I knew about him before I met him. Everyone agreed he was brilliant, but out of his mind, and from the moment I heard his name and reputation, I wondered how right they were. It was a surprise to me when I was assigned to work with him because, as excited as I was for the challenge, I couldn’t picture us working together. He was, in many people’s thoughts, a troublemaker of the FBI; a rebel that loved to break the rules and that for some reason got away with all of his tricks. I was so different from him. I followed the rules and my pride resided on successfully accomplishing what I was ordered to do. That is what I was taught from an early age, to be my father’s daughter, to obey and be the best in my field. The best scenario I could think about working with Fox Mulder, was one in which our disagreement would eventually take me out of the X-Files. The cases we worked on would be interesting memories for the future, people would ask me what it was like to work with him and I would say what everyone else already said, but in a more polite manner; an intelligent guy with some curious ideas.

But after meeting him, I knew I was wrong on almost everything, especially in the part where I thought I could enter his life and get out of it like it was nothing. The moment I held his hand for the very first time, my fate was decided.

Fox Mulder was brilliant and crazy, on that everyone was right. But he was so much more than just that. He was infuriatingly passionate, honest and hard working. He was willing to put everything at risk for the sake of finding the answers he so desperately needed to find and it was scary… and also beautiful. Working by his side wasn’t a simple challenge, it was the biggest one I had come across in my life and I knew, right from the start, that I was ready to break every rule to succeed on it, no matter how complicated it could get. I learned that in order to do it, nothing of what I used to know or believe in was the absolute truth and no one was always right. I wasn’t just my father's daughter anymore and it wasn’t an option to blindly obey my superiors. Turns out, I was crazier than Mulder, because even thought I knew we didn’t stand a chance against the rest of the world's lies, I was willing to put everything at risk for a reckless soul that showed me glimpses of truth.

We disagreed on many subjects, but nothing could make me leave the X-Files. The honest, but still not entire reason behind my loyalty to Mulder, is that our friendship and respect to one another were too deep and important to be broken because of our differences. If there was someone I could trust my life with, it was him, my dearest partner.

Nevertheless, accepting I had that kind of trust on him was easier than accepting the many other things he made me feel, things I had never before experienced in my life until we crossed paths. I was enamored by his speedy mind and his pure soul. For some reason, it was okay for the world to know that I would die and kill for him, than to admit that I loved him in a way that no one else could ever understand.

I think I always knew I loved him.

I had the painful and yearning desire to immerse myself into his psyche. Addicted to the closeness of our bodies and to know every little thing that came through his head, I made it my mission to decipher him, to follow him into the confines of the world and to provide him whatever tools he needed to keep living and fighting against any force trying to stop him from the truth. At some point, though, his fight became my fight, too.

There were times I thought we were doomed from the start. But it didn't matter. As long as we were together... as long as we kept going&... everything felt right.

I miss him every day.