Chapter Text
The tip of Minho's nose was freezing. It was already time for winter to start showing its first signs, driving out what he considered to be the longest autumn of his life.
He pulled his scarf up, covering half his face as he groaned. In between classes he used to stay in the teachers' room, correcting tests, setting up exercises or just listening to music while enjoying the coffee machine. However, today, his feet were restless, his hands didn't seem to do anything right and the walls of that place threatened all to fall on top of him.
That's why Minho decided to take a walk in the free time he had until his next class, without a certain destination in mind. He just needed to give space to his scattered thoughts. If he stayed a second longer listening to the other teachers' meaningless chatter about troublesome students or hearing the screams of children in the hallways, he swore he would implode.
God, what was happening to him?
The man laughed at his own thoughts. He was going crazy, he felt eighteen again as he went through his first relationship breakup. But he didn't remember that it was this bad. Maybe because he was in the beginning of his youth and because he was leaving to study in another country too, focusing on getting to know another culture and going through new experiences. It wasn't a very long affair either, just the end-of-high-school kind of relationship where both people are just curious about the unique feelings that come out of nowhere. He was sad at the end, but he remembers more of what a good experience it was, and those are the only memories that occupy his mind about it.
But now, in his late 30s and having never spent his adult life single since returning to his home country, Minho was lost. Ending a relationship at that age provoked bad feelings that he never imagined he would feel in his life. He wasn't feeling like him at all because lately he'd been terrified of loneliness. Arriving at his apartment to find everything dark and empty. He was no longer sharing the bills, sharing dinners and sharing the bed. He hated routine breaks and this situation was ruining his days.
He understood Jisung's motives, because it was those same routines that they fell that made them forget the reason why they were together. Every day they did the same exact things, sex and kisses became mechanical actions, Minho too busy with the schools he taught and Jisung staying up late at night working at the music company.
" I don't even remember your smell anymore when I'm away, Minho " was what he said, and Minho knew it was true, because even when Jisung was busy, he was still the one who made the most effort to pick up the rest of the mess they left behind.
God, middle age was closer than it was far now. Would he be alone forever? How to start over at this age? Minho has always been so independent, maybe this feeling of not being able to pick up his pieces alone was what was making him so distressed.
His feet moved on their own as he drifted off into his daydreams. He walked without paying attention in the cloudy weather of the city and, when he realized it, he didn't know where he was. He looked at the watch on his wrist and saw that he hadn't walked ten minutes, he couldn't be so far from school. But he didn't recognize the street he was.
Shit, he thought, looking for some landmark that might bring back some memory of that place in his head. He had left his cell phone at school so he couldn't even look at the map. The icy wind was already starting to bother him when he noticed a small place at the end of the street. He approached the place little by little, thinking of asking the first person who passed in front of her for directions, but then he took a closer look...
Was that… a record store?
"Wow, how old-fashioned. In what year are we?" he chuckled to himself, walking towards the place. The yellowish lights inside were inviting and showed, from the window, an organized and comfortable store. He didn't think twice before opening the door, hearing the tinkle of the bell above his head announcing his arrival, a new customer. He sighed in relief at the warm air that hit his face, he couldn't stand the winter breeze killing her mood anymore. He glanced around, taking in the shelves filled with stuff. He wandered among them, looking carefully at the titles, completely forgetting why he was there.
That was very curious. He recognized some bands from his adolescence, where he listened with his classmates during breaks and when they skipped school. Also from the time when he was in Japan and looking for stuff from Korea because he was really homesick. He went through the foreign CD section, picking one up and looking carefully at the titles on it.
“Do you like Japanese music?”, a voice behind him said, making Minho jump in fright. He heard the man's low chuckle, making him mad. When he turned around, he finally saw the person's face. He was nearly his height, but he had more muscles in his arms and upper body. His hair was black and a little curly and he had a silly little smile on his face, the kind that doesn't show any teeth. But his nose was pretty.
In truth. He was entirely handsome. Too much, even.
“If you want, I can help you finding what you are looking for” he continued, and then Minho realized he'd been silent until now and that the guy worked there then.
“This is not for me, but for my children, see?” he pointed to the kanji on the cover, reading it normally. " Children's Songs , that's what it says".
“Oh, so you speak Japanese… hm, your children?” he slightly raised his eyebrow as he looked at him with bright, dark eyes.
Minho couldn't help but be entertained, letting out a light breath through his nose.
“No, no, no. It's not what you are thinking. I'm talking about my students. I’m… a Japanese teacher in kindergartens.”
"Oh, I understand. I'm sorry I was so indiscreet,” he replied, letting out a chuckle. It was pretty, Minho thought. He liked pretty laughs. “It's just that you look my age. Well, not that it's impossible to have kids now, but.. well, you know what I mean" he explained, scratching the back of his head.
"I understood, don't worry. And how old are you, by any chance?” Minho chuckled in thought, walking past the man and looking at other CDs. In fact, he was more than old enough to have children, He and Jiisung even talked about it before everything started to fall apart.
A bitter taste threatened to spread inside his throat, but he took a deep breath.
“I'm twenty-three,” he said. “Almost twenty-four, to be honest,” he replied, following Minho through the CD hallway.
“Well sir twenty-three, I'm twenty-nine” he looked back, smiling at him. "Almost thirty, to be honest."
The man's two eyebrows were up this time, only for him to let out another laugh, this time more audible and sincere. Prettier than the other one, in Minho's eyes. He was really handsome. He had the youthful glow surrounding him, the kind of thought-provoking and comfortable, the kind of aura that he thought he himself had lost a long time ago, even if he was still young too.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm being a terrible employee, just asking the wrong questions. My name is Chan, sir twenty-nine years old ”, he joked, mocking Minho's speech.
Clever , Minho thought.
“Chan,” he murmured. “I'm Minho”, he replied, bowing his head slightly in greeting and watching Chan do the same.
“So, Minho… how can I help you?”
“I'm just taking a look, actually. Don't be mad at me” Minho said, looking to a CD that put his eyes on the bottom row of the shelf. “A record store is almost vintage these days, you work in an interesting place”.
“Well… family business, I'm helping while I go to college, saving some money for later. My sister takes care of here in the morning and I arrive after classes, nothing too complicated.”
Chan watched Minho crouch down, picking up a red-cover CD.. The older one had the body expression of someone curious, exploring, even with a serious face. The black hair on the top of his head glowed red too under the yellow lights of the store, as did the CD cover.
“You do like japanese songs then” Chan said, paying attention to his movements, also curious about the man in front of him.
“Yes, I do like it” he replied, touching the object's cover with his fingertips, opening and carefully examining the glossy white CD in its sleeve. “I listened to this band a lot when I… lived in Japan. Studying, like you.”
Minho's voice got lower as he spoke, and Chan realized that he was slowly sinking into his thoughts. And, in fact, the eldest had been filled with a short wave of nostalgia, revisiting some sensations coming from memories he hadn't thought about for years, when he still wasn't with Jisung.
Those sensations weren't bad, he sometimes forgot about those good things he had experienced.
"That's great. To have lived there, I say. I went to Japan with my father once, it's an interesting place”, he commented, following Minho in the short steps as he looked at more CD's.
They were silent for a few moments. Chan looked more at ease, leaning sideways with his arms crossed on a shelf as he amused himself by watching Minho explore the collection, out of the mechanical posture of an employee of being on hand to help, but still showing that he could be helpful if Minho asked. The older one calmly ran his eyes over the titles on the wall, muttering things about what he saw that Chan couldn't understand.
Incredibly, Minho wasn't bothered by Chan's company, an almost stranger. Maybe it was his attitude as a friendly employee that urged him to get to know the store more because it was a familiar place to him, maybe it came from Chan's nature, he didn't know. He just knew that, lately, he couldn't get along with anyone's closeness. In the words of Seungmin, his friend, he had been unconsciously isolating himself for over weeks.
“I don't listen to much Japanese music, to be honest. I end up being in the niche of our country-west songs” Chan said, seeing Minho staring at him with some disbelief.
“You have very good things to discover then, Chan. They are all near you here” Minho smiled in the direction of the other, a short smile, raising the two CDs that he had in his hands near his face. The one with the red cover and the children’s songs-one.
“You're right, I've explored a lot here, but there's still a lot untouched by me. Do you want to buy it?” he asked, seeing Minho nod his head. “Follow me, please,” he said, already turning away as he gestured with his hand for the man to follow him.
Minho followed him, but did not look at the discs this time. His eyes were glued to Chan's back. They were wide, the muscles poking through the long-sleeved white T-shirt he wore. He should go to the gym, university students have more free time than kindergarten teachers with a lot of chores and children to take care of. His eyes went up to the skin on the back of his neck, milky, almost as white as his own, highlighting the short black hair that sprouted there. It looked…soft. He wanted to touch there and...
God, what was he thinking? A man he's just met, six years younger. The truth is ever since Jisung went away, Minho refused any and all kinds of insinuations and contact of that kind. It's too soon , he thought and thought, watching time slip through his fingers until it was too late, without realizing it. Seungmin would be happy to know that there he was, interested in a new person. No, actually, Chan was just handsome, he was just finding him handsome. Yeah, there was no way not to notice the man, not when his scent of a light parfum left a trail on the path Minho was following too…
They reached the counter at the back of the store.
“Minho?” Chan called, smiling. “You can give it to me, I'll pack it for you. The kids will have new songs, then” he smiled. Minho couldn't help but slightly lift the corner of his lips as well.
“Yes, these terrible children. They take away all my peace and make some white hair grow on the top of my head. And they are not even my children” he replied, looking around the place while Chan was laughing of what he had said. “Are you alone here every day, in the afternoon? Don't you feel lonely?" he asked, almost as if he was forgetting his own situation.
“Not much, actually. We have a lot of people here on the weekends, there are still many CD collectors out there. But during the week it's always like this. It doesn't bother me, I don’t have to work a lot and I can study and listen to a lot of music.”
“But not Japanese rock” he said, and Chan laughed. Minho was happy.
"Well… not yet” he said, handing the bag over to the other man when they were done with all the payments and everything else. “Don't you want to see anything else? I can help you explore here, I don't know some of the contents, but I know where all of them are” Chan asked, leaning over the counter, resting his chin on one of his palms.
“No… I'm late” and looked at his wristwatch to distract himself from the sight of Chan's arms and gaze, seeing that he really had only ten minutes until his next class. Chan walked with him to the exit door, opening it for Minho and leaving it behind his back, so it wouldn't close.
They waited for the bell above their heads to stop ringing.
“Uh, how can I ask this… do you know the way to the nearest school?” he scratched the back of his neck, listening to Chan's hearty laugh.
“Were you walking without looking the way, Minho?”, he asked quietly, seeing the tip of the older's ears briefly turn red when he looked at the ground for a few moments. “I don't know what was on your mind, but… lucky me you ended up here then.”
Chan found it extremely cute that Minho looked up in a grimace. He laughed.
Minho, on the other hand, was discredited. Had he just flirted with me?
“Look, go ahead three blocks in that direction and turn to the right. Continuing straight ahead, you will arrive at the school that I know. Is it the one with pink walls?” He asked.
“That's right, thank you very much,” Minho replied. “I need to go, but first, take this” he put his hand into the bag of the store Chan just gave him, taking out the j-rock CD and handing it to Chan. “Thank me after listening, I know you will. I'm really late.”
“You're welcome… hey, how do I return your CD? I don't even have your phone number” he asked quickly seeing Minho already walking away on the sidewalk.
“We’ll see,” he replied in a louder voice, wanting to laugh. He turned to look at the youngest, who was still in the doorway. "Bye Bye."
And he took longer steps because if he was late, those little demons would turn the room upside down.
As he walked, a shy adrenaline threatened to run through his body, a different adrenaline, with a familiar taste he hadn't felt in a long time. When he arrived at school, he took out the cellphone he had forgotten and opened the conversation with Seungmin, starting an audio message.
“A funny thing happened…”
__
Minho's cell phone vibrated nonstop on the kitchen counter when he picked it up and saw Seungmin's name on the screen, wanting to Facetime. He grumbled as he set the device upright, towards him, accepting the call and going back to cutting the vegetables he was going to eat for dinner.
"Minhooooo! I know you missed me, you never accept my video calls" he called excitedly.
Seungmin was his friend for years now. They met each other in high school in extracurricular groups, because they weren't in the same class due to their age difference. He might seem like a more clownish guy with harsher words, but he was great company and a good listener. Minho had a great sense of responsibility over him, too.
"Goodnight to you too," he said, hearing Seungmin imitate him in a thinner voice. “I'm cooking, and you only call me when I'm not in the mood for video calls.”
“I mean, always. But I called for something specific, it's not often that we have news like this one from you. Tell me about the story you were talking about earlier today."
"What are you talking about?" Minho pretended confusion. "I already said everything by message, there's nothing more to tell."
"You're so boring, bro. What was it again? A guy who works in a record store, then? Very cliché of you, are you sure you haven't seen a movie about it and ended up dreaming with this plot?"
“I'm hanging up,” Minho replied.
"Calm down” he laughed. “I was kidding man. And when are you coming back there? Is he handsome?"
"Beauty is relative. He's handsome, not that it matters. And I'll go back there on Monday, I ended up forgetting something there" he said. He didn't say that he had purposely left something with him. But He just wanted to show Chan a good band, that's all.
"Forgot something there? Wow, terrible. An old trick just like you. You're rusty, bro."
Of course Seungmin wouldn't believe the excuse. And old ? He was only two years younger than Minho
“Now seriously, my super dear friend. It was something different, wasn't it? You sent me a message right away. It's been a while since it all happened, don't you think? It's scary to see you in that situation, so out of character.”
Minho didn't answer, just continued chopping his vegetables.
“You always took care of us a lot, no more depressive thoughts now, take care of yourself too. I'm tired too, you know."
The eldest sighed in a little sad way. Seungmin was the couple's closest friend. In fact, he was the one who introduced them when Minho returned from Japan. When he and Jisung broke up, Jisung moved in with him temporarily at the same time Seungmin had to console and go after Minho by himself as he knew that his friend would not comment or talk about it with anyone, closing himself in a dome. Seungmin ended up helping with more issues than Minho thought he would need help with.
“I know, Minnie, I'm sorry about that” he said without looking at his phone, hearing an 'okay, okay'. “I was excited earlier, but now I'm not so sure. It was the first time in a while that I'd been in a flirt-situation, if I can call it that. The truth is that I don't have the patience for certain things anymore, maybe I'm just too old” he said seriously and mumbling in his characteristic way.
He was so, so unsure that the heat of the new situation had scrambled his thoughts earlier today.
“Fuuuuck, I was kidding, kidding!! You're not old, you're twenty-nine, not fifty, bro. You were very comfortable with the situation of being in an easy relationship, that is the truth. But now you have to chase what you want, and it's not like it would take a lot of work, either. From what you said, he seemed interested in you too. Calling him for coffee is pretty easy,” he said, listening to Minho cook, without answering. “If you continue like this, you'll go crazy alone in this apartment like a caged animal. Even your cats will not handle you anymore."
“Okay, it was a harsh thing to say” he replied, pointing the knife at the cell phone.
"You crazy bastard!" Seungmin replied, laughing out loud. “Do not attempt against my life, I am being your guardian angel and mentor in this new situation.”
“There is no situation! It was just a mistake. And I didn't ask for your help."
"Just accept it! It's not like you need to think about it too much. There was a physical attraction, the two of you can take advantage of it and maybe be good friends. That's all."
Minho had been chopping the same carrot for so long it was almost turning to dust. He took a deep breath, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Think about what I said. I have to go, just text me if you have good news. I love you!" Seungmin nodded.
"Disgusting" he replied. "Bye" he said, waving back and seeing the call ended screen after his friend pressed the button on the other side.
Minho took one more deep breath. He took the next vegetable from the basin of water. At the first movement, however, he aimed right at the tip of his ring finger.
"Fuck!" he growled, dropping everything and putting his finger to his mouth in an almost childlike instinct.
He looked at the cut, seeing the red liquid drip quickly. It hadn't been deep, but it is amazing how those little wounds bleed a lot. He walked into the bathroom cursing himself, reaching with one hand for the first-aid kit hidden in the back of the closet. He sat on the toilet lid, cleaned and bandaged himself, looking down at his finger wrapped in a small, simple bandage.
Baby, you're so good to me.
Jisung's voice filled his head. He laughed in a breath through his nose, Jisung was the clumsy one and always needed bandages after using the kitchen, and Minho who did them all for him.
The apartment was suddenly too big and Minho felt tiny. It was so silent in there that all that filled his ears was the sound of water boiling in the pan in the kitchen, preparing his dinner.
But by that point, Minho had already lost his hunger.
–
“You're distracted, man. Why are you staring too much at the door?” Changbin waved his hand in front of Chan's face, trying to call him back to planet Earth.
“What?" Chan asked, looking at him. “ You two are distracting me. And get off the counter, Binnie. If you break something, my father will kill me”, he complained, pushing his friend from where he was sitting.
"Hey! I, Felix, am studying. You really seem out of orbit”, he said looking at Chan. “And you, my dear…” Felix pointed his finger at Changbin's chest. “You need to pass this test, so you should pay attention to what I'm doing too.”
“ Ouch , baby” he replied, taking Felix's index finger and kissing the tip. “Don't be so hard on me, please.”
“Then study. You're the one who needs better grades.”
“Will you reward me?”
“Okay, okay, okay. That's enough” Chan interrupted his two friends before Felix could start talking. “I already know where this conversation will end and I'm not at all interested in participating. Every damn time I regret letting you study with me here.”
Changbin was his childhood friend, he's been with Chan since kindergarten and they even take the same course in college now. Felix met them at the beginning of graduation and fell in love with Changbin after a lot of passion and patience on Felix's part, always trying to get Changbin to notice him. Of course, Chan helped Felix a lot in this situation. He felt almost like a godfather to the two of them.
“Channie, Channie, relax man. You are also in need of someone. What was the name of the girl from last week anyway?”
“Um, which one? Our Channie has girls and girls at his feet every week” Felix laughed, not taking his eyes off what he was writing in his notebook.
“Listen to Felix, Bin. We need to study”, he replied, looking at the time on his cell phone screen. “By the way, forget it. Go away, I need to start cleaning up all the mess in here. I need to close in an hour.”
Changbin was going to answer him, but then the front door bell resounded, making the three friends shut up and look in the direction of the sound. Felix looked at Chan, seeing him a little surprised, being intrigued by his expression, which changed from embarrassed to bright in a matter of seconds. The air around his friend was different, and he remembered he had spent the day distracted by the door and with the feeling that he was waiting for something. Was Chan waiting for this client?
Felix was more observant than his boyfriend. He started to pack his and Changbin's things in silence.
“Oh, so you're closing already?” the man asked.
“No, no, Minho” Chan replied, quickly. "You may come in."
Minho then.
Felix went to Changbin's side, stepping out from behind the counter.
“Baby, shall we go?” he looked at his boyfriend with a sharp gaze, pointing his head in the direction of the door. “We can continue studying at home, you need to do more exercises for this test, let's not disturb Chan here” he said, pulling Changbin by the hand towards the exit. "Bye, Channie" he said goodbye to his friend with his sweet-Felix way of being.
Changbin nodded to his friend, allowing himself to be carried away by his boyfriend. As they passed the unknown man at the door, they bowed their heads slightly as they left. Felix noticed that he was handsome.
He is everything that Chan finds attractive , he thought, before leaving with Changbin.
They were silent for a few seconds before Minho looked at Chan, smiling.
"Hi, Channie ."
"Hi, Minho," he replied, laughing at Felix's nickname. He scratched the back of his head, a little disconcerted. "Sorry about that, they're my friends."
"I noticed," Minho said. "Are they from college?"
"I’ve known Changbin for a long time. Felix, the blonde one, I met in college. Anyway, they're nice, but they get on my nerves when they spend the afternoon with me here" he took a deep breath, looking into Minho's eyes and getting straight to the point. "You are quite a thing, huh? I didn't know when you were coming. In fact, I didn't know if you were really coming."
"You have something of mine. Of course I would come."
In fact, he reunited a lot courage all day to show up there after school.
Chan smiled at him and then turned, walking towards the counter. He heard Minho's footsteps start to follow him without hesitation. He went behind the counter, leaning down a little and reaching Minho’s CD.
"This…" he lifted it, shaking it and handing it to Minho. "It's sickeningly good."
"Did you really like it?", Minho asked, looking at the CD’s cover in his hands.
"Yeah, I really liked it. I’m not saying it to impress you," he chuckled, seeing Minho arch a dubious eyebrow in his direction. "I found more bands of this genre on Spotify this weekend, but this one has the happiest and least melancholic lyrics, their style is interesting."
"Yeah, I like them for that too. It's so lovely I can't sleep at night ", Minho whispered one of the songs thinking Chan wouldn't hear it, but it only made the younger look more at Minho, who was already distracted while starting to read the lyrics in the CD booklet.
Even with his face lowered, Chan's gaze traveled over every millimeter of Minho's face. His nose was beautiful and sharp. So delicate, compared to his. His round eyes were so black that they seemed to hold a few different infinities, which piqued Chan's curiosity so much… he also had dark circles around them. Was it from dealing with children every day? Perhaps. They gave a discreet and beautiful charm to his gaze, which was so deep and striking.
"Oh, what happened to your finger?" he asked immediately as soon as he noticed Minho’s hand.
"Huh? What?" Minho asked, confused, looking down at his hand and remembering the cut he had made over the weekend while cooking. "It's nothing, I just got distracted in the kitchen."
"It's dirty, Minho. Let me change it for you. I have some bandages and Band-Aids in the backroom."
"No, no. You don’t need to. I'm already going home" he tried to stop Chan, but he was almost at the back door.
"It'll only take a minute" he said aloud.
Minho leaned over and propped his elbows on the counter looking down at his hand resting on the wood, feeling embarrassed. The bandage he did was really terrible.
Chan was already back. He thought he was just going to give him the items, so he was surprised when the man took his hand and started to bandage the finger himself. He was so stupefied that he couldn't do anything, he just let himself be taken by the other's hand.
"It's not that bad, it's just a cut. I'll put just a band-aid on, how about that?" he asked, just looking up at Minho in a doubtful expression, his face a little more serious than usual.
He was showing a kind of genuine care that was almost making him look older than Minho. And for such a silly reason, Minho was so impressed, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he was feeling in this situation.
"Whatever you have there is fine. It's almost healed anyway. I told you dind’t need to do anything. I just wrapped it up before class today because we were going to be playing with paint. You know, me and the kids. We were painting some kanji and other kind of stuff…" he explained.
"You must be a great teacher, huh?" Chan said without looking at Minho, finishing putting the band-aid on his fingertip.
"Well…" was all Minho replied, too distracted by the touch of Chan's fingertips on his hand. Long fingers, thicker than his. And hot, so hot, against his icy hand. Where he touched it, he felt it tingle instantly. "We did some activities with the songs from the CD I bought here too. They really liked it."
“Good” Chan laughed, finishing wrapping the small bandage. “We have many more of these Japanese for Children here, we can choose the best ones for you.”
Minho nodded with a short yes. He waited, but Chan didn't let go of his fingertip with the new Band-Aid. They were both leaning over the counter now with their forearms on it. Minho adjusted his glasses with the hand Chan wasn't holding. He tried to look away, but Chan was staring at him.
"You know, Minho. I… wanted to ask for your phone number. To let you know about news at the store and that kind of thing. There are always new CDs and records coming, you might be interested in something."
"Oh, I get it. New items. Just for that?" Minho was trying to look confident, but he was almost shaking. Chan's fingers on his were driving him insane.
"Well…" Chan chuckled in his characteristic way, looking away from Minho and shaking his head. "I don't want to look too precipitated."
"Weren't you… about to close up the shop, Channie?" Minho arched an eyebrow at him.
The younger one let go of Minho's hand and stood up straight, laughing and scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
"You can stay as long as you want, feel free if you want to see more things."
"No, I need to go home. I have cats to feed," he said, seeing Chan smile as he mentioned his kittens, nodding a few times. "Um, can I borrow some paper and a pen?" he asked.
When Chan handed the things over to him, he quickly wrote down a dozen numbers, and this time he was the one who took Chan's hand, placing the small piece of paper in the center of his large palm.
"Here, so you can send me news from the store."
That same night, Minho came out of his bedroom bathroom after a hot shower. He was sitting on the bed drying his hair with the towel when the screen of his cell phone, on top of the bed, flashed. He picked up the phone, seeing an unsaved number with a picture of…Chan. He didn't think he would be that fast. What was so interesting about Minho?
Chan: hey :]
He stayed online, probably seeing that Minho was too.
Minho: Hi, Chan.
After he sent it, he saw that he had been too formal. Was he messaging like a teacher?
Chan: i wanted to tell you something
Chan: my dad and i are going to do the imported orders next week. a few thing will come from japan. if you want, i can order some cds you want. kind of a special order for you.
Minho: Hm, I didn't know you made special orders for customers.
Chan: well……
Chan: we don't. I'm opening a kind of… exception
Minho didn't notice, but he was smiling at his phone.
Minho: You're going to turn me into a collector.
Chan: hey, it's a really cool hobby, okay? and it suits you
Minho sent a link.
Minho: I like this j-rock band. Don't bother looking to much after CD’s of them. They separated a long time ago, but the physical CDs are beautiful.
Chan: oh, don’t worry. i'll look for you. im gonna listen to it too, by the way
Minho: I have something if you want it.
Minho: Here.
Another link, now from Spotify.
Chan: hmmm, a playlist of yours? thank you, minho
Minho: I made it this weekend, I got a little nostalgic after I saw the CDs with you.
Minho: It was a good time in my life.
Chan replied to that message, and the next one, and the next… Minho found that he wasreally good in conversations and talked about everything, and he always wanted his opinion too. They exchanged messages for a long time, forgetting about their obligations the next day, until Minho fell asleep with his cell phone in hand, being woken up by one of his cats in the morning. He didn't notice, but for the first time in weeks he wasn't bothered by the night's loneliness.
–
Minho was someone attached to routines. After returning from Japan and becoming a teacher, he felt this need for organization in order not to lose control of small things in his day-to-day life. He was so fixated on routines that he didn't actually notice when they formed. He only noticed them when they he was already there, doing the same thing periodically during the week.
That's why he didn't realize that visiting Chan at the store in some free school hours was also part of his routine now. He didn't go there every day, but when he did, they spent some time talking a lot or in silence listening to the music recommendations that one had for the other, giving their opinion afterwards. He had even taken activity from his students to show Chan, saying that even five-year-old demons could speak Japanese better than him. Chan just laughed and replied that it was unfair because they had an amazing teacher and he only knew the basics from animes he watched.
The flirtatious situation from the first and second dates slowly escalated, evolving into a shy and meek feeling inside Minho's chest that he refused to accept what it was. He thought he could sustain himself on friendship with benefits, that was his initial goal, but his bond with Chan was so natural that his intentions had changed too quickly. He didn't feel comfortable going down that path anymore, but he was so afraid of screwing up again that he forced himself to believe that everything had just turned into a beautiful friendship. He kept everything inside and pretended not to notice Chan's advances, he was afraid of losing him, because now he was getting used to having his company.
Minho was fucked up, soooo fucked up. He avoided thinking about it because he always endep up having headaches.
The days and weeks passed like this and Minho entered the final periods of the year. There were a lot of his students' activities to analyze and a lot to prepare at school for the children to enter their Christmas and New Year break. Chan was also busy with the shop right now in the end of the year, with people picking up gifts and that sort of thing.
He realized he hadn't spoken with him in almost two weeks, when he started to miss him. They weren't even exchanging messages, because Minho arrived so tired from school that he took a shower and went straight to sleep. He imagined that Chan had more customers every afternoon too. He also had all the college assignments to finish.
On Christmas Eve, Minho was alone.
Seungmin had stopped by earlier to see his friend and wish him a happy Christmas. As far as he knew, he was going to travel with Jisung and a few of their mutual friends.
Minho cooked something quick that we could eat tomorrow for lunch too. He sat in front of the television, with Soonie in his lap while he ate dinner watching the first Christmas movie he found. He thought they were all cheesy, but he remembered a few Chan had recommended.
Chris, Chan, Channie.
He had a glass of wine in his hand and had already drunk almost the entire bottle. His entire body tingled and he wasn't thinking straight anymore. Chan didn't get out of his head, he felt alone, he wanted to be close to him. Feeling cared for, having someone for him. He had already taken care of so many people in his life...
He took out his cell phone, typing in the best way he could to not show that he was drunk, letting Chan know that he was on his way to the store. He put on his coat and shoes and walked out into the cold night.
He didn't even think that Chan might not be there and was probably also spending Christmas eve somewhere else. He only realized his impulsiveness due to alcohol when he arrived in front of the place and everything was dark. He tried to look inside, putting his hands up and putting his head close to the glass, but it was dark and silent.
“Minho!” he nearly cried with relief when he heard the familiar voice, even if it was laced with concern. “By God, I thought something had happened, I ran out of Felix's house in a hurry.”
Minho looked over at him, feeling guilty seeing his slightly scared face and assuming he'd ruined his night. He didn't back down when Chan came towards him. He leaned his back on the store glass, letting Chan fit his feet between his, standing in front of him, protecting him from the icy and sharp breeze of the Christmas night.
"What happened? Are you okay?" he brought his hands up to Minho's face, holding him between his palms. “You are fucking freezing, Minho… were you drinking?”
He ignored Chan, burying his face in his warm chest, holding back tears. He didn't want to cry, he didn't know why he was close to crying. His throat was closed with anguish.
“Were you… feeling lonely, Minho?”
He didn't know if he was exposing his feelings too much. But the truth was that Chan was so careful and he already knew him very well. Including the bad parts of Minho. He was so tired...
“ Sorry ” he whispered, his voice cracking. He hated sounding so fragile, but he couldn't help it.
Chan cupped Minho's face, looking into his moist eyes as he caressed his cheek with his thumb. He approached slowly, testing to see if Minho didn't back off, getting a silent permission from the older man, who just held Chan’s shoulders tighter.
Chan kissed him on the forehead with his lips so warm… the ice on Minho's face seemed to melt. He kissed Minho's temples and kissed his eyes filled with tears. He was so loving and caring that Minho thought he was dreaming, afraid he'd wake up half-drunk on the couch at his home, alone.
But Chan ran his finger gently over Minho's mouth, alternating his gaze between them and the older man's anxious eyes. He pulled his face closer, touching their lips so lightly... the two moved before Chan cupped his cheeks more tightly and finally kissed him.
Minho allowed himself to purge all the bad feelings, insecurities and anguish that had been tormenting him for weeks. All he could think about now was Chan, Chan's warm kiss, Chan's body so close to his, Chan's strong scent everywhere, fogging his mind more than the alcohol in the wine he drank. It was the most tender and pure situation that he had lived in months.
They pulled away after a few seconds, remaining in the embrace and with their bodies glued.
“What do I do with you, Minho?” Chan laughed lightly. “What do I do with you when you come into my shop almost every day, confuse my feelings, disappear for days and then, out of nowhere, text me on Christmas Eve only to find you here, with the suffering face of a stray cat, leaving me with a broken heart?”
“I just… don't want to be alone anymore, Channie” Minho said due to the alcohol, but he was being sincere.
“Then stay with me” he said, simply. “What do you think? I've been waiting for you for a while now.”
Minho looked at him sincerely, trying to look for any lies or hesitation on Chan's face. But he's the one who's been running this whole time.
He didn't answer, just kissed him again. Chan hugged him tighter, gathering everything from Minho that had already been scattered and messed up for some time.
It was Minho's turn to be taken care of, Chan had been so patient this whole time, he wanted to reassure him about how he felt about him too.
"Hey, it's freezing out here" Chan whispered against Minho's lips.
"Yes. Where do you wanna go?"
"I live nearby with Changbin, but he's at Felix's house now. I would have been sexiled from there and slept alone on Christmas eve anyway."
"Poor you" Minho said, placing small kisses against Chan's thick lips.
"Lucky me" kissed Minho one last time. "Shall we go? I brought Felix's brownies for us to eat."
Minho looked at the bag on the floor next to him and then at Chan's face, full of happy feelings and expectations. He felt everything so organized in his heart, Minho was finally doing the right thing.
"Yes, Channie. Let's go. Thank you"