Chapter Text
Watari was at big tescos shopping for the starving orphans he owns.
A roadman ran in and stabbed him then ran out.
Roger had to go buy food for the starving orphans instead.
A roadman ran in and stabbed him then ran out.
"It's up to you now L." Roger said as the light (not the gay one) was dying from his eyes.
"It's up to me now." L said as he watched the light (not the gay one) die from roger's eyes.
L picked up the basket and continued shopping for the starving orphans but mello walked into bog tescos and his non-existent fangirls cheered.
"L i'm coming with you i want to look at clothes."
"We came to shop for food not clothes." Matt walked in not long after pushing a trolley with near in it.
"Tesco sells really bad clothes anyway."
"SHUT UP NEAR." Mello couldn't pull out a gun since this wasn't america but he also couldn't pull out a knife since it got confiscated before he came in on account of two consecutive stabbings happening in the same half hour so he just stuck his middle finger up at him.
"Wanker." Matt muttered under his breath
By the time they got over mello's tantrum, L had already escaped because there was no way in hell he was putting up with their bs.
At least he thought he'd escaped. As the smartest one out of all of them he worker best on his own and could usually outsmart them, but despite mello's one sided beef with near, once in a while when they worked together they could outsmart L.
This was one of those times.
"Haha! We found youuuuu. You can't hide from us L." That was mello.
He retracted this statement. This was not one of those times.
In actuality, matt had used his techy skills to hack the cameras from his apple watch 7489@1993&9'xa 69+ and was pushing both mello and near in the same trolley.
They were still squabbling so L knew exactly where they were so as long as he was faster he could complete the shop without running into them again.
Right now he was on the frozen aisle and the boys were on the bread aisle so if he moved to the alcohol aisle there was a 70% chance that they would follow him and knock all the bottles over.
However if he went to the pet aisle then there was 100% chance of escape and the boys wouldn't get criminal records.
Alcohol it was.
L high jumped over the shelves like they were vaults from year 9 pe and his teacher threatened to make him run laps outside with no jumper on if he didn't clear it. He shuddered. He still had nightmares from the frostbite.
Luckily that day taught him a valuable lesson and he made sure to clear every jump since then so the 15ft shelf was a breeze.
His plan was foiled when he heard the boys being yelled at by a tesco employee.
This was his chance to escape. He had everything bought (including mello's 2 million chocolate bars) and went to pay.
"Do you have your clubcard, love?"
L froze.
He had been so sure of everything but he checked his pockets and his hair and his shoes and the clubcard wasn't there.
It must've still been on roger's dead body.
Either that or somehow one of those orphans stole it.
No there was no way they'd be able to do that.
He asked the checkout person to hold on and ran back to where he left roger's body.
The body was gone.
It had already been taken to the morgue.
Also the boys were getting escorted off the premises.
"Wait, hang on, they stole my clubcard!" L ran across the shop like there was no tomorrow (cause there isn't tbh without a clubcard)
"These little brats! My god what haven't they done? Stealing a man's clubcard? That's gotta be the worst crime imaginable."
"Yeah it's pretty bad."
"Like imagine someone was able to kill anyone they knew the name of and they killed thousands of criminals, this is worse."
"Yes, I agree."
"Bloody mental that is. Tell you what sir, these lads are going to the station where their gonna get checked out, we'll get your clubcard off them and return it to ya'"
"Thank you very much."
"My pleasure."
The tesco employee just kept staring.
"Do i have to wait with my shopping? I haven't paid yet, I can't until i get my clubcard back?"
"It's up to you, don't mind me."
"I'll just go."
L ran off to find that his shopping had not been put to the side or anything, it had been put back. No one else seemed to care that he lost his clubcard.
He put his hands in his pockets, huffed, and went to get a meal deal.
His meal deal consisted of a tuna & sweetcorn sandwich, cheese & onion crips and a diet coke because that was the only pop they had left.
He sat outside tesco and ate his sandwich, ignoring the looks that the beggar and his dog were giving him.
His second sandwich got stolen by a pideon so then he ate his crisps which were 99.999% air.
Statistically that was very unlikely.
How unfortunate.
The coke exploded as soon as he opened it.
His white jumper was brown now.
Then they all beat the shit out of light.