Chapter Text
Nihil Habens
Severus' onyx eyes were cold and hard, any warmth they had ever held for Lily gone as he looked up from the parchment he had snatched from her hands.
"Now it all makes sense." The growl that accompanied the words caused Lily to take a step back, her eyes wide as Severus lifted the now folded map and pointed to the name on it; Marauders Map. "This is how they have always been able to find me, knowing exactly when I was alone so they could ambush me."
"Sev –" But Lily didn't get to finish the sentence.
"Don't you Sev me now!" Even though his voice was soft, it felt like he was yelling at her. "When I told you my suspicion that they were following me, tracking me somehow, you told me I was being paranoid... But you knew, didn't you, Lily? You knew all along." Every soft word felt like a sword cutting through her, and at that moment, Lily would have preferred it if he had just yelled at her.
It was then that they both realised how much had changed since last year. And Severus was sure that those changes had only happened thanks to a parting prank by the Marauders at the end of fifth year.
The sun had set an hour ago and he was beginning to regret leaving his cloak in his dormitory. Even though it was the beginning of summer, the wind in the Scottish Highlands was still harsh, and Hogwarts wasn't exempt from that. On the other hand, McKinnon had told him that Lily wanted to meet him at sunset, not a moment later. After his disastrous attempt at an apology, Severus almost feared that it was really over. His best friend, his only friend, gone for good. He should have known that Lily would come around eventually and give him another chance, she wouldn’t give up on him because of a word uttered in anger and hurt.
Knowing that he had been given another chance, he was in a bit of a hurry to shower and put on some fresh clothes. Clothes that were a bit too short for him, but more presentable than anything else he had in his trunk. He was sure he'd left his cloak on his bed, but somehow it was gone and he couldn't waste time looking for it. Lily could be gone if he was late, his chance of forgiveness ruined by a missing cloak.
But so far he hadn't seen a trace of Lily, and that was so unlike her. Even when they had argued in the past, she had always been punctual. But perhaps her Gryffindor friends are holding her back? Maybe they were trying to talk her out of talking to him again. He wouldn't be surprised.
"Look who we have here!" The sound of James Potter's voice made him turn in a quick movement.
"Looks like old Snivelly was waiting for someone..." Sirius Black said as he stepped next to Potter, and the smile on his lips worried Severus. It was the smile of a predator, one who was sure that his prey had already been lost because he had come hunting in a pack and just wanted to torment them until he was bored.
"Who would want to meet such a greasy dungeon snake?" Peter Pettigrew piped up and Severus felt his blood boil. When the boy was alone, he didn't dare look up from his feet, but as soon as Potter and Black were on his side, he thought he was a big bad guy that everyone should fear.
"Potter..." None of this was good and instinctively Severus moved his hand closer to his wand.
"It's not nice to greet only one person, Snivellus." The boy with the dishevelled hair and bespectacled face replied. A sneer played on his lips.
"Just as it's not nice to snoop on other people..." Severus drawled as he raised one of his eyebrows.
"But why, Snivelly, you did accept our invitation." A loud laugh followed Black's words and Severus' eyes widened in shock.
It was then that he understood that Lily hadn't wanted to meet him. That McKinnon had only set him up for the marauders.To give them one last chance to torment him before they all left Hogwarts tomorrow for the summer holidays. How stupid had he been to trust that girl?!
The only hope Severus had at that moment was to take advantage of the moment of surprise and perhaps knock out at least one of them, which would make the duel a little more fair than it usually was.
"You set me up..." He had slowly wrapped his fingers around the handle of his wand. "I imagine McKinnon was more than happy to help with your little plan, wasn't she?"
"Oh yes, Marlene was very excited when we told her of our plan." Potter said with an arrogant smirk.
"I think anything that keeps you away from Evans makes Marlene a very happy and excited girl." Black added with one of his roaring laughs.
That was the moment Severus had been waiting for, immediately drawing his wand and shouting "Stupefy!" in an attempt to knock Black out before the Marauders could attack him.
"Protego!" It was Pettigrew who shouted the word, wand drawn, and to Severus' surprise the boy had actually been able to block his spell.
"Expelliarmus!" That little moment of surprise from Severus had been enough for Potter to draw his wand and use his favourite spell to disarm Severus.
It was the feeling of his wand slipping from his grasp that made Severus' eyes widen in shock, knowing that losing his wand was the worst thing that could have happened, especially so quickly.
"Incarcerous!" Black shouted directly and Severus felt the ropes that had appeared wrapping tightly around his body, binding his arms and legs so that he was unable to move. Even though the ropes had appeared out of thin air, they hit his body with such force that he quickly lost his balance and fell face first to the ground. A cracking sound was heard and as soon as he felt the pain, Severus knew his nose was broken again.
"Tell me, Snivelly..." Severus felt a boot hit his ribs before being shoved underneath him, turning him over so that he was looking up at the sky, only for the sky to soon turn into brown eyes glittering with amusement. "Did you really think Evans would forgive you?"
"I..." Severus tried to say, but started to cough as the blood from his nose ran down his throat.
"You really did, didn't you?" Potter laughed in his face and shook his head. "That's why you were so easily persuaded to come here, you thought she would forgive you and all would be well between the two of you." Potter had a grin on his face, but within a second it turned into a scowl and Severus felt a boot hit his ribs again.
"As if she would waste her time with you again, Snivellus." Black laughed loudly. "Not even your kicked puppy act will fool her now, you showed your true colours after enough prodding." There was a manic gleam in the Gryffindor's grey eyes.
"You –" Severus said, only to be kicked in the ribs again.
"Shut up, you slimy snake!" This time it was Pettigrew who had kicked and shouted at him, a stupid grin on his lips as he felt strong with the two other Gryffindors at his side and Severus pinned to the ground.
"Gentlemen, I think good old Snivelly got the message we were trying to send him." Potter spoke again and Severus' eyes moved to the boy, noting the smirk on his lips. "I think it's time to make sure our dear Evans isn't bothered by that greasy git over the summer."
"What –" But once again Severus was unable to finish his sentence as he was hit by a stunning spell from Potter and the world around him went black.
When Severus awoke, the sun had set and the moon was the only source of light. He wasn't lying on the ground anymore, but the ropes still prevented him from moving any of his limbs. And there was something pressing against his back, something rough and coarse, digging into his skin whenever he tried to move.
His eyes widened in shock as he realised that the Hogwarts uniform was supposed to protect his skin from the poking and scraping. Anticipating the worst, he actually looked down and saw that his worst fear was true. A stream of curses escaped his lips as he realised that the marauders had indeed stripped him completely before tying him to the tree. His clothes lay further away in a heap, carelessly cast away so that their mere sight could mock him.
Knowing that he was naked didn't help him regain control of his mind. But he had to push his situation to the back of his mind so that he could actually think of a solution; the chance of being found by anyone at this hour was rather unlikely. If it had been in the middle of term, there would have been students out and about, but on the last night? Most students would be in their common rooms, spending time with friends they probably wouldn't see during the summer; or making plans to meet up with those friends during the holidays.
Hagrid might still be on the grounds, but Severus knew that the friendly half giant was most likely somewhere near his hut or deeper in the woods with his dog.
And that left Severus with only one chance: himself.
It had been a few months ago that he had stumbled across a book on wandless magic in the library at Hogwarts. Since it wasn't in the Restricted Section, he had no problem borrowing it from Madam Pince.
The subject had been so interesting to him that he had read the whole book twice in a single week. In his first year, it had already become a habit for him to take notes as he read, jotting down his own thoughts on the content of the text, helping him to create a practice routine for himself.
Wandless magic required a lot of concentration, and the book had also mentioned Occlumency as a way to better focus in hectic situations, such as an unexpected attack from other wizards.
Getting his hands on a book that focused on Occlumency had been much harder. Occlumency, like Legilimency, was considered to be magic of the mind and therefore a very risky branch of magic. Not many witches and wizards had mastered it, and – according to the book he had finally gotten his hands on – some had even lost their minds trying to master it.
Severus had easily understood the basics of Occlumency, but he was far from mastering it. Still, he had begun to practise wandless magic as well. Perhaps it was lucky for him that the book had recommended that he start practising with the Accio spell, and had specifically recommended that he should try to summon his own wand.
The book explained that the natural connection between wand and wizard would be helpful in the first attempts at wandless magic. The wand was an extension of the wizard, a tool to help him focus and control his magic, and now the wizard had to learn to control his magic without that tool.
According to the book, this special connection would work like a line between the wand and the wizard, helping to focus the magic and send it in a certain direction.
He had practised for weeks before his wand had finally begun to at least twitch when he tried to summon it; and it was then that Severus had first felt the magic rush through his body before escaping through his hand. It had been a feeling he couldn't put into words, it had been special and somehow... freeing. As if the chains around his magic were slowly being loosened.
It motivated him to keep going and he could see the progress he was making, but so far he had never been able to summon his wand; yet it would be his only option to free himself from the ropes that had been tied around him.
With a sigh he began to search, his eyes roaming over the grass, but the darkness of the night certainly didn't make it any easier to find a black wand. It took him a few minutes to spot the moonlight reflecting off a dark surface under a bush. Fortunately, he had polished his wand earlier, making sure his most prized possession was in perfect condition.
"Accio wand." Severus whispered, opening the palm of his hand. He wasn't shocked when nothing happened, he had always had to say it out loud and sometimes more than once, so he wasn't going to let this stop him.
Once again he tried to summon his wand, this time his voice louder and stronger than before, his eyes fixed on his wand as he opened his hand and felt a little of his magic escape towards his wand; but once again nothing happened at all.
After more than a dozen attempts, Severus' patience was wearing thin and sweat began to drip down his forehead. As well as he had been able to put his current situation out of his mind, he was now beginning to fear that he might have to spend the night out here, tied to a tree with no way of defending himself.
Fear and shame began to rise again and were soon joined by anger; anger at Potter and his cronies, at the teachers who had always let them off with a slap on the wrist and a few not-so-scolding words. His thoughts briefly drifted to the Headmaster, how he had sat in the old man's office and been told that his life was basically worth nothing – that it was more important to the Headmaster that no one found out about Lupin, that Lupin would be able to finish his education here.
Severus felt his magic begin to pulsate within him; how the air began to change as his magic reached out from his body with a new, unknown power as his eyes snapped back to his wand.
"ACCIO WAND!" He shouted, and it felt as if his magic exploded from his hand as soon as he opened it, his wand lifting off the ground and shooting towards his hand with unexpected speed and force. Instinctively, he had wrapped his fingers around the cool wood as soon as his wand touched his hand and then it happened...
A loud noise was heard and Severus felt as if he couldn't breathe, it seemed as if everything around him was being pushed away, even the air as the grass bent away from him for a few seconds before everything returned to normal and Severus could breathe again.
He rolled his wand in his hand as he took a few deep breaths, something felt strange, but Severus put it down to the amount of magic his anger had unleashed when he tried to summon his wand a moment ago.
When he got his breathing back under control, he tried to cut the ropes with his wand; it was a simple spell that shouldn't be a problem even for a first year; but somehow Severus couldn't do it. No matter how many times he tried, nothing happened to the ropes that still tied him to the tree.
"What happened here?" Someone asked suddenly, breathing a little faster, as if they were running towards the tree he was tied to.
"It sounded like something exploded!" Another voice added, as Severus could hear the footsteps getting louder, a sign that people were getting closer to him.
"Stop! Stay away! Don't come any closer!" He wanted to sound angry, to frighten whoever was coming his way, but even to himself his voice sounded desperate and weak, afraid of anyone approaching.
The sound of feet hitting the ground stopped quite close to his position and Severus wished the ground would just swallow him alive. As much as he had hoped that someone would find him, it also meant that whoever found him would see him naked.
He could clearly hear the gasp from one of the two people who had arrived – the sight of his naked body had probably shocked them, his pale skin stretching over his bones, his rib cage visible even after months at Hogwarts, and scars that were usually hidden by clothing.
"Severus?" A soft and distinctly female voice asked him. It sounded as if the person had just recognised him.
"Who else would it be?" He muttered and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face, forming a shield that hopefully hid the embarrassed blush that was turning his cheeks red. Once again he had been unable to defend himself and was embarrassed.
"Then I know who caused this." It was a low murmur that came from the girl who had recognised him. A moment later he felt the ropes around him loosen and he slipped to the floor, finally able to move again.
"Are you all right?" The other girl asked him in a soft and caring tone that finally caused Severus to look up.
His eyes looked into blue ones – not a normal blue, they actually reminded him of the colour cyan, a clear and strong blue. The girl's hair was almost the same shade as her eyes, the ring on her left nostril and lower lip was an odd sight in the wizarding community, but Severus knew that it was actually quite common in the Muggle punk scene that was very active in London.
All of this made the young woman stand out from the rest of the Hogwarts crowd, and Severus knew immediately who he was dealing with – although he couldn't remember ever seeing her with the slightly flushed cheeks that made her look as if she was blushing.
"Ollivander." He muttered with a nod to his fellow Slytherin before his eyes finally fell on the young woman who had accompanied her.
The other girl had looked down – perhaps not wanting to see his pitiful sight – but as soon as she looked up, he found himself looking into blue eyes again. Not the same blue as before, this one was darker, somehow soothing and inviting to drown in its depth. The girl's auburn hair was darker than Lily's.
"Burke." Even though the girl was a Ravenclaw, every Slytherin knew her, and the fact that she was basically attached to Ollivander's hip was only half the reason. The other half was that her father was one of the owners of Borgin and Burkes.
"Are you all right, Severus?" The girl asked him with a gentle smile on her full lips.
"I..." He forced his eyes away from hers and looked down, using his hair as a shield once more. "I'm fine." Mumbling after a moment.
"But your wand isn't." Ollivander said suddenly. His head jerked up, his dark eyes wide with shock as he looked into hers.
"My wand?" He asked her in a worried tone.
"You should come to my grandfather's shop during the summer holidays and let him look at it." The blue-haired girl said with a small smile. "I'm sure he will fix it for you." The smile remained on her lips, although it seemed as if she had to fight herself not to look down again.
Although it was probably meant to be reassuring, it felt like pity for Severus, and just then he remembered that he was standing naked in front of two girls – two girls who were clearly fighting an inner battle to look into his eyes instead of down, and who were blushing.
"I'll take care of it." Was all Severus said before he turned and tried to gather his clothes in such a hurry that he almost stumbled and fell to the ground. Without another word or look, he ran off, leaving the two girls standing by the tree. In his haste to get away, he didn't hear their gasps, didn't see them put their hands over their mouths and gulp at the sight of his bare back; covered in so many scars that it was hard to find an inch of healthy, undamaged skin.