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selfishly, oliver could not care less about the messy disaster that was cooper’s supposed wedding. it served him right, in oliver’s head, that any wedding that didn’t involve the two of them would be a spectacular failure. regardless, oliver felt kinda bad for ava, being left at the alter and all, and he knew cooper felt even worse. that was oliver’s favorite thing about the other man, his ridiculously big heart, his kindness, his hesitation to be perceived as uncaring or rude. so oliver knew, despite the reasons for walking away from ava, cooper felt horrible.
it was a weird situation to be in, he had to admit, sympathizing with someone who cooper was supposed to marry, or even cooper himself. it was definitely a predicament he never imagined himself in, but he can understand if cooper had abandoned him at their wedding he’d feel terrible, regardless of circumstances, and he felt bad for being the reason ava had to go through it. but again, selfishly, he was grateful for it.
now he had cooper back, in his life and in his bed and in his family again, and he really couldn’t be happier. it wasn’t like before, there were long conversations about why everything happened the way it did, how cooper was incredibly pressured into a half planned proposal and extremely dramatic wedding. oliver could feel the embarrassment pouring from the other man, because despite his age and his relationship with oliver, he still ceded to his parents wishes. oliver held his face in his hands and told him will all the certainty he could muster, he did not hold it against cooper, he didn’t care, as long as he was back now. he realized he was telling the truth, not that he intended to lie to cooper, but the last three years without his other half, his soulmate, love his life, all that sappy shit, was the worst three years he had to endure. so really, oliver didn’t care, he wasn’t mad at cooper (his parents were a different story, however) he was just content to see him in oliver’s clothes like how it used to be.
it took a while, but it eventually he could see cooper starting to believe him. the first few months after everything were a little difficult, awkward, almost. after cooper was completely and totally cut off from anything and everything that would constitute him as a bradford, for real this time, the small break down because of it, cooper was completely withdrawn. from anyone and anything, he didn’t want to be around people, he didn’t want to talk, he couldn’t. he felt stupid, utterly, completely, totally stupid. and tired. and guilty, overdramatic, confused, angry, any and all negative emotions were floating through him like a lazy river that was just confused, his thoughts kept repeating themselves, getting bolder and quicker, louder, like cooper was a misbehaving child who needed correction.
it took even longer for the blonde to finally tell oliver about these feelings, about how guilty he felt, how he felt guilty for feeling guilty, how horrible he was for grieving a relationship while being with oliver again. and it took infinitely longer for the two of them to figure out how to navigate everything, and they’re sure they aren’t doing it hundred percent right all the time, hitting bumps and pitfalls at all the wrong places, but they were together, and that’s all oliver cared about.
cooper still had his moments of quiet, of feeling gross and shitty, and it took everything from oliver to make it go away sometimes, but it was worth it to both of them.
“do you miss them?” oliver asked, they finally got back to oliver’s place after everything, not the apartment they had together, oliver quickly had to move out of there soon after cooper, but somewhere similar. after their break up oliver couldn’t help but imagine cooper in the new apartment, leaving the little pieces of himself like he did everywhere he went. he could see him on the couch, in the kitchen, at the dining table, and now it was real. it was like a dream come true, in the most embarrassing and cliche way.
cooper didn’t have to ask who he was talking about, and he was grateful for being faced away from oliver, his back glued to the other’s chest. he sighed.
“i don’t know. yes, no, sometimes.” he rambled. “i don’t know if anything really changed. they never really acted like my parents. not like yours did.” he could feel oliver nod behind him, tighten his arms in a quick hug.
“i’m sorry.” oliver said for the millionth time, he felt responsible for cooper’s disownment, if it weren’t for him cooper wouldn’t of had to leave his wedding, and his parents would of been so happy and proud of their heterosexual son and everything would of worked out. but oliver had wormed his way into cooper’s life and ruined cooper’s sexuality and made a mess of everything.
cooper sighed again, repeating for the hundredth time, “if they only cared about me when i was gonna get married to a woman, i don’t want them in my life. it has nothing to do with you.” he didn’t mean to sound as snippy as it did but he was tired, sleepy wise and emotionally. he just didn’t want to think about it anymore. “stop asking.” he said, a little gentler.
oliver didn’t say anything, but cooper knew him well enough to know he was upset. sighing for the third time in as many minutes, he twisted around to face his significant other. confirming what he already knew, oliver was visibly upset.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that. i just don’t want to talk about it anymore. it’s not your fault, there’s nothing else to it. i wasn’t trying to be mean.”
“i know.” oliver quickly replied, he knew cooper would never be mean on purpose, or purposely try to hurt oliver’s feelings in anyway. but he realized there was a limit to his boyfriend’s patience, and he felt bad for pushing it. “i’ll leave it alone. i didn’t mean to bring it up so much.” he touched the side of cooper’s face, still entranced he was able to again.
“thank you. i love you.” he gave oliver a easy kiss, the kind that reminded him of before, of their old apartment, even when they still lived in the otto’s basement.
as sappy as it was, oliver knew cooper could get away with murder as long as he told oliver he loved him and kissed him like that, still thinking about he almost lost it completely.
they separated enough for oliver to mumble a quick, “i love you.” before reconnecting.
they both missed the three year ago memories they had, the people they were, and the places they had been, but they also both knew this was their second shot. their do-over, the second life, and neither of them were willing to risk it, not this time.