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The house was dark and quiet when Tina stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She turned the lights on in the hallway and put the empty duffle bag she brought on the floor with a loud sigh. It wasn't going to be easy, she knew that, but as she found herself standing by the door in the house she called her own, knowing it was the last time she saw it like that, the actual heaviness of the situation overwhelmed her. She was only glad that Angie wasn't here to see her walk out later, taking away the last traces of her presence.
This part still hurt her the most, and she hated herself for doing it to Angie, leaving her here, even if under the best care of her other mom, but nonetheless leaving her. Of course, she could - and she did - repeat over and over again how it wasn’t leaving at all, because she was going to be just a phone call away. She could quiet her own conscience, focusing on how mature Angie was, how at this age she didn’t want or need to spend as much time with her parents anyway. Still, she was angry at herself, and she was angry at Bette for making her do this.
She looked around and smiled sadly. For a second, her eyes fell shut, and she could almost hear the music from Angie’s room upstairs and the quiet humming coming from the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she could almost smell the food Bette would be preparing for dinner when she would come home first, mixed with a faint scent of her wife’s perfume. She opened her eyes and sighed deeply. It used to be a home filled with so much love it seemed impossible to ever undermine. But it wasn’t.
The things she just remembered were so familiar, and real at some point, but it hasn’t been their actual reality for many months now. For the last year or so, more often than not, Tina would come back to an empty house just like the one she entered now. If Angie was there, the music blasting from her room would be loud enough already to drown the sounds of fighting that were bound to come from downstairs the moment both of their mothers were back home. There would be no home cooked meal, but at best some take out containers on the kitchen island or a plate in the fridge that went cold long before that, waiting for the person it was made for to come home.
It used to be a home filled with love, for sure. At one point.
And even though Tina knew Bette still loved her, she definitely hasn’t felt it in a very long time.
(Paradoxically, she didn’t question that part when she asked for divorce, and she won’t question it for years, until much later when in an empty hospital hallway a desperate ‘Are you still in love with me?’ forces its way out of her lips, sounding much more like ‘Do you even love me still?’. She will hate herself for that, too.)
For now, she knew Bette loved her. And she knew she loved Bette like she’d never love anyone else. She also knew it wasn’t enough for her to stay, and that her staying was actually the only thing that could change that. In some weird, twisted way, she was protecting their love by leaving when they both still remembered it, before they could spend the rest of their lives watching it shrink from day to day, and wither, and die, buried under nothing but resentment.
Those were the things that Tina was thinking about while she walked further into the house, her eyes sweeping over every piece of furniture. The table, where she could still see the three of them sitting down for their daily family dinner, back when she insisted they made time to eat together every night. Then one night a week. Then, at least for their birthdays.
Tina’s gaze fell on the couch, and she involuntarily smiled at the memory of the time when she sprained her ankle and spend a week barely standing up from it, moving only to go to the bathroom or to bed. The doctor said she should minimize movement and as soon as Bette heard that, she forbade Tina to get up at all, completely ignoring her wife’s reassurance that she would be fine. Instead, the brunette took a few days off to take care of Tina, bringing her an endless supply of tea and snacks, and making sure she didn’t have to so much as lift a finger. When she could finally walk on her own, Tina swore she wouldn’t sit on that couch for at least a month, but soon enough she was back to spending every night there, cuddled with Bette, watching a movie together or just talking about their day.
Later, Tina would usually watch something by herself, often falling asleep in the middle of the film, and every time she woke up, she would find herself still alone in the same place on the couch, but carefully wrapped in a blanket.
Her finger traced the smooth wooden surface of the dresser in the living room, the framed photos standing on the top of it.
One of them was taken by her, and she remembered exactly when she took it. Ten-year-old Angie and Bette were napping on the beach, each on their own sunbed, but lying in the exact same position, with one arm behind the head and another one on the stomach. Even the grimace on both their faces was identical, the resemblance so striking it still made Tina chuckle years later.
The second one was from their early days. They were sitting on the couch during one of the parties in their WeHo house. Bette had an arm thrown around Tina in a protective manner, keeping her close. Tina’s head was resting on Bette’s shoulder, tilted up, so she could look up at the brunette. They were smiling softly at each other, unaware of the person taking their picture, or of all the other people in the room for that matter. Shane gifted them the photo, saying that it should be illegal for two people to be so in love. Looking back, maybe it should’ve been.
Tina sighed and took the third photo in her hands, looking closer. It was taken right after their courthouse wedding. They were standing in front of the building, Tina was holding Angie in her arms, her head once again resting against Bette’s shoulder. Bette was standing right next to her, hugging her close with one hand and holding Angie’s little hand with the other one. Both mothers were looking lovingly at the little girl, who was smiling from ear to ear.
"You can take it if you want to. I have a copy of that one."
Tina jumped, with a hand on her chest, frightened at the sound of a voice coming from behind her.
"Jesus, Bette, you scared me."
She turned around and saw the silhouette of the woman leaning on the door frame, looking directly at her.
"What are you doing here?" Tina's voice was dull, tinged with annoyance.
“I live here.” Bette said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The blonde rolled her eyes. “You were supposed to be out.”
Bette grimaced slightly at the sting, but quickly regained her composure. “I wanted to give you these,” she said and took a few steps forward, dropping a document file on the coffee table.
Tina flinched as the papers hit the surface with a thud. “You could’ve just sent them to my lawyer.”
“I preferred to hand them to you personally.” The brunette crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her now ex-wife, unfazed.
Tina sighed deeply, then pressed her lips together in a firm line. Surprisingly, she wasn’t even angry anymore, she was just tired. So unbelievably tired. “Why do you have to make it harder than it already is?”
Bette let out a throaty chuckle and raised her eyebrows. “Harder for who? For you?”
The blonde clenched her teeth at that.
Bette was so calm, so stoic, it was infuriating. To think that she would understand how hard it really was to be the one who makes the tough decision, the one who leaves, again, leaving her entire life behind too. How hard it really was to leave the only place you ever felt safe enough in to call it a home.
Not that Tina ever actually tried to explain it to her. She didn’t have the energy to do it now, either. She raised her hand and rubbed her forehead.
“Bette, I really didn’t come here to fight with you. Let me just take my things and I’ll go.”
The brunette didn’t really know what she was hoping for staying at home, knowing her ex-wife was going to come, but the words she heard now suddenly filled her with panic. She definitely wasn’t trying to have another confrontation either, another completely pointless fight that would drain them both even further when they were already exhausted beyond measure by all the previous arguments that lead nowhere. Well, they lead here. To them, standing opposite each other with their divorce papers lying between them.
So no, she didn’t want to fight either. She wasn’t trying to disturb Tina or to stop her, knowing there was no point in that anyway when it was all already done. Maybe she just wanted to see Tina’s reaction, or maybe she just wanted to see Tina, one last time.
“I’m sorry, that was unnecessary.” Bette’s voice was much quieter now, much closer to the way it used to sound.
Tina’s face muscles relaxed, and she let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.
“It’s okay, no need to. I know it’s not very pleasant for either of us, I’ll try to finish as quickly as I can.” Tina’s words came out fast, as if she wanted to get over this part as soon as she could, too. She turned around to head to the bedroom.
“Wait,” Bette blurted out, almost surprising herself with it and stopping Tina in her tracks. What am I doing? Tina was looking at her expectantly and it was too late to back out now. “Since we’re already both here, you want something to drink? Some tea? Wine?”
Tina felt paralyzed by the offer. The rational part of her brain was screaming at her how horrible of an idea that was. The less rational part argued that it was just a drink, and created a very convincing image of how nice it would be to just spend this last evening at home in such a normal way. Tina wasn’t sure how normal would it really be for her to stay. She was scared of what could happen, and of what Bette might think of it, if she did.
Seeing the anxiety on her ex-wife’s face, Bette grabbed the papers again and handed them to Tina. “Come on, open it.”
The blonde furrowed her brows, not sure what she was getting at, but Bette only nodded towards the file again, encouraging her to take it. Tina’s hand shook slightly when she reached for the documents, refusing to look at them. She knew exactly what they said, and she couldn’t bring herself to see it.
Tina’s hesitation was still evident on her face, when Bette let go of the papers and took a step back. “Anyway, it’s done, so” she shrugged, “one for the road?” The friendly smile she put on was supposed to prove she had no bad intentions, but instead it just looked sad. Turning around to hide it, she started walking towards the kitchen without waiting for the answer.
With Bette’s back turned to her, Tina finally dropped her gaze to the papers she was holding and flipped it to the last page to see Bette’s signature. It wasn’t that Tina needed confirmation that it was actually there, it was more that she actually needed a reminder that whatever was going to happen that night, their destination was already determined. Her vision got blurry, and she cleared her throat, shutting the file and throwing it back on the table.
“Do you have something stronger?”
Of course, she had it, and Tina knew exactly what and where it was. It felt so stupid, to ask for things in your own house. Not yours anymore.
“I’ll be right back,” Bette said simply, trying not to show the relief that washed over her, and left the room to get their drinks.
Tina looked around again with a deep sigh and sat down on the couch, running a hand through her hair. She had no idea what she was thinking, playing with fire like that, but she just didn’t want to leave yet. She couldn’t leave yet.
When Bette came back, she was carrying two tumblers filled with scotch and put one of them on the table in front of Tina, taking a seat on the couch next to her, but keeping a respectful distance.
“So,” she took a deep breath and looked at Tina, raising her glass, “to the good times?”
Tina's lips curled up when she clinked her glass against Bette’s. “To the good times.”
They both took a sip and fell into a semi-comfortable silence, both thinking what these good times really consisted of.
Tina kept her eyes glued to the glass she was holding, moving it between hands and watching the golden liquid swirl inside of it, lost in thought.
“We’ve had some good times, haven’t we?” Bette’s voice was much warmer now, the words making Tina lift her head to look at the brunette, who was now smiling softly.
She matched her smile with one of her own that slowly got bigger when she thought of the response. “Yeah, we definitely have.”
Bette just nodded and looked away, letting the silence fall on them for a few minutes, before speaking again. “So this is how it ends, huh?”
“I guess so...”
“I really thought that this was it. That we could make it work this time.” Bette said and took another big gulp, enjoying the way it burned her throat. She hesitated for a second. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the late hour talking, and she knew she should stop, but instead she heard herself adding quietly, “sometimes I still think we could make it work.”
The last words were not more than a whisper, but they were spoken loud enough for Tina to hear.
“Bette–”
“No, I know," Bette interrupted, without lifting her gaze from her own hands, "I just wish it was different."
"Don't you think I wish it was different, too?"
"I don't know." Only when she said it out loud, did it occur to Bette how true the statement was, the realization reflecting on her face.
Does she really not know? “You were my first love, Bette.”
The brunette just looked at her with big watery eyes, that now just seemed so hollow, waiting with surprising calmness for what she knew was the next stab.
“I really wanted, more than anything, for you to be my last. My whole life, I believed so strongly that you would be.” Tina’s voice faltered at the end, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, gaining her composure back. “But I just can’t do this anymore. At least not now.”
“I know.” Bette’s words were barely audible, and dull, like just a distant reverberation of something said long ago. She was staring blankly at some random spot on the floor, trying to muster up the strength to say anything else, hoping that when she does, she’ll find the right words.
It was a futile hope. What could she possibly say when she just heard it loud and clear, for yet another time, that she just didn’t do enough. That there was a moment, several moments actually, when she still could’ve changed something and save it, but now it was too late. There is really not much to say when you learn you’re just not good enough at loving the one person you’re bound to love for the rest of your life. Because this she knew, that Tina was going to be her last. And if there was one thing she could do to redeem her previous wrongs, it was to let her go. At least now.
A minute passed, and she raised her eyes to look at the blonde, trying to give her a weak smile. “I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.”
Tina reached out slowly and put her hand on Bette’s, squeezing it.
"Bette… I really hope we will find our ways." And she really wanted to believe that. That after all this time, all this hurt, all these heartbreaks, the fucked up things she did and stupid decisions she made, there was still a possibility for her to find the right way to go through the rest of her life.
But Bette didn't seem to quite get what she meant, because with almost childlike naivety and glazed eyes she tilted her head, and asked, "back to each other?"
Tina didn't have the heart to tell her. She let go of Bette’s hand slowly and looked at her, trying to convey the actual answer in a small, sad smile. She watched as Bette hung her head low, and she nervously rubbed the back of her neck.
The brunette just looked so small, so broken, it was hard to believe that was the same person Tina was leaving because of how much space she was taking up. Bette looked devastated and Tina couldn’t stand looking at her even for a second longer, because if she did, she would have to see it, really see it, the amount of hurt in the eyes she loved so much, and then she would never find the strength to walk out the door.
She's just scared of being alone, she's not grieving because of you.
“I’m going to go get my things.” She said quietly as she stood up, trying to keep her voice calm, then quickly turned around and headed to the bedroom, hoping Bette didn’t manage to see her face.
Once in the bedroom, Tina threw the duffle bag she took with her on the floor. She wanted so bad to be able to just do it fast, thrust everything she needed there and finally leave. Instead, she found herself standing at the foot of the bed and staring at the ceiling, taking deep breaths and trying to blink away the tears that kept blurring her vision. She was so focused on trying to calm her own heartbeat and unclench her throat that she didn’t even hear Bette following her inside the room until she felt strong arms sneaking around her from behind, pulling her into Bette’s frame.
She tensed immediately. “Bette, what are you doing?” The whispered words sounded so weak, even Tina herself wasn't convinced by the supposed protest. She did everything she could to stop her voice from trembling, and failed. What Bette was doing was completely out of place, but she couldn’t help but react to her touch.
Bette let her hands slide up and down Tina’s sides, surprised that the blonde didn’t step out of her embrace yet or pull away her hands. This wasn’t probably the best idea, but she refused to think about it any longer. She didn’t know how far she could go, but knowing this was probably her last chance to be with Tina like this, she was determined to do everything in her power not to waste it.
With her face buried in the blonde tresses, she inhaled Tina’s scent deeply and nuzzled her neck. Her lips softly brushed the delicate skin, moving up and down slowly before grazing Tina’s ear. “One last time.”
The whisper sent a chill down Tina’s spine. Bette’s words were desperate and pleading, but her hands, roaming all over Tina’s body now, tugging on her shirt, opening the buttons, were possessive, demanding. There was no other way but to just lean into it, as Tina felt her body soften and give in before her mind could fully process all the emotions and thoughts swirling inside of her.
Like how unjust it was that Bette wanted to have sex now, as if they haven’t spent months barely touching each other before this. How ruthless, to want her right after handing her the divorce papers, when Tina had spent so long trying to figure out if there was anything about her Bette might still want. How selfish, to act like she could just take what was hers when Tina no longer had anything left to give her.
The anger that was simmering inside of her started to grow, but before it could burst out in violent flames, overwhelming her with just how furious she was at Bette, she felt the brunette ripping out the last buttons on her shirt and tugging on her bra to pull it down without even unclasping it. Tina's breasts spilled forward and Bette’s hands covered them immediately, squeezing them roughly. It was far from delicate, Bette kneaded the flesh and harshly pulled at both nipples, forcing a strangled moan out of Tina.
That’s when Tina realized that no matter how angry she was at Bette, Bette was far more angry at her, and she felt the heat of that rage directly on her bare skin.
It might’ve been wrong, but it felt right, and she was letting it.
Bette pushed Tina’s shirt off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Her moves were frantic, but determined when she opened the button of Tina’s jeans and unzipped them.
She knew it was a lost cause. She knew that at the end of this, Tina would still leave. This wasn’t about pretending none of it was happening, that they weren’t falling apart. And it wasn’t about trying to make Tina change her mind. It was about the naive hope that maybe this would be enough for her to survive the rest of her life on.
She pushed her hand inside of Tina’s underwear, and just held it there, suddenly slowing down, barely touching her, waiting for Tina’s move. “You don’t have to worry, I already signed the papers. I won’t beg you to stay.” Not again.
That was not what Tina was worried about. It was the opposite. ‘Why not?!’ she wanted to ask, Bette’s words like a slap to her face. Why don’t you want me enough to make me stay.
She didn’t say it, though. Instead, she angled her hips, trying to push herself on Bette’s hand and rub against it, when the brunette pulled it away. This time, Tina grabbed it tighter and brought it to her center, making Bette touch her. Fuck me, want me.
But Bette pulled her hand away again, freeing it from Tina’s grip, and grabbed the waistband of her jeans. She tugged on them forcefully, pushing them down Tina’s hips and legs, along with her underwear. Without moving from their position, Tina kicked off the clothes while Bette took off her bra. When she was done, Tina felt a strong push to her back, making her fall forward, forcing her to prop herself with both hands on the mattress. She shifted on all fours to move higher on the bed and heard the rustling behind her, guessing Bette was undressing herself as well. When she turned around to see, she was immediately faced with Bette climbing over her body.
She craned her neck to kiss her, but the brunette turned at the last minute, aiming for her neck instead and planting a firm kiss right on her pulse point before sucking the delicate skin into her mouth. Tina fell back on the pillows with a quiet hiss, her hands automatically reaching to tangle themselves in the dark locks.
Bette kissed Tina’s throat, sucking and nibbling on the skin, while her hand sneaked down the body lying underneath her until she reached the apex of Tina’s legs.
Her fingers slipped between the wet folds, and she cursed under her breath at the sensation. She missed it so much, touching Tina like that, being so close to her, and knowing she was all hers. Now she finally got it back for a night, only to lose it for good. She plunged two fingers inside of her without hesitation, making Tina whimper loudly.
The blonde gripped the sheets around her tightly in her fists, as she felt Bette thrusting deep inside of her. She could tell tonight wasn’t going to be gentle, as Bette pounded into her roughly, and picked up the pace when her fingers, now coated in thick wetness, started moving in and out more easily.
“Fuck, Bette,” a strangled groan left her lips, as Bette pulled out only to slam three fingers into her core, stretching her.
The brunette slowed down, keeping a steady rhythm, her fingers slipping in and out of Tina’s pussy. She was half lying down on top of Tina and could feel their bodies sliding against each other now, covered in a thin layer of sweat. She pulled back and took a minute to look at the blonde writhing underneath her. Her face was reddened, a few strands of hair sticking to her forehead. Her neck and chest were glistening and her eyes, her beautiful hazel eyes, were big and shiny. That light that used to always shine in them has been subdued for months, maybe for years, but now Bette could see the tiniest glimpse of it again.
She looked into Tina’s eyes and felt a chill going down her spine. There was something she was begging Bette to see, and something she was begging Bette to make her feel. It was frightening, and Bette didn’t feel like she was able to do anything about it anymore. She lowered her head, trying to escape the piercing gaze, and dragged her tongue through the valley between Tina’s breasts, licking off the sweat.
Tina clawed at Bette’s back with frustration. She wanted Bette to understand she was hurting as well, and she wanted to show her how sorry she was. She wanted Bette to feel sorry for her too, and she wanted Bette to punish her for what she did. She wanted so much, but once again, didn't know how to get it.
Bette was moving her open mouth over Tina’s torso, grazing Tina’s skin with her teeth, nibbling the flesh of her breast, scraping at her neck, but never really putting enough pressure, as if she was trying to hold back.
“Do it,” Tina whispered harshly, her tone somewhere between angry and pleading.
“Do what?”
Tina didn’t answer, just let out a ragged breath.
“Do what, T?” Bette thrust harder into her.
The reply was almost inaudible. “Bite me.”
Hearing that, Bette sank her teeth into the spot where Tina’s neck met her shoulder, making the blonde cry out loudly. She then latched onto one of her nipples, sucking it hard, bit on it too and tugged roughly.
Tina sucked in a breath at the slight pain, but pushed harder into Bette’s mouth and lifted her feet from the mattress, welcoming her fingers even deeper. She wanted Bette to fill her entirely, to be everywhere, to completely consume her, to take absolutely everything that was left of her, so she didn’t have to think, didn’t have to fight for another inch of space, didn’t have to feel anymore.
As she was getting closer, Tina shut her eyes tight, her mouth open wide, and threw her head back, focusing on the sensation of Bette filling her, Bette fucking her, Bette driving her closer to the edge. It was all getting too much, and she felt herself totally caving in, getting swept by her approaching orgasm.
But in Bette’s mind, that was not how it was going to happen. She put one hand on Tina’s throat, thumb nudging her chin, and turned her head harshly towards her.
“Not like this,” Bette hissed, “you’re going to look at me.”
And so she did. As if that wasn’t painful enough already, Tina’s eyes met Bette’s deep dark orbs as she was reaching her climax. And just like at some point she knew she would wake up to see these eyes as first thing in the morning for the rest of her life, now she was sure she was going to see them every time she closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep. Bette’s dark eyes looking at her not with care and admiration but with reproach and despair. Apparently, this is what you get for believing happiness is something you deserve.
Bette's hand was still on Tina's neck, and maybe she didn't even control it, but as she put more and more strength into her thrusts, the grip was also growing tighter.
Tina was whimpering, her throat contracting under Bette's palm, and even though it pained her, she didn't look away, she didn't move, her body just trembling slightly on its own volition.
She couldn't catch a breath and started feeling slightly light-headed, but she didn't move. She wanted Bette to see. I can't help but love you enough to let you do this to me. I still trust you so much, I'm giving you all I have left.
And maybe Bette understood all of it, or maybe it was just extortion, or the way Tina's vision clouded, but the blonde could swear she saw her eyes getting teary.
Bette pulled out her hand only to push four fingers inside of her. She went as deep as she could, groaning at the feeling of Tina stretched out around her, the warm wetness coating her hand.
"Bette…" Another thrust. Tina came with a scream, gripping Bette's shoulders tightly and holding her close.
The brunette pressed her fingers, waiting as Tina rode it out, her back arching, then collapsed on top of her, her hand still inside, head buried in the crook of Tina's neck. A few seconds passed, with Bette still not lifting her head, and Tina felt something wet on her neck first, then a surpringly gentle kiss being planted on her skin.
"Bette..." she tried again, but the brunette suddenly pulled away and rolled onto her back, pulling Tina on top of her.
Still avoiding her gaze, Bette pushed her down, not taking even a second to look at her, unwilling to. Tina let her. This wasn’t how she wanted to do it, but she knew anything else would be too much to demand of Bette. This was the least she could do for her now, to give her a minimum amount of control in these cruel circumstances. She saw the brunette throwing an arm over her eyes as if trying to protect herself further. She got on her knees, putting both hands on Bette’s thighs, and lowered her head to reach her center.
Bette’s wetness felt warm on her tongue, as she dragged it up and down her folds, circling the hardened clit. She wanted to give Bette her all, so she started licking feverishly, with wide strokes, flicking the swollen nub with her tongue, then sucking on it hard.
With her eyes closed, Bette did her best to keep focusing on the pure sensation of Tina's mouth on her, trying not to think about the context of the situation, just the pleasure of it. She squeezed her eyes, taking deep breaths, but after a few minutes she felt hot tears under tightly shut eyelids. In one moment she realized, if this was the last time she was going to be with Tina, she wanted, she needed to really be with her, no matter how much it might’ve pained her right now. She would never forgive herself if she didn't. Opening her eyes, she tugged on the blonde hair gently, urging Tina to come face to face with her.
The blonde was surprised, but she didn't oppose it. She shifted on all fours above Bette, her hand traveled down her lover’s body and took the place where her mouth just was, as she started to slowly massaging Bette’s wet folds.
The brunette hummed with contentment, letting Tina touch her however she wanted to for a while, enjoying the sensation of skilled fingers slipping over her clit and circling her opening. After a few minutes, she took a hold of Tina’s wrist, keeping it still.
Tina stopped her movements and looked at Bette questioningly. Her ex-wife was looking at her with a different type of intensity, some undefined emotion swirling inside her dark eyes.
“Put the ring on,” Bette whispered.
The blonde swallowed thickly. “No.”
“Please.”
“Bette, I can’t.”
“Just please… one last time, I want to fuck my wife.”
Tina turned around and reached to the bedside table that used to be hers, pulling out a small velvet box and taking out her wedding band. She sucked in a breath at the sight and exhaled slowly, her eyes falling shut, her hands shaking slightly.
Seeing that, Bette carefully covered Tina’s hands with hers. She gently took the ring from her and slipped it on Tina’s finger.
The blonde felt a single tear escaping from under her closed eyelid, and quickly raised her hand to wipe it away, but before she could do that, she felt her hand getting caught in mid-air, warm lips landing on her cheek instead.
Bette kissed the tear away, then planted another kiss right next to the first one, and another one a bit lower, until she kissed her way to the corner of Tina’s lips. The blonde turned her head slightly, and their lips met for the first time that night.
In a lot of ways, their last kiss was similar to their first one. Their lips touched, and they just kept them pressed together for a few seconds, before pulling apart to take a breath, only to meet again, this time opening their mouths slightly. Their lips were sliding together, tongues peeking out almost shyly, probing, then finally diving inside, meeting together, caressing one another.
They let themselves get carried away by the kiss, and without breaking it, Bette pushed on Tina’s shoulders gently and started sitting up, making the blonde straighten up as well. Once they were kneeling in front of each other, their hands reached forward to loop around the neck, to stroke the soft skin on the other woman’s back, before diving between each other’s legs.
The rhythm was familiar, practiced to perfection over the decades. Bette cupped the back of Tina’s head, swallowing every moan that left Tina’s parted lips. Tina put her hand on Bette’s back, keeping her close, clawing at the skin, her nails almost breaking it as her body started to shake slightly. Her hips were rocking into Bette’s hand while Bette’s rocked into hers, both of them coming closer to the edge.
This time, neither one of them had to make the other look. Their eyes met and never parted while they were falling deeper and deeper into each other, completely immersed in the connection. As they neared the end, Bette finally started to feel that their end was coming as well, but this time, she didn’t panic. Tears blurred her vision and rolled down her cheeks, and she let them. She let Tina kiss them away, in the same way she did to her not so long ago, and instead of shielding herself, she looked into the hazel eyes with all the love she still felt as the orgasm washed over her, with Tina following right behind. They collapsed on the bed, holding each other for dear life, the sounds of sobbing muffled when Bette buried her head in Tina’s chest.
Tina was tracing the lines that dried tears left on Bette’s cheeks, looking into those big brown eyes that were still watery.
Bette’s voice was quiet, and painfully soft, when she finally broke the silence. “We can still tear them up.”
Tina smiled sadly as she cupped Bette’s cheek and stroked the soft skin with her thumb. “No, baby,” she brushed a lock away from Bette’s face, trying to distract herself from the way her voice broke. “No, we can’t.”
Bette just nodded, the movement barely perceptible, but didn’t say anything. Instead, she shuffled closer, and snuggled her head in Tina’s neck, feeling the arms around her. She didn’t want to fall asleep, but her exhausted body gave in, and, cuddled into her favorite position, she fell into what would be the last peaceful slumber for quite some time.
When she woke up, it was an early morning, but the clouded sky made it seem so dark as if it was still nighttime. She turned around and stretched her hand, touching the cold sheets beside her. In a way, she was grateful Tina left this way, sparing her the sight of her walking out the door for the last time.
She glanced at the bedside table and realized that the velvet box wasn’t there. She got up and noticed the emptiness taking up so much more space now - in drawers, in the wardrobe, in the bathroom cabinets.
She walked into the living room and took a deep breath.
Not a single one of the three photos was there either.