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Most humans, the ones capable of being an angelic vessel, feel very few physical side effects of this process. Mostly headaches and nausea – it’s similar enough to a cold or flu to pass for normal human illness. However, the mental aspect of this is another story. Angels have the ability to cut off the vessel’s consciousness from the reality of what is happening while another being takes the driver’s seat, true; but in order to achieve this, that consciousness needs to be thoroughly distracted. Most choose some form of euphoric pleasure, as humans are especially susceptible to this type of distraction. And it helps that once inside a vessel, full access to memories, preferences, and fantasies are granted without interference. The problems arise once an angel leaves its vessel, after their business is done. Typically the vessel will continue to chase that feeling; depression is common, although worse mental states have been known to ensue the longer the human acted as a vessel.
They had only discussed his possession by Lucifer once. Castiel remembers it well. “… when I was with them, in the Cage, it was horrible. Michael would tear me apart, and Lucifer would be beside himself. Like hurting me somehow hurt him.” Castiel nodded, he knew for a fact that being with a ‘perfect vessel’ makes one more profoundly feel everything that human feels, physically and mentally. It’s a unique bond and he did not need to describe to Sam.
That was Castiel’s primary worry when this process began. Although Gadreel had mostly kept to his word (to heal Sam Winchester if he dubiously agreed to be a vessel), the small detail of damage from expelling an angel from its vessel lingered. Sam seemed to have exaggerated physical symptoms, the expulsion of an angel from his physical being obviously ripped open the fresh wounds the Trials had caused. But Castiel was increasingly convinced that the mental aspect was actually impacting Sam’s physical health more. In order to both help his friend and comfort Dean, Castiel was staying in the bunker to use his ill-obtained Grace to heal Sam.
As Castiel touched him, he could feel the tingling pins and needles coursing through his limbs. When the sensation hit his torso he could feel it expanding in his chest and coursing through his veins and lungs. It almost felt like taking a long, slow drag from a menthol cigarette, something he hadn’t done since he left Stanford to go hunt monsters again. Similar to the salve that could clear his lungs, or the really good, but hard to find, cough drops that would burn in the best way.
Being conscious of having a full dose of Grace course through him twice before, first with Lucifer then with Gadreel, his mental distress started to subside as he helplessly chased that familiar sensation. He should have known what would happen next. The numbness spread and began tingling; as it began, his cock was stirring in the tight confines of his jeans. He couldn’t help it. The feeling brought back the rush of what it was like to be possessed and all the feelings that kept him at bay in his own body. A head rush began to take him, as he let out a helpless breathy moan… And just like that the feeling was gone. He felt empty again. Castiel had pulled back.
“I’m sorry, Sam.”
Sam let out an anguished moan and instinctually shot an arm out to grab Castiel before he could disappear from his side. Castiel shuddered at the crippling need he could feel throughout Sam. “Please, Cas...” He wouldn’t be able to finish that sentence, he couldn’t. His body just drove him to crave that feeling again. This was worse than demon blood. This was worse than anything he’d ever experience.
Castiel pulled away and took a step back defensively, “I’m sorry, Sam. This was a bad idea.” He softened his tone seeing how on edge Sam was, “I know you are still healing from the Trials, and I have to believe you will recover from that. I just want to help, but I’ve clearly inflamed something that your previous… possession… has instilled in you. I don’t wish for you to fall because of me.”
“… Fall? What are you talking about?” Sam’s burning need cleared the path for genuine confusion.
“Nevermind, Sam. I will be back later to continue,” before he had the chance to zap away Sam shot up from his chair and grabbed Castiel by the arm again.
“Humans don’t fall, Cas. And you didn’t fall; you were tricked and used by a… by a fucking douchebag!”
Castiel wouldn’t look Sam in the eye, his words were barely a whisper when he spoke, “But I would have fallen anyway.”
Sam let this process. Or at least attempted to let this process. His brain understood the words, that Castiel thought he would have lost his Grace regardless, but he couldn’t follow the logic. He still had a hand on Castiel’s arm. He gripped it a little tighter to restrain himself from hugging the angel, “Why would you possibly think that?”
Castiel kept his gaze on the floor, “Please… forget I said anything…”
“Come on, Cas, talk to me. Please! Don’t shut down on me,” Sam was suddenly becoming frantic, another side effect of this healing was that his emotions were raw during the process. “Please, after all this shit! I can’t talk to Dean. I can’t trust him right now. I need you! I need you to be honest with me,” Sam was on the verge of tears, now he was looking down at the floor, “… please.” The last word was barely a whisper as tears began to fall. He couldn’t even hate himself for it like he normally would for crying. Castiel understood his raw state from all of this.
Castiel could try to convince himself that this was the leftover emotional damage of being an angel’s vessel. That Sam was just not emotionally equipped for anything complicated and the slightest upset would set him off like this. In the absence of a euphoric shutdown, all the other feelings, the ones that were repressed during his time as a vessel, were pushing harder to come to the front.
But when he looked up at Sam so hurt and betrayed; his heart broke. This was exactly what he meant when he carelessly spoke in front of Sam before. Reaching a hand out to Sam’s shoulder, Castiel merely meant to comfort the man who was teetering on the edge. At the physical contact, Sam tensed but quickly reacted, pulling Castiel into a crushing embrace as he sobbed on his shoulder. Castiel was not sure what to do, but knew it was customary to put his arms around Sam in a reciprocal fashion. As Sam heaved, letting out wracking sobs, Castiel’s disposition changed. He couldn’t let Sam think this was an unrequited feeling, even if Sam was only drawn to the feeling his Grace gave when this moment started. Castiel began with instinct, idly rubbing small circles between Sam’s shoulders.
The taller man crumbled at this, seemingly sobbing harder, but there was a subtle change in his disposition, like this had opened a floodgate in years of need. He needed to let these feelings out, even if a stream of tears was the only outlet possible. Sam crushed Castiel impossibly tighter to him and tried to hide in the crook of Castiel’s neck as if he could compact himself smaller to fit. They stayed like this for a long time, Sam letting out all the emotional drain he didn’t realize he had been bottling up all those years. It was horrible and comforting all at once. Castiel knew this was for the better; it was part of Sam’s healing.
When the worst of his body wracking sobs stopped, Castiel moved his hand from Sam’s back to the back of his skull. Threading through his hair and slowly, casually massaging Sam’s scalp, Castiel let his own head rest against Sam’s. Sam was still jammed between his neck and shoulder, his dress shirt wet with tears.
Sam gasped when Castiel moved into his hair. He allowed himself to relax into his friend’s comforting ministrations before speaking, barely a whisper, “What did you mean, Cas, about falling?”
Castiel tensed but did not pull away this time. They leaned against each other in silence for several breaths before Castiel finally broke the stalemate. “Before Metatron stole my Grace, before he used it to make Heaven fall…” he pulled back to look Sam in the eye, “I had my own Grace, but I could feel it leaving me. Like water rushing through a sieve. I would not have been an angel much longer, even if Metatron did not do what he did…”
“But, how?” Sam responded, “You always do the right thing! How could you be… you know, losing your wings?”
“A fallen angel does not lose their wings, Sam. They carry that weight as a burden, a reminder of what was scarified for selfishness,” the bitterness was quite clear in Castiel’s voice.
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’ve always served Heaven, pretty loyally, as far as I can tell. I don’t understand how you could lose your Grace. I mean, we met Anna, but she willfully ripped her Grace out!” Castiel was staring at the floor again as Sam spoke, “I want to understand. How you think yours was leaking out of you…”
“You,” Castiel replied, “You and Dean. It started as Dean being my charge. My Heavenly duty: to save him, guard him, and watch over him. You were not a part of the equation.” Sam tensed at the memory of that. “Then the seals, the countless prayers, and the… friendship,” he smiled warmly, “I began to feel more than obligation for you both.” Sam couldn’t help the shy, self-conscious smile at that. “When I allowed myself the opportunity I was drawn to you.”
“We were always grateful for your help, Cas…”
“No, Sam. You don’t understand.” Castiel took a step back again to be able to look at Sam properly, “I was drawn to you. You were an archangel’s perfect vessel, you were my charge’s brother, but you were also kind, warm, and always trying to be good despite all the odds against you…” Sam positively gaped. Castiel couldn’t possibly mean what Sam thought he meant. Castiel never did have the best grasp on the charged nature of certain words and the weight they carry. Castiel continue, “… and your prayers did not help matters.”
Sam was puzzled again, “Asking for help on hunts made you think I was kind?”
“Not those prayers, although I heard those. The other prayers,” Sam was giving Castiel the confused puppy look. Castiel decided to take a page from Dean Winchester’s book and go with the direct route, “… the ones you would have at night sometime. Or in the shower. Or in the motel room when Dean was out,” Sam was tense. He was beginning to have the realization of what Castiel meant.
Holy fucking shit. How the fuck was Sam supposed to know that fantasizing about a person that happens to be an Angel of the Lord would result in Castiel getting free Pay-Per-View porno prayers. Suddenly it was Sam who backed off. “Look, I’m so so so sorry about that,” he started, “I just… I don’t know, I mean I always wanted to believe and then I met you and angels were real! And even though you hated me I still admired you so much. And then you were hanging around more and I got to know you and I started to think…” he was almost hyperventilating.
Castiel grabbed his arm, “It’s ok Sam.” He tried to soften his expression, he really did, and “I quite enjoyed those particular… prayers to me.” And that couldn’t possibly be a smolder in Castiel’s eyes, being amenable to Sam’s most deprived fantasies… Sam was at a loss. Completely out of his depth. He wasn’t used to feeling longing and getting relief. “You know, there were times when I had important matters to deal with. Deals, battles, recognizance. And I would be overtaken by your… imagination. “ Now Sam was beyond embarrassed. He knew what fantasies he had. He didn’t know how thinking about the man, the angel, that starred in them made it to the source. He hadn’t been consciously praying, but he was mortified. He also knew that he wanted to feel the real thing so much it made his skin burn with anticipation. This wasn't a need driven by seeking the touch of Grace, both knew that Sam had felt this way long before Lucifer's possession.
Knowing someone had to break the tension in this standoff, Castiel gambled on a bold move. He grabbed Sam, spinning him around and slamming him against the wall in a crushing, needy, overpowering kiss. Just like he’d done to Meg all those years ago. Just like Sam wished it were him instead, as he replayed the sudden sexual boldness in the angel in his fantasies.
Castiel was no longer a novice in this, not that he ever actually was – millennia of observing humanity had given him insight into these acts that humans often lost themselves in – but now he had actual experience to back up the sensations that were invading him. It was what he was worried about before he fell, and he didn’t even care, because the fire he felt to his core was so much more comforting than anything stolen Grace could give him.
He put his hands on either side of Sam’s face, just letting them rest on the drying trails his tears had created, idly stroking his thumbs on the other man’s cheekbones. Sam let out a satisfied moan when Castiel seemed to start softening but not pulling away, Castiel wasn’t exactly graceful when he tried to incorporate tongue into the kiss, but Sam used his experience to guide the movement without taking over the power position. He liked this feeling with Castiel, knowing he could let go, let someone else have control, and Castiel wouldn’t die or get hurt or…
Sam consciously became aware of the desperate needy noises in the air, and felt the burning of embarrassment when he realized the noises were coming from him. When Castiel finally broke the kiss, Sam kept his hand behind Castiel's head to keep him from going too far. They stood against the wall, foreheads together, panting into each other’s air.
“I get it,” Sam started even though he was short of breathe, “At least, I think I get it now…”
Castiel had taken to rubbing his hands up and down Sam’s upper arms as Sam spoke. The were not as muscular as they used to be, the Trails taking a heavy physical toll on Sam throughout the process, but Castiel wanted to feel more. He wanted to rip Sam’s clothes off and replay every single fantasy Sam had.
“Yes,” Sam said, startled. Oh God, had he said all that out loud?
It was Sam who took the lead this time, tenderly bringing their lips together. Even when he deepened the kiss, it remained soft and pleasant, as if Sam could pour years of desire and admiration into it. Most of the salacious thoughts Castiel had received from Sam were rough, fast, and ruthless – this had no point for comparison. He was powerless to do anything but succumb to what was happening in the moment.
As if Sam could feel Castiel’s thoughts, without breaking the kiss, he began unbuttoning Castiel’s shirt. Sam had always imagined he would wear an undershirt, probably because he wore so many layers himself, but he was wrong. Castiel’s bare chest was underneath when he slid a hand underneath the newly opened fabric. Castiel let out a gasp at the pleasant, but unexpected contact. Sam broke away long enough to shed his flannel shirt and the tee underneath. Castiel gasped again when he felt the hot skin-on-skin contact for the first time with Sam. Sam plastered himself to Castiel and made an unhurried move from his mouth to his jaw, then his neck. The noises Castiel was making only spurred him on. Castiel didn’t have any restraint or self-consciousness that would normally cause a person to hold back such sounds. Sam’s intentions went from desperate need to seize the moment before it passed to prideful desire to take Castiel apart until he was a wanton mess of raw nerve endings begging for release.
Sam pulled Castiel towards the chair and table he had started on and gentle pushed him back onto the chair, Castiel whimpered at the temporary loss of contact. Sam made up for it. He straddled over Castiel and dipped his head to Castiel’s chest, kissing, licking and lightly nipping a trail, as one hand ghosted down his body to the inner side of his knee. He rubbed behind the knee as he dragged his hand up the inner thigh painfully slow, all while working his way over to a nipple to pull back, ever so slightly, and breathe heavily over it. Castiel was physically shuddering over this treatment.
“Please…”
While it was exactly what he wanted, Sam couldn’t restrain himself from reacting to Castiel’s plea. He roughly palmed Castiel’s extremely apparent erection through his pants while going back to the area where Castiel’s neck met his shoulders to suck bruises into his skin. Sam wanted to mark the man, have a reminder of what was happening left behind. The neediness in the groan Castiel let out was almost criminal. Sam had to remind himself that Castiel was fairly inexperienced, and that teasing to the point of torture could backfire horribly. The last thing Sam needed was for Castiel to nut off during an intense groping session, prior to anything Sam really wanted to do to him.
Sam pulled back to look Castiel in the eye. The sight was decadent: hair disheveled, lips swollen, eyes blown with lust, and breath coming in short pants. He burned this image into his memory. Sam knew he had to get some direction from Castiel before continuing, “Look, Cas, I really want you – like a lot –“ running a hand down his flanks as he spoke, “but I know you’ve only been with one other person. I need to know what you want. How you want this to go.” He could practically see the cogs slowly turning in Castiel’s brain as he processed what Sam was saying. Cutting an ‘I don’t understand’ off before it could be said, Sam clarified, “When you were with April, was is rough or gentle? That makes a big difference in how the rest of this goes…” his voice was dripping with desire as he spoke. Castiel was hanging on every word.
“I’m not sure what you mean by rough or gentle…” Damn it, Castiel was inexperienced, Sam should have just taken the lead but he already started down this path. He’d had so many choices taken away from him in his life; he couldn’t do the same to Cas. Not with this. He was a little shocked when Castiel continued, “Perhaps you could show me the difference.”
Sam studied Castiel’s face for a second, he had a good poker face but Sam was better, he could see that Castiel was baiting him. Fucking tease! The grin that Sam gave in response was outright predatory. Sam cupped the back of Castiel’s head and moved his mouth to the angel’s lips. He slowly licked across the seam of Castiel’s lips slowly and was easily granted access. He was leisurely in deepening the kiss, rolling their tongues together and expertly caressing his hands along the back of Castiel’s neck and bicep. He pulled back after several moments, taking a deep breath but not quite moving away from Castiel’s mouth before he spoke, pressing their foreheads together, “That was gentle.”
“… And what is rough like?”
Sam couldn’t help the loud groan that escaped him as he closed his eyes, “You’re killing me, Cas…” He didn’t realize how a question like that would go straight to Sam’s dick. While Sam was contemplating his legitimate response to the question, Castiel began nipping close to Sam’s ear, really not helping. Okay, so maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
“On the contrary, I am healing you,” he huffed out between quick nips and pecks. “That’s what we were doing when this all started.” Sam could swear Castiel was purring the words. Thanks to all the time Castiel spent in his head healing and rebuilding mental walls, he could easily get Sam worked up and sexually charged. At this point Castiel was only wondering why they hadn’t done this sooner.
Sam carded his fingers through Castiel’s hair, earning a low moan as he continued his path across Sam’s jawline. Without pretense or warning, Sam gripped Castiel’s hair and jerked his head back, descending on his mouth with a possessive and dominant goal, much more teeth and tongue than his previous kiss. Just before pulling back, Sam caught Castiel’s lower lip and bit, not hard enough to break the skin, but certainly not gentle. Sam ghosted over Castiel’s face to his ear and whispered, “That is what rough is like.” Castiel shuddered at the words and their hidden promise. He knew Sam preferred rough, at least when he was fantasizing.
Castiel was losing his patience with the slow teasing. He decided to take control of the situation. He made several moves at once: he grabbed the back of Sam’s neck with one hand while the other made its way to Sam’s hip, both forcing Sam down, as he planted his feet and arched up. Sam’s hands scrambled for purchase after the sudden move, landing on Castiel’s shoulders, as Castiel placed a firm bite into the meaty part above Sam’s collarbone before sucking at it hard. At the same time, he was grinding Sam down into his own lap. Their pant-clad erections dragged together as Castiel controlled Sam’s hips and his own. Sam let out a shocked gasp that broke off into a moan. Castiel moved his hand from Sam’s neck to his hair, tugging firmly but not hard, and pulling Sam’s head to extend his neck longer as Castiel licked a long, slow stripe from his shoulder to just below his ear. Sam’s brain was officially off the rails from this. Castiel brought his mouth to Sam’s ear, “I think we both prefer rough.” Sam moaned again as Castiel punctuated the point by thrusting harder against Sam. “The question you should be asking is whether I would prefer to penetrate you or the other way around.” Sam positively keened; Castiel’s clinical description was unlocking kinks that he didn’t even know about until it was said out loud. Castiel chuckled darkly, “Now that’s not an answer, Sam.” Castiel had certainly turned the tables. Sam was so worried about making it about experience that he forgot the angel could easily take control of the situation, lack of experience being a nonissue.
“Please, Cas,” Sam panted out. This escalated quickly and his thoughts were all over the place. One thing he knew for sure though, “My room. Want to move to my room.” If this was a one-time thing, it was not going to be awkwardly balancing on a chair in a procedure room. Even if it wasn't one-time, Sam wanted the first time to be different than hurried chair sex. Castiel seemed to be on the same page, he let go of his iron grip on Sam so he could pull back.
“Lead the way,” Castiel was more than happy to oblige.
Sam reluctantly climbed off Castiel and grabbed their discarded shirts from the floor. As he went to stand Castiel wrapped his arms around his waist pressing his chest to Sam’s back, he kissed a sloppy line along Sam’s neck. He agreed to move, he didn’t agree to stop their activities in order to get there. Sam turned in Castiel’s loose grip to kiss Castiel briefly on the lips before taking Castiel’s hands from his hips where they had taken to resting. Without thinking, Sam brought both of Castiel’s hands to his own face. He placed a small chaste kiss on his left palm, then the same on his right. It was a surprisingly sweet gesture in an otherwise carnal moment. Sam kept his grip on the left hand as he picked up their shirts again and pulled Castiel from the room.
The pair made it all of seven steps outside the room before Castiel was pushing Sam against the wall again in a filthy kiss. Sam had to keep reminding himself that he wanted to have Castiel sprawled out on sheets, where he had more room to move and much more experience to draw from. It took a lot of will to duck out of the kiss and continue the trek to his room. He never cursed the sheer size of the bunker more than he did now. Once they made it to the door of Sam’s room, Sam took control this time. He pulled Castiel by the belt, and shoved him into the room. Sam slammed the door behind him, knowing full well there was a realistic possibility of Dean coming home at some point and not wanting or needing the interruption. He tossed the shirts on the floor before moving to Castiel. Their mouths crashed together in a heated kiss as Sam walked Castiel backwards towards his bed. When the backs of Castiel’s knees hit the edge of the bed, Sam unceremoniously shoved him in the chest to sprawl out across the comforter. Castiel would be surprised if he hadn’t seen this exact scenario in dozens of Sam’s visions of how this would unravel. Sam was on him immediately, getting Castiel’s belt unbuckled in record time and whipping the button and zipper of his pants open. All the teasing and build up was worth it because Sam was almost rabid in his desire to get Castiel undressed. He hooked his thumbs into the elastic of Castiel’s boxers and ripping them down to his knees. He pulled back and yanked Castiel’s always-practical shoes off before pulling the garments the rest of the way off. He left the socks for the time being because Castiel was already sitting up and pulling Sam back to him. Sam resisted the attempt to get him on the bed, he had a game plan now and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to see it through. He reached down, grabbed Castiel by the hips and dragged him to the edge of the bed as he dropped to his knees. Without moving his hands from Castiel’s hips, he licked a quick, broad stripe from on the underside of Castiel’s cock from base to tip before sucking the head into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the head. Castiel did not disappoint his expectations as he threw his head back and let another one of those unabashed moans out. Sam attempted to multitask by taking one hand and rooting under the bed for a box he knew was there. He moved his other hand to the base of Castiel’s cock as he expertly worked the tip of Castiel’s cock with his tongue. He knew exactly what to do to get Castiel riled up and crazy with need. Castiel already had a hand weaved into Sam’s hair and another holding onto the comforter below him for dear life. If Castiel were truly an inexperienced human, it would not go far beyond this. Castiel was an angel though, and he had more than enough control over the reactions of his body to resist the tempting urge to come now. He knew that there was so much more in store for him.
Sam’s exploring hand finally found what it was seeking and he pulled the box out from under the bed for better access. Among the contents in this box, there was a half full tube of lubricant. Sam knew the current events wouldn’t proceed much further without it. Once he successfully located removed it from the box and pushed the rest back under the bed, still keeping pace with the blowjob he was giving. He kept his grip on the tube as he hooked his arms under Castiel’s knees. He pulled off of Castiel’s cock and rolled forward, forcing Castiel to fold on himself with his knees close to his chest. Sam looked down at Castiel and made eye contact, “Do you trust me, Cas?”
There was a flare of lust in those eyes before he answered, “Of course.” Sam smiled and went to move when he spoke again, “But Sam. You’re overdressed.” The naughty grin that followed was all Sam needed to stand up and start toying with his belt buckle, unable to resist the urge to tease a little. He made sure he had Castiel’s undivided attention as he unbuckled and popped the button on his jeans, all agonizingly slow. He toed off his shoes and paused to yank off his socks before returning to his fly, raising an eyebrow at Castiel as he dragged the zipper down. Once he reached the bottom he just let his jeans drop to the floor and stepped out of them, still clad in his boxer briefs. Castiel piped up from the bed, “Tease.”
Sam laughed, “You’ve got some nerve accusing me.”
Castiel gave a genuine smile, something that warmed Sam’s heart when he saw it. “I’m not accusing. I’m simply stating a fact. You are teasing and you know it.”
Sam smirked and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his own boxers, “I know.” He ended the interaction swiftly by dropping his boxers to the floor. His cock slapping against his stomach once it escaped its confines. Castiel’s expression changed again to something that resembled predatory, but Sam wasn’t about to give him an opportunity. He rolled Castiel back up to their previous position with Castiel’s knees to his chest and moved his hands to pull his cheeks further apart. If Castiel were inclined to be self-conscious about how exposed he was, the opportunity was lost because Sam immediately licked over his exposed hole. Sam knew what he was doing in this regard, he was going to lick Castiel open before using his fingers, and he’d see this Angel of the Lord reduced to a begging mess before the evening was through.
He circled the tight ring on muscle several times before tentatively pressing the tip of his tongue to the rim. He must have been doing something right. Castiel now had both hands in Sam’s hair, desperately trying to push Sam closer to his hole. Castiel may have been privy to the details of these human activities, but he certainly didn’t have a point of reference for how this felt. He was panting Sam’s name in no time. Once Sam started hearing his name coming from Castiel like a prayer, he finally gave in and pressed his tongue inside. He was not disappointed as Castiel yanked on his hair and gave a loud, strangled moan. He took it as an invitation to keep going as he wiggled his tongue. He let go with both hands to reach for the lube on the bed. Once he found it he took off the cap and squeezed out a generous amount on two fingers. He moved his thumb over the other two fingers and rubbed to warm the lube on them. Although he was enjoying the reaction he was getting, he pulled his mouth away to swipe his thumb over Castiel’s spit-slick hole. Then he pressed his two lubed fingers to Castiel’s entrance. They slipped in with very little pressure, Sam couldn’t help the moan he let out watching them sink into Castiel. Castiel, for his part, had a look of intellectual curiosity on his face. He assumed this would feel good, he had observed humans fornicating for several millennia and knew that they found this pleasurable, but for now it just felt like an odd, but not unpleasant, stretch. Sam moved his fingers in and almost out a few times to spread the lube before crooking his fingers. He knew what he was doing from doing it to himself quite a few times, once he found the spot he’d been seeking Castiel’s eyes rolled back and all sound he’d been making stopped as he forgot how to breathe. Sam was glad he decided to lean back at this moment, that look was so gorgeous and wonderful that he would give anything to see it again. And with that thought, he pushed against that spot again. Castiel’s cock noticeably twitched and he did make a sound this time, in the form of a high pitched keen. Sam withdrew his fingers and applied more lube to them and shoved them back in, not caring if it was cold this time. This time Sam scissored his fingers a few times before adding lube to a third finger and adding it inside Castiel. Sam was carefully moving them inside Castiel to get him ready, though admittedly Sam could watch his own fingers go into Castiel all day long and be satisfied.
“Sam! Please Sam!” Castiel’s cried broke Sam’s concentration, “Please. Just…” A long groan cut off that sentence. Sam couldn’t wait anymore. He pulled back and squirt more lube into his palm and coated his own aching erection. He had a hand at the base and another holding Castiel steady when Castiel spoke up. “Wait.” Sam had a moment of panic wash over him before Castiel panted out the rest of his thought, “I want to be on top of you.”
Well, who was Sam to deny a request like that? He gave another wicked grin to Castiel and pulled back. “Do you want me against the headboard or fully on the bed?”
“On the bed, get comfortable,” Castiel probably had some idea of how hot that sounded coming from him at this moment. He had pulled up and was now sitting on his knees waiting for Sam to move.
Sam moved a few of the pillows on the bed together so his head was raised and laid down with his legs splayed wide and one hand holding his dick steady. Castiel didn’t need instruction as he moved to straddle Sam. Once he had a leg on either side of Sam, Castiel put both hands to Sam’s face and pulled him into a soft, passionate kiss. As he pulled out of the kiss, Castiel trailed his hands from Sam’s face, down his neck, over his torso, and reached behind him to grip Sam’s hand that was holding his dick steady. The other hand hovered over Sam’s stomach as Castiel slowly sank down on Sam, his eyes rolling back as he felt the welcome stretch. He finally understood why it is than humans spend so much time on these carnal activities. He didn’t stop until his body was flush with Sam’s, giving himself a few moments to breathe deep and adjust. Sam was rubbing his hands on Castiel’s flanks and thighs, encouraging but not pressuring. Sam had to actively stop himself from thrusting up or dragging Castiel off his cock only to slam him back down. Before Sam had time to fully process that he was inside the object of his sexual fantasies, Castiel began to move. Sam imagined a lot of scenarios, but none would have prepared him for the hard, authoritative pace Castiel set. He lifted himself and slammed back down as he rotated his hips, assuring that Sam’s cock was hitting him just right. Sam went to rub the tops of Castiel’s thighs when both of Castiel’s hand grabbed his. He slammed both hands to the mattress above Sam’s head then drew them closer together as he grabbed both wrists in one hand. Sam whimpered as Castiel used just a fraction of his power to restrain him, and then trailed the other hand over Sam’s check to start tweaking his nipple. Never once faltering his pace as he bounced on Sam’s cock mercilessly.
Sam was very much aware that he was not going to last long like this. “Please Cas,” he really was begging right now, the desperation and need very apparent in his voice, “Let me touch you. I need to touch you.”
“No,” Castiel’s response was firm as he tightened his grip on Sam’s wrists. A glimpse into Sam’s mind told him what he needed to know, though it wasn’t intentional for Castiel in this position. Sam did not want to finish and leave Castiel unsatisfied. Castiel sounded more breathy than he intended to as he continued, “I assure you, Sam, I will be able to finish just like this.” He picked up his pace, somehow managing to be both rougher and faster than before. Castiel’s free hand caressed any skin he could reach with no real goal in mind. Sam was a mess beneath him. He was holding on by a thread, still not fully believing this was really happening. Castiel knew he was close and seeing Sam’s pleasure was sending him barreling closer. He was suddenly very aware of his impending orgasm, “Close your eyes, Sam!”
Sam was with it enough to know what Castiel said, “What?! No, I want to watch…”
Castiel released his grip on Sam’s wrists and threw his hand over Sam’s eyes just for good measure, “Close your eyes!” He barely strangled the words out, Sam squeezed his eyes shut and could see there was a huge flare of light in the room as he felt the beginnings of Castiel coming, untouched, over his stomach and chest. The intensity of it combined with the clenching and unearthly heat washing over him caused Sam to start coming himself. It felt like it went on forever, dragging extra waves of pleasure from him before everything went black.
Sam was under the comforter, feeling clean but definitely sated when he came to. He was unsure if Castiel had wiped him down and muscled him under the sheets or simply mojoed them into this position. Sam was on his back, with his head still on the pillows, while Castiel nestled close to him with his head resting over Sam’s heart. He was content to listen to the man’s breath and just be. He had been aware Sam was conscious now but let the time pass. After a while he finally spoke.
“… I don’t know what to do, Sam,” Castiel murmured.
“Hmm,” Sam grunted lazily.
“I don’t know what to do next. About Heaven and Hell, humanity, all of it,” Castiel spoke quietly as he absently traced patterns through Sam’s light chest hair over his pecks, occasionally grazing a nipple but not in way intending to draw a reaction.
“I do… I know exactly what to do,” Sam spoke sleepy but with unwavering confidence.
“What’s that?” Castiel asked, curious for Sam’s take.
“First, we go kick Metatron in his non-junk, then we go shake Dean until he understands why what he did to me was wrong…” he stopped for a second, then smiled, “Then we go to a nice hotel. One with a big bathroom and one of those big tubs, and we don’t leave for, like, a week….”
“I remember that fantasy…” Castiel started, as Sam blushed. Even now, after everything that had just happened, he felt embarrassed by Castiel knowing his deepest, most deprived thoughts. But on the flip side, he hadn’t gone running for the hills after some of Sam’s more elaborate and kinky fantasies. This could be the start of something good.