Chapter Text
once upon a time michele morrone decided to drink glue.
but when he got the bottle of glue instead of there being glue was a very small version of homelander. homelander had mistaken the glue for milk so he drank the entire bottle of glue. michele shook him out of the bottle in which the homelander grew back to his normal size. "what the fuck was that for" homelander asked.
michele didnt answer. homelander began to cook himself some more milk but then out of nowhere lancer from the 2018 indie game made by toby fox emerged from the milk jug that homelander grabbed. he then decided that lancer is his son now.
but then susie deltarune and butcher the boys tv fell through the roof. they looked at each other then both screamed “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT SUSIE/BUTCHER WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE” before they both got up as if nothing happened. butcher then began screaming the lyrics to 夜に駆ける by YOASOBI. susie joined in. michele concluded that the two shared a single brain cell. he decided that he had enough of this shit and went out to transform into his superhero (villain) persona that is the italian don Massimo.
zote, however, was not okay with this. he tried to stop massimo by reciting the 57 precepts. from under the ground, bob the builder is making his way to massimo's house, decided that he is not paid enough for this and quit his job to become a villain along side massimo.
“what the fuck theyre making more supe “terrorists”???” butcher sighed. Homelander accidentally set michele's house on fire while cooking some milk because hes a sore loser who is not good at anything. “i can do whatever i want” homelander smiled despite him setting the house on fire. "oh my god not this shit again." butcher sighed but then they all heard rumbling noises from the outside. zote was spinning fast enough to shake the earth. so fast that he summoned a demon who is thankfully clothed. his name was dr sex.
"what who are you" dr sex asked "and how did i get here who the fuck are you people". massimo decided that he is also way too tired for this shit and start using his epic mafia superpower to fly away with bob the builder whos supe name is now builder the bob. butcher and susie then decided to chase after them on skateboards. "god damn these skateboards are too slow" susie complained. homelander followed behind them also on a skateboard despite being able to literally fly. "why. are you following us" butcher asked with a deadpan voice. homelander replied to him with only one word, “skamtebord.” lancer was also following behind him with a turbo skateboard (which was just a skateboard with its wheels on fire).
out of nowhere doraemon from the manga doraemon appears out of a pink door and asked if they need help. they all said no and then doraemon exploded (WHYYY NO DORAEMON). butcher was now holding a crowbar which now somehow was a magic crowbar similar to susie’s axe. instead of the move being called rude buster its now rude butcher. because yes. during their very slow skateboarding trip to catch the supe they met a peculiar man named Michael Morbius. “who is this man why is he everywhere” butcher asked. morbius then made a fighting stance; he was about to morb. butcher and susie prepared to use rude butcher. "its no use, you're nothing compared to my morb, and unfortunate for you it's morbin time." Morbius said threateningly. butcher and susie swung their weapons and let the purple rude buster arrows fly. morbius dodged the attacks and then the two others found themselves to be inside a white box. "goddamit where the fuck are we again?? and where the hell is lancer and that weird milk guy????" susie yelled.
“homelander. cunt’s name is homelander.” butcher corrected her. the door to the box opened, and asriel from the 2015 game undertale stepped in. “olright why the fuck is there a goat standing on its legs now” butcher asked. "wait havent i seen you before?" susie said. "hello there" asriel greeted the two confused people. not susie nor butcher hesitated before swinging their weapons at asriel. "wait wait im not your enemy i swear!" asriel exclaimed quickly. "my name is asriel dree-” butcher and susie cut him off by attempting to clobber his head. asriel sighed and blocked it. "i am asriel dreemurr and ive been trapped here in this box ever since i died 3 years ago, or presumely died anyway" "holy fucking shit arent you kris' brother who goes to college or some shit?????????" susie screamed at him. “well now i kinda feel bad for tryna clobber you earlier." asriel's face was puzzled.
"no who the hell is kris my only sibling is chara but they're dead lol” butcher wasn’t listening that much. he was looking for the box’s exit. “dude what are you doing????” susie questioned. “i’m finding us a way out of here. and yes we’re bringing the goat.” butcher answered. out of nowhere reginald hargreeves appears and starts explaining the theory of the multiverse to them. "holy fucking shit did that guy just pop out of thin air? and you're telling me asriel goat right here is from another universe??" susie yelled while pointing her finger at reginald's face. reginald nodded. "ok that's interesting and all but can you tell us the fucken way out of here old man?" butcher asked. reginald pointed to the left and then upwards. butcher and susie both gave him weird looks. "you're telling us to fucking fly? but none of us here know how to fly." susie questioned, her eyes bore into reginald's eyes.
asriel step up. "dont worry guys i still have the weird vines power when i was holding my friends hostage i can take yall up." before asriel could work his magic, homelander swooped in and grabbed both susie and butcher then flew upwards. "what the fuck let go of me you fucken cuntball" butcher yelled, trying to free himself from homelander’s grasp. in the box, asriel sighed and said to reginald, "i guess we're stuck here together til the end of time then." “HOMELANDER WHAT THE FUCK THE PURPLE GIRL AND I WERE TRYING TO SAVE THE GOAT.” butcher said calmly.
“oh ok then bye lmao” homelander then let go of susie and butcher. they landed right on top of reginald. no fall damage was taken. "oh wow that looks painful" asriel marveled. "i'm glad you did not land on top of me or i would have died for real." "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OLD FUCK IS HE ALIVE???" susie said. "i think hes dead lmao” butcher said, going through his coat pocket. he pulled out two vials of green liquid and two syringes. susie stared at what he was holding. “are you a drug dealer” she asked. “no this is temp v this shit gives you superpowers” butcher replied, grabbing susie’s hand and placing a vial and syringe in it. “sick” susie grinned before immediately injecting it into her veins. “OW JESUS” her eyes then momentarily glowed purple. butcher then punched susie, launching her across the box. “KID ARE YOU OK?” butcher yelled/asked. susie got up unscathed before giving him thumbs up.
suddenly madeon appears out of the sky and stole susie away before disappearing again. "WHAT IN THE FUCKEN HELL JUST HAPPENED" Butcher asked while shaking asriel's shoulder harshly. "i dont-" asriel muttered before they both are knocked out. They woke up in a forest at night along with susie. "DAMN IT THIS IS THE 3RD TIME ALREADY WHA-" susie got cut off as a voice rang out. "greetings liberals" the man said as he stepped out of the trees.