Work Text:
EB: dave i’m real sorry, i just don’t get what’s so hot about it.
TG: oh come the fuck on egbert
EB: i’m serious, i don’t get it!
TG: what
TG: for fucks sake
TG: its hot because its so naughty
TG: i mean are you supposed to be putting nudes of yourself on the internet
TG: no i dont think so
TG: its hot because no one is fucking paying them theyre doing it because it makes them horny
TG: okay i dont see what isnt hot about a horny girl taking pictures of her sweet sweet boobies specifically for me to fap to
EB: well, not really it’s like for any guy to fap to.
TG: a boy can dream
EB: isn’t it a turn off for you that their heads are cropped out of all of them?
EB: that’s just kind of creepy?
TG: no
TG: no no
TG: they dont want to get caught
TG: its the fucking anonymity okay
TG: you could be looking at anyones tits
TG: like you know that teacher you have the hots for
EB: boy, do i.
TG: well she could be one of those girls man
TG: she could be all
TG: hmmm i wonder what im going to do tonight
TG: that cutie patootie john in my class has me a little wound up
TG: im going to relieve some frustration by putting hot and sexy pictures of my boobs on the internet
TG: and im going to pretend hes looking at them while i flick the bean
TG: and film it
EB: okay, i guess i kind of get it.
EB: still.
EB: doesn’t it bother you how shitty and blurry some of these shots are too? i thought you like wet yourself over shit like that.
TG: yeah sometimes
TG: oh god there’s this one chick though
TG: shes simply the best there is
TG: ive been talking to her on pesterchum too
TG: http://lovecraftianwhorer.tumblr.com/
TG: check out how fucking well shot all of those pics are
TG: now there is a woman who knows her erotica
EB: all i see here is like pictures of misc japanese girls in wet uniforms and gifs of dudes sucking each other off.
TG: do i have to do everything for you
TG: the woman is entitled to post stuff that gets her wet
EB: i bet you jerk off to these homo gifs too.
EB: i bet you started following her for the gay porn before you even knew she posted self shots.
TG: stfu
TG: http://lovecraftianwhorer.tumblr.com/tagged/myself
TG: now look
EB: oh wow.
EB: dave this is going to sound really gay, but these are all so nicely lit.
TG: i fucking know right
TG: this is a girl who knows how to light underwear
TG: this is a girl who knows which are the most attractive angles from which to shoot herself touching her puss
EB: there’s a video of her petting her pink?
TG: yeah somewhere
EB: and you’ve been like... talking to this chick?
EB: is she cool?
TG: yeah shes cool for an internet hoochiemama
EB: i just found it!
EB: oh man.
TG: i know right
TG: i fucking know right
EB: oooooooooooh maaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
TG: youd better not be fucking typing one handed here egbert
TG: egbert
TG: egbert youre fucking banned from spanking the monkey to my pretend cam whore girlfriend
TG: egbert
TG: egbert youre hurting my feelings
TG: john please
TG: please dont come over my beloved lovecraftianwhorer
EB: too late.
EB: hehehehehehehehehehe!
TG: you fucker
turntechGodhead [TG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]
turntechGodhead [TG] is offline!
*
AnonymousAdonis [AA] began pestering LovecraftianWhorer [LW]
AA: Hey
LW: oh hello.
LW: to what do i owe this pleasure?
AA: Nothing I just wanted to say hi and stuff
AA: So
AA: Hi and stuff
LW: did you want to RP with me?
AA: I hate when we call it RPing fuck cant we just call it dirty talk
LW: pleasuring ourselves with the english language?
AA: Becoming a pair of cunning linguists
LW: how amusing.
LW: shall we start with a classic?
LW: what are you wearing, aa?
AA: Fuck all but a smile and a boner
AA: How about you
LW: lovely.
LW: i’d describe it to you but words are so... cheap.
AA: Really
LW: mmm.
LW: i feel we know each other well enough to go to the next step.
AA: Webcams
LW: webcams.
LW: i’ve never seen you before.
AA: Yeah I know
LW: i’m curious to see if you live up to your username.
AA: Hahah
AA: Im a little nervous about that
AA: I dunno
AA: What if youre disappointed
LW: i’m sure i wont be.
AA: Can I at least have a chance to like
AA: I dunno
AA: Take a nice picture before we go straight to webcam
LW: well, alright, that seems fair.
AA: Okay
AA: Cool
AA: So Ill talk to you in a bit
LW: alright.
LW: don’t leave me hanging for too long.
AnonymousAdonis [AA] is an idle chum!
AA: Hey
AA: I took a pic so I guess you can decide if you want to carry on
AA: Here goes
AA: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6v26bOXMV1qbisgxo1_500.png
AA: Are you there
LW: yes, sorry.
AA: How do I look
LW: well you know me, aa, i’m not one to flatter.
LW: so please believe me when i say that you’re genuinely very attractive.
AA: Please elaborate
LW: you have very nice arms. and your chest is well toned.
LW: and i like your little tummy.
LW: it’s very sweet.
LW: you never mentioned you were a natural blonde.
AA: I havent
AA: I guess I was distracted by all the dirty talk stuff hahahaha
LW: yes, i suppose.
LW: i wondered though... why you’ve only sent me a topless photo.
LW: i mean, you’ve seen countless pictures and videos of me doing all sorts and you can’t even send me a picture of your penis?
AA: I actually have one queued up
AA: It just seemed a bit forward to send you that one first
AA: Here
AA: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6v328zOQU1qbisgxo1_500.png
LW: oh.
AA: Is that a good oh or a bad oh
LW: a good oh.
LW: it’s a nice length.
LW: and it’s thick.
LW: really thick.
AA: You think
LW: mmm.
LW: i think i’d like to see you finish what you started.
AA: Seriously
AA: Like on cam or something
LW: yes.
LW: we could watch each other.
LW: :)
AA: Hell yes
AA: Hell fucking yes
lovecraftianWhorer [LW] is inviting you to videochat! [accept] [decline]
anonymousAdonis [AA] accepted!
AA: I like your panties
LW: thanks.
LW: i like your penis.
LW: why don’t you touch yourself for me?
LW: or you can start before i ask, that’s fine.
AA: sorry
LW: as long as you keep a hand on the keyboard.
AA: Okaay
AA: are you goin to start?
LW: i think i’d like to watch a little first.
AA: Thayts cool
AA: can yoiu touch yopur tits a little for mre
AA: anf i know you probably still dont waht to show your face but can you move the vcam so i can see your mouth
AA: i like it in your videos when you moan andbit your lip and stuff
LW: of course
LW: is this alright
AA: y y its great
AA: lw youre drivinh me crazy here cant you just stick your hand in your panties
AA: please
LW: do you want to see me come?
AA: yeag
AA: *yeag
AA: 8*yeah
LW: well since you asked so nicely.
AA: holy shit
AA: how wet are you
LW: rather.
AA: hahaahaha
AA: are yiu fingering yiourself or just touching yor clit
LW: a littlr of both.
LW: i wish I was getting fucjked right now.
LW: kl;
LW: shit, ignore that,
AA: looks like you got yourself oretty worked uo
LW: yes.
LW: youre hardly looking composed yiurswlf
LW: aere you close?
AA: y
LW: can i watch your face whilr you come?
AA: ye yfgyhjk 2 seconds
AA: there
AA: is thst oksat
AA: god yiurtre so fuckig hot
AA: i’l;~:;l’klm
AA: Ah shit sorry i keyboard smashed a little there
AA: Did you get the money shot you know the old
lovecraftianWhorer [LW] dropped the videochat!
lovecraftianWhorer [LW] is offline!
AA: Shit whered you go
AA: Your connection drop out or something
AA: Haha i hope my face didn’t scare you off
AA: That would be awkward
AA: I have to go Ill talk to you later
AA: I had fun
AnonymousAdonis [AA] is offline!
*
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
EB: dave blocked me.
GG: again??
GG: what the hell did you do this time!!
EB: why is it always me?
GG: because it is always you!
GG: youre a diiiiiiiiiiiiiick
GG: sometimes
GG: sometimes youre my sweet baby! but a lot of the time youre a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
EB: i like that i’m not just a dick.
EB: i’m a
EB: diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.
GG: you are though!!
GG: so what did you do :?
EB: like nothing.
EB: okay something.
EB: he was showing me one of his titty blogs again.
GG: oooo! which one?
GG: aschoolgirlsfantasies?
GG: oh! was it prettylittlefishy, because shes my FAAAAVE of all the foxy slunts dave jerks off to!!
EB: no it was lovecraftianwhorer.
EB: any way, i pretended to go jerk off to one of her videos and i clicked back on pesterchum and dave was crying.
GG: oh noooo
GG: john shes his favourite!
GG: shes his internet camwhore waifu!!!
GG: you know all those anons on her blog?
EB: the ones she’s kind of shittily rp-ing porn with?
GG: its not shitty!!
GG: anyway those are dave!!!
GG: at least i think theyre dave
GG: i dunno i dont really look at her blog much :/
GG: link me?
EB: http://lovecraftianwhorer.tumblr.com/tagged/myself
GG: best ecto-brother :B
GG: oh wow her nipples are soooo cute!!
EB: i guess??
EB: how can nipples be cute?
GG: liiiiike, i dont know i guess hers are just all little and pink, i love them!!
GG: daaaww i wish my nipples were all cute like hers
GG: mine are brown
GG: im not saying brown is a bad nipple colour or anything i just think id like PINK :D
GG: i look nice in pink, id suit cute little pink nips
EB: but jade you’re pretty brown, it’d look a little weird if you had like....
EB: hot pink nips.
GG: no it wouldnt itd be really cute!
EB: no, it’d look weird.
EB: we’re not talking about your nipples jade!
EB: focus, brown nips!!!
GG: wow sorryyyyy!!!
GG: any way i think dave is probably kind of joking, but i wouldnt kid about wagging your tail to lovecraftianwhorer again??
GG: i think he kind of really likes her!
EB: dave is so fucking weird.
GG: i know, but hes so sensitive
GG: and youre such a
GG: *deep breath!*
GG: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!
EB: i’ll tell him i wasnt really wanking to his waifu then, god.
GG: good :)
EB: i’ve gotta go to dinner now anyway.
EB: later, brown nips.
GG: byeeee!!
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
GG: JOHN!!!!!!
GG: OH MY GOD
GG: fgyfruiehsdjowfhie be online!!!
GG: youve been gone for like two hours and i just
GG: THEORIES!!
GG: oh screw this noise!!
gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
GG: KARKAT!!!!
CG: OH GREAT, HERE COME’S CAPSLOCK JADE.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT THIS TIME.
CG: DID YOUR FAVOURITE DISGUSTING FURPERSON ROLE PLAYER OFFER TO
CG: “YIFF YOUR BUTT”.
GG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
GG: also wow fuck you >:(
GG: BUT NO OOOOOOOOOKAY
GG: remember when you confessed to me that you and rose were secretly dating for like a month when you were on the asteroid thingy???
CG: UGH.
CG: YES.
GG: okay hang on a second i need you to check something for me!
CG: IS THAT ALL YOU WANTED, HARLEY, TO REMIND ME OF THAT PAINFUL AND HUMILIATING SIX WEEKS.
CG: WHAT WOULD I HAVE TO CHECK THAT WOULD BE RELATED TO MINE AND ROSE’S PREVIOUS “”RELLAAAAATIIOOOONSHIIIIIP”””.
GG: http://lovecraftianwhorer.tumblr.com/tagged/myself
CG: JADE WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME HUMAN BOOBS.
CG: WAIT.
CG: SHIT.
CG: JADE THESE ARE ROSE’S HUMAN BOOBS.
GG: !!!!!!!
CG: SHIT.
CG: FUCK.
CG: OH MY GOD.
CG: IF ONLY YOU COULD HEAR THE BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM ERUPTING FROM ME.
GG: i thought they might have been!!
GG: ooooh my gooood rgfuisbifuersw!!!!
CG: WAIT A SECOND JUST.
CG: LET US JUST.
CG: HOLD OUR HORSES FOR A MOMENT.
CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT ROSE’S HUMAN BOOBS LOOK LIKE?
GG: she has a very distinctive mole on her lefty!
GG: its shaped like a question mark :?
CG: YES.
CG: BUT HOW
CG: HOOOOOOOOOOOW
CG: HAVE YOU SEEN IT.
GG: the last time she stayed at my place, we were playing in the river and she fell out of her bikini top :o
CG: OH.
CG: OH OKAY I GUESS THAT’S PRETTY INNOCENT.
GG: it was for like two seconds
GG: but just long enough for me to notice that she had a mole above her tiny adorable nipple!! :)
CG: SO WHY WERE YOU WET A SECOND AGO, THEN?
CG: * WETTING YOURSELF.
CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL COOL ABOUT THE HUMAN PROMISCUITY STUFF.
GG: i am!!! i think its pretty cool actually i might ask her for some tips!
GG: shes sooooooo good at lighting
CG: THOSE ARE SOME VERY NICELY LIT BOOBIES.
CG: SO WHAT’S THE BIG FUCKING DEAL HERE?
GG: hang on
GG: http://lovecraftianwhorer.tumblr.com/tagged/my+favourite+little+RP+anon
GG: check out that typing
GG: elaborate, yet.....
CG: POORLY PUNCTUATED.
CG: THAT’S STRIDER, ISN’T IT.
GG: yup
GG: lovecraftianwhorer is his FAAAAVOOOURITE sexy tumblr girl
GG: he like loves her :/
CG: I FAIL TO SEE HOW THIS IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN HILARIOUS.
GG: beeecaaaaause, rose is daves sister!!
CG: AND...
GG: cultural sensitivity karkat!!
CG: WHAT?
CG: OH WAIT.
CG: INCEST IS A SOCIETAL TABOO.
CG: BECAUSE OF...
CG: PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPRINTING AND MUTANT FLIPPER BABIES.
GG: ding ding ding!!
CG: I STILL FAIL TO SEE HOW THIS IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN HILARIOUS.
GG: it kind of is i just....
GG: i dont know if i should tell them or not?
GG: what if it goes further than him anonymously rping in her askbox??
CG: ...
CG: JADE, I REALLY STILL FAIL TO SEE HOW THIS IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN HILARIOUS.
GG: thats because you suck, karkat
GG: you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
*
tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TT: Jade.
TT: I have an issue I’d like to discuss with you.
TT: It’s rather...
TT: Delicate, shall we say.
GG: did you cut your cooch shaving again???
TT: No, no, I didn’t cut my cooch shaving.
TT: Jade, I’m going to send you a picture of a nude boy.
TT: And I’d like you to tell me if it reminds you of anyone.
TT: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4e28wioFb1qbisgxo1_500.jpg
GG: thats a picture of a bluejay
TT: Is it?
TT: Oops.
TT: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4t8e6qemC1qbisgxo1_500.png
TT: There.
GG: oh gosh hello daves penis
TT: How can you recognise Dave just from his penis?
GG: davesprites might be orange and sheathed inside his tail but its still the same penis!!
TT: Ah.
TT: Before we get serious here, you are one lucky woman, Jade.
GG: ifkr
GG: ifk.
GG: So why do you have a picture of daves penis?? :o
TT: Jade, I have a confession to make.
TT: I have a secret blog.
TT: I post my “nudes” on this blog, because I find it exciting.
TT: Take from that what you will.
TT: For several months, I’ve been conversing with an anon.
TT: We’ve been pestering each other for a while, and we just webcammed each other for the first time.
TT: It was all fine and dandy till I asked him to show me his O face.
TT: Jade, my brother has been polishing his doorknob to photos of my tits for the last year or so.
TT: And he just masturbated over webcam for me.
TT: And I may have masturbated back.
GG: oh
GG: well
GG: theyre very nicely lit boobs!!
TT: You knew.
GG: yup
TT: Who else knows.
GG: john has seen the blog but he doesnt know its you and thats it!!
TT: Oh thank goodness.
GG: uh
GG: also karkat knows
TT: Why.
TT: How.
TT: Why.
GG: i needed him to confirm your boobs :(
TT: Why would Karkat know what my boobs look like?
GG: becaaaause.... he may have told me you two were secretly dating for like a month or something :o
TT: Well.
TT: Fuck.
TT: This day just keeps getting more and more cringeworthy, doesn’t it?
TT: Jade, as far as I know Dave is logged on to the alternative pesterchum account he uses to speak to my alternative pesterchum account.
TT: I closed the chat and signed out the second I saw his face.
TT: What the flying fuck do I do?
GG: well you could tell him he looked hot
TT: What?
GG: just sign back in and tell him your internet connection crapped out!
GG: you dont want to hurt his feelings do you???
TT: Oh shit, you’re right.
TT: If I drop him now he’s going to think it’s because I think he’s hideous.
TT: Which I don’t.
TT: Not in an sexual kind of way.
TT: Just aesthetically.
GG: really though rose??
GG: you just fapped on webcam for him and your attraction to him ISNT SEXUAL AT ALL??
TT: Shut up.
GG: okay
GG: but to be fair he is pretty like
GG: well
GG: girl look at that body
TT: He works out.
GG: gosh davesprite doesnt look like that
GG: i mean i love MY dave but hes no alpha timeline dave body wise
TT: He doesn’t try as hard as Dave.
GG: na hes a lot cooler
GG: rose what if we both end up dating daves? :o
TT: Oh my God.
TT: Jade seriously, shut up.
GG: are you embarrassed?? :P
TT: Oh no not at all.
TT: I just found out I’ve been dirty talking to my brother for months.
TT: It’s not like he’s seen me with my fingers in my vagina or anything though.
TT: Oh.
TT: Wait.
TT: He has.
TT: Jade how are you today?
TT: Because I’m a pervert.
GG: oh rose it okay!!
GG: dont be cry!
TT: It’s really rather hard not to be cry right now.
TT: I think I’m going to go.
TT: The kettle just boiled.
GG: maybe some tea will calm you down!
TT: It’s not for tea.
TT: I’m going to pour it over my hands.
TT: It’s the quickest way to sterilise myself
GG: rose no
GG: hot water burn baby!!!
GG: HOT WATER BURN BABY!!!!
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TG: jadey let me love you down
TG: i got
TG: so many ways to love you
TG: i dont know any more words to that song
TG: oh wait
TG: jadey ive been breakin down
TG: somethingsomethingsomething
TG: got me like
TG: oh my god
TG: in need of emotional support
TG: blah blah blah blah
TG: o o o o o o o o o o o o o
TG: omg
TG: jadey got me lovin like
TG: my oh my
TG: cause you got it all
TG: helpful and supportive from your head to toe
TG: now i really dont remember any words
GG: i was here all along :P
GG: sometimes i just like to watch you go!
TG: you skank
TG: any way jade help i have a problem
TG: a girl problem
TG: and youre the best at my girl problems
TG: seeing as youre dating a version of me
GG: a vastly superior version of you!!
TG: * a vastly superior version of me
GG: whats the matter dave??
TG: i really really fucking like this girl
GG: uh oh
TG: why uh oh
GG: wrong chat window!!! OOPSY!!
GG: i mean to be like
GG: YAAAAY!!!
TG: i dunno if its a yay thing
TG: you know lovecraftianwhorer
GG: yeah?
TG: we just went on webcam for the first time
TG: and ill be honest with you here
TG: i showed her my gonzo
TG: she showed me her miss piggy
TG: it was time to play the music
TG: time to light the lights
TG: we met the muppets on the muppet show tonight
GG: wow you can take the boy out of the puppetzone but you cant take the puppets out of the boy
TG: i cant help it
TG: any way it was a little awkward near the end
TG: should i just send you the chat log
GG: well okay!!
TG: dont click those links theyre my dick
turntechGodhead [TG] is sending a file! seriouslyjadedontlookatmycock.txt
TG: ill go make a sandwich while you read that
GG: okey dokey!!
TG: you finish it yet
GG: yep!
GG: i like your panties??
GG: hot girl goes on cam for you and all you have to say is i like your panties???
TG: stfu
TG: jade i want you to be honest with me here
TG: do you think she had like a connection issue or do you think that she signed out because she like
TG: thought i was
TG: a goblin
GG: oh my god dave!!!
GG: youre not a goblin, youre very attractive!!
TG: so you dont think thats why
GG: duh no
GG: to be honest your face is like your most positive feature!!
GG: it is the thing a girl would be LEAST likely to be put off by
GG: like idk if she managed to see past the fact that you trawl tumblr for amateur cam girls i doubt your face would be the problem here
GG: does she know about any of the other weird shit you do?
TG: she knows i have a collection of pickled dead stuff
GG: well if THAT didnt bother her
GG: she didn’t even mind the awkward dirty talk
GG: maybe she likes you back??
TG: you think
GG: shit
GG: i mean!!
GG: well maybe it was too fast!!
GG: maybe you should go back to being friends with her?
TG: what
GG: like
GG: maybe shes not ready for a relationship with you or
GG: i dont know!!!
TG: youre doing a uturn like grandma on the interstate here
TG: its my face isnt it
GG: its not your fucking face dave!!
GG: baaaaa
GG: have you ever looked at LWs pictures really closely???
GG: like not just at her tatas
GG: but at the part of her face you can see orrr i dunno her bedroom??
TG: not really
TG: should i have
GG: ugh hold on
GG: look at this one
GG: what do you see
GG: apart from a pussy!!!
GG: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6v6tc9C0I1qbisgxo1_500.png
TG: uh
TG: some weird ass cthulu post things
TG: i think thats some knit wear
TG: oh my fucking god
TG: holy fucking shit
GG: yep
TG: this is johns dad isnt it
GG: what???
TG: i was kidding
TG: obviously its rose
TG: i just wanted to lighten the mood
TG: and pretend i havent been imagining spreading my love butter on my sisters buns for the last year or something
TG: ho lee fuh king sh hiiit
TG: no wonder she signed out
TG: did you talk to her did she tell you
GG: yep!!
TG: what did she say
GG: she was horrified!!
GG: oh speak of the devil she just signed in!!
TG: oh what the dick she just started pestering me
TG: oh my fucking god my life has become a vc andrews novel
TG: and those books as fucking shit
TG: well flowers in the attic was okay
TG: idk maybe im biased because i clearly want to bone my sister
TG: what do i do
GG: go talk to her stupid!!!
TG: kill me fucking just kill me kill me and strap my body to a skateboard and try to throw it into the sun
TG: tie my corpse to the bottom of the fucking one direction tour truck and leave my body to the hormone crazed dogs
TG: let it be known that dave strider was literally incest
TG: but also hot how did i even doubt myself
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
TT: Why hello there Dave.
TT: It’s a fine day today, isn’t it?
TT: Have you done anything interesting?
TT: I haven’t.
TT: I have no reason to talk to you or anything.
TT: I just felt like checking up on my good old genetic brother.
TT: Mr Dave Strider.
TT: Who’s really the best brother a girl could ask for.
TT: You know what they say:
TT: Bros before hos.
TT: And when I say that, I mean Daves before Johns and Jades.
TT: Dersidudes before prospitutes.
TT: See what I did there.
TT: Prospitutes.
TG: hilair
TT: So, how are you?
TG: im drowning
TG: there is no sign of land
TT: Oh my, is something troubling you?
TG: oh what the fuck lalonde
TG: the jig is up
TT: It is?
TT: What jig?
TG: you know which jig
TT: Do I?
TG: ill give you a clue
TG: aint no irish jig
TG: aint no highland jig
TG: fucking 100% not one of those jigs
TT: You’ve lost me.
TG: oh well if ive lost you maybe i should go ask lovecraftianwhorer if she knows
TT: Oh shit.
TG: yep
TT: Did Jade tell you?
TG: yep
TT: Well.
TT: Fuck.
TG: yeah well fuck indeed
TG: rose what the fuck are we going to do
TT: We could try not having sex on webcam again?
TG: well duh
TT: And we need to keep this as contained as possible. No one can know outside of ourselves and Jade.
TT: Also Karkat.
TG: what woah why the fucking fuck does karkat know
TT: Jade used him to check if the boobs on my blog were my boobs.
TG: why does karkat know how your boobs are like
TT: I really don’t think that’s the most pressing issue here.
TG: i kind of think it is though
TT: The same reason you know what Kanaya’s boobs look like, Dave.
TG: karkat wanted to experiment with boys on a whim too
TT: You know what I mean.
TG: no i dont
TT: Yes you do.
TG: say it
TG: say i was karkat vantas’ fuck buddy
TT: Never.
TT: Dave, I think we need to talk about our feelings.
TT: Feelings that we might potentially have for each other.
TT: I made no secret of the fact that I found AA’s body appealing.
TG: you like my dick
TG: you said my dick was thick
TG: you wanna sit on my dick
TT: Well, not really.
TT: I wanted to sit in AA’s dick.
TT: Not yours.
TG: well fine thats cool because i like lovecraftianwhorer not you
TG: i dont think youre hot at all
TT: Fine.
TT: That’s fine because I don’t find you attractive in the slightest.
TG: good
TT: That’s that sorted then.
TG: yeah
TT: Let’s never talk about this again.
TG: fine
tentacleTherapist [TT] is offline!
turntechGodhead [TG] is offline!
*
AnonymousAdonis [AA] began pestering LovecraftianWhorer [LW]
AA: hey
AA: so i said some thing
AA: you said some things
AA: we both said some things
AA: about how we didn’t want to fuck each other
AA: some things which on my part are maybe not as true as i might have implied
AA: so hows about we pretend that like
AA: i dont know lw is also rl
AA: and you dont know aa is ds
AA: and we can just have some awesome fun
AA: which is not incest
AA: because ignorance is bliss
AA: what im trying to say is
AA: can things just go back to the way they were
AA: and can we fap together on webcam again
AA: because it was fucking hot
AA: no body has to know
AA: please
AA: rose come on answer me
lovecraftianWhorer [LW] is inviting you to videochat! [accept] [decline]