Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L

11:37 PM

Miles

Wait so youre telling me Harambe in your universe is a LION instead of a hippo

That doesnt even make sense

Pav  

I don’t know dude!! Harambe was robbed, she just wanted to protect the boy, don’t yell at her :(

Miles

But Id argue that a literal lion is a lot scarier than a hippo

Like I almost understand them shooting her

Gwen

better than a kangaroo.

hobie

bruv have you ever seen a hippo those buggers don’t fuck around 

Miles

BUT A LITERAL LION DOESNT????

Peter added 2099 to the group chat.

Miles

PETER

hobie

oh shit

Pav

Hi Mr. O’Hara!! :D 

Peter

Wait 

Wrong chat

Gwen

you think?

Miles

THE CHAT NAME WAS HOBIES IDEA

hobie

you SNITCH

actually i dont care

arrest me you wont

Gwen

Miguel please don’t arrest Hobie thank you.

2099

pEter Mreve me frO m thus 

EmoVe

REive

Gwen

I

what is he trying to say?

2099

reMpvE

Pav

Mr. O’Hara do you mean remove???

2099

Yr s

Ty

Stypod tslons

hobie

is this why you always send voice messages instead of emails

this is too good 

peter mate you cant kick him

this is fantastic source material

2099

N O

Lrt mE out!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen

do you not have autocorrect?

2099

spUdermjn desnt nEed auTocorect

Peter

…Yikes.

Miles

I think Spiderman may need autocorrect

Just this one time

Peter

Also sorry Miguel, didn’t mean to put you in this chat but honestly we need a work chat anyway, so you’ll have to stay.

Miles

NO

2099

NU

Gwen

rats.

Pav

Yay!! :]

hobie

hell yeah 

about to meme on this dude so hard

Peter

Don’t worry though, we’ll get you the best autocorrect out there. Just for you.

Anywho.

The Fam ❤️💚💙

11:48 PM

Peter added 2099 to the chat.

Peter ❤️

Sorry Migs this was the chat I meant to put you in.

MJ 💚

Aye, Miguel! There you are!

2099

iT s ok

2099 changed their name to MirYel

Peter changed MirYel’s name to Miguel 💙

Miguel 💙

Ty

Peter ❤️

Of course! 🙂

MJ 💚

We’re very happy to have you here!

😏

Peter ❤️

Honey we’ve talked about this, the kids have told me it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

MJ 💚

What else could it mean other than a slanted smile? I don’t understand.

Miguel 💙

u  dOnt wAnT tu knOw

Chapter Text

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

11:52 PM

🌻 

I mean is it bad that Im really lowkey pissed at Peter?

Like. Im shaking rn 

🥁 

i don't think anyone blames you.

miguel literally chased your ass through the whole spider society.

and now hes in our group chat.

that literally disses him in the name.

🌻 

Yeah but things have been better since I saved dad?

Right?

So I should be over it?

☕ 

Honestly Miles—

No???

WONT CONFORM

has he even apologized

🌻 

,,,no

🥁

right then.

☕ 

You’re perfectly entitled to your feelings!!

miguel? more like migue-L

3:27 AM

2099

I need you all for a covert mission tonight. Wear vintage clothing.

miguel? more like migue-L

7:32 AM

Gwen

why were you even awake?

that is an ungodly time.

hobie

damn

he already has autocorrect

this is so disappointing 

and bruv what kind of vintage clothes

Pav

That was going to be my question!! 

@2099 Mr. O’Hara please explain!

2099

You know. Vintage clothes.

Like from those period dramas.

Miles

What period dramas

Silent films??

Miguel

Like Highschool Musical. Or Camp Rock.

hobie

youre taking the piss

Miles

There is NO WAY you just called High School Musical a “period drama”

Those clothes are like! Only 5 years out of date!! 

Gwen

please don't call those vintage oh my God.

Pav

High School actually came out in 2006!

Miles

what

Gwen

wait there's no way they're that old.

Pav

2006, 2007, and 2008!

Miles

WHAT

Peter

Aw the babies are getting to feel like what it is to get old.

hobie

miguel theres no way you actually watched high school musical

2099

...

There weren't a lot of options of things to watch.

High School Musical 2 was my favorite.

Gwen

the third one is just objectively better.

it’s just too good.

Miles

Im sorry but you all are sleeping on the first one.

Its the blueprint! The OG!

Nothing can beat it. 

hobie

ive actually never seen a high school musical movie

Miles

HOBIE WHAT

Gwen

dude theres no way. 

this is a travesty.

Pav

We have to get you to watch them!! ASAP!

OMG. WATCH PARTY!! 

We should binge-watch all of them at HQ together! Make a day of it!!

Gwen

that actually sounds really fun!

Miles

Id be down if you all are down?? 

Hobie that cool with you?

hobie

sounds wicked mate

Gwen  

then its settled.

how about tomorrow night?

since we have a mission tonight.

oh and Miguel is it okay if we do it at HQ?

Pav

Yeah don't want to get in trouble!!

2099

...can I come sit and watch the 2nd one when its on?

Miles

You know what? Sure.

2099

Then it's no problem with me.

Just don't forget the mission tonight.

Pav

Aye-Aye Captain!!

2099 to Miles

8:20 AM

2099

Después de la escuela, encuéntrame en mi oficina.

Miles took a screenshot.

Miles to Gwen

8:47 AM

Miles

[sent a screenshot]

Fuck, what do I do?

Gwen

what does it say?

Miles

He’s basically telling me after school to come see him in his office.

Gwen

shit.

Miles

I know!

Did I do something wrong?

Ive been working really hard!

Gwen

I know Miles and you've been doing a really good job.

maybe it isn't anything bad. 

Miles

I hope so. 

I dont think I can handle him being angry with me again.

Ill be honest I still have nightmares about the chase. And the Spot

Gwen

wait why haven't you told me?

Miles

You already have a lot on your plate Gwen, I didn't want to add onto it.

Gwen

Miles. listen to me.

you talking to me about things that bother you will never be “adding onto my plate”

I care about you

and I still feel guilty about the role I played in all of that

so if listening helps lighten that weight on your shoulders? you bet your ass I’ll listen. 

Miles

Thanks Gwen

Gwen

of course.

now get back to school I know you're about to be in ap physics.

also don’t forget to respond to Miguel.

Miles

I HATE AP PHYSICS WHY IS IT SECOND PERIOD

2099 to Miles

9:03 AM

Miles

Sí señor.

Chapter Text

The Fam ❤️💚💙

12:27 PM

Peter ❤️

Miguel I can hear your heavy breathing from over here.

Miguel 💙

no you can't.

MJ 💚

I'm all the way back at Earth-616 and even I can hear you.

Also @Peter ❤️ can you bring Mayday home before 5:00 tonight?

Peter ❤️

Yeah of course.

Also. Miguel. It’s going to be okay. You got this.

Miguel 💙

I wouldn’t even blame him for not forgiving me. 

I literally chased him through the city.

Peter ❤️ 

Yeah.

You did do that.

Not cool and kind of hypocritical.

Miguel 💙

I know!

I know.

MJ 💚

Just be honest with Miles, Miguel.

It’s been a few months now.

Just be open to the possibility that he may not forgive you.

Which he has the right to do.

Peter ❤️

And try to settle down a little. Being high strung will only make it worse.

Do you want me to bring you some empanadas? 

Miguel 💙

yes please.

Peter ❤️

Alright. I’ll be there in a bit.

MJ 💚

You two have a good lunch!

Miguel 💙

Wait.

Are you on your lunch break right now?

MJ 💚

Yeah?

Miguel 💙

You can um. 

You can join us, if you want.

If Peter comes and gets you.

Peter ❤️

Wow, finally deciding to bend the rules a little, mister? A non-Spider person gets to visit the Spider-society.

Miguel 💙

Any Spider-person is allowed to bring their family members/partners as long as they know their identity and wear a day pass.

MJ 💚

Wait really?

Peter ❤️

Huh.

Didn’t know that. 

Miguel 💙

Mhm.

I'm not cruel.

Peter ❤️

Well, I'll go grab May and your food then! 

MJ 💚

See you soon. 

😏

Peter ❤️

MJ!

Miguel 💙

Oh my goodness.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

12:49 PM

WONT CONFORM

guess whos learning the best methods of social protest

<video attached>

[Vid. Desc: For a moment, there’s nothing but the shakey swing of the phone. Then, with a gasp, Mayday peers into the camera’s focus, her eyes glimmering in the Spider-Society’s artificial light as Hobie holds her. She looks into the camera, blinks, and then her face breaks out into a wide smile. Hobie, just a little too far away for the phone to properly pick up him up, shifts rapidly between yellow-purple-pink-orange before settling on a pleasant green as Mayday babbles a few words to the phone. 

“You're so right, Mayday,” Hobie says as Mayday swings the phone again, showing an arc of the Spider-Society cafeteria, filled to the brim with working Spiders. “Turning a blind eye to the injustice others are facing only prolonges your own doom. So wise. So true.” Still blurred, Hobie nods sagely before looking into the camera and grinning. The video cuts off shortly afterwards.]

☕

What!! 

No fair.

I want to hang out with Mayday :[

WONT CONFORM

maybe dont go to school and youd get to bruv

🌻

Wait why arent you at school?

Thinking about it I dont think youve ever talked about it.

WONT CONFORM

why go to an institution literally designed to keep me in a self constructed box for thirteen years of my life when i can hang out with mayday 

🌻

I feel like thats not thats not the full story but I wont press.

WONT CONFORM

good choice 

🥁

is Peter on a mission rn? 

thought we werent going on any until the one tonight.

WONT CONFORM

no hes here

its a bit funny actually

peter and payday came into the cafeteria like normal

but surprise mj was there too

and then they went and got empanadas (which we all know peter thinks are pants) before peter asked if i could watch mayday for a bit

then both of them went off looking chuffed 

🌻

I will be the first one to admit that I have no idea what you said for 50% of that.

Why does Peter think the empanadas are pants? Clearly they're not. It's food.

🥁

it means bad.

🌻

Oh.

That makes sense.

🥁

yeah lol. 

that’s kind of strange though. 

what do you think they were doing?

WONT CONFORM

well

they were heading to the labs

if you catch my drift

☕

Hopefully they werent planning on doing drugs :[

🥁

oh.

OHHH.

you mean towards miguel’s office?

the only person in this society who actually likes the cafeteria's shitty food?

🌻

Maybe they're just hanging out?

Like friends? That's what friends do. Not uncommon. 

WONT CONFORM

mate you should have seen the looks on their faces 

looked like proper love sick puppies

🌻

You know. 

I don't like the idea of my mentor, his wife, and the guy who pummeled my ass into a train doing anything other than being friends

So I'm going to choose to ignore this enlightening information 

☕

Understandable!! 

🥁

we get it, totally. 

WONT CONFORM

it just gives me more opportunities to teach mayday the important lessons in life

like how to use her baby face to manipulate those her underestimate her

🥁

the actual best lessons.

Miles to Gwen

3:37 PM

Miles

He.

He apologized.

Gwen

wait what?

Miles

Miguel! 

When I went to his office, he was so tense I thought he was going to beat me up AGAIN.

But he didn't!

He like. Genuinely apologized to me about the incident a few months ago, how he treated me, and how he's treated me since. He even said I didn't have to forgive, but he just wanted to apologize!

Gwen

that's great Miles!

it’s progress!!

Miles

I know!!

I told him that I didn't fully forgive him yet

But that I acknowledged his apology and accepted it.

Gwen

good.

you have more self-worth than to immediately forgive and forget. 

wait give me a second, i can head over there.

see you in a few minutes!

Miles

Alright :)

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L

4:00 PM

2099

@everyone be in my office in an hour. We’ll go over the mission together before we all leave. Don't forget your vintage clothes.

Sorry. Not vintage. 2000s-2010s clothes. 

hobie

wow he apologized this is shocking 

2099

Don't use that foul language in this chat, Hobart Brown.

miguel? more like migue-L

4:32 PM

Pav  

Mr. O’Hara, is this okay?

<image attached>

[Pic. Desc: Pavitr is standing in a mainly blue bathroom filled with plants and mossy hangings that make his distinctly orange outfit pop. His jacket— an almost alarming shade of clementine— hangs loose and open around his shoulders, showing off a white t-shirt underneath with a design of a curled mustache with the text “I MUSTACHE you a question”. The shirt gives way to a pair of black baggy jeans patched haphazardly with swatches of red, orange, and yellow bandanas. He still has his signature red headband. Despite the sheer ridiculousness of the outfit, Pav’s natural confidence and easy smile is enough to pull it off.]

2099

I mean I guess? 

I don't know I wasn't alive during the time.

Gwen

well we were alive but we were like. babies. 

but I think it looks pretty cool Pav! the pants are fire.

Miles

Yeah!! I like the whole symmetry of the outfit. 

Pav

Thanks ! :]

And alright, thank you Mr. O’Hara!

Omw now!!

2099

@Peter you almost ready?

You’re the last one, surprisingly.

Peter

Yeah! 

Just getting dressed!

How’s this?

<video attached>

[Vid. Desc: For a moment, there’s nothing except for a shakey view of some combat boots. Then, the phone pans up and Peter comes into perspective. He’s standing in front of a full-length mirror, holding the phone awkwardly as he gives a little wave. His outfit is simple but effective— a purple and gold letterman that comfortably hugs his body paired with jeans that are barely bordering on too tight. As Peter smiles into the mirror, a snicker is heard off-camera before inaudible noise filters through. Peter releases a sharp, “Oh!” And zooms in on his face, showing off deceptively clear, shaven skin. He grins like a dork and ends the video.]

Peter

Found my old letterman from highschool! It’s in pretty good condition, so I figured I’ll look 2000s enough.

Miles

Are you wearing make up? 

You look like you have a babyface

And a surprising lack of eyebags

Peter

Hey!

But yeah. MJ did it for me, so I’d look younger. 

hobie

hell yeah it looks sick

Gwen

matches your skin tone very well!

Pav

Love the colors Mr Parker!!

Peter

Is it alright Miguel?

2099

It is

okay.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

4:33 PM

🥁

tell me pls that I'm not the only one seeing this rn.

WONT CONFORM

ion even think i can comprehend what im seeing

☕

What??? What are you guys seeing?

I'm not there yet :[

🌻

Miguel is blushing

Like actual red in the face blushing 

Same shade as those freaky eyes of his 

Or maybe its just the lighting of the office??

WONT CONFORM 

it is bloody dark in here

funky lights too

🥁

no no. 

that is definitely a blush.

look his eye is twitching. hes trying so hard to hide it.

🌻

HES BLUSHING OVER A MARRIED MAN

What are we going to do???

I mean we have to tell MJ right?

Her man is in danger. 

☕

I mean is it really harmful for him to just blush??

Plus you said it yourself maybe its the lighting???

🥁

yeah I mean theres like no harm in looking off the menu but not ordering right??

oh my god I hope that isn't like offensive or rude.

🌻

No no that makes sense. 

I think Im overreacting just a little.

My fault guys.

☕

You’re good Miles!!

Anyway I just saw Mr. Parker!! He’s almost there and I'm like a minute away!

🥁

okay dope!

miguel? more like migue-L

4:35 PM

Gwen

pav is almost here! 

2099

Good. 

Glad that all of you are getting here early.

hobie

that sounds an awful lot like pride for us Miguel

2099

I didn't say anything of the sort.

hobie

admit it youre proud of us

2099

Oh look there's Pavitr. Time to start the mission brief.

Pav

Hopefully nothing bad happens and everything goes well!! :]

miguel? more like migue-L

12:12 am

Miles

I genuinely think that was the worst mission I've ever gone on.

Gwen

so. much. singing.

Pav

and dancing! It was so cool!!

We were going like HAAA! And they were going around and up and everywhere! 

Ive never seen such an acrobatic spiderman who was also so clumsy!

They almost died three times!

hobie

i thought it was pretty banger until they admitted selling out other heroes so they could get better roles

Gwen

I don't even want to talk about the anomaly either.

Almost killed Peter and Miguel with a fucking plastic pen. And then had a stroke as soon as the pen touched Miguel?

How does that even work???

Miles

Wait hold on.

@2099 WHY WAS THE SPIDER-MAN AND THE GOBLIN THE ACTORS FROM HADESTOWN???

wait do you even know what that is

2099

I know the musical? 

It's a classic. 

We had to go over it in school.

Miles

Wait really?

That's actually pretty cool.

BUT THAT DOESNT EXPLAIN WHY THEY WERE THERE

2099

Multiverses Miles. They're strange. You know that well.

Miles

I almost threw up punching Hades/The Goblin (?) in the face.

He has such a scary face and he just kept singing “a freak like me needs company” and I DID NOT want to give him company.

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE RANDOM TEENAGERS WHO SCREAMED IN THE STREET AND SANG ALONG AS HE ALMOST KILLED ME

Pav

Well it’s a good thing Mr. O’Hara tore them all to literal ribbons!! Another easy adventure for Spider-Man!

Gwen

which was really confusing because wouldnt he be apart of a canon event??

also like. there was no blood or anything. it was like smoke???

2099

Because none of that is canon.

I'll be honest I have no idea why the dimension was created. 

The whole universe is a monstrosity stuck in a limbo. And it'll continue being stuck in its limbo because it should have never existed in the first place. But I can't get rid of it because it could maybe disrupt things. 

It's almost like an empty hornet’s nest that's supporting a beehive. You can tinker with what's inside the nest, but if you try to disrupt the outside/get rid of it, it could mess up the bigger picture.

hobie

spooky

Miles

Anyways. 

This just taught me one fundamental truth. 

Theatre kids are the worst. Even the adults.

Gwen

agreed.

hobie

agreed

Pav

Agreed!!

Well kind of

I liked their spirit :]

Miles

But we still have to watch High School Musical tomorrow right? 

Even if I want to claw my ear drums out from this mission.

I still want to hang out with you guys.

hobie

aw thats adorable mate

im still down 

Gwen

same!

Pav

of course!!

Miles

Yay! 

2099

Now that you all are done.

Go to bed. It's late.

Spiderkids 🕷️🕸️✨

12:23 AM

WONT CONFORM

yall thinking what im thinking

☕

Futuristic Burger King?? :D

🌻

Futuristic Burger King.

🥁

already got the hover car pulled around!

WONT CONFORM

hell yeah let me drive that

☕
Ooo!! I call shotgun!

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L

2:16 AM

Miles

AHDJJSJAJAHHHAHAHHA

<video attached>

[Vid. Desc: Nueva York zooms past in a terrifying blur of streetlights and buildings as the phone is pressed against the tinted window of a hover car. A burst of shrieks and cackles pierce the audio as the phone suddenly jerks and topples into the floor board. There's a few horrifying seconds of darkness as a voice, high and distinctly British, yells, “I’ve never flown a bloody plane!” followed by a mixture of laughter and crying. A second later the phone is being picked up again.

Gwen and Miles peer into frame with twin grins before Miles leans forward and flips the camera, showing an almost nervous Hobie and an ecstatic Pavitr in the front of the car. Hobie’s hands grip the steering wheel so tightly the faux leather audibly creeks underneath his palms as Pavitar leans out of the window, his arm stretched into the open air as he laughs at the top of his lungs. Both of the teens sport very flimsy paper crowns.

As the hover-car-turned-plane slowly plateaus, the teenagers fall silent as they observe the sky. The phone pans to the side, back to the window it was at before.  

It is beautiful. With surprisingly clear skies for a city, a handful of stars glimmer in the distance, only overshadowed by the moon herself. After a moment, the phone is pulled away before drifting back to linger over each teenager. Pav, who is now properly seated and murmuring a soft poem in Hindi. Hobie, who is still holding the steering wheel, but his fingers have loosened and tap to the beat of an unknown song. And Gwen, who is almost pressed against the car door with her back to the phone, head raised as her eyes glimmer under the moon light. For a moment, the camera lingers, as if its impossible to tear away. But, eventually it does, and the video cuts off with a pleasant sigh.]

2099

Did I not explicitly tell you all to go to bed?

And are those Burger Queen crowns?

Miles

oops

Wrong chat.

2099

Todos ustedes me van a matar.

Miles

Pérdon pérdon jajajaja

But we're having fun!

2099

Por el amor de—

Do you promise to stay safe?

Miles

¡Prometo!

2099

Then there's really nothing I can do.

Tell Hobie not to crash the car.

Miles

I will!

Gracias Miguel!

2099

De nada.

Miles

Hobie says he makes no promises!

2099

Por los clavos de Cristo.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

3:26 AM

🌻

Did everyone get to their home dimensions ok?

☕

Yep!! Safe and sound! :]

🥁

just hugged my dad and in bed rn.

🌻

@WONT CONFORM you all good?

WONT CONFORM

oh yeah totally at my home dimensions right now

everything is right as rain

☕

Great!! Glad you all made it back safely! Can't wait for tomorrow!

🌻

Same!

Gwen to hobie

3:28 AM

Gwen

do you think you'll ever tell them?

hobie

tell them what

Gwen

you know what.

hobie

what

you want me to tell them that im effectively homeless and the only reason i have a roof over my head is because miguel hasnt noticed that i hole away in one of the abandoned labs at night?

Gwen

hobie.

i promise they wont think of you any differently.

hobie

but you cant promise that dear

they have a very specific, one-dimensional view of me

which isnt their fault because thats how i want them to see me

but

im not letting that change

Gwen

alright hobs.

i wont push it, even if i think you getting help will really benefit you.

but just know that im here for you.

youre my best friend.

hobie

thank you gweny ur my best friend too

and know im here for you as well

good night 

Gwen

good night.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

10:34 AM

☕

Guys!! Have any of you taken AP Chem in your dimensions? 

Ik it’s super early but I have homewrok I need to finish before I can come tonight!!

🥁

oh I have!

took it last year

what do you need help with?

☕

Do you remember anything about Acids and Bases?

🥁

FUCK ACIDS AND BASES

that shit is the genuine worst.

that whole unit almost fucked up my gpa

☕

I KNOW

Why couldn't we just skip this unit???

Take me back to kinetics, that was so easy!!

🥁

I miss kinetics.

chem was terrible def prefer ap bio.

but yeah I think I remember enough to help tho?

☕

Omg thank you!!

Okay so like ik that whenever there's like a dip and rise on a titration graph that means like more things are being dissolved or whatever

And there’s two dips which ik means it's diprotic

AND I know that the PH is at the equivalence point, but it’s asking me to find where PH=pKA1???

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

This was the worst unit to miss a day on :,[

🥁

ok ok so.

i think you're talking about a weak acid rn?

literally PH=pKA is supposed to represent when acid=base. basically 0.

and you find PH=pKA at the midpoint which should be when the weak acid starts titrating and whenever PH hits the equivalence point. 

like literally right in the middle.

so if starts at 0 mL and the equivalence point is at 0.40 mL then the PH=pKA at 0.20 mL. 

its basically the same for titrating with a weak base, but the line will go down instead of up.

☕

OH

I think I get it!

Thank you Gwen!! :D

🥁

np! ^^

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

12:32 PM

🌻

Do you guys like quesitos?

☕

What are those??

🌻

Oh! They're like flakey cream cheese pastries?? Mamí’s are the BEST

She made some for tonight!

🥁

I think I remember them!!

they’re really good, rio did an amazing job with them

WONT CONFORM

you

i know damn well you did NOT just call miles mum by her first name

☕

Oh my,,,

🥁

what?

WONT CONFORM

i dont believe in etiquette but even i know its rude to use parent’s first names

🥁

I dont understand?

☕

उसे बचाएं क्योंकि वह नहीं जानती कि वह क्या करती है।

🌻

Yeah. 

My parents honestly think you were raised in a barn Gwen.

🥁

WHAT

no pls i love your parents.

i dont understand usually you call parents their first name out of respect? 

like it shows that you actually got to know them deeper than just their connection to their kid??? like idk how to describe it?

☕

What.

What????

🌻

Is it a universe thing??

🥁

what would you call my dad if you met him for the first time?

☕

Mr. Stacey??

🌻

Mr. Stacey.

WONT CONFORM

mr stacey

🥁

what??

my dad would think YALL were raised in a barn.

in my universe you’d call him George.

🌻

NO WAY

☕️

That would genuinely make me sick.

🥁

@🌻 are you seriously telling me ive been disrespecting your parents this entire time?

and you didn’t tell me?

🌻

To be fair we just thought you were being white! 

🥁

NO

omg I need to apologize to them.

I’m coming over there right now. 

🌻

Ok ok jeez.

@WONT CONFORM @☕ We’ll see y'all later tonight for the movies! 

☕

Bet!

WONT CONFORM

dont forget those quesitos

maybe ill bring some beans and toast

☕

pls dont

Chapter Text

The Fam ❤️💚💙

2:04 PM

MJ 💚

Miguel.

Why is there an anomaly tied up in the laundry room.

Miguel 💙

Mierda

Is it an Electro anomaly

Kind of old looking

MJ 💚

It is literally screaming latin rn.

Miguel 💙

Ay Dios mío.

MJ I'm coming to get it right now.

I'm so sorry I just sometimes do that.

MJ 💚

You just sometimes leave anomalies tied up in laundry rooms???

Peter ❤️

Oh! I forgot to mention that Miguel does that sometimes!

It's like some Spider instinct right? From your DNA?

(I honestly think it's more like a cat but you didn't hear that from me)

Miguel 💙

LYLA HERE! 

MIGUEL IS TELEPORTING SO IM TEXTING NOW!

SLAY!

LOOK AT THAT CUTE LITTLE HEART! 

💙💙💙

ALSO YES. MIGUEL ENTERS A HEADSPACE WHERE SPIDER BRAIN AND HUMAN BRAIN MERGE TO DO SOME PRETTY FUNKY THINGS!

LIKE LEAVING ANOMALIES AS PRESENTS! 

MJ 💚

Good to know.

Glad that weird spider instincts don't just affect Peter.

I still can't believe you wrapped that family in a web for a WEEK.

Peter ❤️

They were a crime family!

And they insulted you.

It was justified.

MJ 💚

Anyway Miguel is here. 

I'll see you later tonight.

And don't forget to take the kids the rugelach you made!

Peter ❤️

Oh thank you for the reminder hun!

@Miguel 💙 When you get the anomaly back to HQ, meet me back in your office!

Miguel 💙

MIGUEL SAYS ALRIGHT

HE WILL BE THERE IN A BIT

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

MJ 💚

This is SUCH ominous laughter.

I love it.

miguel? more like migue-L

2:46 PM

2099

In the future, if you happen to notice me taking an anomaly in the opposite direction of the Go Home Machine, please notify either Jessica or Peter B. Thank you.

hobie

i thought you looked pretty funky mate dragging that guy through the cafeteria 

Pav

Oh yeah!! It was kind of scary!

Especially the smile! 

hobie

looked fucking feral

honestly a much better look for you than that forced stoicism

maybe you should branch out and explore your emotions more

Pav

A healthy dose of introspectiveness is good for the mind!

You should join me for some meditation, Mr. O’Hara! I think you would benefit grateful from it!

2099

Thank you, Pavitr, but no.

Pav

:[

hobie

do not make pav sad Miguel

i know where you live

and i know exactly what you did with that anomaly

2099

...

Fine.

I will join you for meditation at some point Pavitr.

Pav

:]

miguel? more like migue-L

3:32 PM

Gwen

so.

are we just going to ignore Hobie threatening Miguel and getting away with it?

hobie

yeah

2099

Yes.

Gwen

okay cool. 

Miles to 2099

3:55 PM

Miles

Ik this is random

But is Earth-420 just a high dimension?? Are they constantly on the zaza??

2099

Miles this is a highly inappropriate question to ask your boss.

But so you don't bother me for the next four days about it, it depends on which Earth-420. 

Miles

Interesting.

Tell me more.

2099

Earth-TRN420 is an imaginary world created by some random kids in a different place.

But Earth-420K is basically a world where the civilians are anthropomorphic weed plants and they're constantly smoking each other. It's a cannabistic society.

Miles  

Do you mean cannibalistic?

2099

No.

Miles

LMAO

Wait

You CAN be funny!!

I have to send this to Gwen!

2099 deleted a chat.

Miles

Wha

2099

no one will ever believe you

Miles

I

You know what.

I'm too afraid to fight against it.

Thank you for the insight and I will see you tonight for High School Musical 2

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

4:01 PM

🌻

You guys would believe me if I told you Miguel said something funny right?

🥁

Miles we know you're an undying optimist 

so I think we’d take it with a grain of salt.

🌻

So he was right 

🥁

what?

🌻

Nothing! hahahahahhahahaha.

Everyone ready for 5 hours and 19 minutes of high school musical?!?????

☕

Yeah!! 

I got us some chai hope you guys don't mind!

🥁

ooo no it sounds tasty!

WONT CONFORM

what flavor is it

☕

Kadak chai!!

It has like ginger, cinnamon, caradom!! All the goods!

Also @🥁 how did your apology go lol :]

WONT CONFORM

ok that sounds wicked

🥁

omg it was so embarrassing.

mr morales wasn't there, but mrs morales was and it was easier to explain the whole cultural difference since she knows about the Spiderman multiverse thing, and I just told her I would have NEVER purposefully disrespected them like that.

and she accepted it.

but gosh it hurt doing it.

🌻

It went very well! 

I think Mamí actually wants to adopt you now!

🥁

GOOD

I'm usually so good with parents too.

WONT CONFORM

miles you should totally let me me your parents i think id leave them gobsmacked, chuffed, and zonked

🌻

I feel like you're just fucking with me now.

I don't trust your words.

This is why your queen is dead smh.

WONT CONFORM

Excuse me?

🥁

oh shit.

☕

Hobie is using actually grammar!! 
This is terrifying!

WONT CONFORM

the queen is dead in your universe

🌻

Yeah?

🥁

mine too.

☕

We never would have let her live in mine. :].

WONT CONFORM

bruv

🌻

Are you

Upset?

That she's dead?

WONT CONFORM

no

im upset that shes still alive in my universe

that cunt is basically immortal and fucking encouraged the whole osborn shit that went down

anyway

tell me more about that chai pav

☕

Well it's very warm!!

Relaxing!

Very tasty! One of my favs!

Wait random what time are we meeting up at HQ?

🌻

7 PM (19:00) right? That work for everyone?

WONT CONFORM

doesnt effect me any

🥁

perfect!

☕

Great!! I’m going to work on getting this all set up, so I'll talk to you guys later! Bye!!

🥁

bye!

WONT CONFORM

bye pav

🌻

Bye bye!

WONT CONFORM

cant wait to see what all the hype is about 

Chapter Text

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

5:22 PM

WONT CONFORM

the cafeteria spiderwoman called me baby in one of those deep country accents and now i will kill for her

🥁

you can't keep saying that about any old person who calls you a pet name 

WONT CONFORM

no one can stop me

add her to the list gweny

🌻

Wait wait what list?

☕

Yeah I'm curious!!

🥁

officially it's called “Hobie’s Die and Kill for List”

but I just call it The List

☕

PLS tell us who's on it!! 

Hobie I have to know this is vital information!

WONT CONFORM

go ahead give em it

🥁

okay okay so we have:

•  stray animals

•  any child (especially mayday)

•  me

•  pav

•  miles

•  dolly parton

•  a spider woman who also happens to be a dolly parton that called him honey

•  those bikers who protect kids during court 

•  slant

•  my dad because he calls him sport (also ex cop)

•  his primary school teacher

•  a bus driver he met one time who called him son

•  and now Amanda

WAIT NOT AMANDA MS. HILL

damn it.

🌻

WAIT MS HILL LIKES YOU???

SHES ALWAYS SO MEAN TO ME

WONT CONFORM

maybe just get better mate

she loves me and now i would die or kill for her 

☕️

We’re on the list yay!!!

WONT CONFORM

of course

i love all of you

☕️

Awe!!! I love you too!! :D 

I love you guys too!

🌻

🖤

But pls don’t die for us.

🥁

love you guys too. <3

also agreed with miles

who else will subject us to gross British food?

WONT CONFORM

do not talk miss “i forgot i can add more than just pepper to chicken” when you made me chicken noodle soup

appreciated the food but it was pants im sorry gweny

☕️

YOU DIDNT 

🥁

im ashamed to admit I did.

my dad literally won’t eat any other spice than pepper.

and even then he says its too spicey sometimes.

just how I was raised.

🌻

Hell nah.

We got to get you on that soul food.

🥁

PLEASE

for once I want to try something other than pepper with my food

my god I would even take rosemary or garlic or SOMETHING at this rate. 

☕️

YOU DONT EVEN HAVE GARLIC WITH YOUR FOOD??

🥁

NO

YKNOW GARLIC BREAD?

ITS JUST FUCKING BREAD

WITH PEPPER

AND BUTTER

AND SALT

I LOVE MY DAD BUT OMG

🌻

YOURE JOKING

THERE IS NO WAY

🥁

YOU THINK I WOULD JOKE ABOUT THIS????

WONT CONFORM

no its all true ive witnessed it first hand

bloody insane

she cried the first time she had gumbo 

🥁

it was SO good

☕️

I can’t believe there’s stuff worse than British food out there…

WONT CONFORM

stop dogging on my delicacies man

nothing can beat bangers and mash 

or toad in the hole

or fish and chips

🌻

Youre a disgrace.

☕️

Hobie I’ve never been more disappointed in you.

But it’s okay we still love you.

🌻

Yeah even if you’re terminally British we accept and support you.

WONT CONFORM

you two are about to be removed from the list 

☕️

WAIT NO PLEASE!!

🌻

WERE SORRY

WE WONT MAKE FUN OF YOUR BRIGISH FODO ANYMORE PLSKSLSSSL NOOO

WONT CONFORM

good

you both can stay

☕️

Oh thank goodness!!

🌻

Phew.

🥁

imagine getting threatened with removal lmaoooo couldn’t be me.

WONT CONFORM

bruv if you ever make that bland ass chicken again you WILL be removed

🥁

you know what?

that’s fair.

anyway im heading out ill see you guys later tonight!! 

🌻

Same! 

☕️

Finishing up with my chai then I’ll be there!

WONT CONFORM

already here so ill see you lot in a pinch

miguel? more like migue-L

8:43 PM

Miles

@2099 Just finished the first High School musical so if you still want to see the second one come on

2099

On my way!

*Omw.

Stupid autocorrect.

Gwen

wdy think so far hobs??

hobie

definitely interesting 

a great lesson for the youth

i can appreciate troy and gabriella trying to break through the social hierarchy of their school and their own self-imposed boundaries with their cliques

Pav

Yeah it's definitely been enlightening going back and watching them!!

It is strange that it seems we’ve all seen the same movie!

Gwen

apparently high school musical transcends all of the multiverse.

Miles

Universal canon event.

hobie

absolutely wicked

definitely excited to see the rest

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

9:57 PM

🥁

guys.

i managed to sneak a picture.

<image attached>

[Pic. Desc: It’s a little blurry and dark, but it isn't too difficult to make out the silhouettes of Hobie and Miguel, the two Spiders sitting right in front of a TV and their faces illuminated by the light. Hobie is enraptured, all wide-eyed and open-mouthed as a dance number unravels on screen. Miguel, on the other hand, somehow manages to look forlorn even while a gaggle of teenagers sing about baseball. Still, he watches with an unnerving amount of attentiveness.]

🌻

At least Hobie looks happy?

I didnt think it was possible to look sad while watching High School Musical.

☕

Yeah is Mr O’Hara alright???

🥁

i mean he said it was his favorite and asked to watch it so idk why he looks like a drowned kitten rn.

🌻

Who knows tbh?

He's kind of finicky.

But he did bring some good food omg.

☕

Oh yeah what was it called?? It seemed familiar.

🥁

rugelach I think?

🌻

Oh wait

Is Miguel Jewish??

🥁

what?

🌻

I mean rugelach is Jewish right?

☕

Oh yeah!! I have a Jewish friend and she used to make it all the time! That's why it was familiar!

🥁

I don't think Miguel is Jewish?

you’d think we would have noticed sooner right?

☕

Maybe we should ask him?

🌻

Yeah we can ask after the movie.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

10:44 PM

🥁

okay so definitely NOT Jewish.

🌻

Weird.

☕

Maybe he was experimenting with different foods??

🥁

who knows tbh?

also @WONT CONFORM what is your rating for the second movie?

WONT CONFORM

10/10 just for that baseball scene

ryan and that other guy were definitely snogging

🌻

Oh 100%.

Obviously.

☕

Now for the last one!!

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

12:57 PM

WONT CONFORM

i think they lost the plot for that last one just a little 

☕

But you still cried when they took their final bow!!

WONT CONFORM

i am not afraid to admit my emotions

🥁

my standing still remains the 3rd one is the best hands down.

🌻

Ur actually insane

🥁

nah it's the best you can’t convince me otherwise. 

but hobs which was your favorite?

WONT CONFORM

honestly

i think the second one

but i think all of the movies would have been god tier if they had a few punk songs

gabriella needed to let it out bruv

also what happened to the two guys snogging

☕

Guess they were never meant to be.

🌻

A shame they had amazing chemistry.

🥁

so true.

anyways im heading out!! 

I had a lot of fun tonight!

☕

Oh me too!!

I'm glad you guys liked the chai :]

🌻

Pav it was so good.

And I'm glad the questios were a hit!!

🥁

yes thank you both it was delicious!

WONT CONFORM

thank you mates i really enjoyed this

but i am a little disappointed none of you tried the beans and toast

🌻

Im sorry Hobie but I think I would have died.

☕

I make it a point to avoid most British culture!

🥁 

I have texture issues im sorry hobs

WONT CONFORM

yknow its okay 

anyway im knackered so im also going to bed

night

☕

Goodnight everyone!! 💕

🥁

night-night!

🌻

Sleep tight! don't let the Miguel bite!

🥁

lmaoooo.

2099 to Peter

1:03 AM

2099

I know it's early, so don't worry about responding until later.

But do you know if Hobie has been going back to his home dimension?

Chapter Text

Peter to 2099

7:31 AM

Peter

What do you mean?

Miguel??

2099 to Peter

8:58 AM

2099

Sorry. Dealing with a new Spider.

I mean have you noticed Hobie going home after babysitting Mayday, or even after a mission?

Peter

I mean 

I don't know

I don't really pay that much attention 

Why? What's brought this on?

2099

I think we need to talk in person.

Also do you know of any of the kids have arachnophobia?

miguel? more like migue-L

11:23 AM

2099

I need someone’s help with something.

Gwen

if it’s getting Spider-Cat down from your ceiling then no.

I am never doing that again.

Miles

Me neither, that furball nearly clawed my face off AND webbed me to your stupid floating desk thing. 

Pav

I will!! I love cats :D 

2099

It's not involving Spider-Cat. 

But it is a new member of our team.

Pav

Oh!! I also love new members!! 

Of course, we’ll do anything to help them out 🥰

2099

Promise you won't scream.

Miles

Why would we scream?

2099

<video attached>

[Vid. Desc: It's a huge spider. Massive. So big that Miguel standing at his full height just barely reaches the tops of one of its legs. It's covered in dark red fur that bristles as Miguel turns the camera to its face, and all eight of its very bright blue eyes widen as it's taken into view. Venom drips from its massive white fangs, which Miguel barely dodges with a curse. The spider, despite its frightening appearance, just seems excited to be there.]

Pav

WHAT RHE FUCK 

2099

You promised you wouldn't scream.

Pav

I DIDNT PROMISE ANYTHINF WHY IS IT SO BIG

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

2099

I told you. New member of the team.

Pav

NO

NO 

MR OHARA IM USUALLY OM YOUR SIDE BUT THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE

2099

Well we found her today and we got her has a watch, so I need someone to keep an eye on her while I put her in the system.

Miles

The fucking spider got a watch quicker than I did???

Pav

IT HAS A WATCH????

2099

Yes. It's on her abdomen. 

hobie

heh like her butt

2099

Yes.

Like her butt.

Now pls can one of y'all watch her?

Gwen

nose goes!

nose.

Pav

NOSE

hobie

nose

Miles

Nos

Wait shit!!

No!

What about Peter?? he didn't say nose?

2099

Peter has a child with him constantly.

And Mayday is a chaos generator.

That is not something we're willing to risk.

Miles

BUT YOURE WILLING TO RISK ME?

2099

She's probably more afraid of you than you are of her.

Miles

PROBABLY???

Man I have AP physics homework I can't be doing this!!

2099

You got this kid. She’ll love you.

Miles

Oh my god I can't escape this can I?

Guys please?

Guys?

2099 to Gwen

11:56 AM

2099

I know this is sudden, but you stayed in Hobie’s dimension for some time right? During the whole issue with your dad?

Gwen

yeah.

why?

2099

How was it over there?

Gwen

I mean it was rough? 

the british and american government were all tied up with each other and it was kind of confusing. 

but I mean Hobs and his group yknow made it fun. i had a good time then.

2099

Did it get any better after the multiverse was fixed?

Gwen

honestly? no. 

i stopped going there as often because things got better with my dad, but apparently smth happened in the world (not an anomaly idk what) that made things get a little worse

idk hobie doesnt really talk to me about it. 

2099

Hmm.

Alright. Thank you. 

Gwen to hobie

12:24 PM

Gwen

I think Miguel is onto you.

hobie

shit

Gwen

I didn't tell him anything too revealing

but he was definitely trying to get something out of me.

had to lie to him.

hobie

honestly idk what im supposed to do

Gwen

maybe you can come stay with me for a few nights instead of the lab?

hobie

no no im not going to burden you two with that

you lot got your own things going on

Gwen

how many times do I have to tell you 

you aren't a burden hobie.

you helped me when i was in your shoes.

hobie

its fine gwen ill handled it

Gwen

maybe you should tell him

wouldnt that make it easier?

hobie

and what

admit to being a bloody coward?

i cant do that gwen you know i cant

Gwen

I just feel like it you keep shouldering all of this by yourself you're going to crack.

hobie

its okay gwen really

itll be fine

Gwen

alright.

if you're sure. 

but know if you do want to crash other than that old lab, you can come see me and my dad?

i bet he’d be excited to catch up with you.

hobie

thank you gweny

and ill consider it

miguel? more like migue-L

1:35 PM

Miles

You know what.

She's growing on me.

Hobie you should add her to the list.

hobie

hmm

we’ll see

Miles

She really likes fetch! 

Also she helped me with my physics homework!!

Gwen

how the hell did she help you with physics?

Miles

Idk I gave her the option of A B C D as a joke and she tapped out like 1 2 3 4 and every answer was right when I checked Guugle.

Gwen

no fucking way.

do you think she knows calculus?

hobie

oo we should take her on a heist

2099

Please do not use the new member of our team to do your homework. Or heists. 

You're Spider-Man you shouldn't be going on heists??

hobie

im spiderPUNK

we all need a little heists in our lives 

Miles

WHAT

No homework??

What else do you want me to do with her?

She got bored with fetch and started going after the Web-Slingers horse

She needs enrichment!

Pav

She NEEDS to go back to her dimension and never come back.

Gwen

i never expected you would be so against a life-sized spider Pav

Miles

Yeah man do you have arachnophobia?

I mean you seem chill with the trex so Im guessing its not cause shes

Yknow. 

Not human.

Hobie

thats kind of inconvenient innit

Pav

I can see the death of a million galaxies in her eyes.

hobie

thats a little freaky mate

when was the last time you properly slept 

Pav

I get a full eight hours every night. 

But I haven't blinked since I've learned that abomination has a watch.

Gwen

ok maybe you should blink??

Pav

No.

Gwen

ok then. your choice.

Miles

Anyway, Im going to go take Charlotte (thats her name now idc what you guys say) to lunch, so if you need me, ill be in the cafeteria!

hobie

bet

ill come meet charlotte in person

then i can decide if shes list material

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L

2:21 PM

hobie

charlotte is definitely going on the list

i just watched her take miguel down in a single pounce

Gwen

holy shit.

@Pav did you witness it with your unblinking eyes?

Miles

Oh Pav passed out

Had to take him to the medbay.

hobie

yeah poor guy the fear got to him

but dw i think the pictures of charolette cradling miguel like a baby will help change his mind

2099

If they end up anywhere but your phone Hobart Brown, I will end you.

hobie

oh 

so ur saying that if i were to hack into the gizmo broadcasting technology and yknow 

program it to display a slideshow of alllll of those silly pictures 

youd be a little upset?

2099

I

What do you want?

hobie

let me take charolette for one heist

2099

Absolutely not.

hobie

one (1) heist

cmon ik she would love it 

2099

You can't know that because she can't talk????

hobie

no but we are platonic soulmates and i can read her heart and soul and mind and ik she wants to go on a heist with me 

if pav was awake he would agree

hes great at reading people

Gwen

if Pav was awake i think he’d rather die than try and read charolette.

hobie

you are NOT helping gwen

2099

No. 

Do you want to hear it in Spanish?

No.

Miles

Come on that meme is DEAD

2099

What meme?

Miles

Oh it's like

Um nevermind there's no point.

hobie

alright miguel you sealed your fate

too bad for you i already have this shit preprogrammed 

2099

Wait 

Hold on

Don't tell me you're actually going to 

MIERDA

HOW DID YOU EVEN DK TJAT

The Fam ❤️💚💙

2:29 PM

MJ 💚

Miguel why are you being held by a spider on Peter’s watch?

Miguel 💙

Don't. 

Don't ask.

MJ 💚

Well.

It's cute. 🥰

Peter ❤️

Very cute!!

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

2:32 PM

🌻

MIGUEL IS BLUSHING AGAIN

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L

2:35 PM

2099

Where did Pavitr go?

Miles

Why are you looking for Pav?

2099

I'm checking up on him?

He's not in the med bay. 

So where is he?

Miles

Um.

Idk who this Pavitr guy is.

I also dk what a med bay is.

Oh look!! More physics homework brb!

2099

MILES

@Gwen where is Pav? 

Gwen

oh idk.

he probably went back to Mumbattan.

2099

“probably”?

Implying that you aren't sure?

Gwen

um. 

uh.

no?

2099

That's it. 

I'm checking the footage.

Gwen

WAIT

you said you wouldn't check footage except for missions after the multiverse was fixed!

2099

That was before we had a missing kid.

I'm checking the footage.

Gwen

wait.

ill tell you where Pav is but you have to PROMISE not to get mad.

2099

I don't like where this is going.

Gwen

do you promise not get mad?

or go crazy spider ballistic or whatever?

2099

Fine.

I promise. 

Gwen

well.

let’s just say pav got over his fear of charlotte pretty quickly when hobie suggested they all three team up and 

um

2099

And what?

Gwen. What are they doing?

Gwen

they’re raiding the british museum and stealing back everything 

2099

EVERYTHING?

Gwen

that sounds a lot like getting mad!!

2099

everything?

Gwen

that is somehow worse.

and um yeah that was the plan anyway. that’s what hobie said in the planning call.

2099

THE PLANNING CALL?

Gwen

well they had to figure out how to plan to distract you for 30 mins.

2099

Is THAT why Spider-Cat came into my office?

i can't believe Hobie is actually doing a heist

YOU ALL ARE SHOCKING GROUNDED.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

2:43 PM

🥁

@☕ @WONT CONFORM PLS HURRY UP MIGUEL IS LOSING IT 

I TRIED TO LIE

AND MILES LEFT ME FOR HIGH WATER 

🌻

YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO RISK MIGUELS ANGER?

YKNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME????

I GOT SLAMMED!! INTO A TRAIN!!! 

🥁

WELL NOW HES GOING SPIDER BALLISTIC BECAUSE HES SCARED YALL ARE GOING TO GET HURT OR SMTH SO PLS COME BACK ASAP PLS

☕

Charlotte is the QUEEN and would NEVER let us get hurt.

Also we are otw we just returned everything where it belonged!!

WONT CONFORM

best heist ever

🥁

JUST GET BACK HERE

Chapter Text

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨

3:31 PM

🌻

Do you think if I shrink Charlotte down I can take her for my ap exams

And just have her tell me all the answers 

Because this physics shit is getting on my nerves

🥁

and break College Board’s precious intellectual integrity by cheating?

yeah absolutely figure it out.

WONT CONFORM

nah i dont think miguel is going to let charlotte near us any time soon

she got the scolding of a life time 

☕️

But she was just growing on me :[[

WONT CONFORM

at least he didnt make us return all the stuff

that would have been a pain

wait here let me test smth

miguel? more like migue-L

3:34 PM

hobie

hey @2099

you still mad

2099

I am furious. 

The autocorrect won't let me express the sheer level of vitriol that is coursing through my body at this moment.

hobie

so like hypothetically

2099

NO.

Whatever you ask, the answer is no.

And Charlotte is returning back to her dimension. 

Pav

NOOO

I LOVE CHARLOTTE

2099

You were hating on her LITERALLY less than two hours ago

Pav

Okay??

But that was before she proved herself to be an ally

2099

An ALLY OF WHAT??

hobie

crime <3

2099

oh my god

Miles

If Charlotte goes back to her dimension who's going to help me with my homework

Or help me cheat on AP tests

2099

A tutor?

Literally anyone but an actual giant spider?

You guys realize Charlotte has her own children to take care of right?

Gwen

what

Pav

CHARLOTTE’S A MOM???? 

2099

Yes. Now Charlotte is done and going back to her actual children. And her Spider-Man duties.

Or Spider duties

Miles

heh duties

2099

I hope you said your goodbyes earlier because we won't see her for a while.

hobie

bruv this is actually depressing 

Gwen

we didn't appreciate her enough while she was here.

Miles

Rip Charlotte. Gone but never forgotten. She’ll be missed

A real G 😔

Pav

I can't believe I spent half of my time with her hating.

I'm sorry Charlotte I failed you. 

2099

She

She isn't dead.

hobie

shut the fuck up

Pav

She might as well be :[

2099

Oh my shocking

I can hear your dramatic crying from here, I know can tell you're planning a funeral. 

If I say y'all can visit her occasionally will you stop being depressed? 

hobie

that would be bloody lovely 

Miles

Yeah and we totally won't use this to defile any educational principles

Or get into any more trouble 

Pav

Yeah 🥰

Gwen

we’ll be good just let us see our queen!!

2099

FINE.

You guys get permission to visit her, but ONLY if she isn't busy. You have to check with me first.

Pav

Yay!! Thank you Mr. O’Hara!!

Miles

W Miguel

hobie

miguel not living up to the chat name for once 

who would have thought 

Gwen

I am going to make an amazing song for Charlotte she will love it.

Chapter Text

miguel? more like migue-L
4:19 PM

Miles

So

I’ve been thinking really hard

Gwen

oh no.

Pav

That’s very dangerous coming from you Miles!!

Miles

HEY?

RUDE ASSES

WELL before I was INTERRUPTED

I assigned you all Pokémon that you’d be

Pav

WAIT REALLY???

Miles

Yeah but now Im not going to share because you two were mean.

Pav

MILES PLS

SHARE WITH THE CLASS 

Gwen 

yeah pls we’re sorry :,-(

Miles

Did

Did you just give your frowny face a nose?

Gwen

what if I did? :-)

hobie

that thing is fuckin demented

Pav

Yeah it's honestly kind of creepy,,,

Gwen 

he’s just a fun, silly guy??? 

haters

:-///

Miles

If I tell you the Pokémon will you never do that again?

Gwen

the nose thing?

Miles

Yes

Gwen

yup!

they better be good

Pav

No pressure tho!!

Miles

Okay okay SO

First up

Pav you were the easiest you’d be Riolu 

Pav

HECK YEAH

Miles

Because you like are flexible and stuff and they're a pretty bendy fighty Pokémon. Also youre good at reading emotions and people really well and like their relationships and Lucario is known as the “aura pokemon” but you havent evolved yet yknow?? 

Pav

Awww

I love it!!

Miles

Okay Gwen 

Gwen

yeah!

Miles

My first instinct with you was Kirlia because of the elegant ballerina vibes, and tbh I can still see it fitting?? 

BUT I want to say Sylveon is a better fit because you still get the dancer vibes from the ribbons AND theres the pink and blue from your suit

Plus Eevee evolves into Sylveon with high friendship and I think thats pretty perfect

Gwen

wait i actually love that

Sylveon is like my second favorite Pokemon <333

Pav

Who's your first??

Gwen

TYRANITAR

I LOVE THEM

THEYRE A BEAST

Pav

You know what that somehow surprises and doesn't surprise me!! 

Miles

Hobie do you even know what Pokémon is??

hobie

no 

but i assume theyre good at gambling 

pokermen

Miles

Yknow I bet some ARE good at gambling. 

But no.

Hobie if you were a Pokemon youd

Toxtricity because obv punk rock vibes and electricity and spikes and all that jazz

Pav

Oh that is PERFECT for Hobie!! 

Gwen

literally the nail on the head omg.

Miles

And youd be special and be able to switch between lowkey and amped up forms cause you dont believe in consistency. 

hobie

i looked it up and he seems like a right good fellow 

i can definitely relate 👍🏿

Miles

@2099 okay so Miguel you're from the future I'm assuming yknow Pokémon

2099

Yeah. We’re on like Gen 56.

Gwen

tbh I thought the number would be higher?

2099

Well Pokémon distribution got a little interrupted by the mutant-human civil war, so they're a few years behind. 

Pav

The WHAT

2099

Eh nothing to worry about. 

Miles

Ominous war aside!

You were kind of hard 

And I'm not very confident on it BUT 

I think Nidoking is a good fit

2099

Ah that's from the very first gen isn’t it?

Miles

Yeah!

It's a poison type (since you got that venom thing going on) and it's pretty big and bulky like you?? I can totally see it charging up a train and slamming a kid into it yknow what I mean

I also think Crobat could be good because it's also a poison type and it's got the biggest resting bitch face ever 

2099

Watch it.

Miles

And also apparently it's based off of like vampire bats and you're always fighting those vampire rumors. 

2099

Which you kids are not helping with.

I know one of you told Web-Slinger that I can’t be in direct sunlight 

Now he slams that stupid clucking cowboy hat on my head whenever I go out to the lobby

hobie

heh guilty

2099

I should have known.

Miles

@Peter ik youre basically dead in this chat BUT if you see this, I think you would be Gyarados, but you’d switch between Magikarp and Mega Gyarados depending on how your Mood is. Cause honestly when we first met that was total Magikarp behavior.

And Mayday would be Togepi or Litleo
Because Togepi is adorable and baby (and owned by a character named May in the Pokémon anime). And Litleo is also adorable and baby but also a ginger like Mayday.

Oh also MJ would be a Flareon!

2099

@Peter

Peter

Awe that's so cute!! 

I definitely think that does fit all of us (even if I'm a little insulted ❤️)

Gwen

hmm.

interesting.

how come Peter only responded when Miguel @ him? 

2099

What? 

Pav

You know what??

That is pretty sus.

Miles

Pls dont start with the implication stuff again my heart cant take it.

2099

I don't know what you kids are talking about. 

Oh look Lyla’s calling gtg.

Gwen

we’re onto him I swear.

but anyway those were pretty dope Pokemon!!

Pav

Yes!!

I LOVE being Riolu!

hobie

mine seems accurate so I dig it

Gwen

wait

Miles who would you be tho?

Miles

Oh shoot I didnt think of one for me 

Pav

OOO

OKAY OKAY

HERE ME OUT:

JOLTIK

Miles

THE TINY ELECTRIC SPIDER??? 

Pav

YES

Miles

Okay I could totally see that

Gwen

ooo or what about Luxio??

also electric!! And it can kind of show your stages of being Spiderman! 

also the fur is kind of similar to your hair (just a bit)??? 

Miles

Ngl I love both of those a lot. 

I can totally see both fitting. 

I do love the electricity vibes.  

Gwen 

sweet!!

oh we should TOTALLY have a Pokémon day or smth that’d be sooo fun 

Pav

Oo!!

Miles

Maybe that can be our next big hang out sesh

hobie

sounds fun to me

Peter to hobie

4:32 PM

Peter

Hey kiddo!! I know this is short notice, but if you're not busy would you mind coming over in an hour and watching Mayday tonight? We need to head out for a bit, but we should be back by midnight if that's okay? You’d be open to any snacks, drinks, whatever like usual (and ofc hourly pay). 

hobie

nah im not busy

finished up my dimension’s patrols already

so im free to watch the lil anarchist for you 

and no need for payment yknow this already peter

Peter

No, no, we insist!! 

You always do such a good job with her and she loves you, it's the least we can do. 

hobie

mm

nah 

no payment

but ill see you in an hour

Chapter Text

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
5:07 PM

🥁

ok so i was looking into more Pokémon games just to see if it was actually possible for us to do a night and DAMN those games are expensive and ik we don't all got the same systems (or even the same games??? idk how that works across dimensions)

BUT

here me out!!

roblox

🌻

Going from Pokémon to Roblox??

I mean I loved it as a kid

But man that's such a downgrade

🥁

first of all

HOW DARE YOU?

Roblox is a staple in this household. 
do you have any idea how much time I spent on how many lives I've lived in that silly little game??

you cannot imagine Miles

second of all!!

you are not Hearing Me Out

Roblox has this game called Doodle World and its like a knock off Pokémon game and it’s so cute pls pls just look up the little guys.

☕

Oh they are SO CUTE!!!

🌻

Okay maybe I'm hearing you out. 

There's an electric cat. 

And they are literal doodles which is pretty cool too!

🥁

so what I'm hearing is Roblox Doodle World night?? right now? 

☕

I am SO DOWN!!

🌻

It actually seems pretty fun ngl!

I can maybe hop on when I get home
Even tho Im not sure how we can play Roblox across dimensions?

🥁

oh fair.

but I mean if we can text and call, we can play Roblox surely??

@WONT CONFORM what about you hobs? you down to try?

WONT CONFORM

ah fraid not tonight m8s

told peter id babysit mayday

also i have no idea what roblox is

☕

Its okay we’ll teach you the wondrous ways of Roblox soon :]

ALSO MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY

🌻

PLS SEND US PICS OF MAYDAY WHEN YOU CAN <333

🥁

Mayday is our life force 🫶🏻

WONT CONFORM

of course ill send pics ive got to fill the mayday quota 

even tho quotas are just tools used to reinforce the idea that workers are supposed be mindless robots meant to hit a certain rate of productivity to even have some semblance of worth

it's mayday so ofc i gotta take pics <3

🌻

Hobie you both scare and inspire me at the same time 

WONT CONFORM

perfect

being inspired is supposed to be frightening

🌻

Oh and on a completely unrelated note!

Do you think we could TECHNICALLY be related to the Scorpion?

🥁

im sorry?

WONT CONFORM

you mean that sinister six bloke

☕️

The who???

WONT CONFORM

why on earth would we be related to him 

🌻

Well you know! 

We ARE Spiders which are arachnids and scorpions are also arachnids!!

🥁

I mean.

you’re not wrong?

but isn’t that only because they have 8 legs??

most of us don’t have 8 legs?

☕️

Wait.

Does that mean we’re not really Spiders?

We call ourselves Spiders because we got bitten by one, but that doesn’t make us spiders right?? 😟

🌻

Awe man I dont need an existential crisis rn.

WONT CONFORM

i think even following that sort of logic ik it wouldnt make sense for my scorpion to be related because hes human 

🌻

I mean im just wondering if theres a world out there where theres a Spider-Man and a Scorpion and theyre cousins or smth and they are basically brawling with each other every night and then they have to see each other at like cookouts and shit

🥁

in this imaginary scenario do they know each others identities? 

🌻

I think it would be HILARIOUS if they did know

Like theyre just fighting and all that just to keep up appearances 

And imagine getting into a huge fight and then having to roll up to your 2 year olds cousins birthday and then finding your Scorpion cousin and being like “you motherfucker you gave me a black eye”

☕️

Miles who keeps letting you cook?? First the Pokémon now the hypothetical Scorpion cousin? 

Are you getting enough sleep bro?

🌻

I get PLENTY of sleep

Im just thinking 

Oh also I’m home. Gwen whats your Roblox user?

☕️

Oh yeah!! I need to add you 

🥁

ok. 

you two listen to me very carefully.

ik it’s bad, which means you guys cannot judge me.

☕️

We would NEVER

🥁

you guys PROMISE?

🌻

We promise

It can’t be THAT bad 

☕️

Promise! 🥰

🥁

ok my Roblox user is XxBaletGurl1234xX

🌻

NO FUCKING WAY

LMAOOOO

🥁

MILES YOU LITERALLY PROMISED 

🌻

I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED 

WHAT IS THAT

DID YOU MISSPELL BALLET???

🥁

I WAS 11 DO NOT JUDGE 11 YEAR OLD ME

🌻

NAHHH IM JUDGIN HER HARDCORE 

☕️

Gwen

You know you can change your name right?

🥁

what.

☕️

Yeah, in the settings. You can just change it.

🥁

Pav I don’t think you understand. I have tried to change it a million and a half times, I CAN’T.

like. idk if it’s my version of Roblox, but there ISN’T a change option. 

it’s like a government assigned name, I’m stuck with it for the rest of my life.

☕️

Oh that is TERRIBLE.

My username is pretty dope tho.

Let me see if I can find you?

HOLY SOMEHOW IT WORKS??? NOT GONNA QUESTION THAT 

Sending you a request rn!!

🥁

oh are you iiiAmPav?

☕️

Yeah I am!!

🥁

I CANT BELIEVE IT WORKS ACROSS DIMENSIONS?

☕️

IKR???

🌻

Someone clearly didnt listen to when they say dont use your real name is your users

☕️

I’d like them to try and pry that name from my cold dead hands. It’s MINE.

🌻

Okay fair enough!

Also Im adding you too Gwen!

🥁

alright!

lmk when you send it.

🌻

I sent it

🥁

???

are you sure?

all I’ve got is a friend request from someone called C00L_G4M3R_1S_H3R3

🌻

.

🥁

Miles.

I know damn well that you did not just laugh at my name only for you to roll up with that shit.

☕️

Are you at least able to change yours?

🌻

Perhaps.

🥁

and you’ve CHOSEN to keep that monstrosity??? 

🌻

ITS AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR CULTURE

WHO IS TO PRESERVE THIS VITAL PIECE OF KNOWLEDGE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS???

SOME OF US HAVE TO TAKE A FEW LS

🥁

Miles thats why we have MEMORIES

I can’t believe this.

I would sell my left foot and my right kidney to be able to change my name istg 

WONT CONFORM

if it really is bothering you that bad gwen i can if i can hack this Roblox fellow and change your name 

🥁

HOBS PLS PLS PLS

ILL MAKE YOU LIKE 10 OF THOSE LEMON BLUEBERRY CAKES YOU LIKE OR WHATEVER ELSE PLS 🛐🛐🛐

WONT CONFORM

hell yeah 

ill fuck those things up

🥁

BET

okay cool I have to come up with a new user but I’ll focus on that tomorrow. 

Tonight we play doodle world.

🌻

Does it not hurt your soul knowing you’re killing the memories of that 11 year old girl?? That bright, hopeful little soul who didn’t even know how to spell ballet?

☕️

Miles you have GOT to stop cooking dude

🥁

YOU LITERALLY WERE MAKING FUN OF IT NOT FIVE MINUTES AGO????

🌻

THATS NOT THE POINT

Another part of you will be gone, Gwen. Whittled away by society’s expectations and the restrictions of what is and isn’t cringe. 

When will we allow ourselves to simply be?

🥁

can we PLS just play the silly goofy doodle game and NOT have an internet-fueled crisis??

🌻

Yeah totally 🥰

I can’t wait for the doodles to say “It’s doodle time” and start doodlin all over the place 

🥁

oh my GOD

Chapter Text

Peter to MJ
5:17 PM

Peter

Thank GOD for Hobie. The kid’s already here.

Did you get the cake?

MJ

Getting it rn

I can’t believe we forgot we were meeting Gabriel tonight

Peter

Tell me about it!

When Miguel mentioned it this afternoon I told him I had no idea what he was talking about and then he reminded me

Gosh that was embarrassing

I can’t believe we didn’t put it on the calendar

MJ

Too late for that now, but I did just get the cake!

Peter

Swinging your way as we speak

I grabbed the casserole

And I know we talked about it a million times but we aren’t bringing wine right?Just don’t want ADHD brain to get me wrong

MJ

Yeah no wine

Miguel still hasn’t said anything about it, but the last time we drank he had such a distraught, distant expression on his face. I never want to see it again.

Peter

Yeah we should probably talk to him about that?

MJ

Yeah we should

But we should also stop texting so you don’t get flattened by a skyscraper

Peter

Lol alright. Love you, see you in a bit! ❤️

MJ

Love you too! Be safe 💚

MJ to 2099
5:28 PM

MJ

Just wanted to let you know we’re almost there hun 🥰

2099

Gracias.

Gabriel is still suspicious. He doesn’t believe I somehow managed to get not one but two partners.

Keeps saying I must have hired you both.

MJ

Oh hun you wouldn’t be able to afford me I am PRICELESS 

Peter on the other hand? You probably could have picked him up from the thrift store 

2099

Pfft. Right from the clearance bin.

MJ

“I am reading this over MJ’s shoulder and I am OFFENDED” — Peter

2099

Suck stones Peter

Wait.

How are you two even getting here?

MJ

Peter’s swinging us! It’s incredible for sight-seeing. I still LOVE the whole flying car thing your dimension’s got going on!

2099

Please don't forget to watch out for Fly Boys and make sure the web doesn’t break. You two don’t want to end up in downtown. 

MJ

We won’t! 

We’ll be there in a bit! 

Love you! 💚❤️

2099

Love you too. 💙

hobie to Peter
7:23 PM

hobie

aye bruv i just wanted to let you know that mayday somehow managed to find an uncovered socket and almost got a little shock

but i got her in time and shes all good and in web time out

Peter

Oh lord.

Thank you Hobie for getting her in time!

Outside of that incident has she been good for you tonight?

Also, is midnight still okay with you?

hobie

oh yeah no prob

mayday's been behaving like an angel i just wanted to lyk bout that

but also yeah midnight still works no worries 

Peter

Alright just wanting to make sure we aren't keeping you from home or anything!

hobie

nah

home can wait

Peter

Well just please make sure to eat something! Everything in the fridge is free reign as always.

Unless it says MJ on it, then no can do. But if it has my name you're all good!

Oh scratch that, MJ says you can also have her stuff too!

hobie

i may take you guys up on that tbh

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
7:44 PM

🥁

Zavier to TJ: “your existence means that I have no idea what is going to happen in this timeline.”

Miles: “IS THIS PLAY ABOUT US???”

🌻

I just can’t believe what an INSANE coincidence it is 

This guy looks just like me (minus the hair a little) and bro is considered an anomaly in a timeline by some freaky powerful guy with red eyes. What are the odds??

I can't believe some knockoff Pokemon game on ROBLOX of all things is giving me flashbacks 

☕

At least the doodles are cute??

ALSO @WONT CONFORM

How is Mayday tonight? :D

🥁

yes!! how is our favorite ginger?

WONT CONFORM

shes all good shes been causing all sorts of havoc which of course i encouraged because she needs to learn her limits

i did have to detain her to a web because she wanted to electrocute herself from an uncovered socket

felt like a coppa for that one but eh shes no miles i dont think shed handle volts very well

🥁

omg.

WONT CONFORM

yeah

but shes good now

we are watching some lass named ms rachel on the big tv

🌻

MS RACHEL???

I mean.

Ms Rachel whos that?

☕

Dude you are NOT slick!!

🌻

Man dont come for me

Ms Rachel is a GOAT

Ive never seen anything from her but my ma says that the babies/toddlers at the hospital LOVE her videos

☕

Wait.

Does she do speech stuff??

WONT CONFORM

yeah shes teaching nursery rhymes and stuff

☕

I think my universe has someone kind of like that! But she’s Ms Ryka!! My baby cousins are OBSESSED 

🥁

I don't think we have a Ms Rachel.
which is a shame because she sounds dope.

🌻

Man we need to show you Ms Rachel Gwen you need some strong women role models in your life.

☕

MILES????

DUDE

WONT CONFORM

was that a burn or just a very poorly constructed message 

🥁

ah you're not wrong tbh. the first time I met Jessica I asked her to adopt me 

🌻

SEE

If you can't have Ms Rachel we can get my ma

🥁

???

why would I even want Ms Rachel?

🌻

Idk when I think of strong female role models I think of my mom, Ms Rachel, Malala, RBG, Frida Kahlo, Dorothy Vaughan, and Beyoncé.

I used to think Dr Octavius but then she turned out to be evil.

OH!! And Margot Robbie in her Barbie role she did recently!

☕

I thought you didn't watch anything from Ms Rachel why would you consider her a role model?

🌻

BECAUSE I CAN?

WONT CONFORM

those are the best words to live by 

“hobie why did you graffiti the london tower”

because i can 

“hobie how did you build a gizmo from scraps”

because i can 

“hobie why are you eating a whole loaf of bread and nothing else for supper”

because i can

☕

Hobie why are you eating straight up bread??

🌻

Did we not just establish this Pav?

Because he can

🥁

oh I feel that!

yknow when you're a kid sometimes dinner was a microwaved hotdog and a piece of white bread for a bun.

🌻

WHAT

☕

excuse me?

WONT CONFORM

yeah or beans on toast

🥁

ehhh I was more of a straight shredded cheese on a tortilla kind of girl.

oh or if you were craving smth sweet and only had lays potato chips and leftover frosting from a birthday cake like months ago, and that was dessert.

WONT CONFORM

you officially lost me with that one gwen 

🌻

Pav am I going insane??? What am I reading rn?

☕

Dude I don't know I'm literally shaking rn.
What are you guys talking about what oh my god

🥁

idk just meals I used to eat as a kid?? 

I mean we really only have one income and we live in New York, money was kind of tight as a kid

I mean obv it's better now, but sometimes things were touch and go as a kid so my dad came up with like cheap meals ig? Idk why they’d be called 

WONT CONFORM

eh names dont matter what matters is mayday is in full support 

shes been reading this over my shoulder and her comments are:

“alllpmhbajpiib.  O&01&&&pokbkojhahahabbn. Nooam km” 

she typed them herself

🥁

such wise words.

🌻

ARE WE SERIOUSLY GLOSSING OVER THIS RN???

🥁

totally.

WONT CONFORM

yes

anyway 

ill send pics of mayday now as payment for you two’s trauma

☕

A small price to pay. 

Peter to hobie

11:32 PM

Peter
Alrighty kiddo we’re on the way home! 

Peter to 2099
11:34 PM

Peter

Hey Miguel, MJ and I just wanted to say we had a FANTASTIC time tonight! It was lovely meeting Gabriel officially, he was hilarious. We would text in the fam gc rn but MJ is too busy trying to figure out how the hover cars work.

2099

I’m glad you two had fun. Gabriel is insisting I give his number to you two, so you’ll probably be hearing more from him soon. 

Please be safe getting home.

Also the Maglev cars work through polarizing strips that create opposite magnetic charges that allow them the float.

I think. 

Peter

“THANK YOU MIGUEL” — MJ

2099

Tell her I said you’re welcome 

Peter 

kakskLallpapzpmmnx

😏

jKAKSKSLAKSL

SHE STOLE MY PHONB FOR THAT

2099

...

😏

Peter

NOT YOU TOO OMG 

OH and before I forget!! 

I’ll let you know if Hobie ends up going to his dimension or not okay? 

I know you’re still stressing about all of that so I’ll ask him tonight

2099

Thank you.

I don't know what’s wrong with me, but something in me is just on edge right now.

Peter

No no I don't think there's anything wrong with you

I’ve kind of got the same vibes too?

He’s been strange the last few months. Distant. Not as carefree as he used to be I guess? Idk

2099

Yes. It’s concerning. 

And I know we talked about it earlier during lunch, but I swear I can smell him in HQ when I definitely shouldn't be able to.
It’s got my stupid spider instincts firing off like crazy. 

Peter

Maybe it's not the spider instincts? Maybe it's dad instincts

Because I’m getting the same sense too

2099

You know, I'm tempted to check the feed. Just to look. Just to make sure everything is fine.

Peter

Miguel.

2099

I know.

Peter

You promised. 

2099

I know. I said I wouldn't check them outside of missions anymore.

I won't. It’s just a temptation. 

Peter

Good. 

Anywho, we’re almost home, so I’ll talk to you later! Bye, love you! ❤️

“LOVE YOU 💚” — MJ

2099

Love you two too 💙

Chapter Text

The Fam ❤️💚💙
12:03 AM

Peter ❤️

So. May have to hold out on getting that info for you @Miguel 💙

<picture attached>

[Pic. Desc: It’s a surprisingly clear picture, considering Peter was the one to take it. It’s of Hobie, his lanky body sprawled out on the Parker-Watson’s couch as he sleeps, head lolling so far it threatens to slip off the arm of the couch. He’s looks strangely small, curled up and without his signature leather jacket. Mayday rests on his chest, passed out in a similar fashion to Hobie, drool darkening the center of the teen’s shirt, her mouth hung open in what can only be assumed is a snore. Nearby, on a glass coffee table, evidence of the night sits: a children’s book of ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’, a little glass plate with crumbs of bread, Hobie’s phone, and a remote pointing to the T.V, where a woman with a pink headband appears to be stuck mid-sentence.]

He looks soooo comfy!

Miguel 💙

It’s good seeing him get some rest

Did his spidey sense or whatever not tell him you guys were there?

Peter ❤️

He may be relaxed enough with us that it doesn't recognize us a threat

Which would be SUCH a relief

He can be so skittish sometimes

MJ 💚

Is it alright if Hobie stays the night in our dimension? Or will that risk hurting him?

Miguel 💙

As long as he has his gizmo, he won't glitch and he’ll be fine

MJ 💚

Perfect

We’re going to let him sleep

Peter ❤️

I'll ask tmrw morning how about that? 

Miguel 💙

Sounds good to me ty both

Try to keep an eye on him

Peter ❤️

Will do 👍🏻

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
1:15 AM

☕

Guys if animals could write what would they write about? I wanna know what little stories and poems strays would write :[

Or like what does the sky look like from a bird’s perspective?? Do they find it as freeing as we do, or is it the sky like how the ground is to us for them? Since they can fly and stuff?

🌻

Well I mean we can kind of fly? Do you find swinging freeing?

☕

I mean totally!!

But I think it would be different for other animals tho yknow?

🥁

I think I see what you're saying.
and I vibe with it.

pls continue pav.

☕

Idk I was just thinking it’d be so cool to know like. The stories that animals have!!

Like there's this little cat in the alleyway near my house and she’s SOOO CUTE but she’s super scarred up and too feral to really get help for but I still try to feed her and I just want to know what she's experienced yknow??

Like, imagine the world through a cat’s eyes!! Imagine if they could verbalize all of the love they have

THEIR PURRS????

Yknow those Drumblr posts on Tacktrigue that like always talk about the little moments of human experiences like laughter and crying. Imagine that. But with cats. 

🌻

Pav

That is absolutely adorable and I love it sm

But wtf is Drumblr and Tacktrigue

🥁

yeah I have Drumblr but not Tacktrigue?

☕

Oh!! Drumblr is like an older site?? Idk how to describe it really I mainly see it on Tacktrigue. It’s like a note thing idk

And Tacktrigue has like a bunch of aesthetic stuff! And baking recipes. And idk baby room inspiration? You can make like little boards with Tacks

🌻

Oh! I think we have that 

Tumblr and Pinterest 

☕

That. That’s a much better name than Tacktrigue.

Drumblr is fire tho

🌻

Yeah I had to guugle just to make sure it didnt exist here

Idk about tumblr ive never been on it

Im only on instagram and Pinterest 

🥁

do you guys not have Twitter?

🌻

What

☕

No?

🥁

damn why am I stuck in the hell hole dimension wtf

anyway also pav I adore that 

I want frogs to vividly describe what it’s like to get rained on 

☕

Omg imagine dogs.

They’d write so happily!!

🌻

What would ants write about?? There's so many ants in the world imagine the sheer amount of content ants would create because there are so many 

☕

Ants would 100% use it to protest for workers rights!

🥁

hell yeah. 

WONT CONFORM

do you lot not have school tomorrow 

☕

HOBIE!! 

🥁

what are you doing awake hobs?

also yeah but who cares about that

WONT CONFORM

my phone was blowing up

which honestly was a good thing

i passed out at peter’s house

woke up with a little blanket and everything 

🌻

AW

☕

Omg that's so cute bro!! 

WONT CONFORM

yeah yeah

thanks for waking me up though

please try to get some rest 

🥁

hey don’t be a hypocrite you get some sleep too. 

WONT CONFORM

totally sure 

hobie to Gwen
1:26 AM

hobie

hey just wanted to lyk i forgot my battle jacket back at home during patrol so im gonna to get it 

Gwen

dude are you sure that’s a good idea?

hobie

itll be a quick in and out

just wanted to tell you in case

Gwen

hobs can you wait until tomorrow pls? wouldn’t it be safer if we both went together?

hobie

itll be fine 

Gwen

hobs please.

hobie

gwen what if the coppers find it

ik that its stupid and dangerous and ik im all about inconsistency but thats the one thing i have left other than my guitar and this bloody phone and i aint about to let them get their fuckin hands on it 

Gwen

okay

okay I totally get that.

but you should at least wait for me to come with you

I just got to let my dad know rq.

hobie

nah stay itll be a quick jump like five mins there isnt a point in wakin your dad up and you got school tmrw

i already got the coordinates in

Gwen

you are the most stubborn person ive ever met

fine.

but pls pls text me when you get back to the lab.

or better yet just come visit me 

hobie

i’ll come visit

see you in a bit gwendy

Gwen

be safe

The Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
1:31 AM

☕️

I realized I totally forgot to tell you guys this funny experience I had.

Auntie Maya told me yesterday that she was trying to wake me up at some in the night and she was kind hovering above me and when I opened my eyes I went “Ahhh! Who is that?!” and she was like “It's me” and I was like “you good?” and she was like “no” and basically was trying to explain something to me but I just smiled and curled in further in my bed and went “that's nice :]” before going straight back to sleep

I have NO memories of this.

🌻

Does this happen often Pav??

☕️

Yeah unfortunately.

I’m a very deep sleeper.

I can have my eyes open and having a full blown conversation with you but I may actually be asleep.

🥁

is that why you were so confused when I told you about our argument during the sleepover?

☕️

OH YEAH

Yeah I was probably asleep!

🌻

Holy shit I remember that

Dude your eyes were wide open

I had no idea you were asleep

🥁

that’s lowkey kinda crazy.

Gwen to hobie
1:49 AM

Gwen

did you end up going to the lab?

hobs?

Spiderkids! 🕷️✨🕸️
1:52 AM

☕️

Ikr!! It’s wild!

🌻

Oh that does reminds me!

My ma wants to officially meet you all soon! She says she’s tired of the watches buzzin out on her lmao

Are you guys free maybe this Wednesday night? 

🥁

yep I should be.

☕️

Oh same!! I would love to!! 

🌻

Cool cool!

My dad’s cooking so it’ll be smothered pork chops and baked mac&cheese if that’s okay with you guys?? I think he’s also making peach cobbler for dessert? 

🥁

that sounds SO good.

☕️

Ooo! Idk if I’ve ever had baked mac and cheese! 

🌻

Oh you’ll LOVE it

My dad’s is the best hands down

@WONT CONFORM what about you? You down? 

Gwen to hobie
2:01 AM

Gwen

hey what happened to five minutes?

pls tell me you’re just asleep

I’m going to spam you just to try and wake you up okay dont be mad later

@hobie

@hobie

@hobie

hellooooo

hobs

hobs

Akdkkd

lalpspcp

palanxns

ajdjsa

apaps

Fogoocjwnw

okay that clearly didn’t work.

dude youre worrying me. pls text me back.

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
2:07 AM

🌻

Oh ig Hobie is probably asleep now

Crap I hope we aren’t disturbing him 

☕️

He probably has do not disturb on, so it’ll be all good I think! 

🌻

Oh yeah yeah 

🥁

oh I didnt even think of that.

Gwen to hobie
2:08 AM

Gwen

pls answer the phone

pls

im going to keep spamming you with calls 

Spiderkids! 🕷️🕸️✨
2:09 AM

☕️

OMG MILES

Ive been meaning to tell you that I got that info youve been wanting to know about Mr O’Hara

🌻

Wait what

Sorry its too late at night idk what youre talking about 

☕️

The 🫘 info

🌻

WHAT

NO WAY

☕️

YES WAY 

🌻

SO DOES HE HAVE THEM? 

☕️

HE DOES

🌻

OMG OMG OMG 

☕️

4 (FOUR) SOURCES HAVE CONFIRMED THAT MIGUEL [MIDDLE NAME] O’HARA HAS HAND AND TOE BEANS LIKE A CAT 

🌻

this is incredible

I thought I saw them during the chase but obv because I was getting my ass kicked I couldnt confirm

this warms my heart considerably and is PERFECT teasing material

Thank you for blessing me tonight Pav 

☕️

Of course bro 🥰

Gwen to hobie
2:14 AM

Gwen

im about to jump to your stupid world right now istg

hobie

gwen

m c oMin

Gwen

FINALLY omg omg

thank God.

I swear I’m going to kill you for making me worry. 

Gwen to 2099
2:22 AM

Gwen

@2099

@2099

@2099

MIGEL

miguek pls come to my dimsension asap hobs is hurt bad pls my da is tryingto patch him but its not workink hes losing to mucj blood

2099

Mireda

On my way right now.

Chapter Text

Gwen doesn't know what to do. 

This is my fault, she thinks frantically as she sends her last desperate message before slinging her phone across the bed and rushing out of her room. Should have gone with him. Stupid. Stupid! Fuck! What had she been thinking?

Her feet thump against the hardwood floor, and her socks cause her to slip as she turns a sharp corner, stumbling into the living room. The scene is just as bad as when she had left: her dad is beside Hobie’s sprawled-out form on the floor, his gloved hands fluttering against the teen— he murmurs something that Gwen can’t pick up and she dashes to their sides, crouching down. 

Gwen has never seen Hobie this absolutely wrecked. He looks fucking mangled, like a crushed bug, limbs twisted and out at odd angles and body twitching as it shifts through a billion different shades of frightened colors. She doesn't know how he managed to text her, how he even managed to get here.

He’s looking up at them both with glazed eyes, uncharacteristically quiet except for the low hisses of pain that escape from his broken nose as her dad pressing gauze to the open wounds exposed from his chest, his clothes ragged and torn. Her dad is in full Cop Mode, shoulders hunched as he leans over Hobie— assessing injuries, barking orders to her, making sure that he doesn't pass out— they’ve already used half of the first-aid kit, and she doesn't know what else to do other than sit there.

She’s going to be sick.

“Hobs,” she says, tears pricking in her eyes because No, no no this can’t be happening. Not again. Never again. “It’s okay— it’s gonna be okay, Da’s got you—” She reaches down, grasping his palm, ignoring his gnarled fingers (—oh God, if they heal too quickly, he’ll never be able to play the guitar again—) and squeezes. “Help— help’s on the way.” She hopes. She desperately hopes.

Then, like a fucking miracle, a humming fills the room and Gwen looks up in time to see a portal ripped into the side of the wall. Her dad, only half-expecting this, glances up for just a brief moment to see pajama-clad Miguel O’Hara step out of the portal and into the living room.

“Oh, thank God,” she breathes, and Miguel is already moving towards them. 

“Lyla! Scan him!” Miguel is gone— tone rugged, eyes wild— and Gwen scurries onto the couch as he moves with enough purpose she knows to get out of the way. He settles into the spot she had been not a moment ago. 

“Give me a second, Miguel—” Lyla’s voice pitches through the room as she glimmers into existence on his and gasps at the sight of bones jutting out of Hobie’s legs, the bruises and oozing wounds leaking blood,  “—oh, this is so bad.”

I’ve had worse, nothin’ to worry ‘bout, Gwen can imagine Hobie chirping, trying to be nonchalant, but all he does is wheeze. There’s no hint of recognization in his eyes as Miguel hovers above him; a choked noise pulls out of the man’s throat as he roves over the extensive injuries, which causes her dad to look at him even as he continues to press gauze to the largest wounds spanning Hobie’s chest. 

“Mr. O’Hara,” her dad says, because this is the first time they’re ever meeting and Gwen doesn't have time to correct him because there are bigger things to worry about than names, “We’ve got to move him.”

“Shock, I know. The portal goes directly to the Med-Bay—” 

Her dad is getting up immediately, rising to his feet and clearing a path. “Then go,” he looks at all three of them, eyes lingering on Hobie, “I’ve done all I can— but I’m not a doctor. Take him, or so help me I’ll—” 

“We will,” and Gwen is surprised she’s the one speaking. She turns to Miguel, “We will.”

Because this is Hobie— punk-rock, anarchist, strong Hobie— her best friend, her brother— there isn’t anything in the world she wouldn’t do for him, why she even contacted Miguel in the first place. Seeing her dad and Miguel exchange a look, something so powerful and distinctly fatherly, she knows there will be no argument against her.

Miguel moves.

Everything is a blur for Miguel, at this point. He’s not sure how, but he and Gwen manage to get Hobie through the portal and to the Med-Bay. The few medically-inclined Spiders that stay at Babylon Towers are already there, having been notified and sent the schematics of what’s happening by Lyla, and they take Hobie from them— it’s a chaotic whirlwind of movement and shouting and there’s so much blood.

One of the nurses scolds them for moving an injured patient without proper care, but in the same breath, praises them (mainly Gwen) for their quick thinking. At some point, they’re lead out of the room and into some waiting area, but Miguel’s senses only slow down as the buzz of the fluorescent lights reach his ears and he blinks and realizes that there’s still a child he needs to take check in on.

He blinks, looking down to see Gwen folded into a plastic chair, head in her hands and legs tucked against her chest. “Gwen,” he says, and she flinches and looks up at him with so much hesitancy, so much guilt, it has his chest tightening uncomfortably. “What happened to him?”

“I— I don’t know.” 

It sounds like the truth. Miguel doesn’t think she’d lie right now, not after seeing Hobie like that, not with the shame curling off her shoulders like smoke tendrils. 

He frowns. Then sighs. Because now he knows that they’re about to have an uncomfortable conversation too soon, and he was expecting to do this with Peter, who’s always been better at these things. 

“I know Hobie’s been staying in a closed-off lab,” Gwen gulps, but she doesn’t try to deny anything, so he continues, “and I know something else is up with him. You two are close—” and that’s an understatement. “—and I understand that maybe you promised him you wouldn’t…I don’t know, say anything? About what’s going on? But Gwen, really think about what’s happened tonight.”

He pauses, allowing that to set in, even if it isn’t completely necessary. She probably won’t get the image of Hobie’s crumpled form out of her mind for a long, long time. He knows it’ll permanently tattooed behind his eyelids for the rest of his life. 

“I—” she looks away, her hands wrapping around her legs, “I can’t,” she whispers. “It’d be a…a breach of trust.” And of course she’d be hesitant about trust, after all the things that happened with her dad and Miles— Miguel would understand, too, if this situation wasn’t so obviously dire. 

How does he even proceed with this?

He tries to ease into it, keeping his tone soft. “Gwen. You understand the seriousness of this, I know you do.” 

“I do, but—”

“Please.” Gwen’s eyes widen at the word, raising her head to look up at him. “No one’s going to be in any trouble. Mierda, that’s the last thing I want, but I need to know what’s going on.” 

Even with this, Gwen still hesitates, so he sighs. “Kid, you know I have holograms. All I have to do is call Lyla.” Gwen curls further into herself at those words, pressing her head against her knees. “Now, I don't want to break my promise about the feeds, and I’d rather hear about whatever is going on from you, but I’ll do what I have to.” 

Because Miguel is well-versed in doing things he doesn't want to do and putting his foot down when needed. 

This isn't any different. 

“I—” Gwen swallows, her shoulders shaking. “—fuck. I can’t hold it any longer.” She looks up at Miguel, and her eyes glint wetly under the fluorescent lights. “I’ll—I’ll tell you all that I know.”

And, to Miguel’s horror, she does.

2099 to Peter
3:41 AM

2099

Peter?

Are you awake?

Peter

Yeah!

Mayday woke up, so I had to settle her down. She looked ADORABLE though, and I took like a million pictures so I’ll send those to you!!

Oh also I think Hobie must have woken up and skedaddled. I didn’t see him on the couch. Sorry about that wont be able to ask him about his dimension :(

2099

This is about Hobie.

I got a text at 2 from Gwen panicking and begging for me to come to her dimension because apparently Hobie was bleeding out. 

Peter

What

2099

I don’t know all the details about it, but the kid’s in HQ’s med right now. He was clucked up Peter. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Peter

Omg

Do I need to come over there

2099

Not right now.

Maybe later.

Peter

Fuck alright

Holy shit

2099

But I decided to go ahead and have a conversation with Gwen. Like we talked about. And Peter she told me everything about what’s been going on with Hobie.

Peter

Everything?

2099

Shocking everything.

Peter I don’t know how any of this was happening under my nose.

It’s so confusing and I don’t even know how to process half of it.

Peter

Do you want to talk about it?

2099

Can I?

Peter

Yeah ofc dear

2099

I’m just trying to think of how to even start.

Well, apparently the United States government and the British government are interwoven in Hobie’s world. And at some point, Hobie killed the president, which sent both countries into a panic and they started hunting him down. I don’t remember how Gwen describe them, but these police officers (Thunderbolts??) have been trailing him like shocking dogs. But they didn’t just go after him. They went after everyone of Hobie’s friends too.

Peter, they killed all of them. They’ve burned down the community centers Hobie helped enact. Every place he’s lived. It’s clucking chaos. Apparently he’s been hiding in the lab because he’s been too scared to stay in his dimension, but he doesn’t want to give up on it either. Gwen says he hops between her house and HQ to stay at, but he’s been homeless this entire time.

He’s had all of this on his shoulders, and I had no idea. I can’t even begin to imagine it. 

Peter

Oh my God

That poor kid, jesus

Is all of this in his canon?

2099

Not all of it. He’s just meant to kill his president. Everything else afterwards doesn’t align with anything I’ve ever seen.

I looked up his canon events, none of this is supposed to be happening, but his world isn’t destabilized either. It doesn’t make sense.

And shock I don’t know how I didn’t realize what was going on sooner.

Peter

Miguel please don’t blame yourself. 

2099

How can’t I?

All of this was happening and I didn’t have a clue.

I should have at least checked in on him whenever I knew something was wrong, but instead it was on the shoulders of two kids.

I’ve failed them both Peter.

Peter

You did NOT fail them. When Gwen needed you, you came, and that’s all that you could do without having any idea of what was happening. You did all that you could.

I love you, MJ loves you, Mayday loves you, and I bet those kids love you too, and I know they would not be happy with you saying this.

I’m omw rn I don’t care what you say.

And MJ says that she’s going to be texting you too. 

2099

I

Thank you.

Peter

Of course.

I’ll see you in a bit. ❤️

2099

💙