Work Text:
Merlin worked from behind his desk so often that Harry sometimes forgot his husband had the same hand-to-hand combat training as the rest of the Kingsman. Harry was sharply reminded of this as he watched Merlin cut down anyone who touched him.
Within minutes, Merlin was the only living person left standing in the church. He was breathing heavily, the cuffs of his shirt stained with blood, the lenses of his glasses splattered with it.
“Merlin, come in,” Harry pleaded.
“I hear ye,” Merlin panted as he stumbled his way to the exit of the church.
Harry knew something was going to happen. He felt it in his gut, the way his head felt like it was under water.
“But this isn’t one of your hubby’s movies.”
Harry’s heart stopped as the bullet left the chamber of Valentine's pistol. He hardly had enough to grab the garbage can before his stomach emptied itself of its contents. He dry heaved a couple of times before a sob tore from his throat.
V-Day left a bitter-sweet twang in Harry’s mouth. It has been a year since they saved the world, but it was also a year since his life-partner was killed. They both knew there was a chance of either of them dying in the field. Harry had always thought it’d be him.
Harry had spent most of the day at his and Merlin’s spot: a secluded wooded area with a few benches scattered around. Considering all the hustle and bustle of London, Merlin was blessed to have found a small bit of forest that reminded him of Scotland. An upperclassman, a fellow Scot, had told him where to go back in college. The place had become enough of a sanctuary that Merlin hadn’t brought Harry until their second anniversary.
They visited the place semi-regularly. They would bring a little picnic or take turns reading to each other. After an especially bad case, they’d go to feel like they were the only ones in the world if even for only an hour.
Harry had been spending more time there since Merlin’s death. When the wind blew just
right, Harry could swear he could smell faint notes of Merlin’s aftershave. He was jolted from his thoughts by his phone ringing. “Hart,” he answered.
“Harry! Thank God!” Eggsy sobbed into the phone.
“Eggsy?” Harry stood from the bench and started for the road. “What’s wrong?”
“They’re dead. They’re all dead!”
“Slow down. Breathe. Who’s dead?”
“Kingsman. There was a mass attack. Arthur, Roxy, Percival- they’re all fuckin’ dead!”
“I’m on my way to your location; stay put. I’ll stay on the line.”
Harry had been held captive before. Being doused in whisky and threatened to be set on fire was new. It would be a painful way to go, but he wasn’t opposed… Eggsy was the only thing-
“Maybe y’all will change ya minds when you see him.” Tequila stepped aside and the wall
cleared to reveal a one-way mirror.
Harry’s heart started beating again when his eyes landed on his husband. “H-How?”
“So, he is one o’ yours.” Tequila smirked. It was the only information he’d been able to get out of them.
“Wh- Yes.”
Eggsy hadn’t been able to get himself to open his mouth.
“Their story checks out!” Ginger Ale burst through the door with an umbrella in hand. “I found this in our doomsday locker.”
“I-I need to speak to him.” Harry pulled against the zip ties securing his wrists to the armrests of the chair.
“Well sure,” Ginger snipped the thin plastic, “but there’s something you should-”
And Harry was out the door. Merlin was laying on a bed in the middle of the room. A copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy lay open on his chest from when he’d fallen asleep reading it. Harry paused in the doorway. There was a round scar on the side of Merlin’s head by his temple- he’d tried to move when the gun was fired. But his chest was rising and falling.
Harry walked to the bed and dropped to his knees. Hesitantly, as though he was worried Merlin would simply fade away if touched, Harry lifted his hand and cupped it under Merlin’s jaw, softly caressing his cheek with his thumb, tears gathering in his eyes.
“Hamish, lovely, open your eyes for me.” Harry begged in a whisper.
Hamish startled awake, the book falling to the floor, and he jolted to sit up. “Do I know you?”
Eggsy revealed his position in the doorway. “Bruv, you can drop the act. They know we know you.”
Hamish’s frown deepened. “Bruv? I-I don’t know you.” He moved to get off the bed and Harry’s heart stopped beating once more.
Harry stood, trying to keep his face blank. Only then did he notice the sketches covering the walls. Merlin had told Harry how he’d wanted to be a tinker- an engineer- in high school until Kingsman recruited him during his first year of college.
“Hamish…how old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
“I need a moment.” Harry shot out of the room.
Hamish’s face lost all color. “Did I do something?”
“Nah, it ain’t you, bruv. You just…look like someone important to him, ye?” Eggsy scratched the back of his head. “I’m gonna check on ‘im.”
Harry was in the hall, his back against the wall. His eyes were squinted shut, his tight first rested against his clenched mouth.
“That’s what I tried to tell you,” Ginger Ale sighed. “We were able to save his life, but the alpha gel still has some quirks.” She went into the science of how the tech worked, but Harry was only half listening. He doubted he’d understand if he was listening.
“But there’s a way to get him to remember?” Eggsy’s voice brought Harry back.
“We've had success in the past,” Ginger nodded. “The best luck we’ve had is recreating or reminding them of a shock or trauma.”
“What about the water trick from training?” Eggsy suggested. “I still get dreams ‘bout that sometimes.”
Harry shook his head. “He’s primarily a desk agent; he doesn’t know how to swim.”
Eggsy frowned. He’d never known Merlin’s training was different from theirs. “No puppy, then?”
“No.”
Harry was raking his brain trying to come up with something. Merlin had been close with his parents, but they’d died expectedly of health complications due to their old age. He was an only child and Harry had been the only serious partner the man had been with. Of course, he’d lost friends- brothers and sisters- while with Kingsman, but they all knew it was a constant possibility.
After a few minutes of contemplative silence, Harry shook his head. “I don’t know. All of- all of the losses he’s experienced have been expected… Aside from last year he’d never had any near-death experiences.”
Eggsy pressed his hands into his eyes and huffed a sigh. “How do… How do we… There’s gotta be something.”
Ginger looked between the two agents. “You’ve both been through a lot. Why not get some rest and brainstorm. We can try in the morning.”
Harry couldn’t sleep. Not knowing that his husband was so close but so far. There had to be something. He sat at the desk in his room with pen in hand and a paper in front of him. No matter how hard he thought, nothing came to mind.
He sighed and rested his head on his arms, his forehead brushing the cold outside of his wedding ring. His wedding ring…
“A shock, correct?” Harry checked first thing in the morning. “What if it wasn’t traumatic? My proposal was completely unexpected.”
Eggsy was a little worried for his mentor. It was clear the man hadn’t slept a wink the night before. His hair was unkempt, and he was wearing the same clothes as the day before. Not to mention the redness creeping in around the outsides of his eyes.
“It…it could work,” Ginger nodded. “You can try.”
“Where’s his ring? He wasn’t wearing it.”
“We keep all his personal items in this drawer.” Ginger led Harry back to the room he and Eggsy had woken up in the day prior. She opened the second drawer to the bottom. Inside were Merlin’s wallet, cracked beyond use cell phone, wedding ring, and Kingsman issued glasses.
Harry picked up the ring and turned it over in his hand. “I haven’t seen this off his hand since I put it on his finger 21 years ago,” he mused.
“How’ve you been married that long?” Eggsy pondered. “Gay marriage wasn’t legal ‘til 2014.”
“Legally, we’ve been married for three years. We had a ceremony in 1996 with close friends and family.”
This was the most about their relationship Eggsy had heard. He knew they’d been together since he was little, but he had no idea it was that long. He’d seen them exchange a quick kiss when Harry left for a mission. Eggsy didn’t think he’d ever forget the way Harry jumped out his skin when Merlin discreetly grabbed Harry’s ass as he passed them in the hall; Merlin’s shoulders shaking in silent laughter as he kept on his way.
“How’d you propose, then?” Eggsy had to know.
“I’d just gotten back from my third solo mission. I was still considered a probationary agent, but my scores were high enough that I earned some leeway. Merlin had been in Kingsman for a year or two at that point and assigned my handler. We’d been together for three years, but we kept it under wraps. Only Arthur knew, but that was more for policy and paperwork.
“I’d almost died on the mission. In training, they taught us how to shoot, how to hold our own hand-to-hand. I was woefully underprepared for swordplay. I was in the sickbay for a few hours recovering from surgery… I was hardly awake from the anesthesia when I asked him. He asked if I was high and that I would forget. I asked him again when I was released; said he never answered my question, that it was rude of him.”
“What’d he say?” Eggsy aptly listened to every word coming from mentor’s mouth.
“That I was still high if I thought he’d say no.”
Harry took a breath, grounding himself, before opening the door to Hamish’s room. He was seated at the desk, scrambling away in his journal.
“You’ve been rather rude to me, Merlin.” Harry’s smirk was forced, but he’d been an agent long enough that he was a highly convincing actor.
Hamish’s head shot up. “I-I don’t…”
“You don’t think I remember do you?”
“Remember what? Why… Why do you and your friend keep calling me Merlin?”
Harry’s heart twanged but he had to keep the act up if this had any chance of working. “I asked you to marry me. Life’s short and this job isn’t going to get any safer. It might not help us on taxes, yet, but why not?”
Hamish stared at Harry with wide, owlish eyes.
“I could have gotten you a ring for this proposal, but you’re not one for jewelry.”
Hamish shook his head in a wild panic. “I don’t- I’m-”
“It’s alright,” Harry deflated. “You’re in there somewhere.” Harry went to leave but stopped when Hamish grabbed his wrist. “You and your friend…why do you keep calling me Merlin?” he asked again.
Harry smiled sadly. “How much have your rescuers told you?”
“Not uh, not much: that I’d experienced a trauma and I might remember things or have dreams that don’t seem like mine.”
“And have you?”
Hamish shook his head. “Not any that haven’t faded like any other dream.”
Harry nodded. “We call you Merlin because somewhere in those missing memories, you are our magical, divining savior. I still don’t know how Eggsy and I have survived this past year without you.”
“What did I say?”
“Hm?”
“When you proposed.”
Harry took the ring from his right ring finger and held it out for Hamish to see. “First, you said yes, to stop me from rambling because I panicked that you’d say no. Then you called me an idiot- actually you called me a daft fool who was still on drugs- for thinking you’d say no.”
Hamish looked at the right with furrowed brows, spinning it in his hand and studying it. “Can…Can I hang onto this?”
“Of course.” Harry closed Merlin’s hand around it. “It’s always been yours.”
Watching from the next room, Eggsy got the feeling it wasn’t just the ring Harry was talking about.
Ginger said she’d keep an eye on Hamish. Harry had been outside for a while and Eggsy was getting worried. It had been three days since they joined ranks with Statesman and Merlin still wasn’t back yet.
When Eggsy found Harry, he was leaning against a tree, his glasses off. “‘Arry?” Eggsy called as he walked closer.
Harry jumped a little and sniffled once, wiping his eyes. “Eggsy. I didn’t see you come out.”
“You ain’t gotta act all tough with me, bruv,” Eggsy dismissed. “This gotta be hell on you.”
“It’s not fun.” Harry said with a humorless, wet chuckle.
“Do ya need to talk? Or need a hug, or…” Eggsy wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He’d been there for Harry as he grieved for Merlin. But this was an entirely different kind of pain.
Harry shook his head, at a complete loss of words. “Just…that confused, vacant look when we first saw him… Knowing he truly didn’t recognize us…that 21 years of marriage- of life- was just…gone. It’s like losing him all over again.”
“We’ll find a way to get him to remember,” Eggsy promised.
A look of realization crossed Harry’s face. “Losing him all over again… I know how to get him back.” Harry broke out into a run back to the building. Eggsy was on his heels.
“Harry, what-”
“It’s not his near-death experience- it’s mine .” Reaching the room in record time, Harry tore Merlin’s drawer open and pulled out his glasses. He removed one of the arms and plugged the USB into the computer. “Six years ago, I got cornered on a solo mission and didn’t think I was going to make it out. I said my goodbyes. Our glasses have a built-in safe drive. My message should still be on Merlin’s glasses.” The whole Harry spoke, he was pushing buttons on the keyboard at a speed that Merlin would have been impressed with.
Harry’s voice sounded on a speaker in Hamish’s room. “Merlin,” came the panicked whisper. “I think this is it.”
“Wha- Harry, it’s not,” Merlin’s voice answered. Frantic typing could be made out behind their voices as Merlin worked to come up with something. “Instead of saying goodbye, save your breath and say hello when you get home.”
Harry chuckled over the recording. “We had a good run, Love, but we both knew this would come.”
The sounds of gunshot got louder, followed by the cry of “he’s over here!”
“Fuck,” Harry whispered. The breathy chuckle was almost a sob. “I’ll find you again, Hamish, in the next life.”
“You’re gonna be findin’ me at home in an hour. Stop being melodramatic,” Merlin scoffed. “You’re not saying goodbye, damn it, so shut up and let me fuckin’ think, Galahad.”
Hamish was looking around the room like he was trying to find the source of the voices. He knew the voices and images were blending into his mind.
“Just say you love me too and I can pay the band,” Harry begged, his voice cracking. “Because I do love you, Hamish. Until the world stops spinning.”
“I’ve redirected a drone from a nearby base. It’s less than three minutes out. Just hang on until then.” Merlin was speaking quickly, like he was worried he wouldn’t get the words out in time.
Hamish’s eyes were tearing up. This was something he never wanted to hear again. His heart had never beat so fast- not even when he came out to his Catholic parents as a teenager. “Turn it off,” he begged, lowering his head. “I-I don’t-”
“Keep it going,” Ginger slapped Harry’s hand away when he reached for the control. “It’s working.”
“Keep an eye on Lee’s son for me. He’s almost of age.” Harry pleaded. “The hell we could have saved him from.” He cried out at the force of a bullet hitting the shoulder of his suit.
“Harry?!” Merlin called through the mic. “Two minutes. Just two minutes.”
Harry returned fire and there was the sound of a gun clattering to the ground followed by another cry of pain. He cradled his wounded, bleeding hand to his chest.
“We have you surrounded! Surrender!”
“I love you, too.”
And the audio cut out without another gunshot.
“You didn’t fuckin’ die!” Merlin shouted, his back hunched and his head buried in his forearms. “You didn’t! You came home, Harry. Like I fuckin’ said you would!”
Harry opened the door and Merlin rushed to the man, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him into a long, desperate kiss. “You wouldn’t listen. I told you I’d get you home. I-I never wanted to hear that again. Not-not ever. You- you fucker .”
“But it worked, Merlin,” Harry cupped the sides of Merlin’s face looking at him like he was more precious than any rare diamond. “I told you I’d find you, didn’t I?” His chuckle was cracked with a sniffle.
“Keepin’ eye on Lee’s son, eh?” Eggsy smirked from the doorway.
Merlin broke from his embrace with Harry and crossed the room to Eggsy in three strides. He pulled the younger agent into his arms, one arm around his back, the other cupping the back of Eggsy’s head. “We’ve always kept tabs on ye,” he promised.
Eggsy returned the hug. “Always felt like I was bein’ watched,” he teased.
Merlin suddenly jumped back, his eyes wide. “Valentine- he-”
“Bruv, breathe. Valentine’s dead,” Eggsy held his hands out like he was calming a startled animal.
“But that doesn’t mean we’re done ‘saving the world’ quite yet,” Harry added. Explaining the week- let alone the last year- would be interesting.