Chapter Text
When Vio was twelve years old, his best friend in the whole world had gotten into a car accident and lost his family. Now, he lay in a white room, hooked up to ventilators and all the sort to keep him breathing and alive. It was a stasis, nothing more. But Vio believed he held onto the thread of life, if only for him.
Vio had gone to his bedside every day in the hospital, reading books to his dark haired friend, but he never woke. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months… and still he hadn’t so much as moved. But Vio visited every day after school and left first thing in the morning on the weekends to read aloud to his comatose friend until his voice was shot. Sometimes it was hard to read, not knowing if Shadow was listening or not, but he kept on, praying to the Goddesses that perhaps he could.
He did his homework with Shadow, speaking out every equation, every word written, trying to keep his friend up to date on their school work- or perhaps Vio was just desperate for his company again.
It was sometime in the first year that Vio realized that it was going to be a long time before Shadow woke up. His birthday had passed, and a few months later, Shadow’s had too. Both 13. One alive and walking, the other alive but comatose.
Vio sat next to Shadow for hours one weekend, listening to the sounds of the hospital and staring at his best friend.
How long could he wait? How long should he wait?
Vio shook his head, getting the thoughts out of his head- Shadow wouldn’t abandon him, he wasn’t about to do that to him. But something needed to change.
He began watching the nurses and doctors more. Watched as they tended to friend, rolling him in different positions to prevent bedsores, emptying his bladder bag, feeding him through the tube connected to his stomach.
It was just maintenance on the shell of a human.
And Vio hated to look at it like that.
He had cried that night, for the first time in a year and a half since he lost his best friend. He too felt like a shell as he went through the school day. It felt like everything repeated in the same drooling manner and it was hopelessly empty. Routine was nice and all, but Shadow had brought the much needed chaos and break that Vio needed to not burnout in his pursuit of knowledge.
Now he had no buffer.
For weeks, he watched the nurses, listened to the doctors. They all believed Shadow to be a lost cause. But Vio’s family had taken on Shadow’s medical expenses by using the life insurance left behind by Shadow’s parents. As long as Vio kept coming, they wouldn’t let anyone pull the plug.
Even if there was no hope- as long as Vio visited, Shadow’s stasis like state would continue on.
-
“You know, he exhibits more brain activity when you’re around, Vio,” one of the doctors had commented one day, pointing to a particular line that jumped around. “Typically it’s stagnant, barely reacting to anything, but the moment you’re in the room and talking, it becomes nearly hyperactive. Perhaps one day he will wake up.”
That had given him hope.
From that moment on, that little monitor had been his life line. He spoke nearly every moment he was there, telling Shadow about his day, the things he learned and how much he wished he was there to experience it all with him. He promised he would be there one day, next to him, and they would experience everything again together.
—
There were times when Vio would grow sick, and it took nearly everything in his family to keep him from the hospital. It was awful. His other siblings and parents watched over him day and night, because when Vio’s fevers reached dangerous levels, he was known to… wander. The last time, they had put out a missing person’s report out, only to find him hopelessly lost in the city, trying to get to the hospital.
He had insisted Shadow needed company. NEEDED it.
That’s how Green found himself next to Shadow’s bed that afternoon- Vio wouldn’t rest until someone- anyone- visited Shadow.
Green sat awkwardly in the chair, only sometimes glancing up at his brother’s comatose friend. Two years now, and still Vio came everyday.
“Uh… Vio… he couldn’t come today. He’s… really sick.” Green said, wishing the silence wasn’t so oppressively heavy. “He has a really bad fever… tried to come here, but… we knew he’d never forgive himself if he got you sick when you’re like this.” Green swung his feet back and forth in the chair, watching them without really seeing.
“He misses you a lot. He doesn’t talk at home or at school anymore. Hardly talks at all, really… But I know he saves that for you,” Green smiled, “I wish you would wake up already. Vio’s moved all of your stuff in his room already. We even got a bed for you. Vio changes the sheets every Sunday so they’re fresh and ready at a moment's notice… So.. wake up. You have a home… and Vio. And us. You still have a family.”
—
Blue glared at his brother on the bed, who glared right back at him with a flushed face and hair soaked with sweat and sticking to his forehead. Vio had tried to escape again on Red’s watch, and now Blue had deemed Red incapable of watching a fever riddled smarty pants idiot that would do just about anything to get out the front door.
Green had visited Shadow earlier, and he had said the visit was good- whatever the hell that meant- but that still didn’t make Vio any less likely to get clever and escape again. His mother was still at work, would be for another hour, and their father had just left for his night time security job. It was only an hour, and there was no way Vio was going to make it past him like he had so easily with Red.
“Why bother sitting here. It’s not like I’m going to move.” Vio grumbled, still locked into the glaring match.
“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it. You got down the block by the time Red was done making you a fucking sandwich. I know how you fucking tick!”
“Mom will wash your mouth with soap for cursing,” Vio snapped back.
“Mom should beat your ass for not resting.”
“That’s entirely counterproductive to hurt someone already sick.”
“It’s counterproductive to leave the house in a t-shirt and boxers to go see your boyfriend.”
“Fuck off.”
“Maybe I would if you would fucking sleep!”
“Stop cursing- it makes you uglier than you already are.”
“What’s that say about your own ugly mug?!”
Vio huffed, turned on his side. He still felt awful for not visiting Shadow and tears burned at his eyes. He didn’t want Blue to see- but damnit, if Blue was anything, he was a crazy observant idiot and Vio hated now more than ever, Blue’s wicked sixth sense.
“Hey….” Blue muttered, the fury in his voice gone. “Look, I know you want to see him. But… like- come on! Damn it Vio! Think! He’s in a sterile room! If you get him sick- he could die.”
Vio choked on a sob, curling up.
“We’ll go visit him for you- okay!? And then when you’re better you can waste your time with him again. But you gotta get better first- okay damnit!?”
Vio nodded his head, wiping at his tears.
They stayed like that a while, Vio unable to hold in the torrent behind his eyes, and Blue keeping him company. It was only when the front door opened, which probably meant their mother was home, that Blue moved a bit.
“I’ve been thinking, Vi…”
“Did that hurt-“
“Shut up. If… his care is so important to you… why don’t you… you know- become his doctor. It’s been two years… something needs to change, right?”
The moment was soon broken by their mother, coming in with pleasantries and mopping Vio’s cheeks with a cool cloth. Blue had left to cook dinner, and Vio lay there, staring at Shadow’s side of the room as his mom spoke about her day.
Perhaps Blue was right. It had been a long time… maybe he, himself needed to be a doctor to make the changes needed to get Shadow back up and awake.
—
When Vio was finally recovered, things had changed. He sat on Shadow’s bed, watching a YouTube video on how to move comatose patients so they wouldn’t experience muscle atrophy too badly. Shadow’s muscles were stiff and hard to move, but he kept it up.
He started working harder in school, going into an extremely accelerated program to finish high school faster. He got books from the library that looked like beginning medical books, and applied to as many medical related scholarships.
He told Shadow every bit about it, how Blue- dare he say- planted the seed.
It was hard work. Vio would stay until visiting hours were closed and was back the moment school was let out and his bag was full of library books.
His parents worried about his application, wanting him to experience childhood and what not and do highschool things like debate club and prom, but Vio didn’t want any of those things. Not with Shadow not experiencing them with him.
“What’s the point?” He had asked, flipping a page in his book. He knew Shadow couldn’t answer, but at this point he was used to talking to himself. “I want to spend them with you. You would make prom a spectacle.”
—
At fifteen, Vio had managed to finish High School, and with scholarships, he was able to get into the best medical program in town and work towards his goal.
Blue made it known that he was giving up his childhood, and Vio had reminded him that this was his idea in the first place. Needless to say, Blue had stomped off, shouting that he didn’t mean to become a walking book.
Classes were a bit harder than High School and made a lot more sense. It wasn’t overly generalized pieces of information like it was in highschool, but it was consis material worth remembering and in-detail explanations.
“You know, some of this material is actually fascinating,” he had muttered to Shadow. “But truly, I think the fantasy explanations would be more to your liking. The book says those in a coma do not have awareness but… for my own sanity, I rather believe you can. Almost like an out of body experience. That’s how I see it for you.” Vio paused, looking at Shadow’s hand which had most definitely twitched- and up to Shadow’s face- where his eyelids fluttered with ocular movement behind them. Vio watched for a few moments and Shadow let out a sigh before everything went still again.
Vio smiled, watching the brain activity waves go from high and back to normal. “Figured as much. I know you’re trying to come back. I know you can hear me.”
Be it possible or not, Vio knew Shadow could hear him.
—
It went on like that for years. Anything that typically was wrong or said in an effort to get a rise out of Shadow, typically made the brain activity skyrocket and the attempts to move redoubled before it seemed like Shadow grew exhausted and stopped. It always left Vio smiling at his attempt or frowning and rethinking his view.
By eighteen, Vio was nearly through his courses and already making rounds with other medical professionals.
“It’s considered biased to work your case,” he had told Shadow. He could imagine him scoffing. “Six years is a long time to be in a coma but they want to view your case in clinicals. They did say it was up to me, since I was given power of attorney for your case. So suppose I’m asking you. Do you want a bunch of people crowding into your room, staring at your comatose body? I personally don’t want them to say a single bad thing… but I am, as I said, biased. They could provide different insights to your condition given the new advances in technology… their knowledge could be faster than my own.” Vio chewed his lip, deep within his mind for a moment. “Try move your eyes in my direction for yes, to be a test subject, or away from me for no to not be a test subject.”
Vio waited patiently a few moments, and sure enough, he could see Shadow’s eyes move in his direction. It seemed to take a lot out of Shadow though because the sigh was palpable. Vio sighed along with him, elbows on his best friend’s bed. “On the positive side of this, if I save enough money, I can just quit being a doctor when you wake up and we can travel the world. We’ll have our own prom. Just the two of us.”
It brought a smile to his lips and Vio reached forward, brushing Shadow’s hair out of his face and behind an ear. “I’ll make you presentable to be a test subject. I’ll let you decide what to do with your hair when you finally wake. It’s truly a pain to keep it from matting in the back, but I’ll figure out a solution to that one of these days.”
Vio stood, “I got to get back to my rounds, but I’ll be back for dinner. Try not to miss me too much.”
—
True to his word, the next couple of days, Vio had tidied up the room, as well as Shadow before his class was to make rounds. He had carefully washed Shadow’s hair as best he could and managed to get it into a ponytail off to the side and out of the way without any tension being on his hair. It looked good, even if it was ridiculously long at this point with millions of split ends, but he wasn’t about to cut it and make a huge mess.
He was tempted to put eyeliner wings on him, because he’s certain Shadow would have wanted that, but when he had tried on himself the night before, he deemed it a lost cause and threw out the idea. He’d tell Shadow about it later though- he’d probably get a kick out of it.
So now, he stood in a group of ten other potential doctors. They were all much taller and older than him, but Vio stood his ground and made sure his voice and presence was just as loud as the others.
“How long has he been comatose?” One of the doctors asked the attending doctor supervising them.
She had tapped her clipboard impatiently, and then looked to the smallest of the lot.
“Well, Vio?”
Vio cleared his throat, regard Dr. Impa with a raised eyebrow.
As if on cue, the brain activity monitor on Shadow’s machines started to act up into overtime.
Another doctor expressed their concern, but Vio shook his head.
“This is Shadow.” He introduced, squeezing past the others to stand at his best friend’s bedside and setting his clipboard down at the edge of the bed. “He’s been my best friend since preschool, and six years ago, he was involved in a car accident that took his parents’ lives and left him comatose. He’s the reason I’m becoming a doctor, because I want his case to be known that comatose people can be conscious and aware but unable to escape their own body.” He gestured to the brain activity monitor.
“He’s awake. He can hear you. But he can’t wake up. I’m becoming a doctor to figure out why.”
—
The rest of the clinical rounds had been boring, but the insight of many doctors, no matter how new they were, was refreshing and Vio had even taken notes to review over at his leisure.
At this point, he practically lived in the hospital, so it was no surprise to anyone when he walked in and sat down at Shadow’s bedside.
“It went better than expected,” he muttered to Shadow, resting his clipboard against him and tapping at some of the points listed. “It could be the medications your on. I did already consider that of course, but I hadn’t thought that perhaps you might be allergic to one. I’ll be putting that on the list of possibles… even if I feel like its a shot in the dark.” He pushed Shadow’s bangs out of his eyes once again and fished through his pocket to pull out a Bobby pin and slide it out of Shadow’s face entirely.
“Some of them were interesting, taking a fantasy approach and joked about true love’s first kiss. A silly prospect, but still something possibly worth putting down. Though I’m not entirely sure how I feel about kissing you when you’re unable to do anything, such as give consent,” he snorted when Shadow’s hand twitched next to his. “Verbal consent, I should say. But I’ll put it on the board, for your sake.”
He tapped at the board again. “Then we have suggestions on talking about your past and how you might feel about it. What’s keeping you to this plane of existence. A morbid thought, but so is thinking your body is a shell. I’m starting to think I’m developing an awfully dark sense of humor, and quite frankly, I need you to save me from it.”
“At any rate, I tried to make the fancy eyeliner wings for you, but i tried on myself last night and failed miserably. I hope that can make you laugh at least.” And it did, Shadow let out a wheezy single cough and relaxed into bed. Vio smiled at that, and thanked the nurse that brought him food as well as substance for Shadow. Vio filled Shadow’s tube first before sitting down to eat his own- something that had become so normal these days, that Vio didn’t even blink at it anymore.
—
He had been a doctor for two years at this point. Twenty-two years old, making rounds and seeing patients, and still Shadow was in a coma.
It got hard for a while there, but Vio was sticking to it. He had tried everything medically possible at this point and when nothing was working, he had broken down in front of Shadow and pleaded for him to wake up.
It hadn’t worked.
But it pressed Vio to work harder and harder. He earned his pay and he worked relentlessly. He accepted shifts and he was always at the hospital.
The amount of savings he had was ridiculous and he had nothing to show for it. He was starting to give up… and one day, he just did.
He stared at Shadow long and hard, same as he was all those years ago. “Shadow… I don’t know what to do… I need you here… it’s been ten years. And…” he teared up, “I’m tired Shadow… I don’t know what to do anymore.” Everything was crossed off the list… all except two things.
“I want you to wake up.”
“I need you to wake up…”
He sat there for a long time, and finally, he stood, standing over Shadow and carefully pushing the tubing attached to him aside to press a small kiss to his lips.
It went against his morals to do this… but past pulling the plug, it was the only thing Vio hadn’t tried.
He kept his lips pressed to Shadow’s at long as he could bare but as he pulled back he couldn’t contain the sob that erupted from him. He placed his head in his arms on the bed, weeping his heart out for his lost best friend.
And then…
A hand… fell onto his head.
He thought perhaps it was a nurse, but when he looked up, it was connected to Shadow. And when he continued his gaze, he saw tired blue eyes half cracked, but looking at him.
He opened his mouth to talk- but the ventilator irritated the passage and caused a massive coughing fit.
In shock, Vio slammed his hand onto the emergency call button, going into action immediately to hold Shadow down.
“I’m here- I’m here-“ He whispered as nurses rushed in, awaiting orders.
Tubes were taken off of him but a cannula replaced it- and after vitals were taken, they were left alone.
Vio was still so emotional, unable to stop looking at him, and his eyes remained glassy.
But it seemed Shadow couldn’t stop looking at him either.
At least it seemed mutual.
“Go to sleep. I’ll won’t leave you,” Vio murmured, still happy to see him. He was ignored though, but he couldn’t be too mad.
Shadow raised a hand and pressed it Vio’s cheek. “You…. Should have… tried that… earlier…” The disuse of his voice made his words so quiet and raspy.
But still, Vio snorted, wiping at his eyes with the hand that hadn’t come up to hold Shadow’s.
“There wasn’t-“
“Swear if you say consent..” Shadow wheezed.
Vio shook his head and smiled, pressing a kiss to Shadow’s hand. “What do you remember?”
Shadow smiled in return.
“Everything.”