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Connor had been acting weird around you lately, much to your disappointment. You two had become close, staying up late talking about nothing and everything most nights. You had a fleeting suspicion, however, as to why he has suddenly become distant. The last conversation you two had was about love, something neither of you had experience in. Both young and inexperienced, you both admitted that you hadn’t kissed anyone. He told you first, then you admitted the same fact. His cheeks got red, something you thought you’d never see. He suddenly excused himself, walking away quickly while he tangled his hands together. You prayed you didn’t say anything to make him uncomfortable, but you couldn’t help but think you did. So, you let him be for a few days, hoping he would come back.
Connor was out all day, doing tasks around the Homestead, as he always did. You admired his work ethic, his dedication to the people that lived on this land. He allowed you to move into the small house on the property, even though you had no skills, trade, or money to offer. He still opened his home to you, something you would never forget. You wandered around the Homestead, doing various tasks for the other residents. You helped Prudence with the animals on the farm, and Myriam was teaching you how to hunt. The two women often commented on how close you and Connor had grown, but you brushed it off. As handsome as he was, and as kind as he was, you were not expecting a relationship with him. That would complicate things. You didn’t like complicated, and everyone knew Connor didn’t like complicated either. Plus, you had grown to cherish his friendship, and didn’t want that to be in jeopardy. However, the more the women mentioned it, the more you noticed small things about him that you grew fond of. The way his hands never stayed still, the way he looked after the residents, how he bickered with Achilles. It all seemed endearing. You shook your head, trying to clear the thoughts from your mind.
Wanting to take a break, you wander off to a spot in solidarity. You sat on a rock, watching the water from on top of the cliff. The wind whipped at your hair and clothes, sending a chill across your body. You take a deep breath, letting the salty air fill your nose and lungs. You hear a sound, a stick cracking underneath someone’s foot, and you turn around quickly. Connor is standing a few feet behind you, the apprehension on his face paining you. “I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you,” he said quickly.
“No, no. It’s fine.” You turn back around. “It’s such a lovely view from up here, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“Sit, will you? Take a break.” You ask him. You motioned for him to sit next to you on the boulder. He slowly walked over, his hesitation obvious. He sat down a few inches from you, and you can’t help but be slightly disappointed that he didn’t sit closer. Too much of a gentleman, you suppose. He took a deep breath, the sigh leaving his lips louder than he probably intended. “What’s on your mind, Connor.”
“You.” He froze. “I mean… it is just that…” He buried his face in his hand, saying something in Mohawk as he did. You could only look at him with sympathy in your eyes.
“Start over. Take your time,” you said to him. Your had to know what he wanted to say, but you didn’t want to push too hard. He took a deep breath.
“I do not wish to do anything you would not want to do. If you are uncomfortable by the thought, I-” he started, his brain clearly going in a hundred different directions.
“Connor. Slow down.” You said. “I appreciate the thought, but I still have no idea what you are talking about.” He stood up, pacing in the small area in between the boulder and the cliff.
“I should have never said anything to Norris.”
“Probably not, if it’s eating you up like this.” You retorted, an attempt at humor. It seemed to go unappreciated. “But, nothing you can do about it now. Connor, please. Tell me before you lose your mind.”
“He had asked about… us. If there was anything… going on… with us.” He made gestures to you and back at him. Getting a sense of where this conversation is going, you leaned back slightly. “I said no, because there is not anything… going on.... with us.” A long pause, both of you unsure of what to say. “He said that I should consider... the idea. I insisted that I did not have the proper time to be in a… romantic… relationship.” Your heart sank.
“Oh.” You said quietly. You were surprised at how sad the statement made you.
“He said that yesterday and I have not been able to stop thinking about you since.” Your eyes shot up to his. He stopped pacing, finally. He took a step toward you. “I do not wish to make you feel uncomfortable…” he trailed off.
“You’re not.” Another step.
“Well… I was only wondering if… that is, if you are alright with it…” You took a deep breath. He closed the gap between you and sat down on the boulder again, this time much closer, your legs nearly touching. You both were breathing heavy. “Since we both have never done this before, I was wondering if I could… kiss… you.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. He dropped his gaze, breaking your eye contact when it became too intense for him.
“Connor…” You voice was gentle and warm. His eyes came back up and immediately found yours. His hand came down from his neck, and you replaced it with yours. You both brought your lips closer together. You licked your lips, and Connor did the same. You closed your eyes, and Connor brought his hand to the side of your neck, barely holding on, his calloused hands gentle on your skin. There was barely enough room for a hair in between you now. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to yours. The contact made your heart flutter, a surge of energy pulsing from your lips to the rest of your body. You bring your hand up, finding his thick, brown hair in between your fingers. You opened your lips slightly, allowing him to deepen the kiss, and he does. His other hand ghosts over your back, barely brushing over your shirt. After a few more moments, he pulls away slowly. His eyes darted to your lips, while yours remained closed.
“That was…” his brain unable to come up with a word. You open your eyes, looking into his. “That was wonderful.” He said, very quietly.
“It was,” your voice breathy. “And now we can say we’ve kissed someone,” you said with a smile growing. The corners of his mouth slowly turned up. He suddenly pulled his hands off of your body, blushing slightly. He stood up.
“I should get back to Mr Faulkner. I will see you later.” He said, walking away before you could get a response in. You watched him leave, him shaking his hands out. You smiled, and turned your attention back to the view in front of you. It seemed much more beautiful all of a sudden.