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Will thinks back often to their fall, and to the minutes before it. To the blood and pain. To the triumph and power. And especially to the overwhelming feeling of being alive. The feeling of life rushing through his veins is one he will never be in danger of forgetting. He’d felt alive when killing Randall Tier, but not like this. He suspects it has something to do with killing with Hannibal. He liked killing the Dragon with Hannibal. He liked their silent communication and their synchronicity. And he undeniably gives a lot of thought to the intimacy of the act being beyond comparison. Never had he felt more connected to someone as he did to Hannibal in those moments. He thinks about opening the Dragon’s stomach at almost the same moment Hannibal rips out his throat and his chest begins to flutter as a heady feeling comes over him. A pale remnant of the feelings from that night. A night that will forever be sacred. They had slain the dragon, and Will had loved it.
Will thinks back often to their fall, but he thinks about their embrace even more. The feeling of being in Hannibal’s arms, safe and cherished and loved. It was a feeling that stayed with him. It followed him onto the sand, it followed him in and out of consciousness. It followed him into his dreams. That feeling is on him like a shadow and he is both comforted and haunted by it. He wants that feeling again. On the cliff he realized that letting go of those feelings would be just as impossible as letting go of Hannibal. And he cannot let go of Hannibal, not again. He will follow Hannibal into the darkness and feel no fear. He wants this. The righteous power, the connection, the triumph. He wants it again and again. And he wants Hannibal, in his mind it’s all the same. To him those feelings are synonymous with Hannibal and he knows he can have none of it without him.
Will thinks back often to their fall, and the thoughts always leave him wanting.
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It doesn’t take Will long to realize that he derives too much enjoyment from Hannibal changing his bandages. Hannibal checks them more often than strictly necessary but Will doesn’t mention it or complain. He has no reason to complain, not with the gentle, worshipful touches Hannibal always bestows on him. Not when Hannibal looks at him like he’s the greatest gift anyone has ever gotten. No, there is never any grievance when Hannibal announces that he should check on his bandages. Will lets him check all he wants.
During one of these seemingly pointless changes Will suddenly feels Hannibal running his fingers lightly along the stitches on his shoulder. The touches are feather light and makes Will skin tingle. He enjoys it for a moment, but all at once his chest tightens and his heart threatens to break because it hits him full force again that Hannibal is in love with him. His soft, worshipful touches are but more needless proof and Will suddenly feels an overwhelming urge to press his chest more firmly onto Hannibal’s fingers. But too soon Hannibal is pulling away to put a fresh bandage on the wound and moving up to his cheek.
He quickly removes the “old” bandage but takes his time applying some ointment “to minimize scarring”. Hannibal’s fingers are soft and Will closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation weaved with delicate threads of the knowledge of Hannibal’s love. When he opens them again Hannibal is looking right at him and Will is floored by what he sees. The pure, naked adoration displayed openly on Hannibal’s face threatens to undo him. Hannibal has made no effort to hide his love since the fall and Will has made no effort to discourage it. He looks into Hannibal’s eyes and lets it all wash over him. He doesn’t really make a conscious decision to do so but without warning he wraps himself around Hannibal again. This time shirtless and burying his face in Hannibal’s neck, reveling in physical contact with the only person who will ever truly understand him. There is no cliff here to save Will from the joy of being in Hannibal's arms. Nothing to save him from the feeling of belonging that comes with it. He has chosen Hannibal, knowing any life he’d have without him would be a farce. Knowing that he wanted to feel everything that was coursing through his veins that night again and again. Somehow, being in Hannibal's arms feels safe, and Will knows in that moment that he will never feel right anywhere else. He never has. He has fought against it for years using all his energy to willfully ignore the truth. Lying and pretending to everyone, especially himself. He doesn’t want to fight anymore, he wants to be alive for the first time. Truly alive. Will takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, savoring the warmth of Hannibal's strong arms around him as he melts into them. Hannibal lets out a breath of his own, relaxing completely into the embrace. Will decides to just stay there. He wants to stay just like that for as long as he can.
Hannibal obliges.
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After that Will finds himself in Hannibal’s arms all the time. He hadn’t thought to make it such a habit but he craves closeness with Hannibal and can find no reason why he shouldn’t satisfy this longing now that he can. Hannibal is here with him. Hannibal loves him and Will sees no point in continuing to ache for the man when he’s standing right in front of him, with his love shining so bright and brilliant that there are times Will can’t bare to look. It’s the purest thing he’s ever felt and all he wants to do is keep feeling it. So whenever Will feels the need, he wanders into Hannibal’s arms and Hannibal is always more than happy to indulge him.
This particular time they’re on the couch in the living room where Hannibal was reading until Will came in and settled next to him laying his head on his shoulder. Hannibal immediately sets his book aside to shift positions so he can enfold the younger man as he nuzzles into the cradle of his arms.
They don’t often speak in these moments as Will is always content to just be, but this time he breaks the comfortable silence to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me Abigail was alive? I would’ve gone with you.”
Hannibal runs his fingers lightly through Will’s hair for a few moments before answering. “I didn’t want you to choose Abigail.”
Will is unsurprised by his answer and wonders idly about the bitterness and resentment that he’s not feeling toward Hannibal on the subject of Abigail. He decides at this juncture it’s probably best not to wonder, Will’s capacity to forgive Hannibal has proven unending. As is, Will knows, Hannibal’s capacity to forgive him. “After you left, I would imagine us killing Jack like we were supposed to.” He says into Hannibal’s shoulder. “I wished a thousand times that I’d made a different decision.” Hannibal doesn’t respond, he just keeps petting Will’s hair. “It was impossible not to wonder what our life would have been like. Do you think we could have been happy?”
“Happiness can only exist in acceptance. Were you ready then to accept the enemy inside you?”
“It’s not an enemy anymore.” Will says quickly before pausing to consider his actual answer. “Maybe not. Ironically, I think I needed everything that came after. It all served to bring me here.”
“And in that way, maybe it was worth it.”
Will doesn’t answer that. And he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to either.
“The loss of our family was keenly felt on both sides. Tell me, how are you faring this time around?”
Will is quiet for a long time trying to decide how he’ll answer. Finally he decides on the truth, “I don’t feel like I’ve lost a family, I feel like I’ve let go of a fantasy. I knew, even in the beginning, that life wouldn't make me happy. They loved me and were there for me, but I could never let them truly know me. Most of it was a lie.”
“Which part was truth?”
“I did care for them. I was grateful to them for who and what they were. I was grateful for their acceptance of me. But I knew it would fail, although I pretended I didn’t.”
“How did you know?” Hannibal asks delicately.
Will thinks back to all the nights lying next to Molly too wrapped up in his mind to even be aware of her presence. His hand always finding its way to the long scar across his abdomen, the reminder he couldn’t throw away. He’d spend most nights caressing it softly in the dark thinking endlessly of Hannibal. He’d spend his days pretending he didn’t. The hideous longing he had felt... He’d known so clearly then that there was a void inside him that would never be filled without Hannibal. It was something else he pretended wasn’t true.
Will’s aware that Hannibal already knows the answer to his question, he just wants to hear Will say it. And Will does, because he can now. “I wanted you.” He wishes he could have admitted it years ago. It’s not like it hasn’t always been true. But choosing Hannibal meant things. Things that Will wasn’t ready to accept. Not then.
Hannibal looks down at Will and puts a hand under his chin to coax him to look up. “You have me.”
Will gazes into Hannibal’s face and willingly drowns in the captivating look of reverence and devotion there. Hannibal’s hand slides ever so gently from under Will’s chin to his cheek stroking as he continues to stare deeply into Will’s eyes.
Will’s voice is hoarse because he’s drowning, but he feels no fear, Hannibal has saved him from drowning before. “I know.” He presses himself closer but keeps their eyes locked. “It was a fantasy, there was no place for truth there.” His breath is audible as Hannibal’s gaze fastens onto his lips. “But this is real. I feel it’s truth in my every breath.”
Hannibal slowly drags his gaze away from Will’s lips back to his face and doesn’t even try to hide the immeasurable want behind his eyes. Will is immensely unprepared as it crashes into every part of him with a force that’s almost painful. He’s still trying to breath as Hannibal’s hand moves from his cheek to the nape of his neck. Everything about Hannibal is screaming that he wants more, the hunger flooding off of him is potent and unmistakable. But the restraint is just as obvious. “Did you allow yourself to think of me?.” He murmurs, his eyes lingering on the swell of Will’s lips again. “Did you think of me as I thought of you?”
“Yes.” He nods uselessly. “Yes Hannibal.” Will feels every cell in Hannibal’s body wanting more and more, and more after that. But he knows that even with all that want radiating from him, Hannibal would never push Will to do something he didn’t want to do, not sexually. Hannibal is a lot of things, but he isn’t that. Will could back out of this moment if he wanted and Hannibal would accept it. But he doesn’t want to back out of this moment. Spending all this time unabashedly wrapped up in Hannibal and openly luxuriating in his love has lead Will to wonder about a number of things. Not the least of which is what Hannibal’s lips would feel like on his skin. Or what his more firm touches might be like. Will feels Hannibal’s desire rushing through his veins as if it were his own. Maybe it is, he doesn’t know anymore. Nor does it matter.
He puts his hand on the back of Hannibal’s neck and let’s it slide into his hair. Hannibal closes his eyes, inhaling sharply and Will doesn’t bother fighting the smile that springs to his lips. Hannibal’s reaction makes him feel brazen so he whispers, “It felt good to feel you again. To feel myself. I am not myself without you. I never have been and I never will be.” He nuzzles his cheek against Hannibal’s. “I need you Hannibal. I need you so I can be me.”
A groan comes from Hannibal’s throat and when he looks at Will his eyes are blazing with raw desire. Will feels an intoxicating thrill as he devours that look, suddenly realizing that he wants to taste it too. But Hannibal doesn’t move. Even with his eyes blazing and an almost unbearable desire flowing from him he still doesn’t move. Will tightens his fingers in Hannibal’s hair, pulls him closer and whispers “Yes.”
Immediately Hannibal’s lips are on his, fierce and hungry. “Tell me what you want.” Hannibal breathes harshly when he can finally tear himself away from Will’s lips.
It takes Will some time to answer because Hannibal’s kiss is relentless and he can’t get enough. “I want all of you.” He says in between kisses. “I want us to meld into one person like we should be. I want you to show me everything. I want to be yours.” He babbles in something akin to delirium even though some of the words are lost to Hannibal’s mouth.
Hannibal rips himself away panting over Will’s slightly parted lips, “You are mine Will. And I will kill anyone who tries to change that.”
Will is struck by the brutal sincerity in those words and guiltlessly allows himself to bask in the pleasure they elicit. “I want to kill with you again.” He says suddenly, stuck staring into Hannibal’s eyes. “Killing the Dragon felt so good, I want to do it again.”
Hannibal’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his face takes on a look of unadulterated bliss. “We’ll do it again.” He breathes bending to devour Will’s lips. “We’ll do it as much as you want.”
Will refuses to think about anything but this moment. He readily loses himself in the haze of kissing and touching and is unsurprised at this point that he wants even more. His hands, which had been roaming Hannibal’s chest and arms find their way to his shoulders and push him away to better see him.
Will looks at Hannibal and he wants. Before Hannibal, Will had considered himself to be straight and never cared to question it. Before Hannibal he had never looked at a man in a sexual way. But now all of that was obviously in some other world because Will is achingly hard in his pants and he definitely wants to do something about it.
Hannibal gives Will a confused look as he untangles himself and moves to stand. He tugs Hannibal off the couch, pulling him into an embrace that is nothing like all the others they’ve shared and murmurs close to his ear, “I know you want more.” He rolls his hips experimentally into Hannibal’s. “So do I.”
Hannibal throws his head back at the feel of Will’s hard cock against his own growling deep and long while Will is absorbed into the feeling of ecstasy that overcomes him at the action. “Hannibal… I want more.” he demands doing it again.
“Anything.” Hannibal says his eyes blazing with fire and a need so profound it almost makes Will dizzy.
“Take me to your bedroom.” Will says but doesn’t disengage from Hannibal’s body. “Hannibal take me.” Hannibal wastes no time lifting Will into his arms to carry him up the stairs to his bedroom, Will makes use the trip by pressing open mouthed kisses at his neck, biting and sucking.
When Hannibal bursts through the door, his chest heaving for reasons that have nothing to do with carrying Will there, he throws Will onto the bed and is immediately hovering over him. His mouth is hot and demanding and Will eagerly opens for him. “What do you want Will. Anything. Tell me.”
“I want you naked.” Will doesn’t hesitate to answer and Hannibal doesn’t need to be told a second time, ripping off his shirt paying no attention whatsoever to the buttons flying to god knows where. Will wants to smile, to take a step back and enjoy the way Hannibal is reacting to this, but the urgency that he feels himself is so strong that he can think of nothing but satisfying his hunger. Can do nothing but help Hannibal discard all of the clothes that separate them because he fully believes that the closer they get, the less he will ache.
A deep relief washes over him as they finally lay together skin against skin. Hannibal stretches out on top of him and starts rubbing their cocks together in a slow, torturous rhythm and Will cards a hand into Hannibal’s hair and lets himself be consumed by the pleasure. Hannibal kisses him like he wants to devour him and Will wants to let him. Wants to let Hannibal swallow him whole so they can never be parted again.
“You can’t know how I’ve wanted you.” Hannibal suddenly breathes into his ear, voice low and trembling. “How torturous the wait for you.”
“It was torture.” Will pants moving his hips mindlessly. He forces himself to get the words out. “But I can say it now. I want you Hannibal. I want this.”
Hannibal responds by grinding down hard onto Will’s cock, and if he had been thinking of saying anything else he isn’t now. He throws his head against the pillow and moans noisily, grabbing onto Hannibal’s hips to push him even harder onto his erection. Hannibal grinds into him over and over, each time more lavish than the last and stoking the fire in Will’s belly ever hotter.
Will has no idea how long he lies back gasping and moaning just letting Hannibal have his way with him and he doesn’t care. He grabs Hannibal’s hair and pulls him into a searing kiss, wrapping his legs around his waist to push Hannibal against him even harder. The kiss can’t last long though because neither of them have the breath for it so they fall to staring into each other’s eyes panting and rutting, their shared desire nearly a tangible thing.
Will’s mind is white as he experiences what is undoubtedly the most exquisite pleasure he has ever known. Nothing has ever compared to this and he knows nothing ever Will. Hannibal is only person he will ever be able to feel this with. The only person he will ever be able to feel this for. They are conjoined and Will now knows that they cannot survive separation. He basks in the excruciating joy of being in the loving embrace of the only person who has ever truly seen him. Of being able to look into Hannibal’s eyes and feel the other man’s ecstasy radiating through every cell in his body. It is a level of pleasure that Will was not even aware could exist. “Next time,” he gasps barely able to hold himself together, “I want you to fuck me.”
In the next second Hannibal’s cock is spilling thickly onto his stomach and Will is overwhelmed by the awe of Hannibal falling apart in front of him. But as much as he wants to catalog every detail of Hannibal’s orgasm he can’t because he is already following him over the edge, thrusting his hips and moaning Hannibal’s name with wanton abandon. He puts absolutely no effort into restraining himself, too caught up in the soul deep pleasure that has his cock jerking again and again.
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Over the next few weeks their wounds heal completely and there are no more bandages to pointlessly change. But it doesn’t matter because now they can delight in touching all they want without any need for pretense. Will relishes in their intimacy more than ever before and he reasons that it’s mostly because it’s on a completely different level than ever before. Nothing could surpass their emotional intimacy and attachment, but adding the physical intimacy makes their emotional connection even stronger and has caused them to meld even more. He has a latent instinct to be afraid of what it means to be this closely joined with Hannibal, but Will knows what life is like without him and it’s not something he’s willing to do again. They are bound together for better or worse and he wouldn’t change that even if he could. No one can change it now.
“I can hear you thinking Will.” Hannibal says. They’re in bed yet again because Will loves having Hannibal naked in the sheets. Aside from the obvious reasons he can also never seem to get enough skin on skin contact. Every night they sleep naked and tangled in each other because Will has a deep-seated need to feel Hannibal as close to him as he can get. One definite advantage being that he finds sleep easier than ever before.
Will burrows even further into Hannibal’s arms, no longer conflicted by the knowledge that he never wants to leave them. “No matter what happens, we stay together.” He pulls back just enough to look at Hannibal. “Agreed?”
It’s not like Will is expecting a negative answer, and he says it mostly to make sure Hannibal isn't harboring any doubts about where he stands, but he is excessively satisfied by the look that comes over Hannibal’s face anyway. A mixture of love and pride and devotion. “Mano labiausiai vertinamas vienas. Of course.”
“What did you just say?”
“I love you.” Hannibal answers sincerely.
“Don’t be such a sap.” Will says with a playful smile, but he grabs Hannibal and kisses him pressing their bodies together tightly. Hannibal’s never outright said the words before, not that he’s ever needed to. Will doesn’t feel that there’s any need for either of them to say it. Their love is telegraphed between them nearly every moment of the day, saying it is almost redundant. “Is your compassion no longer inconvenient?” Will asks when they pull away.
“Compassion is not an adequate word for what I feel for you Will.”
He kisses Hannibal again tenderly before answering, “No. It’s not.”
They lie in silence for a while and Will can’t stop thinking about how even though he has never been more content in his life than he is in this moment, there is something missing. Only one thing which encompasses a great deal. “Hannibal?”
“Yes?”
“We’re completely healed now.”
“We are.”
“I want to.”
Will can’t see Hannibal’s expression from his place on his chest but he can hear the smile in his next words. He can definitely hear the knowing, amused tone that Hannibal couldn’t care less about hiding. “Want to what Will?”
He lifts himself up to stare into Hannibal’s eyes so the other man can see his sincerity. “I want to find a bad man.” He kisses Hannibal thoroughly, “And I want us to kill him.” Will kisses along Hannibal’s jaw and down his throat. “I want us to watch the life fade from him.” His hand snakes down and takes Hannibal’s cock, already half hard, in hand stroking him gingerly. “I want to feel life rushing through my veins as it rushes out of his.” He kisses Hannibal deeply stroking him faster and faster. “Hannibal…” He hisses in the other man’s ear scratching his nails down his throat and chest. “I fucking want to kill.”
“Will…”
“I want to hunt with you.” He doesn’t let up, stroking Hannibal’s cock fervently as they chase his orgasm. “Only you.” One of Will’s hands is gripped tightly in Hannibal’s hair, the other is gripped tightly around Hannibal’s cock while Will pants over his lips, “I know you want to taste blood in my mouth. Oh please Hannibal.” Hannibal lets out a loud moan and Will smiles wickedly. He knows how much Hannibal loves it when he begs. “I want to kill with you.” Will sucks and bites at Hannibal’s neck with abandon. He’s so close. Will can feel it broadcasted in every panting breath, every escaping moan and it feels like he’s close to orgasm too. “Come for me. Think of us reveling in bloodshed and come for me.”
Hannibal does exactly that, his cock throbbing in Will’s firm grasp as hot come gushes onto his hand. Will watches hungrily, devouring every sight and sound. He’s developed a fascination with watching Hannibal come, with making him come. There’s something inherently filthy about seeing Hannibal, who is always so in control, completely lose himself. Will takes immense pleasure in it, not to mention it gives him extensive gratification to know he is the only person who has ever seen Hannibal so unmasked and unguarded.
When Hannibal has some semblance of control over his lungs he kisses Will furiously. “Then let us bathe in the blood of the wicked. And delight in their suffering.”
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Hannibal likes to take the organs from his pigs while they are still breathing and the only problem Will has with that is that it means he will have to wait. He stands close and watches Hannibal work, removing the kidneys, liver and lungs and wrapping them in wax paper. Marco Alvarez is worthy of suffering and death at their hands. A serial rapist who squeezed through a loophole in the law and had been set free. Will watches the life fade from his eyes and feels like there are fireworks going off inside him. An intoxicating thrill is rushing through his veins at lightning speeds and he can barely contain himself waiting impatiently for Hannibal to finish wrapping the organs and putting them in a cooler for a lavish meal Will already knows he will eat. It’s not like he hasn’t done it many times already, unknowingly for all but one of them, and that had been his idea. Part of his great plan to further ensnare Hannibal into his trap. But in the end, it hadn’t mattered and he’d barely given it any thought afterward.
His mind keeps flashing back to that moment. The moment he plunged his blade into Alvarez’s flesh eviscerating him. The blood pouring over his hands and clothes. How many times will he relive that moment? Until the next. His mind automatically supplies and he knows it’s true. He’s wallowing in everything and even though Hannibal is going about his work carefully, he knows he’s not the only one doing so. Hannibal can feel Will buzzing next to him and is no doubt taking the deepest pleasure in it.
When Hannibal puts the last of the meat into the cooler Will grabs him by the hair and pulls him into a savage kiss, grinding himself against the other man’s groin. “Fuck me.” He says in something close to desperation. “Fuck me now Hannibal.”
Hannibal’s hands are already unzipping Will’s pants and pushing them over his hips. Will steps out of them hurriedly, his tongue never leaving Hannibal’s mouth while he gets out of his shirt faster than he ever has in his life. Hannibal takes off his own clothes and starts to lead Will to a chair on the other side of the room but Will pauses to pick up his pants and reaches into the pocket. He comes out with a small bottle of lube and looks at Hannibal with a feral grin. They race to the chair.
Hannibal sits down and Will immediately straddles him grinding their cocks together frantically. “So good. I feel so good.” Hannibal has the lube spread on his fingers and shoves two into Will without preamble. “OHHH!” He feels no shame at how needy he is, he just immediately starts moving his hips up and down on Hannibal’s fingers. “Ahhh! More.” Hannibal adds a third, probably too soon but Will is desperate and Hannibal is desperate right along with him. He stretches Will as fast as he can.
Will’s breath is ragged and he’s a slave to the raging need inside him. He knows the only way to ease it is to satisfy it. “Hannibal… need you. Need…. inside… PLEASE.” Will doesn’t have the breath for anything else. Thankfully he doesn’t need it because Hannibal’s cock is pushing inside him before he can finish his stilted sentence. Will can tell Hannibal means to ease his cock in slowly but he’s having none of it. As soon as Hannibal slides beyond the ring of muscle Will pushes himself down hard. Both of them throw their heads back moaning loudly but Will doesn’t stop to catch his breath and in a flash he’s riding Hannibal in earnest, fucking himself hard and fast on his dick.
“God Hannibal you feel so good.” Will proclaims staring down into Hannibal’s eyes. “This feels so good.”
Hannibal’s breath is rushing past his lips and his eyes keep closing of their own accord no matter how much he wants to keep them open, to admire the miracle currently riding his cock without mercy. Coherent thought long gone, all he can do is gasp and moan and whisper Will’s name like prayer. Hannibal didn’t pray before, but he’s thinking about starting, if only to give thanks.
“I want to fuck you.” Will says mindlessly, his hips stuttering.”I want to have you in every way you have me.”
“Yes.” Is all Hannibal is capable of saying because he’s about to tumble over the edge any moment now. The sight and feel of Will riding him wildly, unmindful of anything but his pleasure is too much for Hannibal to bear. He grabs Will’s cock and strokes it feverishly.
“Ahhh! Yes!" Will all but screams throwing his head back. "Hannibal! Come inside me. Come inside me so I can come inside you. I want you covered in blood and filled with my come just as you will have me now.”
In the next instant Hannibal gives a strangled cry and his cock explodes inside Will’s asshole filling him gloriously. The feeling of Hannibal’s cock throbbing inside him and the sight of Hannibal jerking and grunting underneath him is too much and Will goes right after him, his cock spurting as his whole body trembles and the spray of his release coats Hannibal’s chest and stomach.
He collapses against Hannibal boneless and panting. There is no sound other than their harsh breathing, no one in this world but each other. The fresh corpse on the other side of the room long forgotten.
When Hannibal has gained some composure he wraps his arms tightly around Will burying his head in the younger man’s shoulder with a noise of contentment. “You are a magnificent beast Will.”
Will huffs a sated laugh and replies, “I learned from the best.”