Chapter Text
Gin’s fingers dig into her arms as she waits for the doctor to close the door of the room she waits outside of. She knows that look. She’s seen it in the eyes of other doctors before. The one who had to diagnose her brother. The one who had to tell her that her brother is slowly dying. The one who had to tell her that there is no cure. This one, who undoubtedly has only more grief to lay on her shoulders.
“How long?” she asks, before she has to listen to apologies and formalities.
The doctor gives her that look again. “A year, give or take.”
Gin nods. “Okay. Can I see him?”
“Mhm. He’ll wake up soon. We’ll discharge him as soon as he’s on his feet again. I . . . I’m —”
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.” Gin pushes the door open and glances back at the doctor. “Just . . . just be there when I have to bring him back.”
“I will.”
“Thank you.”
Gin steps into the room and closes the door behind her. She doesn’t know how to tell her brother that he only has a year to live.
How do you say that to someone?
Atsushi ducks into the first room he finds whose door is open and shuts it quickly. He leans against it for a moment to catch his breath before turning to the blinds to peer outside and watch his doctor storm down the hallway, probably cursing him out as she does.
“Um, hello?”
Atsushi spins away from the blinds and stares at the room’s occupants, one sitting up in bed and the other standing at the nightstand. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I saw an open door and — I’ll get out.”
“Are you hiding from your doctor?” the one in the bed asks.
“Yeah. I’m getting discharged today, so she wants me on the treadmill one more time but I’ve had just about enough of that stupid thing already.”
“Physio?”
Atsushi taps his chest. “Heart problems.”
“Ah.” the patient gestures to his oxygen pipe. “Lung problems.”
“That must suck. Oh! Atsushi. Nakajima Atsushi.”
“Akutagawa. This is my sister, Gin.”
Gin offers Atsushi a warm smile. “You’re welcome to sit here. We’ll say you’re an old friend.”
Atsushi almost collapses in the chair Gin gestures to. “You’re being way too kind to someone who just barged into your room.”
“Sue us. We don’t get much entertainment in the hospital,” Akutagawa says. “The TV is shit.”
“Ugh, you’re telling me. I can only watch Titanic so many times.”
Gin takes a seat in the chair at her brother’s side. “How many times have you been here?”
“A couple, but I’m being detained for an unfairly long time this time.”
“Heart attack?” Akutagawa asks.
“Yup. I’d have been out of here on the third day if I didn’t have any underlying conditions that promise an untimely death, but unfortunately, I do. What happened to you?”
“The usual.”
“Overexertion?”
“Mhm. How long have you got?”
Gin slaps her brother’s arm lightly. “You can’t just ask people that,” she hisses.
Atsushi shifts in the chair and shrugs. “A while, but if I have to get on that treadmill again today, I will give up on the spot. You?”
Gin stiffens in her seat, her eyes shifting to the window.
“A short while,” Akutagawa says.
Atsushi hums. “Anything left on the bucket list?”
Akutagawa tilts his head. “I’ve actually never been to a cinema.”
“That is wrong on so many levels. Sinful. Horrifying. When are you getting discharged?”
“Tomorrow.”
Atsushi pulls his phone out.
“What are you doing?” Gin asks, drawn back into the room by Atsushi’s movements.
“I’m looking at what’s playing.” Atsushi glances up at Akutagawa. “You can’t die having never seen anything on the big screen. That’s practically a crime. Ooh, they’re showing an alien movie this weekend. Do you like aliens?”
“Uh — what?”
Atsushi rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna take you to a cinema.”
“You just met me.”
“So? You’re dying, I’m dying, we could form a support group.”
Gin opens her mouth to say something, stopping when Akutagawa laughs. She looks at him curiously.
“Well? Do you like aliens?”
“Not really.”
Atsushi hums and scrolls through the listings. “What’s your take on romance movies?”
“Blegh.”
“All right, action comedy it is. There’s a show this Saturday at two. Gin, are you good with an action comedy or are you more into romance? We can totally outvote him.”
“You’re gonna deny the dying man his choice of genre?” Akutagawa asks.
“Hey, I’m dying too. Just because I get to wear my own pajamas doesn’t mean you get to play the dying card any harder than I can. So, Gin, what’ll it be?”
Gin blinks. “What?”
“Well, you’re obviously coming with. I may know a bit about lung diseases, but I’m no expert. Plus, movies are fun with friends.”
Gin turns to her brother, almost as if to scold him, but whatever she sees on his face renders her speechless for a moment. She turns to Atsushi. “I like romantic comedies.”
“Gin,” Akutagawa almost whines. “Romance is boring!”
Gin sticks her tongue out at him. “You just think that because all you’ve seen in the last three days is Titanic and West Side Story. Thrice.”
“Oh, my doctor likes West Side Story,” Atsushi says. “She says it’s fun and silly.”
“Who is your doctor, anyway?” Akutagawa asks.
“Doctor Yosano. She’s really nice most of the time.”
“Oh,” Akutagawa starts, but doesn’t get to finish.
“I have been looking for you for twenty minutes,” the doctor in question snaps as she opens the door and shoots Atsushi a filthy glare. “Why are you harassing my other patients?”
Atsushi glances at Akutagawa. “You’re one of Yosano-sensei’s patients too? What are the chances!”
“You’re supposed to be resting,” Yosano tells Akutagawa.
“I am. I’m catching up with an old friend.”
“Bullshit. You’ve never met.”
“We have, though,” Gin says. “Atsushi’s in my media literacy classes.”
When Yosano rolls her eyes and looks upward as though begging the air for strength, Gin winks at Atsushi.
“I expect you back in your room by the time I’m done with my rounds,” Yosano tells Atsushi before turning to Akutagawa. “I’ll come in and check on you after, okay?”
Akutagawa nods. Both he and Atsushi give Yosano a cheerful greeting as she leaves.
“Want some company on the walk back?” Gin asks. “My brother’s due for a nap, anyway.”
“I’m not a toddler,” Akutagawa says.
“No, but you are confined to your bed and you were told to rest up. I’m just going to walk Atsushi to his room and I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Ugh. Fine.”
Atsushi opens the door for Gin and she gives him a warm smile as she steps out. He glances back and waves at Akutagawa before he leaves too.
“How’d you know I have a media literacy class — or, wait, was that a lucky guess?”
Gin rolls her eyes. “You are in my media literacy class. It took me a while to recognise you, but you’re the little shit that sits up front and has all the right answers and a load of smartass answers, right?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah. That’s me. What are you studying?”
“Information design. The media literacy class is an elective. You?”
“Media marketing.”
Gin gives him a grin. “So, I’ll design all the fancy products and you make them sell, huh?”
“Yup! What’s your brother studying?”
“Fine arts. It’s one of the few things he really enjoys.”
Atsushi smiles. “That’s nice. It’s good to have stuff that make you feel happy.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Gin asks, and the way she says it makes it feel like it came out of the blue.
Atsushi nods. “Sure. What’s up?”
“Why are you taking my brother to see a movie? You and I share a class, yes, but you didn’t know that until just now and you’ve never met my brother before. So . . . why would you take a stranger to see a movie?”
Atsushi sighs as they turn a corner and he can spy his room door. “The first time I had a heart attack, I thought it was a freak accident and I’d be fine after that. Lots of people get heart attacks and they can continue living normally for the rest of their lives. Then Yosano-sensei had to tell me I have a coronary heart disease and it’s not great. I thought it would be manageable for a good decade or two. Not curable, but treatable at least. But after this last one, Yosano-sensei had to sit me down and tell me that I need to be more careful because I could need surgery the next time I have a heart attack or I could just die on the way here. I know it’s not my place to say something like this but he just looks so sad. We’re dying, yeah, but no one said we had to mope about it.”
Atsushi glances at Gin when they stop outside his room. She has her arms folded and she grips her arms like they’re a lifeline. “I . . . I haven’t heard him laugh like that in over a year. He smiles at me often and he makes this little amused huff if I make a joke but . . . I haven’t heard him laugh or make his own jokes or even bicker in so long.”
“Hey,” Atsushi says gently.
Gin jerks when Atsushi places his hand on her arm, reflexively letting go of her own arms.
“It’s gonna be okay.”
“I’ve got one year with him. He’s dying, Atsushi.”
“We all are, in the end. I’ve come to accept my death. You look like you could use a hug,” he offers, raising his eyebrows slightly.
Gin looks at him a moment before she nods.
“C’mere.”
Gin hugs him like a child waking up from a horrible nightmare.
“Wow,” she murmurs. “Your heart’s beating really fast.”
Atsushi laughs. “That would be a side effect of the disease.”
“How can you be so happy and — and carefree and my brother. . .”
“We all take the news differently,” Atsushi murmurs.
“I should get back,” Gin says, pulling away and wiping at her eyes.
Atsushi nods. “Well, you know where to find me if you get bored once he’s asleep.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime!”
Akutagawa is surprised, to say the least, when Atsushi pops into his room during afternoon visiting hours.
He’s dressed properly this time, not in his little tiger stripe pajamas from yesterday.
“Hi,” Atsushi says.
“Hello.”
“Mind some company?”
Akutagawa gestures to the chair Gin usually occupies. “I thought you said you were getting discharged yesterday.”
Atsushi nods. “I did.”
“What are you doing here, then?”
“Visiting you!”
Something about Atsushi’s chirpy attitude is contagious.
“Oh.”
“I know how boring it gets in here and since I didn’t see any pain related drips, I figured you wouldn’t be sleeping through most of the stay. Therefore, I thought I’d come and keep you occupied for a while. Do you know when you’re getting discharged?”
Akutagawa nods. “Oh, I already signed the discharge papers. I’m just waiting for Gin to get out of class.”
“Oh! How long will that be?”
Akutagawa checks the clock on the wall across him. “Two and a half hours.”
“Well, I’m done with classes for the day and I have a car if you wanna get out of here right now.”
Akutagawa blinks. “What?”
“Unless Gin’s the type to worry if you go off on your own.”
“No, she’s not, but . . . you don’t even know me.”
“Dude, I’m taking you and your sister to the movies in three days. We’re already friends. Plus, dying folks gotta stick together, right?”
“You are unbearable.”
Atsushi grins. “I try.”
Akutagawa stares at him for a moment. “I’ll text Gin. I have a key to our apartment, so you can drop me off.”
“Drop you off?” Atsushi asks, grabbing Akutagawa’s bag. “Oh, no, no, no. You just got released. We’re going to celebrate. You can have ice cream, right?”
Akutagawa blinks. “What?”
Atsushi pauses at the door and tilts his head. “Wait, do you need help getting to the car? Do you just need a little help or should I get a wheelchair?”
Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “I don’t need help. I’m just . . . confused”
Atsushi smiles. “We’re dying, Akutagawa. No sense in spending the time we have left moping about and waiting for death. So, do you wanna get ice cream with me or do you want me to take you to your apartment?”
“I. . .” Akutagawa thinks that if he were to witness this entire scene as an outsider, he’d probably think Atsushi was being very pushy. But even if he is, Akutagawa wants to follow him. Something about Atsushi is so vibrantly alive that Akutagawa can’t help but want to stay as close to him as possible. “I like soft serve ice creams.”
Atsushi’s grin widens and he holds his hand out to Akutagawa. “I can work with that.”
Gin is absolutely furious when Akutagawa returns home, half leaning on Atsushi and half supporting Atsushi as they tumble through the door and struggle to get their shoes off before stopping in front of her, in the middle of the hallway.
“Where the fuck have you been?!”
“Gin,” Atsushi whines, clutching his head with the hand that isn’t gripping Akutagawa’s sleeve. “I have brainfreeze. Shh.”
“Don’t you shush me!” Gin snaps at Atsushi before she whirls on Akutagawa. “You said you were coming home with Atsushi!”
He shrugs and looks away from her furious glare. “I never said I was coming straight home.”
“Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Gin hisses. “I came home and found you not here and I panicked.”
“I’m allowed to have fun,” Akutagawa says, still looking away. “You can’t ban me from that.”
Gin blinks at Akutagawa. “You were out having . . . fun?”
“Yes, and now we have really bad headaches and my legs are sore so we’re going to take a nap and then order dinner so you don’t worry about cooking anything, okay?” Akutagawa releases his oxygen tank’s handle to pet Gin’s head. “There, there. Good night.”
Gin watches the two of them slip past her and follows to see Akutagawa practically throw Atsushi down on one of the couches before laying down on the other.
“That’s better,” Akutagawa murmurs.
Atsushi snickers. “You’re the one who wanted to take a walk.”
“It seemed fun in the moment.”
“I offered to bring the car around but you didn’t wanna wait alone.”
Akutagawa grabs the TV remote and throws it at Atsushi’s head. “It was dark and unsafe and I’m too diseased to be left alone on some sidewalk after sunset!”
“Hey, I’m diseased too!” Atsushi sits up to throw the remote back and misses, to which Akutagawa points and lets out a loud, “Ha!”
Gin watches all of this quietly. She remembers a time before Akutagawa’s diagnosis, when their friends would come over and they would all go out and Akutagawa would bicker with them just like this. She hasn’t seen her brother like this since they first found out his lungs were killing him.
She’s still pretty pissed that Atsushi didn’t bring him home immediately, but she can’t deny that she’s a little glad to find her brother coming home with enough energy to still fight — not to mention, he seems to have had a good time outside.
She’ll just have to train Atsushi to bring her brother home on time, because something about the scene tells her that this isn’t the last time the two of them will be going off somewhere.