Work Text:
Lan Wangji stares down at the child sitting in Wei Wuxian’s robes. His hand tightens on Bichen.
The child stares back. And then it lifts its hands, swamped in an adult’s long sleeves. It grins with the force of a dozen suns. "Gege!" it cheers. "A-Ying wants up!"
Wei Ying.
The curse had gone into effect as they sat down to make camp. Wei Wuxian had insisted that the ghost had missed him, but obviously it hadn’t. Now, Lan Wangji is looking at a tiny, chubby-cheeked version of his zhiji, sitting where Wei Wuxian was standing just a moment ago.
A-Ying puts his hands down, his smile drooping. "Gege?" he asks.
The too-large robes slip down his shoulder, exposing part of his chest. Lan Wangji’s eyes widen with a horrible realization. He grips Bichen until his knuckles turn white.
His desire to bite Wei Wuxian until he cries hasn’t disappeared with this transformation. It’s gotten worse.
For years, he’s hidden this awful secret, even from his brother: he wants to rape Wei Wuxian. He wants to push him down, and tear his robes off, and hurt him. He wants to see him sob and beg for mercy. He wants to tie him up and hide him away, keep him caged and tormented the same way his father tormented his mother.
Now, though, he knows he’s even worse than his father.
The rules are clear: Do not harm an innocent person. Especially do not harm a child.
What does it say about Lan Wangji, that he so desperately wants to cause pain to someone so vulnerable?
A-Ying starts to crawl out of his robes. More skin is exposed to Lan Wangji’s shocked gaze.
"Wei Ying!" he barks.
"What?" A-Ying asks, standing up. Lan Wangji snaps his eyes upward, but he’s not quick enough to avoid the sight of a little belly, a tiny cock, two chubby little legs.
He wants to drag his teeth across every inch of Wei Wuxian’s body. He wants to pin him down and watch him struggle, helpless to get away.
"They don’t fit anyway," A-Ying says. He puts his hands on his hips. "Why are you being silly?"
"We’ll go to town," Lan Wangji says, his voice clipped. "They’ll have robes for you."
"Okay, tomorrow," A-Ying agrees cheerily. "I don’t mind for tonight. It’s warm."
It is warm. There’s really no reason to insist on clothes.
Lan Wangji grips Bichen for strength.
He can do this. He can safely care for Wei Wuxian long enough to get him to Cloud Recesses. They’ll remove the curse, and then he’ll only have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s fully adult temptations. All he has to do is get through the next couple days.
"What do children eat?" he asks, resigned.
"I’m not a baby," A-Ying laughs.
Well, it’s going great so far.
~
"Gege," A-Ying sighs, nuzzling into Lan Wangji’s chest.
Lan Wangji lies completely flat on his back and does not move.
A-Ying had insisted on sleeping together. Sleeping outside is scary, he’d said! What if a monster gets him!
Lan Wangji had assured him that he would protect him. There was no reason to worry about monsters.
Still, A-Ying had said. What if he has a nightmare? What if he gets lonely without his gege to cuddle?
Lan Wangji had given in. Wei Wuxian should have everything he wants. But now he has a problem - A-Ying is still naked. And he keeps moving around.
Lan Wangji closes his eyes and circulates his spiritual energy to dissipate his unwanted arousal. I will not harm Wei Ying, he repeats to himself. I will not become a monster like my father. I will protect my beloved and keep him safe.
It’s a long time before he gets any sleep.
~
"Look!" A-Ying exclaims, pulling on Lan Wangji’s hand. Thankfully, now, he’s dressed in robes that fit him, purchased a little while earlier. "Tanghulu! Can we get some?"
"…"
Lan Wangji stands by the tanghulu stand and watches A-Ying devour the stick of candied fruit. His lips are pink, the way they would be if Lan Wangji kissed him. His mouth stretches around the fruit, and Lan Wangji wants to shove it down his throat, shove something else down his throat. His cheeks are sticky. They would be sweet if Lan Wangji bit them.
Lan Wangji rips his gaze away.
I will not harm Wei Ying.
~
They walk through the entrance to Cloud Recesses together. Suddenly, Lan Wangji is struck by fear. What if it’s obvious? What if people can tell how he feels about Wei Wuxian, even now while he’s a child?
What if his brother locks eyes with him and reads his thoughts from his face?
He tugs A-Ying in a different direction, heading toward the elders’ quarters.
"It’s so pretty here," A-Ying says loudly. "Pretty like gege. Look, everyone has those ribbons you won’t let me touch!"
"Quiet," Lan Wangji says sharply. I could gag him with my forehead ribbon. I could tie him to my bed.
A-Ying falls silent, and Lan Wangji feels awful. But Wei Wuxian will be an adult again soon enough. Soon, all of this will be over.
~
The curse is relatively easy to break. Wei Wuxian immediately teases him for not knowing how to take care of a child. Everything is back to normal.
Lan Wangji stares at Wei Wuxian’s back as he bothers the elders. As always, fantasies of ripping his clothes off, tying him up, and fucking him until he breaks run through his head. But now, they’re interspersed with images of him as a child, tiny and vulnerable and so much more breakable.
Lan Wangji grips Bichen, barely hearing when one of the elders addresses him. He responds automatically, and the conversation continues around him, Wei Wuxian’s bright happy voice mingling with the voices of his family.
He will take his secret to his grave.
~
"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian moans, squirming happily as Lan Wangji pins him down. "Won’t you take mercy on your poor vulnerable Wei Ying? I’m so small and helpless, you could do anything to me."
"Quiet," Lan Wangji tells him, a smile spreading across his face as he moves a hand down to Wei Wuxian’s hip. He braces to begin thrusting.
"Would you like it if I were even more small and helpless?" Wei Wuxian asks, batting his eyes. "Oh! Like when I got cursed, and I was a little kid for a few days?"
Lan Wangji’s eyes widen. His fingers tighten on Wei Wuxian’s hip.
They’ve been together for some time, now. Wei Wuxian is, somehow, happy that Lan Wangji wants to hurt him. He wants Lan Wangji to pin him down and fuck him until he cries. He loves to pretend that Lan Wangji is forcing him. He loves it when Lan Wangji ties him to their bed.
Lan Wangji couldn’t possibly have wished for anything better than this. His soulmate accepts him, fully and completely.
Except for this. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know that Lan Wangji fantasizes about raping him as a child. Lan Wangji is sure Wei Wuxian would hate him, if he knew. That’s too far. Only the worst kind of predators have thoughts like those.
"Ah!" Wei Wuxian exclaims, sounding delighted. "You moved, inside of me! You would like it if I were a little kid!"
"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji growls, gripping hard enough to bruise. There will be marks on Wei Wuxian’s wrists and hip tomorrow. Proof that the way Lan Wangji loves is violent.
"Let’s pretend that I am one," Wei Wuxian says, grinning. "Lan Zhan! I could make a talisman to replicate the effects of that curse! I would need to put that character there… and that character below it…"
"Don’t tease," Lan Wangji tells him. His head spins. Wei Wuxian knows. He knows. He hasn’t tried to run yet. Why hasn’t he tried to run?
"I’m not teasing," Wei Wuxian says, looking baffled. "Why, Lan Zhan, you don’t want to fuck little A-Ying?"
Lan Wangji wants to fuck little A-Ying so badly. That’s the problem.
"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian moans, rocking back and forth, doing his best to fuck himself on Lan Wangji’s cock. "Gege. Fuck your A-Ying?"
He means it, Lan Wangji realizes suddenly. Wei Wuxian truly doesn’t care that Lan Wangji’s mind is poisoned. He likes it. He likes that Lan Wangji wants to do awful things to him. The worst of his desires have been revealed, and Wei Wuxian is still smiling and aroused underneath him.
There’s nothing more to hide.
Lan Wangji slams forward, crushing their lips together. He fucks his husband roughly, pouring all of himself into his thrusts. His love, his violence, his perversion.
Wei Wuxian takes it all, and when Lan Wangji lets go of his wrists, all he does is tug one of Lan Wangji’s hands to his ponytail and the other to his neck. Fuck me, his movements say, break me, make me cry.
Lan Wangji is happy to give him what they both want.