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It was pretty rare that the girls went out of the house unsupervised. Often, Taker would accompany them all on one big trip, where he could keep a watchful eye on them at all times. Leaving any at the house would surely leave the homeless. One time it nearly did, with Zdrada leaving a lit cigarette on the sofa and turning the Living Room into a firepit. And Lucifer-forbid any of them go out without him. Else he'd be picking them up from the local PD and paying a hefty bail. Of course, there were rare occasions, such as this time. The girls often got into fights, that was a given. Usually, Justice or Judgement might hop in and take care of it. Unfortunately, they were off on a sojourn in Hell, to take care of a backlog of unruly souls that had accumulated throughout their extended leave. Zdrada had taken advantage of this, being the opportunist she is. Five smashed Vodka bottles later and Malina was at her throat, waving a smashed bottle around in a desperate attempt to maim her sister. Taker had intervened successfully, but not without being shredded in the process.
Nobody wins, where sharp objects are involved. He was taking a day to rest. With the aid of Lucifer's 'unholy-magic-voodoo-bullshit,' as Zdrada had called it, the big man would be just fine in about a day or so.
Unfortunately, the unimaginable took place.
They were out of eggs. No eggs, no pancakes.
Zdrada was out of smokes. Nobody liked a grouchy, nicotine-less Zdrada.
And Modeus needed more lube. Not that she minded going dry, but it sure wasn't comfortable for whatever poor (or lucky) soul was shagging her up the jacksie.
And so Taker had to bite the bullet and send them out to get groceries. Thankfully, he trusted Lucifer to be able to handle things in his stead.
"Are you sure I can't just call Judgement back up to keep an eye on them? It's just a short shopping trip?" Lucifer pouts.
"You can handle it, Luce. You're the Queen of Hell." Taker assures her, leaning back in the sofa and wincing, gripping at his side which was torn open by the bottle.
"And none of them listen to me!" She grumbles, frustrated.
"You got it, Luce. I know you do. Besides, those two have a lot of work to catch up on. If one of them comes back up it's just going to pile back up." The behemoth reasons, tilting her head towards him to meet his gaze from above his shades. His eyes are stern. "I believe in you."
A small smile creeps across her face, nigh imperceptible. She preens at the praise, her ego rapidly inflating like some horrific DeviantArt Furry Fetish Art. "Hm. I suppose you're right. We'll be back in no time, Taker. Do be careful to take it easy. I'll be home soon, so we can make dinner." She promises. Taker blanches, remembering the last time he let them go unfed for more than twenty minutes. Butterflies, a tub of Margarine, and a lot of used motor oil. A very bad time, which he had no desire to remember. "Let me know if the others cause trouble for you while I'm out."
And so it was, that Lucifer had sauntered to the van, dragging the Lustful Demon, and the Bitch Demon behind her. She was thankful Taker had taught her how to drive, not too long ago.
"Somebody has to be able to drive besides me, and I don't trust any of the others to drive recklessly, run someone over, or get distracted other than you." As he had put it.
She wishes she hadn't let Taker inflate her ego like that. She may be powerful, and she may be the Queen of Hell. But, well... that didn't mean she carried an air of authority. Not always at least.
She had just barely caught up to Modeus, who had darted away from the cart and begun chasing a man and his wife. She had shouted something about "Threesomes" and Consent being a myth. Normally she'd revel in one of her demons sowing chaos, but they were on a time crunch, Goddamnit!
"Modeus! Bad! BAD! You're going on the Punishment Sofa the moment Judgement gets back, I swear!" She shrieks, spraying Modeus with a spray bottle.
"I'm sorry, Luci, I couldn't help it! They were holding hands, they were asking for it!" Modeus moans piteously, the hearts around her head turning a dull grey.
"You're lucky she isn't here to punish you right now." Lucifer growls, grabbing Modeus by the ear and pulling her back to the dairy aisle. "We're almost done, we just have to get... the smokes..."
Zdrada was gone. Of course, she was gone. "Why can't she just FUCKING BEHAVE for once?!" Lucifer bellows, picking up Modeus as though she weighed no more than a bag of feathers and placing her in the cart like a child. She pushes the cart with desperation, eyes scanning the aisles for any sight of the walking chimney that was the Bitch Demon. She checks every inch of the store to no avail, until a loud crash rings out followed by the sound of hundreds of products falling off shelves.
"I think I know where Zdrada is!" Modeus' impossibly soft voice chimes in, as she sits curled up in the cart.
"Tell me something I DON'T KNOW!" Lucifer glowers, causing Modeus to shrink a bit. She might have felt a little bad about that. Modeus was as horny as a bitch in heat, but she was a sweetheart. Once you got past the shattered kneecaps and lack of any concept of consent.
Yes, the Devil had remorse, fuck you!
Of course, it wasn't hard to find the source of the sound. Not when the source was the shelves from the junk food aisle falling over and pinning the people in the baking aisle down, spilling thousands of chip bags and aluminum baking pans clattering to the tile floor.
At the center of it all was the edgy bitch herself, fishing a pack of butts from a man's shirt pocket, and flicking one alight with her fingers. She takes notice of Lucifer's furious sneer, responding with a shit-eating smirk. "Oh, there you are Lucifer! I was looking for you!" Zdrada cackles.
With anger unparalleled, Lucifer stomps up to her, stopping halfway to turn to Modeus and shout "Don't move!" before continuing towards Zdrada. She doesn't move to put any hands on her, nor berate her. She instead clasps her hands together for a moment in silent prayer. Confusion takes control of Zdrada's face before a light opens up in the ceiling of the store. An angel in a white military dress uniform emerges from the blinding light, her black hair shimmering as she descends to meet Lucifer.
"Lucifer, what is the meaning of this?! What are you doing on Earth?!" The woman demands, brandishing a riding crop.
"Gabrielle, hello. So good to see you again. You see, I am on vacation and thus far I've been behaving rather well. But this one..." She points to Zdrada, a look of horror dawning on her face. Lucifer's visage is twisted in cruel glee. "This one is quite a troublemaker. We can talk about us being up here later, but for now... would you mind beating some sense into this harlot?"
The angel takes a moment to consider the request, deliberating whether or not she should abide by the Devil's suggestion. She settles on agreeing. She could always come and talk to Lucifer after, but right now a demon needed a biblical ass-whopping.
She darts towards Zdrada, and Lucifer turns away with a satisfied, serene smile. Her focus on the sounds of Zdrada begging for mercy is broken when she is yanked to the ground and slapped in cuffs.
"W-what is the meaning of this?!" She demands, thrashing against the binds. She knows not to attack the officer, even if she could easily break free. It would only cause more trouble.
A MalMart employee nervously shuffles up to her as the cop hauls her to her feet. She spies an officer putting cuffs on Modeus while she stares at his crotch, drooling. "Ma'am, I'm going to have to inform you that you three are no longer allowed to shop at MalMart. If you are seen on the premises local Law Enforcement will be notified." The man manages to squeak out before scurrying off towards the customer service office. The officers don't even attempt to break up Gabrielle's ass-whooping. They know better.
All she could do was close her eyes and listen to Zdrada begs for mercy while she waits for the police to remove them.
Sigh. Taker wasn't going to be happy about this.
Or the other demons. Looks like dinner was going to be late tonight.
