Chapter Text
Again Clarke woke from her nightmare, tangled in the sheets, cold sweats racking her body. Every night was the same. Thankfully the screams which had terrified the rest of the camp had stopped. Instead of trying to go back to sleep Clarke climbed out of her bed and decided to take a walk. The corridors of the Ark were dimly lit by the small lights which trailed along the ceiling. Clarke had made this walk many times over the last month when she couldn’t sleep, the guys who were on night duty were no longer surprised to see her. After the fall of the mountain she had wanted nothing more than to run, to disappear off into the forest and forget everything that had happened, forget what she had been forced to do through no choice of her own. It would have been so much easier for her, but then she realised that she wasn’t really running from anything when she would be carrying that burden with her anyway. There is no way you can run from something when every time you close your eyes you’re reminded of it.
In the month since the fall of Mount Weather, Camp Jaha hadn’t been bothered by the Grounders. It was like the Commander and her people had completely forgotten they were there, though Clarke knew that certainly wouldn’t be the case. Every time any of her people left the camp they were stepping onto Lexa’s land, it was all her land, and Clarke knew without question that the Commander knew every little thing that took place on it. She was sure that Lexa would have her spies in the forest, for what reason Clarke wasn’t sure, to keep an eye on them or to make sure they didn’t overstep their bounds, either way she wasn’t comfortable with it. Though she could do nothing about it. A war between their people wouldn’t end well, for either of them. Her people had retrieved weapons and technology from the mountain, returning it all to Camp Jaha, they were more than prepared for any war that may come their way, but Clarke wanted nothing more to never see another Grounder face in her life. Again she knew that was wishful thinking. As winter approached she knew that the boundaries would be tested as animals went into hibernation and food started to run scarce. The closest Grounder village to the camp was Tondc, and the Sky People didn’t have the best relationship with the leader of that village, she knew Indra would like nothing more than to see them vanish off the face of the planet.
As she walked out into the main camp, the cold night air hitting her like a bucket of water to the face, she looked around the camp, everything was quiet. She noticed fire light by the tree line, walking over to one of the guards she took his sniper riffle off him and looked through the scope.
“What is it?” the guard asked.
“Nothing…” Clarke said, swallowing hard as she handed him back his gun, knowing it wasn’t nothing, “I just thought I saw something by the tree line.”
Shaking her head a little she turned and walked back inside, wondering why the Grounder Commander was watching them.
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Lexa pulled back from the tree line as she saw the blonde approaching the fencing. She had heard word from her scouts that Clarke was no longer the girl she had first met, the events of Mount Weather changing her, Lexa wanted to see it for herself. Cursing to herself, she knew she hadn’t moved quickly enough, and that Clarke would’ve seen her. She wasn’t sure if the Sky girl would’ve been able to see that it was her, or if she would’ve thought it was just a regular Grounder, but Lexa knew it was too close.
She had moved her base to Tondc temporarily after they got word of movement from the dead zone. The former chancellor had been seen making his way back to the camp which bore his name. Lexa knew there had to be a reason for it, and she had got word from one of the clans on the outskirts of her territory that a large bomb had been retrieved from the sand. The clan leader had sent scouts to discover what it was, and where it was being taken. Out of the 10 scouts she had sent, only one returned. He had told her of a house on an island, and that the Sky people’s ex-chancellor was there. Lexa hadn’t been surprised when word got back to her, she had never trusted Thelonious, not since their first meeting in that cell. Something about him told her that he would be a threat, not only to her people, but to the planet in general. A threat that Lexa knew they would need the Sky people’s help with. She had fought with herself about returning to Camp Jaha, knowing that she wouldn’t be welcome there, her decision a month earlier making sure of that. But she’d had no choice. It was the best thing for her people, and her people would always come first. No matter the person she wanted to be, she had to be the person she needed to be. One that would make the hard choices and save her people. If she had stayed, turning down the Mountain Men’s offer, fighting alongside Clarke and her people, Lexa knew that the death count would be high. Taking the deal insured that she got her people out of the mountain, and it also guaranteed that they would remain free from that threat, if they Sky people were unsuccessful in their attempts. Deep down Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t lose, she didn’t know how to, the blonde girl would’ve given her life to save her people, the Grounder Commander was grateful that it hadn’t come to that. But she had betrayed Clarke, and she knew that asking her for forgiveness wasn’t an option, Lexa wasn’t even sure she deserved it. Part of her, the cold, hard and unfeeling part, felt she had nothing to be forgiven for. She had done what any leader would do.
“Any leader but Clarke…” she said aloud.
She noticed Kassius looking at her in the dark, shaking her head a little she started to walk further into the forest, back in the direction of the horses and Tondc.
“Heda…” Kassius said, thinking he may have missed something.
“Nothing,” Lexa replied, “I was thinking aloud…”
“If I may, Heda,” he said, as he walked next to his leader, “it is not going to do you any good to keep thinking about this. The Sky people need to know what is coming. The man from the dead zone will reach the camp in a matter of days…”
“I know Kassius,” Lexa said, glancing behind her as the tree line covered the camp, “I know…”
Kassius had become invaluable to Lexa over the last month, he had been the one who sat up at night listening to her rant on about the choices that she had made. He had known her since her birth, being friends with her father, so he knew Lexa the person as well as Heda the leader. Through all her ranting he just listened, not judging. He had been there when Lexa’s choices lead to Costia’s death, even holding her at night while she cried, though she would let no one else see those tears.
“What would you do?” she asked quietly as she climbed back onto her horse, “knowing the choices that I’ve made… the pain I am likely to have caused…”
“You have two options,” he said, mounting his own horse before they started the slow ride back to Tondc, “you can approach this as a leader of your people, or you can approach it as one person to another. The Sky people are still on your land Heda, you have allowed them to stay, with no truce and no agreement made. They do not follow your laws, they do not follow you. Your people find this choice questionable, yet fair, given Clarke’s destruction of the mountain, so they do not see it as a weakness. Your next move in regards to them may make that change.”
“If I approach this with an act of force, they will see that as aggression,” Lexa replied, considering what Kassius had said, “we do now know what they have removed from the mountain, we do not know what threat that may pose to us if we make the wrong decision here. I can’t take my army to their fences and demand that they talk to me, being on my land makes no difference to them, it’s their home, they have nowhere else. With the weapons they may have retrieved I may start a war…”
“Do you really believe that the Sky Princess would sanction a war against you Heda?” he asked.
“I believe that she would revel in the opportunity after I betrayed her trust…” Lexa replied quietly.
“Heda…” Kassius said.
“Though she may want to destroy me,” Lexa said, “I do not think that she would risk her people to do so, no…”
The rest of the ride back to Tondc was completed in silence as Lexa considered the choices that she now had to make. She had no choice but to go to the camp, she had no choice but to talk to Clarke. She knew from scout reports that Clarke had been voted in as official leader of the camp, though most believed her to be such before. Now it was official, Lexa would have to meet her, leader to leader, and deal with the consequences which that brought.
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As the sun rose above the camp, Clarke and the hunt team got ready to move out. The food in the camp was slowly running out, though they had brought all the food they could from the mountain, fresh meat was needed as part of the diet. Checking her gun again she looked around her. Lincoln carried his usual weapons, his sword and daggers. Octavia carried her larger blades and daggers. Bellamy carried his gun, which Clarke was pleased about because she’d seen his sword work and she wouldn’t trust him with one. Clarke herself had a blade at her back, a gift from Octavia and Lincoln. Pulling the hood up on the floor-length coat she was wearing, Clarke started to walk to the gate, the others following behind her.
When they approached the tree line Octavia caught up with the blonde.
“I hear you were walking around again last night…” Octavia said, “Nightmares not getting any better?”
“Not getting any worse either,” Clarke replied, “pretty sure we had someone watching the camp last night.”
“Who?” the younger girl asked.
“The Commander.” Clarke replied as they carried on walking.
Octavia knew better than to use Lexa’s name with Clarke, it had all but officially been banned within the camp.
“Why would she be here?” Octavia said, “It makes no sense.”
“Maybe she sees us as a threat now,” Clarke said, shrugging a little, “I mean, winter is coming, food is going to be harder to find around here, maybe we’re now a threat to Tondc.”
“So why wouldn’t Indra deal with that herself, why would Le… the Commander bother,” the other girl said, “Indra wouldn’t have a problem leading a team here, in fact she’d probably enjoy it.”
Clarke raised her hand a little as she spotted a deer in front of them, everyone stopped and ducked down a little. She looked back at Bellamy, seeing him aim his riffle at the deer. This hunt was going to be over quicker than any of them had thought. Clarke’s breath caught in her throat a little as she noticed movement in the tree line beyond the small clearing the deer was in.
“Clarke…” Lincoln said, “What is it?”
“Beyond the deer,” Clarke replied quietly, narrowing her eyes, “what do you see?”
“Grounders!” Bellamy said as the deer ran.
Clarke walked forward, gun drawn. She knew those green eyes anywhere, it wasn’t just any Grounders, it was Lexa. Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy followed behind, all with their weapons drawn. Lexa and her small group walked towards them, meeting them in the clearing. Though Clarke noticed that the Commander hadn’t gone for her sword. Indra, Nyko and the other guy with her, who Clarke didn’t recognise, however had. Not taking her eyes off the girl in front of her, Clarke pointed her gun squarely at Lexa’s head.
“Give me one good reason not to shoot you.” Clarke said coldly.
“Other than starting a war you cannot win?” Nyko asked, before Lexa raised her hand stopping him.
Clarke didn’t even move her eyes to look at him, her eyes stayed locked on Lexa, the girl who had betrayed her. The girl who had left her and her people to die. But the betrayal ran deeper than that for Clarke, so much deeper.
“I could give you many reasons why you shouldn’t shoot me Chancellor.” Lexa replied, “Maybe asking me the reason that I’m here would work out better for you.”
“Chancellor?” Octavia asked, “You mean you know about that?”
“I know everything that happens on my land,” Lexa stated, “Camp Jaha is on my land after all.”
“You’re not giving me a reason not to shoot you Commander,” Clarke said, “implying that you have spies in my camp isn’t a good thing.”
“I do not have spies in your camp,” Lexa replied, “I am simply saying that I know everything that happens on my land. I am aware of the weapons you took from the mountain, I’m aware of the technology you recovered. I am aware that you don’t sleep at night, and I am also aware that you are not going to pull that trigger, or you would’ve done it already.”
“This tension isn’t helping anyone.” Kassius said, “We need to talk about a serious matter.”
“And who the hell are you?” Octavia asked, walking closer to the guy who must have been close to 6 and a half foot tall.
“My name is Kassius,” he replied, looking down at her, “I am one of the Commanders advisors.”
“Octavia,” she replied, “nice to meet you.”
He simply nodded as Octavia stepped back, realising she was a little out of her depth with the big guy.
“What do you want?” Clarke asked Lexa.
“Your ex-Chancellor is returning from beyond the Dead Zone,” Lexa replied, “what he has being doing there, I do not know…”
“I thought you knew everything that happened on your land.” Bellamy said.
“Beyond the Dead Zone is not my land,” Lexa said looking at him, “my land ends at the water.”
“How do you know he’s on his way back here?” Clarke asked, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.
“We’ve been tracking his movements,” Lexa stated, “He hasn’t approached any of my people, or any of my villages.”
“So what’s the problem?” Bellamy asked, “He’s just on his way home. Does he have Murphy with him?”
“He’s alone.” Lexa replied, looking from Bellamy to Clarke, “a large bomb was discovered from the sands of the Dead Zone.”
“A bomb?” Clarke asked, the surprise evident in her voice, “that’s how he got back here…”
“What kind of bomb is big enough for him to use it to get back here?” Octavia asked Clarke.
“A nuclear warhead…” Clarke said.
“From the reports I received from scouts in that area,” Lexa said, trying not to let her voice betray the fact that Clarke had just confirmed her fears, “The bomb was separated into three parts.”
“Bombs are more Raven’s area of expertise,” Clarke replied, kicking herself for what she was about to do, “if we need to know more, then you’re going to have to explain it to her, not me.”
“That means the Commander returning to your camp,” Indra said, finally breaking her silence, “she will be killed.”
“Well we’re not asking you to join her.” Octavia replied, gripping her blade a little tighter as she stepped forwards.
“Octavia…” Clarke said, a warning tone in her voice, which the younger girl responded to, “any issues you have with Indra can wait.”
Octavia nodded her head a little, jaw clenched as she kept her eyes locked on Indra.
“Kassius can accompany me,” Lexa said, “He has no history with your people.”
“He’s a Grounder,” Clarke replied, “that’s history enough.”
“Our people are going to have to work together to deal with this threat Cl…Chancellor,” Lexa said, “They do not have to trust me.”
“I don’t see that as a problem,” Clarke replied, turning to walk back to Camp Jaha, “the not trusting you thing I mean, I think they’ve got that down. We do this now, and we do this my way.”
“You presume to tell the Commander what to do…” Indra said.
Clarke simply turned and looked at her.
“We’re going into my camp,” Clarke replied coldly, “with my people. Either she listens to what I say or she dies. It is that simple. In the same way that I would have to listen to what she said in one of your camps. Camp Jaha may be on the Commanders land, but she has no say over what happens there, I do.”
As Clarke turned and started the walk back to camp, Bellamy noticed Lexa sigh and roll her eyes. She really wasn’t enjoying this anymore than Clarke was. He also noticed that Lexa’s eyes narrowed as she watched Clarke, like she knew that Clarke had changed. Bellamy always thought of it more like something in the blonde girl had broken, not changed. She had closed every part of her off, to everyone, interacting with them only when it was necessary. The only people who saw more of the old Clarke were Octavia, Lincoln and Raven, everyone else got the Ice Chancellor, as some had taken to calling her. She had been chosen to lead them because her people knew that she would do whatever was needed to keep them safe, Abby on the other hand liked to talk, a lot. After the night on the mountain, Clarke had stopped trying to work everything out by talking about it. That night something had changed within them both, Bellamy figured that he dealt better with it than Clarke did. The blonde hadn’t even put herself forward for the new elections, Bellamy on the other hand did. But Clarke was chosen, a decision they all had to follow. Until they were better settled Clarke was the leader they needed, he knew that.
“So,” Octavia said as she walked next to Clarke, “I’m impressed.”
“With what?” Clarke asked, her jaw still clenched and her eyes fixed forwards.
“You didn’t shoot her.” The other girl replied, sure she could see the corners of Clarke’s mouth turn up a little, “I’d have shot her.”
“No you wouldn’t Grounder girl.” Clarke said, “We both know that.”
“Well, maybe not, but I’m still impressed with the way you handled it,” she said, “all that pent up anger and aggression that you have towards her, surely she deserved a little more than what you gave her.”
“She’s right,” Clarke admitted, “we do need to work together on this. Maybe if we work with them on this, she’ll agree to us moving our fences a little further, extending the land we have. We need more space, they need our help. We have to work with her, I don’t have to like her.”
“We’ll see if you’re still being this calm about it later.” Octavia replied, dropping back a little to walk with Lincoln as they were approaching the gates.
“Open the gates.” Clarke said when they got close enough.
Even though the guards were a little wary of the Commander and the mountain of a man at her side, they did as Clarke asked and opened the gates. Abby walked out of the medical area as she heard mumbling around the camp.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Abby asked.
“She has some information that we need,” Clarke replied, not stopping to talk to her mother, “someone get Raven and Kane and send them to the meeting room.”
“Clarke,” Abby said, “are you sure this is a good idea.”
“When I know more, I’ll let you know,” the blonde said, “right now this is the only choice we have.”
As she walked through the doors to the Ark, Clarke dropped her hood. Octavia noticed the small intake of breath from Lexa as she finally saw the blonde girl’s hair and the intricate braids.
“You should see her with the war-paint on Heda…” Octavia said quietly before catching back up to Lincoln.
Lexa just took a deep breath and followed the group through to the meeting room. When they got there Raven and Kane were already there.
“Oh hell no.” Raven said as soon as she saw Lexa, “not again.”
“Raven, sit,” Clarke said, as she took her place at the table, “she has some information we need, right now that’s all this is.”
“Until she wants to kill some more of our people,” Raven said as she sat next to Clarke, “and, oh, maybe back out of an agreement that nearly gets us all killed. Sound about right to you, Commander?”
Clarke inwardly flinched at the way Raven practically spat out the word Commander.
“I’m not asking you to trust her,” Clarke said, as everyone else sat down, Lexa sitting opposite her, “I’m not asking any of you to trust her. I know how much that is to ask. All I am asking is that you trust me, trust that I will do what is best for us.”
Raven nodded a little, the look on her face letting everyone know that she wasn’t happy with this at all.
“Do you trust her Clarke?” Bellamy asked, already knowing the answer.
“I wouldn’t ask my people to do something that I do not, Bellamy, you know that.” Clarke replied as she looked at Lexa.
The Commander’s face remained emotionless, as it always did, but Clarke could see the conflict in those eyes. She could always read Lexa, that hadn’t changed. She was sure she could see Lexa swallow as their eyes remained locked.
“So…” Octavia said, breaking the silence that had now settled over the room, “Jaha’s coming back and he has a big ass bomb somewhere.”
“How big ass are we talking about?” Raven asked, looking between Octavia and Clarke.
“Commander…” Clarke said, opening up the table for Lexa.
“The information that I have states the bomb is in three parts,” Lexa said, her voice calm and steady as it should be, her emotions still locked away as she intended to keep them, “from what the Chancellor said earlier, the chances are that it is a nuclear warhead, which is what I had suspected…”
“How the hell did he get his hands on a nuke?” Raven asked, “And why are we only finding out about this now?”
“I think that’s what he used to get down to the surface from the Ark… Kane, were there nuclear weapons on the part of the Ark that remained in space?” Clarke asked, knowing that information would’ve been kept from the general population.
“Yes,” Kane replied, “each section of the Ark, before they were joined, had its own nuclear warhead.”
“Why would you do something like that?” Raven asked, still outraged by the bomb situation, “I mean, are we forgetting that’s what fucked up the planet in the first place?”
“It wasn’t a choice that any of us had a say in Raven,” he said, “it was a decision that was made when the different sections of the Ark were launched, well before any of us were born. It was believed that, one day, when the pieces of the Ark returned to Earth, that the weapons could be used as a safeguard.”
“Because that worked out so well last time…” Bellamy muttered.
“All but one of the warheads were floated when the Ark joined,” Kane explained, “the last one was kept in case it was needed to propel the Ark away from the Earth, if there was some kind of natural disaster.”
“Nuclear energy being more powerful than the thrusters that we had on the Ark…” Raven said with a nod.
“I would have expected more from educated people.” Lexa said, “As Raven has said more than once, nuclear weapons are what nearly destroyed our people, and our planet, before. Why keep one at all, the risk is too great.”
“We needed to use all the resources we had at hand Commander,” Kane said to her, “not something that I agreed with, but a full council agreement was needed to float the final warhead, an agreement we couldn’t reach.”
She nodded her head a little, letting him know that she understood his point.
“You said it was in three parts…” Raven said, getting back to the reason Lexa was there.
“Yes,” Lexa replied, “the Chancellor said that as bombs are more your area, it would be better to explain it to you.”
“Bombs, electronics, technology of any kind,” Raven said, “this place wouldn’t survive without me.”
“Modest as always Reyes…” Octavia said with a laugh.
“Just being honest Grounder Girl.” Raven replied, “okay, three parts, which would mean that it had been separated, the trigger from the uranium and the uranium from the accelerant.”
Everyone around the table looked at her with a blank expression, she had expected it from Lexa and her man mountain, but not from Clarke and the others. The only person who wasn’t looking at her was Clarke herself, Raven was pretty sure that the blonde hadn’t looked away from the Commander since they sat at the table. Lexa wasn’t stupid, she would know she was being watched. Raven was impressed with Clarke keeping her cool, there had been many a night when they’d been drinking together that Clarke had said she wouldn’t mind putting a bullet in the Grounder Commanders brain. Raven knew it was only talk, she knew how much Lexa’s betrayal had hurt her.
“Okay, which part are we not understanding?” Raven asked.
“What’s uranium?” Lexa asked.
It seemed like a pretty obvious question to everyone else.
“Nuclear energy, the chemical used is called uranium.” Raven said, “it’s what was used in nuclear power plants here on Earth many years ago, if you refine that, clean it up a little and mix the chemical composition slightly, you get enriched uranium, you get a big ass bomb.”
“So you put that together with the trigger and the accelerant and it makes the bomb?” Kassius asked.
“Gold star to the man mountain.” Raven replied, “It won’t work unless all three parts are put together.”
“Would you be able to dismantle it again once it had been put back together?” Lexa asked.
“Me personally, or someone else?” Raven asked, “cause I’m good, but I don’t know if I’m that good.”
“If you can build a bomb, surely you know how to take one apart again.” Clarke said, looking over at her.
“Nuclear bombs and regular bombs are slightly different,” Raven explained, “nuclear bombs usually have a timer, which may be a problem with this one due to its age. Whatever is used to power the timer may have degraded over time. I mean, they can be set off without a timer, or a new timer can be fitted if you know what you’re doing…”
“So that’s a no then…” Lexa said with a sigh.
“It’s an ‘I need to see what I’m dealing with before I can tell you if I can dismantle it’, Commander.” Raven answered, “But to dismantle it I would need to remove the timer first, before going in and cutting the wires… this shit was created 100’s of years before I was born, they didn’t teach me about this on the Ark. I’d be flying by the seat of my pants.”
“I’m confused…” Lexa said, “Flying by the seat of your pants…?”
“Yeah, going on instinct, doing something without really knowing what the outcome would be,” Raven said, “don’t your people have a saying for that?”
“Stupidity.” Lexa replied.
“What would Jaha want with the bomb?” Clarke asked, thinking out loud, “and why didn’t he tell us that’s what he used to get here…”
“He’s a madman.” Octavia replied, “Didn’t you see his face when he was talking about the City of Light.”
“The City of Light…?” Lexa asked, “Is that where he wanted to take you all?”
“You know what it is?” Clarke asked.
“It’s a solar panelled field…” Lexa replied, “Nothing more. The energy is used to power a city nearby, but no one has lived there for years.”
“You know what a solar panel is, but you don’t know the saying ‘flying by the seat of my pants’…” Raven said.
“My people have power in our capitol city Raven,” Lexa replied, “we are not completely stupid.”
“So,” Clarke said, fighting to keep the smile off her face at Lexa’s quick comeback line, “we know he has the bomb, we know it’s beyond the City of Light… why would he have it there if no one has lived in that city for years?”
“There is a story amongst my people that a lifeless being has taken up residence in the city beyond the City of Light… A… I’m not sure what the English word for it is…” Lexa said, obviously thinking, as she furrowed her brow as she looked down at the table.
“A lifeless being?” Octavia asked.
“Yes,” Lexa replied, “a consciousness which does not live and breathe as we do.”
“An A.I.” Raven said, “An artificial intelligence, or it could be a V.I…”
“What’s the difference?” Octavia asked.
“An A.I can think independently, a V.I has to be programmed.” Raven said, Clarke could see her eyes lighting up as she thought about it, “I’ve read about them, but have never seen one. They are literally like the one thing that humanity feared could wipe them out, you know before all the bombs and the war and shit. They don’t need to be told what to think, they have their own thought process, they don’t need natural resources, but they do need a power source, which is probably why this one has chosen that city. Unless it was created there, and wiped out everyone who lived there…”
“Raven…” Clarke said, “Breathe.”
“Sorry,” Raven said, “my inner geek came out a little there.”
“A little?” Octavia asked with a laugh.
“Oh shut up.” Raven replied shooting Octavia a look.
“Is there any way to kill it?” Lexa asked.
“You can’t kill it,” Raven said, “it’s not really alive, not in the sense that we are. Though if you define something as alive when it has independent thought, then it’s very much alive…”
“And if it has the bomb…” Clarke asked.
“Then we’re all screwed.” Raven said honestly, “but it wouldn’t be able to put the bomb together by itself, as it has no solid form, it would need someone else to do that…”
“Jaha…” Kassius said.
“That man couldn’t even put together a jigsaw puzzle…” Raven laughed.
“He’s crazy enough to try…” Octavia replied, “What if that’s why he’s coming back here, so you can tell him how to do it.”
“What I don’t understand is, why would this A.I want the bomb,” Lexa said, “What does it stand to gain by wiping out humanity.”
“Maybe it wants to start over,” Kane replied, “I remember reading a book on the Ark about an A.I who selected the best and the brightest humanity had to offer and then killed the rest. Those people selected were used to create the new perfect human race.”
“Humanity is not supposed to be perfect.” Lexa stated, “We are what we are.”
“So we are going have to wait for Jaha to get here to find out what he wants…” Clarke said looking at Lexa, “unless your people pick him up first…”
Lexa nodded a little, obviously thinking through a plan.
“We can pick him up and take him to Polis,” Lexa said, “he hasn’t yet reached the city from what I understand from the scout reports.”
“Once you pick him up, then what?” Bellamy asked, “He isn’t going to talk to you if he’s coming here, he’ll want to talk to us.”
“What if we go to Polis…” Octavia replied, looking to Clarke.
“I’m not crazy about that idea O.” Bellamy said, looking between his sister and Lexa, “that means that we have to trust that she wouldn’t have us killed the minute we get there.”
“It’s nothing more than we asked of her…” Clarke said, “I need to think about it.”
“If that is the plan that is decided then I would need reassurances.” Lexa said, looking at Clarke.
“Like?” Clarke asked, her eyes snapping up from the table, meeting the green eyes which looked back at her.
“He would need to be contained while he’s there.” Lexa replied, “I am not having a crazy man running around my city. There are families there, children…”
“Okay…” Clarke said, “So you lock him up. I have a few terms of my own.”
“Name them.” Lexa said, noticing the softness returning to Clarke’s eyes.
“My people will be free to come and go as they please.” She said, “They will not be under guard and they will in no way be harmed…”
Lexa nodded, before Clarke continued.
“They will not answer to you,” Clarke said, “they are answerable only to me.”
“You will be there are my guest, Clarke,” Lexa replied, “not my prisoner. You will be there as the leader of your people.”
The others around the table all looked down as they picked up the little slip of Lexa using Clarke’s name for the first time.
“I’m going to need some time to think about it,” Clarke said, “I will have an answer for you tomorrow. You and Kassius are welcome to remain here until then if you choose to.”
“I think Indra will send out a search party if I do not return to Tondc by nightfall.” Lexa said with a small smile, “but I will return in the morning.”
“Okay,” Clarke said with a slight nod, “meeting adjourned until tomorrow morning.”
Everyone stood up, apart from Clarke who remained seated. Bellamy could see the conflict in her eyes.
“Clarke…” he said quietly, as the room had not yet emptied, “you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She replied.
Bellamy noticed that Lexa hadn’t made a move to leave either.
“Right…” he said, as he walked towards the door.
Raven, Octavia and Kane followed him, leaving Clarke alone with Lexa and Kassius.
“Kassius,” Clarke said, not looking up, “can you give us a moment please?”
He looked at Lexa who nodded, indicating it was okay for him to leave, before he followed the rest of them out of the room, the door closing behind him. Instead of remaining standing Lexa sat back down at the table opposite Clarke.
“How is this going to work…” Clarke said quietly, the mask she had been wearing the entire morning finally breaking, “I can’t trust you…”
“I understand that I hurt you Clarke…” Lexa replied.
“No you don’t.” Clarke said, finally snapping, “if you understood that, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be anywhere near here.”
“I had no choice but to make the decision I did,” Lexa continued, “my people come first. I had the chance to get my people out of the mountain, I had the guarantee of no further attacks against my people, a guarantee that I knew I wouldn’t need, because I knew you wouldn’t fail.”
“I killed people Lexa,” Clarke said, “a lot of people. Innocent people. Children. I killed fucking children Lexa, because you turned your back and walked away. You left us there to die.”
“No,” Lexa replied, “I left you there to live.”
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The shouting from inside the room had drawn the attention of a lot of people outside the doors. Everyone having seen the changes that Clarke had been through since that night on the mountain, they had all witnessed the damage that had been caused. No one got to close to the door though, they couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, as Kassius was standing in front of the door itself. He knew that, to move forward with this plan, to save both sets of people, the two young women in that room needed this.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
“Why were you watching the camp last night?” Clarke asked, standing up and starting to pace, as she asked all the questions which were floating around her head, “I get that this is still your land, but these are not your people. Was it the first time, or have there been other times when I haven’t noticed? You said that you know I haven’t been sleeping, how could you know that?”
“Other than the fact that I can see it in your eyes, Clarke,” Lexa replied calmly, “I was worried about you. Worried that I had placed too much on your shoulders and you couldn’t handle it. So yes, I was there last night, I have been there before… Why, I don’t know. For the last month, I have been having issues sleeping myself, because of what I did to you. As a leader I had no choice, as a leader I made the decision I had to make. As a person… I… if I could’ve made another decision, Clarke, if I could’ve chosen differently, please believe me when I say I would have.”
“You could have,” Clarke said, looking at her, “you could’ve chosen differently.”
“No,” Lexa replied shaking her head a little, “I couldn’t. I cannot make choices that do not benefit my people, no matter what I want for myself. And by the time I had returned to the mountain that night you were gone, your people were gone.”
“You… you went back?” Clarke asked.
Lexa closed her eyes and dropped her head a little, she hadn’t meant to say that.
“I handpicked a team of warriors, a team which I then lead back to the mountain,” Lexa admitted, “but I was too late…”
“Why would you do that?” Clarke asked, “you had already left, you had made your choice Lexa…”
“Because it wasn’t my choice,” Lexa said with a small smile and a little shrug as she stood up, “leaving wasn’t my choice, it was my duty. There is a difference.”
Clarke stood, resting both her hands on the table as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as the anger which was bubbling up inside her wasn’t something that she wanted to release.
“You always have a choice Lexa.” She said.
“You may always have a choice Clarke,” Lexa replied, “but I do not… This is who I am, it’s what I am. I can be nothing more than a leader to my people, that is the life I lead, the life I was born to lead. Nothing can ever change that… no matter how much I want it to…”
Those last few words were said so quietly that Clarke almost missed them, she looked up at Lexa, she could see the emotions in her eyes, everything was right there for Clarke to see, as it always was.
“I will see you in the morning Chancellor…” Lexa said with a slight nod, as she turned and walked from the room.