Work Text:
If you told Dazai Osamu four years ago that he’d be sitting in front of a monitor, streaming live to thousands of people while playing Stardew Valley of all things, he would’ve laughed in your face. Said it was impossible, that internet fame wasn’t for him and peaceful games such as that don’t suit him.
Yet here he was, well into the evening, sitting comfortably in his chair doing just that.
His eyes glided over his right monitor as he skimmed the chat, picking out one to read at random.
“‘Who’s your favourite character?’ That’s really easy, dear chatter. It’s obviously Sandy. She’s so pretty!” He replied, giving the camera a smile, that quickly turned mischievous. “Do you think she’d be up for…”
Before he could finish his sentence, multiple highlighted messages from his moderators flashed in his chat, all displaying the exact same message: NO SUICIDE JOKES YOU’LL GET BANNED!
Dazai just sighed dramatically. “Well, you know what I mean… what would I do without you, Kunikida-kun?” He asked, addressing his most strict moderator, ignoring the mass of messages that followed.
Despite teasing him relentlessly, Dazai was always genuine when he asked that. Without Kunikida he would be nowhere near where he is now in his streaming career- not to mention probably banned . Twitch didn’t appreciate his blunt suicide jokes, it seemed. Annoying, but fair.
He winked at the camera and continued playing the game peacefully, reading out a donation here and there before the peaceful atmosphere was interrupted. Muffled screams could be heard through Dazai’s microphone, and it definitely wasn’t anything playing.
Dazai froze for a moment, but it was barely noticeable as he quickly regained his composure. Chuuya was yelling again, likely at another game. It was a common occurrence but rarely happened when he was streaming.
Looking to his right, Dazai noticed his chat quickly flooding with all-caps messages and questions, asking about the origin of the mysterious sound. Dazai made no move to show that he’d heard anything, his expression the same as ever.
He continued his stream as normal, acting as if nothing happened. After fifteen minutes passed, he looked straight at the camera again with a smile.
“Well,” he said slowly. “I think that’ll be the stream for tonight. Thank you all for tuning in once again~”
He smirked at the chat all screaming either their goodbyes or rows upon rows of ‘NOOOO’s and ended his stream.
Sighing, Dazai removed the sticker-covered headphones from his head, placing them on the desk in front of him as he slid back from it in his chair. Stretching his legs, he got up from the chair, left his room and headed towards a certain chibi’s, ready to inform him of what the redhead had just done.
He already felt his phone vibrating uncontrollably in his pocket, knowing fully that his Twitter was probably being bombed. Taking one step after another, he made it to Chuuya’s room, quietly opening the door.
Inside he spotted his husband doing exactly what he’d predicted: playing a videogame. Squinting, Dazai could make out that it was some sort of shooter; hence the screaming, then.
Smiling fondly, Dazai leaned on the doorframe for a moment, taking in the sight of Chuuya in his natural habitat, wearing a simple white t-shirt and black shorts, sitting cross-legged on a chair matching Dazai’s, red and black headphones sitting atop his tied-up red hair. Despite being clearly focused on the game in front of him, Chuuya seemed happy and at ease.
After a moment, Dazai determined that Chuuya was likely not streaming, since his hair was not done and he wasn’t making much commentary. With that, he took a few steps forward into the room, coming up behind Chuuya, before slowly lifting the latter’s headphones off his head.
The reaction was instant. “HEY! What do you think you–” Chuuya yelled, craning his head up as the headphones were removed to see Dazai smiling down at him. Chuuya glared but didn’t move to get his headphones back.
Instead, he just sighed. “What d’you want, mackerel? I was in the middle of a game,” Chuuya said, exasperatedly gesturing to the monitor in front of him, with a pause screen displayed on it.
Dazai felt a sense of pride, knowing very few things were important enough for Chuuya to pause a game he was playing.
Dazai smiled, placing his chin atop Chuuya’s head before speaking softly. “Could the slug maybe be a bit less loud and obnoxious?” He said, ignoring Chuuya’s sound of offence before elaborating. “I was streaming.”
Dazai felt Chuuya’s eyebrow go up. “Okay, so?” Chuuya asked. “Our walls are soundproof, aren’t they?”
That's how it had always been. As soon as they moved in together, the first thing they did was get separate, soundproof streaming rooms. Privacy precaution, but also a helpful tool to not get neighbour complaints.
Dazai hummed in response. “And yet, I could still hear Chuuya yelling like a chihuahua from my room,” he said, chuckling at the headbutt in the chin he got in return. “Pretty sure chat-chan heard too~”
Chuuya groaned. “Chat ‘chan’?” He said, making a face, but dropped it when Dazai waved a hand dismissively. “Whatever. I’m not exactly seeing the issue.”
Dazai draped his hands over Chuuya’s shoulders, letting out a dramatic whine. “Check Twitter, Chuuya! They're already onto me!"
That much was true. Dazai could still feel his phone exploding with Twitter notifications from where it sat in his pocket.
Chuuya smirked. "Sounds like a you problem, bastard. Don't rope me into this," he said, Dazai letting out an affronted gasp. Did Chuuya not understand what he'd done?
"But it's chibi's fault!" He complained, but Chuuya only shrugged.
"That's not my problem," he said, nodding at the monitor. "They don't exactly know that."
Not yet.
"And what if they find out it's you? Most of my chat hates you!" Dazai whined, shaking his head. "They'll have my head!"
They probably already do, Dazai thought. He was terrified of checking his rapidly rising notification count. It's not every day that his chat finds out something as personal as Dazai living with someone.
But Chuuya? Dazai's chat was not fond of the more straightforward and aggressive streamer.
"Your brats are just like you," Chuuya replied. "Annoying and dramatic. You did it to yourself, love."
Dazai only groaned, Chuuya chuckling.
"If it makes you feel any better, my chat doesn't like you , either," Chuuya said, looking up at his husband. "They think you're too annoying."
"Your chat has no taste, slug, they're all just very aggressive," Dazai sighed, thinking back to the last time he browsed their tags on Twitter. Both their fanbases were constantly at each other's throats, arguing every other day over which one of the couple was better.
Naturally, neither side had any idea of one very crucial detail: the two streamers they kept pitting against each other were happily married and found the battles entertaining.
(That is, when they didn't get out of hand. Dazai couldn't look at Twitter for a month after a certain tweet Chuuya showed him. )
There was a few reasons why they decided to keep their relationship on the down low from fans, but hate and fan wars took the top seat, just above general privacy.
As it may be, neither ever went out of their way to completely hide it either. Chuuya had worn his ring on stream multiple times, and Dazai was ninety-nine percent sure that Chuuya has left his iconic headphones in Dazai's room before, and they were definitely seen on stream.
Thankfully, no one had come to any type of conclusion, but Dazai thought this may have just been the thing that did it.
Chuuya tapped Dazai's hands, which were still draped over the former's shoulders, bringing his attention back to the present.
"I'd say this is the perfect opportunity to fuck with them," Chuuya said, a grin spreading across his face. "If it's already ruined, might as well have some fun with it, eh?"
Dazai blinked a few times at the implication before grinning back. "Is chibi sure? No going back," he pointed out, but Chuuya was quick to dismiss.
"Yeah I'm sure. It'll be fun, right?" He said, spinning around in his chair to face his husband, who quickly moved back. "You in, Osamu?"
Dazai nodded, mischief filling his eyes. "You're on, slug. Can't wait to make your life hell on and off stream~!"
Chuuya rolled his eyes, but the grin never left his face. Before he could say anything, Dazai spoke again.
"Right, well," he said, swinging back and forth lightly, a tilt to his voice that Chuuya wasn't sure if he liked. "Now that that's settled, can you make dinner? I'm hungry."
Chuuya shook his head in exasperation. "As incompetent as ever, I see," he said, but smiled nonetheless. "Sure. I'll go make some after one more game."
Dazai grinned, planting a kiss on Chuuya's forehead before spinning and leaving the room, accompanied by a "love you!~" spilling from his lips.
Chuuya chuckled, placing his headphones back on his head as he yelled back "love you too!"
val // ready for it? @valldaz
so why are we all just as a fandom ignoring that Dazai hasn't streamed since THE stardew valley stream? where did he go?? what is the silly man hiding??
74 Retweets 22 Quotes 1.3k Likes
missing dazai hours @osamusdays
Replying to @valldaz
can assure that no one is ignoring it op WHERE IS HE GONE ?? like it's no coincidence he definitely heard it on stream .. does he have a roommate??
19 Retweets 207 Likes
val // ready for it? @valldaz
Replying to @osamusdays
I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT… SECRET ROOMMATE?? DAZAI EXPLAIN
32 Retweets 583 Likes
yea @makemes
Tell me if I sound delusional but chuuya and dazai both haven't streamed since ..
1 Retweet 6 Likes
Sam // WHERE IS DAZAI @playinosa
Replying to @makemes
Maybe save yourself…
3 Likes
CHUUYA @cnakahara
streaming valorant join or you're a loser
twitch.tv/cnakahara
2.3k Retweets 883 Quotes 93k Likes
"You streaming?" Dazai's voice echoed through the room, and Chuuya looked over his shoulder to see his husband in the doorway.
"About to," he said, "why?"
Dazai shrugged. "Just asking. Want tea?"
Chuuya raised an eyebrow. "Made by you? Hell no. You put way too much sugar in that stuff," he scoffed, looking back at his monitor.
"So rude." Dazai sighed, shaking his head. "Enjoy your stream chibi!" Spinning on his heel, Dazai left the room.
Chuuya rolled his eyes, pressing start stream as he pondered what the hell his husband was planning this time. It'd been a week since they decided they weren't going to hide their relationship on the internet anymore at all… so he can't help but be worried.
Pushing the thoughts away, he turned to his left to see people flooding into the stream. Chat was going by faster than ever.
He tilted his head. "What the hell's got you lot so riled up, huh? Never seen you this excited," he said, skimming the chat.
A lot of messages were zooming past, but the most prominent and repeating question Chuuya could make out was; 'where were you?'
"Where was I?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes at the camera. "That's none of your business, you nosy bastards. Be grateful you're getting the stream at all."
The chat asked fewer questions after that, Chuuya's stream going as usual. That was until a certain mackerel decided he wanted to break the internet today.
“Hey,” Dazai said, coming into the room, just out of frame of the camera. “Mind if I grab something?”
Chuuya just stared at him, bewildered. He knew that they weren’t hiding their relationship anymore, but this was extremely straightforward, even for Dazai. Sliding his headphones off, he raised an eyebrow at his husband before gesturing at the monitor that was still live streaming. He wisely chose to ignore the chat.
“Can you not walk in right now?” Chuuya complained, earning a glare from Dazai. “I’m streaming.”
Dazai scoffed and walked further into the room, teasing the stream by only showing part of his arm in frame. Chuuya held back a snort at the obvious fan tease. “So? I left my tea in here, and I want tea. What’s your point?” Dazai said, feigning innocence.
“Why the hell is your tea in my room?” Chuuya deadpanned, and Dazai only shrugged. “Dunno,” he said, “but I want it back, so if you’d be so kind…”
Dazai then proceeded to snatch his tea from where it was left, and leave the room with a “bye-bye, Chuuya’s rabid chat!”
Rolling his eyes, Chuuya sighed. He turned back to his monitor, facing the camera. “Yeah, I think that’s enough for today. Bye, chat.” And with that vague statement, he ended his stream, still ignoring his overflowing chat.
ava // CHUUYA WHAT??? @chuuyamm
WHAT THE HELL WHO WAS THAT
43 Retweets 17 Quotes 763 Likes
Shane (winning at uno) @shayning
Replying to @chuuyamm
Ermmm… not to be that person but didn’t it sound an awful lot like dazai …
3 Retweets 46 Likes
ava // CHUUYA WHAT??? @chuuyamm
Replying to @shayning
NONONONONON SHUTUPTUPTUPTU
12 Likes
tom <3 @thomasdays
.@cnakahara TELL US WHO THAT IS BRO ??
2048 Retweets 98 Quotes 17.4k Likes
CHUUYA @cnakahara
Replying to @thomasdays
You’ll know soon.
6836 Retweets 349 Quotes 58.2k Likes
tom <3 @thomasdays
Replying to @cnakahara
THAT’S SO VAGUE OMG? ??
523 Retweets 34 Quotes 11.7k Likes
“Dazai,” Chuuya said, coming into the kitchen, where the brunette in question was scrolling through his phone, a cup of tea in his hand. Dazai hummed to indicate he was listening but made no other move to acknowledge Chuuya’s presence.
“Stream today, but after I’m done,” he said simply, causing his husband to glance up at him in surprise. “And keep your ring on.”
Dazai raised an eyebrow but made no noises of protest and nodded. “Any reason?”
“You’ll see,” Chuuya replied, giving him a wink before he left the kitchen to go start his stream.
Dazai, face quickly heating up, hid behind his teacup.
CHUUYA @cnakahara
up for a game n a chat?
twitch.tv/cnakahara
4.8k Retweets 1.4k Quotes 109k Likes
Pressing the start stream button, Chuuya smiled smugly at the camera. He knew how Twitter has been blowing up for the past few days, after Dazai shamelessly walked in on Chuuya streaming, demanding his tea. Dazai had teased not only his voice but his structure, and people were theorising left and right.
“Hey, idiots,” he said, glancing at his chat. “Bet you wanna know some things, huh?”
Opening the first game he saw, he started booting up the rest of the stream controls as he spoke.
"First things first, yes I do live with someone, you nosy bitches," he explained, glaring at the camera as he enunciated the last words. "If you behave, maybe I'll tell you his name."
Chuuya smiled as the chat filled with choruses of 'YES' and 'FINE'.
"Perfect," he said, pulling the game he opened up on the screen. "Let's play, yeah?"
The stream overall went smoothly, with Dazai not interrupting a single time, likely preparing for his own stream as asked by Chuuya. Chuuya witnessed some weirdos be banned by Tachihara, making a mental note to thank the man later.
Finally, Chuuya saw a message in chat that he took as the perfect opportunity to drop the bombshell he'd been holding in the entire stream.
"'Opinions on Stardew Valley?'" He read, "I mean it is a cute game. My husband plays it all the time so I've kind of been exposed to it a lot."
Chuuya spoke casually as if he hadn't just made his chat go absolutely feral with just a few carefully crafted words.
Chuckling, Chuuya explained. "Yes, chat, I have a husband. Who did you think lived with me?" He held his hand up clearly in front of the camera, gold and black-gemstone band on full display on his ring finger.
Eyes skimming over the chat, he read quite a few messages asking for his husband's name. He did tell them that he'd say his name if they behaved… and nothing went wrong that stream.
“Funny story, actually,” he said, deciding they’d waited enough. “I’m pretty sure you all know my husband very well… I’ve definitely seen y’all tweet about him before.”
He paused, letting the anticipation build. His chat flew by like there was no end.
“You all know him well, I’m sure… my husband’s name is Osamu. Osamu Dazai,” he said after a tense silence, and it was done. He smiled at the camera smugly again, looking like he’d just won the lottery, and promptly ended the stream.
Once he was sure the stream was over, he chuckled to himself.
Have fun with that, Osamu , he thought.
Owo(samu) @rizzamudazai
STARDEW VALLEY AND CHILL COME COME~~~
twitch.tv/owosamu
6.1k Retweets 2.2k Quotes 148k Likes
val // ready for it? @valldaz
Replying to @rizzamudazai
OH YOU BASTARDS.
52 Retweets 883 Likes
Dazai fiddled with his ring as he gave his viewers time to gather on Twitch before starting the stream. He wasn’t one hundred per cent sure what Chuuya was planning, but he had a faint idea, and it was undoubtedly something mischievous. They say soulmates rub off on each other, after all.
Without any more hesitating, he started his stream, waving to the camera as his chat exploded.
"Hi, chat!" He said happily, eyes glued to his right monitor as he waved. "Ready for some more rizzing up the non-dateable NPCs?"
Reading the chat, he raised an eyebrow. "Wow," he said, looking at the camera, then back at the chat. "You're all definitely riled up over something."
Of course, he could easily guess that this was Chuuya's fault. There's a reason he's streaming right now and not cuddling his slug on the couch.
The sacrifices he makes, really.
But one message, in particular, caught his eye.
"Chuuya called you his husband," he read, smile turning giddier with every word. "Chuuya did? Really?"
Leaning back on his chair, he pointedly faced the door and yelled into the apartment: "CHUUYA CALLED ME HIS HUSBAND?!"
After a moment, a reply came, voice as clear as ever despite the soundproof walls. "NO, I DIDN'T, FUCK OFF!"
Dazai laughed, turning back to his monitor, where his chat was still going absolutely insane.
"Is it true?" He read from it, and his smile brightened in response. "Alas," he said, "I have had the misfortune of being married to Chuuya for the past four years." He lifted his hand, displaying the shiny black and gold band on his ring finger, an identical one to Chuuya's, to the camera.
"Unfortunately?" Came Chuuya's voice, much closer this time, as the redhead was now stepping into Dazai's room. He stepped closer and closer until he was in frame, standing just behind Dazai's chair.
"If anyone's unfortunate here it's me," he said, staring down at Dazai, and then at the camera. "Hey, 'Samu's chat."
He gave the camera a small salute before Dazai spoke.
"You planned this?" He asked Chuuya simply, and the latter grinned, which was answer enough.
"Well, guess that's over and done with," Dazai said, grinning back. "Does this mean I can kiss chibi on camera now?"
"Gross," was Chuuya's instinctual reply, but he quickly amended it. "Yeah, I guess. But do not barge into my room every stream just for that."
"No promises~"
"Kill yourself."
"Chuuya! You'll get me banned!"
"Good."
They ended the stream soon after, not bothering to answer any of the chat's questions. Chuuya would respond with "none of your business, losers" every time, making it pointless to ask.
Dazai, on the other hand, had confidently told chat that he would come onto Twitter and answer any questions he wanted to about him and Chuuya's relationship if they tweeted at him. Chuuya specified that if it was too personal, there would be no answer.
Owo(samu) @rizzamudazai
excited?~ #soukoku
[ Attached: Photo of Dazai and Chuuya sitting in front of a mirror, Dazai taking the picture as Chuuya contently leans on his shoulder, seemingly asleep. The mirror frame is covered in colourful stickers ranging from video games to shiny stars. Both their rings are proudly on full display. ]
10.5k Retweets 6.2k Quotes 347k Likes
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#soukoku
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