Chapter Text
Aerith Gainsborough, the last living Cetra, was…content.
Pensive, perhaps scared and a bit unsure yet determined to hide it underneath the intense light of the actual sun illuminating her pale skin. The happiness she seemed to encapsulate was a bit of a facade but she'd been damn good at putting up a front these past five years so why should all these newly established people in her life notice the mask she'd worn since the day he disappeared?
…How could they have ever seen it slip or notice the cracks in its surface that formed only two months ago when the planet informed her that he died on his way to see her…
The flower girl stalled only a second on the road to their next destination at the sudden deep ache that reawakened once again in her chest. The pain that was so debilitating a mere eight weeks ago (it felt like a lifetime) was now a duller hurt, faded yet intense enough at times that it almost had her knees giving out beneath her.
…No.
Not again.
Push forward - just keep pushing forward…
Look ahead, not behind.
To the future, not the past…
If she continued with her fake smiles and bubbly cheery personality (the one she borrowed and kept from him), if she simply ignored the pain of her past just enough, perhaps she could get through this journey in one piece. Yet another excuse, denial of the desperate grief that trailed behind her like a foreboding shadow that refused to leave her alone. As long as she continued to ignore it, she could continue to proceed on this new frightening adventure, to find the end of the long road. All she needed to do was follow the breadcrumbs the Planet left behind and finally fulfill whatever grand destiny the planet swore it had in store for her as the last of the Cetra.
Doing what she did best, Aerith plastered on another fake smile and kept walking.
Valiantly ignoring the profound ache the mere thought of him brought up, the flower girl peered ahead along the dusty road toward her newfound friends.
The varying voices of her traveling companions carrying on a rather heated conversation/debate she didn't bother listening in on but made good background noise regardless. Keeping her mind occupied, Aerith stared at her surroundings as ever so slowly, the bleak desert of the Midgar wastes gave way to small patches of dry yellow grass and the barest hints of life. It was nothing like the lush plant-life and array of colorful flowers she'd left behind at her cozy home in Sector 5 or the church, but her meadow green eyes soaked it all in regardless.
Attention remaining steadfast ahead, on the backs of her friends, or on the ground. Determined to stay below the horizon line and away from the expansive, deepest blue sky the exact shade of his eyes…
"Color of the sky, right?"
"Yeah! But not scary at all!"
Aerith's forced smile crumbled.
Traveling companions none the wiser as she steadily kept a scant few paces behind the group.
It was hard enough to keep pushing forward with a lopsided mask, one that slipped when she mentioned his name to Cloud atop the Playground of Sector 6. Yet she kept smiling and pushing forward amidst the bubbling of this strange sensation echoing in her chest, her mask falling completely when presented with that vision Sephiroth showed her before that final battle…
The one of him.
A clear vision of a cliff with the city of Midgar looming straight ahead…
…He had been so close…
The only barrier was a battalion of soldiers. The echoing sounds of all those hundreds of guns cocking, the dazzling gleam of materia of all types ready to be used against him, swords scraping against the sand in preparation for a battle and the deafening thrum from the blades of helicopters churning menacingly as they circled overhead like ravenous vultures…
What seemed to be the entire Shinra army preparing to take down a single man - one who used to be welcomed amongst them - one of their own.
...This was how he died…
Yet through it all, his illuminating smile remained etched on his handsome face much like the cross-shaped scar on his jaw. Pretty eyes so vibrant and blue that they put the sky to shame. Spiky raven hair with tints of sapphire showcased in the illuminating glare of the sun. It was longer than she recalled, yet just as unruly as ever, soft black spikes blowing in the slight breeze of that acrid cliff-side. Warm voice strong, steady and firm without a hint of fear as he faced down those who would murder him. Hearing his voice again nearly took her breath away…it had been so long since she heard it…
"Come and get it!"
The voice she hadn't heard for five years (and now never would again) faded with the vision of him attacking the only obstacle that stood in his way in order to come home to her…
…But he never did.
Aerith's fist clenched at her side, blunt nails digging half moons into her palms.
That monster had shown her what happened.
Sephiroth in all his astounding cruelty, the Silver General, Demon of Wutai, who was once proudly titled one of his closest friends at SOLDIER, had outright smirked after showing her what had lead to his ultimate demise…
…The death of the only man she ever loved…
To be so evil, to so eagerly have shown her a vision of what took place that day was beyond comprehension. Forced to witness for herself what happened a mere two months prior. Recalling that cold, dreary rainy afternoon while she was tending her flowers only to be bombarded by this sudden explosion of pure wretched agony that took complete hold of her entire body.
Utterly paralyzed, her soul and very essence buried at the base of her ribs felt nearly ripped in two when she felt him slip through her grasp and leave her forever. The sky swallowing him whole and whisking him away to a place she couldn't follow.
This beautiful piece of pure sunlight that appeared the day he fell through the roof of her church and into her life. So easily securing her heart with nothing more than a gentle smile, kind words and those perfect blue eyes. This flickering light of pure joy and love that only continued to grow in those two years they were together, one that continued to burn even when he left like the ribbon he bought her that she continued to tie religiously in her hair. The absence didn't matter so much for she knew he was alive so she she'd held onto this essence of him so dearly, snuggled so close in her pounding heart.
Nestled alongside it lay this fragile hope that she would see him again even after five years of silence yet in the blink of an eye, it was completely snatched away and snuffed out like it never existed.
How evil Sephiroth was, to show her such a vision.
Taunting her in the knowledge that even with all her Cetran heritage and abilities, in this one instance, she was utterly powerless. Aerith couldn't save him; couldn't protect the only man she'd ever loved. She wasn't there to rescue him when he was so close to reuniting with her - mere miles from the city gates. Mocking her with images of events that already occurred, ones she could no longer change…
Because no matter what she did now, he was still gone…and he wasn't coming back.
But one thing Sephiroth didn't account for was her righteous anger.
An unquestionable hatred at all the wrongness this once proud General exuded from the black hole of his very being. As much as she desperately wanted to, Aerith could no longer change the past - she couldn't turn back the hands of time. She couldn't bring him back, he would never come home. So she weaponized her grief, her anger at the injustice of it all and pushed it into action for all she had left now was to fight.
To take revenge for the Planet as well as the man she loved…
So she did.
Along with her newfound friends, they defeated those ghosts - those whispers - harbingers of fate as they screeched and de-materialized with an explosion of light. Leaving Sephiroth alone and vulnerable, they continued the onslaught until he left with an explosion of feathers that fell to the ground in a somber realization that it wasn't over yet…not by a long shot.
Since then, the planet had been quiet, near mute even after Sephiroth disappeared with more parting taunts and the promise of his return.
After the dust settled, Aerith knew things were different yet somehow still the same. Something changed when they defeated the Whispers, but regardless of that sudden warm glimpse of hope she felt for only a split second when it started to rain as soon as they left Midgar, it didn't matter.
In the end, nothing changed the past - it was too late for that.
No matter what happened now - he was never coming home to her…
Aerith bit her lip hard enough to draw blood.
"...Aerith?"
"Hmm?" Aerith perked up immediately at the voice, her misty green eyes meeting warm cherry-cola red.
"Are you okay?" Her new friend, Tifa Lockhart, asked with a gentle yet concerned smile, "You're really quiet back there."
The eyes of the others in the group were focused on her now.
Cloud unemotional and stoic as ever yet with eyebrows furrowed in question and his own form of worry over her well-being. Barrett was giving her a patient smile yet with all the overbearing fatherly concern towards the woman who saved his daughter's life. Nanaki flashing her a wizened perceptive look that showcased the promise of questions Aerith would never be comfortable answering.
So, before any of them could even open their mouths to speak, the flower girl put her mask back on.
The freshly growing tears she wasn't aware were lingering on her bottom lash line dissipated immediately with a beaming smile lighting up her entire countenance. A smile that actually felt genuine while basking in the concern of her newfound friends she was traveling with, especially the kind barmaid she felt an immediate kinship with since meeting in the bowels of Corneo's hideout.
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine! Just a bit tired and doing some thinking is all. It's been a bit of a crazy day." she replied with a nervous giggle at the audacity of that understatement. The others looked content enough with that answer and turned back to their own conversations while Tifa's garnet eyes remained steadfast on her.
A soft smile lit up the dark-haired brunette's face even if her eyes were a bit haunted by the tragedy that had befallen the friends she'd lost in the Sector 7 plate fall. "Yeah, you could say that." Tifa kindly replied regardless.
Aerith absolutely hated herself for lying to someone so kind - yet she was determined to carry this burden alone. She'd gotten used to its intense weight upon her back and her heart. Tifa was dealing with enough, she didn't need any more weight on her shoulders. No, the pain he left behind when he walked out of the church five years ago only to die on his way back was hers and hers alone to bear. As much as she hid it beneath her smiles and cheery personality, she knew it would never fully go away…
…Hell, even the thought of his name was too painful for her to think about anymore…so she didn't.
Tifa shot her another concerned glance.
Making sure her mask was firmly in place this time, Aerith smiled sweetly at Tifa.
The Flower Girl skipping ahead to close the distance between them. Once beside her, Aerith cheekily hooked her hand onto her friend's arm. So used to acting as if her heart wasn't torn in half and a piece of her soul was missing never to be replaced, the last of the Cetra began a bubbly conversation.
Topics remaining fun, easy, and light as she strayed away from any subjects and thoughts that could hurt either of them. Matters such as another plan to go shopping in a fancy district or eating themselves stupid at a chocolate dessert buffet. Both giggling at the thought of making Cloud and Barrett their pack Chocobos, carrying all their shopping bags while Nanaki would be their ever-vigilant bodyguard. His important job would be making sure no one bothered them in the changing rooms trying on all sorts of outfits neither could afford.
Tifa laughed and Aerith's empty chest felt a bit lighter for it.
Grasping and holding on to the temporary contented feeling, Aerith continued pushing forward with her new friends by her side.
As the sun made its way across the sky overhead, the group slowly yet steadily making their way into the next city that awaited them. They continued moving forward, pushing onwards towards their next destination and stepping into an unknown (and unwritten) future.
Chocobo Bill dropped them off close to their destination and while the others were continuing towards the city at the breakneck pace to get out of the sudden sprinkle of rain, Aerith fell a few steps behind the group. Her stomach still in knots for a reason she refused to ponder on more than a surface level. Perhaps Barrett was right and she was just hungry even if the thought of food made her stomach churn unhappily in discomfort.
As the next town grew ever closer on the horizon, Aerith's eyes somehow slipped up to the sky.
The dark gray rain clouds from before faded into wisps with the gentle breeze revealing the bright sun overhead as well as the endless blue expanse that lay above.
The sight of it had her jaw clenching.
Heart in her throat, she whispered to no one in particular, "...I hate the sky…" The words were lost in the wind as she shifted her eyes back to the road ahead and forced herself to continue walking.