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After having been friends with Sodapop since they were young boys, working the same job together, and going out anywhere that girls might be with him, Steve knew well that Soda was quite a dreamboat. He was always one smile away from having any girl that looked his way fall for him. He was already desensitized to how other people reacted to his best friends good looks (although he doesn’t think he’ll ever be desensitized to the good looks themselves), so it wasn’t much of an issue for him when they officially got together. If anything, it bothered him a whole lot less now that they were together and he knew that he actually did have Soda’s attention. In addition, he just wasn’t one to care- I mean, he’s the one that got himself a fine boyfriend, he couldn’t expect anything less.
Sodapop also knew that he had an attractive boyfriend. He knew that Steve felt as though Sodapop was the better looking of the two, but Soda couldn’t agree less. As he got older, he felt a bit jealous of Steve. It’s not the he was less attractive, he was just a different kind of attractive. Soda was a looker, a pretty-boy, a guy that teenage girls and maybe sad, mid-life crisis ladies would fawn over. He was a great guy to be around, and Steve knew for a fact he made a great boyfriend, but nobody cared much about that when he was such a pretty thing to see. Steve, however, had a deeper sort of attractiveness. He wasn’t pretty, or cute, he was handsome. He was rugged and dominant, the type of guy that makes you want to get to know him better, that makes you feel special when you get close to him. He had his fair share of girls after him, and Soda noted that they all seemed to care about him as a person more than the girls that chased Soda.
On top of all this, Soda was certainly the jealous type. Unlike Steve, just ‘cause he knew he was dating a fine man didn’t mean he took real kind to girls being all over said man. When he overheard girls flirting with him over the counter, Soda would always impatiently stalk up and remind Steve of some benign task that he forgot to finish (or make one up) and maybe stop for a conversation that happened to last approximately however long it takes to check a person out and for them to leave the store.
Steve certainly wasn’t oblivious to that, in fact, sometimes he’d flirt back just to see how riled Soda could get. Maybe he was an asshole, but it was certainly funny (and a bit of a turn-on) to see Soda get so incredibly bothered. Sometimes (quite often) it’d be so obvious that even the girls talking to Steve would catch the drift, and sometimes that was Soda’s objective.
One time Steve certainly wouldn’t forget was when two broads came in, both dressed up real nice with summer dresses, necklaces, and hair bows. Steve nodded their way and gave them his typical, half-assed “afternoon, ladies” as they walked through the door.
“Good afternoon to you, sir,” the black-haired girl said, sending him a wink. He chuckled and smiled at her- really just trying to be nice. They two girls looked at each other, cheeks red with bitten-back smiles, and began to whisper as they walked through the aisles, only stopping to giggle and gasp occasionally.
“This is all we got here,” the second girl, who had dirty blond hair, said as she lumped some snacks and two colas onto the counter.
“What’s your name?” the blonde girl asked as Steve rang their items up.
“Steve, what about you two dolls- got names, too?” he replied smoothly, winking at them.
They both blushed, “I’m Jen, and this is Kim” the blonde one, Jen, said as she motioned toward her friend, Kim.
“I’ve a question for you,” Jen stated as she handed Steve her money, “are we the first customers in here you’ve had for a while?”
At this moment, Soda walked in through the door, walking straight toward the back to get a refrigerated drink until he heard the two girls and stopped dead, trying to hear the conversation. Steve, of course, noticed this and decided it was time to have a little fun with it.
“Yeah, it’s pretty lonely in here all by myself.”
“That’s a shame that your girlfriend don’t come over here and keep you company. I mean, you do have a girlfriend, right?” Jen gave Steve doe eyes, just as Kim stepped up and added to the topic.
“No offense, but I’d have a hard time believin’ you didn’t have a girlfriend.”
Without giving Steve a chance to answer, Soda paced down the aisle he was listening from and gave the two girls the rudest smile Steve’s ever seen adorn his boyfriend’s face, “sorry to interrupt your guys’ important conversation but uh-” he turned to Steve, who only gave him a knowing smirk and nodded his chin to signal Soda to continue, “the boss told us to wipe down the windows when we got the chance and I’m working, but you look pretty available to me.” Soda crossed his arms and refused to break his on-going glare.
“Well that ain’t stopping me from holding a conversation, now is it, boss?” Steve asked innocently, not missing the way that Soda’s jaw tightened and his eyebrows furrowed.
“Actually, that’s just fine, me ‘n Jen were just leaving anyhow.” Kim said. Both her and Jen gave Soda weird, obvious glances as they walked out the door.
“What the shit was that?” Soda snapped, his arms flinging out, palms facing the ceiling, in a classic “are you serious?” pose.
“I was just entertaining a customer, what was I ‘posed to say - ‘fuck off’, ‘ya’ll are buggin’’? I ain’t tryna get fired. I was doing my job, you were abandoning your task to storm over, chew me out, and scare off some customers with your jealous fit.” Steve stated matter-of-factly as he slowly inched toward his boyfriend. Soda turned red as the embarrassment settled in and he pursed his lips.
“Well you didn’t have to engage so much,” Soda finished with a huff, staring down at the counter.
Steve got up real close to Soda before responding in a near-whisper, “‘course I did, how else could I get you all in a lather?”
Sodapop wanted to be pissed off again, but he couldn’t ignore his stomach churning in arousal at Steve’s- well- everything… that asshole knew what he was doing. On a completely irrelevant note, there certainly was nothing wrong with them taking an impromptu break in the bathroom at the same time when it was such a slow day.
Of course, that wasn’t gonna be the last time Steve would rile Soda up- it was only so often he got to do so. Besides, he felt like he earned it after having to put up with all the attention Soda got from girls on the regular.
Sodapop had been working the register inside while Steve was working a car that seemed like it needed to be in shop for another day or two. The business was slow, as it usually was during the hotter week-days of the summer, and he hadn’t seen a single customer in over two hours. That wasn’t until he saw Jen and Kim coming back in from the door that led to the lot. They both, very obviously, avoided Sodapop’s gaze. He could hear their stifled laughter and whispers from where he stood. All he needed to completely trip out was hearing the phrase “got his number”. He couldn’t hear the context of it all, he only heard that bit because of how loudly they spoke it with excitement. He could connect the dots of them glancing back towards the door that led to Steve, their cheesing grins, and the slip of phrase he managed to hear, which was also jumbled together with other flirtatious implications in their few hearable words.
Remembering the embarrassment from before, Soda tried to keep his temper as he checked them out. He held a smile and asked them if they had any car troubles since they were out in the lot. They only shrugged and mumbled ‘no’, which didn’t help the situation. He clenched his jaw, and maybe shut the register to roughly, before turning around and quickly walking out to the lot, which sent a clear signal to the girls that they should probably leave.
When Soda got out there he could see why the girls felt the need to stop and socialize. Steve was under the car, shirtless, glistening in sweat and oil, and somehow all that just made his jeans and boots look a whole lot better. However, Soda had plenty experience in not letting the look of Steve working under cars get him distracted.
“Steve.” Soda stood above him, expecting him to pull out from under the car.
“‘M real busy right now, Soda, hold on.”
“Steve, I ain’t playin’, let me talk to you.” Soda said sternly, “‘sides, you really shouldn’t be actin’ like that with your legs splayed and in perfect position for your dick to be kicked.”
This earned a reaction, as Steve came flying out from under the car and looked up at Soda, “alright, alright. What's got you in a tizz?”
Soda stepped one leg over Steve and sat down right on the older boys hips. Steve’s eyes widened a bit as he frantically looked around the parking lot, only to look back at Soda just to see his ticked off expression still hadn’t faded.
“Did you see Kim and Jen in the lot just a few minutes ago?” Soda crossed his arms and glared own stare with his unwavering death stare.
“Yeah they just walked through, why d'ya ask?”
“Were y’all talkin’?” Soda asked, trying to ignore Steve carefully place his hands on Soda’s hips and the butterflies it gave him.
“They stopped and chatted for a bit. I didn’t even leave under my project here, just kept it a dry conversation until they left.”
“Your last conversation with 'em wasn’t that dry.” Soda saying this made a small grin appear on Steve’s face as he mentally recalled how riled up he’d managed to get his boyfriend.
“Yeah, well, it was this time. You know I was only teasing you last time, if y’ain’t around then I got no point entertaining some broad.”
“Well then why were they walking there talking about something like getting a number? Did you give them a number?” Even before he spoke, Soda was already starting to doubt his own argument. He only realized now that they could’ve been saying “I wish I got his number”, “you should’ve got his number”, or something similarly reasonable. Besides that, it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the hands placed on his hips, brushing fingers under the hem of his shirt. More-so than that, it was nearly impossible to ignore the hard-on he could feel his boyfriend getting right underneath him.
“Why do I have a feeling you’ve already answered your own question? Soda, I’ve got myself the biggest catch in Tulsa, Oklahoma and I’d be a dunce to wanna sabotage that. Besides, I probably already told you this before, but I physically cannot see myself looking at anybody else the way I ever looked at you. I don’t know what those girls are on about, but I wouldn’t do that, even just to tick you off, and if it makes you feel better, the next time I see those girls in here I’ll make sure to turn them away as quick as possible… without getting fired. I’m all yours baby.”
It was definitely already hot enough outside to feel the heat, but somehow it managed to feel hotter. Soda could feel himself growing red and- well- growing in other places. All the sudden he became hyper aware of how in-reach Steve was, and how incredibly hot he looked underneath him. Very quickly, soda’s entire body ignited with lust and he didn’t think he could find it in him to get up and take Steve to the bathroom or somewhere similarly private.
Soda’s hands traveled up his boyfriends sweat-covered abdomen- maybe he should’ve found that a little gross, but it only served to turn him on. He slowly start to grind his hips down onto Steve’s as he lowered himself down to kiss him. He moaned desperately into the kiss as Steve grabbed his ass and pressed him further down into the older boy's groin.
This was all cut real short by the sound of a distant “what the fuck?” coming from the entrance on the lot. Soda flew off Steve so fast he couldn’t even recall how he did it and Steve shot straight up, head flinging towards the sound of the voice. The entrance was just barely out of sight as they saw only a glimpse of a person quickly rushing away.
Neither Steve nor Sodapop could move for what was only about a minute, but felt like half an hour. They didn’t know what they were expecting to happen- that mystery person could’ve come back with a gun to shoot them, a gang to jump them, or came storming back through the entrance to jump the two of them single-handedly. Either way, they both felt sick to their stomachs as they paled.
“Did that- did that voice sound familiar or I’m just imagining things?” Soda’s voice was shaky, which matched the state of his body.
“I- I don’t know… wasn’t paying enough attention.”
“Fuck. wha' do we do?”
The two boys found that all they had really left to do about the situation was finish their shift and hope that nothing comes of it, though neither of them had much hope for that. They barely spoke to each other the whole time, not being able to find any words to describe the heavy feeling that set over them. The store had never been so clean, so well set-up, so prepared for the next day, the cars in the lot had never been worked on so diligently, the tools had never been so organized, because the two had never been so motivated to try and work so hard they cant feel themselves shaking, losing it, losing their breath. Maybe they could end their shift so exhausted and distracted that they don’t have the energy to be anxious over what had happened earlier.
They didn’t need to exchange words to understand how the other felt: these last few hours may be all they have left before their lives are completely ruined. If word got out (which news like this would spread quickly), then the whole town would hate them. Sodapop might lose his brothers, in multiple ways; they could completely disown him, and him and Ponyboy could be taken from Darry. He tried not to think of that. Steve knew his dad would never want to see him again, that is if his dad let him leave alive. He’d heard the proud stories from his father of beating poor homosexuals to near death.
When it was time to get off the clock, Steve brought Soda over to the side of the DX, out of sight from anyone who would pull in. Before Steve could say anything, Soda began to break down sobbing.
“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. Everything could be over Steve- it could be over a week from now or our lives could already be over right now. We’ll go home and somebody will already be waiting to take me ‘n Pony away- and- and you’ll be locked out of your house or your dad will get ya’, I should’ve just stayed inside ‘n-”
Steve pressed his thumb against Soda’s lips, causing Soda to stop his sentence as he continued to sob and gasp for short breaths.
“This ain’t your fault Soda. We both have been real stupid about this. We know that we’re different, we know what people think of- of people like us. We’ve been reckless and it was only a matter of time until this happened. This ain’t on you.” Steve’s resolve weakened as he finished his sentence. He wrapped Soda up in a deep hug, with an unshakable fear that it really might be the last time he would be able to. Soda reciprocated by wrapping his arms tight around Steve’s shoulders, burying his face as deep as he could into the crook of the older boy’s neck.
They both silently tried to rationalize their feelings, but it was all to new to them- from loving each other to fearing the world because of it. Maybe with a bit more experience they’d be able to express how it was unfair. Ultimately, that’s what Steve would’ve said could he have found the words- it wasn’t Soda’s fault, or his, it was the fault of the world they were born into. They loved each other and it never felt wrong, never felt disgusting, never felt sinful, never felt different or abnormal, so why did they have to miss out on the teenage dream of holding hands and kissing in the back of a drive-in and milkshake dates and falling in love without fearing the worst?
The drive home was tense. Steve drove slow, went wrong directions, zoned out and missed exits and turns. Soda didn’t correct him; in fact, he was too dissociated to notice it himself. They held each others hands and watched the road move towards and behind them, fearing the worst but unable to think of a thing.
After parking in front of the Curtis’ house, they both continued to sit in silence for a minute.
“Soda… I know we’ve been dancing around this phrase, but I want you to know that I love you. I know it ain’t tuff to go all sappy on ya’ right now, but I love you,” Steve took a shaky breath, trying to hold backs tears, “whatever happens, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Steve. I love you so much. You mean the world to me. I wish I was as much of a poet as my kid brother, ‘cause then I might have the right words to tell you how much I love you.”
Steve squeezed his hand and returned Soda’s weak smile. They would’ve regularly gave a glance around the neighborhood before stealing a quick kiss, and there was no other time where they craved it as much, but there was a mutual understanding that they couldn’t do that, they couldn’t risk it again.
Right as Soda stepped out of the car and slammed the door, he felt his stomach churn. He didn’t know what he was walking into. Even if his brothers hadn’t heard, he would still feel that heavy anxiety in just knowing that could change any day. Before he could even make up to the first step, Darry walked right out the door. He strode past Soda and stopped at Steve’s car.
“Get inside Steve, I know you don’t go nowhere to be.” Darry demanded as he opened the passenger do.
“Well, I’m gonna’ get to bed soon so I-”
“I said get inside. Bedtime can wait, Randle.” Darry deadpanned.
Soda’s skin began to tingle and he all the sudden felt very cold. Everything began to feel unfamiliar and just plain wrong. He tried to ask why Darry needed Steve inside, but not a word could come out. Everything around him felt malevolent, the floor, the air, Darry, Steve- everything was wrong. He was gasping for breaths but it felt as though his lungs had closed and air could only reach the back of his mouth. He didn’t remember at what point his knees hit the ground, but he couldn’t process most of his movements. He began to freak out, trying to signal that he couldn’t breathe, trying to smack some air back into himself.
It all happened so quick that Darry was only able to react by the time Soda has thrown himself onto the floor. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, both Ponyboy and Soda had a few nervous breakdowns since their parents had died- especially in the few months that followed. However, Darry hadn’t seen it get that bad in a long time.
“Hey, honey, everything’s alright,” Darry stated as he knelt down next to Soda, he tried his best to remain calm despite his own concern that he might actually need to call someone to come help, Soda was completely pale, cold to the touch, and could barely breathe.
“Hey, buddy, Imma seriously need you to calm down, you’re freaking me out,” Darry grabbed both sides of Soda’s face and directed his brother’s attention toward himself, “you’re fine, you need to breath slower, stop gasping, just pay attention to me, you’re alright.”
Soda only managed to stop gasping to shout a strangled “no!” at Darry, though none of them knew what about. Steve reluctantly knelt down next to the two brothers and tried to comfort Soda, as well.
After a short while, Soda began to loosen up and breathe better. Though it still wasn’t a stellar situation, it was certainly a lot better than bordering a medical emergency.
Darry effortlessly scooped Soda up bridal-style and walked toward the front door. Steve stood idly behind, unsure what to do, until he realized Darry was waiting on him to open the door.
Sodapop had clung onto his older brother’s neck, repeating choked out “I’m sorry”s and “I don’t know”s as they walked to the couch.
Darry sat down on the couch and cradled his brother as Soda sobbed helplessly and incoherently shouted more apologies. Steve sat down on the armchair adjacent to them and stared absentmindedly on the floor. Though he seemed a lot more collected, it wouldn’t take a second glance to see his eyes bulging out of his head, his color gone, and his overall violent shakiness.
“Steve,” Darry called, making the younger boy timidly look toward him, “c’mere,” Darry waved an arm, motioning Steve to sit next to him and Sodapop on the couch. Steve walked over and sat a few inches from Darry, which lasted shortly as Darry tugged him into something a group hug. Not having the energy for his pride, Steve let himself relax into the hug, resting his head against Darry’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around himself.
They stayed in that position for what could’ve been twenty minutes in complete silence, Darry rubbing soft circles to both the younger boys shoulder as their breath evened out and their hearts were no longer pounding right out their chests. When Soda’s eyelids began to flutter in sleepiness, Darry decided it was time to get up and actually talk to him- which they all understood what topic it was going to be about. Though Soda and Steve still felt nervous at the thought of having to talk about it and how Darry could know (and what that means for them), they at least had the security of knowing Darry wasn’t already cursing them out and beating them for what he knew.
They stayed in silence as Darry stood up and walked over to the arm-chair. They waited patiently as he thought out what he was going to say. He sat with this elbows rested on his knees and his faced propped up in his hands, staring at the ground in silence.
“Hm, okay,” Darry finally said, sitting up straight and looking at the two boys, “first thing I want to establish- I love you guys, and ain’t nothing could ever change that. I know we live in a world where liking someone the same sex as you is considered worse than wrong, but I wasn’t raised that way, our parents didn’t believe that,” at this, Soda’s hand flew up to his mouth as tears begin to well up in his eyes again, “‘n I think we just lived in a messed up time-period full of a society that can’t accept anything outside the norm. It ain’t your fault, there ain’t nothing wrong with y’all, and I am not judging you, and this does not change my view of either of you, savvy?”
Sodapop and Steve both nodded, both of them trying their hardest to not start crying.
“Second of all, imma tell you how I found out. Two-bit saw you both in the lot all hanky-panky. He was shocked, that’s for sure, but he wasn’ really judging you either. He didn’t want to tell me but felt like he should, and I told him not to tell a single other person... Not really told him, more threatened, so don’t worry about that.” Both boys felt a wave of immense relief was over them, though that was still awfully embarrassing, the whole situation was no longer feeling life-threatening.
“Last thing I wanna’ set straight, is that if you guys are gonna’ fool around with each other, you can’t be that fucking stupid. I don’t know if y’all are aware of what fucking decade is, but ya’ some lucky fucking ducks that it was Two-bit who caught you and not some fag-hating asshole with a gun. Or ya’ boss. Or quite literally anyone else. I need you guys to understand how serious this is, it ain’t a game of ‘try not to get caught under the bleachers or we’ll get detention’- it ain’t fair, I know, but have some goddamn self-preservation. Believe me that I would rather you be alive than in love, and if y’all can’t behave yourselves and be safe, than I don’t care if I have to say you can’t see each other no more. Have some common sense. I mean, there is literally a bathroom at your workplace. Or you can just keep it in your fucking pants until your goddamn shift is over like all us civilized folk who don’t let our dick decide where it gets to play.”
At that point in the conversation, both Steve and Sodapop were beet red and heavily avoiding Darry’s gaze. They gave some quick mumbles of agreement and hoped that Darry would move on. As the anxiety of being caught started to ease, the anxiety of how horrendously embarrassing it is snuck its way in.
“Hopefully you both already know this since you’re nearing eighteen, but condoms do a lot more than stop pregnancies. They can stop the spread of-”
“Yes! Yes- we already learned that in like freshmen year, we know, thank you!” Soda quickly interrupted before that conversation could get anymore humiliating.
“Thank you Dar, thank you so much.” Soda said after a few seconds, rushing up towards his brother to hug him. Steve followed suite after a few seconds.
“Yeah, thanks Superman,” Steve gave Darry an awkward, playful punch on the arm as he rocked back on forth on his heels beside the two. He could’ve said more, but he knew Darry got the point, and Steve had humiliated himself enough in one night, he needed to try and regain some dignity.
Steve and Sodapop knew that they were far from living a normal life, and they were far from done having issues about their relationship. However, all of that felt a lot more bearable knowing that at least two of the few people that they cared about the most didn’t hate them. A weight lifted off their shoulders that night and no matter how heavy the many other ones got, they were all easier to carry knowing they had someone’s support.