Chapter Text
Luz dug around in her pocket, pulling out her keys and sticking the correct one in the doors lock. She pushed it open, smiling when the smell of her girlfriend’s lavender candles hit her nose as she walked inside.
After kicking her sneakers off by the door, Luz yawned and shuffled into the guestroom where she kept her desk for work. She dropped her bag into the chair and threw her red beanie on top of it.
While she was chugging a glass of water in the kitchen, Luz heard her scroll chime and fell into a brief coughing fit.
Ami <3 (5:24 pm): are you home yet?
Luz (5:24 pm): yes and I’m sooo lonely without you…
Ami <3 (5:25 pm): I told you to text me when you were home safe, Noceda
Luz (5:25 pm): I just got here! I was literally seconds away from texting you!
Ami <3 (5:26 pm): mhm, sure you were
A dopey smile covered the human’s face while she continued to text her girlfriend, absently walking into their bedroom so she could change her clothes. Maybe she would try to cook something for Amity to come home to once she got out of her last class of the day.
She stripped off her flannel and hung it on the back of the door, tripping on a stray cat toy when she headed toward the closet.
“Mierda…” Luz kicked the toy away and shrugged off her jeans, left in her shirt and boxers.
The shirt was the next to go and Luz tossed it on Amity’s side of the bed, knowing the witch would steal it when she got home.
Luz turned to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, taking in her appearance. She ran a hand over her black binder, softly inhaling as recurring thoughts flooded her mind.
Her eyes flicked back where her scroll was on the bed, buzzing with another text from Amity. She turned to the mirror again and pressed her hands against her chest, pushing down and imagining how she would feel if the area was flat.
Guilt flashed across her features when her scroll buzzed once more, her hands falling back to her sides for a moment. She knew it was time to take off her binder, but she didn’t want to—at all. If only…
She sighed in annoyance, finally starting to work off her binder so she could breathe better. Amity would be upset if she knew Luz kept it on for too long, more worried about her health than Luz was.
But that was okay, Amity just didn’t want her to feel any type of pain or shortness of breath. She cared about Luz in such a genuine way, it was all the human could’ve ever asked for in a partner.
Now freed from the confines of her binder, Luz steeled herself and looked in the mirror again, eyes raking over her chest and body. She winced and spun away, not liking everything she saw.
A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, and she stomped over to the dresser for a new shirt. One solitary tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she quickly swiped it away, anger bubbling up and fueling her discomfort.
She caught another glimpse of her chest in Amity’s makeup mirror and snapped, throwing her binder across the room in frustration.
Luz urgently dug through the clothes in the drawer and grabbed a purple shirt, pulling it over her head in a hurry. Exhaling in relief at the coverage, she tried to ignore the feeling of the fabric brushing against her.
“Get off!” Luz pawed at the shirt, desperately trying to keep it from hugging her chest.
While yanking at the material, Luz slammed her hip into the corner of the dresser, grunting at the bruising contact. She turned and kicked the laundry bin in her agitation, flipping it and watching all the clothes spill out.
Falling to her knees, Luz blinked away a few more exasperated tears and began cleaning up the mess, disappointed in herself for getting so upset over something out of her control.
Thoughts clouded Luz’s mind as she picked up the clothes, wondering what things would be like if she were just a bit different.
Amity shouldered the front door open, pausing so Ghost could run into the apartment ahead of her.
“I’m here, lovey!”
“I’m in the kitchen!” Luz called out.
“I know, dork. I can see you.” Amity giggled, only standing ten feet away from Luz.
“Just let me live out my domestic fantasy.” Luz complained as she closed the distance between them to squeeze Amity in a tight hug, lifting her up until only her toes touched the ground.
“How are you?”
Luz hesitated, lowering Amity back down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Good, I just missed you…”
“I missed you too, sweetheart.” Amity returned the affection, kissing the tip of her human’s nose. “What’s that smell?”
“I made dinner!”
“Uh-oh…”
“No, it’s gonna be great this time!” Luz led Amity to the table and pulled out a chair for her to sit in. “You stay here, and I’ll bring it over.”
Amity settled into the chair, her eyes tracking Luz as she moved around and fumbled with the drawer to get two forks. “What did you make?”
“Give me a second, damn.” Luz stole a glance over her shoulder and winked at her girlfriend, grinning when she fondly rolled her eyes. “Close those gorgeous golds for me, please. If you’re done rolling them, that is.”
After a small giggle, Amity closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of Luz scrambling around the kitchen. Her ear twitched when she heard the clink of something being set down in front of her, but she didn’t dare open her eyes without permission. She had learned that lesson long ago.
Gentle fingers threaded through lavender and carefully removed the hair tie that held up Amity’s ponytail, allowing her hair to cascade down around her face. Luz smiled at the smell of vanilla that wafted up and dropped a tender kiss into auburn roots, shifting her hands to begin lightly massaging Amity’s shoulders.
Tension was expertly ebbed out of the witch, who groaned and leaned back into the contact, her eyes still shut. A low purr rumbled out of Amity as the massage continued, doubling in volume when Luz bent down to kiss her ear.
“You can open your eyes now, mi amor.”
She blinked them open, slowly bringing herself out of the comforting atmosphere Luz had created. A bowl of noodles, a fork, and a mug of tea sat in front of Amity, and she felt a smile overtake her face.
Luz plopped into her own chair, pushing her feet out to touch Amity’s and fixing her with a huge smile. “I cooked!”
The witch raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend, whose grin wavered. “Uh-huh…”
“What is it, Ami bear?”
“You made this?”
“Uh, yeah…”
“I see,” Amity nodded, taking her first bite. “Are you sure you didn’t just make cup noodles then pour them into a bowl?”
“Honestly? I can’t even remember. I slaved over making you dinner and that’s all that matters.” Luz averted her gaze, staring down into her bowl to avoid Amity’s knowing eyes.
“Thank you for making me dinner, my love.”
“It was easy.” Luz grinned as they fell into a fit of laughter together. “Do you wanna watch a movie tonight?”
“Yes, that sounds like a perfect way to unwind. This week was so long and I just wanna spend time with you and not have to think.”
“I can help with that. I usually only think about one thing anyway. And she’s pretty great.” Luz casually shrugged and kept eating her noodles, pausing to sip her water.
“Aren’t you smooth?”
“Not always. I can be rough too, but you already knew that, didn’t you?” Luz continued to eat, giggling when Amity turned her face away to shield a burning blush.
“Perhaps o-on occasion.” Amity’s flush got darker at the memory. “Let me eat in peace for once!”
“Fine, but only because I worked so hard on this five-star meal and I want you to enjoy it.”
“Thank you again for your efforts, this was very sweet of you.”
“Anything for my Ami.” Luz ignored the lingering frustration she had felt with herself earlier, choosing instead to focus on her girlfriend sitting across the table.
After throwing the dishes in the sink, Luz joined Amity on the couch and started to prepare a movie on the crystal ball.
She selected their favorite genre, fantasy, and then leaned back to wrap an arm around Amity’s shoulders, tugging her close against her side.
“Remember that time you fell asleep while we were watching a movie?”
Amity blinked. “Which time?”
“Every time.” Luz giggled, digging her fingers into Amity’s ribs and drawing a fit of laughter out of the witch.
“I only fall asleep when it’s boring! Which is more often than not.” Amity batted away the tickling fingers and threw her legs across Luz’s lap. “And I only stay awake when someone is begging for a little personal attention.”
“Hmm, who could that be?”
“Some goofy human. Maybe you’ve seen her around.”
“Maybe…” Luz grabbed one of Amity’s hands and played with her fingers, feeling some of her stress fade away as she toyed with her golden ring.
The sound of the movie starting came from the crystal ball and Amity turned to watch. But Luz didn’t, her eyes focused on the cold hand she was holding. She trailed a fingertip along Amity’s palm and traced the outline of her fingers, distracted and lost in her own head.
Luz lifted the hand up and pressed her lips against Amity’s knuckles, holding the contact before setting it down again, keeping it tightly clasped in her own.
Curious gold eyes shifted to look at the human, noticing how quiet she had become. Amity wrapped her hand around two of Luz’s fingers and squeezed, hoping to reassure her without words.
They stayed in silence and watched the film together, each of them settling more comfortably into the couch cushions.
About halfway through the movie, Amity sat up and pulled her legs off Luz’s lap, choosing instead to lean against her and set a hand on her thigh.
Luz sighed at the touch, making sure Amity was still covered by their shared blanket. She tried to ignore the way her shirt moved against her chest when she shifted, biting her cheek to keep from getting frustrated again.
Warmth spread between them from the closer proximity, most of it coming from Luz despite the fact she was wearing less clothing. The human fought off her lingering thoughts and looped an arm around Amity’s shoulders again, tugging her in to kiss her temple.
A soft purr trickled past Amity’s lips and she turned to kiss an eyebrow scar, relieving some of the affection built up in her chest.
Caramel eyes slipped shut at the feeling of gentle lips pressed to her face, Luz loving the reciprocated attention and absently pushing into the contact with a quiet groan.
Something about the small noise spurred on Amity, who took it as a signal to climb into Luz’s lap. With her back to the crystal ball, the witch held Luz’s face in her hands and tipped her head up to carefully connect their lips.
The movie was all but forgotten as Luz’s hands settled into their rightful place on her girlfriend’s hips, urging her forward to increase the pressure of the kiss.
Amity purred against Luz’s lips and then broke away to nuzzle their noses together, one of her hands tangled in dark brown curls. The human’s hands roamed around Amity’s body, currently rubbing up and down her thighs to draw out another resounding purr.
This is just what Luz needed to feel better, to feel distracted from the turmoil inside her head. She kissed Amity’s top lip then the bottom, gently sucking on it then letting it go to mold their mouths together again.
Blunt nails dragged along Amity’s thighs and she repositioned herself in her girlfriend’s lap, now straddling her hips. Luz hummed at the movement, raising Amity up and setting her down again, their bodies now completely flush.
Amity smiled against her human’s lips, understanding the nonverbal signal. Her hands fell away from wild curls, dropping down to grip the hemline of Luz’s shirt.
Just as she went to lift up the loose t-shirt, Luz’s hands gently grabbed her wrists, halting the motion.
The kiss broke when Amity leaned back to look into caramel eyes. “You wanna keep this on?”
“Yes—please.” Luz nodded urgently, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “If that’s okay…”
“Of course it’s okay, darling.” Amity offered up a patient smile, brushing one of her thumbs across Luz’s cheek.
The smile was returned in an instant, showing the human’s relief. She darted forward and brought her lips to Amity’s neck, littering the area with insistent, open-mouthed kisses.
Amity giggled when Luz’s nose grazed the edge of her jawline, enamored with the display of appreciation from her girlfriend. Her hands came to rest on Luz’s shoulders, gingerly pushing her to the side until she was lying on the couch.
Out of caution, Amity avoided slipping her hands under Luz’s shirt to feel her stomach, choosing instead to support her weight above the human then pausing to admire her.
A sly smirk that conveyed confidence she wasn’t currently feeling settled on Luz’s lips as she opted to tease the witch looming over her, darkened eyes twinkling. “We’re missing the movie~”
“Ask me if I care.”
“Do you car—"
Luz was silenced when Amity crashed their lips together once more, pouring her devotion into the union.
After letting out a squeak of surprise, Luz brought both her hands up to rub and tug at two pointed ears. She parted her lips to welcome Amity’s tongue into her mouth, swirling it with her own as a purr vibrated between them.
Amity dropped more of her weight onto Luz, feeling a shiver run down her spine when the human exhaled into her mouth. She sank her fangs into Luz’s lip and pulled at the sensitive skin, then broke away to nuzzle her nose against her neck.
The smell of pine flooded Amity’s senses when she burrowed her face further into Luz’s neck, layering kisses everywhere she could reach.
Dropping lower once more, Amity laid completely on top of Luz, their chests now pressed together while she continued to shower the human with affection.
The weight of her girlfriend on her chest made Luz squirm, not loving the pressure but also not wanting to stop what was happening. She tried to hold still, angling her head to expose more of her neck to Amity, who had begun sucking scattered marks along her pulse point.
Tan hands fisted into balls while Luz desperately tried to block out the feeling of her chest being laid on, something that rarely bothered her. But today had been such a dysphoric day already and she was quickly approaching a tipping point that was out of her control.
Hoping to go unnoticed, Luz wriggled again to try and create space between their chests. The movement caught Amity’s attention and the witch stopped teasing her fangs along the skin of Luz’s neck to fix her with another questioning look.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing—I’m fine.”
“Luz.”
“It’s just…the pressure,” Luz admitted, shifting again.
Amity’s eyebrows furrowed in temporary confusion and she glanced down, noticing that their chests were pressed together. She instantly sprang away from Luz, understanding what the problem must be.
“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t realize…” Amity sat back on her heels to minimize the contact between their bodies.
“No, it’s okay!” Luz was quick to reassure, also sitting up to be on the same level. “You didn’t know.”
The witch chewed her bottom lip, her distress apparent. “Are you having a bad day?”
Luz knew she was referring to her body image issues and tried to keep her expression neutral, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “I told you, Ami. I’m fine, please. I wanna keep going.”
“Are you sure? You know I don’t mind stopping.”
“Positive.” Luz captured one of Amity’s hands and kissed her palm, exhaling when it shifted to cradle her cheek. “Please.”
After a few seconds of hesitation, Amity pecked her girlfriend’s eyebrow scar then rejoined their lips in a sweet kiss. Luz eagerly met the contact, tugging Amity further into her lap again with a hand on her lower back.
A quiet hum vibrated against the human’s lips, and she let herself get lost in the feeling. There was still a mild trace of honey lip gloss on Amity’s lips that she was able to taste, making her heart pound twice as hard.
Luz poked her tongue out and ran it across Amity’s bottom lip, chasing the flavor. Her legs pressed tightly together when the witch’s black nails dug into the back of her neck, locking her in another heated kiss.
The movie ended without acknowledgement as Luz broke away to drag her lips along Amity’s jawline and up to her ear, nipping at its shell.
The pointed ear fluttered at the sensation, turning from pink to red under the attention. Amity wrapped her arms around Luz’s neck and pulled her closer, wanting more.
After attacking Amity’s ear with a flurry of kisses, Luz shifted lower and pushed her face into her girlfriend’s neck, rubbing her nose around before dropping soft kisses on the flushed skin there.
The kisses soon turned into careful licks, which turned into gentle sucking as Luz left a trail of red splotches behind on her witch’s neck and the slope of her shoulder.
“Luuuz…” Amity’s head fell back to expose more of her neck, feeling her body’s temperature start to rise again.
There was intention behind Amity’s actions, purposely keeping her hands on or above her girlfriend’s shoulders. At that moment, they urged Luz closer and breached the curls at the base of her head, passionately pulling on them.
Despite all of her conscious efforts, she couldn’t stop herself from arching forward once Luz sucked a darker bruise into her neck. Amity had accidentally brushed their chests together, only realizing her mistake when she felt Luz tense up from the friction.
“I’m so sor—” Amity began but stopped short.
Luz jolted from the contact to her chest, the sensitivity and dysphoria she had already been feeling suddenly cranked to the max. She quickly but gently moved Amity off her lap, standing up so she could pace the floor.
“I didn’t mean to, I swear.” Amity stayed where she was, not wanting to overwhelm Luz any further.
The human tried to give her an understanding smile even though her hands had reached up to yank on her curls, still pacing. “I know. It’s not your fault, Am. It’s mine. I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, please don’t say that.” Amity turned to follow Luz with her eyes, watching as her girlfriend migrated around the apartment. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”
“It’s in the way!”
“What is?”
“My—my chest!” Hot tears brimmed in Luz’s eyes and spilled down her cheeks seconds later. She tugged on her shirt to keep it from touching her chest, utterly overcome by the feel of it against her skin.
“Shh, I’m here.” Amity finally stood, slowly approaching her girlfriend while she wrestled with her shirt. “Why don’t we get you changed into something else?”
That caught Luz’s attention and she froze, looking down at Amity. “Huh?”
“Come on, let’s change.” Amity gingerly wiped away Luz’s tears with her thumbs, cupping her face afterward. She went on her toes and kissed two damp cheeks in turn.
Luz sighed and leaned into the loving touch, her hands absently releasing the fabric of her shirt. “I…okay.”
After tightly intertwining their hands, Amity led Luz to their bedroom and right up to the dresser. She hummed and went to one of her drawers, an idea coming to mind. “I think I have a really, really big shirt in here that I stole from Hunty a few years ago…”
“Right…” Luz waited patiently, trying not to fidget in her spot. Her darting, restless eyes landed on Amity and her gaze softened, taking in the sharpness of the witch’s side profile.
“Here it is,” Amity pulled the shirt from the drawer and set it on the edge of the bed. “Will you put your arms up, lovey?”
“Mhm…” She lifted her arms and held her breath, afraid of being set off again.
“Close your eyes so you don’t see them,” Amity suggested.
Caramel eyes slipped shut, eased by the sound of Amity’s voice. Luz held still while her girlfriend gradually worked her t-shirt up and over her head, leaving her completely exposed to the air in the room. “Please don’t look—not right now.”
“I’m not looking, darling.”
“Thank you…”
“Of course. I want you to be comfortable. Especially on your bad days.”
“How did you know?” Luz questioned, believing she had hidden her distress well.
“Because I know you. I know how you work. I know when something is bothering you.” Amity discarded the shirt and avoided looking at Luz’s chest, following her request.
Before helping Luz into the new shirt, Amity took advantage of her eyes still being closed and moved away from the dresser. She wrapped Luz in a hug from behind, her hands coming to rest on a tan stomach while she squeezed her girlfriend tight.
Luz pressed back into the embrace, pleased that her chest was being avoided. She settled her hands on top of the witch’s and warmed them up, barely able to keep herself from jerking at their chill.
A pale nose came into contact with the back of Luz’s neck and she shivered, still maintaining the hug. “Amiii, your nose is freezing.”
“You love it.”
“I do. And I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They stood in silence for a moment after that, each of them relaxing into the intimacy of their embrace. Luz’s eyes stayed shut the entire time, keeping Amity’s arms wrapped around her abdomen.
“Maybe I should just put my binder back on…” Luz gave it a try even though she already knew what the answer would be.
“I don’t think so, you had it on most of the day.”
“You’re right…”
A soft whine came from the human when Amity withdrew her arms, grabbing the bigger shirt and preparing it for Luz. “Arms out.”
Once she did just that, Amity looped her arms into the shirt, pulling it up and over Luz’s head until it was on all the way.
Luz sighed at the feeling of her chest being covered again, her eyes finally peering open to see Amity looking up at her. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“You’re my best friend.”
“You are mine too.” Amity smiled up at her girlfriend, lightly giggling when Luz held her chin and peppered kisses all over her face.
Their lips connected in a brief but warm kiss. Luz was desperate to show her gratitude in a more tangible way. “Thank you again, Ami.”
“You’re welcome, my love. How do you feel now?”
“Better.” It was true. She felt a little weight lift off her shoulders, aided by the devoted concern shining in Amity’s eyes. “How are you?”
“I’m better because you’re better.” Amity kissed the hollow of her human’s neck. “You look tired, Luz.”
“I am…can we go to bed?”
“Yes.”
“Will you be the big spoon?”
“Yes.”
That night Amity slept coiled around Luz from behind, extremely cautious to avoid touching her chest in any way. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, but the witch never minded. Her top priority was Luz and her comfort level. Nothing mattered more.
When Luz woke up the next morning, Amity had already left for her classes. The human could almost feel the ghost of the kiss Amity had left on her eyebrow scar before leaving and rubbed the spot, thinking about the previous night.
She slipped out of bed and stretched, yawning as she trudged to the bathroom. Next, she went to the kitchen and started making her daily coffee, wishing she was able to spend time with Amity before she had to go.
There was a quickly scribbled note on the fridge reminding Luz to eat and she smiled at the doodle of the two of them holding hands in the corner of the paper.
It was her off day and she considered what to do, ultimately deciding to visit her brother at the Owl House. She knew he also wasn’t working and would probably be available for a much-needed talk. If anyone had an idea of how she was feeling, it was Hunter.
All that she had to do before leaving was get dressed…but she was feeling okay about it since now she could put her binder back on, which is exactly what she did.
The compression to her chest comforted Luz, and she threw a long-sleeved shirt over the top of her binder, pleased that she couldn’t feel the fabric brushing directly against her.
About a ten-minute walk later, Luz pushed through the front door of the Owl House, able to keep her greetings with Hooty relatively brief. She hadn’t even texted her brother that she was coming, but then she rarely did. Luz liked to keep him on his toes.
She took the stairs two at a time and strolled through Hunter’s bedroom door, grinning when she saw him sewing at his desk. “Hey bro.”
“Oh, hey. I didn’t know you were coming over. Mom is at the market.”
“I wanted to talk to you.” Luz sat on the edge of the bed, tapping her feet on the ground.
“What’s up?”
“I’ve been…struggling with my body, specifically my chest and how it’s always…there. But I’m trying to push the feelings down and I don’t know what to do!”
“First of all, take a breath.”
Luz inhaled deeply and let it out right after. “Why is this getting harder and harder to ignore?”
“The older you get, the more you grow into yourself. You figure out who you are with each passing day. You are someone who’s dissatisfied with having a chest. That’s not a bad thing, but that is the truth. Don’t feel guilty about it.”
“It’s bothering me so much lately…it’s affecting my confidence a-and my mood. It frustrates me, Hunt. Now it’s even affecting me when I try to be intimate with Ami.”
“Luz, you’re my sister and I love you. But I did not need to know that last part.”
“My bad, bro.” Luz chuckled wetly and then sighed. “The main problem is that I can’t wear my binder all the time. I wish I could, even if it hurts and I can’t breathe. But I don’t care about that. I just want to feel flat. I want to feel comfortable in my skin, like you do. I know how much better you feel, how much happier you are now.”
“That’s true,” Hunter agreed, opting to mostly listen at this point.
“The thing is…I feel like a girl, but I don’t feel like me.” She gestured to her chest. “This isn’t me. At all. I want to feel like myself and this isn’t part of it.”
“I didn’t think so. You’ve worn your binder for years and I’ve wondered before if us having this conversation was just a matter of time.” Hunter accidentally poked himself with the needle, distracted by the serious conversation.
“You have?”
He nodded.
“So you think I should do something about it? Get surgery?” Luz nervously played with her fingers, already thinking about all the benefits she could experience if she followed through with one of her greatest desires.
“I do, but that’s your choice. I want you to feel like yourself, just like you said.”
“It’s honestly something I’ve wanted for a while now, but I didn’t let myself believe it could happen…”
“Why not?”
“Ami.”
“…What about her?”
“I’m—I’m scared she won’t love me the same.” Luz rushed out the sentence.
Hunter blinked. “Luz, that girl loves you more than anything. Why would you think that?”
“Because my body will look different and I’ll be less feminine…”
Hunter scrunched his eyebrows, genuinely confused. “Don’t think of it as being less feminine, think of it as being more yourself. Yes, your body will look different, but it will also look the way you’ve wanted it to look all along.”
Luz groaned and flopped back on the bed, waiting for him to continue.
“Ams doesn’t love you because you have a chest, and she won’t love you less if you don’t. She loves you for you, and I know for a fact that she wants what’s best for you. Why don’t you try and talk to her about this?” Hunter finally turned away from his desk to completely face his sister.
“I really should…it’s become unbearable these past few months,” she rubbed her eyes.
“I’m glad you came here to talk with me. It means a lot that you trust me like this.” Hunter set down the fabric he was working on, standing up to nudge Luz’s leg. “Let’s go get lunch downtown. It’s on me.”
“Okay. Will you help me figure out what to say to Ami?”
“Of course.”
Luz walked back to her apartment after getting lunch with her brother, wanting to get her thoughts in order while she navigated through the woods on a familiar path.
She knew Amity would be home from class by now and was hoping to talk with her straight away. Luz didn’t want this long-overdue conversation to weigh her down any longer.
Once she reached their place, she slid the key into the lock, knowing how paranoid Amity was about someone just walking in unannounced. Luz kicked off her sneakers when she was inside, sliding across the floor in her Freddy Fazbear socks.
“Ami bear?” She headed toward their bedroom, walking through the door just in time to see Amity resettling on the bed. “What are you up to?”
“Reading my textbook, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh…” Luz glanced to the left. “Then why is my Switch halfway under the pillow?”
“I d-didn’t—that wasn’t me!” Amity panicked, pushing it completely out of sight.
Luz laughed at her girlfriend’s awful lying. “I told you it was okay if you wanted to play with it. Don’t be shy.”
Only a few grumbles came from the witch, whose hands were on her cheeks to hide her embarrassed flush.
“You look beautiful.” Luz sat down next to Amity and tucked an auburn strand of hair behind her lowered ear, watching her flush deepen for a different reason. “Can we talk?”
Amity pulled Luz’s face closer to her own and pressed a kiss to her jaw, a light red blush slowly spreading over the human’s cheeks at the simple touch. “Always. What’s on your mind, sweet?”
Battling through her anxious feelings, Luz began the conversation she had rehearsed with Hunter. “O-Okay so um, I know last night probably didn’t go the way you wanted it to…”
“There was nothing wrong with what happened last night,” Amity assured.
“But still…”
“It’s okay, Luz. You know I don’t mind helping you on bad days.”
“That’s the problem,” Luz mumbled.
“Hmm?”
“The problem is that there’s too many bad days!”
Amity kept her voice soft, setting a hand on her girlfriend’s leg to soothe her. “That doesn’t bother me.”
“It should! It bothers the fuck out of me, that’s for sure!” Luz couldn’t make eye contact, disappointed in herself for getting so emotional so quickly.
There was a pause from Amity, who knew that Luz was just frustrated at herself and letting off some steam. “Is there anything I can do to help more when you have bad feelings about your chest?”
“You shouldn’t have to be doing anything, I ask too much of you already.” Luz’s breathing got faster, showing her distress. “I don’t d-deserve it…”
“Hey, I’m here for you. I always will be—”
“Why?!”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Luz froze at that for a few seconds before threading her fingers into her hair and pulling on it, her chest pounding. “I know, I know, I know.”
“It’s okay, baby. Just breathe for me.”
“I-I can’t—” Luz began heaving for air until it turned to rapid hyperventilating, her eyes going wide in panic.
“You can, I know you can.” Amity kept her voice calm despite her level of concern.
“H-H-Help…”
“Do it with me, lovey. Please look at me.”
Luz turned her head to stare into gold, desperately trying to match Amity’s breathing.
“In through the nose, out through the mouth. Deep and slow. Do it with me, Luz.”
It took several long moments before Amity was able to get Luz to steady her breathing, squeezing her leg all the while to show that she was right there.
“Are you any better?”
“Mhm…” Luz leaned against her girlfriend’s shoulder, hiding her face.
“Is that what you wanted to talk about?”
“Uh, kinda.”
A gentle kiss landed on Luz’s forehead, indicating Amity’s patience. “I’m listening.”
“So…I went to see Hunter today to try and sort through some of my feelings about myself and my body.”
Amity hummed to assure Luz that she had her complete attention, dropping another kiss on the human’s ear.
Tears gathered in Luz’s eyes again, but she fought through them, keeping her voice even. “I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to have this part of me that feels so wrong on my body, it’s not me. It makes me feel bad and when I try to ignore it—o-or keep my binder on longer than I should—it hurts. Both physically and mentally.”
“How can we make this better for you?” Amity soothingly rubbed her girlfriend’s back, encouraging her.
“I’ve been trying to fix it all along a-and I didn’t wanna worry you, but I can’t keep feeling like this, Ami.”
“Are you talking about getting top surgery?”
“M-Maybe…” Luz finally looked at Amity, her eyes shining. “Not without your approval of course.”
“Sweetheart, this is about you, not me. Why would you need my approval?”
“Because you’re my girlfriend and this affects you too.”
Amity automatically kissed the corner of Luz’s mouth then took a deep breath. “All I want is for you to feel comfortable in your body. Whether you have a chest or not makes no difference to me. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I need you to feel better and this seems like the right choice to make that happen. I see how much this bothers you, and you know I worry about it. I think a more permanent solution is a great idea and you have my unwavering support. I’ll be here through it all because my place is by your side. I promise that I will love you the same as I do right now, the same way I always have and always will.”
Nothing happened for a few seconds while Luz processed her girlfriend’s sincere words, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. “You mean it?”
“Yes, I mean it. I’m on board with whatever you want to do, darling.”
“I…I want this, Am. The surgery. I need it.”
“Okay.” Amity smiled, fondly watching as Luz did the same. “Will you tell me about this whole process?”
The human launched herself forward into Amity’s arms, squeezing her tightly as if she had no intention of ever letting go. After several minutes of that, Luz pulled back just enough to connect their lips in a firm, meaningful kiss.
“Thank you, mi amor.” Luz nuzzled their noses together briefly then stole another quick kiss. “I would love to tell you all about it.”
They spent the rest of the day in each other’s company, Luz excitedly describing all the steps that would need to be taken for her to finally get what she had wanted for years.