Chapter Text
“You have such a beautiful house.”
It isn’t a new thing to hear. The typical arrival and parting words from most guests. Chanyeol returns the same warm smile every time, especially now that the genuine sadness to leave is clear from the couple’s eyes. Totally understandable, especially with that sight of strawberries in full bloom on their way out.
“We will come back.” the woman says, pressing closer to her husband as they cast one last glance around the fields.
“I’ll look forward to that.” Chanyeol smiles and waves at them, “Drive safe.”
As the couple leaves, the warmth instantly dwindles. The place is once again empty, and the freezing air from the approaching winter makes it a tiny bit worse.
Looks like it’s that time of the year again.
Even for an approaching winter, the cabin is doing pretty well. Chanyeol made sure it would survive the extremes of any weather and would tend to anything that needs repair as soon as he can. It’s not like he’s too busy with other things. Checking the house, harvests and the market were his only whereabouts on a usual day. The man was literally one call away, a good impression for any guest and the main reason why the cabin had stellar reviews online for anyone to check.
This is a success story for a twenty-eight year-old in Boseong. In a town like this, there’s not much to aim for. He has a land with good crops, lives in a decent house and gets to drink beer with his friends every Friday night. At this point, Chanyeol had stopped reaching further. Gone was the boy with sturdy dreams because maybe he wants a very simple life, after all. The only time someone ever rubs the deficiency in his life right on his face is when Halmi would tell him to marry or whenever his parents would set him up on awkward dates. Apart from that, he’s content with the stability. On his own.
The market on Friday afternoon is pure chaos, with everything selling out before closing. Good thing Dongseok has been scary enough to collect their weekly payments instead of him, but that doesn’t stop him from dropping by the place and forcing his old car into the crowded alleys in hopes to spot a certain man. When he does, Chanyeol rolls his window down and grins at his frowning face.
“You’re not fetching me with this car again.” the petite male starts off as soon as he hops in the shotgun seat, nose scrunching in distaste. His formal suit makes the look on his face even funnier.
“Well, then ask someone else to drive you.”
“Chanyeol, why won’t you throw this car away? I never beg, but I’ll make an exception now.” Chanyeol guffaws and bumps his palm on the wheel.
“I save more gas with this. A farmer needs to be practical, Soo.”
“How is it practical when you literally have it repaired every single month? It’s dying.” Chanyeol chooses to dismiss that, “And you’re not a farmer. You’re a plantation owner. You’re a rich fucker.” the random rhymes made him shake his head in amusement.
“That doesn’t mean I’ll go around collecting cars.”
“You’re really a dumbass, aren’t you? Use your decent ones instead of this, that’s what I meant.” the other man countered, clicking his tongue in frustration.
Chanyeol keeps his eyes on the road.
“I use them. I’m just really comfortable with this. Won’t get rid of it yet.” there’s a slight twinge in his chest so he throws a taunting grin at Kyungsoo instead.
There might be a lot of words to hear from Kyungsoo but he’s much more bearable than Minseok. He met both of them from his military service almost three years ago and easily became friends with each other, especially upon knowing that they’re all from South Jeolla. Minseok even came from the same high school but was a few years ahead of Chanyeol, while Kyungsoo moved to Boseong before college and stayed there from then on.
Chanyeol’s nights were kept busy by his friends, but mostly the two of them. Sometimes he actually asks himself whether he’d still be friends with Minseok if he isn’t his employee. The older drinks a lot for someone who has such a low tolerance for alcohol and has a darker sense of humor than Chanyeol could handle. He feels like his friendship with Kyungsoo is much more natural because of their similarities; one of those being Minseok’s caregivers whenever he becomes hideously drunk and talking shit about him while he’s passed out.
But their differences made the dynamic as good as it is now. Chanyeol has learned to appreciate both of them after basically pouring his thoughts and feelings out during their drunken Friday nights for the past few years. It’s safe to say that they’re one of the few people who saved him from what his life has become since he came back and provided him company that has kept him from losing it. God knows he needed it so bad.
“So, are we picking up Minseok? Or are we going there now?” he asks, which earned him a confused look from Kyungsoo.
“What?” he shifts a little bit to face Chanyeol, “Wait, we don’t have plans tonight. You have to go to Halmi, right?”
He squints his eyes when Chanyeol looks like he has absolutely no idea about this. The latter blinks in an attempt to conceal his sudden confusion.
“I’ll just drop by, so it won’t take too long I guess.”
“You’re really an idiot.” it’s not enough that Kyungsoo figured out how he forgot to drop by at the old woman’s house, “Halmi was at the market a while ago. She said she’s preparing a special dinner for you. Don’t tell me you forgot?”
“She didn’t tell me about the dinner!” Chanyeol gasps in defense. Deep inside, he’s recalling the last conversation he had with the old lady and dinner seems to have been mentioned.
“Chanyeol-ah, pay attention to everything Halmi says, will you?” Kyungsoo calmly reproaches that successfully tugs his conscience, “Let’s go out next week. I’ll go home tonight and revise my CV.”
“You screwed up that interview, didn’t you?”
“You’re really risking possible free coupons by saying that.” he shakes his head when Chanyeol simply guffaws, “I always do well fucker, drop me off here.”
The old car is too small to sneak into the steep and narrow street where Kyungsoo lives, so Chanyeol only drops him off at the end of the street. Sometimes he’d wait on the same spot until Kyungsoo reaches the gate despite knowing that he’s the most capable of protecting himself among everyone else in that place. Something about Kyungsoo makes anyone want to tuck him in their pockets for safekeep.
He opens the window of the rundown car as soon as Kyungsoo hopped out to peer at him.
“Kyungsoo-yah, don’t you wanna go have dinner with us?” Chanyeol asks with a charming smile which never really works for the other. Maybe if he’s there, Halmi would be distracted enough to stop pushing Chanyeol to the idea of settling down he has to endure every single time.
“How would you have her attention if I’m there?” Kyungsoo knows it very well, “Thanks ride!”
On the way there, a familiar dread falls over Chanyeol. It’s making him guilty to feel this way when Halmi has been nothing but a family to him. He’s fully aware that his frequent visits have become occasional. It used to be a case of simply adjusting to the workload of handling all the plantations here and back home but at one point, Chanyeol acknowledged the fact that he avoids going there too much. And even with the countless alibis he comes up with, he knows Halmi is just as aware of that.
The place brings him a rush of unwanted feelings. Every corner of the town does, but the old woman’s house is the worst. The warmth has been subdued by a nostalgia that claws in his chest. The memories there are too much for him to handle, and it doesn’t get better throughout the past few years of attempting to be accustomed to it.
As he stops in front of the old garage that used to be a fruit stall, Chanyeol stays in the car and allows his mind to play tricks on him. The picture of two boys bantering and tailing each other around is still too vivid to relive. He blinks once and the warm sight once again becomes a closed dilapidated garage.
Coldness consumes him and Chanyeol has to look away to breathe easy. In the end, as always, he smiles bitterly.
Before he knows it, Halmi appears outside and starts knocking on the poor window of his car. The old lady is still strong for an almost eighty year-old woman. She’s frowning at Chanyeol for parking on the street instead of the garage since it’s an unspoken understanding that he’s not staying longer. It takes them a minute of bickering before Chanyeol finally accepts defeat.
“Just do as I say and don’t block the street! This child…” she hisses and even opens the garage door for him.
From downstairs, Chanyeol can already smell the food she cooked that has his stomach rumbling. He also came to realize that Halmi was holding a plastic bag filled with bottled juice and soft drinks. Chanyeol reaches out to carry it for her, frowning at the content inside as they go upstairs.
“Did you cook a lot? I can’t stay long, Halmi. You know it’s harvest tomo— aw! ” the slap on his arm makes him stop. Chanyeol’s pretty sure he hit his head from flinching, too. Throughout the years, he had gone too big for the small stairs leading to the living room.
“You just got here and you’re already thinking of leaving?” his pained expression loosened up upon seeing the accusing look on Halmi’s face, “You don’t even visit me that much. Don’t you like coming here anymore? Just say so!”
Now that she points it out, his guilt gets worse. Chanyeol diffidently shakes his head like a scolded child.
“It’s not that…” he tries to give the frowning woman a placating smile, “I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy recently, Halmi. I like coming here, promise… I’m sorry.”
Halmi scowls at him, but she’s not really the type to stay mad at Chanyeol, or her other foster grandsons. Especially a particular one.
“Stop whining then and make it up to me by behaving properly.” she says and the young man instantly nods, “Now bring that up before the food gets colder.”
The old lady walks ahead of him, while Chanyeol quietly tails behind. He begins to accept the fact that he’s going to have to stay longer until Halmi has completely warmed up to him again.
She faces Chanyeol at the end of the stairs.
“Chanyeol-ah. Don’t you dare drop that, okay? Seonu is closing, we can’t buy another tonight!” the man’s eyes rounded from the sudden reminder. Before he could counter a question, Halmi has stepped inside the house where a bunch of food is placed on the table. Chanyeol stands still on the door, lips parted.
“Halmi!” he groans at the woman who giggled at something behind him, “This is a feast! Why would you cook that much! I can’t have another constipation during harvest!”
“This is my surprise! I told you yesterday, right?”
Chanyeol unknowingly feels his heart skipping a beat, “What surprise?”
“Surprise?”
His mind had played too many tricks on him before that Chanyeol doesn’t instantly turn around this time. The voice sparks a thrill that rolls down his spine.
When he blinks and Halmi is still smiling at someone near him, Chanyeol finally takes a look. Someone actually spoke. Someone is actually there. Someone actually came back to worsen the dreadful nostalgia he attached to this place.
“ Chanyeol-ah! Mind your grip on the bottle I told you we can’t buy another tonight!” now it all makes sense why Halmi said that because he momentarily forgot he’s holding something, “I told Baekhyunnie to hide behind the refrigerator! Are you shocked?”
Baekhyun is staring back at him, unsurprised but equally stiff. At one glance, nothing really changed about him. But as he stands there— in a place he used to belong to, the difference becomes reeking.
Especially for someone who used to know him too well.
“Baekhyun-ah, come! Chanyeol still has his hand washing ritual so we should start this off.” the said man gulps and forces a smile at Halmi, who is gleefully presenting a seat to him, “I bet you miss Korean food. Your mother doesn’t really cook, you told me, right?”
It takes a little while before Chanyeol gathers the courage to move. Instead of sitting with them, he walks to the kitchen to wash his hands first, which takes a lot longer because he has to take in deep breaths in between.
When he steps out, Baekhyun’s blinding smile is the first thing he sees. The man is happily listening to Halmi’s stories. When he meets Chanyeol’s eyes, he tries to give him an exclusive smile, but Chanyeol has already looked away.
“Jongwan is insisting on having his books signed! Can you believe he left five copies here? He didn’t even deny he’ll sell the others for a higher price once you signed on them!” Chanyeol quietly takes the seat beside Halmi, while Baekhyun is directly across from him. There’s really not much space around the dining table, as it has always been made for the exact four people who ate there.
“Jongwan still comes here? I hope I'll get to see him.”
“He’s almost done with college. I think he’s gonna work for the plantation after.” she says, casting a look towards the man who’s awfully silent beside her, “Chanyeol’s the only one who’ll hire him with those grades.”
The two chuckle, opposite to Chanyeol who is enduring the hot broth burning his tongue and can barely grasp what they’re talking about. He can’t lift his gaze up and look at Baekhyun to see that he’s actually there. To see him laughing his heart out like nothing happened.
“Right, Chanyeol?” he chokes on his food when Halmi nudges him with an elbow.
“What?”
“This kid!” she frowns in annoyance from the absent response, “I said the boy is insisting you include him in your weekly night outs now that he’s legal! With Kyungsoo!”
They’re still talking about Jongwan. Chanyeol has a hint of distaste on his face since he sat there, and it stays there as he answers.
“Do you want Kyungsoo to kill me, Halmi? Jongwan just turned eighteen.” he dismisses his racing heart upon feeling a pair of eyes settled on him. Brows furrowed, Chanyeol keeps his focus on the food in front of him like it’s his last feast.
“That’s what I told him!”
Baekhyun watches them with a little smile, “Who’s Kyungsoo?”
Chanyeol briefly looks at Baekhyun who’s watching him, but he lets Halmi answer.
“Chanyeol’s best friend! I forgot you haven’t met him yet!” he never actually claimed Kyungsoo as his best friend, but Halmi might have assumed it from the fact that Chanyeol’s always with him and Minseok. Between the two, Chanyeol surely likes inviting Kyungsoo here more, “Jongwan wants to go drinking with them every week because he thinks he’s an adult. He’s an idiot.”
Baekhyun nods slowly, his gaze falling on the food.
“Are you staying at the cabin, Chanyeol?” he asks with a smile. Chanyeol slows down from eating, dumbly trying to figure out whether he’s talking to him even if his name was blatantly called.
“No.” he doesn’t look at Baekhyun’s reaction from his curt response. Even Halmi beside him briefly falls silent.
He could’ve been friendlier. A bit warmer. But Chanyeol has concluded that’s a bit impossible when Baekhyun just came barging here without giving him the chance to gather the emotions that are all over the place and put up a sickening façade.
So right there, he lets the bitterness he fostered to take home in the center of his chest.
“Ah, the cabin is a guest house, Baekhyunnie! Visitors from all over the country and even foreigners rent it for a countryside view. Especially for the strawberry farm!” the old lady saves the conversation yet again. She noticeably throws a hesitant gaze at Chanyeol.
Baekhyun blinks rapidly, stunned by the revelation. He stares at the man across from him but he’s not spared a glance.
“Now that you bring it up, maybe you can stay there to write your book!” Halmi beams brightly when the two men look at her, “the last guest just left and no one is there yet. You’ll definitely be inspired by the view. It’s also strawberry season! You can get some sna—”
“Halmi, we’re harvesting.” Chanyeol barrels on, a bit impatiently. Something about the idea riles him up, “We don’t accept reservations to give way for the harvest. Farmers will be working there for weeks.”
Despite the hint of smile that remains on his lips, Baekhyun has fallen silent on his seat. The air around begins to feel tight.
“But it’s just the house! You won’t be harvesting the whole day.” Halmi smiles warmly, throwing a few comforting glances at Baekhyun’s way, “I just think that’s the best place he can stay in, especially if he needs inspiration for his writing.”
Chanyeol sighs, “We don’t want guests to be bothered by the harvest, that's why we close reservations during the season. It has always worked that way.” Chanyeol has been accustomed to Halmi’s expression when she’s getting furious but this time, it doesn’t shake him, “I’m sure there are other hotels or villas he can stay in.”
“Baekhyunnie isn’t a mere guest. He owns the cabin, too.” Halmi retaliates with a scolding tone, “He should be allowed to stay there whenever he likes. I’m sure he’s the last person to disturb the harvest.”
His jaw clenched a little, but Chanyeol falls quiet from that. He should’ve known that Halmi would pull that card on him. But then again, not a bit from everything tonight was ever expected.
“Halmi, I’ll just book a hotel.” Baekhyun finally speaks, lips curved in a placating smile as if it’s all okay. Chanyeol dreads the fact that he can see through him very well, so he’s well aware that the tinge of pain he’s seeing from his eyes is caused by him. Chanyeol maintains a hard look even if a lump forms itself in his throat.
“I’m sure Chanyeol can do something.” the old lady refuses to let it go. Threat is recognizable from her tone this time.
Chanyeol can only proceed to eat his meal, wishing that the night ends sooner. He’d choose the drunken Friday nights with his friends over this anytime. Even babysitting a drunk Minseok seems more appealing at this point.
“I’ll see what I can do.” he grumbles and doesn’t speak a word for the rest of the dinner.
After volunteering to wash the dishes by himself, Chanyeol is almost scurrying out of the place. He gives a half-hearted goodbye just to finally escape while they’re distracted by their catching up. But Halmi surely knows better because she excuses herself to send him out, casting the sweetest smile at Baekhyun that instantly shifts into a frown once it’s just the two of them.
“Why are you acting like this, Chanyeol?” the old woman asks once they’re next to his car, “Baekhyun just came back. You can’t treat him like this.”
The man lets out a sigh.
“I didn’t say anything to him, Halmi.” Chanyeol calmly responds, gazing somewhere else.
“Exactly. He’s not a stranger but you’re making him feel unwelcome.” her words are nothing but the truth, but they trigger something unhinged in him. Chanyeol doesn’t like this feeling at all, “this is his home, too. You grew up together. You loved him for ye—”
“Did you forget what he did to me too?” he can’t help the sharpness in his tone, rendering the older speechless, “And this is not his home, Halmi. He already made that clear long ago when he left.”
There’s a dreadful weight that wouldn’t leave his chest. Of all people, he expected Halmi to understand. She was there to see Chanyeol when he was at his lowest point. It might have been some time ago now, but Chanyeol hasn’t forgotten. This feels like a betrayal to him.
When she sadly smiles, his stomach churns even more.
“You’re the most forgiving child I’ve known, Chanyeol-ah.” it’s tormenting how she makes it sound like a distant memory now, “Think of the good things he did and the beautiful memories you have together. I’m sure they’re more than the unwanted ones. Even as friends, I hope you learn to start all over again.”
Chanyeol clenches his jaw, but the lump in his throat makes it hard to speak. There’s also not many words that feel right. The anger is too much to push all the rationale before they could come.
“I love you both so much, and I’m not going to pick sides. Please don’t make me.” Halmi gulps, “Chanyeol-ah, I’m getting older. I’d like to see you two getting along if I ever have to leave. Your Halbi missed that opportunity.”
This made the younger one look at her. Chanyeol’s eyes effortlessly glisten from her words, and he can only shake his head in defiance to what she’s trying to imply. The thoughts that dawn on him are too much to handle.
Halmi smiles, because it is inevitable after all, “Just try. Try to fix things slowly. You don’t have to rush.” she tells Chanyeol, “do it for me and Halbi.”
With such heaviness in his chest, he finds himself saying yes to her request to let Baekhyun stay in the cabin. Chanyeol may have also agreed to fetch him tomorrow to drive him there.
Baekhyun’s sudden return throws him in a different spiral. The last time he was at this exact state was when they ended things. It has only been a few years, but it feels like a decade already. But maybe because he had been trying to keep himself occupied with a lot of things to fill the hollowness it left behind.
As Chanyeol drove home that night, his grip on the wheel was a bit tighter. His gaze was pinned on the road, hard and relentless. Despite that, he couldn’t count the times he struggled to swallow the bile in his throat. Baekhyun’s face from the dinner kept appearing in his mind, and the picture sparked all the other thoughts, including the memories Chanyeol thought he already buried. Turns out they’re still vivid scenes in his head.
The worst thing about that was blaming himself no matter how brighter it was than the sun that he tried his best. Chanyeol still believed he did something wrong. Maybe he loved a little too much and it became suffocating at one point. Whenever he would remember thinking that way before, it becomes harder to forgive.
Most of their memories in Boseong were magical ones— falling in love and building dreams. Now that Baekhyun is back, the truth finally kicks in. It hits different now that all he has to do is forget him in the place where they fell for each other.
He barely realized he'd already stopped in front of his house. Chanyeol sits in the silence of the car, and even that brings him a surge of nostalgia. He bought Baekhyun’s old car when they were together because Baekhyun was fighting his tears just by the thought of it going to some random stranger. Now he’s using it on a daily basis. The cabin is named for the two of them. Back home, Halmi never really stopped talking about Baekhyun as if nothing happened. It shouldn’t be surprising how hard it is to pick himself up and move forward.
Chanyeol realized that he gave too much, until nothing’s left for himself. He’s not making the same mistake this time.
As he stares at his house from the driver’s seat— his lonely and cold house where he comes home every day to reevaluate his choices, Chanyeol blinks back the tears he didn’t know were forming. He grits his teeth and puffs out a deep breath.
He loves Halmi so much that he’ll grant her request. Fine, then. But that doesn’t mean he’ll make the same mistake of choosing someone who never saw his worth.
|
When he got to Halmi’s house the next day after lunch, Baekhyun was already dressed with his bags beside him. Like the previous night, he casts a smile at Chanyeol but the latter has his gaze fixed on the two bags lying on the floor.
He’s obviously not staying long.
Chanyeol keeps a blank look on his face, “let’s go?”
Halmi goes through her usual set of reminders and gives too much packed food for Baekhyun like he’s going somewhere far. Chanyeol simply watches them from the driver’s seat, finding the scene too familiar. As always, he dismisses the pang it brings him, especially when Baekhyun steps out of the garage and does a noticeable stop— stunned from seeing the old car like a friend he lost out of touch with.
Maybe Chanyeol should’ve used his other cars lying unused in his house, but then again, it doesn’t really matter. This is his car now. It has been for a long time.
Baekhyun’s questions are left unsaid when Chanyeol wordlessly drives as soon as he gets inside.
The silence is surprisingly endurable the first few minutes, especially with Baekhyun being genuinely distracted by the view outside. It looks like he’s trying to spot every difference he can find. Chanyeol doesn’t have to spare him a glance to know every turn of his head every time he’s awed.
When Baekhyun begins to fiddle his hands on his lap, he also prepares himself.
“Hey, thanks for allowing me to stay in the cabin…” he starts off, looking at Chanyeol who’s focused on the road, “I know Halmi has been a little persuasive, but don’t worry, I’ll pay full charge. May I ask about the rates?”
“Minseok will talk to you about that.”
The writer blinks, “Minseok?”
Chanyeol takes a pause to remind himself that a lot of things are new to the other, but he expected that catching up with Halmi should have equipped him with the new people and changes around.
He just didn’t like the idea of being the one to introduce him to any of this.
“He co-manages the cabin. He’ll attend to your needs and inquiries. I told him to drop by today so you two can talk.” Chanyeol gives himself a pat in the back for sounding more professional than cold this time.
“I thought you’d be my contact for the house?”
He looks at Baekhyun, thinking he’s kidding. Upon seeing the clear hope on his face though, Chanyeol instantly darts his gaze away.
“It’s harvest season and I’ve been checking the plantations back and forth, so he has to take over for a while.” he answers after a subtle gulp.
Baekhyun nods despite the dismayed smile, “I see.”
The conversation reaches its halt there and the silence has become far more dreadful this time, especially when Baekhyun clearly isn’t as distracted by the view as he was earlier. Chanyeol’s hand around the wheel tightens every time he feels the blatant glances thrown his way every now and then.
It's ironic how someone who used to fill the silences of your days could easily end up like this— on a seat right next to you yet your heart feels light years away.
When they are five minutes away from the cabin, Baekhyun turns to him.
“Are we here?” he blinks in confusion when Chanyeol nods, “Shouldn’t we enter the orchard?”
Chanyeol realizes it’s another thing he’s yet to know.
“I had another gate built so that guests won’t have to walk too far from the orchard.” he explains.
Baekhyun nods before sheepishly smiling.
“Can we enter from the orchard?” Chanyeol slows down from driving, “I mean… if it’s okay.”
They’re literally a few steps away from the new gate, but Chanyeol finds himself surprisingly willing to turn the car around to drive for another five minutes. The old reflex of saying yes to every request has suddenly gone unnoticed.
“Yeah… sure.”
Baekhyun still has his way with the old car. He knows how to move the things inside so it won’t end up broken because of age. When they reach the vast land of the orchard, he wordlessly opens the window and rests his arms on it to watch the scenery outside. Chanyeol is allowed to look at him properly from his seat, tracing the outline of his face with his gaze.
They stop beside the delivery trucks and have to walk from there. Chanyeol doesn’t ask when he took the two bags and carried them on his own, walking ahead of Baekhyun who’s just quietly tailing behind him. Dongseok spots them from the orchard house and flashes a huge grin too friendly for a big guy like him. Chanyeol rolls his eyes when he waves at Baekhyun.
Somewhere along the way, Chanyeol stops hearing the steps behind. He turns around and sees Baekhyun standing still, lips parted as he looks around.
“Everything okay?”
The air is blowing against Baekhyun’s hair. From where Chanyeol stands, he looks like he hasn’t aged a day since the last time he stood there with the same awe on his face at age eighteen.
“It’s still the same…” it was a mumble, but Chanyeol surely heard it perfectly from the way his expression shifted. Baekhyun’s eyes settled on him from traveling around but with no words to say, Chanyeol chooses to walk again.
As they get into the cabin, he dismisses the sudden twinge in his chest. Chanyeol directly walks to the front porch, unlocking the door with a bunch of keys in his hand. After placing the bags on the couch, he spots Baekhyun from the living room window, still standing outside and eyes darted around the fields like it’s the air he breathes.
“Wow.” how fucked is it that he could still read the simple movement of Baekhyun’s lips, “It’s beautiful.”
Chanyeol watches him a little more before walking back to the door with a stern look back on his face.
“It’s getting colder. We should go inside.” Baekhyun snaps out from his dreamy thoughts when Chanyeol’s voice matches the weather. His lips curved into a placating smile as he walks inside.
“I never thought it would look like this after renovation.” he tries to initiate another conversation while observing the house, “It used to look like a haunted house, remember?”
Baekhyun’s smile doesn’t falter no matter how absent or curt Chanyeol’s responses are. The pain gets a bit visible from it once in a while but he doesn’t let an ounce of defeat show. He interacts with the other man like it’s the least tiring job to do.
“Did you live here?” he turns around from watching the kitchen to face Chanyeol, “When you came back, I mean?”
Chanyeol remains leaning on the wall, shaking his head.
“No.” with no explanations like the previous night, he doesn’t wait for the silence to fall over them and grabs the keys on the table. Baekhyun stares at his face when he gets closer to hand him the spare key. Chanyeol tries not to let it get to him this time.
“So I already gave your number to Minseok and he’ll drop by this afternoon to talk to you. There’s a restaurant five minutes away from the new gate, but the farmers here usually give complimentary lunch to my guests.” Baekhyun is looking at him, yet he’s not entirely sure if the writer’s listening, “If you need to buy something, just call Dongseok-hyung at the orchard house. The phone is in the kitchen hall.”
Baekhyun’s tiny moles seem to be greeting him from this distance. For a moment, Chanyeol gets a better look at them, especially when Baekhyun returns a warm beam for his rather stoic reminders.
“It’s fine. I’d like to walk around in case I need something.” his chuckle easily reminds Chanyeol that he used to live here, “When will you come back?”
“Come back where?” Baekhyun’s smile falls a little.
“Here… I mean, you used to work a lot in the orchard before.”
Chanyeol blinks a few times. As much as he wants to say that he’ll stray far from here as much as he can, he has a promise to fulfill for Halmi.
“Dongseok-hyung is in charge of that. I don’t spend much time here since I have other things to work on.” he straightens up and darts his gaze outside upon seeing the dismayed look on Baekhyun’s face, “I’ll drop by tomorrow just for the strawberry harvest. Minseok will be attending to your needs.”
“Can I… help with the harvest?” Baekhyun asks, sounding hopeful for someone who’s been disappointed quite a few times today.
Chanyeol doesn’t know how to get out of it this time, because if he’s been reading Baekhyun too well for the past hour, then it’s not farfetched to think it happens the other way around.
“It’s a lot of work. Quite complicated.”
“I can just watch. I’d like to learn how it works.” Baekhyun cocks his head, anticipating a much better answer.
Chanyeol sighs.
“Okay. We do it early in the morning. Dongseok-hyung can drop by here before we start.” he says, internally scolding the thing in his chest when it flinched from the huge beam on the writer’s face.
“Anything else you need?”
Chanyeol stops at the door, waiting for his response. Baekhyun parts his lips in an attempt to say something.
“I…” he ends up pursing his lips again and lets the feigned smile situate itself instead, “no, that’s it. Thanks, Chanyeol.”
|
“Hyung, six more bottles here!”
The owner of the bistro doesn’t have to ask twice whenever Chanyeol shouts that way. His deep voice reverberates in the small place, especially after a few bottles of beer.
Minseok smirks but Kyungsoo’s the first one to ask.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Sshh! We don’t ask when Chanyeol is feeling extra generous.” Minseok shakes his head, “We say thank you and get drunk.”
Kyungsoo gives the said sponsor a suspicious look but doesn’t say anything else. At least not until the beers arrive.
Chanyeol’s a little more absent today than usual. He still laughs out loud and grimaces at every dark joke from Minseok but his gaze would settle into an empty space every now and then.
“Cheers!”
Minseok’s bottle is instantly drunk halfway as soon as he gets his hands on it. Kyungsoo stares at him. They’re used to him but sometimes he can’t help but observe him with disbelief. Looks like the drunkard doesn’t even notice anything about Chanyeol.
“There, take mine.” Kyungsoo gives him his unconsumed bottle, to which Minseok whistles cheerfully.
“You don’t like beer?” Chanyeol asks him, “Want me to buy something else?”
“No thanks. I wanna live longer than the two of you.” Kyungsoo tells him, returned by a completely opposite response from the two.
Kyungsoo watches them for a little while before Minseok starts off again.
“Hey, Chanyeol.” the grin on his lips gives the impending mischief away, “Halmi told me something at the market today.”
Kyungsoo looks at him with confusion, while Chanyeol simply arches his brows like he’s equally clueless. Not that convincing, though.
“Is that why we’re drinking a lot tonight?” Minseok chuckles, “No judgements.”
Chanyeol raises a brow without shifting his eyes away from his beer.
“What did she say?”
Minseok smiles at the look of anticipation on both their faces, keeping the suspense in the air by letting his words hang for a while.
“Our guest in the cabin…” he says, “your infamous ex.”
Kyungsoo butts in, “The writer from Canada?”
“I swear to god, Minseok.” Chanyeol sighs and sips his drink.
“What!” Minseok’s laugh taunts him further, “In fairness, he’s very handsome. Very friendly as well. If I didn’t know he’s your ex, I’d say he was flirting with me when we were negotiating about his stay.”
Chanyeol unconsciously frowns at this. Baekhyun has always been that way but Minseok, really?
“Trust me, you’re the last man to attract writers.” Kyungsoo responds instead and successfully kicks the older off his high horse, “What’s he doing here?”
Chanyeol shrugs. It’s the last thing he wants to talk about.
“Write a book, I guess.”
“Rekindle something?” Minseok isn’t done teasing.
“Shut up, will you?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t rile him up like Minseok does, but it’s clear that he has the same thoughts in his mind.
“Does that make you feel things?” Chanyeol grits his teeth when Minseok goes on, “It’s not impossible, you know? He looked pretty excited when he mentioned he’ll join your harvest tomorrow.”
This is the exact reason why he didn’t want to tell them about his past relationship (which is with one person alone anyway). Still, the fact that Baekhyun came back and they’re once again moving in such a small town with some new people in his life, there’s really no point hiding.
“That’s because he loves strawberries.” Chanyeol vaguely responds, “Can we talk about something else? I didn’t buy you beer just so you could irk me like this.”
He catches Kyungsoo watching him with curiosity. Chanyeol doesn’t like it.
“Why don’t you tell us more about him?” Minseok doesn’t really get the hint and even nudges Chanyeol with his elbow, “Baekhyun, right? All we know is that it ended pretty badly… and you only said it cause you’re drunk. You didn’t tell us what actually happened. We get curious, you know? Especially Kyungsoo, look.”
He points at Kyungsoo whose naturally round eyes make him look lost all the time.
“I don’t have anything to tell you, for fuck’s sake…”
“Come on! Even just the reason why you broke up—”
“We didn’t end it.” Chanyeol realizes what he said when it’s done, “Not officially, I mean, but it’s understood. We were killing each other to even bother talking properly. You fucking happy now?”
The two become silent for a while. It’s obvious that they didn’t really expect Chanyeol to give in that quickly and speak about it. Not after years of successfully dodging it.
“Yikes.” Minseok winces, “I get it. That’s actually pretty messy.”
Kyungsoo tilts his head to watch him.
“He’s here though…” he says, earning a smile from Minseok for continuing his purpose this time, “don’t you think you should talk about it properly?”
Chanyeol smiles, but it comes out bitter.
“He’s not here for that. And it’s not like it’s necessary. It’s a long time ago.” he lifts his gaze up to the two men watching him, “Now will you thank me for the treat by shutting up about it?”
Minseok sighs in defeat.
“We should’ve waited until he’s drunk as hell before asking. We probably got good answers.” his grin clearly implies that he didn’t see through the change in Chanyeol’s mood, “My bad.”
Chanyeol is relieved they didn’t touch the topic again after that. Kyungsoo still gives him an occasional lingering look, especially when he swallows down a bottle of beer in one go. Minseok, as usual, was the first one to get drunk and before either of them knew, they’re both carrying him out of the bistro again.
For someone who didn’t even speak about it that much, Chanyeol still found himself thinking about the same thing. The same scene. The same per—
“You okay?”
Chanyeol turns to see Kyungsoo looking at him from Minseok’s other side.
He simply nods, trying to make an impression that he’s tipsy even when it’s barely the alcohol consuming his system but thoughts.
“About what I said a while ago.” Kyungsoo continues after another stretch of silence while they’re waiting for a taxi outside, “Don’t you think your ex came back because he also wants to talk to you properly?”
Chanyeol rests his head on the wall behind them, taking in a huge breath as he closes his eyes.
“What else should we talk about?” he weakly asks without opening them.
“I don’t know. Closure, maybe? At least end it properly on both your ends?” Kyungsoo says, followed by a sigh when Chanyeol proceeds to pretend that he’s dozing off, “We don’t really know much about him, Chanyeol.”
Exactly. Chanyeol wanted it that way. The less he talked about Baekhyun, the less he had to bring him up. It was part of the coping, somehow.
Yet he’s here now. Still here.
“He came here to write his book, nothing else.” he says, eyes still closed.
“Of all places?” he doesn’t see Kyungsoo, but Chanyeol assumes the curiosity in his eyes is still yet to wear off, “Why here?”
Chanyeol chuckles in between keeping the same position. Turns out it’s easier to speak when he has his eyes closed. Nothing to conceal.
“Maybe he needs a dull town for a setting?” he smiles just in time as a cold breeze of air blows on his face, “A dead end for his character? Who knows.”
There’s a dull ache, somewhere along saying that.
It’s even worse when Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything after that. Chanyeol opens his eyes and sees the other man still holding Minseok’s arm, looking at the distance with a small smile like he realized something.
“Did you read his first book?”
He turns to look at Chanyeol again, who’s staring at him this time. Kyungsoo assumes his silence means no, because in the first place, why would he?
A group of drunk friends walks past them that interrupts the conversation. Chanyeol almost thinks it’s done there, but Kyungsoo speaks as soon as they’re gone and the silence sets between them again.
“I’ve read it twice.” he says, smiling when Chanyeol blinks in surprise. Kyungsoo never really mentioned it before, but it makes sense when you know how considerate he’s always been. There’s no need to mention it when Chanyeol never liked talking about Baekhyun.
So maybe it’s nothing but the alcohol that gets him asking this time.
“And?”
Kyungsoo stops to think like he’s finding the right words.
“I think I understand why he chose this place…”
It’s all he says, simply smiling when Chanyeol seems to be expecting more. He puts the night to a halt by hailing the approaching cab and leaving the other tipsy man in a much deeper thought, “let’s carry this fucker home before he breaks a bottle.”