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Bobby was well accustomed to the feeling of fear. Growing up in a family of first responders he had often been informed that his father or uncles or brothers had been injured whilst on duty, not to mention the numerous times he himself had been injured. His mother and father had raised them all well though and taught them that just because they were scared, it didn’t mean they had to let that fear overwhelm them.
Most of the time he was successful.
There had only been a few times where he had been overwhelmed by that fear, the first had been when the apartment fire in St Paul had taken his home and his family. His sheer desperation to find his family had fuelled the fear in him until he had nearly lost his mind to it as he desperately searched for his family amongst the flames that had once been their home.
So lost in the fear, he hadn’t felt the heat as his hands had blistered nor had he felt the muscles in his shoulder tearing as he desperately tried to pull himself back up the ledge. He had a single-minded focus on breaking down the door.
He had prayed after he left St Paul, that it wasn’t a feeling he would have to ever feel again and the walls he had put up to protect himself had done their job for a short while. Until they hadn’t. The bad days started to overwhelm him anyway and he began falling off the wagon all over again but then he had let the 118 in, especially Buck and Athena.
The second time had been the ladder truck when Freddie had happened and he had to watch as the man who had quickly become a son to him cried out in pain underneath the truck, as Bobby was held back by the police. He had almost been relieved as Freddie demanded to speak to him, calling over and over again for the captain. It meant he could actually do something to help him.
Then they had to get the truck off him, desperation had clawed at him every second and he had near collapsed into Athena’s arms after Buck had come out of surgery with a good prognosis. The tears seemed to have no end as she held him, down the corridor from where the rest of the 118 was celebrating.
All too soon they had moved on, the lawsuit had passed and the 118 was a family at peace once again. Then he had been hit once again by that controlling fear as he listened to the love of his life being violently assaulted, each and every hit had carved out a terrifying image of what he would find when he pulled up. The gunshot had made his blood run cold. Echoing in the silence of the truck as they all listened intently for any indication that Athena was okay. For one terrifying moment, he thought that it was all over and that desperation had turned to resignation as he began to contemplate burying yet another wife.
Then his shooting followed by the fallout and recovery, he finally felt like he could breathe again. Things in his life had never been better, he had his old family back and things were great between them and his new family just when he became complacent once again God reminded him just how tenuous life really was.
Because Harry was gone. Taken. By the same man that had tried to kill Athena.
Never before had he wanted to kill a man as much as he had wanted to end his own life after the fire in St Paul, but here he was. Sitting in the locker room at the station trying desperately to hold himself together as he waited. The last time when Athena had been attacked, he had given up. He couldn’t give up now, not on Harry. He had to trust her.
He needed something, someone to hold on to. A sharp ring drew him from his thoughts and he turned to see his phone was ringing. Picking it up he didn’t check the number before he answered, “Captain Nash.” He said monotonously.
“Bobby, darling? Are you okay? We saw about the blackout and we were worried.” His mother's voice came over the phone but Bobby couldn’t speak no matter how much he may want to, how did he explain this. How could he even speak as his throat constricted? “Bobby, can you hear me? Are you okay?” He could hear the worry in her voice, she was scared and he knew that but somehow, she couldn’t seem to get through to him. He gasped in an attempt to breathe normally and Amelia began murmuring quiet reassurances, telling him to breathe, take a minute, that whatever was wrong could be fixed.
After a few minutes Bobby had regained his ability to speak once more “He’s gone, Momma.” Bobby said and he could feel the emotions welling up in his all over again, his voice cracking as he spoke.
Amelia glanced at her husband next to her when she registered what her son was saying and made her way outside onto the porch, “Who, darling? Who’s gone?” She asked worriedly.
Bobby’s hand shook as he spoke, “Harry.” His heart broke just saying his name, he knew he needed to have faith. He trusted Athena with everything in him but the fear of losing yet another son was bringing up every ounce of fear in him, “The guy who attacked Athena, he got out…” He paused taking a breath before continuing, “He kidnapped Harry, took him right out of our home, Momma.”
Amelia gasped and called out to her husband, “Steven! Steven, come here!” Only seconds later he came barrelling out of the back door, worry written across his face as he waited for his wife to explain her urgency. “Oh, Steven. The man who attacked Athena, he’s taken Harry.”
The blood from his face drained, as he reached out for the phone, “Put that thing on speaker, Amelia.” She did as he asked and they stood there in silence for a few moments, simply too overwhelmed to know what to say.
Eventually, Steven spoke up, “Do… Can we…” He took a breath desperately reaching for some kind of response or words of reassurance but came up blank. He tried to think of the pain and fear he would feel if something like this had happened to any of his sons and the sudden urge to grab a beer hit him.
“Is there anything we can do for you, son?” He asked quietly, offering any support they could from such a great distance and they listened quietly as they waited for a response.
It came after a few minutes, quiet and full of hesitation, “Can you… can you pray with me?” Bobby’s mind flashed back to the last time he had asked that of someone and the wonderful relationship it had led to between him and Athena. His hand clasped his rosary, a gift from his grandfather when he had turned eighteen. Thumbing the beads over and over again in an effort to calm his racing mind.
They sat together in silence as they said their prayers and Bobby could feel the sense of calm settling over his mind, the simple act of prayer so often brought him comfort. Couple that with the knowledge that his parents were praying with him, anchoring him from the fear and the overwhelming need to drink that was becoming more and more difficult to ignore.
After a few more minutes they had all finished and Amelia suggested they say their Hail Mary together, Steven murmured his agreement and after a few seconds, Bobby joined them. “Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.” Bobby glance over to the rest of the team and took a breath as he watched them gathered by the other end of the truck, quietly talking amongst themselves. Bobby noted that once every minute or so one or more of them would glance in his direction, he could see the worry on their faces and wanted desperately to reassure them that he was okay. Or that he would be at the very least but he couldn’t say that. He didn’t know what was going to happen.
“Bobby, are you there?” He could hear his mother say and he turned his attention to the phone again but before he could answer his father begin speaking.
“Listen to me now, son. Having met your wife I don’t think there is anything short of the All Mighty himself that could stop her from finding your boy and when she does, they are both going to need you.” Bobby had forgotten how soothing his father’s voice could be, as a boy he had taken every opportunity to listen to his father telling him bedtime stories simply to listen to the man speak. “So you do whatever you need to, to be there for them when they need you, okay?” His father said and Bobby murmured his agreement but was otherwise quiet.
Amelia and Steven exchanged worried glances as they waited to see if Bobby would say anything else but after a few minutes he still hadn’t said anything, so they took a seat on the porch swing and simply sat with him in silence. After a few minutes, Amelia started humming. Bobby recognised it immediately as a tune she would hum as she cooked, they had cooked together so often that Bobby couldn’t forget it even if he wanted to.
The minutes passed quickly as they listened to Amelia humming, the porch illuminated by warm lights hung from the beams as Bobby sat in the locker room, the only light emanating through the glass from the main area. He was drawn out of his thoughts by Michael’s name appearing on the screen, “I need to go, Michael’s calling me.” Bobby said and quickly ended the call.
Hitting the green button, he listened intently to the other man before ending another call and summoning his team, “Let’s go!” He called out and they didn’t question him as they followed him to the ladder stuck and headed to the safe zone.
It was well into the early hours of the morning when he and Athena finally got home. After spending a few hours getting Harry checked out, Michael had taken Harry back to his apartment for the night after the young man had suffered a panic attack at the mere thought of coming back to the house. He slipped out of his jacket and took Athena’s as she murmured about going to shower and gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she disappeared into their room, quietly closing the door behind her.
Bobby was too wired to sleep though and he didn’t think that sharing a shower was something that Athena would welcome tonight, given the closed door, so instead he wandered into the kitchen to begin making a cup of tea. Bobby shook his head as his thoughts began drifting. A lifetime ago, if he had had a day like this he would have been at the bottom of a bottle by now, possibly on his way to a second but that wasn’t an option tonight so he took the piping hot cup of tea out onto the porch.
The quiet was welcome after the chaos of the last few hours, the noise of the hospital and his own fear had been draining, to say the least. Physically Harry was pretty much unharmed. Emotionally though, that was a whole other story. The doctors had suggested giving him a few days before having him meet with a therapist, something Athena wasn’t completely sold with but she hadn’t outright said no. Bobby was really wishing that he wasn’t alone though, he understood his wife’s need for some space after today but right now he was craving some companionship.
Glancing at his watch he noted that it was nearly two in the morning, the rest of the team was hopefully getting some rest at the station as they were still on shift, so they weren’t an option. He had called the Chief after they had found Harry and told him what had happened and before he could even ask, the Chief had given him some time off to be with his family.
So here he sat, Harry across town with May and Michael and Athena in the other room showering, alone. His hands fell to his phone and hovered over the number that had called him earlier, quickly working out what time it was in St Paul and realising it was only just after four in the morning and therefore too early to call his parents.
He remembered all the times Davie had mentioned that all he had to do was drop him a text and so Bobby scrolled a little further down his contacts until he came to Davie and fired off a quick text.
You free for a minute? He asked and waited for a few moments, after five minutes had passed, he put his phone on the table and looked up towards the sky, taking a tentative sip of his tea to see if it was cool enough. A few minutes into his quiet contemplation a ping drew him back towards his phone.
Sure, call? He responded and Bobby forwent texting him back and simply called him instead.
After only two rings Davie picked up, “Hey Bobby.” His older brother's voice was filled with sleep and therefore slightly groggy.
“Hey, Davie.” He responded, he was shocked at how tired he sounded, though after the emotionally draining day, he really shouldn’t be that surprised.
Davie remembered what his mother had told him earlier in the night and hoped that things had gotten better, “How’s… Did you find Harry?” Davie didn’t know whether this was going to be a good call or not and wanted to get a few things cleared up first.
Bobby smiled slightly, “Yeah. He’s at his dad’s tonight, I should drop Momma and Pop a message to let them know.” Bobby chewed his lip, guilt welling up in him that he hadn’t remembered to let them know that he was safe. He didn’t wait to send the message, simply putting his brother on speaker and sending a quick text to them, hoping that it didn’t wake them up.
“Glad to hear it Bobby.” Davie said and settled down in his kitchen with his own mug of tea in his hands.
“He didn’t want to come back home because… Well…” He drifted off as he thought about how he had been taken from his own home, as if being kidnapped wasn’t bad enough, now he was scared of being in his own home.
Davie nodded his head, he could understand how that could bother the young man. “I’m sure he’ll come home eventually, he just needs some time, right. Being kidnapped is traumatising but when you’re a kid it’s… he’ll bounce back. Kids are resilient, Bobby and your boy got some stubbornness issues if he takes after his mother… not to mention you.” Bobby couldn’t help but chuckle at that, his family and Athena had only met a few times but he couldn’t be more right.
“You’re right there.” Both men smiled at that before they settled into quiet again.
Bobby glanced towards the house and noticed the shower was still running, so he settled back into his chair. “I’m guessing Momma called you?” Bobby asked and Davie shook his head.
“Actually, it was Pop. He was worried about you, he was craving a beer after talking to you, settled on coffee in the end and figured you would be too.” Bobby sighed at that, a little irritated that it was their worry about his sobriety that caused this little intervention but Davie intervened, “Before you go down that particular rabbit hole Bobby it was more us wanting to know because first, that boy is family. He’s your son, so he’s my nephew… we were worried about him too.” Bobby teared up at that, loving the fact that they had so readily accepted his new family.
After another few minutes, he encouraged Davie to continue, “Are there any other reasons?” He asked and Davie continued.
“We didn’t notice when you were struggling before and now… Bobby, we just wanna be there for you. I just… I failed you as a brother once and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it happen again.” Bobby was stunned, they had talked at the hospital about his addiction and again a few times in the days following his release but when his brother had gone back to St Paul they hadn’t mentioned it again.
“It’s not your fault Davie, I didn’t want you to know back then. I didn’t wanna talk about it. It’s different now though, I know that.” Davie smiled as his brother spoke, after so many years it felt good to have him back in his life again and to see him this happy. It had been a long time since he had genuinely been able to have such an honest conversation with his brother and it was something both brothers would never take for granted again.
The sound of the shower turning off drew Bobby’s attention away from his phone to his home, “Thank you, Davie. For sitting with me… for checking in.” Bobby said.
Davie smiled, “Anytime, Bobby. Literally, anytime, you need me. You call me, I don’t care what time it is and I don’t care what I’m doing. You need me and I’ll make time, okay?” Bobby could feel the tears gathering and took a couple of shaky breaths as he took in his brother's words.
“Thank you, Davie.” Bobby said and they ended the call, Bobby put his mug back in the kitchen before making his way to their room to find Athena wrapping her hair in her silk sleep cap, her body clad in nothing but a towel. He made a little noise as he entered so as not to alarm her by surprising her as he made his way over to the chest of draws and pulled out an LAFD shirt and a pair of boxers and made his way over to her.
They were silent as she turned to face him, her eyes were red and slightly puffy from the tears that had slipped out in the last few hours. He gently placed his hand over the knot that held her towel together and waited until she nodded slightly in agreement before carefully undoing it, setting about drying her off slowly.
When he had finished he reached over to the dresser and grabbed the pair of boxers and slipped them on, guiding one leg and then another before gently slipping them up her legs. Next, he carefully pulled the shirt over her head, cautious of not knocking her wrap and watched as she pulled the collar up to her face and inhale his scent. After a few seconds, she stepped towards him and wove her arms around his waist, burying her face in his neck as the tears came back in full force.
He hugged her back, setting his chin atop her head as he held her quietly. He took comfort in the fact that she was physically okay, he had worried that an altercation with Jeffery would result in her getting injured again. After a few minutes, he could feel the fatigue settling in, so he gently picked her up and walked her over to the bed and set her down. Bobby stripped out of his shirt and jeans, leaving him in only his boxers as he slipped into bed beside Athena. He lay down and held his arm, she moved towards him without a word, curling herself against his side from head to toe.
They lay there together in silence as they breathed together, “Harry’s gonna be okay. Your okay.” Bobby said quietly and Athena sighed as he spoke. “We’re gonna be okay. He can’t hurt any of us again.” Bobby said and he was met with silence, glancing down at his wife he smiled as he realised that she had fallen asleep.
Staring at the ceiling Bobby lost track of time, he didn’t notice as his eyes began to close. Drifting off into a deep slumber as he held Athena close.