Chapter Text
He is hiding in the bathroom, tucked tightly into a ball in the far corner, the furthest from the door he can be, the tears now free-flowing as the taunting of his peers bounced in his head back and forth, like they had thrown Porsche’s medal Chay brought for the school assignment.
Today is bring your hero day, everyone was so happy to be surrounded by their favorite people, a lot of his classmates decided to bring a family member as their chosen hero, a mixture of adults with different jobs and talents, some are doctors, other engineers, some others are musicians, a firefighter caught the attention of a bunch of his peers, and a police officer that arrived with her department-issued motorcycle was the overall favorite, some of his classmates asked her to let them sound the siren, a couple of the lucky ones got to climb on the motorcycle, as the officer held them.
All the kids had someone, all of them except Chay, he couldn’t bring his hero, Porsche was in class and even when his brother assured him that he could just skip it to go to the showing, Chay insisted that it wasn’t a good idea “Come on nong, is just for a couple of hours, nobody will notice I’m not there” his big bother said, arms stretched wide a toothy grin on his face that he got since he asked Chay who his hero was, and he answered with a shy “you hia”.
“N-no, your teacher will get mad at you, and Kru Ariya knows you, she will tell him, and you will be punished, I don’t want that hia,” Chay said with all the seriousness and worry his 8-year-old self could muster, which was admittedly a lot, or at least enough to convince Porsche to not do something that will get him in trouble, right now Chay wishes for his brother to be here, he is the strong one, the one with the skills, he can deal with the mean boys that made fun of him for not bringing someone, if Porsche were here then they would not have said what they said.
“Hey Chay, where’s your hero? I don’t see them anywhere” Tommy shouted at him, gaining the giggles from his posse, a handful of troublemakers that seemed to bounce around looking for victims, this time was Chay’s turn.
Normally he didn’t answer but today he felt brave with Porsche’s first place medal hanging heavy and shiny around his neck “He is in class Tommy, but he gave me this, my hia won first place in the state’s martial arts tournament, isn’t he cool?” Chay’s proud smile took over his face.
“Oh wow, he sure is, let me see it,” Tommy said as he got closer to Chay, they were outside the classroom, Chay had asked to go to the bathroom and was making his way back when Tommy and his gang approached him, Chay didn’t want to give the medal to him “I don’t think that’s a good idea, hia asked me to take care of it”
“Oh come on Chay don’t be selfish, let me see it, what will your hia say if he knows you are being rude,” Tommy said mockingly as he grabbed the medal and pulled on it, the force made Chay stumble forward and as he did so Tommy pushed his chest downwards making him fall, Chay looked from his place on the floor as his classmate studied the medal.
“Know what Chay, you are right, Porsche is cool, a shame his nong is so lame!!” He said as he started to move backward “Come on little Chay, if you want it back then you better try and catch it!” He shouted at Chay, he was surrounded, trapped in a twisted game of monkey in the middle, they laughed at him, called him names, “Where’s Porsche now little Chay!” One of them said, “I bet he doesn’t want people to know you are his brother”, another shouted, “Bet he wishes you don’t exist!".
“Stop please, j-just give me the m-medal” he cried he couldn’t help it, the words they said cut deep. “J-just gi-give m-m-me the m-medal” Tommy mocked him as all of them laughed, “you are so lame! Bet your parents died because they were ashamed of you!”, “Stop, please” Chay whispered, “what was that? I didn't hear you!, damn why are you so weak, I bet you are such a burden to Porsche!”, “SHUT UP!”Chay shouted at the top of his lungs he was panting, “Give back my hia’s medal, now!”
“Ah little Chay thinks he is tough, you are so funny, but you know what, you bore me…fine take it,” Tommy said as he threw the medal to the floor, Chay tried his best to catch it before it impacted with the hard surface, but he couldn’t stop the fall, he heard as the voices around him laughed some more, as he took the medal off the floor and inspected it, it was a little scratched on the border, he quickly got up with it tightly wrapped in his hands and ran as fast as he could to the bathroom, where he’s safe.
He hates how easy it is to make him cry, how they said some mean words and awful untrue things and in comes the waterworks, if anything they were right about one thing, he is weak, Porsche would never let anyone speak to either one of them like Tommy and his gang just did. If he was braver, bolder, more like Porsche, and less like himself then maybe he won’t be here, curled in a ball sitting on the dirty tile floors in the bathroom.
A knock at the door makes his sobs stop, he doesn’t even breathe afraid they will continue to torment him, “Porchay are you here honey?” Miss Ariya’s voice travels muffled through the door “Chay please come out of there, the only one left to speak to the class is you, come on Honey, there’s nothing to fear”
Oh but there is, Chay thinks, there is a lot to fear, he might stumble and fall in front of everyone, or fumble his words, he might forget what he’s saying in the middle of a sentence and everyone will laugh at him, in the morning he felt good about this, he put on his best uniform, he cleaned his shoes the night before, in the morning his hia accompanied him to the front of his school section, and gave him a big warm hug “you know I can always skip class right?” Porsche said giggling, “Hia” Chay exhaled, “Yeah I know, I know, sometimes I wonder who takes care of who…have a great day nong, promise to tell me all about it at home?”, right now Chay thinks he will not be telling this to his brother.
He gets up from the floor and opens the door slowly, miss Ariya’s face greets him, “Chay, nong what happened? Do you feel okay?” The sincerity in the worry on his teacher’s face breaks his resolve, so he tells his teacher everything, all they said and all they did, he ends up being cradled in her arms, it’s nice to be able to really on an adult once in a while, not that he would say that to Porsche, he does more than enough already, but his teacher has always been kind and sweet to all of them.
“Honey, you know that is not true, right? None of that is true. Chay, sometimes people say things without thinking about how it will affect others…that is not an excuse for them, they were wrong, and I’m going to talk with Tommy’s parents specifically to make sure it doesn’t happen again”
“No, no, it will only get worse and then Hia will find out, and he cannot know,” he says shaking, “Nong, I need to do something, that behavior is unacceptable, the way they treated you is wrong, and we need to change that, for you and for other children that are not as brave as you are”, “but I’m not brave, I’m weak, I didn’t fight them”
“Chay, you are brave, being brave is not synonyms with punching people”, “but Porsche…”, “I know you idolize your brother, and he is brave, just like you, but Honey, he is not brave just because he gets in fights, he is brave because he has you by his side, he is brave because of you, the way he chooses to show it is…mm…it’s his way to do it, but that doesn’t mean you not fighting is less brave, just now, you asked me not to do something about Tommy, and the reason you gave me had nothing to do with how things can get bad for you”
“I just don’t want him to get in trouble, he already does so much for me, he even lets me wear the uniforms he doesn’t use anymore, hia and Uncle say they’ll bring me good luck if I use them,” he says this as he wipes his tears from his face, a sad smile on Kru Ariya’s face makes him think he said something wrong.
“I bet they do Chay…let’s make a deal okay, I speak with Tommy’s dad as he is here, and I just tell him some of what you told me, I don’t mention you, that way I won’t have to call your uncle and Porsche won’t find out…unless you decide to tell him yourself”, “okay miss, and what do I have to do in exchange?” The puzzled look on his teacher’s face made him smile a little “huh? Why would you have to do something in exchange?”, “well Uncle Arthee says that a deal is when someone does something for you and you do something for them, like an exchange”
“Oh, I see…and Uncle Arthee, does he make a lot of deals with you?” There’s a weird look on Miss Ariya’s face that Chay doesn’t know what it means “Not really, but one time he said that he would give me a cookie every time I don't tell hia that he leaves me alone when Porsche goes to his martial arts class…I tried to not tell him, but I can’t lie to hia, now we share the cookies he gives me”
A complicated flurry of emotions passed his teacher’s face, “and you stay alone at your house?”, “mhm, only until Hia arrives”, miss Ariya looks over her shoulders eyes moving franticly, “Okay, okay…Chay, what you just said to me you cannot tell anyone else, okay? Not anyone else” Chay was confused “W-why?”, his teacher sighed “Listen, honey, I know Porsche protects you, and that you are safe with him, but, your hia is just a kid as well, and…if you tell what you just told me to someone who doesn’t…Chay, they might take you away from him”
Panic, cold, and unforgiving, a new sensation that he wishes never to experience again “N-no, please don’t let them take me away from him…I promise I won’t say anything, please Kru Ariya, please”, “Chay, I won’t say anything, I know…I know how much you mean to each other, I know, believe me, Chay, I understand but we need to figure out a way for you to not be alone…I… Chay do you like music?”, “Huh?…yeah miss, but…why?”, “because the school has a sort of club in the evenings after school, it’s free to the students, I don’t know if it’s at the same time as Porsche’s class, but we can see, and then you can take music lesson while your hia is at his class, that way it’ll be safer for you, what do you think Chay, would you like that?”
It sounds fun he has always wanted to be part of it, to be able to play music, although he’s never tried because Tommy is in that club, he doesn’t say that to miss Ariya, but even with Tommy there it’ll be better than being taken away from Porsche, really what other choice does he have, sniffing he looks his teacher in the eyes “okay miss, I promise to join the club” miss Ariya smiles the kind of smile that his hia gives him when he asks for something he can’t give to Chay.
“Okay honey, let’s go…you still have to tell them about your hero,” Miss Ariya says as she rises and takes his hand in her’s, as they start walking Chay thinks of all the stories he wants to tell, checks twice if any of them say that he sometimes stays alone, gives a sigh of relief knowing that non of them say any of that, and when they arrive at the door Chay finds that he no longer cares what Tommy and his silly group says about him, he has other things to worry about and important promises to keep.