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Heat.
That was the first thing Fizzarolli felt.
It wasn't a warm, inviting type of heat, like the kind you look for when it's snowing outside. No, it was an unbearably high temperature, the kind of heat one would expect from a desert or an oven somebody forgot to turn off. It felt familiar, but Fizz couldn't place why right away. His mind felt fuzzy, he didn't quite know where he was or what was going on.
Then came the pain. And with it, the memories.
All up and down his arms, legs, horns, even his face - there was the horrific, unbearable sensation of his body disintegrating due to the flames that licked at his skin. The feeling of his flesh literally melting off of his bones that were somehow still able to move despite the aching protests of what was left of his muscles. The awful burning pain that coursed through every one of his nerves as they were eaten away by the fire bit by bit, agonizingly slow yet quickly taking over his entire body until merely lifting his head felt like an impossible task. But Fizz did it anyway. In doing so, he saw the outline of another imp.
Blitzø.
Fizz felt elated at first, ecstatic to see the one person he knew wouldn't turn his back on him, no matter what. He was glad to see that he didn't appear to take as much damage from the explosion as Fizz had, given that Blitzø was still standing.
But then he remembered the look he'd given him before the fire started.
That look of utter disgust and resentment Blitzø had thrown his way before pulling back the curtain, mere seconds before the first flames erupted from below. Before the rest of the tent went up in smoke, before the box of fireworks was set off right in Fizz's face, kickstarting the agonizing sensation he would be feeling for the next several minutes.
Did he do this to him on purpose?
Fizz tried to push those thoughts aside as he reached for Blitzø, wishing, praying to Satan that he would pull him out of this hell and save him. His hand - or rather, what was left of it - stretched towards his best friend, shaking violently as boiling hot blood and melted flesh dripped off of it. Blitzø would never hurt him. He'd never abandon him, they had practically grown up together. He was like a brother to him, they cared about each other too much. They had plans of opening their own circus together in the future, he wouldn't just leave him to die here!
Right?
Blitzø stared at him with his good eye, the one that hadn't been affected by the blast. He didn't move.
Right?
He turned away.
…what?
He began walking away from Fizz.
No.
Blitzø was full on sprinting away from Fizz's mangled body now, not once looking back at his injured - dying? - friend on the ground.
No.
Fizz couldn't breathe.
He couldn't tell if that was a result of the smoke filling his lungs or the feeling of betrayal and shock that was quickly setting in as Blitzø became less and less visible in his field of vision. Why was he running away? Why didn't he help? Why did he just stare at him? Why did he just watch him writhe in agony like that?
Didn't Blitzø care about him?
Tears pricked his eyes as his chest throbbed with a sob that yearned to escape. He hurt all over, all he could smell was smoke, he was pretty sure his horns were fucking gone, and his best friend had just left him to burn to death.
Fizz felt that he was screaming, but he couldn't hear it over the sound of the roaring flames.
———————
He shot up in bed in a cold sweat. This time he could actually hear himself screaming as he kicked the silken covers off, instantly hugging his body with his artificial limbs.
His real limbs were gone.
“Fizz?”
They were fucking gone.
“Fizz!”
There was fire everywhere. It was going to kill him. He would never perform again. He would never see Blitzø again. It was taking his flesh. His horns. His life. Everything. He was going to die.
“FIZZY!!”
Fizzarolli gasped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't realized he was still screaming until he'd stopped, his throat burning as he panted heavily. His eyes darted across the room for the fire, the tent, anything-!
“Babe, babe, please look at me.”
Fizz turned to his left, following the source of the voice. He was met with the glowing green eyes of Asmodeus, wide with concern as he looked at Fizz worriedly. Both his hands were now carefully placed on Fizz's body and the back of his head, not quite embracing him but still holding him firmly.
“Just… look at me.”
After several seconds, Fizz's mind slowly understood that he wasn't at the circus. There was no fire.
He was in bed at Ozzie's place.
He was safe.
He was trembling violently. Tears were still spilling out of his eyes. His breathing was still erratic, he didn't know why. There was no smoke, why was he still having trouble breathing?
He tried to tell Ozzie this, but all that came out was a quiet whimper that only sounded a little like Ozzie's name. Somehow, Ozzie still understood and placed both his hands on Fizz's shoulders.
“Hey, it's okay, just focus on me, Fizz. I want you to try and copy my breathing, okay? Just do what I do.”
Unable to verbally respond, Fizz nodded shakily. Asmodeus inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and not taking his hands off of Fizz. He held his breath for a moment before slowly exhaling through his mouth, opening his eyes as he did so. Fizz attempted to copy him as best he could, but his hyperventilating made it difficult and he still found himself gasping for breath. Ozzie was patient with him though, continuing to breathe slowly and steadily so that Fizz could follow along, even telling him words of encouragement as he progressed.
After what felt like ages, Fizz finally managed to get his breathing under control. It was safe. He wasn't on fire. Blitzø never hated him. He'd saved his life yesterday, he wouldn't have done that if he'd hated him. It really had been an accident. He was still sorting out how exactly he felt about him after years of hatred, but that was okay.
Everything was okay.
He hadn't noticed it before when he was - well, panicking - but at some point Ozzie had scooped him up and placed him in his lap, holding him closer than before. He sniffled, a few stray tears streaking down his face. He wiped them away with his sleeve, trying to focus on Ozzie's arms around him.
“Was it another nightmare?” Ozzie asked gently.
Fizz nodded.
“Was it about…?”
Fizz nodded again. No need for further confirmation.
“Really? You haven't had one of those in months, Fizzy Frog…”
Fizz managed to half-smile at the affectionate nickname, but it quickly faded. “I know. I thought I was over those days. But…”
He trailed off, averting Ozzie's gaze in shame.
“The hostage bullshit yesterday… part of it reminded me of the incident.” He admitted. “It was only for a couple minutes though, I didn't think it would lead to this shit happening again.”
Ozzie frowned. “Babe, why didn't you tell me? You know I would've been more than happy to help you talk about it…”
“I know, but I didn't want you to worry more than you already were. Plus, like I said, it was only for, like, a few minutes - seconds, even. I didn't think that'd be enough for the nightmare brigade to reinvite itself.”
Fizz sighed. “This is such bullshit, it happened over 15 years ago! Why do I still freak the fuck out whenever fire happens?”
He ran his hands down his face, letting out an annoyed (and somewhat exaggerated) groan. Ozzie pet his head gently, causing Fizz to look up at him. He had a sad smile on his face, the tiny faces on either side of his head mimicking his expression like always.
“Fizzy, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing. Nor am I trying to tell you how you’re supposed to feel. But when someone goes through something as jarring as what you did, it sticks with them. Doesn't matter how long it's been, certain reminders are always capable of throwing you back into the hellhole that is those memories. It sucks, but it's completely normal.”
Fizz looked away. “But it's stupid.” He said with a pout. “I'm a grown-ass man, I should be able to fight these battles on my own.”
Ozzie shifted his hand from Fizz's head down to his cheek, gently stroking him with his thumb. “But you shouldn't have to. Just because you're struggling doesn't mean you have to do it alone. Especially when you've got people you can rely on.”
He smiled down at Fizz. “You can rely on me, can't you?”
Fizz looked at Ozzie, at his gentle smile and warm, vibrant eyes. One of the seven sins was vowing to protect him from his own mind. Him, Fizzarolli, the imp that came from a low-class family and didn't think he'd amount to anything more than a simple circus performer. He was the only demon in all of hell that Ozzie showed this side to, and Fizz was so grateful. They'd been together for some time, yet Fizz still found himself in awe at just how much Ozzie genuinely cared for him. Especially after moments like these, where Fizz was sure he was being a nuisance.
He finally smiled back. “Yeah. I can.”
He sighed. “I'm sorry, Oz. It's just… hard.”
“Don't apologize. It's your life, your thoughts. You choose how you want to handle it.”
He gently kissed Fizz's forehead. “I just wanna make sure you know that I'm here for you, Fizzy. You don't have to keep fighting alone. I'm here if you want me to be.”
Fizz chuckled softly. He gazed into Ozzie's eyes for a moment before throwing his arms around him, stretching them so that they wrapped around him multiple times. Ozzie was taken aback for a moment before Fizz pressed his head against his chest.
“Thank you, Ozzie. So much.”
Ozzie smiled and wrapped his arms around the tiny imp. “Anything for you, Fizzbubble.”
He kissed his head once more and Fizz smiled widely. He released his hold on Asmodeus' body and wrapped his arms around his neck.
“You know what sounds really good right now?”
Ozzie smiled knowingly. “Burgers?”
Fizz nodded eagerly. “Burgers!”
Ozzie sighed, getting up from the bed with Fizz still in one arm. “Fine. But only because you deserve a distraction. Plus, you're being extra cute right now.”
“Aww, stop it, Ozzie! I'm not even trying!”
“You sure? Because last I checked, you weren't nearly as cuddly as you are now.”
“Shut the fuck up, asshat! I'm still tired!”
“Oh, really? Maybe you're too tired for burgers then.”
“No way! I always have energy for burgers!”
Ozzie and Fizz laughed heartily as they walked down the corridor to the kitchen. The entire way, Fizz had his head pressed up against Ozzie's chest, his feathers softly brushing against his face. Thanks to Fizz being so close, he could now feel that Ozzie was also giving off heat.
But this time, it was a warm, welcoming kind of heat. The kind that Fizzarolli wanted to bask in forever.