Chapter Text
There was rarely a morning he was allowed to wake when he wanted. Today was not one of those mornings. “Sans! Sans! Sans! Wake up, Sans!”
Sans squeezed his eyesockets shut tighter with a grumble as he pulled his pillow over his skull. “Five more minnnuuuutess…”
Papyrus wasn’t having any of it though. He pulled the sheet off of Sans where he lay on his very bare-bones (heheh) mattress, turning the light on a second later while Sans protested with annoyed groans. “I have School, we have to go!”
A few minutes later, Sans was trading his slippers for shoes and wishing he’d maybe gone to bed sooner last night. Pap was real lucky Sans’ whole world revolved around him, otherwise Sans would never leave his bed. His younger brother complained about something regarding how difficult it was to wake him up. Sans wasn’t really paying much attention, his focus drawn instead to the empty kitchen cabinets and equally sad fridge situation.
Ah. Well. Just gonna have to get him something for breakfast on the way, then. He told Papyrus as much as he finished getting ready, pulling his boots on with a bit of struggle; seemed like he’d be needing another pair soon. Papyrus didn’t care about there not being any food in the house, the gravity of the situation always flying over his head. He liked getting cinnamon bunnies from the shop, anyway, since the lady who ran it and her sister at the inn usually gave him candy, too. QC, the one who ran the store, gave Papyrus a lollipop, even after Sans came up short on gold to pay her for the cinnamon bunny. His little brother thanked her quite happily, and all Sans could do was give her a meek and appreciative look, the shopkeep returning a knowing and sympathetic glance of her own. Papyrus remained oblivious. It was better that way.
The rest of the commute to School was uneventful. School, as it was aptly named by the King, was all the way in New Home, which meant they had to ride the Riverperson’s boat all the way there. Papyrus had finished his cinnamon bunny by the time they got there, and as soon as they got to the building, Papyrus nearly bowled Sans over as he hugged him. Sans made a small oof, realizing that the gap in height between him and his younger brother was closing steadily, as he'd stopped growing, and Papyrus just kept sprouting. “Have a good day, Pap.”
“I will! Have a good day at work, brother!!” Papyrus replied cheerily, pulling himself away from Sans and running eagerly into School. With guilt washing over him, Sans watched until Papyrus disappeared amongst the other monster kids, starting his long walk back to Snowdin.
~~~~~~
The bells above the door of the dimly lit diner tinkled as Sans walked in, followed soon after by a chorus of monsters happily greeting him. “Sans!” “Heya, Sansy!” “Hey, Sans, where ya been the past couple’a days, buddy?”
Sans returned their hellos with winks and finger guns as he shuffled further into Grillby’s, pulling himself up onto one of the seats at the bar. The door to the fire exit swung open a few moments later, and out stepped Grillby himself- well, Grillby Jr, who’d inherited the place when Grilby Sr fell down a year ago. “Sans. Are you here to pay your tab finally, or to make it higher?” The flame monster greeted him quietly, polishing a glass before putting it under the bar.
“You know me, Grillbz.” Sans replied with a wink, stretching his grin a bit further. Sans couldn’t see Grillby’s eyes under his glasses- did flame monsters even have eyes? They must, considering both Grillby Jr and Grillby Sr needed glasses- but Sans assumed Grillby rolled his eyes in reply. “Nah, I’m just yankin’ your chain. I just wanted to stop by and see if you need help with anything-”
“Lose another job, did we?” Grillby interrupted, leaning down on the bar with a raised brow. There were a lot of times when the permanent grin on Sans’ face felt wrong; this was one of those times. “How many does that make now?”
“Eh, I lost count a while ago.” Sans replied sheepishly.
Sans watched as Grillby peered around the room, seeing if anyone was paying attention to their conversation. It seemed the patrons were preoccupied, a few members of the Guard sitting around a table with their drinks, telling stories, the drunk bunny seemingly passed out on a table near the door. “You know I can’t hire you again, Sans. I’ve got a business to run, and a family to take care of, and you’ve burned me too many times already.”
“Heh, good one.” Sans replied a bit dryly as embarrassment washed over him in spades.
“I’m sorry, Sans, you’re just not reliable enough.”
Sans huffed a small sigh but tried not to let his disappointment show in his expression or words. After all, he didn’t really deserve anything from Grillby after all the trouble Sans had caused him in the past- sleeping on the job, showing up late, sometimes not even showing up at all. He was lucky Grillby even talked to him, much less let him keep coming in and having what might as well be free meals since it didn’t seem he ever really expected Sans to pay his tab. “Hey man, I get it. Sorry to bother ya.” And so he pulled himself down from the barstool, turning to leave.
“Wait a moment.” Grillby said, and Sans turned back around, looking up at the flame monster. “I’ll give you a quick job to do for some gold, if you really need it that bad. This is a one-off thing, though.”
There was sweat dripping off his skull by the time Sans finished mopping the floor and wiping down the tables. The diner was empty by then, though wouldn’t remain so for much longer, given the lunch rush. The few times Sans had been properly employed here, usually ‘round about now was when he’d be nodding off for a nap. Today though, given how Grillby was sticking his neck out for him, Sans managed to keep himself upright. A Herculean task, no doubt, but somehow he triumphed over his persistent tiredness and the aching of his bones.
Sans flopped down in one of the booths when he finished wiping down the tables, heaving a tired sigh and closing his eyes for a moment. Maybe he would take a nap after all; or at least, that’s what he thought, right before there was the familiar sound of ceramic against wood, and Sans opened his eyesockets to see Grillby setting a plate with a burger and fries on it in front of him. Sans couldn’t quite tell, but he thought there was maybe a slight smile on Grillby’s face. It was really difficult to read the other monster’s face, what with it being made of fire. A moment after he sat the plate down in front of Sans, he sat another plate on the table across from him, sliding into the booth and beginning to eat quietly. “Thanks, Grillbz.”
Grillby gave him a nod. “You’re welcome.”
Sans, as he so frequently did, was getting pretty dangerously tired by then, so it took everything he had not to inhale the burger and fries in the hopes the magical energy might give him a boost. As they ate, Sans pulled his flip phone out and checked the time. A couple hours yet before he had to get back to New Home and get his brother. Maybe he could sneak in a quick snooze at home before then... No, he should probably go look for a new job, or maybe take whatever little money he earned here and what little gusto he had left to go get groceries, or just do something productive instead of sleeping the day away. When the two of them finished eating, Grillby picked both his and Sans’ empty plates up and took them to the kitchen quietly, returning a moment later. Behind the bar, Sans heard the cash register ding before being shut again, and Grillby walked across the room, sitting down in the booth again before setting the handful of gold coins on the table in front of Sans. “Thank you for cleaning up in here for me.”
“Thanks for giving me a chance.” Sans replied with a wink, wanting the awkward, guilty feeling in his nonexistent gut to go away. “You do a lot more for me and my brother than I really deserve.”
The flame monster before him sighed quietly, his voice just as soft when he said, “I’ve gotta cut you off until you foot your bill, Sans. I can’t afford to keep giving you freebies all the time. We really need the money right now. And you’ve got to learn to keep a job for longer than a few weeks.”
It was a rather humbling moment that only cemented something Sans had already reached the conclusion of himself. “Yeah.” He agreed easily. “I know.” Then, he stood to his feet, pocketing the gold before sliding out of the booth. “Thanks for the food and the work, though. I appreciate it a lot.”
Sans turned toward the door to leave, taking a second or so longer to see if Grillby was gonna say anything on his way out the door. It didn’t seem like he was, so Sans picked his pace up to leave, until, “Take care, Sans.”
Hand on the door, Sans paused. “You too, Grillbz.” And then he stepped out into the snow.
~~~~~~
Gaster hated starting his day. Obviously, since they were sealed underground, he didn’t have to worry about sunlight coming in his windows and blinding him awake, though he wondered if he’d prefer that since there were a lot of other undesirable traits mornings underground shared with surface mornings; it would at least be nice to every now and then have some kind of warmth or color in the cold, grey, dreariness of New Home. Why he ever decided to settle in New Home, Gaster didn’t quite know. Waterfall was his home for a large portion of his childhood, and it was always full of the most beautiful jewel tones, with tons of bugs and frogs and plants to examine. New Home by comparison made the whole world feel like it lost all its color, nothing but towering brick buildings and paved streets of monochrome.
He didn’t like Hotland, either, but he didn’t have much of a choice of being there, considering that’s where the lab was. And so, every morning, he would pull himself out of bed, get showered, dress, and maybe choke down something to eat but more likely, he’d just have a cigarette and a cup of coffee for breakfast instead. Then, he’d be on his way to work. The lab in Hotland was a decent enough distance from his apartment in New Home, and there weren’t any ferries or anything on this side of the underground, so every day, he walked.
Someone else who walked quite a bit was King Asgore, who Gaster would run into almost every morning as the king got done dropping his son off at School. Today was another one of those days, Gaster strolling past a hundred monster kids just as Asgore left the small Prince with a big hug and kiss on the head, bellowing after him, “Be good, my child!” before the large Boss Monster turned to him, knowing like clockwork that the scientist would be there. “Howdy, Gaster.” He greeted him with twinkly eyes, just as he did every time.
“Good morning, Asgore.” Gaster replied. “How is the missus?”
Asgore answered him as the pair of them kept walking toward the Lab. “Doing well, I believe. She started learning more recipes last week. She loves baking. Oh, and I found her a joke book from the surface a few weeks ago. I do not find it quite as amusing as she and Asriel do, but it makes me happy, to hear them laughing. I think it helps her to not think about us being trapped down here.”
“Your son seems to be growing rather quick.” Gaster commented with a small smile, remembering when the boy was still being carried around by Toriel everywhere, not much bigger than a sack of flour.
Asgore chuckled heartily. “Yes, he is. He becomes more and more rambunctious every day.” The look on the king’s face softened after another moment, his mirth melting away as it gave way to something sadder. “I wish he had more friends to play with. Toriel and I are always so busy, and it’s been so long since either of us were children. It doesn’t seem to bother him much, but I still worry.”
Gaster nodded in understanding. “It’s important for kids that age to have people they can relate with. I’m sure he’ll make some friends soon.”
Asgore looked uncertain. “I hope so. His teachers tell me he does not spend much time with the other children, and that he is often in a world of his own… I hope there is not anything upsetting him that I am missing.”
Gaster reached up to pat Asgore on the back. “I’m sure your boy is alright, he’s probably just going through a quiet phase. He’d tell you or his mother if there were something going on, would he not?”
Asgore nodded a bit in response, though there was still hesitance in his expression. “You are probably right. I do not think he would hide anything from me or his mother...” Any uncertainty he felt didn’t linger on his face for long, though, because one moment he looked worried, the next, he had his happy-go-lucky face on again, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and reaching up to his eyes. “I apologize for rambling, dear friend. How have you been faring?”
“Just fine.” Gaster answered shortly as they began walking through the CORE. “I’ve been looking at solutions to our issue with the Undernet going down when the system is filled with excessive amounts of energy. My research on the Barrier has unfortunately remained stagnant. I'm making great progress on my other projects, though, I have been working late frequently as a result. It isn’t like there’s anyone waiting at home for me, though.”
He wasn’t trying to garner any sympathy or make the King sad, but a look of concern still washed over the big Boss Monster’s face. “I worry about you being in that Lab all day by yourself… I would check on you more often if I weren’t so busy all the time.”
“It isn’t a big deal.” The scientist replied bluntly. “I’ve been alone for most of my life. It works better that way. I’m a busy man, I’ve no need for camaraderie or companionship.”
The King pouted a bit. “You and I are friends, are we not?”
“Yes, of course,” Gaster replied. “I also consider the Queen a friend. There you go, see? I have two friends. I don’t need more of them, it would just be a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Why would you say such a horrible thing?” Asgore asked, face falling further.
The answer was quite simple, really, and Gaster answered it very matter-of-factly. “You can’t be hurt by losing someone if you have no one to lose.”
“Still, it must be so boring and sad, locking yourself away in that Lab all day, never talking to anyone?”
“It’s quiet. I like it.”
“You never want any kind of help or company at all…?”
“Unnecessary. I don’t need help to do my job, I know what I’m doing. Anyone else would just distract me or get in the way.”
The pair had made it most of the way through the CORE by then and were almost at the Lab. Gaster couldn’t wait to end this conversation and drown himself in his work. Asgore, on the other hand, seemed content to keep pushing. “What if you change your mind someday, but have already pushed everyone away by then?”
“Then I’ll live with the consequences of my actions. It will be no one’s fault but my own.” And, Gaster felt like a bit of a cocky (but correct) jerk when he added, “It’s not like anyone will forget about me after all of my contributions to our people.” Not that he really felt like he'd contributed all that much, but the rest of the underground seemed to think he had, so.
That answer didn’t seem to be what Asgore was looking for, but as a man of science and logic, Gaster refused to sugarcoat anything. He could tell the King was deeply dissatisfied with what he had said, brows furrowing as an emptiness filled his eyes. The King heaved a heavy sigh. “I hope you do not live to regret such a choice, my friend.”
Gaster was growing indignant by then, not bothering to hide it as he crossed his arms with a slightly sour expression. He fought the urge to stare at the ground, knowing his glasses would likely fall off the bridge of his nose if he did. “With all due respect, I’m fairly certain I won’t, your Majesty.”
For some reason, he kind of wanted Asgore to stay mad at him, even though Gaster knew it wasn’t possible for Asgore to stay mad; or, at least, he’d never seen the King carry a grudge for longer than a few hours in the several years he’d known him. Asgore and Toriel were some of the last few monsters in the underground who’d been alive during the War, and neither of them seemed even a little mad at the humans.
The King did not stay mad at him, as Gaster had predicted he wouldn’t. Instead, Asgore waited until they reached the Lab. As they stood outside the big metal building, the king put his hand on Gaster’s shoulder. There was sadness behind his smile. “Might I share a thought with you before you go in to work, friend?”
“Of course.”
Asgore’s big hand slid gently off Gaster’s shoulder as he looked around, thinking of the words he wanted to use. “For a very long time after the War, Tori and I did not want to have any offspring. We did not think it would be fair to trap another monster down here, even if they would never have known the wonderful joys from the surface that were taken from us. We thought it was selfish to want to raise a child in a place like this.”
Gaster remained quiet as the king talked, a feeling of dread in his nonexistent gut.
The King’s face grew even sadder still. “I still feel that way, sometimes, but… she desperately wanted to be a mother, and I would be lying if I said I had not wondered for a long time what it would be like to be a father. We decided, eventually, that an eternal life was not worth living without loved ones to share it with. I understand that our time here is limited now, but… you were born with a limited amount of time. You should not take that time for granted and bury yourself in work and isolation until you Fall Down.”
Seeing the King so genuinely worried over him and his future made Gaster feel like the scum of the earth. Much as he felt for the big guy… he couldn’t say he could completely empathize. He’d already spent so much of his life in a loveless existence, and for the longest time, it hadn’t bothered him. It wasn’t gonna start bothering him now. Not when he'd done all the work that he had to bury those feelings. And, even if for some reason he did start feeling that way, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t imagine anyone in the underground besides the King and Queen who’d ever do anything more than tolerate him. There wasn’t any point in hoping for a way out of the underground, so it wasn’t like Gaster was gonna find any friends or loved ones on the surface. His family was gone, as were most of the other skeleton monsters, only a handful of them left. Any possible friends or otherwise that he could have were all figments of the King’s imagination.
Judging by how he somehow looked even more downtrodden, Gaster guessed that Asgore could tell that his words hadn’t reached him. “Would you humor me with a favor?” He asked. Gaster nodded. “Please do not ignore my words so carelessly, my friend. If you still will not heed my advice, I would ask that you at least think about it, even if only a few seconds more. Would you do that for me?”
That feeling of guilt continued to weigh down on Gaster’s soul like the heaviest burden. He didn’t want to think any further on the subject, felt he had already more than made up his mind and there was nothing that was gonna change it. At the same time, he didn’t want to tell one of his two friends in the world that he was out of his mind for thinking any of this possible for Gaster. Terrible as it made him feel, though, Gaster smiled up at the King. Asgore didn’t seem to pick up on it when he lied through his teeth, telling him he would think on it a little longer. The awful feeling wormed its way up his spine until it was twisting around his soul as Asgore expressed happiness with him, wishing Gaster a good day before leaving the Royal Scientist to take care of his duties.
Gaster didn’t think on the subject for even a single second longer, turning on his heel and walking into the Lab to work and work and work. It was all there was in this world for him.