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“Here we go,” the Doctor says, stepping off the TARDIS, “an alternate universe, all for you.”
Bill laughs, following him off the TARDIS. She knows he likes her - like a granddaughter, maybe - although he’ll deny it. He’s taking her to an alternate universe, just because she asked. She jostles his arm with her shoulder, grinning madly. “An alternate universe, huh? It’s kind of dark.”
She looks around the corners. It looks like a gothic haunted house. As she pokes at a curtain, she ignores the Doctor sighing and saying “beggars can’t be choosers, Bill.”
“Nah, I’m not choosing. This is cool.” Bill tugs at the curtain, only for it to fall away and reveal some sort of humanoid thing with a skull face. Bill screams, clambering backwards towards the Doctor. “Jesus fucking Christ!”
The skull-faced person reaches out their - her? - hands. “No, no, no don’t worry,” she says, voice panicked. At the sound of her voice, Bill stops screaming and starts studying her. The first gratifying fact is that this is not some skull-faced creature and is in fact a woman wearing skull face paint.
The second gratifying fact is that, despite the sword holstered to the woman’s side, she looks nice enough.
The woman removes her sunglasses and stares Bill down with bright golden eyes. “Who the hell are you?” she asks. “You’re not from any of the nine houses.”
“No, we’re the Doctor. And Bill,” the Doctor says, stepping forwards. He inclines his head at Bill when he says her name. “What do you mean, nine houses?”
The woman scoffs. “How did you get this far in life without knowing what the nine houses were, old man?”
“Oh,” Bill says, because she likes to talk before she thinks, “we’re not from this universe.”
The woman gapes. “What the hell.” It’s not a question.
Bill turns to the Doctor. “Was I not supposed to say that?” the Doctor sighs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.
“No, Bill, you were not. We were supposed to pretend that we simply were travellers or something.”
The woman scoffs. “That wouldn’t work. Travellers couldn’t get to Canaan House. So, it’s actually a bit less concerning that you’re from another dimension or whatever. Anyways, I’m Gideon, it’s nice to meet you guys.” Gideon extends her hand, and Bill goes to take it before she notices that Gideon is wearing some sort of gauntlet with knives sticking out of it.
“Uh…” Bill says.
“Oops.” Gideon removes the knuckles and slides them onto her belt. “Sorry about that.” Bill takes her hand and shakes. Her hand is calloused. She looks up at Gideon. She’s tall, with a shock of red hair. Very, very butch. Nice… uh. Bill tries not to look at her chest, but Gideon is hot. And tall!
Gideon smirks like she knows exactly what Bill is thinking. Bill smiles back. The Doctor watches them, disgusted.
“Could you please not? Not because you’re lesbians, I don’t care about that, but because affection is gross.”
“You’re married,” Bill points out.
“And? Relevance to the situation?”
Gideon snorts. “Do you guys want a tour? I’ll have to keep you away from… Well, basically everyone, but it’s pretty cool here. And there’s plenty of hiding spots in case someone comes around.” the Doctor scoffs.
“We can handle ourselves.”
“I want to go with her.”
“Of course you do. Thank you, Gideon, we’ll take you up on your offer of a tour.”
Gideon beams, immediately leading them away from the TARDIS. The Doctor sends her (the TARDIS) a longing glance as Bill’s knuckles brush against the back of Gideon’s hand. He never likes it when companions get all romantic. It’s even worse with a woman from an alternate universe.
But Bill is smiling, so he’ll let it slide. This time.