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“Oya Shouyou, why can’t I tag you in this?”
Bokuto was sitting on the bench in the locker room, looking at his phone with a frown. Since he’d just gotten out of the shower, his hair was down, and it matched his mood so perfectly Shouyou had to stifle a snicker.
He walked over to ask Bokuto what he was talking about. It was a Twitter post, a short video of an amazing move they’d pulled off in practice. “When I search for your account, nothing shows up,” Bokuto explained.
“Huh,” Shouyou said. “Wonder what’s going on?”
“Hm, seems y’been shadowbanned,” Atsumu said, looking at his own phone. “Can’t pull up any a’y’r tweets. That’s too bad.”
“Too bad?”
“Yeah, I been enjoyin’ ya thirstin’ on main,” Atsumu cackled. “Y’re embarrassin’, y’know that?”
“Embarrassing?” Shouyou repeated. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done to be ‘thirsty on main,’ unless—
Atsumu read the moment of clarity that suddenly washed over Shouyou’s features. “There y’go.”
“Oh fuck.”
“Are we talking about the Kageyama posts?” Sakusa asked, walking out of the shower fully dressed. How he put on socks and shoes without slipping and tripping, Shouyou would never know. “They’re softcore porn at this point.”
“I liked the one about his nipples,” Atsumu shrugged.
“His eyes,” Bokuto offered.
Atsumu was nearly jealous. “His sexy, talented hands.”
“His ass,” Sakusa added.
“His fuckin’ sets.” That one was definitely jealous.
“His balls, and I don’t mean volleyballs?” Sakusa said with a frown, before covering said frown with a mask. “I don’t know why you were obsessed with how hairy his balls were?”
“Or how low they—”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Shouyou said, his knees going weak for some reason. “I get it.”
“So now y’r banned,” Atsumu shrugged. “It’s y’r fault, really.”
“For being horny.”
“For being publicly horny,” Atsumu clarified.
“I would say, for being obviously horny,” Sakusa said, putting his bag over his arm.
“What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with being horny,” Sakusa shrugged. “There’s just ways to be less obvious about it.”
With that proclamation, he swept out of the locker room.
Two hours later, Shouyou was back at the dorms, unable to concentrate on his dinner.
What the fuck was a shadowban? Why did Shouyou get one? What did Sakusa mean when he said there were ways to be less obvious?
Shouyou put his half-eaten bowl into the sink and went upstairs to knock on Sakusa’s door. He needed answers, damnit.
He also needed the world to know about Kageyama’s hotness, he supposed. But that was neither here nor there.
Sakusa answered the door with a grimace. “Hinata.”
“Sakusa.”
They regarded each other for what felt like a full minute, before Sakusa decided to try talking. “Can I help you?”
“God, yes, please,” Shouyou nearly begged. “Can I come in?”
Sakusa looked as if he’d much rather not have Shouyou in his apartment.
“It’s about thirst tweets,” Shouyou said. “I guess we could talk about it out here—”
Sakusa grabbed him by the front of his jacket and dragged him inside. Damn, he’s strong.
“Take off your shoes,” he grunted, leaving Shouyou in the genkan.
Shouyou was already toeing off his sneakers. “Geez,” he muttered under his breath.
“Close your eyes.”
Shouyou choked as Sakusa sprayed him down in a cloud of antibacterial aerosol. “What the fuck?”
“Okay, you can come in,” Sakusa said, walking to his couch.
“You saw me take a shower,” Shouyou grumbled, following him to the living room.
“I don’t know how clean your clothes are.”
Shouyou had never been in Sakusa’s apartment before. The layout was the same as his own, but everything seemed cleaner, brighter. The framed pictures on the wall were all at right angles. There were coordinating throw pillows on the couch and accent chair. A bowl of weird ball-skeletons on the coffee table.
Shouyou thought of his own place. His couch was from a thrift store. He didn’t even own a coffee table.
Sakusa’s apartment was an adult’s apartment. Good, because Shouyou needed some—ahem—adult help.
“I need to know what you meant about being less thirsty. Well, less obviously thirsty.”
“Fine,” Sakusa said, pulling over his laptop from where it was closed on his coffee table. “Come over here.”
Shouyou sat next to him on the couch.
“The first thing you should do is make an alt account. Do not do this shit on your main.”
“Got it,” Shouyou said. Maybe he should be taking notes. His eyes bugged out of his head as he watched Sakusa bring up his Twitter handle. “AtsumusThighs28?”
Sakusa had enough shame to blush. “The next thing you have to do is make sure you post at least once per day. That way, you don’t look like a fake account, or a bot, or scammer.” He pulled up a blank Tweet. Shouyou watched him type out a post.
“Dear @ miyasetter13. I’d love for you to crush me with your thighs. Step on me like one of your French girls.”
He clicked the button and posted it.
“Like one of your French girls?” Shouyou repeated dumbly.
Sakusa shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter what you post. Just make sure you post at least once per day. Oh, that reminds me…”
He pulled up his desktop. Shouyou saw a bunch of labeled folders. Sakusa clicked on one that said “Atsumu.” There were many, many folders inside that one. Shouyou didn’t have time to read the labels on them, before Kiyoomi was clicking one called “NSFW.”
“Let’s talk about properly labeling your content,” Sakusa said. He clicked an image thumbnail, that showed a screenshot of one of their games, when Atsumu bent down to retie his shoe. He dragged it onto Twitter, and then clicked “edit.” “Since I’m going to be absolutely filthy about this,” he said, “I’m going to flag the image as inappropriate.”
He clicked the little flag and the button that promised “sensitive content.”
Then he started typing. “I’d like to be the shorts in charge of keeping this beefcake contained,” he wrote. “What a life.”
He followed up the statement with multiple sweaty emojis.
“Wow, there’s an art to this,” Shouyou whispered, as Sakusa sat back from the computer, as if to say, “any questions?”
“There is,” Sakusa agreed. “If you’re smart about it, you don’t get banned.”
Shouyou scratched at his chin. “Does Atsumu know?”
“That I lust after his thighs?” Sakusa asked. “Yes.”
“Does he know about the account, though?” Shouyou asked.
There was a telling silence.
“Thank you for your help,” Shouyou said, standing and walking to the door. “I think I get it now.”
“You’re welcome,” Sakusa said magnanimously. “And if you wouldn’t mind…”
“Your secret’s safe with me, AtsumusThighs 28,” Shouyou said.
Shouyou picked up his phone to create his new account, but there was a message waiting for him.
Kageyama: Oi, dumbass, what happened to your Twitter?
Shouyou gulped.
>> What do you mean?
Kageyama: I can’t see any of your posts anymore.
Shouyou made a noise that could best be described as a squeak.
>> What???
Kageyama: all your tweets. About my ass n hands n stuff
Kageyama: your whole username is like gone
Kageyama: did you delete it?
Shouyou almost fell over. Not only was he shadowbanned, but Kageyama had seen it all. All the posts that had gotten him banned in the first place.
>> I, um…
He didn’t know how to finish the sentence. How could he explain that he’d been too “obviously thirsty?” It was a concept he barely understood himself!
Kageyama: do you not feel that way after all?
Kageyama: did you not mean it?
>> Oh no I definitely meant it
Kageyama: okay good.
Good? Shouyou was confused.
>> Did you … like the posts?
Kageyama: sure
>> you didn’t think they were too thirsty?
Kageyama: drink water if you’re thirsty, moron
Kageyama: hydration is important
Kageyama: you’re a fucking athlete, you should know this by now
Shouyou was nearly offended, before he realized the implication of Kageyama’s words. Kageyama didn’t mind the things Shouyou had said. He’d liked them.
>> Kageyama?
Kageyama: yeah? You okay?
Shouyou took a deep breath. Writing a text message should be easier than posting a tweet to thousands of people.
>> I really meant it. I like your hands. And your sets. And your ass and your eyes and … basically everything about you.
>> I like you.
Shouyou put his phone face down on the couch, and threw his head back to the ceiling. He took five deep breaths.
Kageyama: what?
Kageyama: wow
Kageyama: Hinata?
As Shouyou looked at the messages, his phone rang. An incoming call from Kageyama Tobio.
“Hello?”
“Why weren’t you answering me?” Kageyama said. He sounded like he was frowning. Shouyou could imagine his tiny lips in a pout.
“I want to kiss your pout away,” Shouyou said.
“What?”
“I want to lick the sweat from your abs after a game,” Shouyou continued.
“That would be pretty salty.”
“I want you to sit on my face, so I can eat you out until you scream,” Shouyou said.
“Fuck, Hinata. Not after a game for that one, right?”
“Yeah, dumbass, but you’d need to shower first,” Shouyou smiled.
Kageyama huffed a laugh. Shouyou imagined his smile, the quiet, nearly shy one. “That’s fine, then.”
“Yeah?”
“As long as I get to do it to you, too, yeah,” Kageyama agreed. “I’m down.”
Shouyou squawked. “You mean I could have been fucking you this whole time?”
“I guess?” Tobio huffed another laugh. “I liked reading all the things you liked about me. All the things you wanted to do to me. It was hot.”
Shouyou giggled. He felt high as a kite. “Okay. When’s our next game?”
“Three weeks, I think.”
“Then it’s on.”
“Sounds good,” Kageyama said. “Look forward to actually doing all the things you said you’d do to me online.” His voice lowered an octave. “By the way, you should follow me back.”
“You have a Twitter too?” Shouyou asked in disbelief. “This is the first I’m hearing about it.”
“There’s a reason for that, dumbass,” Tobio mumbled.
“What’s your account name?” Shouyou asked, grabbing a pencil and turning over a junk mail envelope.
“ShouyouSlut21.”
Shouyou choked on thin air, as he snapped his pencil in half. That earned him another breathy laugh.
“Once your account’s back up, check it out. It’s only fair you know what I want to do to you, too.”