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"Are you happy now?"
"I beg your pardon? I'm not the one who decided that we should be born in anime after the golden era of senyon, where you are, pies down me, older than me. And this is the first thing you say to me after all these years?"
"First of all, what I said first was "I missed you". Second of all, pies? Third, you have to tell me everything you remember about this anime. And fourth, you're Izuku. Remember that already".
"The fact that we speak English doesn't bother you, Kacchan".
"Don't be stubborn, our mothers think we're three years old and still learning the alphabet. And I'm Katsuki".
" ..."
"Ka-tsu-ki".
"Kacchan".
"And pies are the best thing in my life and something I'd rather pray to".
"You're unbearable".
"Think of angels if you've forgotten what unbearable really looks like".
("Except Cas".
"Of course".)
"Two seasons?"
"Three at best".
"You only remember two seasons...? Okay, okay, how many seasons?"
"There was supposed to be a fifth one coming out when I was dying, and there was also something else going on in the manga...I know spoilers a bit. I hope so. It could have been fanfics too...and don't give me your judgmental, long look, I didn't really like that tittle! Why do I need this anime? Look, if I want to watch superheroes, I'll turn on Batman".
"Not Marvel?"
"That's for nerds like you".
"Said the otaku".
"Hey!"
"Sammy, do you think if I fall on my knees in front of my mom, she'll let me stay away from this place?"
"You're being dramatic".
"Even in Hell, the screams were more euphonious".
"Izuku, this is a kindergarten. You can handle it".
"Dean..."
"You're not my mom, don't look at me like that!"
"Dean".
"He got into the fight first and I finished it. Those were my pencils!"
"Dean".
"Izuku, what kind of quirks do you think we'll have?"
"I hope we don't have any. I'm done, thank you very much".
"Likewise".
"Like-what?"
"Learn Japanese, please".
"Why does your face look like it did when Daddy gave you a dagger for your seventh Christmas?"
"Thanks for reminding me, yes. A much-needed memory".
"Kacchan?"
"Yeah, I'm fine".
"Sammy".
"...I've developed a quirk".
"And?.."
"It's the explosions".
"That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen. Look, what if, uh".
"I wouldn't blow up a kindergarten".
"I would never".
"Or a school. Or any other building".
"..."
"Seriously, Izuku."
"А!.."
"And to say: art is an explosion, I won't either".
"...what if you could blow up Ketch's face?"
"Anytime".
"I'm free!"
"We still have nine more years of compulsory education and three more years of high school, not counting college and uni... did you really throw salt at me? And... holy water, Izuku? Did you?"
"Hristo".
"I must admit, Japan's education system is extremely interesting and not so categorically demanding of us".
"Kacchan, in case you don't remember, the whole ass is in the middle".
"You just earned a reprimand".
"This woman can kiss my infantile ass, but I speak the truth!"
"They deserved it".
"Hey, I'm only suspended for a week".
"A benefit for all students".
"I have good news, bad news, and very bad news".
"Nothing out of the ordinary. Start with the bad news".
"Oh, my father abandoned the family".
"What?!"
"Don't panic, no sparks, lighter, or I'll have to run for the fire extinguisher. Again. My dad left with his stuff when my mom told him the news from the doctor. He has to pay child support, though, so Mom can take it easy for a while. And then I'll get a part-time job, mechanics are always needed".
"You're young for any kind of work. And, doctor?"
"Ah yes, a trifle, indeed. That's the good news: I don't have quirks!"
"..."
"..."
"Shall I hug you or what?"
"Yes, Kacchan, I'm not just standing here with my arms outstretched. Come on, come on, you won't break. Oh, thank you".
"Well?"
"М?"
"What's the "very bad news" of all this?"
"Oh, right! I'm gonna have to change schools".
"That's just unheard of chutzpah!"
"Yes".
"How dare they, it violates at least seven laws of international convention!"
"You're right".
"Even the laws of Hell and Heaven were not written as discriminatory as this piece of crap posing as a text!"
"Absolutely right".
"Chauvinism in all its forties twentieth-century glory towards the Jews. An impenetrable idiocy that will lead this one to parasitic hatred and contempt, a mutually acute conflict built on such an unstudied thing as mutation that can go away as easily as it came. Where is the research? Where are the arguments? No facts, no sense, just pathetic narcissists who..."
"Sammy, please, I was just expelled".
"You don't understand, Dean, that's real segregation, and where! In the 23rd century! They just expelled you because they think you're beneath them. Did you see the way the principal grimaced?"
"I was too busy trying to keep you from blasting him to the moon. Exhale, you've been on edge for the last four hours".
"Oh-ho-ho, I haven't even started yet".
"Oh gracious..."
"I assume you're finishing law school?"
"That's right. But I think I should choose political science".
"Well...my vote is always yours".
"I know".
"Did you really trade a good line on a crust for this shithouse?"
"That question isn't even up for debate".
("Sammy?"
"М?"
"Love you".
"Love you, too".)
"You're absolutely sure I can't kill anyone?"
"Yes".
"Even if they deserve it?"
"Izuku. They're children, you should be above that. Well... at least try".
"And if!..."
"You can't do that to teachers either".
"Tch".
"Can I shoot myself?"
"You don't have a gun. And it's not a challenge. And no, you can't. Those should even be my words..."
"None of this has ever come in handy for me when digging up graves or driving a stake into a vampire".
"Don't embarrass me and learn the multiplication table".
"I'll buy you a pie if you pass the test".
"That's where you should have started!"
"Do you think mom will be too upset if I don't go to senior? I can already smell the cuckoo going, and the gun store is always five blocks away with a non-functioning camera and a skimpy door lock".
"No. Just no. And yes, our mom will be upset".
"She's my mom, in case you haven't forgotten".
"Your mom is my mom and my mom is your mom, Izuku. Don't make things weird. And... are you crying?"
"There's a log in my eye".
"Oh yes, Izuku?"
"Kacchan?"
"What did you manage to steal from the armory?"
"Borrowing, Kacchan, it's called bor-ro-wing".
"Do you want law enforcement chasing us again?"
"I'm smarter than that, Kacchan, don't you know that. Those cameras weren't even real. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"...anything for me?"
"You're insulting your brother".
"How ethical would it be if this school just blew up one day? A gas leak in such an old building, stuff happens..."
"Well, I talked my mom into buying me two shovels for my birthday".
"You should have tried to stop me, Izuku".
"Why?"
"Really".
"Kacchan, Katsuki, Sammy, Sam..."
"Four forty in the morning, Dean...and why are you even in my room?"
"Came in through the window".
"It was locked".
"Don't be ridiculous, Sammy, a lock? Really?"
"Kami-sama, what do you want this early?"
"Two things. No, I'm lying, three. Or four...?"
"Dean".
"Oh yeah, long story short, I think you need to at least put up a minimal defense, I didn't even find salt on your doorstep, what do you defend yourself with anyway?"
"Hiding a knife under my pillow, obviously".
"Really?"
"No, only you do that".
"Hey! That's a very productive thing to do! And if someone breaks in, what do you use to defend yourself with?"
"Blow his head off".
"...reasonable. But put the knife down. I'll check it out".
"Whatever you say, Mom".
"The second thing, I've been realizing here, suddenly and unprepared, probably because we're ten..."
"We're eleven, Dean. You'll be eleven in six... ah, five days. Sorry, I got woken up out of my schedule by some crazy guy".
"Still can't get used to you being older than me..."
"Dean".
"Right-right, what's my point? Ah! You realize we're gonna have to go through puberty all over again?"
"..."
"..."
"And for that you woke me up at such an ungodly hour?"
"Ugh, don't mention Chuck to me. I hate Chuck".
"First of all, I'm thinking more of Jack when I say that. Secondly, why did you even bring it up..."
"Well..."
"Wait! Wait-wait-wait! I don't want to know!"
"I had a morning boner with no reason and no dreams, so..."
"Stop!"
"What's the third thing you wanted to tell me?"
"Oh! I'm gonna be a superhero".
("Do you really think we're fit to be heroes?"
"Why not? I've got the experience, I've got the shovels, I've got a dazzling smile, and I'll look good in a tight jumpsuit".
"I'm not..."
"Kacchan?"
"..."
"Sammy?"
"You...you really don't get it?"
"Not if you don't clue me in".
"Dean, you're... no, nothing".)
"Okay, if we're serious about considering heroism as an option for our future, then we, especially you, are going to have to go to high school..."
"Damn it!"
"...I've looked all over, only one school has a zero tolerance for discrimination and a pass quota for the quirkless is UA. A year of tuition will cost eleven thousand dollars or one million six hundred and thirty-six thousand yen".
"Kacchan, my brother, Sam, Samuel, Sammy, I've never seen money like this before".
"That's not quite right, remember when you were fourteen and your father took you hunting..."
"I don't remember my thirteen through seventeen years, thank you very much. Back on topic, how do I explain this to my mom? Our family isn't as rich as it seems. The old man has forgotten all about us since I was eight".
"And I'll sue him as soon as I can. But. There's good news".
"Go ahead".
"You can get in on the budget if you get more than a hundred and seventy points in the practice and written exams. I looked up the passing score on the practicum is forty-five, but you need to give seventy and pass the exams perfectly".
"...wow".
"And why are you squirming like that?"
"Oh, sorry, your faith in me blinded my eyes for a moment. Kachchan, where am I and the exams...? You brought the books with you, right?"
"I'm glad you know me so well".
"Isn't it too late to give up and become a car mechanic?"
"They won't hire you because of your status".
"Screw them".
"Absolutely, I plan on going into their economics and law program alongside UA's heroism".
"What are you...no, forget it, I'm not asking".
"So, brother, just don't worry, I'm fine, everything's normal, no one's even dead, and...."
"What police station are you in?"
"Oh, how badly you know me, you think I'd let the cops grab me?"
"Don't you dare say anything to anyone without your lawyer. You're a minor, and they have no right to!..."
"I think I accidentally shot their superman".
"You... what?"
"Grab a first aid kit, Sammy. Or a shovel".
"Well, congratulations, you figured out a national secret, made me figure it out, and nearly gave the poor man a heart attack".
"Here I am at his forty-four...."
"He's not you, Izuku. And... do you know how old the Allmighty is?"
"Who doesn't? He's hero number one".
"..."
"Don't you dare".
"..."
"Kacchan, Sammy, no, it's not like that".
"Fanatic".
"No it isn't!"
"Okay, well, today we're trying to pass the exam. Did you memorize the most important thing?"
"Don't crack a random kid's skull?"
"What? No, that goes without saying. I'm on social-social ethics and math".
"I'll try to pass English, Kacchan, don't ask for more".
" ...It's going to be a long day."
"Dean Winchester".
"Oh, that's a bad start. Whatever you think, it's not true and I've been set up".
"Why do I know you passed the written exam with the lowest score?"
"Look on the bright side, I broke the school record in practice!"
"About that. What did I say about sneaking grenades into the exam?"
"Proceed with caution?"
"Don't bring it!"
"Izuku, I beg you, don't scare the children".
"Calm down, I left my gun at home".
- And the knives?"
"..."
"Dean".
"I'm going to high school, Sammy! Don't leave me unprotected in front of these monsters".
"Those monsters are high schoolers".
"Hyenas in the form of children".
"It's gonna be a tough three years..."
"Oh, come on Kacchan, I'll just shoot everyone I need to before the story starts, don't worry".
"That's what I'm afra... you said you left your gun at home!"
"Do you hear that? I think that's the bell for class, you can't be late!"
"Dean!"