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Buck had just finished his shower, left his clothes on the dirty bin in the bedroom and was walking down the hall drying his hair, he looked into Christopher’s room to see the boy peacefully sleeping he smiled, the boy was cute, especially now when he was sleeping and the preteen angst wasn’t there, even though Chris didn’t have much of those.
Anyway, he went to kitchen to find Eddie holding a knife in his right hand and a slice of bread on his left, but he wasn’t doing anything, he was just staring at them as if they weren’t there, as if his mind wasn’t there.
So, he wouldn’t startle him Buck softly asked “Hey, you okay?” Eddie got a little startled anyway, he shook his head and looked at his boyfriend that was leaning against the threshold of the door a little worried
“Do you think I’m less masculine because I don’t fuck you?”
“Excuse me, wha... What?”
“Never mind!” He turns back to spread mayo on slice of bread
“Nope, you’re don’t get to ask that and not follow up with a reason why it came up?”
“Earlier I was wearing that flower crowed that Jee gave me at the park, this guy came to me and started talking some bullshit about me, asking if I liked to be the mom, it was a lot, I almost punched him. But then Chris called for me and he saw that there were a lot of people with me there and walked away, and I tried to let it go, you know. But now I was preparing lunch for Chris tomorrow, I'm always the one doing the things a traditional “ mom” does, I only bottom and it got to my head, and I know it’s fucked up” Eddie ranted and threw the knife and bread in the plate
“Babe!” Buck came and hugged him “Look, we’ve being dating for about five months you only came to terms about liking men a little over six, you’ve made great progress, but undo more than thirty years of repression is a long process and I’m so proud of you for it, so it’s okay to not always having the best reaction to something”
“I know and I just...” Eddie closed his eyes and turned his head pressing his face against Buck’s chest and crossing his arms, the blonde kissed his head and leaned his own against it
“Look, this is a terrible side of being who we are, as much as I’m glad that, you’ve never had to deal with that guy’s kind of bullshit, I’m sad about all the repression” Buck said and they both giggled “But what I'm trying to say is that you can’t let this kind of people mess with you heard like this” Eddie groaned and pulled back and took a step back leaning against the counter behind him
“I know that, and it's what pisses me off so much deep down I know that, but my brain goes to weird places before I can rationalize” Eddie said looking to their feet, Buck nodded and took a step closer so he could put his hand on his waist
“No” Eddie looks up confused “I don’t think you’re any less masculine because you don’t fuck me, honestly Eddie, if you asked anyone they would think I’m the bottom, maybe not Hen and Karen, because I don’t like to generalize them and maybe not Maddie, I talked to her about my standing on bottoming once, but I think she just spaced out, so it’s a fifty/fifty there” Eddie laughed a little
“But why? I know people usually have ideas on what goes on in a relationship between two men, but why?”
“Other then society and all that shit, have you been in a gay porn site? Most of the times it’s the white, blond, blue-eyed boys getting fucked, I think it’s because we’re usually the cute ones with daddy issues” Buck said flipping his inexistent hair making Eddie laugh once again “And if you leave that aside, you’re the more MACHO MAN between us, you’re the ex-military and only on that it passes top vibes, but you also like MMA fighting, you’re the ‘keep your emotions inside’ kind of person, me on the other hand, I hate violence outside of practice or self-defense, I’m always crying and trying to talk about my feelings, a little bit more and I would became a teenage girl” Eddie just rolled his eyes at that “But seriously if it gives you any anxiety don’t worry about it, people definitely think I'm the bitch in this relationship” Eddie shoved him away with his jaw a bit dropped
“I’m not your bitch!”
“You kind of are, but I love you anyway!” Buck said pulling him in for a hug and kissing Eddie’s neck and hiding his face in it after, they just hugged for a little while
“I’m better, thank you” Eddie said smiling and pulling back, he turns to wash his hand and Buck sits down, while the brunette’s returns to continue Christopher’s lunch “You really think people think you’re the bottom between us?”
“I don’t know why they would with your ass, but yeah” Eddie throws a napkin at Buck, who just laughs “Honestly, I don’t think they even think about that, and I hope they don’t actually, but if they did, yeah”
“Oh, I hope not either!” Eddie said laughing “I just don’t get it, you know? I think I never thought about it”
“Look, unfortunately, we live in a fucked up world. Where they like people to fit boxes, we’re already outside of it, both of us are muscular, manly firefighters, nobody would say we’re gay or bi, but here we are. We're already don’t fit in, so the boxes they find for us is the tops, bottoms, verses and whatever else is out there”
“And you think our friends think like that too?”
“I think they are all from another generation, and it pains me to say that of Hen, but honestly, looking back to my Buck 1.0 phase the only wrong thing I did was sleep with those two women on the clock and steel the truck for one of them, but other than that, I never lied to any of my partners, there was nothing wrong of me liking sex and party, I was 26, it was the time for those things. The only time someone complained of how I treated them was during the whole catfish fiasco, and our friends would judge and crucify me for it, they would say I didn’t respect women and that I was wasting away my life, I do love them, but they do have an old fashion way of seeing things”
“I never thought about that, you don’t like that version of yourself, so I never thought about it”
“I don’t like it, because I was taking it into a direction I didn’t like, I was lonely and would seek comfort in strangers, not because I thought it was wrong of me to have sex and fun. Since we met, I’ve been single longer than in relationships, do you think I was celibate during that entire time” Eddie looked at him a little surprised “No, I was having sex and fun, but in a healthy way, I just wouldn’t share it as before, so people could diss it or Maddie would start to worry and try to set me up, I’m still unsure if she was or wasn’t trying to set me up with Josh a few years ago”
“Josh? Russo? From dispatch?”
“The one! Maddie orchestrated a poker night just me, her, Chim and Josh. When he said that if he didn’t know any better he would think she was trying to set us up, she joked saying she wouldn’t do it with him, but I was suspicious and still am”
“Fuck that!” Eddie said moving to put the mayo in the fridge
“You still bitter about him?”
“No, I just don’t think I could continue this relationship if I found out he was another notch in your belt”
“Who says that?” Buck smiled “But we’ll both be glad that we have never even danced together, the most touch we’ve done was shake each other’s hand” Eddie finished putting all away and walked to his boyfriend straddling him
“Good!” He kissed him and Buck’s hand went straight to his ass pulling him in closer, after he teased enough Eddie pulled back a bit so he could look in his boyfriend’s eyes, he did love to call the blonde his boyfriend “We never talked about it, I’m not complaining, but I just would like to have a conversation about it, make sure we’re in the same page”
“Okay, what about it, you wanna talk about?”
“You said you talked to Maddie once about your stance on bottoming, but you never told me”
“I’m not a fan, I tried a few times, I always need too much preparation, and not in the fun way that I just drag along so I can tease you, if I don’t spend time on it, it will hurt, I found partners who would spend the time on it, just to get to the main event and I don’t feel barely anything from the penetration, I like prostate stimulation, but it’s the only sensitive thing back there for me”
“Seriously, but it’s so good when you fuck me!” Eddie said biting his lip and smirking, Buck grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, making the brunette arch his back a bit so their face was still a little apart so they could keep talking
“Careful, or I'll do it right here”
“Too bad the kid’s here, otherwise I'd let you” Eddie pecked their lips
“Anyway!” Buck smirked before continuing “You never fucked a man before, we could try if you want to”
“Nah, I’ve had asses before, some men are more boobs man others more ass, I think I’m more of a cock man” Eddie said sliding his hand to Buck’s chest and grabbing a handful of his groin
“Well, you’d be able to be a little more... rough” Buck takes his hand to the slightly older man’s hair and pulls it, leaving his neck exposed “And all the right body parts would be there to really turn you on” The blond kisses Eddie’s throat, making the other man close his eyes
“You just said you don’t get off from it, I wouldn’t enjoy as much because you wouldn’t, besides it’s not like I mind, you fuck me too well” Buck leans back and hold Eddie jaw, pulling it down and making him look in his eyes
“I do, and I will so well. Too bad we work in the morning or I would leave you limping”
“Well, why don’t you? That would put doubts in their minds of who bottoms and who tops”
“If I didn’t think it could affect your performance, I would” Buck said pulling his face closer
“Fuck you!”
“Nah, you don’t want to. You prefer a big cock inside you, fuck you open stretching you open like the little bitch you are” Evan puts his hand inside Ed’s pants finding him going commando and wet back there, he slips a finger in and gives a little tug up, just to tease as the motherfucker he was
“I love how romantic you are”
“You love even more how dirty I can be”
“I do, now take me to the bedroom, and fuck me, because if you’re not inside me in the next minute, I'm fucking myself with your toys” Buck didn’t hesitate before getting up with his boyfriend in his arms, Eddie crossed his arms behind Buck’s neck and just smiled, what? He liked that his boyfriend could pick him up like that.
Buck took more than a minute to get inside Eddie, but he didn’t go looking for a toy, Eddie liked being teased, his orgasms was always better after it.
Next day, Eddie wasn’t limping, but he could still feel Buck inside him every time he moved or sat. Nothing that would be able to bring others attention to it, other than Eddie’s himself, that remembered the rough pounding he received so that ache could be there, the control he had to exercise so he wouldn’t scream and wake his son, the few times he failed and Buck had to push his face down in his pillow to muffle it, well, remember everything about the previous night, basically.
“Do you think we should ask them?” Buck asked Eddie later in the day when they were having some down time, and it was only them in the couch area
“No!”
“Why not? I bet I'm right!” What they didn’t realize was that they weren’t alone anymore, Hen, Chim was getting closer with Bobby not far behind them
“I don’t disagree with you per se, but you said yourself, they probably don’t think about it, but if we ask what they think, they’ll think about, and I don’t want them think about it”
“Fair!” Buck said smiling
“That’s a hard logic to follow, what don’t you want them to think, and who is them?” Hen said catching their attention
“You don’t wanna know!” Eddie
“Oh, we wanna know” Chim said and the other three sat around them
“Them are you!” Buck
“What don’t you want us to think about?” Hen
“You don’t wanna know” Eddie
“I think we do” Chim
“Who do you think between us is the top and who is the bottom?”
“BUCK!” Eddie whispered/yelled
“I didn’t wanna know!” Bobby
“I don’t wanna think about it” Hen
“I don’t want you to think about it” Eddie
“Next time don’t tell us!” Chim
“Next time, you’ll just keep bothering me until I do”
“Be stronger!” Chim
“No, I think we all learned a valuable lesson here, we won’t ask next time” Bobby said being the voice of reason in that conversation
“Where is that bell when we need them?” Eddie says throwing his head back
“Buck!” Chim
“Hmm!” The blonde’s mumbles
“The bottom, it’s Buck!” Chim
“Díos!” Eddie says throwing his arm over his eyes and Buck just rolls his eyes smirking
“I think I agree, but for bets sake I would on Eddie!” Hen, they both looked at Bobby, who just raised his hand and shook his head
“So?” Chim asked the couple
“You don’t want to know!” Eddie said and turns to his boyfriend “And don’t tell them!”
“I would never”
“Is Buck right or wrong?”
“You don’t wanna know!” Buck said it this time
“Oh, I think we do!” Hen
“No, we do not!” Bobby said getting up and walking away, Hen thought better on it
“Smart man!” She got up as well and walked away, Buck just raised an eyebrow at Chim, who rolled his eyes and walked away as well, Buck looked around making sure they were alone
“It’s good to be right!” Buck said smiling, Eddie attacked quickly, grabbing Buck by his collar and pulling him closer
“You’re a fucking menace!”
“But you love me anyway!” Buck said, quickly kissing Eddie and standing going to the kitchen to make a smoothie for them.