Chapter Text
It’s as loud as it gets here at the bar. Shouts sound from every crevice of the room and the clanging of glasses were heard about the twenty-fifth thousandth time in over the course of your shift that you’ve personally counted. They know not to get too rowdy, or they’ll get thrown out of the bar, the only bar on Musonia.
Things were as busy as it gets in your new job, though new isn’t exactly a good description for the occupation you were in.
How. How was it possible? You were once a Decepticon, so strong and mighty. Okay, maybe not as strong as the likes of Overlord but you were the greatest shooter. You were also very good at your words. You knew how to emphasize the struggles that most bots wouldn’t be able to configure and push it straight into their audials.
Well, that use of words was useless considering the situation you were in.
“Y/N, two orders of Hyper Distilled Metallica,” shouts Snivel, your impatient but humble boss.
You sigh. “Right to it, sir.”
As you pour the liquor, you see your own reflection in the glass, albeit a little distorted.
Cybertronian.
You were quite possibly the only robotic life form residing on this unknown little meteoroid.
It was awkward at first, presenting yourself to them as a refugee when clearly you were not. You had the branding of a Decepticon, the one who started all this mess. But to the eyes of most organic, Autobot, Decepticon, or neutral, you were all the same: the most hated race in all the universe.
You had no idea how your race was truly hated among common organic society.
Yet, they’ve treated you well that’s for sure. It took a while but eventually they’d warmed up to you and welcomed you as a stole away like the rest of them. They gave you food, a roof over your head, a job, and most importantly, an escape from your unsavory past.
That you really wanted to forget. You were hoping to move on, to forget him .
Though try as you might, some things aren’t so easily forgettable. They aren’t not when not when you’ve agreed to a conjunx endura with him , not when you carried a bit of him in a spark merge, and not when your life revolved around him so damn much to the point it was clouding your judgement to understand that the war should’ve been over years ago.
Once you were done making the cocktails, you plated them and called for the order to be served.
“Order 13,492!”
Huh, that was odd. The organic in question had not arrived to pick up their drink.
You called again. Nothing.
It was then that you turned around to see that the whole tavern had jumped a 180 and became the quietest it’s ever been. You eyed the patrons in confusion. Feathers fluffed and fur shooting high, they were scared. Their bodies were pressed back, almost as if they were trying to curl into a ball and disappear. Drip, drip, drip . Primus, you could hear the creaking of the pipes above that needed a good repair.
Snivel pulled you aside, his tail twitching sporadically, which either meant a storm was brewing or that danger was quickly and quite possibly, already arrived.
In fact, it had arrived.
No one was really expecting the door to open in such an eloquent manner.
…
It opened like a regular door but the figure that revealed itself in the process was something that sent cold, electrifying charges down your spinal struct. All those years of running away, all that time rebuilding the broken mech you had been for nothing. Suddenly, you wished you hadn’t left the Decepticon cause at all.
Tarn.
Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn! Tarn!
You knew it. They had come for you. You knew the day was coming and you’ve tried so hard to prepare for it, but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, not when your life was going so well, not when you finally found a place you could belong. No one in their right mind should be able to come into acceptance with the fact that they’d be tortured and mangled alive by a bunch of maniacal Decepticon dim witted followers.
You hold Snivel’s hands. It’s wet and so, so cold. He's begging you to do something, to save everyone. He wants you to do anything to keep these Cybertronians off the peaceful rock just because you are a Cybertronian. You gave him a frightened expression. What can you possibly do? You were nobody! You were a traitorous Decepticon, a coward. You weren’t relevant to the cause anymore! One ex-Decpeticon can’t change the tides of a war!
No. You were wrong. Of course you were wrong. You were wrong about all of those things.
One bot can change the course of history and you were more than that. Even with your insignificance of a presence, you had always to pull the strings in your favor.
When Tarn and his gaggle of goons approached you, he did so in an eerily silent way. He simply sat while his team waited for him from the side. With a mask on, it was nearly impossible to tell what was going on behind those deep scarlet optics of his.
“What do you want Tarn,” you whisper so quietly, even Tarn nearly missed it.
“You know what I want Y/N.”
“You want me to turn myself in.”
“How right of you.”
Tarn leans back on his chair. He hums a little tune and you know he’s doing it . He’s using his outlier abilities on you.
“A glass of Limberian Wine.”
Without thinking, your body moves of its own accord. It spins you around and leads you to the wine rack. Oh Primus, make it stop . You didn’t like it, didn’t like the lack of control. Even as your hands tremble to fight the control, your attempts were much too futile on whatever spell Tarn had placed on you.
You obeyed the symphony, pouring the drink and completing his request. To his credit, Tarn stops the tune and removes his mask only slightly to take a sip from the best vintage wine your pathetic bar had to offer. You dare not take a peek at his face and stood very still, hoping your very presence alone wouldn’t trigger Tarn to put a bullet through your processor.
Only a hideous monster would hide behind a mask and you had no doubt Tarn was as ugly as his occupation has made him out to be.
An irritatingly loud sip makes the bottom of your optic ridge twitch. Tarn was fucking with you. He was taking awfully long to finish his drink and it’s not like you’ve given him the whole bottle. He was clearly making you wait out the last minutes of your life. That motherfucking fragger.
At some point, Tarn decides he’s done playing around and slams his cup on the counter. It creates a domino of flinches, starting with you first.
He stands up, optics fixated on you.
You try not to shake but it was impossible not to. Tarn was practically looming over you. He made you smaller than you already were. You felt as if he was growing larger by the minute, and you know what, figuratively he was. There’s no escape from the gigantic menace in front of you. The only thing separating the two of you was the table splitting him from grabbing you by the throat and snapping your neck.
“So you’ve cleared everyone on the list then,” you breathed. “Everyone before me.”
Tarn blinks fondly.
“For the record, I have not.”
What? Even during your time as a Decepticon, you knew very well that the DJD followed a strict order for the list. They start with cowards, deserters, and the abscones then to defectors, traitors and finally, turncoats and renegades.
Which were you?
Whatever Tarn had planned wasn’t good, especially if he’d come looking for you.
You bit the bottom of your lip. It was foolish, but you voiced the hypocrisy.
“I should be honored you skipped everyone for me,” you say.
It came out a lot more sarcastic than it was meant to be. As the leader of the DJD, you guessed one could simply bend the rules to suit whatever malicious intention they had in mind.
Tarn chuckles a little at your attempt at a joke. It’s deep, rich, and silky smooth. It was the sound of velvet.
“While you may be right, I am not here to converse .”
Wow, who would’ve known.
“I am here to make a deal.”
You sputter. The arms you’ve wrapped around yourself hung numb.
Deal? Tarn making deals with you?
“I don’t believe it,” you say. “Quit messing with me and let's get this over with.”
“While it is noble of you to turn yourself in, I would highly advise you to listen to whatever I have to say .”
Lowering yourself to a stool, you prepare for whatever awaits you because Tarn was not known to play games.
Tarn circles around you, with his arms tightly held behind his back whilst keeping a close watch over your mannerisms. "I did not come out here to kill you, but rather offer a proposition."
"Megatron," he says at last.
The glass nearly drops from your servos but you catch it in time before you could make a fool out of yourself. Your servo clenches in uncharacteristic anger. You knew it. You knew he'd seek you out for that no good son of a glitch. Things had always revolved around him and you were drawn into the whirlpool that you wanted nothing to do with.
"Whatever me and Megatron had, whatever it was worth, it's over now," you spat in absolute malice. "We are done."
"I am not requesting you to consummate your relationship, I am simply asking for your aid in locating him. "
He needs help finding Megatron? Hmmph. You don't have the slightest idea where Megatron could've been, if he even moved planets at all for that matter. When you intended to cut all contact, you were intending to forget the majority of your past.
"It's been five years. Five years of absolute silence with no orders or initiatives."
There are two assumptions one could make for their dear leader: Starscream had taken power once again or that Megatron was finally dead from leading a millennia year war.
You know the latter was false because you would have felt it in your spark. If he had died, you would have felt it. There would be a sudden and maybe even chronic pain that would follow you for the rest of your functioning, begging you to go as well so you could reunite with your lost mate. You would have felt the symptoms of the Broken Spark Syndrome.
But Megatron was selfish and he wouldn't allow you the pleasures of simply fading away. He would never allow himself to be deactivated if it meant the domination of their cause.
“I’m not doing it for you,” you shout out of shared impulsiveness and stupidity. You cover your mouth almost as soon as the outburst.
Tarn raises an optic ridge. You refused him. You had the audacity to refuse him ! Tarn!
It happens so fast you don’t have time to give a proper reaction or a reaction at all. Tarn grabs you by the throat and slams you onto the table, creating a steep indent into the wood. You let out a high pitched gasp, holding back a scream from the tight hold that’s pressing you further onto the hard surface.
“I didn’t give you a decision in the matter,” Tarn hisses. His voice sinks into you like the canines of a turbowolf. You wince and struggle to no avail to remove the servo chaining you in a choke. Eventually you give up and let him hold you into submission.
Tarn reads the room. Boy if you thought everyone was scared, they were terrified .
The DJD leader straightens up and moves away from your disposed form. "I apologize for my display force but it would be a shame if the whole bar has to pay for your indilligence."
No. Way.
You get up so quickly to the defense of the bar patrons. Screw the resting pain you're feeling, Tarn wasn’t going to lay his servos on anyone.
To the relief of everyone in the bar, you’ve signed your life away. You know you shouldn't agree for your mental health, for your freedom but these were regular people. Someone needs to protect them! You breathe your barely contained fear. “I-I’ll do it. I’ll find Megatron.”
Tarn’s optics shifted into one of petty victory. “Well… I’m glad we’ve come to a much agreed conclusion.”
So that’s how you found yourself back behind Decepticon lines, though you weren’t exactly a Decepticon anymore. You’re stationed on one of the DJD’s assigned working stations.
It’ll take you months to find Megatron! The last time he’s talked to you, you made it sure you never wanted anything to do with him ever again.
That was a long time ago. You weren’t even sure where you’d begin!
Okay, okay.
Megatron was not on Cybertron which meant he must be either hiding or dead.
The last part strikes you as a little somber. You want to rush to his frame and tell him how wrong he’d been. You want to tell him he’s a fool for ever leading the revolution but you know there is some falseness to your statement. Trying hard to ignore the sudden surge of emotions, you focus harder to locate Megatron.
Maybe after you’ve tracked Megatron’s location, the DJD can be done with you and head off to finish their jobs. Though that still didn’t stick right with you.
–
“What?! You want me to go down to Earth?!”
After years of searching, you are almost certain you’ve traced Megatron’s location.
It was really simple actually. Though you’ve deleted every known way of Decepticon communications, even his comms, one message managed to avoid deletion. You were packing your bags only to discover a pamphlet with your face printed over it. Your mail correspondence was still there!
You skimmed over your form in disgust. You’ve really come so far from what you were going down the route of becoming.
Fumbling, you manage to log into your account. The website looked nearly identical to the last time you've used it. Same layout, same everything. There's an exclamation symbol next to the mail application, signaling an unread message.
You gulp. Here goes nothing.
It was a voice message.
God, you haven’t heard his voice in so long yet it's as rich and vibrant since the first day you were sent to him in the mines.
“Y/N, I know you’ve made it clear that you don’t wish to be contacted but I have something I really need to tell you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put all of this on you. I’m so, so sorry, but things have changed and I think I’m a little more understanding of what you mean when you’ve left me.”
Wow. That was so vague.
But you’ve got it. The message wasn’t sent too long ago, maybe a few years actually! Of course you weren’t going to message Megatron back but that was really helpful. He was probably still in those same coordinates where the message was sent. You’ve known Megatron to be the type to settle and exploit the shit out of a planet.
Which is why you're freaking out right now.
"You promised," you cried. "You promised if I found Megatron, the deal would be done!"
"Oh honey," Tarn chuckles. "I don't recall ever saying that, I said everyone else would be freed."
Oh that scheming son of a bitch. "No! No I'm not going to fucking Earth you slag eater!"
Tarn narrows his optics.
"Kaon," he orders. "Maybe Y/N needs a little encouragement."
Out of seemingly nowhere, Kaon sneaks up behind you, cuffing your arms together so that you're unable to make a run and transforms into his altmode, a god damn chair. It would've been funny to laugh some other time but Kaon wasn't no normal furniture. He was an electric chair.
You panic, urgently writhing, twittering, and twirling your arms and legs to break loose before the punishment is dished out but you underestimate the situation. A huge blast of shock courses through your body all in a singular go. All you could really do is let out a long scream. You can't focus on anything else but the horrible sensation that was currently killing you.
Oh Primus, after what feels like several minutes, Tarn gives the order to let loose and stop. The electrical impulses stop but you could still feel the heated metal and the steam running off your optics from your wet tears. You huff and puff, a cry somewhere in between making it absolutely known to all the DJD.
This is the result of Megatron's madness. They're all laughing at you. Giggling at the little voices you made and your itty bitty hiccups and puny whimpers. You feel the world spin.
Your servos twitch vigorously in the restraints. Tarn leans down, confidence radiating off his EMF field. Fucking bastard.
"I'm sure we have an agreement."
"Why don't you just kill me," you sobbed. "You already know the location of Megatron!"
"Ah but you forget that we, the DJD, must follow the order of the List. And need I remind you, we are nowhere close to the top five. Black Shadow, Deathsaurus, Sixshot, Overlord, and you ."
Of course, figures.
You shakily raise your helm. "So-so you want me to go down to Earth? And find Megatron?"
"Precisely."
"I'll need a ship. And a few months worth of energon."
"That can be arranged. If your task is completed, we may feel generous enough to take your name off the List."
Ohoho. Your spark pump skips a beat. That was a bold statement coming from Tarn, the same Tarn who strictly follows, enforces, and abides by the DJD guidelines. You're a little skeptical of the game he's playing but you wouldn't be surprised if Tarn bent rules to fit his own pleasures.
And that's how you found yourself on course to planet Earth of the Solar System and Milky Way Galaxy.
How are you feeling? Not exactly good. Cold pede is upon you and it's an incredibly nauseating feeling. That was perfectly normal. Anyone in your situation would be. People get nervous all the time when they're forced to do things they otherwise would not be doing.
What were you going to say to him when you see him? You can't just appear without an explanation but you can't say you came back for him because you didn't, you were forced to! You're not Starscream! You're not coming back to beg for forgiveness!
Ugh. Maybe you should give him Tarn's comm and leave the rest to him. Yeah, that sounds like a much better plan.
You count your days until you arrive on a tiny blue planet. It's about the size of a marble on your galactical star chart but time was running out for you as it grew until it was fully in the center of the screen.
Sighing, you descend the ship. As you are descending the atmosphere, you dully take note of the environment around. Lots of nature. So much green. Trees. Trees. More trees.
You had barely hit the floor when your first problems found you.
Something hits your ship. Who fucking hit your ship. Your security system already alerts you of an impending attack but not before you were able to pull up your defense systems. The computer zones in on the suspected targets: fleshy organics in their tanks and grenade launchers.
Without hesitation, you graciously offer them a warning shot and when they return the courtesy of a missile, you decide to go it even and pull out your attack turrets. With accurate precision, they destroy most of the military vehicles, wounding a couple of people, and who knows, maybe even killing them.
It leaves them horrified and grasping at straws which is what you always want in a battle, to scare the enemy. You can see them fleeing into the woods. You're not going to follow them in there, no, that's too risky.
No, the better option is to just wait around and see what happens.
You assume they've left to call for backup and they do. Up overhead you hear a storm of jets and attack helicopters. Ah, this must be the planet’s military.
This could continue for hours but you decide that being mature was the better option. You muster the friendliest smile an alien can give and raise your hand in negotiation. "Look, I'm only here for Megatron. You know him right? If you can bring me to him, I'll leave."
A torpedo blast from one of the jets was sent towards you, completely missing you and the point you were trying to make by an awful shot and hitting directly behind you, which by the way, was where your ship was docked. The look on your face immediately changes from tried warmth to cold confusion, shock, panic, and full on anger.
Well how were you supposed to leave now?! Your altmode isn't exactly flight friendly and you can't exactly comm Tarn because he was too far away. You were going to be stranded here with Megatron of all bots! You glance back at the wreckage, hoping at least some parts of it were salvageable.
…
Nothing.
Anger fumes within you.
They literally ignored you! Then they freaking destroy your only way off the planet!
"How dare you," you whisper before completely blowing up. "I'm going to KILL ALL OF YOU."
You meant it and you didn't mean it. Most of the time you could say you're a bot of peace but peace is not suited when the enemy doesn't want anything to do with.
You whip out your blasters and start firing and when that doesn't calm you down, you stroll right up to those horrified soldiers, pick up their vehicles and slam it as hard as hard as it can hurt with precision so accurate, you would give even Vos a run for his shanix.
The jets swoop in for backup, throwing their best missiles but even that is no use against what you harbor. You did not hesitate to grab one of them out of the air and fling it directly onto another. They both explode mid air.
Screw trying to talk things out! All your values learnt freely roaming the universe had disappeared for this one moment. You were so caught up with your emotions.
You breathe in a shaky voice before lifting a tank and tossing it.
Only, you don't hear the loud explosion you were waiting to hear.
You look up.
All of that anger, all of that strength you've just displayed drained out of you. You were caught in an act of irony. Your face is as cold as metal can get and your expression changes to one of embarrassment.
"Y/N?," Megatron whispers at last, like he's unsure if you're real and not the countless dreams he's had, wishing you were here .
But you are here. You are real.
And you're still as beautiful as ever.
You're standing there so frozen as if moving will cause your very frame to shatter into a thousand pieces.
When he moves in for a closer inspection, you snap out of your trace and quickly retreat a few steps backwards.
He frowns. Then he looks at the mess around him, the disaster you've caused. Amidst the fire, men are trying to rescue their fellow allies and escape the fire that had spread rapidly across the woods, turning the sky gray.
Megatron looks back at you. He doesn't believe what you've just done. He doesn't believe you are capable of violence. Yet he's received a distress call from GHOST to detain you !
"Y/N, did you do all of this?"
You growl, refusing to answer him.
He sees you reach for your pistol and points his fusion cannon directly at your spark chamber. You gasp. Megatron would dare kill you?!
"I see you replaced me," you scuff. "Only, this time with a gun that can't talk."
Megatron squanders that accusation. "I did not replace you. I never wanted to replace you."
"Lies," you cry. "If you didn't replace me, then you forgot about me! And if you didn't forget about me, you never bothered trying to care!"
Megatron stills. He? Never cared about you? Did he not take you in when you were at your lowest point in life? Did he not buy you out of poverty and put food on your table when he himself had none to eat in the mines? He did care. He always cared and he'll certainly never forget you if he remembers your very designation till this day.
"Y/N, you need to calm down," he soothes, inching closer to you. "You're letting your emotions get to you."
"I don't need to calm down!"
"This isn't like you. Y/N, have you seen what you've done?"
That's only made you grip the trigger harder. Tears are threatening to pour from your optics. You didn't think it took this little to make you lose composure but you should be giving yourself more credit when it's due, you were seeing your long lost conjunx after ten thousand years. It must’ve been the spark bond or something like that.
"Don't act like you know me! You were never there for me when I needed you! It was you who drove me away! So I think my reactions are justified!"
You have no idea how your words cut into Megatron like invisible bullets. It pains him a great deal to hear you in such a state of distress. This loss of control was abnormal to you. When you blow up, you don't usually resort to violence. Was this all because of him?
At this point you're just throwing a tantrum. You're pulling words out of your mouth to smite Megatron even if most of what you had was not based on any truths.
"You're right to be mad at me. I was not a good bot for a long time ago, you could even say I was tyrannical . I put the Decepticon cause before our relationship and look at the results of my grand scheming."
He continues. "But you want to talk, correct? Well I'm here now. You can say whatever you want to say, hurt me however you'd like but let's take this somewhere else and leave the civilians out of this. Please Y/N, please lower your blaster because you're going against everything you've stood for."
You blink.
Oh Primus. You didn't mean to- but you did, you did this with the intent to harm. You lowered your firearm and dropped it to the ground, frightened of what you’ve done. After all those years, you’d think you’d learn to give up your violent ways yet you reacted so strongly over Megatron’s simple presence. You look at the fear in their eyes. This was wrong. This was so wrong!
Megatron continues to talk. “That’s it Y/N, good Y/N. We can settle this without hurting anyone.”
Too busy distraught over the lives you’ve hurt, you barely notice Megatron inching his way too closely. Your consciousness kinda just blocked him out entirely, even if he was taking up the majority of the vision in front of you as you were hypnotized by the flames in front of you.
You did, however, feel when Megatron laid his servos on you and that causes you to react into a strong defensive stance.
“What are you doing,” you shout. “Get off me!”
“Y/N, calm down,” Megatron grunts. “Struggling will only make things worse!”
“I will if you stop touching me!”
You flail around in a desperate attempt to escape his iron grip, though that is proving useless when your frame is so lithe and light. So you tug, bite, spit. You scream and shout horrible things that were only reserved to push Megatron’s buttons.
It hurts him more than any blow he’s received and he wonders why you even came here to see him.
Megatron doesn’t want to hurt you. He’s trying so hard to restrain you, begging you to stop but it seems like anything he does simply makes the situation worse. He doesn’t know what he should do. All he could do is stand there, holding you, and listening to you.
You still for a moment when the clamp of a device touches your back. All you could feel is the sensation of Megatron's arms around your back and the warmth of his enormous frame. Your limbs grow paralyzed and oddly cold. You can't move! You can't feel anything!
The only thing you can do is stare into those apologetic optics of Megatron's. He's got a sorrowful expression, like he's sorry for what is about to happen.
Then you're forced into your altmode. The very same rifle that Megatron has used all those millenniums ago.
There are a couple of words floating through your head, but one of them rings the strongest.
TRAITOR.
Megatron approaches your neutralized form. Just because you can't hurt him doesn't mean he can't feel your electromagnetic field and that's probably the second angriest he's seen you.
"You did good, Megatron," calls the culprit from behind.
It's Optimus Prime. He's very much aware of the tragic relationship Megatron shares with you. He'd been called to provide extra backup for one "insane Decepticon" and had snuck up behind you as you were distracted by Megatron's charms. You could say he was doing the war lord a favor by desclating the situation.
Still, Megatron looks at your form with discomfort. It's no surprise he's not a big fan of the mode locks and even worse when they are used against his sparkmate, the only mech he's ever quite possibly loved. He feels your frantic panic attack as you try to break into root mode but nothing happens. He glances away in shame.
He doesn't want to turn you over to GHOST, but he knows what's to come. That doesn’t mean he won’t hold back his resentment of the idea.
"Tell me why I shouldn't defect right now and turn back to my old ways," Megatron mutters darkly under his shaky breath.
Optimus lays a servo on him. He knows Megatron wouldn't do that, he's already made his final decision when they lost the Allspark. "I know this is hard for you but you must understand, if we didn't do what we had been doing-why, Y/N wouldn't have stopped."
Megatron doesn't reply. He doesn't want to nor does he know what he should say to that. You did stop. He knows you're better than this.
"I'll work with GHOST, I'll do everything I can to ensure that they’re safe."
Megatron nods. He only has Optimus' words but he trusts him.
He returns to staring at you but somewhere along the lines he musters the courage to pick you up. When he sends a comforting wave through the spark bond, he receives absolutely nothing in return. He sighs heartily. Maybe this isn't a good time to reach out.
His thumb goes to rest on your grip and lower receiver. His head spins with numbed regret from all the memories that come flooding just by holding you. He remembers the countless battles and revolts you've allowed him to hold you and he remembers the day you two worked not as a pair but as partners.
But those days are over and they ended because he pushed you away. That doesn't matter anymore because you're back and Megatron has changed . He's better, stronger, and most of all, more understanding of everything around him. He'll prove it to you. He'll prove he's not the same mech that forced away so long ago.