

“Or I find myself someone to fight alongside me.”

 

Find someone- that gave her an idea. Nami pulled her Climatact and herself away from Cracker. “You know, I got a proposal for you.”

 

Nami laid out her plan in excruciating detail, hoping that either Cracker believed her and doesn’t kill her, or she stalls just long enough so Luffy wakes up and kicks his ass.  

 

And while Nami never learned Cracker’s answer to her idea, she didn’t have to finish her fight with him because a fist attached to a stretched rubber arm smashed into Cracker’s face.

 

“Stay away from my Namaka.”

 

 

On their way to Wano, a messenger bird dropped off a weekly newspaper. Details of the disaster wedding splashed on the front page.

 

Nami made mental notes of new bounties, enemies’ abilities, and which crew was making a move. She looked for any piece of information that could give the Strawhats an advantage for any brawl their captain would inevitably get them into.

 

When she finished fishing for info for the crew, Nami scanned over the classifieds. When she found what she was looking for, she fished out a red notebook and flipped open to a page that already had an entry.

 

Lola’s name was scrawled out in Nami’s neat handwriting at the top of the page. Directly underneath, were attributes Nami figured Lola’s perfect match needed to have.

 

Love at first sight, a risk taker, hopeless romantic, a good heart.

 

At first, Nami thought of Sanji. Then she quickly threw her crewmate’s name out the window. No way she was subjecting her friend to the insanity that is Sanji.

 

Nami thought over everyone she recently met. She crossed out any of the Big Mom Pirates.

 

Someone from Bege’s Gang? Gotti? Nami wrote.  

 

She circled Gotti and flipped to a new page titled Craker as she read the classified ad.

 

Dearest Weathergirl,

My heart still yearns for one who can face down the deadliest seabeasts without flinching. Who will love not only me but my family too. I dream of hair as beautiful as the sunset and smarts to outwit the most notorious masterminds. One who shocks my soul alive. I lay my hope and love in your capable hands.

With much future love, Biscotti

 

Nami sighed deeply wondering how Cracker didn’t get he message that she was never leaving the Strawhats.

 

Under Crackers name, she wrote his wants for a partner which only included strong fighter. She didn’t add flexible to joining Big Mom Pirates as a date must need because as contrary to belief, Nami was a sane woman. Even if she sailed under the Straw Hat flag. And no way was she going to hand deliver her enemies another great fighter.

 

Nami read further in the classifieds only to find another entry addressed to her.

 

Weathergirl,

My Brother has informed me that you will help me find love. I want someone who likes food, especially respects my meriendas. They can’t laugh at my extra big smile or my teeth. I would like if they were able to match me in a fight. As for physical aspects, I like black hair, lithe strong body, a scar under the left eye, and a smile that brightens the world.

-MochiLover

 

Nami wonder which of Cracker’s siblings had a developed a crush on Luffy. Well, there were sixty-four of them and Nami could only eliminate those that were not there and Chiffon, Cracker, and Pudding. So that left like fifty-some siblings. She dropped the thought as the waters surrounding Wano called for her attention. But she did give MochiLover their own page especially since they offered to pay her.

 

 

Two Emperors were defeated, and her own Captain was named as a replacement. The fight was over and Nami could get back to her side hustle. She already sent off letters to potential matches and received their confirmations, allowing her to craft multiple ads to World Economy News Paper.

 

My friend LoLoveLa,

Your truest match will meet you at La impression Café in Dressrosa on the 3rd.  He will be wearing a green cape.

Best Wishes,

Weathergirl

P.S. you may think you are staring in a mirror, but know the image is real.

 

Nami hoped the Lola would be happily surprised when reunited with Chiffon in Dressrosa and that wedding bells would be in her dear friend’s future.

The next ad she penned was for Cracker.

 

Biscotti,

With the recent political changes, your mother may be more open to a relationship of your choice. The one I have in mind, will not join your family, nor does she have orange hair. But she is a worthy ally, and I am glad to have fought alongside her. She understands duty and loyalty. So if you are looking for a change in your career, she will be waiting at Okobore tea house in Wano on the 15th and will be wearing a yellow Kimono. Compliment her on her swords.

-Weathergirl

 

Her last ad was to the mysterious Charlotte sibling.

 

MochiLover,

I think the person you had in mind is not interested in romantic relationships. However, if you were to denounce your current job, you may be able to form your own crew and sail under his flag. If you are interested, please contact the Thousand Sunny Friends Fan Club for more information.

-Weathergirl

 

Nami then designed one more ad to take up a whole page.

 

Do you want to fall in love, but you have an overbearing mother? Or maybe you live on an isolated island surrounded only by family and so finding your soul mate is a bit difficult. Perhaps you current job no longer exists so you are looking for a new adventure and someone to share that with. If this is the case, then I, Weathergirl, am here to help you find your true love.

As a world traveler, I come across many people from many different lands. Everyone I met is unique and even if I haven’t yet met the person perfect for you, I am meeting new interesting people daily. And for a small fee, I can do this for you.

If you are interested in being happy for the rest of your life, take out a personal ad in the WENP address to me, Weathergirl with details about yourself and what you are looking for in a future partner. Please pay half of the fee as a deposit and the other 15,000 Beri when you meet the one.

Cheers to finding you love,

Weathergirl