Chapter Text
“There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.” The Young Jedi Knight softly whispered the code of the Jedi Order to himself, attempting to center himself into a serene state of being, as he sat in his room in a meditative position. But whatever Jedi created this mantra, must not have possessed the ability of psychometry. The Force technique that allowed the user to sense the history of objects and people through the Force when they touched them, the ability was both a great gift and curse.
For Cal Kestis at this current moment, the ability was a cruel curse. As he was seeing echoes of intimate memories, that was making his heart and soul pulse with hurt, anger and envy.
Merrin and her now ex-lover Fret were locked in a lewd embrace on his cot, that would make a erotic holos blush profusely.
It had been little over a month since they had dropped off Fret and Irei on Zimara, but every time he entered his room, the lustful echoes assault him like blaster fire.
He never expected or believed when he let Merrin use his room for practice to try and rekindle her flames, that she would take advantage of his generosity like that.
Merrin’s fine silver hair head was thrown back in ecstasy as her keshiri lover ate her out strongly. Alabaster and lavender skin bodies were shiny with sweat, the Nightsister sat on one of her elbows, while one of her hands was gripping violet hair pushing the former analyst further into her center. Her sleek bleached legs trembling slightly over wide purple shoulders, her black colored toes curled as she reached her peak.
The next scene was just as wicked as it was lecherous.
Merrin was on her hands and knees, hands braced against the wall of the Jedi’s room. Fret was kneeling behind the witch, gripping her hip bones thrusting into Merrin in long, smooth strokes with the strapon she wore, leaving the witch gasping. After one particularly good snap of the keshiri’s hips, Merrin’s arms gave out and she buried her little face in the pillows and covers, moaning out mindlessly.
“Ah-ha!! Uh…uh–Gah…yes!!” Merrin moaned in pleasure.
Cal could feel her ecstasy through the Force with each pitch of her sweet moans and groans, the way the Nightsister bath and basket in the desire, made his body throb in a meek salacious thrill. Which made him feel even more disgruntled and jealous.
It should be him making Merrin feel such allure. It should be him that she yearns and craves for. It should be him reigniting her lime color flames.
It Wasn’t Fair!! She should be with him!! She should be his!! Like he was hers!!
But that way of thinking made the Jedi feel deep seeded shame and regret, because Merrin wasn’t his or anybody's to own, she wasn’t property to be traded or possessed. She was a living breathing person, who Cal respected and cared for vehemently. But It still didn’t change or alter the powerful feeling of wanting her.
Because The Force help him, Cal Kestis infamous Jedi Knight, wanted the fabled Nightsister Merrin in the most indescribable ways possible.
He just wanted to press his hands on her.
And It terrified Cal more than a whole platoon of Purge Troopers sent to dispatch him could.
The feelings and thoughts of the Dathomir native excited and unnerved him all at once, nothing in his past had properly prepared him for such feelings. Master Tapal and the Jedi Order as whole didn’t specialize or prioritize matters of the heart, they did the opposite of that in some regards. And Cal didn’t feel comfortable or confident enough to ask Master Cere and he dare not ask Greez’s advice.
So instead, Cal opted on going away inside and locking the feelings away deep within himself, despite it feeling like he was containing a turbulent storm in his mind, body and spirit.
Cal let out a long tired sigh and got to his feet as he knew meditation was pointless tonight. He glanced at his workbench where his lightsaber and BD-1 rested. The little explorer droid was in ‘sleep’ mode and Cal didn’t want to wake his friend. And he decided to work on his saber another time, so instead chose to go to the large seating area. Knowing that he would have some quiet time to himself with these antithetical thoughts and feelings, as the rest of his crew was sleeping or resting in their chambers.
The Redhead Jedi went to the door and as he pressed the button to open it, he felt her heat, the warmth she naturally emitted. The Force only amplified the sensation.
“Had she been here the whole time? Did she just appear suddenly? Why didn’t I sense her?” Cal asked himself, but he didn’t have time to think about these thoughts as the metal door slid open and revealed the person who haunted the Jedi.
Merrin stood in front of Cal in her sleepwear, made of a black short crop top and compression shorts. Her arms were crossed in a casual stance, her chocolate colored eyes melted into his green ones, making the Jedi feel like he was caught up in one of her dazzling flames.
“Did I disturbed you?” The Nightsister asked evenly, keeping her eyes on his, while also taking in his biceps and forearms. They always had well defined leanness to them, but they have recently taken on ripped mildly buffness, the training shirt he wore also helped put emphasis on them.
But Merrin’s eyes refocused back on Cal’s and the bags under them troubled her greatly, they were getting more potent in size and coloration daily.
“No, not at all.” Cal said coolly, keeping his eyes on hers and not her serpentine body, especially those legs. That were as lethal as they were graceful.
“Good.” The Nightsister said factly, walking in the room that she had spent an adequate amount of time in. She could feel the Jedi’s eyes move to glance at her ass and then move to look at something else. Merrin had gotten good at sensing Cal’s peeks at her, she liked them. Even inviting them occasionally, they made her feel good and nice. She made herself comfortable on his cot, like she had a hundred times by now.
Merrin waited for Cal to join her after he shut the door, but instead he leaned against it and folded his arms, turning eyes to the floor, his workbench and his annoyingly cute droid companion. Anywhere but her, irritating and making her feel uneasy. He had been acting aloof, distant and serene to the point of indifference with her for awhile now and that hurt Merrin more than she realized it could.
They used to be so close to the point Greez said they were becoming one walking ball of aggravation and stubbornness. Cere even said their bond was the Force’s will at work.
And while Merrin couldn't feel the Force like two of her crew members, she could feel something essential and…fated about her bond with Cal. He was her shining star, her beacon, that always guided her through the darkness to her home.
But After the situation with Fret and Irei a rift has been developing between them. And Merrin wanted to close it as soon as possible. Her thoughts couldn't help but go back to the sulfur baths on Zimara, back to the words and revelations that Fret had brought to her mind. About Cal and his feelings towards her.
And It’s been on Merrin’s mind since, rather in the front, back or middle. It was all over her head.
“You've been avoiding me, Cal Kestis. I would like to know why.” Merrin said bluntly and to the point, enjoying the Jedi’s perturbed flushed face, seeing her words and assumptions had truth to them.
“What? No!! I…Merrin…I haven’t…” Cal couldn’t find his words as he knew his friend was correct. He had been keeping her at arms length, ever since he was able to somewhat contextualize his stormy feelings for her. He had been withdrawn from her.
Which was something very hard and difficult to do, especially with the crew agreeing to keep a low profile for a while. Resulting in them being on the Mantis more often.
“I’m starting to worry about you, Jedi. I can tell you haven't been sleeping either, at least not well. Is the lack of proper sleep and rest the reason for your distant and sullen behavior?” The Witch inquired, her tone gaining some sharpness to it, she disliked it when Cal or anyone couldn’t give her a clean cut answer, especially in this case where she could tell that there was something going on and bothering the Jedi.
“I haven’t been sullen and I’m sorry If I had been distant with the crew, I wasn’t trying to be. My sleeping is what it is, don’t worry about it, I got it covered. I can use meditation as a supplement for sleep.” Cal answered, managing to find a steadiness to his voice. It was true, he could use meditation as a substitute for sleep, he had become quite expert in doing so. But the redhead knew that substitute was running thin for him and couldn’t make up for the real natural thing, which is something he definitely needed more of.
For a few lengthy moments, the only noise that could be heard in the room was the white noise of hyperspace, the low thrumming of the ship and the gentle hum of the resting BD-1, as Merrin scrutinized her Jedi. Cal met her incandescent glaze and felt himself being inundated by her.
“You haven’t been avoiding Cere or Greez, only me. If…I…done something to offend you, you would tell me, yes? If the dreams…the nightmares were troubling you, you would talk to me, yes?” Merrin asked with pure sincerity, hoping Cal would be honest and open with her, much how he used to be. How they used to be.
Cal flustered at Merrin’s words, the heartfeltness in them broke him, made him joyous and irked him all at once. On one hand, it hurt him that he was so stifled and despondent from being honest with Merrin. When it was at one point, it was as easy as breathing. But the other part of him was frustrated and exasperated with her. She should know or have an idea on what was vexing him when it came to her.
Would she see his waning willing heart.
But how can he tell her his reasons, that she was his reasons. That Merrin’s fairy moans, tempest body, bewitching eyes and enchanting voice was the thing that was plaguing and enticing him, Merrin was both Cal’s candied dreams and unholy nightmares that kept him awake.
It's a strange spell that he lusted for.
Cal wanted to be honest and forthcoming with Merrin, but he felt the truth would hurt her and cause the chink in their bond to turn into a full crevice.
My…psychometry has been causing me some distress.” Cal said softly, choosing mild truthfulness with the Nightsister.
Merrin looked at her Jedi perplexed look. Besides going on the most necessary supply runs, the Manties crew hadn't gone on any missions since the Qeris Lar situation, Merrin was at a loss at what new objects or artifacts that Cal could have come in contact with, unless. The echoes that were causing Cal distress were on the Manties. But surely nothing in their home could cause the Jedi such grief.
“What are they Cal? Whatever it is, you can share it with me.” The Witch said earnestly, her brown eyes showing the same. She moved to the edge of the cot, practically seating off it.
The tempestuous emotions and feelings in the Jedi were pleading to be let out, but Cal didn’t want to overwhelm Merrin. It wouldn’t be fair towards her, but he saw no other choice or option but to be forthright with her. She deserved it.
“I've been seeing echoes of you and Fret…together.” Cal said in a voice barely above whisper, keep a careful watchful eye for Merrin’s reaction.
Merrin’s expression was thoughtful as she processed Cal words, after a few moments her face morphed into a fusion of horrific realization and shameful regret.
Cal had been recalling her and Fret’s moments in his room, when Merrin was supposed practicing stoking her fire, but instead her and Keshiri fucked like Bogling in heat. On the cot, on the floor or on the wall. Merrin and Fret touched every part of Cal’s room, it was practically a hot box of their smutty activities.
Merrin felt nauseated as she thought of what it must have been like for Cal in his own private chambers, and the rest of the Mantis didn’t offer him any sanctuary or reprieve. Given how affectionate or “lovey-dovey” as Greez dubbed them, Merrin and her ex-lover were in the rest of the ship, there was no escaping for her Jedi.
It was like Cal was trapped in a paradox prism of prison made of misery and unwantedness. And she was the architect.
“Oh, Cal. I…” Merrin didn’t get to finish what she was about to say, as the alarms of the Mantis cut her off.
Danger was upon them.