Chapter Text
Shang Qinghua would be lying if he said he didn’t see his second life ending somewhat like this. The world of Proud Immortal Demon Way was rife with dangers created by Shang Qinghua’s very own mind. Luckily for everyone involved, Shang Qinghua always has a backup plan.
But…there was a slight problem. His usual Plan B for saving his skin was currently useless.
Shang Qinghua didn’t even know why he was on this mission! He could practically feel the paperwork building, one potential trade deal after another in the Northern Palace, while on this forced excursion. His working theory is that Cucumber-bro smiled at the sect leader behind his fan and the man immediately folded to his mission request. A beast enthusiast, a war god, and a peak lord owed a favor by the owner of an enchanted forest walk into said forest looking for, uh, something. Not important enough for Shang Qinghua to remember when he didn’t even want to come!
Luo Binghe showed up the first night, all smiles and sharp teeth.
“Shizun! What a lovely surprise to see you here!”
“Binghe, greet your martial uncles properly,” Shen Qingqiu gently admonished behind a fluttering fan. Too pleased that his husband showed up, tch.
“Greeting Liu-Shishu…Shang Qinghua ,” Luo Binghe looked at Liu Qingge like his favorite chew toy and regarded Shang Qinghua as if he was sentient air. Lord Luo seemed to have warmed up to Liu Qingge while he was warming his bed. Shang Qinghua knew he would always be a traitorous bastard in Luo Binghe’s eyes. As if he wasn’t the one who threatened to destroy the sect in a Xin Mo induced obsessive rage!
They had been roaming up and down the dense foliage for three days and he was force fed dog food every waking moment. Shang Qinghua had been clued in by his spies (disciples) that Liu Qingge was seen a non-insignificant amount of time leaving the infamous Qing Jing bamboo house right before sunrise. Even if he was unaware of the gossip, his martial brother lighting up like the red night pearls favored by Sha Hualing every time Shen Qingqiu indulgently let Luo Binghe slip provoking innuendos at the war god would be a dead give away. Cucumber-bro was practically giggling like a schoolgirl behind his fan every time Liu Qingge stomped off with red ears.
Aloof immortal master, my ass.
Eventually, they stumbled out of the forest and into a picturesque valley. Shang Qinghua was immediately wary. Nothing beautiful in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way can be trusted.
“Luo Binghe! Fight me!”
Liu Qingge had reached his limit on metaphorical pigtail pulling from Luo Binghe after he had pointed out the war god sneaking into the husbands’ shared tent in front of Shang Qinghua's breakfast. The Demon Emperor looked back at Shen Qingqiu for his nod of approval before pulling Zheng Yang and facing Liu Qingge with a diabolical smirk. “With pleasure.”
Shang Qinghua sidled up next to a very distracted Cucumber-bro after taking inventory of their supplies. The fight had drifted towards a sea of multicolored flowers in the deepest part of the valley. Seeing his companion’s lack of reaction to the flora, Shang Qinghua assumed they were the harmless variety.
“So, bro, are you like, a throuple now?” He side-eyed Cucumber-bro who was hiding his flush behind a cleverly placed fan. Shen Qingqiu’s abruptly snapped his fan closed and whipped his head around at Shang Qinghua.
“What nonsense are you spewing, Airplane? This master suggests his shidi shut up,” Cucumber-bro seethed through his teeth. The last bit was punctuated with fan hits to Shang Qinghua’s sore shoulder.
“‘ What nonsense are you spewing, Airplane’ ? You must be joking! You and my son are definitely fucking the war god on the side. Be honest, you can tell Airplane. We’re all bros here!” Shang Qinghua mocked whispered behind his hand.
“SHANG QINGHUA!”
The battle paused long enough for Liu Qingge to eavesdrop in and find he needed to defend his, or more likely Shen Qingqiu’s, honor. Shang Qinghua’s life flashed before his eyes, managing to scurry backwards fast enough to dodge Liu Qingge’s attempt at delivering him several broken ribs. They ended up rolling on the ground like an unskilled acrobatics act before being sprawled out in the shape of an ‘X’ amongst a patch of yellow flowers. A haze of sweet scented pollen rose around them.
“Liu-shidi? Shang-shidi? Are you both alright,” Shen Qingqiu asked with rising concern at the scene.
Why is it suddenly so hot? Liu Qingge, were you an industrial furnace in your past life?
The lack of response from the two had Shen Qingqiu inspecting the flowers more closely. The color rapidly drained from his face. Luo Binghe, sensing a disturbance in the grounding force that is his Shizun, stepped behind him to place a comforting hand on his back.
“Shidis…not to alarm you, but you are laying in a patch of Mum’s Chrysanthemum. The, ah, effects are debilitating and it is quite fast acting. It’s best to, oh, Liu-Shidi what are you-,” Shang Qinghua, who was precariously smushed under Liu Qingge, could see the war god’s neck become slowly painted crimson throughout Shen Qingqiu’s little speech. He shoved off Shang Qinghua and made a run for it back into the forest with an embarrassed grunt.
Shang Qinghua managed to maneuver himself into a more comfortable position after Liu Qingge’s hasty exit, a “Liu-Shidi, wait!” and “Shizun!” echoing through the valley as he was left alone. His right ankle was definitely broken. Shang Qinghua didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He couldn’t open his mouth, so crying it was.
It’s not like Cucumber-bro didn’t know what this flower did! And he just up and left Shang Qinghua! The Mum’s Chrysanthemum was used in an explicit extra he knows Shen Qingqiu bought in their past life. Shang Qinghua threw it in for his readers who understood some English idioms, hoping they’d find the pun sort of clever. An aphrodisiac that kept the victim’s mouth shut and can only be solved by anal. Ha. Shang Qinghua got a scathing essay in the comments from Peerless Cucumber about ethics, consent, and respect for wife #543 while his scummier readers ate it up.
Not as funny experiencing it first hand. Especially being left to succumb to the poison as an afterthought to chase a pretty shidi. Leave it to Cucumber-bro to start a harem in the former harem novel!
Honestly? Shang Qinghua could understand. He would do the same thing for Mobei-Jun even though his King wouldn't be as enthusiastically accepting of his pillar like he’s sure Liu Qingge is with receiving the Heavenly Emperor and Consort's. But it still kind of hurt.
Just a bit.
Shang Qinghua could feel the cool amulet pulsing against his chest, none the wiser to its owner’s distress. He could not call on Mobei-jun for help. And there’s no telling when the Protagonist will calm his demon stamina enough to think clearly enough to get Liu Qingge checked over by Mu Qingfan. Shang Qinghua highly doubts they will remember he was there in the first place before that! Fire began to spark and spread rapidly through his meridians.
Fuck, this is starting to hurt!
Sweat was seeping into his robes and wet his temples. Shang Qinghua rifled through his robes. He thought, well hoped, he would never have to use his Plan C. The last resort. Shang Qinghua wasn’t even sure it would work. He never told anyone about cultivating a few other Sun and Moon Dew Mushrooms after Mobei-jun’s ascension. He needed a little reassurance, alright!
Shang Qinghua had learned the hard way. He can only trust himself.
As much as he liked his sect and loved his King(‘s face), Shang Qinghua knew their regard for him was on unstable ground. He had experienced abandonment before, it was not a new feeling for him. Shang Qinghua’s original parents’ disregard had led to neglecting himself in his first life. This instance of forgetfulness happened to be the one to kill him in the second.
A worn tailsman, an elaborate design that is sewn into each of his inner robes, was wrenched free and activated. Blinding white light rapidly expanded from the talisman.
Here goes nothing! God, this is going to be such a bitch to sort out if I survive.
In the Northern Palace, Mobei-jun heard the amulet kept close to his chest begin to creak and groan before breaking under his robes.
In the 8th year of the 32nd Emperor of the Demon Realm’s reign, the An Ding Peak Lord and Advisor to the Northern Demon King, Shang Qinghua, died of a qi deviation. The tragedy allegedly took place on a mission with his sect siblings and the Emperor himself. When the Qing Jing Peak Lord, Prince Consort Shen Qingqiu, and Bai Zhan Peak Lord, War God Liu Qingge, returned to their sect five days after their initial departure, the An Ding Peak Lord was reported missing.
The Peak Lord’s body was said to have been found cold in a field of pale yellow flowers. An opulent blue amulet kept under his robes was shattered, glittering pieces embedded into his skin. One of his hands was scorched to the point of exposing the bone beneath.
Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was grieving and unaware of the cracks beginning to surface under the pressure. A power vacuum had just opened up on a Peak whose inner workings were completely unknown to outsiders, even within their own sect.
A quarter moon later, the Demon Realm plunged into a civil war.