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He knew when he entered the cathedral something was amiss.
The night was no different from any other, but as soon as he set foot on the eerie grounds of what had once been a sacred place, his nerves stood on end. He felt as if something evil lurked inside, in wait for a foolish, naive man like him to enter.
But Lorenz steeled his nerves and took a deep breath. He was not naive for one, and he was way past being scared by ghost stories and the dark. Besides, his concerns may well stir from his comrades in arms' comments at dinner.
Don't go there at night if you know what's good for you.
He won't listen, and you'll be left talking to yourself at best, or fearing for your life at worst.
It's dangerous, don't go up there.
But he believed said concerns were unfounded, Dimitri, for the short time he had known the prince back in his days at the Academy. Had been an admirable and benevolent leader. Popular not only amongst his peers but also with the staff who appreciated his good disposition to help.
Gallant, chivalrous, and not only well mannered but kind. Those were the attributes he looked up in a person, in someone he wished to follow as his superior (at least while attending classes at the academy.) And the sole reason as to why Lorenz had defected from the deer and exchanged classes not too long after the beginning of the semester.
And yes, he knows. He knows what some of his peers think about him, the whispers of doubt that swivel around their minds because Lorenz, this familiar stranger among them; had refused to come for their promised class reunion on the Millennium festival. And not only that, but he also had - in the end - met them all at the bridge of Myrddin as enemies. But can Lorenz be blamed for such outcomes? When the most recent news he had regarding Fearghus at the time - and by extension Dimitri - were that the prince was dead, executed under the pretenses of treason.
When such gruesome news reached Alliance territory, Lorenz could hardly believe their veracity. Clutching his heart tight with one hand and the offensive letter in the other inside the dark privacy of his quarters. He did not cry, because he chose to believe the rumors were false. But for sure his hope of ever seeing his friends from the Blue Lions' again dwindled the more time passed without news of their lost leader. And during such trying times, Lorenz's time was spent in futile wait and tiresome yet important administrative work at the Alliance and in his father's estate.
Though one's heart can only hold hope for so long with a war on his way to reach you and your lands in the process of being invaded by a tyrant emperor, set on adding Gloucester to her ever-growing list of allies in Alliance territory. As such, and with a heavy conscience, Lorenz had lost his faith in Dimitri's survival the longest he spent without knowing anything new about his whereabouts or a possible miraculous escape. Going back to an empty and bandit ridden Garech Mach under such circumstances did not inspire Lorenz to take such a risk and endanger summoning his father's ire against him. So he stayed behind and played his part as next heir of Gloucester, as the perfect noble son. And heeded his father's orders without question. Choosing to siege the bridge of Myrddin for the Empire per Count Gloucester's request.
But seeing his former teacher tear through the battlefield, followed by a war thorn Dimitri in tow; reignited the lost hope and faith upon Lorenz's heart, and it was the push he needed to betray his Empire retinue and join the Kingdom's ranks, tearing through soldiers and demonic beasts alike to ensure Byleth and Dimitri's success.
He did not see nor speak to Dimitri himself, but his professor welcomed him with open arms and a gentle smile on his face that - to Lorenz's perspective - bordered on relief. It seems he wasn't all too excited at the prospect of ending one of his students' lives. And that's all Lorenz needed to know he had done the right thing. He could not go back to Gloucester anymore, not with the size of his betrayal hanging over his head. He could see it clearly. The disappointment and rage dancing like flames behind his father's eyes. The disillusion and sorrow settled in his mother's usually soft features. How many times had mother counseled Lorenz that he better do as father says, no matter what?
But this is not about keeping his father's temper mild and pleased. This is about his future, their future. And father's way was not the right path to follow this time.
It wasn't long after that happened that he received a letter from Count Gloucester, denouncing him a traitor and menacing Lorenz with disowning him shall he continue with such nonsense. But Lorenz has - to this day - yet to back down on his decision. And his letter to father denouncing such convictions, has failed to yield him a response just yet. Under such grim circumstances he believed he should stop calling himself heir of Gloucester anymore.
He knows Dimitri probably doesn't trust him, as much as he knows how much the other man has changed. But he wants to rectify that. He wants to change Dimitri's opinion of him, reach out to their King. His king now, and swear his loyalty to him in person. Demonstrate he is nothing if not compromised with the cause and their goal. He wants to belong to something again and feel useful! Make his years of studying politics and trade and etiquette be worth something again, now that he was basically no one in the eyes nobility.
Dispelling such grim thoughts, Lorenz advanced amidst the darkness and the faint mist covering the humid and decrepit ground. He had no idea how a man, let alone a royal such as Dimitri could withstand such precarious conditions, but he supposed he had no place to argue. He was no one to question a future King's preferences. Let alone one who had clearly suffered so much during this war.
He came to a stop near the altar where he sometimes saw Marianne and Mercedes together in prayer. However they never spoke to each other, endorsed as they were in their faithful praise for their goddess. Lorenz had never been a man of faith himself, but he must admit seeing such a memory-ridden place fall to decay and disrepair managed to ground him to the point of offering a small prayer to his goddess in memoriam of those he lost to the war.
He doesn't expect the voice that surges from the darkness.
"I wouldn't bother if I were you. The goddess has abandoned us all. She won't listen."
Lorenz's heart leaps to his throat and he stumbles a few paces back, almost tripping with a bunch of debris on the way. He realizes it's Dimitri though, and he clears his throat. However, that does little to dispel how his voice shakes in alarm.
"Ah! Your highness. What a fortune finding you here tonight! I was hoping I could perhaps request an audience with you? If you wouldn't mind that is…"
He trails off, feeling suddenly inadequate; the atmosphere has turned oppressive in the blink of an eye and he can feel his lungs constricting against a phantom pressure inside his chest. He feels as if he should better turn tail and run, but why? It's just Dimitri!
Isn't it?
He sees a foreboding crimson light appear in the darkness ahead, and Lorenz's breath catches in his throat when he notices it's not the reflection of the moon on some sort of decoration, but a single soulless eye looking at him from the depths of the shadows.
The eye of a predator. His mind supplies.
"A-as I was saying. I would like to apologize for my late integration to your army, your Highness. I-I really wish I could've made it in time. But as you would know very well, my noble duty got in the way amidst the war. Hereby, I wish to inform you that as of now, I have decided to bestow unto you my deepest and unwavering loyalty to your future reign."
Lorenz bows to his waist in a hasty manner, hands shaking and heart racing inside his chest. One hand rests on his back and the other on his chest in the shape of a fist. Internally he berates himself for his lack of finesse, knowing he could have worded his intentions better. He knows the structure of his confession lacks polishing and eloquence.
But can he really be blamed when that unsettling eye - foreboding and ominous like a burning piece of coal - narrowed in the middle of his speech, completely stripping him of his confidence and carefully crafted phrasing? He thinks not. And despite his personal berating, he pushes through, forcing his traitorous body to stand still while he observes from his lowered position how Dimitri's - quite honestly - hulking form appears briefly from among the shadows to assess him with his cold empty eye. Looking, if anything, mildly annoyed.
He supposes he did the best he could under such circumstances. And despite his obvious flounder, he'll remain positive and believe Dimitri might be merciful with his critique and assessment of his new recruit.
In the blink of an eye though, Lorenz's previous notions about the situation are destroyed in the blink of an eye when he is grabbed by the neck and lifted from the ground. A heavy armored hand squeezing his throat and taking all the air from within in a brutal instant. He gasps and rasps for breath, desperately seeking purchase against such an unwarranted attack come from nowhere. He scratches at Dimitri's hand, only succeeding in having his own fingers slip and scratch uselessly against the rough material of his armor.
Dimitri observes his prey with monotone apathy, analyzing the ways in which Lorenz's face contorts in desperation and fear. How his eyes gather tears and his face changes colors due the lack of precious oxigen. How saliva pools around Lorenz's frothing mouth as his throat produces the most horrifying choking sounds known to men.
He supposes all humans are the same at the end of things. Creatures made of flesh and brittle bones, creatures who may preach the most beautiful and idyllic things, boast themselves as pure and unmarred; nobility they call it. But when all of that it's stripped from them, they are all nothing but vermin trying to survive with lies and postures. They might believe themselves to be the most beautiful birds, with unique feathers and voices of gold. But they are all filthy and screeching rats.
Rats which can be easily crushed by Dimitri's own hands.
"Liar." Dimitri says with the deepest and most merciless voice Lorenz has ever heard come from the once kind man. "I know you lie, Gloucester. I saw you with the enemy." He frowns and tightens his grip even more, his might unwavering in the face of a dying life.
Lorenz kicked at his assailant and forced himself to move his head a bit, side to side. Shaking in denial of such horrid accusations, Dimitri doesn't budge.
"You're her toy. Her puppet. You're tainted."
Lorenz's vision starts to grow blurry at the edges, and he has one shot to change Dimitri's impression of him. Now he knows why people warned him not to come at all. Dimitri truly has gone insane!
"N-no" he barely manages to rasp with a croaking abused voice. But somehow, his words are heard by this beast in front of him. This beast with the dead red eye.
"No, you say? And how can I trust you? You , who could very well be her spy?!"
The pressure intensifies, and Lorenz lets out a muffled cry as not only air is restricted from him, but he feels his neck start to give under the pressure. Will this be how he dies?
All at once and without explanation, the constriction eases and the fingers let loose. Lorenz falls to the ground akin to a puppet cut off from its strings and the young man massages his windpipe in a terrible mix of relief and horror. Coughing and tearing up over the floor, he realizes he has no energy to lift himself up and run away from this monster at present. But at least he can look as non-threatening as possible until he finds a way to escape.
"You disgust me. I should dispose of you right this instant." Begins Dimitri once more. And he lifts an armored foot which he settles heavily over Lorenz's back. The poor thing is still trying to catch his breath on the floor quite like a flailing fish out of water as he easily flattens him to the ground. Pathetic .
"But, you see. The boy over there. He begs me not to do it."
Lorenz's blood turns to ice right at that moment. What boy? What is he talking about? Is someone else here?! Can somebody help him? Though his mind comes back to the present situation when Dimitri puts more of his weight on his foot. Successfully pinning Lorenz quite like a flailing insect to the floor.
"He wishes me to spare you, apparently. How pitiful. How much he craves revenge, yet he cowers at the prospect of killing a… " classmate" . Is it?"
He sounds like it's the first time he hears the word. And Lorenz has no idea what it's going on inside Dimitri's head right now. Because it's evident they are alone in this goddess forsaken place! But all he knows is that whatever it is, it can't be good for him. He had heard the rumors of Dimitri's unnatural state of mind, how he would act like a monster lurking in the shadows. How Felix swore he had become what he always was.
A beast.
He thought they exaggerated, that Dimitri was probably under much stress because of the war. The same as Claude had been during the first years of conflict before Lorenz was sent away from Deirdru per his father's designs.
Lorenz had joined Dimitri's army recently though, and his ignorance of the situation was not only painful but obvious. He should have listened, should have believed what they said! Now their army would be short on one man come the morning.
"He begs I give you a chance. Hmm… I wonder?"
The foot eases its pressure but does not abate. It changes tactics and kicks Lorenz on the side, successfully turning him around. Head resting on the cold humid ground and body limp under the unyielding manhandling of Dimitri.
"You pledged your loyalty to me, did you not?" He scoffed. "Very well. Show me you're sincere. Demonstrate your wish to atone for working under that wretched woman's banner."
Lorenz's head stops spinning enough to understand that this is his opportunity for an escape if he is to have any. And if it is, he will make the most out of it. Previous plans be damned! He wants to remain alive!
" Anything" His raspy voice makes Lorenz cringe, but he supposes he should be glad he still has a voice at all. Dimitri looks down at Lorenz with renewed interest after such a heartfelt admission. And it results so alien to the man he believes Lorenz to have gone mad.
" Anything , you say?" How peculiar.
As Lorenz concentrates on breathing and getting his bearings together, he swears he can hear Dimitri muttering to himself, softly reassuring some other being he can only perceive, that he would 'not kill him yet' . At that point Lorenz feels his tears form anew, and he prays with renewed vigor for the Goddess to listen and save him. At this point, he thinks anyone is bound to become a believer.
The hulking form of Dimitri comes closer, and Lorenz realizes it's because he's kneeling on one knee beside his current battered form. The blond reaches out a hand and - flinching from anticipation - Lorenz can do little else but whine in fear once he sees that it comes after his face.
However, all it does is press against his cheek softly but not gently.
It's as if a stone was laid against it.
Dimitri's other hand reaches out now. Lorenz it's so close to breaking down in tears, but he doesn't, lest he bothers the insane king and forces him to snap his neck for good this time. No matter how weak or terrified he is, he won't let himself cower in fear to the point of tears.
This other hand stops near his splayed curtain of hair on the ground and grabs a strand of it, seeing it slip like water through his armored fingers in morbid fascination.
Whatever has possessed Dimitri to attack Lorenz, seems placated for now as he clinically examines Lorenz face. Hair and even his clothes. There's no perversion behind his eyes nor curiosity. Lorenz doesn't know what he's looking for, but he prays whatever he finds at the end, is enough to spare Lorenz's life.
"He's pretty, no doubt. Delicate and soft like a doll." Dimitri scoffs "Better suited to the comforts of a noble life. Not a battlefield."
The former heir of Gloucester winces and closes his eyes. Dimitri's words have hit close to home, right on his insecurities and discomforts. A noble life he says. Like the one he won't be having back any time soon.
Was it really worth it? When this was the outcome of such a decision. Would father have him back? Would Claude?
Dimitri snaps his head as if someone has spoken to him from the very darkness beyond his gaze. But that's crazy. There's nothing here besides them and perhaps the rats littering these parts of the monastery. Nobody was as foolish as Lorenz to come here at night. They are alone, utterly alone.
The problem is, Lorenz can't see what Dimitri sees, or hear what he hears.
The mad king sees a man; young, blond and sporting a uniform so familiar it brings a spark of nostalgia to his frozen heart. The young man looks at the Beast with the most devastated blue eyes he's ever seen. Mouthing silent words only he can hear and make sense of.
He's asking him for forgiveness, for salvation. He doesn't want to see this soldier… this former classmate of his , to meet the same end many have met at the mad king's hands. The Beast looks back at the fallen body before him with indifference but rapt attention. He may not be that young prince anymore, but he owes his old self's wishes respect. He existed before the Beast did. And he had the right to decide what to do with those he considered to be his former friends.
But this man, however, was no friend of the Beast. He was a traitor, a worm who crawled his way to Edelgard's feet and fought for her.
He deserved death.
" Please, I beg you. Have mercy." Claimed the boy who used to be himself. But the Beast narrowed his eyes in disagreement.
"He will go back to her and tell her about us and about our plans. No, kid. He must perish here and now."
And Lorenz may not know the whole spiel of the conversation, but he hears the Beast's side of it and he trembles.
'Perish? Dimitri wants to kill him after all?' Desperation grabs at Lorenz's heart and he starts fighting the beast's hold on him.
"He won't! He told you he will be loyal to me! To us! I know him, he's nothing if not a man of his word!"
"Many honorable men have turned traitors in the past, kid. Even those we trusted most." He snarls. "I won't let this doll get a chance" his hands go back to grab Lorenz's neck. But before he can squeeze and choke and be done for the day. Dimitri speaks again.
"What if I told you he was special to me? One of my best friends?"
"He's not your friend. I know you, Dimitri. like the palm of our hand. This man means nothing to you."
Beneath him, Lorenz forgets about his promise and lets his tears fall in silence, his desperation showing through his broken whimpers in the night. Dimitri's hands press against his throat with a vengeance but their final sentence is put on hold as Dimitri is arguing against… himself? What nonsense is this?!
" He does, he means something! His life means something! That's why I don't want you to kill him!"
The Beast's hands stall, grip firm and immovable like stone. His eyes do not leave Lorenz's for a second, but he continues his conversation with Dimitri all the same.
"What does this man mean to you, then? Dimitri?"
"Please, don't kill him. Please."
A tear falls from the Beast's eye, hitting Lorenz on the face. The monster looks at the liquid with mild curiosity, one of his hands relinquishes its deathly grip to catch a droplet from his eye before it falls.
"This much, then?"
"Please."
I won't let a former friend die at your hands, never again.
"Very well." he grunts in frustration. But acknowledges that his past self has won. From the corner of his eye, he sees Dimitri - who he used to be before madness claimed him - Sigh in relief and bow to him out of gratitude.
He feels uncomfortable, but there's little he can do about it past reminding himself he is not that bright eyed, dumb kid anymore.
With a powerful grip and inhuman strength. Dimitri grabs Lorenz by the front of his shirt, crumpling the fabric in his large hand as he single-handedly lifts the other to a sitting position on the ground. As exhausted and hurt as he is, Lorenz does not fight it. He lets himself be handled by his attacker, cradled by an arm on his back and another at his front to prevent his body from swaying.
He's so tired.
"He's so pathetic. It's a wonder either of you wish to keep him by your side." Grumbles the blond as he accommodates Lorenz's body further to better fit his intended grip. Now holding him across his lap, the poor thing looking at his eyes with his own filled with confusion and fear.
"Dimitri…" Lorenz pleads in a wispy voice - barely there to be heard - But the Beast does and he shakes his head.
"No. Not, Dimitri ."
"What?"
"He's dead. His ghost haunts me just as his other phantoms haunted him. But he wishes for you to live."
"Dimitri? What…?" He stops to take a shaky and difficult breath before he continues, puzzlement evident on his face. "B-but you are…"
Dimitri does not look at him though, this monster, whatever he is; who currently pretends to be the future King of Faerghus, sets his eye behind Lorenz. To a place where only his haunted blue gaze can discern a familiar long lost shape. His old self - Prince Dimitri - awaiting his verdict. His face holds a deep melancholy and regret painted with the glowing moonlight. He doesn't know what his monstrous self is planning to do. But whatever it is, he knows it will, at least, spare Lorenz's life.
He truly does not want to see Lorenz die. Doesn't want to see anyone else die for that matter.
This, sadly, it's for the better.
The Beast King regards his counterpart with vicious attention, awaiting a change in mind from what the kid had requested before. But aside from his solemn facade, there's no hesitation in his eyes. Dimitri nods to the Beast, bestowing his permission to proceed. And the monster finally turns his attention back to Lorenz, Dimitri temporarily gone with the moonlight.
Lorenz it's now still in his grip, out of fear or passed out. He does not know and does not care. But he feels compelled to guide the young man - this mortal man - through the process, conscious or not.
"No. The Dimitri you knew is gone. Out of reach. I'm all that remains."
Amethyst orbs opek at the sound of his voice and instantly go wide in disbelief, studying Dimitri… no. The Beast's face as if this is the first time he's seen it. And perhaps that's true. Finally realizing this man holding him it's no known friend, but a dangerous creature. A stranger.
"Who are you, then?"
A tilt of the head, a soft hum. Yet his face does not betray his emotions, if he holds any at present.
"I believe one of your own took the liberty of naming me already. Boar he says when he sees me."
'Felix!' There's no mistaking it. The heir of Fraldarious has called Dimitri that for as Long as Lorenz has known them. But… just, for how long has this thing been usurping Dimitri's body, then?
"H-he also calls you mad. T-the others… t-they say you have lost your mind. That you are beyond salvation. And yet here you are talking to me like… like a normal person."
The Beast growls and tightens his grip. Displeased by his choice of words.
"My insanity keeps them away. Good to know. It's what the kid wants. He wants them to live and be none the wiser of the horrible truth plaguing his body. Our body! Of what has become of him, of us."
'He must be talking about himself and about Dimitri. The two as one, sharing a life… and a body.
"But enough talk."
Lorenz is hoisted higher, his back almost straight as it rests its weight on Dimitri's arm. The man moved the Gloucester cavalier in a way in which his head was being held in place by Dimitri's massive hand from behind. Thick calloused fingers clutching at his hair.
"W-what?" It comes out weaker than intended. And Lorenz realizes how drained he feels, flight and fight no longer options for someone as exhausted as him.
"Stay still, and try not to scream too much."
All Lorenz can do is widen his eyes at the Boar . Seeing with trepidation and primal fear how the blond monster opens his mouth wide and forth come two pairs of sharp fangs, curved like those of a snake, yet resembling more the teeth of beasts usually found in places like Bridgit. Felines so big Lorenz would never dare make the insensitive comparison between them and a house pet (again), seeing how they were sacred for Petra and her people. Dimitri's teeth look exactly like those of such feral beast's, gone are the pearly whites which smiled at other students in hallways or in casual greetings. Gone forever like the Boar admitted Dimitri was.
It all happens in a second.
He attempts to scream and yell for help, yet Dimitri's maw descends upon his neck so quickly he can only gasp in silent horror as his fangs puncture the skin between his neck and shoulder. Warm crimson liquid emanating from the wound in thick rivers.
Dimitri's lips separate for a second from his morbid work, and he instead whispers against Lorenz's injury as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"The flow it's too intense right now. You can't drink from a person like this, lest you wish to drown on it. It's not a pleasant experience."
Why is Dimitri telling him this! Why take it so casually? As if he somehow believed Lorenz would need any of this in the future for himself!
Lorenz's hand goes to the wound, pretending to cease the flow and cut Dimitri's access to it. But he's too weak. Too weak now, and the Beast just bats his hand away effortlessly. Letting it fall to the side with a pitiful thud.
The flow has receded because Lorenz's body has lost most of his crimson blood to the wound. He feels his arms go numb and his eyes start to close, fatigue overwhelming him.
Perhaps the Boar lied. Perhaps he's going to kill him after all.
Father… Claude… will any of them ever forgive Lorenz? Remember him fondly despite his misdeeds and shortcomings?
Will either of them know how much he laments all of his past mistakes?
Dimitri leans back to the wound placing his open mouth to it. Sucking on his wound leaves a burning sensation behind it, that it starts to coat Lorenz's entire being from inside out. He feels his insides melt with heat and has difficulty breathing. His body breaks in a cold sweat that has his limbs trash and seek for release. He needs to keep Dimitri away from him.
"If you wish them to die, you drink it all. But if you wish to keep them living…"
A warm and slimy tongue licks Lorenz's wound close, and it's all it takes for him to shiver and pass out in disgust and terror.
"You leave behind a pinch, swirling inside with the venom of the Beast."
Dimitri regards the unconscious body in his arms, contemplating what to do with it until he wakes up. Perhaps hiding it would be best.
"Now you share my curse. And shall forever be bonded to me, my loyal retainer."
A white glow of moonlight glimmers by the corner of his eye, and the Beast turns to look directly at it. It's Dimitri. The spineless boy has come back after the deed was done. Face paler than the white light of the moon as he takes in the bloody mess covering and surrounding the Boar and Lorenz.
He looks at his other self in disbelief and anguish.
'What have you done?!'
The Beast gets up, picking his trembling victim across his arms. He refuses to look at his other self back, but his words are for him nonetheless. Now, what matters it's finding a good hiding spot for his " retainer" .
"He wanted to serve us. You wanted him to live. And he shall live forevermore. Proving his loyalty to me."
'There was no need to share the curse! You could've only requested feeding from him! He… You! You made him into a monster! Just like you.'
The resentment and despair are palpable in Dimitri's voice. His wild eyes are as much testament of his displeasure as his cries of outrage. But it's all for naught. It's too late now. Dimitri should know this is as much his fault as his beastly self's
"No. Like us, Dima."
After that, he deposits Lorenz in the room where the statues of the Saints used to be, and that now barely anyone touched because of the huge amount of work it required. He knows that fixing the statues won't be the first priority of the army for a long time; therefore, nobody would visit them. Not even the pious ones.
The young man laid over the stone tile and debris still and quiet, sleeping quite profusely; the mere sight of his body reminded the Beast of a corpse. Lorenz's skin looked too pale, too wrong for a living man and felt cold to the touch. To anyone else, the cavalier could be mistaken for a dead man. But the Boar knew better, and he was aware that the young man would be waking up soon enough.
He only had to be attentive for that day. And keep anyone looking for him away from this room until then, just in case.
One last glance at the man's form was what the Beast did before choosing to leave his prey alone, no need to stagger any longer. As such, the monster of the cathedral made his way back to his usual spot by the atrium, looking ahead lost in his own thoughts. Still knowing that Dima (his old self) was beside him and looking at him with repulsion in his eyes.
The Beast could only smile.
"Just like us…"
He repeated like a mantra in sweet disbelief and reverence, sounding akin to a perverse prayer.
Perhaps in more ways than one, Dimitri had truly turned into a monster; and had thus, become a Beast needed to be slain.