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Cyno has always thought that he would be alone his whole life.
Growing up in the desert was tough for an orphan like him and loneliness became the norm quickly. His time at the Akademiya, Hermanubis, the… tests didn’t change much. It brought the world of pain and suffering but the spirit’s power allowed him to become who he is today. Cyrus became a presence in Cyno’s life by then, but the man never offered affection or empathy even. He is still thankful for the guidance, but their relationship could never be considered loving.
His studies were the time when things started changing. It wasn’t Spantamad that offered empathy or companionship, though. It was the Amurta scholar, Tighnari. The fox was his first friend, first confidante and later on his first lover as well. Collei later reinforced their relationship and made them closer than ever. And with that Cyno was content. He wasn’t alone anymore. But that wasn’t it yet.
While saving Sumeru Cyno gets closer to Alhaitham. Well, first he attacks him, argus with him a lot and then begrudgingly works with him for a while but they spend a lot of time together in the process. And with his unwavering need for justice, he recognizes Haitham’s convictions and actually… starts relying on him in some ways. Alhaitham is level-headed and smart in a way that Cyno respects and learns to trust in ways he never thought were possible.
And when he thought that was it, he was again proven wrong. Tighnari introduces him to Kaveh. And, quickly, they became friends. Kaveh became a shockingly soothing presence in Cyno’s life. He understood him, was more playful than the other two but also emotional in a way Cyno was never able to be. They also quickly found out how much they had in common. Things like selflessness and the tendency to overwork themselves became topics shared in between the two.
And so Cyno’s belief that he would always be alone was no more. He had three – three people in his life.
And at first, they were friends. They hung out, helped each other, they were there for one another. And then things changed. When Tighnari kissed him one day when he was visiting Cyno had to rethink everything. That was a turning point. He never thought about romance or sexuality or relationships deeper than simple friendship. And for a while Tighnari showed him everything about it. He showed him what love means and how to show it and then how to actually feel it.
Cyno was happy. By archons was he really fucking happy. And then there was more.
They were all at Alhaitham’s place when Kaveh shyly came forward with a proposition.
“Why don’t we all just… date each-other? All four of us?”
And they thought about it and talked about it and eventually it came true. It was hard at first – their schedules didn’t line up and there were two established relationships crashing together but after a while they all felt whole.
But out of all of them Cyno had the most trouble with fitting in. They all have their problems and schedule difficulties but the General Mahamatra is one of the most hardworking people in the entirety of Sumeru. And the emotional repression really doesn’t help. That have been getting better with time, but he still tends to supress his emotions and ignore a lot of his issues. All that results in some less-than-ideal situations at first.
Cyno is rarely home and when he is, physical contact is hard for him to initiate. And seeing his partners so close when he comes back from the desert or other place where he carries out justice hurts. It hurts because it feels like he isn’t allowed to join in, like he doesn’t deserve the contact and comfort. It also hurts because he can’t deal with it by himself and all of the people important to him are the only ones he can’t talk to about this issue.
Eventually he works himself into a near emotional breakdown and his partners of course notice. The conversation after that is long and difficult and it may result in Cyno crying in front of his boyfriends for the first time. But they are all better after that. Cyno learns to communicate better and come to his partners for comfort. And in turn Kaveh, Nari and Haitham are more attentive and present whenever the Matra is home.
And sometimes the General comes home after a month long mission and he is exhausted beyond being present anymore and when he arrives home – dirty, with shadows under his eyes and bruises marring his body – his boyfriends see him and they are immediately on their feet with faces scrunched up in concern.
Tighnari comes up to him and helps him by putting an arm around his waist so he can relax his body and the way he immediately slumps and doesn’t protest makes the concern even more palpable. Kaveh immediately prepares a bath and they both put the man in with the architect slipping in as well to prop Cyno up and help clean him while making sure that he doesn’t drown in the process.
They both work soap and oils into his skin and hair after a month in the desert and lack of care made them dry and dull. Their ministrations quickly reduce Cyno into a puddle – his limbs relaxed and his eyes drooping. Tighnari massages salves into the bruises and scrapes marking his smaller boyfriend’s skin. After that Haitham steps in to give the other two the time to make dinner. He scoops Cyno out of the water, pats him dry with a fluffy towel and sets him down in a chair after putting him in the comfiest clothes he can find. He is pretty sure that the oversized shirt is his and the shorts are Kaveh’s but his smallest boyfriend looks comfortable and content surrounded by familiar scent and unrestrictive clothes.
“Hayi…?” Cyno mumbles, barely conscious as he picks him up princess style.
“What is it baby?” Whispered against the General’s cheek makes the white-haired man fist his hand into the back of Haitham’s shirt weakly and attempt to raise the other hand to his boyfriend’s cheek. The scribe shushes him and sets the man on the couch before crouching in front of him and taking his hand to press it against his own cheek.
“You’re safe now baby. You’re home with us, you did so well out there and you can rest now, okay?”
And that prompts Cyno to open his eyes and blink at Haitham tiredly for a minute.
“I… I did good?” Haitham has to stop himself from sighing because really Cyno usually seems so confident and sure of himself but when he becomes like this the entire act falls apart and every single doubt that their love has is ripped into daylight. And sometimes when he sees that he wants to sob and scream, and he knows that both Kaveh and Tighnari feel the same. But now he has to be strong for their partner who is more vulnerable than ever.
“Of course, you did good Cyno. You’re always good my love.” He strokes the man’s cheek gently and the red eyes close slowly.
“Am I really? Even if I ruin people? Even if everyone… is scared of me?” And that really makes Alhaitham’s teeth clench. These doubts have been festering in his boyfriend’s mind for years now. His upbringing has left him with a nearly non-existent self-esteem, and they all try to build him up often, but it barely sticks. He heaves his body off of the floor to sit on the couch and lift Cyno into his lap. The smaller man sluggishly presses his face into the crook of the scribe’s neck and Haitham buries his fingers in slightly damp white hair.
“Sweetheart you are the most amazing person I know. You take care of the criminals while still respecting them and you always make sure that the ordinary people in Sumeru are safe. You are so strong and so so brave, and you are doing such hard work every day. And people may be scared of you because you look stern, but their opinion doesn’t matter Cyno. You know that I love you and respect you and both Kaveh and Nari feel like that too.” The whole time he’s talking he pets Cyno’s hair gently and rocks them both from side to side when he starts feeling tears staining his neck.
Tighnari eventually pokes his head into the room, concerned about the silence and nods at him, signalling that dinner is ready.
“Hey, puppy you think you can eat something?” The gentle whisper results in a quiet sniffle and a nearly unnoticeable shrug.
“Come on, those two made dinner so it should be at least edible.” And Cyno doesn’t chuckle at that, but Haitham feels just the faintest of smiles on his skin and he breathes a little bit lighter.
Trying to set Cyno in a chair results in a small whine and his hands holding onto the taller man’s clothes just a little bit tighter. Haitham doesn’t mind in the slightest though, so he sets him in his lap. Nari is immediately next to them, grabbing one of Cyno’s hands tenderly. Kaveh is there just as fast, on the other side. The tahchin is portioned onto plates and they eat in easy silence. As much as Cyno tries eating by himself the utensils keep slipping from his numb, tired hands and so all of his boyfriends feed him in turns so that they can finish their own food. Normally Cyno would be burning from the embarrassment but at the moment he is just so thankful for them and their care that he kind of just wants to cry. They are all so tender with him, all three keeping at least one hand somewhere on his body so he can tell they are there for him, looking out for him, feeding him, and wiping his chin or lips occasionally. And Haitham’s strong chest keeps him upright and even when he starts to tilt a bit to the side someone’s arm rights him quickly so that he never falls.
Somewhere at the end of the meal the urge to cry wins with his tired mind and he actually starts tearing up again. Crying silently, surrounded by his boyfriends soon transforms into his chest heaving and his shoulders trembling as soft sobs escape him. The thought of them taking care of him when he doesn’t deserve it at all, bathing him, taking care of his wounds, comforting him, and making his favourite food to feed him is so overwhelming for his exhausted mind. It feels him with warmth that feels too big for his body but also a hurt in his chest that demands that he repays them somehow right this instant. He isn’t worth it. He doesn’t deserve this.
He is brought back by soft voices and softer hands telling him to breathe and counting out a rhythm that helps him focus and ground him in reality. And his lungs actually start working as the breaths deeply and calms down slowly. When his body finally relaxes, and panic is not overwhelming his mind anymore delicate hands frame his face and pull it so that he looks right into Kaveh’s eyes.
“My love can you listen to me for a second?” He nods hesitantly and is rewarded with a smile and a gentle swipe of thumbs across his cheekbones.
“Darling, you are worthy of our care, and we give it to you freely because we love you sweetheart. And in our eyes, you are always worthy, and you deserve the world Cyno. Remember what we always say to you when you’re struggling?”
And the General takes a deep breath and with trembling hands clutches the blond’s wrists.
“You will always be mine and I will always be yours.” And at that Kaveh smiles so tenderly that Cyno would sob again if he wasn’t so tired already.
“Yes, exactly. And nothing can change that. Nothing and nobody. Because we will always love you and take care of you. Even when you doubt yourself, we will always be here for you love.” After that Cyno slumps into Kaveh’s arms exhausted to the bone after everything and the architect catches him without a problem. He gets picked up and clings to the blond with all of his weak limbs. Strong hands support his thighs, so he doesn’t fall and then he is being carried to their bed.
And when he is tenderly laid out on the mattress a small whine escapes him because he is in a bed. Actual, soft bed that feels like he is on a cloud after camping in the desert for a month. Kaveh chuckles lowly, kisses his forehead and raises to move away but in blind panic Cyno reaches out for him to come back. His body stiffens again because no, no, no, he can’t be alone again, he doesn’t want to be alone-
But in no time at all a smaller body slides into bed right next to him and his head is being tucked under Tighnari’s chin and calloused fingers are brushing his hair, distracting him from the loss of his other boyfriend.
“Shh pup Kaveh and Hayi will be in bed in a minute, they just have to clean after dinner, yeah?”
And with every minute Cyno’s body relaxes a bit more until he is practically melting into his lover’s embrace. He can finally sleep safely without stirring at every noise from the depth of the desert. But despite his exhaustion Cyno can’t sleep yet. He wants all of his partners here with him. Then he can be calm and content and happy.
It only takes a couple of minutes for his wishes to be answered. A bigger body of Haitham presses against his back and Kaveh’s hands land on his waist and in his hair.
And finally when he is surrounded by his beloveds and their warmth he can allow himself to sleep peacefully.