Chapter Text
There was a common saying in the Underground.
Having a dream is like wiping your ass with gold toilet paper. No matter how great, it goes to shit in the end.
It was often said over a couple of pints of ale in order to put an end to the over-zealous ramblings of some pimple-faced brat, talking big about making it Upside.
Yet again, once the alcohol entered their bloodstream, grounders also loved to sing,
Like rats in the sewers, we find our way,
We carve our own path, come what may.
Slice us, cut us, leave us hollow,
We will start anew tomorrow.
…which, somewhat in contradiction to the first saying, carried with it an air of hope nonetheless.
In fact, grounders loved their aphorisms and Levi had heard enough of them to last him a lifetime, while working behind the counter of The Missus – the notorious brothel, smacked right in the middle of the main bustling marketplace in the Underground. It doubled as a tavern downstairs, full with drunken, lustful men, sometimes women – both grounders and upsiders, came here to indulge in depravities they couldn’t afford to be associated with above- eager to part with their coin clinking seductively in their pouches.
It was certainly an odd sight for a new visitor - stepping into an establishment of this kind, approaching the counter with the perfectly reasonable wish to get served a golden-hued ale by a fair, busty wench wielding a questionable reputation, and instead coming face-to face with a malnourished, raven-haired boy, sporting an undercut to keep the flees away and a piercing look radiating from a set of dull grey orbs that could send lesser men running back to where they came from.
They had to look down first, of course. For all his menacing disposition, the boy was quite short and was barely standing two heads over the counter.
It had certainly raised some eyebrows in the beginning, and it still did sometimes, but as time passed the regulars got used to Levi, even greeted him when he was on shift. And when he wasn’t serving drinks and wiping tables, he was helping out in the kitchen, bringing in and sorting out the supplies on delivery days or cleaning up the rooms upstairs for the next clients, which Levi hated the most. But if it meant additional coin, he certainly wasn’t going to complain to Madam. So he kept his mouth shut, gritted his teeth and did whatever he had to do.
To raise enough money. Get them citizenships in the Upside. And get her out of this shithole for good.
The year was 838, December 25th.
Levi turned 16 today. Like that meant a damn thing.
Some people could argue that it was a cause for celebration, after all he managed to endure a whole 16 years in a place ridden with disease, poverty, filth and crime, relatively unscathed. For all intents and purposes, those people were idiots.
For 16 years, each day was a battle of survival for him. It was waking up and not knowing whether he’d get to eat that day, or the next, or the one after. It was getting sick and not being able to afford medicine because it was too scarce, or the price on the black market was an impossible expense. It was watching over his back every waking second so that he wouldn’t end up with his pockets emptied and throat slit, lying face down in sewage water on the squalid streets. It was listening to the women’s screams from behind the paper-thin walls in the brothel, when a client decided to get a little too eager, forcing himself onto them.
It was cleaning the blood from his mother’s bruises, whenever she’d say no to them, or when he’d dare to intervene.
Levi halted that train of thought, jaw twitching with aggravation, as he absentmindedly cleaned a wooden tankard with a rag that had seen better days. It was quite a busy night tonight but he was barely registering the commotion.
“Oi, boy, fetch me another one, will ya?”, loud, slurred words and a sudden thud of a tankard meeting the counter surface snapped him back from his musings as he shot an irritated look at the balding, ginger-bearded man before him. An upsider, he gathered from his clothes. He became acutely aware of his surroundings again.
The dim, flickering oil lamps which cast feeble light across the worn wooden tables and uneven floorboards, the stale air that carried a mix of cheap watered-down ale, sweat, and the distant foul odour of the streets outside which seemed to permeate every fibre of his being.
The tavern's walls were adorned with faded tapestries, their once-vibrant colors now dulled by time and neglect. Darla, one of the youngest hostesses, was singing quite a vulgar but cheerful song in scanty clothing with gleeful audacity that seemed to amuse the patrons as they were laughing obscenely while tossing her coins. Some of the other hostesses were also entertaining their customers in a more private manner, nestled on their laps, whispering words in their ears in tantalizing intimacy.
Levi threw a reluctant glance towards the stairway in the corner that led upwards, to the rooms, knowing that his mother was most likely in one of them. They had an understanding with Madam that whenever Kuchel – or rather Olympia, as she was professionally known - was working, Levi would either be behind the counter in the tavern or busying himself somewhere else. It was a small mercy, but more than they could’ve hoped for at the first brothel with that disgusting rat of a man as the owner that nearly let her die. Still, while he had come to perceive prostitution as more or less a normal profession since he’d grown up in the environment, he always felt uncomfortable when looking at those damn stairs. Mostly because he never knew whether someone was hurting her at that exact moment.
Without a word, Levi grabbed the tankard and turned around to twist the tap of the oak cask behind him, pouring the liquid to the brim.
“3 coins”, he said levelly.
Out of nowhere, he felt a tug at the collar and the next second he was being abruptly propelled over the counter by two large hands twisting the fabric of his shirt under their grip.
“You tryina scam me, little rat?”, the man slurred angrily, “I know damn well that I paid 2 for the first one!”
“Get your dirty hands off me, trash”, Levi grunted as he tried to pry the man’s hands off him, but the grip was surprisingly tenacious. ”It’s 3 for a second one, I told you before, but s’pose your ears are full of shit.”
The man’s face distorted in an ugly grimace. “Watch your filthy mouth, runt!”
The slap reverberated through his body and made his head spin with dizziness. A mixture of surprise, humiliation and rapidly growing anger welled up inside him. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to kill the damn bastard, so he wrapped his hand around the first thing that came in sight, which happened to be a full bottle of expensive contraband ale under the counter.
Levi clenched his jaw and his eyes darkened. Kenny’s words echoed in his head,
Show them strength and they’ll fear you.
His knuckles whitened, ready to swing the bottle right at the fucker’s head---
“Mr. Doherty! What a pleasure it is to have your company here tonight!”, he heard the familiar honey-dripping voice before another hand came to cover his own, delicate but firm, strongly signalling him to reign in his impulses. Her little – and rather painful - squeeze also carried the connotation of or else that Levi didn’t miss. He relaxed his grip reluctantly, still staring daggers at the red-bearded prick in front of him.
Coward, Kenny chided.
“But what is this?”, Madam let out an exaggerated gasp that was intended to convey concern, approaching the man and lifting that same hand to gently caress his cheek, “Your face, my dear Mr. Doherty, does not convey the pleasure we aim to provide within these walls. We can’t have that! What, if I may ask, has caused you such reason for discomfort?”
Madam had perfected the upsiders’ speech years ago, when she discovered that words were as powerful as weapons and she could twist them to her liking to gain certain benefits.
Doherty huffed out an irritable breath, but Madam’s magic seemed to be working as his whole demeanour appeared to soften instantly.
“Runt here doesn’t know his place so I taught him a lesson”, his lips contorted in a grotesque manner at Levi, who gritted his teeth, “Thievin’ little rat, too. Wanted to charge me more for the second one.”
Madam was nodding understandingly, briefly glancing at Levi, glacial blue eyes warning him to stay put and let her handle it.
“Ah, is that right? I’m afraid Levi can be quite brash sometimes, but he was only following my orders. See, demand is higher than supply these days, my dear Mr. Doherty, and the Missus had to readjust to stay afloat and keep its client happy in these testing times.”
She handed him the ale with a flirtatious smile, leaned over and whispered, “Have this on the house as our very special client. Also,”, she raised her voice again, “what are you doing here with empty hands and a cold lap? Nina”, she signalled an auburn-haired girl who was serving a table, “Come here and make sure that Mr. Doherty has a pleasant night tonight”.
This turn of events had evidently taken the ginger man by surprise as he now rather dumbly scratched his head, as if undecided whether he still wanted to throw a fit or not. The moment Nina appeared by his side, however, seemed to clear up any remaining traces of hesitation.
Before she led him away, Doherty pointed maliciously at Levi. “The little rat better be more respectful next time, or we're gonna have a problem.”
Levi glared.
“I assure you, you don’t have to worry about him, Mr. Doherty. Please accept our sincere apologies once again. Levi”, her gaze was commanding as she turned towards him, “apologise”.
Like hell, he thought, his cheek still stinging from the slap. It was definitely gonna leave a mark for the next couple of days. But as he looked back at Madam, it became painfully evident that she wouldn’t let it go until he threw his last piece of dignity away.
His eyes narrowed to slits, unable to hide his disdain for the man, as he grunted out,
“Sorry.”
A smug smirk appeared on Doherty’s lips.
“If you put that filthy mouth of his to good use, you gonna get your money’s worth, trust me.”
He playfully slapped Nina’s derriere and threw a sloppy arm around her.
“C'mon, sweetheart, let's go have ourselves a good time now.”
Levi was seething in his spot. The moment Doherty’s attention averted away from them, Madam’s accommodating smile turned into a thin line, as she pressed her lips together and scowled at the boy.
“What’s gotten into you again, you troublesome boy! You know perfectly well that we can’t afford to shoo away clients just because they happen to be cocks. It is exactly the cocks that keep us from starving, especially now and especially the ones from the Upside! Don’t give me that look”, she remarked on his disgusted expression, “You know perfectly well what I mean.”
“It’s not my fault he didn’t hear me the first time ‘bout the price raise.”
“Don’t get smart with me, brat! It’s your responsibility to keep your temper under control and cater to their whims if you want to eat at the end of the day. Do you think you’re any different from my girls upstairs? Do you think your mother wants to be doing what she’s doing right now?” Levi cringed. “Of course not and you know that. But we don’t have the luxury of pride or silly things like that. I don’t want to see another outburst like this one, or I’ll be finding another replacement for your mother and you, you hear me? It’s enough that I’ve already made an exception for a brat like you, but the moment you prove to be more trouble than you’re worth, I’ll be re-evaluating that soft heart of mine. Am I clear, Levi?”
…
“Yeah.”
“Good. Now bugger off and clear that thick head of yours. I’ll have someone cover you. And I’m taking this out of your earnings, together with the pint I gave that fucker for free.”
“It wasn’t my f--”
“I said enough.”
Levi dropped his head in defeat.
Madam watched his slouched shoulders as the boy went out the back door, taking in the clothes that were hanging loosely on his skinny frame. She’d also noticed his hollow cheeks and sunken eyes that held a weariness far beyond his years. Better than what he first looked like when he came to her but still, on no account healthy. However, what concerned Madam the most was that ferocious glint in his eyes. It had replaced the constant sadness which was dwelling in them before and was also the cause of those frequent violent outbursts as of recent. She knew that the boy would need it if he was to survive below, but it bothered her all the same. It's that damned murderer’s fault, she thought. He’s trying to make him the same as him.
Madam Marcella let out a sigh.
“Brat”, she murmured not without affection. She’d never admit it, of course.
***
Levi kicked the trash barrel in the back alley which came close to toppling over. Why was there a trash barrel in the first place? Not like the whole streets weren’t covered in garbage.
He let out an exasperated sigh and ran bony fingers through his hair, leaning against the walls of the Missus. The air was feeling stale again, a result of the piss-poor work the upsiders responsible for the ventilation system were obviously doing.
Clear his head, what a joke. He’d heard that worked on the Upside, the fuckers having such things as wind, and breeze, and actual air that didn’t carry pollutants sticking to his lungs, but not here.
He recalled Madam’s words, about the money for the ale being deducted from his wage and cursed under his breath. And with the price for citizenship having been upped again, he didn’t see himself making that amount of money anytime soon.
“Damn it. We’re gonna die down here at this rate.”
The moment he said it, he caught a movement at the corner of his eye, right around the corner of the brothel. His body naturally switched to high alert, first thought crossing his mind was that the ginger fucker had followed him with a bone to pick, but he’d seemed to have his hands full with Nina at the moment. Levi instinctively reached for his pocket knife, hidden inside his left booth, holding it in a reverse grip as Kenny’d thought him.
It makes for a faster, cleaner cut. Whole lotta blood though.
Levi was already agitated. Last thing he wanted right now was having to deal with some scum that was making a half-arsed attempt at jumping him. On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly what he needed. Not to get robbed, of course. But to let off some steam after how shitty that night was turning out to be. You know – to clear his head.
So he pretended that he hadn’t seen anything and instead made it look like he was going back inside, still carefully monitoring the movements of the shadow that now seemed to be slightly peeking from behind the corner. Impatient. Levi watched as a hooded figure hastily looked around and then hurried towards where he was hiding, a blind spot behind the back door.
Idiot. Levi tightened the grip on his knife.
The moment the figure stepped over the threshold, Levi landed a hard kick to its abdomen, sending it flying through the air and landing on its back with a muffled thud.
Ah, so it wasn’t a shadow after all.
Levi moved fast. In an instant, he was already over the figure, pressing his knees into tights that seemed to belong to a man, in order to restrict his movements. His right hand grabbed the man’s left wrist and pinned it to the ground, while his left one held the knife to his throat.
“Fuck’s sake, would ya wait a DAMN MINUTE!”, the man – no - the boy grunted and Levi found himself looking at the face that the raised hood had uncovered, now shining with beads of sweat. His ash-blond hair was tousled in the scuffle, different strands jutting out in different directions, light-gray eyes shining with annoyance under furrowed eyebrows. The boy seemed to be around Levi’s age, perhaps a year or two younger.
“Why you followin’ me, shit-face?”, Levi hissed, pressing the blade further into his skin to make a point. “You have 10 seconds before I cut your throat.”
Make it 5, Kenny said in his ear.
“Whoa, whoa, man, calm down! I just--”, the boy fumbled, clearly taken aback, “I saw your rock n’ coin trick from earlier and I—agh! Ease off on that thing, will ya, I’m not gonna rat you out!”
“What, should I thank you for that? I sure as fuck am not givin’ you any of the catch.”
“I don’t want none! Not from you, anyway. I came to talk, I--I wanted to make an offer!”
Levi considered him for a moment.
The brat did look suspicious, although that meant little down there. Everybody looked suspicious in the Underground. Hell, Levi would have trouble trusting himself too. Still, trust could get you killed and he never let himself forget that.
“Tch.” He finally loosened his hold on the boy and stood back up, dusting off his clothes. “Whatever. Are you gonna talk soon, ‘cause I could’ve taken a shit by now.”
“What, no introductions first on anythin’?”, the boy asked, getting back on his feet as well. “Name’s Furlan. Furlan Church.” He gave a small smile, “Nice to meet ya.”
He raised his eyebrows at Levi expectantly.
“I’m not tellin’ you my damn name until you tell me what your deal is and what’s it got to do with me.”
“Straight to it then, huh? Alright, alright,” Furlan cleared his throat, “Like I said, I was mindin’ my own business today, not spying on you or anythin’, scouting the turf from the rooftops. Then I saw you on the streets when you bumped into that merchant cause that’s one of my go-to tricks too, you know… So, then I was expecting you to run for it, but you just kept walking. Man, I realised you’d switched his pouch for another only after he tried to pay for that fish with rocks ‘stead of coins! The face that idiot made, I’m tellin’ you, that was something special!”
Furlan let out a laugh. “Anyway, when I saw you do it, first thought that came to mind was that you’re gonna do great in my gang.”
“Your…gang.” Levi looked sceptical.
“Well, it’s not really mine, as it is more of a group effort, really”, Furlan gave a sheepish smile, “In fact, it’s four of us, me included. And so far we’ve had some pretty good catch too. The thing is, there’s a limited number of small targets here, in the Underground. And there’re also the rivalling gangs that have their own turfs they’re scouting… so it’s not like we could take them on, just the four of us, you know.”
“So what, you want me to join your gang to do what? Rob some small-time merchants or the occasional upsider and split the catch in five? What’s that gonna be at the end of the day, like couple of cents? Thanks but I’m gonna pass.”
“’Course not, didn’t you just hear what I said? If it’s more of us, we could expand our turf, we also recently got our hands on some ODM gear from a couple of drunk MP pricks--”
“Let me get this straight. You want me to start a turf war and get on the radar of the fuckin’ Military Police? All of that, with some idiots that I know fuck-all about? Do you have shit for brains, Falcon?”
“It’s Furlan, and I--”
“I don’t fuckin’ care! You know why? ‘Cause I don’t wanna deal with more shit in my life than I already have to. And I certainly don’t wanna get thrown in a fuckin’ prison by the fuckin’ MPs if shit hits the fan, ‘cause I’ve got people to take care of. So, fuck off, Furlan”, Levi spat out with vitriol, “As long as you don’t get in my way, we’re good. But take your offers somewhere else, got it?”
Levi shot the boy one last calculating look before he turned to leave. Where exactly he wasn’t sure, but he wanted to find someplace quiet. So much for clearing his head. It felt as if war drums were now banging inside of it.
He thought about going to his usual place, on the roof of that long-abandoned, decaying school building, when--
“I heard you, you know.” The boy’s voice was quitter now, softer.
“What?”, Levi looked over his shoulder, frowning.
“When you was talkin’ to yourself earlier. You said, at this rate, we’re gonna die here.”
Furlan sighed, shoulders slouched now. “I know how that feels. The desperation to get out, go up there,” he tipped back his head and his eyes gleamed with something Levi couldn’t immediately place. “My old man was tellin’ me about it, before he died, you know. My grandparents were upsiders before they lost all they had and were forced to move down ‘ere. So my dad would tell me stories. About playin’ in the grass, and runnin’ along streams, with actual movin’ water, could you imagine? He’d put me to sleep with stories about the sunlight and the stars, countless shinin’ dots in the sky which, he said, were really giant rocks that were very far away. So I would laugh and not believe him.” Furlan shook his head, smiling fondly at the memory.
Levi stood there listening, trying to figure him out.
“But most of all, he’d talk about freedom. When I asked him what he meant, he told me he missed the freedom of bein’ human, you know. Not thinkin’ about survival every damn second of his life, wonderin’ whether some disease, starvation or a damn dislodged rock falling from ceiling would kill him first. And I didn’t get it. I still don’t. But he wished for me to feel it one day. You’d understand then, he said.” Furlan’s face fell at his next words. “That was two days before he got stabbed, walkin’ back home from the reserves. I never even found who did it. The damn blade was stickin’ out of his back, I--”
His voice cut off. Heavy silence fell over the two boys but Levi somehow felt he shouldn’t be the one disrupting it first.
“I don’t wanna die here, is what I mean.” The sudden resolve in Furlan’s voice surprised Levi. “You said you had people to take care of. You wanna make Upside, right? Well, I guess we have somethin’ in common then. So let me help you do that, whaddya say?”
Levi took a couple of moments before he gave his answer.
“Levi.”
“Huh?”
“You asked what my name was. It’s Levi.”
Furlan raised his eyebrows, as if taken aback by the turn of events. Then he let out a soft laugh.
“Well, nice to meet ya, Levi.”
“Whatever”, was all Levi said as the corners of his mouth twitched.
***
It was already quite late into the night when Levi got back to the brothel. An upsider wouldn’t know the difference, of course, as there was neither sunlight, nor skies, to serve as an indicator. For grounders, however, it was innate. The city was quiet, sleeping, safe for the occasional distant moan or cry of someone suffering their own fate. Levi got through the back door with light steps, barely making any sound at all. He’d lost track of time, laying on that rooftop and going over that first meeting with Furlan. They’d agreed to meet again tomorrow, this time at his hiding place in order to meet the rest of his gang. And while Levi didn’t entirely rule out the possibility of this all being some sort of a set up, he had agreed to it.
He suddenly felt the weight of his eyelids, fatigue taking over his body and luring him to sleep. He knew he had room-cleaning duty first thing in the morning and he scrunched up his nose at the thought. As he passed the kitchens and headed straight to the door at the end of the corridor, he wondered whether his mother was still awake. While most of the girls slept in their “work rooms”- as was also the case for them at the first brothel, all the way in the east end - Madam had conceded them a small room at the Missus, which had initially been an attic. There weren’t any beds inside or anything, just a couple of worn-out futons with blankets and pillows, a dusty shelf and a small table, but it was more than enough for Levi, who’d spent most of his formative years locked in a cupboard in the same room where Kuchel was “working”.
He cautiously pushed the door open, trying to be as quiet as possible. But the damn hinges creaked. He cursed.
“Levi?”, a drowsy voice called from the darkness of the room.
She had always been a light sleeper, like himself.
He looked down at the small figure that stirred on the floor, a slender hand pushing away a black strand of hair from a pale face.
“It’s me.”
His mother let out a relieved sigh.
“Thank the Walls. I was worried something might have happened. Where were you?”
“Just getting some air. Go back to sleep, Ma.” He took off his dirty boots and left them at the door. So Madam hadn’t told her about the little incident from earlier.
“Wait”, Kuchel carefully pushed aside her blanket, rose from the floor and made her way to the nearby table where she lit up the candle on top. The small flame bloomed to life, casting a warm radiance that pushed back the shadows in the room and revealed the contours of her face. Levi could make out her delicate features and he was thankful that he didn’t notice any new bruises on her face. She had the weary look that never seemed to completely leave her, but her eyes carried the warmth of the flame reflected in her eyes.
She then knelt beside her futon and took out something from under her pillow.
“Come here”, she patted the place beside her and he obliged. Only when she stretched her arms out towards him did he see the small black box in her hands.
“Happy birthday, love”, she smiled softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you earlier.”
“What--”, he muttered and before he knew it, he was holding the box in his hands.
“Go on, open it”, his mother prompted with excitement and so he did. When he lifted the top, he could recognize the outline of the garment immediately. It was an elegant white linen cravat. The same as the one from the story she’d read him as a child, from the tattered book she’d found discarded on the streets. It talked about a distinguished gentleman who had escaped poverty and risen to power due to his strength, valor and determination, selflessly helping the downtrodden. And since Levi couldn’t read neither then nor now, he’d only fixated on the peculiar cloth around the drawn man’s neck and its purpose, finding it the most fascinating thing out of all.
Levi’s eyes widened for a second before his face settled in a scowl.
“You’ve wasted money on this?”
Kuchel’s face fell.
“You don’t like it?”
“No, I--”, Levi always had trouble with finding the right words, so he decided to look for them on the floor instead, “We shouldn’t be spending money on such things, Ma. We’re barely scraping by as it is. I’ll—I’ll return it tomorrow.”
“Levi”, he could feel her gentle touch under his chin as she tilted his head upwards, “Look at me.”
As his eyes met hers, he could read the resolution in them, mixed with a trace of sadness.
"Listen to me. I’ve given you a cruel life. No, don’t argue, I know that. Every single day I wonder whether I’ve made the right choice by coming to this forsaken place, and every single night I go to sleep without the answer. I see what it’s doing to you, Levi. And Kenny, what he’s trying to do, that damned bastard, he’s gone completely mad. I shudder to think what he might’ve turned you into had I not come back. But I want my boy to have something that's more than just survival. I want you to have a piece of beauty, a piece of elegance, to carry with you as a reminder that we're more than the pain life throws at us. That there is hope for a better future for us. So, please", she reached out and softly caressed his cheek, “Keep it.”
The candle flame flickered, making the shadows in the room dance briefly.
Levi’s expression suggested that he was weighing something carefully in his mind.
Whenever he was with his mother, Kenny’s voice was stubbornly silent.
Finally, he let out a deep sigh and his eyes softened as he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead.
“Alright.” He gave her a small smile as he took the box, “ And I…like it. A lot.”
Kuchel looked relieved, returning the smile. He noticed how her eyes creased at the corners.
“You’re growing up too fast.”
“Could be taller”, he quipped.
“You’re perfect”, she ruffled his hair affectionately.
“Now you’re just plain lyin’.”
She laughed quietly and he never wanted her to stop.
“Alright”, he took the box with him as he stood up and made his way towards his corner of the room, meanwhile snuffing out the candle’s light by squeezing the wick between his thumb and forefinger.
“Now get some sleep, Ma.”
As Levi laid there, in complete darkness, drifting between wake and sleep, an image formed in his mind. An image of himself dressed as the drawing from the book, in a nice clean suit and a top hat, the cravat tucked in his shirt, completing the look. He walked in the sunlight, not worriefd about food or money, just enjoying the outside and admiring the sky.
But when he tried to imagine what the sky would look like, it was only the cavern’s ceiling that took shape in Levi’s dreams.