Chapter Text
Y/n hugged her knees to her chest, her gaze focused on the wooden floor at her feet. She was a quiet spectator between a heated, semi-muffled dialogue between two voices. It had been going for hours, with neither side willing to give up on their stance.
Like a boat riding on the ocean current, the discussion shifted back and forth, up and down. Once one voice stopped, the other started. An immense pain stabbed at her heart as she collected bits of dialogue. The pieces of conversation made sense as she connected them like a puzzle, forming a clear image in her mind.
“She is a child, Masaru, thirteen years old!” Clear desperation coated the feminine voice. “She’s far too young to be married off.”
“Do you like food in your kitchen or warm clothes during the cold season? How about a roof to keep the rain off you? Do you want to continue living in debt?” Her father’s voice grew louder and more clear with each question. Frustration weighed heavily on him, contrasting the despair coming from her mother. A sudden vocal crack broke his harsh tone, showing a sliver of regret. “Aina, we have no other choice.”
Y/n buried her face in her knees, gritting down on her teeth, trying to fight back tears. An incredible sensation of despair and helplessness hung over her. It poured down sadness over her like rain.
A loud crash startled the young girl, and stillness followed close behind. Her heart thundered in her ears, breaking the hush. Y/n lifted her head enough to look over her knees.
Weak candlelight flickered on the other side of the shoji, and her parents’ dark silhouettes shone through the wispy paper like apparitions. The two shadows joined as one dark mass, and soft sobbing replaced the quiet.
Her father spoke gently for the first time since her parents’ disagreement began. “Aina, my love, this will be for the best, you’ll see. I understand it’s hard, but giving her to the village leader’s son will open many doors. Y/n will have a warm place to sleep, wealth, and an education. She will never have to go a night without food or worries.”
“Yes, you’re right,” she said.
Her mother’s acknowledgment stung. She had been so adamant about not marrying her off, but sudden promises of education made her change her mind. Y/n wondered what use did she have for school. If she was to wed the village leader’s son, her job from that point on was to create the one to be next in line.
Her father’s voice stole her attention. Y/n sat on her knees and inched closer to the paper wall separating her room from them. “They asked for her once she turned seventeen; we still have plenty of time with her.”
Y/n crawled on her hands and knees, returning to her futon. As she laid down, she tugged the blanket over her head, revealing her bare feet as the fabric pulled up. She tucked herself into a tight ball, covering herself up.
A single thought kept y/n awake. Four years. She couldn’t get those two words out of her mind.
The shifting colors of fall leaves made y/n think of the night before her parents accepted her arranged marriage. That morning, one year ago, the first leaves changed into an orange hue. She listened to the surrounding nature as the cart she rode traveled down the long, winding dirt path. The rhythmic clopping of horse hooves mixed with the chirping of songbirds and the gentle rustling of leaves. Her parents’ voices sullied the peaceful moment.
The two spoke praises of their village leader. After one of their regular short meetings with Y/n, he gifted them the horse that pulled their cart. She scrunched her nose and pressed her lips together, suppressing a frown upon hearing them mention him. Y/n could still feel his hand on her jaw as he moved her head around and his breath against her neck while he closely examined her face.
“Y/n, sweetheart, we’re almost there.” As soon as she heard her mother speak, she stood up. She spread her arms out for balance, feeling the wood tremble under her feet, and walked to the front of the cart.
Even at a distance, the village appeared tiny. The small houses fit snug at the foot of a mountainside. Thick trees decorated the mountain and around the buildings. The smell of burning wood accompanied the sight of smoke lifting from chimneys. Clamor from the locals grew louder as they approached.
The cart entered the village and stopped at its heart. Before she wandered off, her mother called her. With a warm smile, she placed a small drawstring bag in y/n’s hands, giving her a small shopping list. She placed a finger under her chin and delicately lifted her gaze. “Be good. Don’t cause anyone trouble.”
Y/n glanced at her father as she passed by him. Now on her own, she felt a sense of freedom. She went down the list her mother gave her.
She entered a small building. The smell of spices and herbs lingered heavy in the air. Cinnamon sticks made her feel warm inside. It was like holding a pleasant fire in her stomach.
Her mother asked for Shiso, Ginger, and Myoga. With only her sense of smell and experience with herbs and spices, she picked the ones she believed to be the best in the batch. After paying, she left the quaint shop.
The village was smaller than her own, and it offered her little to keep her entertained. She thought the mountain was pretty. It stood massive and majestic.
As she walked to approach the cliff, a splash of white in the foliage caught her eye. Upon closer inspection, she found mushrooms. Y/n trudged through a bush, twigs snagged on her clothes.
She hummed as she picked the mushrooms. Y/n collected seven in all. Before turning around, she wandered further into the forest in search of more.
She carried her seven mushrooms out of the forest. As soon as she rejoined society, a voice called out to her. Y/n turned to see an older man whittling under a tree. He kept his gaze lowered to his creation as he spoke. “Be careful going out there, girl, if you know what’s good for you. There are monsters in that forest.”
“Monsters?” She raised a brow. Y/n saw some ravens and squirrels, but there was nothing that even remotely resembled a monster. She supposed in the wrong lighting, even a fox could be mistaken as a grotesque creature in a moment of terror.
He confidently claimed the forest was infested with half human, half creature hybrids that attack stray animals and humans at night. Regardless of the matter-of-fact tone in his voice, she doubted every word. Y/n believed it was just a made-up story to frighten visitors.
Y/n thanked the man for his warning and told him she will try to keep it in mind. As she walked away from him, her gaze lifted to the cloudless blue sky above. Too bad for the monsters, it’s daytime.
Y/n completed the last of her shopping list without the locals talking to her. The supplies she gathered weighed heavy in her arms. She returned to her parents to discover that they had already set up the stall for the evening.
Protecting their wares from the sun, her parents covered the horse-drawn cart with a cloth. Dried fish laid in an organized pile next to jars filled with a variety of pickled vegetables. Several tiny vials of salt sat at the front.
As she approached the stall, her eyes fixed on the dried fish and tiny vials. Y/n had spent days preserving her father’s catch and looming over a campfire, boiling down the ocean water until it was nothing but salt. Her mother’s colorful display of pickled vegetables looked delicious. She hoped one jar will remain unsold, so she had something to snack on during the ride home.
Her arms felt limp as her parents took the groceries from her before returning to work. Y/n stood motionless, unsure of what to do now. They didn’t place her in front of the stall to speak with customers as she had done years before. It wasn’t a job she liked at first. However, at one time, they had told her interacting with customers was necessary if she wanted to help run the shop. They no longer asked for such duties from her.
She knew it was because of the arranged marriage. It seemed it affected every major change in her life. Why would she hone her skills selling fish? She was going to have a massive estate in three years. The thought frustrated her. Now that they had stripped away her responsibilities, she longed for them.
Y/n sat on the ground beside the cart. Her body slumped forward, and she held her head in her hands as she watched her parents speak with the locals. They swapped pleasantries and compliments. Many praised how disciplined and docile y/n was. They were wrong. Being well-mannered was the least of her concerns. She was simply bored. With pleasant smiles, they exchanged fish and jars for coins.
As the day drew to a close, the blue sky gave way to a striking orange hue that painted the horizon. Y/n had been curled forward, resting her forehead on her knees with her eyes closed. In the background, she heard her parents taking stock of their unsold wares. A hand pressed against the top of her head, stealing her attention. Lifting her gaze, she saw her father kneeling before her. “It’s time to go.”
Her parents sat at the front of the cart with her father reigning the horse. Y/n took her spot in the back, riding with everything that had gone unsold. Their wares sat bundled in the blanket to prevent it from rolling out of the cart.
The wooden cart rumbled down the dirt path. She felt every bump and rock that the wheel rolled over. Her head perked up upon hearing glass jars clinking together. “Momma, may I have one of those jars?”
“Hm? Of course, sweetheart.” Y/n felt elated. With a cautious touch, she untied the knot that kept the blanket tied together and placed a jar on her lap before securing it again.
Y/n froze as she heard her father whisper to her mother. It was faint, but she caught it as she turned to sit back down. “An entire jar, Aina? She needs to pass her examinations.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. Two years ago, he would let her have as many pickled vegetables as she wanted. Y/n huddled in the cart’s corner, looking down at the jar with a dull expression.
“Y/n.” In the glass’ reflection, she saw her mother looking over her shoulder with a warm smile. “I think the radishes came out especially good.”
Y/n held the jar with both her hands, rotating it around as she tried to decide what she wanted to eat first. Bright orange chunks of carrot caught her eye.
The carrots tasted as delicious as they looked. They were both sweet and sour, with a slight hint of salt. Y/n pressed her back against the cart as she ate. Above, the sky darkened and the first signs of stars shined. The moon’s light barely lit the dirt road.
She closed the jar and placed it off to the side. Laying down with her arms behind her head, she looked at the stars above. A gentle breeze drifted by. The cart’s low rumble lulled her to sleep.
In her sleep, she felt weightless. It was a strange, yet realistic, feeling for a dream.
She woke up to a sharp pain running up her arm and through her body. Y/n opened her eyes, seeing the cart tipped over and hearing the horse’s cry. It felt as if an invisible force had emptied her lungs of air. She wondered if a large ditch toppled over the cart.
“Papa?” Y/n pushed her hand into the ground to get up. Another sharp pain ran through her nerves. Y/n looked down and saw broken glass scattered along the dirt. Her palms felt on fire.
Dirt and glass shards dug into her hands. Traces of blood peeked out. Y/n looked at the cart. “Momma?”
A shrill screech filled the air. The hair on the back of y/n’s neck rose. The cart shook as a dark figure stood up. A heavy scent of iron filled the air. She heard her mother’s voice. It sounded pained and forced. “Y/n! Run!”
Y/n jumped to her feet and ran. Her father’s voice grew more distant as she tried to escape. He bellowed out, calling the monster. Soon, his yelling stopped, replaced by a bloodcurdling scream of horror.
Even without looking, she knew the creature behind her made chase. Her heart pounded, and she gasped struggling to breathe. The sound of branches snapping grew louder by the second.
A force pulled her back. It had taken hold of the bottom of her clothes. Sharp twigs dug into her face and arms as she fell forward. Mustering all the strength she could, she forced herself up. She heard the fabric rip. Y/n toppled onto her hands and knees as the fabric gave in and torn. Adrenaline running through her veins, she lunged forward and continued running.
She couldn’t look over her shoulder, fearing she’d slow down too much or trip over something. Y/n kept her eyes forward. Focused on weaving through the trees and evading the monster.
Ahead of her, she saw a massive lake. She didn’t hesitate. Y/n took in as much air as her lungs could carry and launched herself into the water.
Y/n swam as fast as she could. Her body felt numb from the cold water. Even after her lungs burned, practically begging for air, she kept swimming. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She felt like she was drowning. Y/n poked her head above the surface, coughing and taking shallow breaths.
For the first time since she heard her mother’s cries to run, y/n turned around. She frantically looked all around. Y/n saw no signs of a monster nearby. Trying to hold her breath hurt. She forced herself through the pain and dipped back under the water. Nothing. It seemed like there were no other living creatures in the lake.
Her muscles ached as she reached the other end of the lake. Y/n rolled onto her back. Rocks poked against her back. Breathing in hurt, but not having air in her lungs hurt just as much.
Y/n’s face heated. Tears streamed down her face as she choked back a loud sob until she hiccupped. With a hoarse voice, she cried out for her parents. No reply.
She couldn’t move. It felt as if chains bound her to the ground. Pain ran through every inch of her body. In an almost mute voice, she called out for her parents as loud as she could. “Momma… papa…”
Y/n was exhausted. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she struggled to open them with each blink. Finally, darkness took over.
Sunlight warmed her face. She squinted her eyes as she woke up. Her entire body ached, and y/n struggled to sit up. Appearing like flashes of memories, bits and pieces of last night emerged.
She could feel the pain of glass digging into her palms. The bone chilling screaming of her parents. The sickly smell of blood in the air.
Her breathing grew shallow. This time, however, she couldn’t choke back her sobbing. Y/n sat at the lakeside, crying out for her parents.
Eventually, she cried out, but no more tears could stream down her face. Y/n forced herself to her feet. She took unstable steps away from the lake and towards the direction the cart was headed.
The closer she got to her home village, the less she saw sunlight, although the sun hung high in the sky. A thick blanket of fog shrouded her village so thick she couldn’t see more than a few steps in front of her. Her, as well as everyone else who lived here, had the area memorized. Practically every tree, rock, and building was engraved into everyone’s minds.
Y/n stopped in front of her house. She was cold and exhausted—physically and mentally. Sadness stabbed at her heart as she saw the lifeless building. This was once her home. Without her parents, it no longer felt the same.
Y/n returned to her room. She stripped off her clothes and put on something dry before collapsing onto her bed.
She couldn’t sleep. Y/n laid face down, hugging onto her pillow. Her eyes focused on the wall across from her. The heavy fog didn’t give her a view outside the window. She could hear dry tree leaves rustling and the occasional voice from someone walking by.
After what felt like hours, she forced herself up. The floorboards moaned under each step. An unsettling emptiness filled her home. She stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a half loaf of stale bread. Y/n ripped the bread into small chunks, unable to force herself to eat.
A shiny piece of metal caught her eye. Sitting on the table, she saw a small knife. Y/n was well familiar with it. Her father often took her fishing with him. He always carried that knife with him. She could almost hear his voice, explaining that it was his lucky charm.
She picked up the knife and felt the weight in her hands. Y/n hugged it close to her chest as she walked out of the house.
“You look terribly disheveled, Miss y/n. That is unlike you.” Y/n immediately recognized the voice by her side—the village leader. She guessed he was most likely here for one of his regular examines to make sure she was suitable to marry his son.
With no one to talk to, y/n broke down and told him what had happened. He stood quiet. Before she fully finished her story, he cut her off. “Your parents are dead?”
His question hurt her more than he could ever imagine. She wrapped her arms around herself in a self-soothing hug. “I don’t know. Maybe…”
A firm grip tight enough to leave a bruise wrapped around her wrist. She looked up to see the village leader’s dark eyes on her. “Our arrangement says we will accept you into our family when you turn seventeen. However, it may be three years too early, but if you have no family, then we can accept you now.”
A sickening feeling sank in. She didn’t want to join their family, and she didn’t want to marry his son. Y/n tried to pull her arm from his hold, stammering as she spoke. “No-no thank you.”
“No?” he repeated. His hold tightened and gave her a firm tug. “Come now. You can’t live on your own.”
Panic settled in. She felt desperate as she failed to pull away from his grasp. Not knowing what else to do, y/n held her breath and lunged the knife into his arm. As soon as it pierced his skin, he recoiled and yelled out in pain. With her hand still tightly gripped onto the handle, she pulled it out.
Her cheek met with the back of his hand. Y/n stepped back from him. Her fingertips grazed where he had made contact with her. It stung.
Giving neither of them time to think, she turned around and left. Y/n ran into the woods with nothing but the clothes on her body and her father’s lucky knife. She didn’t turn around until the fog lifted, a sign that she was out of her village.
Y/n hugged herself and wondered what to do now. She didn’t have a goal in mind, she simply wanted to get far away from her tiny village. To start a new life where she wasn’t doomed to get married to a complete stranger in three years.
This new sense of freedom was a bittersweet feeling. She had to lose so much to earn this. It might not be the path her parents wanted, but she would try to live a life that would make them proud.
Back was the only direction she couldn’t go. Knowing that, y/n began walking forward.