Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Six years ago

“Fuck you, you piece of shit! Gonna lay hands on my sister like that? Fuck you! I’ll fucking kill you, motherfucker!”

“Mickey, stop!! Please stop!! You’re gonna kill him!”  

“Good! That’s the least of what this son of a bitch deserves, Mandy!!”  

“Shit! The cops are coming, Mick! You gotta go!!”  

“Not without you, Mandy, and not until this asshole learns not to put his hands on you!”  

“Mickey, you’re on probation!!”  

“Fuck that and fuck those cops! I’m not leaving without you!”  

When the cops got there, all they saw was Mickey holding a crowbar as he stood over a man who was lying motionless in the fetal position. One look at Mandy’s arms and face told them all they needed to know, but even in this case, the law was still the law, and Mickey had broken it. They had to arrest him but agreed to stay at the house until the ambulance got there to take Mandy and her piece of shit boyfriend to the hospital. It was later that night that Mickey found out the boyfriend had died from excessive internal bleeding, and he was being charged with third-degree murder.  

For a public defender, his lawyer didn’t suck too badly, and he managed to talk the prosecution down from a possible 25-year sentence to a plea bargain of 10 years, with possibility for parole after 5. His lawyer explained to him that this was probably the best deal he was going to get, especially considering that he’d broken probation. Mandy had been livid that he was being sentenced with any time at all, but Mickey assured her he’d keep his head down and do his time and that he’d make sure he did everything he could to get paroled as soon as he could.  

And that’s exactly what he did. Every now and again, a few guys would try to prove how tough they were and start shit, but Mickey usually managed to either avoid them or make a deal with them so he didn’t fuck things up for himself.  

About a year into his incarceration, the prison psychologist asked to meet with him. He rolled his eyes but went anyway, and when he walked into the office, he was met with a petite blonde woman who looked like she would fall over from the tiniest push.  

“Ah, Mr. Milkovich, have a seat. I’ve been going through the files of some of the inmates here, and I found yours pretty interesting.”  

Mickey fixed her with a bored stare, “Okay…and?”  

She closed the file on her desk, “Looks like you’ve been through some pretty serious shit, Mr. Milkovich.”  

Mickey snorted, “Yeah, who hasn’t?”  

“What’s interesting, though,” she looked him directly in the eyes, “is that there doesn’t seem to be any malicious intent in any of the things you’ve done.”  

“The fuck does that mean?”  

“Well, it means that the crimes you’ve been charged with in the past…possession of drugs with intent to sell, shoplifting, breaking and entering, and third-degree murder…they don’t read as the actions of a violent criminal.”  

Mickey snorted, “Yeah, well, the great state of Illinois would disagree with you there, doc.”  

“They read to me,” she continued, “as the actions of survival and protection.”  

Mickey’s eyes widened as he looked at her, and he stood up to leave, “I don’t fucking need this.”  

“Sit down, Mickey.”  

For a small woman, her voice was commanding, and Mickey found himself sitting right back down in his chair.  

“I don’t want to talk with you because I think there’s something wrong with you, Mickey. I want to talk with you because I think you have a lot of potential to do something good with your life. Interested?”  

The psychologist, Dr. Lane, had started meeting with him once a week. It had taken a few weeks of mostly one-word responses on Mickey’s part, but eventually, he started opening up. He’d always thought prison psychologists were a joke, but he found himself telling Dr. Lane (who he’d just called Doc for the time he was there) about his traumatic upbringing, about learning how to do what he needed to in order to get money and food and pay for the bills for electricity and water and heat, about Mandy’s shitty (now dead) ex-boyfriend and how many times he’d beaten her while they were together. It took almost a year, but Mickey also finally told Dr. Lane that he was gay. He could still remember her reaction.

“Thank you for telling me, Mickey. Have you ever told anyone else?”  

The fact that that was her only reaction was a shock, and he told her as much.

“It’s my job to remain neutral, no matter what someone shares with me, Mickey. But I have to tell you, I kind of already knew.”  

He had been completely dumbfounded at how she could possibly know that and couldn’t respond to what she’d said. He remembered how Dr. Lane had been unable to hold back a smile at the shocked expression on his face. Finally, she had repeated herself, and he had responded that the only person who mattered in his life was his sister, and that she knew.

“Mickey, don’t take it personally. I have kind of a sixth sense when it comes to these things. I am glad that you trust me enough to share that with me, though.”

Eventually, he’d told her about his dad and what had happened after he caught Mickey with another guy. It was his deepest and darkest secret and one he tried (and failed) to forget every single day. It had been the first (and only) time he’d told the details of that day to someone besides Mandy, and he had cried after he did. To Dr. Lane’s credit, she didn’t try to hug him or touch his arm comfortingly or anything like that. She just scooted a box of tissues to the edge of her desk, which put them within his reach. When his tears finally started to slow, she quietly said one thing that still stuck with him 6 years later.

“Mickey, that is an awful thing that happened. Your father is a horrible person, and what happened to you is not your fault. Talking about it requires a lot of courage. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any differently.”  

He had nodded at the time, and when he walked out of her office that day, he felt lighter somehow. What had happened to him that day had been horrific, and someone he trusted (outside of Mandy) telling him that it wasn’t his fault and confirming that what happened was horrible helped him start to shed a weight that had been on his shoulders ever since the day it happened.

He continued going to see Dr. Lane the rest of the time he was in prison, and when his first opportunity for parole was approaching, she was the one who had ultimately set him on that path to where he was headed now. 

“When’s your parole hearing?”  

“It’s a week from today, Doc.”  

“You nervous?”  

“Nah, just ready to get out of here.”  

“Mickey, it’s okay to be nervous.”  

“Aaahh, fuck…it feels stupid to be nervous. It’s a chance to get out of here. Shouldn’t I be excited about that?”  

“Change can be scary. Have you given any thought to what you’ll do when you get out?”  

“Eh…not really. Mandy said I can come stay with her while I’m figuring things out, but I haven’t even had my parole hearing, Doc. Let’s not start planning the rest of my future just yet.”  

“Mickey, you’ve been a model inmate since you got here. You’ve kept to yourself, done what you needed to do. You’ve helped out with extra tasks on work duty. I’ve given my recommendation for parole. Hell, the freaking warden gave his recommendation for parole, and that never happens! Nothing is for sure until it happens, but I think it would be a good idea to start making some plans for the future.”  

“Shit, okay…like what, Doc?”  

“Have you ever heard of Peer Support Specialist training?”  

“No, the fuck is that?”  

“A Peer Support Specialist is someone who has a psychiatric diagnosis or a substance use disorder who has been incarcerated or in a treatment facility. You have to have been out of said facility for a year, and you have to be psychiatrically stable to start the training.”  

“What the fuck kinda psychiatric whatever do I have then, Doc? Is this your way of telling me I’m crazy?”  

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”  

“Fuck…yeah, okay.”  

“Anyway, as I was saying, a lot of shelters and community agencies are starting to hire Peer Support Specialists to have on staff. People have a tendency to trust and listen to those who have genuine ‘lived experience’ over licensed mental health professionals. You’ve gotten your GED while you’ve been here, haven’t you?”  

“And, what? You’re saying I should do that? The fuck do I have to offer people, huh? And yeah, I got that shit about a year ago.”  

“Excellent! Now, picture yourself as a teenager, Mickey. If you’d met someone like you then who showed you that life could get better and offered you understanding and support, how would your life have been different?”  

“Okay, Doc. Point taken.”  

“Here’s a brochure, Mickey. Look it over and give it some thought. You don’t have to do it, but I think you’d be really good at it. I also think it would be really good for you.”  

He’d taken the brochure back to his cell to look at, and the following week, he was granted parole. As he walked out of the prison doors a few days later, he felt something completely foreign to him.

It was hope.

So, now here he was just over a year past his release date. He’d completed the Peer Support training hours the previous week and was immediately connected with an agency that offered support and shelter to adolescents who had run away from home or who had been removed from their homes by the state and put in the system or who had been thrown out by their parents. He still had to complete 2,000 hours of supervision before he could take the certification exam, but at least it was a job he’d actually be getting paid for, so he couldn’t complain too much.

He walked down the sidewalk whistling to himself. He couldn’t believe he actually felt happy and excited about starting this new job he was headed to. He arrived at the address he was given and saw a rundown sign over a doorway that read Hopeful Place.

It didn’t look like much at first glance, but maybe it would be better on the inside. He wasn’t sure if he should knock or walk in, so he tried the door. When he found it was unlocked, he opened it and walked into the entryway.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but when he walked in, he found himself in an empty hallway with an open doorway at the end. Taking a deep breath, he continued down the hallway, and when he got to the doorway, he peered in. There was a large recreation room of sorts, but no one was in there, either.

“Hello? Anyone here?”

“Coming!” he heard a voice come from somewhere, but it sounded far away. Finally, he heard what sounded like footsteps coming closer, and he turned in their direction.

The person who Mickey guessed the voice belonged to stepped into the rec room, and if Mickey believed in shit like this, he would’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat as he was faced with a tall, toned, gorgeous redhead in front of him. It was like staring at a perfect sunrise, and Mickey was silent until he realized this gorgeous stranger was talking to him.

“Sorry, man, I didn’t catch what you said.”

Then the redhead smiled, and Mickey’s heart did that weird thing again.

“I said, ‘Hi, I’m Ian, one of the peer support counselors here. Are you Mickey?’”

Ian stuck his hand out to greet Mickey, and Mickey reached out his hand as if on autopilot. The moment Ian’s hand touched his, Mickey almost jerked his back because of the spark that was traveling up his arm from the simple touch of his hand against Ian’s.

Ian looked at him like he was waiting for a response, so Mickey shook his head a little and said, “Oh, yeah, fuck, ‘m sorry, yeah, I’m Mickey.”

Ian’s smile deepened, “It’s really nice to meet you, Mickey. We’re excited to have you here with us at Hopeful Place. Come on, and I’ll give you the tour.”

Ian gestured to the hallway, “Of course, you’ve already seen the grand entryway when you came in. This is the recreation room. I guess that’s kinda obvious. It’s quiet right now because the kids who stay and come through here are at school. After school gets out, well, you’ll understand why it’s nice that it’s so quiet right now.”

Mickey smiled at Ian’s easy demeanor as he showed him where the offices were and introduced him to the licensed social worker, Mary, who headed up Hopeful Place and supervised Ian, himself, and the two other peer support specialists on staff.

“She can come across a little gruff, so don’t take it personally,” Ian whispered to him before he knocked on an office door.

“What’dya want?” came the reply.

“It’s Ian, Mary. Our newest peer support trainee is here.”

A pause, and then, “C’mon in, Gallagher.”

Ian pushed the office door open, and Mickey had no idea what he was expecting, but the woman sitting behind the desk was almost as short as Dr. Lane with a huge set of black curls piled on top of her head.

“Mary, this is Mickey. Mickey, this is Mary.”

Mary gave him a once over as if she was sizing him up. It made Mickey a little uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to let this woman who looked like she only came up to his shoulders intimidate him. When her eyes reached his face, he cocked one eyebrow at her, then said, “It’s nice to meet you, Mary.”

She gave him a small smirk, “So, Milkovich, huh? I gotta say I never would’ve expected for one of you to darken our doorstep,” then she shifted her eyes to Ian, “but I never would’ve expected that for a Gallagher, either.”

Mickey wasn’t really sure how to respond, and he didn’t have to as Mary continued, “I think it says a lot about a person when they put forth the effort to do better than their family namesake. Welcome aboard, Milkovich. Glad to have you here with us.”

Mickey looked at Ian who gave him a knowing smirk and nodded, so Mickey replied, “Yeah, uh, thanks. I’m glad to be here.”

Mary turned back to her computer, “Finish giving him the tour, Gallagher, then give him a rundown of the schedule. I’ll see you guys out in the rec room when school lets out.”

Ian gestured for Mickey to walk in front of him out of Mary’s office, and as soon as he had shut her office door back, Mickey turned to him.

“You weren’t fucking lyin’, man.”

Ian chuckled, “Told you. She’s really great with the kids, though. And they all love her. They look up to her as kinda the parent they never had, I guess.”

“Does she call everyone by their last name?”

Ian nodded, “Oh, yeah, you can expect to be ‘Milkovich’ from now until whenever you decide you don’t wanna work here anymore. Geneva is ‘Müller,’ and Ash is, well, Ash, but only because Mary can’t pronounce their last name.”

“Their?”

“Oh! Yeah, Ash is non-binary, so they don’t identify as male or female, hence ‘they/them/their’.”

Mickey nodded, “Gotcha. And you’re Gallagher?”

“That I am. Geneva and Ash call me Ian, but I’ll answer to either one, so you can call me whatever you want to.”

“Anyone call you ‘Red’?”

Ian laughed, “Not since I was in elementary school.”

“Can I call you that?”

Ian got a little flustered, and Mickey could make out a tinge of pink in his cheeks.

“I…maybe…why don’t you get to know me first before we start with the nicknames, Blue Eyes?”

Mickey’s eyes widened, and Ian’s did, too. Ian clamped a hand over his mouth as he realized what he’d just said. To say he was mortified was an understatement.

“Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I have no idea where that even came from…I just…can we just erase the past 60 seconds and pretend like I didn’t just say that?”

The pink in Ian’s cheeks had deepened to a bright red, and Mickey felt himself blushing a little, too. He was an out and proud gay man, so there was no reason to hide the fact that he found Ian attractive…or that he liked that Ian liked the color of his eyes.  

He bit his lip as he grinned at Ian, “It’s okay…I, uh, I liked it.”

Mickey watched as a huge, bright smile came to Ian’s face, and their eyes held for a few seconds. Reality seemed to hit Ian first as he shook his head a little bit, and he said, “I, uh, why don’t I take you through what we do here once the kids get out of school?”

Mickey smiled, “Yeah, Gallagher, let’s do that.”

Ian had taken Mickey on a walk-through, showing him the door that led to the dorms where the kids who stayed, then he showed him the study room, the TV room, the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the recreation room.

They went back to the kitchen, and Ian started pulling out snacks from a large cabinet and putting them in a basket.

“Let’s see. It’s 2:30 now, and school lets out at 3. We have snacks ready for the kids as soon as they get back from school. We let them chill and relax for about 30 minutes, and then we break up into small groups to check in about their days and if they have any issues they’ve shared in the previous days in group. That can take anywhere from 10-30 minutes, depending on what’s going on with the kids. They mostly all know each other and are used to each other now, so they tend to talk more when they’re around people they know. After that, we have study time for those who have homework from 4-5. We do what we can to help them, and that time is also when we check in with the kids individually who might have stuff going on and not want to talk about it in small group. After that, we have a rotation of mostly the older kids who come in here to help us with dinner. Dinner is served at 6, then everyone helps with clean-up, and our shifts end at 7. Do you have any questions?”

Mickey looked a little overwhelmed as he shook his head, and Ian smiled at him, “It takes some time to get used to the schedule, but once you do, it’s pretty easy to follow. Stick with me for today, and then you can rotate to Geneva and Ash tomorrow and the next day to see how they do things. We all have different lived experiences, so we all have different approaches to how we interact with and support the kids. The most important thing to remember is to meet them where they are.”

Mickey furrowed his brow, “The fuck does that mean?”

Ian gave him another genuine smile, “It means that you can’t help someone unless you get on their level first. You have to understand where they’re coming from before you can know how to help them.”

Mickey nodded, then asked, “So, how long have you been a peer support specialist?”

Ian smiled, “I got certified about 3 years ago, and I’ve been here for almost 2 years.”

Mickey nodded again, “That’s really cool. Are you, uh, related to Frank by any chance?”

Ian rolled his eyes and groaned, “Yes…he’s my…step-dad? Uncle? Both, I guess, but let’s just say that Monica really liked one of his brothers, and I, well, I look exactly like him. I met him once, so you know, two and two together and all that.”

Mickey nodded, “So, you’re South Side through and through, then.”

Ian shrugged, “Yeah, I guess you could say that. It’ll always be a part of me, but I’m trying to take the lessons and the good parts of it and leave the bad parts of it behind, I guess. Hard to do when it’s both the good and bad parts of your lived experience that lead you here, though.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean.”

They both gave each other small smiles of understanding, and Ian said, “So, since we’re connecting last names and everything, I guess that would make you related to Terry?”

A shadow crossed over Mickey’s face, “In last name only. In every other way, that bastard is dead to me and has been for years. The only family who I still consider family is Mandy.”

A light of recognition shone in Ian’s eyes, “Oh, yeah! I think I remember her! She and I were in the same grade and had a few classes together, but outside of class, I was always busy with ROTC and my job and my family. She always seemed really nice in a ‘South Side, mess with me, and I’ll beat your ass’ kind of way.”

Mickey laughed at Ian’s description, “Yeah, that pretty much describes Mandy. She and I actually have an apartment together in Near West Side. It’s still on the South Side part, but nowhere near as shitty as the house we grew up in.”

Ian smiled, “Nice. I, uh, I mostly live on the West Side, but every now and then, I’ll go stay with my brother and his family.”

Mickey smiled and teased Ian a little, “West Side, huh? A little bougie, ain’tcha? Movin’ on up and all that?”

A tight smile appeared on Ian’s face, “Well, it’s not…it’s…”

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence because it was about that time that they heard a door slam open and the voices of the kids coming down the hallway.

A more genuine smile came to Ian’s face, and he said, “Get ready. It’s showtime.”

Chapter Text

Nothing could’ve prepared Mickey for the number of kids who poured into the kitchen of the agency or how loud they all were. It took him a few moments and some deep breaths before he jumped in to help pass out snacks.

Most of the kids looked at him with curiosity, but there were a few wary stares here and there. He didn’t take it personally, though. He remembered what it was like to be a teenager and to be cautious and untrusting of anyone new.

There was a small girl who looked like she couldn’t be any older than 10 who was staring up at him with wide eyes. She didn’t have a snack yet, so Mickey leaned down with an orange and a pack of peanut butter crackers in his hand.

“Hey, I’m Mickey,” he introduced himself, “would you like a snack?”

The girl’s eyes widened even more, and she scooted closer to Ian and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt.

Ian looked down and smiled at the girl, “Hey, Hannah, what’s up? Did you get a snack?”

She didn’t take her eyes off of Mickey but motioned for Ian to lean down closer. He did, and Mickey overheard her ask, “Who’s that?”

Ian turned and smiled at Mickey, then turned back to Hannah, “Oh, that’s Mickey. He’s new here. He started today, and he’s gonna be hanging out with us during the week.”

Hannah nodded, then said, “He has really blue eyes.”

Ian bit back a laugh and looked at Mickey as he said, “Yeah, he does.”

He turned back to Hannah and said, “Why don’t you grab a snack, and we’ll be getting small groups started in about 20 minutes, okay?”

Hannah smiled at Ian, then turned back to Mickey, blushed, and grabbed the snacks from his hand before she ran off to the rec room.

Mickey looked at Ian, amused, and Ian said, “I think you have your first fan.”

Mickey chuckled, “How old is she?”

“She’s 12. She looks a lot younger than that due to being neglected by her parents. She was so malnourished when she first came here, but we were able to get her the medical care she needed, and we make sure she’s fed well. Right now is the ‘official’ snack time, but if any of these kids come up and ask for more food, we don’t ever turn them down. Most of them don’t, but these kids went without being taken care of for so long. If we can help ease some of that by giving them an extra snack and making sure they know we aren’t going to neglect them, I mean, why wouldn’t we, you know?”

Mickey nodded, “I definitely know what it’s like to not know where your next meal is coming from or when you’ll be able to find something to eat again.”

Ian smiled at him in understanding before looking at the basket of snacks. There were still a few left, so he grabbed it and motioned to Mickey, “Let’s head out to the rec room. Small groups will be starting soon, so we’ll go ahead and start trying to round them up for that.”

When they got to the rec room, Mickey noticed that Geneva and Ash were in there, too. Ian had introduced him to both of them, and they both seemed really nice and genuinely happy to welcome him to the team.

It was almost 3:30, so Ian announced, “Okay, everyone, we’re getting ready to split up into small groups. Go ahead and finish up your snack, then head over to your group leader. If you need a reminder of whose group you’re in, just ask us, and we’ll get you to the right person.”

The kids finished up their snacks and threw away their trash before going to their respective leader. There was one kid who stood in the middle of the room and looked kind of lost, so Ian went up to him, “Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Are you new?”

The kid looked at him warily and nodded, “I, uh, I heard about this place from him,” he nodded at one of the kids in Geneva’s group, “wanted to check it out.”

Ian nodded, “Okay, that’s cool. Do you want to go with Geneva today since you know someone in her group?”

He nodded, and Ian called over to Geneva, “Got a new addition for today, G.”

Geneva smiled warmly at the newcomer, “Awesome. Come with us, and we can tell you about what we do during our group time.”

The groups all split up to the spaces where they usually met. Ian mostly kept his group in the rec room area. Geneva took hers to one of the study rooms, and Ash took theirs to one of the ‘quiet rooms’ Ian had shown him that were used for the kids who were easily overstimulated and needed a break.

Mickey took a seat next to Ian in the group space, and the kids in his group all got settled in their seats.

Ian started by introducing Mickey to the group, “So, some of you might’ve noticed a new face. This is Mickey. He started with us today, and he’s gonna be here with us during the week. Can we start off by going around the circle and having everyone introduce themselves?”

Ian nodded to the person sitting on the other side of him, a teenage boy who was obviously trying to look tougher than he was. If Mickey was honest, a first glance at this kid reminded him of himself when he was a teenager. He looked at Mickey like he was sizing him up and finally said, “D’mitri.”

Mickey nodded at him, then looked at the kid sitting next to him. He gave Mickey a huge smile and said, “Hi, I’m Damon. Are you going to be doing small groups, too??”

Mickey smiled at his enthusiasm, “I, uh, at some point, yeah. Just trying to get the lay of the land this week, though.”

Damon nodded, and Mickey looked to the next person. It was Hannah, and she blushed when he looked at her and whispered, “I’m Hannah.”

Mickey gave her a smile and nodded, then went to the next person, a teenage girl who gave off a persona that reminded him of Mandy. He smiled to himself as she shot him a cautious glare, “I’m Skye. With an ‘E’.”

Mickey nodded, then turned to the next kid, another teenage girl, but she seemed to be the complete opposite of Skye as she stared at her hands in her lap and quietly said, “Tara.”

There was one more, a teenage boy who was also pretty quiet, and he blushed as he looked at Ian, then at Mickey, before quietly saying, “I’m Luke.”

It was back around to Mickey, and he gave the group an easy smile, “As Ian said, I’m Mickey, and I’m looking forward to hanging out with you guys and getting to know you.”

He looked at Ian, who smiled and nodded at him before saying, “Okay, let’s get started with checking in. First, does anyone have anything they want to share?”

There were a few moments of silence, then Tara slowly raised her hand.

“Okay, start us off, Tara.”

“Well,” she glanced around at everyone in the circle before looking back at her hands, “I got an A on my geography test.”

“Tara!” Ian exclaimed, “That’s awesome! I know how hard you studied for that! Heck yeah! High five!”

Ian leaned towards her and held his hand up for her to reach out and hit, and after shooting him a shy smile, she reached up and softly tapped his hand.

He sat back in his chair and looked around at the other kids, “Okay, anyone else?”

No one else spoke up, so Ian said, “Okay, guys, you know the drill. One up, one down for the day. D’mitri, start us off.”

D’mitri rolled his eyes, but said, “One up is that I went to all my classes today so I didn’t get detention. One down is that I didn’t understand the homework, so I didn’t do it, and I got a zero on it.”

Ian nodded, “We’ll talk more about that after group.”

D’mitri didn’t look happy, but he nodded.

Next was Damon, who said, “One up is that we have a new peer support person,” he beamed at Mickey, “and one down is that I tried out for a play in class and didn’t get the part I wanted.”

Ian nodded, “It can suck when we don’t get the things we want. Did you get a part in it, though?”

Damon nodded, “I got a part, just not the one I wanted. Stupid Brayden got the part I wanted, and I know I can do it better than he can.”

“We need to check in with the rest of the group while we still have time, but why don’t we focus on how you can do the best you can with the part you were assigned? If you do that, it’s possible your teacher will keep you in mind for a better or bigger part if you guys do another play in class.”

Damon brightened a little at the suggestion and nodded.

Ian got over to Hannah, “How about you, Hannah? One up, one down.”

Hannah blushed and said, “One up is that I got to eat lunch with my best friend. One down is that a boy in my class was making fun of me today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Hannah. I know it’s rough when people say mean things or make fun of you. Do you want to say anything more about that?”

She blushed and shook her head, and Ian said, “Okay, well if you want to talk more about that later, just come find me or one of the other counselors, okay?”

He moved over to Skye, “Okay, Skye with an ‘E,’ whatcha got for us?”

She looked bored as she looked at her nails, “A friend did my nails in study hall with this new polish she got. And, I have detention for the rest of the week because I skipped 5^th period today.”

Ian raised an eyebrow at her, “Why’d you skip 5^th period, Skye?”

Skye rolled her eyes, “Because I’m acing the class, and it’s stupid. I’ve read the book, and I could probably get an A all the tests for the rest of the year. Sitting in there is so boring.”

“Still gotta go to class, Skye, even when it’s boring.”

She rolled her eyes again, and Ian moved on to Tara, “You told us about an up for today, Tara. What about a down?”

Tara didn’t look up, and Mickey could’ve sworn he saw tears in her eyes when she said, “I got a letter from my mom this weekend.”

Ian sucked in a breath, “Do you want to talk about it here in group?”

Tara shook her head and wiped away a stray tear that had escaped from her eye.

“Okay, that’s fine, Tara. You don’t have to. We can talk about it one on one if you want when we get done with group.”

She shot Ian a look of gratitude and nodded. He smiled supportively at her and moved on to the final kid.

“Luke, how about you?”

Luke gave Ian a small smile and said, “Well, I guess my one up is that I have a crush on someone, and my one down is that I don’t think they feel the same way about me.”

“Have you told them how you feel?”

Luke blushed and shook his head, and Ian said, “It can be scary to tell someone how you feel about them, but if you don’t tell them, you won’t ever know how they feel about you.”

Luke looked terrified, and Ian assured him, “I’m not saying you have to do it now, or anytime soon, or at all. It’s just something to think about for the possibility of turning that ‘down’ into a potential ‘up.’”

This time, Luke gave him a small smile and nodded.

Ian looked at the clock, and he said, “Okay, we have about 5 minutes left. Does anyone have anything else they want to share?”

Damon raised his hand, and Ian nodded at him, “Yeah, Damon, what’s up?”

Damon pointed at Mickey, “Mickey didn’t go.”

Mickey smiled when the group looked at him and said, “Oh, I don’t have to. This is for you guys.”

Ian smiled at him, “Nah, it’s fine. What’s been one up and one down for you today, Mickey?”

“Well…,” Mickey pondered it for a few moments, “I guess my one up for the day is starting a job here, and my one down is that means I can’t sleep in til noon anymore.”

Most of the kids in the group laughed, and Ian noticed that even D’mitri and Skye cracked smiles when he said that.

“On that note,” Ian said smiling, “It’s time for homework. Who has some they need to do?”

D’mitri raised a finger, and Luke and Damon raised their hands.

“Okay, do any of you need help?”

Luke and Damon shook their heads, and D’mitri shrugged.

“What’s your homework, D’mitri?”

“Fucking algebra.”

Ian shot him a look, but D’mitri stared back at him and didn’t say anything different.

“Okay,” Ian said, “I can help you with it if you want, and then, Tara,” he turned to look at her, “Do you want to talk with me for a bit?”

Tara nodded, but before Ian could dismiss them to work on their homework, Mickey interjected, “I’m, uh, I’m pretty good with math, so I could try to…” he trailed off as he gestured towards D’mitri.

Ian smiled and nodded, “Yeah, that’d be great, thanks. D’mitri, is that okay with you?”

D’mitri shrugged and said, “Whatever.”

“Okay, well, then group dismissed.”

He turned to Mickey, “You remember where the study rooms are, right?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, it’s down a couple of hallways, right?”

Ian nodded, “Yep, and D’mitri knows where they are if you get turned around, right?” he turned and looked at the sullen teenager.

D’mitri rolled his eyes and answered, “Yes.”

Ian gave one nod, “Good. We’ll see you guys back here in a little bit, then.”

Ian turned to guide Tara to a quieter place to talk more privately, but he turned back to glance at Mickey, who was doing the same thing. Ian smiled at him, and Mickey felt it warm him inside and couldn’t help but return the smile. When he turned back to D’mitri, the teen was smirking at him. Mickey felt himself blush slightly, then said, “Okay, okay, let’s go find these study rooms.”

“I just…when the fuck am I ever gonna use this, huh?”

“I know it feels that way now, and I can’t honestly tell you that I use fucking equations in my daily life, but look at it this way: learning how to do equations helps you pass this class. Passing this class means you get to move to a different class next year. And graduating from high school gives you way more opportunities than if you let something stupid like Algebra win, yeah?”

“Aagh…fine…will you explain it to me again?”

Mickey smiled patiently and started from the top of the math problem to help D’mitri get the right answer. He explained the steps, but D’mitri did the work, and this time, he ended up with the right answer. The look on his face when Mickey told him it was right could’ve lit up the entire building.

“You mean it? I actually got it right?”

“Yeah, man, good work. Do you understand how you got there, though?”

“I mean, I get the steps you went through as I did it, but I’m still not sure I understand what I’m supposed to do.”

Mickey glanced down at his watch and saw that it was closing in on 5, “How about this? Why don’t you go through the steps we did on the next one and see if it makes sense?”

D’mitri did just that, and with a few minor tweaks, he got that one correct, too.

“See? You’re getting there. If you want, I can work with you more tomorrow after small group time if you’re still having trouble.”

“Yeah? That’d be gr…yeah, cool, whatever, I guess that’d be okay.”

Mickey raised his eyebrow at D’mitri, who was trying to overcorrect his accidental excitement over schoolwork by being cool and aloof.

Mickey looked at his watch, “Looks like it’s almost 5, and that’s when you guys start working on dinner or whatever, right?”

D’mitri started gathering up his books, “Yeah, and I’m on kitchen duty tonight…great…”

“What’s the matter with being on kitchen duty?”

D’mitri wrinkled his nose, “Isn’t cooking supposed to be a girl thing?”

Mickey busted out laughing, “Not even a little bit. Are you kidding me? Learning how to cook means you get to have some independence, right? You get to be in charge of what you eat and when, and if you’re really good at it, you get to make it taste amazing.”

D’mitri shot him a look of disbelief, “You’re trying to tell me that you know how to cook?”

“Hell, yeah, I do! When I was growing up, I was the one who had to make stuff for me and my sister outta whatever was in the fridge or the pantry. Lemme tell you, I had to learn how to be creative with it, too.”

D’mitri nodded, “Is that how you’re gonna win over Ian?”

Mickey felt his cheeks start to pink, but he responded, “What’re you talking about? We work together.”

This time, it was D’mitri who raised his eyebrow as he said, “Uh-huh, I saw the way you were looking at him before we left the rec room.”

Mickey faux glared at him, “Okay, ‘m not sure, but I think this officially falls in the realm of topics that are off limits, so no more talk of my…whatever…let’s go see what’s on the menu for tonight.”

D’mitri smirked at him but didn’t push the issue, and when they got back to the kitchen area, a few of the older kids and Ian were already getting ingredients out to prep for dinner.

“D’mitri! Just the guy we were looking for! We’re fixing burgers for dinner tonight, so come here, and I’ll show you how to form the meat into patties and season them. Wash your hands first!”

Both D’mitri and Mickey went over to the sink to wash their hands, then they both walked over to Ian. Ian showed D’mitri how to grab a section of the meat and form it in his hands, then how to set it down and season it with the spices they had out. Mickey took a look at the ones they had and asked, “Hey, Gallagher, you got anything here besides salt and pepper and onion powder?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, we have other spices over in the pantry. Why?”

Mickey nodded to the ones on the counter, “There’s nothing wrong with those, but we can do better.”

He went over to the pantry and found ground mustard and garlic powder and brought those over, “Here, try these with the salt and pepper instead of that,” he gestured towards the onion powder, “much better taste, I promise.”

This time, it was Mickey who showed them how much of each spice to use when seasoning the burgers, and he pretended not to notice the amused smirk D’mitri kept sending him as the 3 of them worked on the burger patties.

Ash, Geneva, Tara, Skye, and a few other kids Mickey hadn’t met yet were working on setting up the toppings for the burgers. Geneva was chopping up tomatoes. Ash was setting out pickles. Skye was tearing off lettuce leaves. Tara was setting out cheese slices. The other kids were assembling the condiments.

After the last patty was seasoned, Ian grabbed the plate, “Alright, Mickey, you come with me. We’re gonna go grill these bad boys up. Be back in a few, guys! D’mitri, wash your hands before you touch anything else!”

Ian left out of the kitchen, and Mickey followed right behind him. He went down a side hallway that he hadn’t shown Mickey earlier, and when they came to a door, Ian motioned towards it, “Hey, can you push that open for me? I don’t wanna risk dropping the burgers, and it gets stuck sometimes.”

Mickey pushed the door open, and to his surprise, it led to a small outdoor area with a small, obviously used but still nice and functioning, grill. There was a table nearby, and Ian set the plate of burgers down there so he could get the grill started. It was propane, so thankfully, once it was lit, it didn’t take too long to heat up.

“Shit!”

Mickey’s eyes snapped over to Ian from looking around the outdoor area, “What’s up, Gallagher? Everything okay?”

“I forgot a freaking spatula so I could flip them. Can you watch the burgers while I go grab one real quick?”

“Yeah, sure, I can do that. No problem.”

Ian shot him a smile and said, “Thanks, Mickey, I appreciate it. Be right back.”

Ian jetted back through the door they’d come out of, and true to his word, he was back in less than 2 minutes.

“That was fast,” Mickey remarked.

Ian shrugged, “I knew where I was going and what I was looking for, so…”

“Yeah, having legs as long as you do doesn’t hurt, either.”

Ian’s cheeks pinked, and he shrugged, “Yeah, probably not.”

They stood in companionable silence for a few minutes, then Mickey said, “You probably wanna go ahead and flip those.”

Ian looked at the burgers then at him, “Nah, man, I’m not trying to give these kids food poisoning by serving them undercooked meat.”

Mickey raised an eyebrow, “No, you’re just trying to make them chip a tooth by giving them burgers that are as hard as a rock. Trust me, Gallagher. Flip ‘em.”

Ian heaved a huge sigh but did as Mickey suggested, and Mickey said, “Used to work in the kitchen when I was…you know…away. Never poisoned anyone, and the guys were always excited when we had burgers because of the way I fixed them.”

Ian didn’t say anything in response for a few moments, so Mickey said, “I wasn’t trying to interfere with how you normally do things or anything like that. Just making a suggestion.”

Ian took a deep breath and smiled at Mickey, “Nah, it’s fine. I guess I’m just not used to having someone suggest I do something different in the name of being helpful. Here, I mostly take care of the stuff I’m in charge of taking care of, and at home, I…well, it’s just different.”

Mickey wasn’t sure how to respond, so he didn’t, and a few minutes later, Ian looked at him and said, “If we’re going by your timetable, I think they’re ready to serve. Would you mind grabbing a clean plate from the kitchen for me to put them on? It’s actually really easy to get to the kitchen and back out here if you know where you’re going.”

Mickey nodded, “Sure, I can do that. Be right back.”

He opened the door, and he headed in the direction of the sounds of voices. Ian was right. Once you knew where you were going, navigating back to the kitchen was easy. He was back in a couple of minutes with a plate. Ian thanked him, then put the patties on the plate and handed it to Mickey.

“I’ve gotta stay out here and take care of the grill, but you can go ahead and take those in. It looked like everything else was being set up when we came out here.”

“Do you need any help?”

Ian smiled and shook his head, “Nah, I got it. You go ahead and eat, too. I’ll be in in a few minutes.”

Mickey nodded and took the plate from him and brought it to the kitchen, “Alright, we got burgers here! Burgers, coming through!”

The kids were already lined up to come through and make their plates. Mickey, Ash, and Geneva helped serve dinner, then once the kids had all been fed, they made their own plates. Mary came out to join them for dinner, and Mickey watched in awe at the way all the kids did indeed flock to her. Ian was right, she really was great with them.

After they finished eating, there wasn’t much to do in the way of cleaning up dishes since they had used paper plates and napkins. When Mickey went back in the kitchen, Ian was in there working on putting everything up.

“Hey! I didn’t see you out there. Did you sneak in and eat in here?”

Ian smiled at him, “No, I have dinner plans after I leave here, so I didn’t have a burger.”

Mickey grabbed the last patty that was on the plate, “Well, at least try my infamous Beckman Correctional burger patty and tell me what you think.”

He held it out to Ian who looked undecided before he finally reached out to take it and took a bite of it. The flavor exploded on his tongue, and he couldn’t help but moan at how deliciously juicy it was. Mickey had been right to suggest flipping them when he did.

He looked at Mickey who was smiling and blushing a little, from what it looked like, and he said, “Oh, my god! That might be one of the best burgers I’ve ever tasted! It’s official…you’re cooking the burgers every time we have them from now on!”

Mickey grinned brightly at him, “I’m glad you like it.”

Ian ate the rest of it, nodding as he did.

Once he finished, he said, “Well, I hope you realize what you’ve done, Mickey. Now that I know you can cook…you’re officially on kitchen duty every evening.”

Mickey chuckled, “Yeah, ‘m fine with that.”

“Ian!” Geneva’s voice sounded down the hallway, “Adam’s here!”

Ian looked at his watch, which said 6:45, and he muttered under his breath, “I fucking tell him every single day that my shift ends at 7, but he always gets here early, then bitches and moans because he has to wait.”

Mickey looked at Ian, confused, “Who’s Adam?”

Ian sighed, “Adam’s my…”

But before he could finish, a polished voice came from the doorway to the kitchen, “I’m his boyfriend.”

Mickey turned to see who the voice belonged to, and he saw a man whose clothes obviously cost more than Mickey’s entire wardrobe. Adam (Mickey guessed that’s who this guy was) looked like he was in his mid-30’s and like the type of person who looked down on people like him and everyone else on the South Side. Mickey couldn’t help but wonder how the hell Ian had ended up with a douchebag like this.

He looked over at Ian, who had the fakest smile Mickey had ever seen plastered on his face.

“Hey, Adam, this is Mickey. He’s the new peer support counselor here. Today’s his first day. Mickey, this is my…boyfriend…Adam.”

Adam plastered a fake smile on his face, too, as he said, “Nice to meet you, Mickey. If your background is anything like Ian’s, it must be nice that you’re able to find a job like this instead of it weighing you down and keeping you from finding gainful employment. Nice tattoos, by the way.”

Mickey looked down at his hands, and Ian’s eyes traveled there, too. No one had said anything about his knuckle tattoos all day, but now that Adam had drawn attention to them, Mickey felt almost embarrassed when Ian looked at his hands. He didn’t say anything in response, and it didn’t matter as Adam turned his attention back to Ian anyway.

“How much longer are you going to be?”

Ian took a deep breath, “I get off at 7, Adam, just like I do every night, just like I’ve been doing since I started working here.”

Adam looked at his watch, “Oh…well, it’s practically 7 now. It’s 6:50, anyway. Can’t you just cut out 10 minutes early?”

“No, Adam, I can’t. I’ll be done in 10 minutes, okay?”

Adam sighed deeply, “I’ll be out in the car. Don’t want to risk one of these…children…getting their sticky fingers on my coat. Don’t be too long, Ian. We have dinner reservations at 7:30.”

With a flourish, Adam turned and left the way he’d come.

After he left, Ian sighed, “So, that was Adam.”

Mickey cleared his throat, “I, uh, I see. Look, man, if you need to go or whatever, I can finish up here.”

Ian shook his head and shot Mickey a small smile, “He can wait.”

Mickey smiled in return and nodded, “Okay, then.”

Together, they finished putting everything away and cleaning up the kitchen. When they were done, the clock read 6:58, and Ian turned to Mickey.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go grab my stuff and head out, I guess. Great work today, Mickey. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Mickey smiled at him, “Yes, you will, Gallagher.”

Ian smiled at him, then headed in the direction of his office space to grab his stuff. Mickey headed to the rec room where Geneva and Ash were helping the kids finish cleaning up after dinner. He jumped in to help, and when everything was done, he walked with them back to where the offices were so they could all grab their stuff and walk out together. While they walked, he listened to their conversation.

“Why does he always show up here early? Like he doesn’t know Ian’s hours by now. They’ve been together for a year.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t such an asshole, G. God, I can’t stand him! He’s such a condescending little shit, like he thinks he’s better than us or these kids. I tried to say hi to him twice when he came to pick up Ian, and he had the audacity to wrinkle his nose at me in disgust when I did. I don’t get why Ian stays with him. There’s no way he’s any better to him.”

Geneva sighed, “Ash, you know how it is. When you’ve been through shit like we’ve all been through, it’s easier to believe that you take what you can get when someone’s interested in you. On paper, Adam’s the VP of a tech company who gives some of their profits back to charity, he’s a…superficially…good looking guy, if you’re into that kind of thing, and he has money. Ian doesn’t have to worry about food, a place to stay, clothes, or…you know, anything else he might need. Yeah, Adam’s awful, but from that standpoint, I get it.”

Ash sighed, “Yeah, I guess I do, too. I just hate it because Ian’s such a great guy, you know? He deserves to be with someone who sees that and treats him like it, too.”

Geneva glanced over at Mickey, who’d been silent throughout their conversation as he listened interestedly to what they were saying, “Yeah, Ash…I know.”

Chapter Text

As soon as Ian walked out of Hopeful Place, he saw Adam leaning against his car looking at his watch.

“It’s just now 7, Adam, which is literally the time I get off every single evening. You know that.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “Just get in the car, Ian. I’m going to have to speed so we aren’t late for dinner.”

Ian sighed and got in the passenger seat.

“Why didn’t you bring other clothes to change into?”

“Because you only texted me about these reservations earlier this afternoon.”

“That was a reminder, Ian. I told you about these reservations weeks ago.”

“No, you didn’t, Adam. I am telling you that I didn’t know about them until about 2 this afternoon.”

A beat of silence, and then a thumb and forefinger circled Ian’s wrist and started to squeeze tightly, “Are you calling me a liar, Ian?”

Ian hissed in discomfort, “Adam, that hurts. Please…ow…ow…no, I’m not saying you’re a liar, okay? Maybe you just thought you told me, and then you forgot to.”

Adam lessened his grip on Ian’s wrist but only slightly, “Or maybe you forgot that I told you about these plans in the first place.”

Ian knew that wasn’t the case, but he wanted to avoid another mark on his wrist if he could, so he said, “Yeah, maybe that’s what happened.”

“Say it.”

“Say what, Adam?”

“Say that’s what happened, Ian. Say that you forgot the plans I told you about until today when I texted you to remind you about them. Say you’re sorry that these plans obviously meant so little to you that you didn’t think about them until I texted you.”

“Adam…”

“Say it, Ian.”

“Okay, okay…Jesus…I’m sorry for forgetting about the dinner reservations.”

Adam let go of his wrist and immediately calmed down, “Oh, it’s okay, honey. I know you can’t help how your brain works. Sometimes the side effects of the medications you take make it hard to remember things.”

Ian took a deep breath and didn’t say anything in response.

“Since I anticipated you would forget, there’s a bag in the backseat with a change of clothes in it. You can change in the car on the way.”

Ian tried to hold on as Adam whipped his car in and out of traffic as he rushed to the North Side. He managed to grab the bag in the back of the car, but almost fell into the backseat as he did. Somehow, he was able to change in the passenger seat and was zipping up his pants as they pulled up to the valet stand.

They both got out of the car, and Adam handed his key to the valet attendant. He walked over and stood in front of Ian and straightened his sweater a bit.

“Why does it matter to you what my clothes look like?” Ian asked.

“Because,” Adam reached up to smooth Ian’s hair down, “we’re meeting Brian and Colleen for dinner.”

Ian groaned internally. Brian was the CEO for the tech start-up where Adam was the VP. They’d been out to dinner with Brian and his longtime girlfriend a few times before, and it always ended the same way. Adam and Brian talked shop, then disappeared to the bathroom for a significant length of time. Ian wasn’t sure if they were doing drugs or fucking or both while they were in there, but what made it worse is that Colleen would consume an entire bottle of wine by herself, then try to hit on Ian while Adam and Brian were gone. The last time they’d been out to dinner, Ian had tried everything short of shoving her away to show her he wasn’t interested. Brian had threatened to hit him when he and Adam came back to the table if he even thought about touching her. The fact that Ian was obviously gay and in a relationship with Adam didn’t seem to matter. And Adam certainly hadn’t been any help. He had sided with Brian in the car as they left the restaurant.

“Just imagine it from his side, Ian. You come back from the bathroom and see your girlfriend practically in another man’s lap. I’m sure you didn’t mean to, but maybe you should’ve been more firm with her, you know? Told her no or tried to move away from her or something.”

Ian had tried to defend himself, but no matter what he said, Adam held him at least partially responsible for the turn their night out had taken.

They walked in the restaurant, and Adam spotted Brian and Colleen. Ian pasted on his ‘social smile’ as they approached their table.

“Adam!” Brian shook his hand and clapped him on the back, “So glad the two of you could join us. Ian,” Ian looked up, and Brian nodded curtly at him, “Nice to see you as well.”

Colleen was already almost done with her first glass of wine, and she stood to hug Adam, the two of them exchanging cheek kisses in greeting. Then, it was Ian’s turn. She hugged him, which he returned with a pat on her shoulder, but he could’ve sworn that she lingered as she pulled back and brought her hands down his shoulders and arms.

When she pulled back, she smiled slowly at him and bit her lip as she said, “I’m glad to see you both as well. Would you like a drink?”

“Yes! Yes! Waitress!” Brian called forcefully, “We need drinks for our guests who’ve just arrived. What would you like?”

Adam ordered a scotch on the rocks, and Ian opted for a glass of wine. He didn’t drink much during the week, and he knew that more than 1 or 2 would hit him hard and mean an excruciating headache for him in the morning.

Their drinks arrived, and both Ian and Colleen were left out of the conversation, as per usual. Ian continuously looked at his watch, and Colleen just drank her wine. Just like clockwork, as soon as their food arrived, Brian hopped up to excuse himself to the bathroom. No sooner had he walked away from their table that Adam excused himself as well.

“Wonder how long they’ll be this time,” Colleen spoke, surprising Ian.

“What do you mean?” Ian asked.

“You know why they go to the bathroom together, don’t you?”

Ian shook his head, and Colleen looked at him with pity and disbelief.

“They go in there to do poppers, coke, ecstasy, whatever they have on hand,” Colleen explained, “then they either give each other blowjobs, or they fuck, depending on how long they’re gone.”

“What?!” Ian was surprised, although he didn’t really know why. It certainly wasn’t the first time.

Colleen nodded, her eyes a little teary, “Yeah, that’s why they’re gone for so long when they go to the bathroom together.”

Ian wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say or how he was supposed to react. He knew there had been other men. During the time when he had a low period or a medication adjustment and wasn’t able to get an erection, he knew Adam found other men to be with. They had never talked about it, but Adam had said once, “I’m sorry you feel like shit, Ian, but I have needs, too.” Ian had been too low to form a response, and nothing was ever mentioned about it again.

Ian was surprised when Adam and Brian both returned a few minutes later, but as he looked at both of them, he could tell they had taken something.

Ian leaned over to Adam and whispered, “Were you doing drugs in there?”

Adam looked at him glassy eyed with a big grin and said, “It was just a little E, Eeean. Not a big deal. Just wanted to loosen up a little before we get home, you know, go ahead and get in the mood.”

“Adam, what are you talking about?”

Adam reached over and placed his hand on Ian’s crotch. Ian was more shocked than anything by Adam’s behavior, especially when he whispered, “Wanna ride this later, so work on getting it hard for me between now and then, okay, Eeeean?”

Ian looked around to see if anyone else was seeing what was going on, but Brian was busy canoodling with Colleen, and Ian could just make out his arm moving underneath the table. He was supremely uncomfortable with everything that was happening, but he figured the quickest way to get out of it was for them to eat their dinner so they could get the check so they could go home, and he could deal with whatever awaited him there.

He gingerly lifted Adam’s hand from his crotch and put it over Adam’s fork, “Why don’t we eat first? Then we can focus on getting home.”

Adam looked at him and pouted but started eating his dinner like a petulant 4-year-old who’s just been told they won’t get dessert if they don’t eat their dinner. He kept looking back and forth between Ian and Brian and Colleen across the table. It was obvious from the look on Brian’s face, the movement of his arm, and the moans coming from Colleen that he was fingering her under the table. Ian was positive that if he had given Adam permission, the man would’ve happily been on his knees under the table, or had his hand down Ian’s pants, at the very least.

The idea of doing anything sexual in a public place reminded Ian too much of his clubbing days when he was manic but hadn’t wanted to admit it. God, he’d had so much sex back then, everywhere and with everyone he could. When he thought back on that time, he always thought about how lucky he’d been not to have ended up with anything more serious than the one bout of gonorrhea he’d had. Luckily, he hadn’t been manic to the point of not being able to take care of things at that time, so a trip to the clinic for antibiotics had convinced him to start carrying a supply of condoms with him at all times.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a loud moan from Colleen and Adam dropping his fork on his plate in response. He turned to look at Ian with his arms crossed and said, “Okay, I’m done. Can we go now?”

Ian looked at Adam incredulously. Even though the couple across the table from them were testing this place’s level of modesty, he was still surprised by the idea that Adam would leave mid-meal without paying or letting Brian and Colleen know they were leaving.

Ian gestured across the table, “Don’t you wanna tell them bye or that we’re leaving? Pay for our dinner? Anything like that?”

Adam waved a hand dismissively, “Brian owes me,” he looked across the table and smirked, “Besides, do you want to interrupt that?”

Ian glanced back over and noticed that now Colleen’s arm was under the table moving back and forth while Brian’s mouth dropped open, and he let out small grunts and moans.

Ian’s eyes widened as he looked back at Adam, “Yeah, I guess not.”

Adam leaned over to kiss Ian and breathed against his mouth, “Let’s go home, lover, so you can fuck me with that big cock.”

The words sent a jolt of desire through Ian’s body. It wasn’t enough to make him hard yet, but maybe if he focused on the way home, he could manage it by the time they made it to the bedroom. Adam let him drive home, a rare event, since he was impaired and wanted to touch everything in the car, including both himself and Ian.

Ian tried to navigate the streets as carefully as he could, but it was difficult as Adam tried to feel him up while he drove.

“Mmmm…why don’t you let me blow you, huh? Wouldn’t that be exciting? You trying to concentrate while that huge cock is in my mouth? Fuck…I’m so hard right now, Ian.”

Ian sped up just slightly, still being careful since he knew Adam would be livid if something happened to his car. Finally, they pulled up in the driveway of their West Side home (or, well, Adam’s West Side home that Ian had moved into with him), and Adam jumped out of the car as he ran upstairs to their bedroom.

Ian followed him, and as soon as he entered their bedroom, he saw that Adam had taken all his clothes off and strewn them from the doorway to their bed. He beckoned Ian over to their bed and immediately thrust his hand down Ian’s pants. Ian was still only sporting a semi, but Adam was in no mood to wait. He took his hand away and rolled over to his bedside table. He grabbed a bottle out and shook one of the tiny blue pills inside into his hand.

He held it out to Ian with a lascivious smile, “Bottoms up, E. Need that cock now.”

Ian sighed heavily. This was usually only something Adam asked for on the weekends. It was always excruciating the next day because it took so long for Ian to come down and be able to sleep afterwards. He knew how Adam could get when he was angry, though, so he figured it would be easiest to just take it and suffer the consequences the following day.

He swallowed the pill dry and took slow, deep breaths as Adam stroked him to try and get him harder faster. Finally, Ian managed to get hard, and Adam pushed him back on the bed before climbing on top of him.

He lowered himself on Ian’s cock with a moan, and Ian’s mouth dropped open.

“Holy fuck…don’t you need me to…aah…prep you or something?”

“Hmm-mm,” Adam let out a breathy moan, “Went ahead and took care of that at the restaurant…oh fuck…yessss…”

Adam started canting his hips back and forth as his moans got louder, “Oh, fuck…best thing about you right here…jesus…so good, Ian…so fucking big…”

Adam leaned back and began fucking himself on Ian’s erection. He must’ve found the spot he was looking for because his movements got faster and faster, and his moans got louder and louder until, “Oh, fuck…I’m gonna cum…I’m gonna…UNGH…UNGH…YEAH…UNGH…”

Adam threw his head back & let out a loud, thoaty moan as cum spurted from his dick. It landed on Ian’s torso, and a little of it looked like it even landed in Adam’s hair. Ian tried to speed up his thrusts to reach his own orgasm, but after Adam’s body jerked with aftershocks a few times, he leaned forward and put his hands on Ian’s chest, effectively stopping his thrusts.

Ian reached for Adam’s hips and tried to continue moving them back and forth, but Adam said, “E…fuck…Ian, that hurts! I need you to stop.”

Ian gritted his teeth as he stilled his body. As soon as he stopped, Adam sat back up and climbed off Ian’s cock, which was still red and hard as fuck.

“Adam…what…”

Adam reached up to his hair, “Ew, I have cum in my hair, Ian. I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Ian gestured to his rock hard erection, “But, what about…”

Adam smirked at him and tossed him a tube of lotion from his bedside table, “Here,” he said, “You can take care of that, can’t you?”

He left Ian laying in the bed by himself while he went into the bathroom. Ian was pissed to say the least. Not only was he not going to be able to go to sleep soon, but he was also going to have to get himself off? Not wanting to anger Adam, he took the lotion and squeezed some into his hand and started stroking himself.

He went through all his go-to mental images but couldn’t quite get himself to the point of orgasm. Then his mind flashed on Mickey. Ian instantly felt guilty for picturing his newest co-worker, but he started to feel the first pricks that indicated his orgasm was on the horizon, so he went with it. He was just starting to get close when…

“You better not get cum on my sheets. Also, why are you doing that in here? Why don’t you go to the bathroom?”

The beginning of Ian’s orgasm was interrupted by Adam’s judgmental tone. He sighed and opened his eyes, “Because you were in there taking a shower. I wasn’t under the impression that I was invited.”

“Oh,” Adam shrugged, “Well, I’m done now, so why don’t you go in there and continue?”

Ian looked at him in disbelief, “You’re really not gonna help me out here?”

But Adam was already preparing to put his sleep mask on. He shrugged, “I need my beauty sleep, Ian. Sorry.”

Ian got up to head to the bathroom, but Adam had one more parting comment, “Probably wouldn’t hurt for you to get more sleep, too. After you’re done, come to bed, okay?”

Ian sighed heavily. It was obvious that Adam had no idea about the aftermath of the side effects of taking Viagra. He angrily grabbed the lotion and went to their bathroom. He was torn with where to continue. He didn’t particularly want to watch himself in the mirror, especially not after Adam’s last comment. He supposed he could just do it in the middle of the bathroom, but then he’d have to make sure everything was spotless, and he wasn’t really in the mood to do that, either.

Finally, he opted for the shower and set the temperature to just where he liked it. He got in and let the feeling of the hot water seep into his muscles first. This evening had been stressful, and he was feeling the effects of it. At least he didn’t have to worry about his erection going down until he had satisfied it. He stepped just out of the spray and squeezed more lotion into his hand. He tried to relax his brain and let it go back to where it had been before. His brain automatically traveled back to Mickey.

Ian would be lying if he said he didn’t find him attractive. With that black hair against that pale skin, his startlingly blue eyes, and his perfect lips, how could he not? He felt a little guilty as he imagined those lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him so perfectly as he bobbed up and down on him.

It was obvious that Mickey was gay, at least Ian was pretty sure he was, with the comment about how he liked it when Ian had accidentally called him blue eyes. With lips like the ones he had, Ian bet he could suck cock like a pro.

Fuck…Ian wondered if he’d swallow him down when he came…imagining that was enough to push him over the edge, and he had to bite his lip to keep from calling out Mickey’s name when he came.

As soon as he was done, the bathroom door opened, “Ian, I can hear the shower through the wall, and I’m trying to sleep. Aren’t you almost done yet?”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, I just finished. Sorry about the noise, Adam. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Well, hurry. You know I can only go to sleep to the sounds of my sleep machine. Anything else throws off my REM sleep.”

With that, the door shut, and Ian looked down at his still semi-erect cock. There was no doubt that tonight would basically be a sleepless night for him, but at this point, he had no other choice. He turned the shower off and stepped out, reaching for a towel to dry himself. He walked over to the sink to get his nighttime meds out of the medicine cabinet. After he took them, he looked down and saw that his erection was back. He sighed and tried to form a plan of how to deal with it. Finally, he decided to take the lotion and his phone, and he quietly snuck out of the bathroom, through their bedroom, and out into the hallway. He crept down the stairs, grabbed some tissues, and headed for the couch as he prepared to settle in for a long night of jerking off and trying to get some rest.

At some point, he must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, something soft but firm hit him in the head, startling him awake.

He jolted up and opened his eyes to see Adam standing above him with his arms crossed as he scowled down at Ian.

“What the fuck is this?” Adam gestured to the piles of tissues on the table next to the couch.

“Is this…,” he leaned in to look closer, “did you jerk off down here?”

Ian shrugged and asked, “Adam, do you know what the side effects of Viagra are?”

Adam rolled his eyes, “An erection, duh.”

Ian glared at him, “Yeah, an erection that lasts for a long time, even after you cum.”

Adam wrinkled his nose, “Well, this,” he waves his hand toward the pile, “is disgusting. Really, Ian, I know you’re a little street urchin at heart, but you could take a little pride in my house and not leave your cum everywhere.”

Ian had already jumped up from the couch and was gathering the pile of tissues from the table.

“Here,” he held it out to show Adam, “all gathered up and going in the trash now.”

He threw the tissues away in the garbage can, then turned back to face Adam.

“Better?”

Adam’s nose was still wrinkled as he looked at Ian, “Jesus, Ian, how much sleep did you get? You look like hell. I think you should call out of your little youth shelter job and get some additional rest. God knows your looks are really the main thing you have going for you. Have to take care of them, you know,” he paused to look at his watch, “Oh, by the way, I’m going into work early today to meet with Brian on a few issues. If you do decide to go to your little job, you’ll have to take the bus or the L because I won’t be able to drop you off. I can probably pick you up, though. 6:45, right?”

Ian glared at him, “7, Adam.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “As if 15 minutes makes that much of a difference. See you then, sweetie.”

He gave 2 air kisses before he swooshed out the door, his expensive coat trailing behind him.

Ian looked at his phone. The battery was almost dead, but thankfully, it was only 8 in the morning. He didn’t have to be at the shelter until 10:30, which gave him plenty of time to take a shower and get dressed. He plugged in his phone next to his side of the bed and went into the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and although he hated to admit it, Adam was right. He did look like hell.

He made a mental note to go to bed early that night after he got back. For today, though, a long shower and copious amounts of caffeine would have to do.

Chapter Text

After walking out with Ash and Geneva for the evening, Mickey headed to the L to go home. It had been a pretty good first day at his new job. He knew it would take a while to get the details of the schedule down pat, but he was really looking forward to getting into the work. Ash and Geneva were both cool. Even Mary, with her gruff exterior, seemed to have a genuine heart for the work they did there. And Ian…Mickey let out a big sigh. He could admit to himself that he might have the beginnings of a crush. After all, a tall, toned, gorgeous ginger, with greenish blue eyes, a killer smile, who’s obviously seen some shit and has a heart of gold for kids at a shelter? How the fuck could he resist all that? There was just one problem.

Adam.

Even after hearing Ash and Geneva talk about his and Ian’s relationship, he knew there had to be more to the story. The idea of being taken care of financially was one Mickey could understand, but he couldn’t help but get the feeling that there was more to the reason why Ian stayed with him. He could be patient, though, and wait it out. He had no plans on going anywhere, and he had a feeling that waiting for a chance with Ian Gallagher would be well worth it.

He entered a building and climbed up the stairs to the 3^rd floor. He stopped outside the apartment he shared with Mandy and put his key in the lock. As soon as the door opened, he heard a voice from the kitchen.

“Hey, assface, how was your first day? Did you traumatize any kids?”

“Fuck off, bitchy,” he responded, “it was fine. I, uh, I actually think I’m really gonna like it there. Other counselors seem pretty cool. Few of the kids remind me of us, which sucks for them, but, ya know, maybe we can help things turn out a little better for them than they were for us when we were growing up.”

Mandy narrowed her eyes at him as he entered the kitchen.

“What?” he asked confused, “I got something on my face or some shit? Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“C’mere,” she said as she continued to scrutinize him.

“The fuck is it, Mandy? What’s on me?”

He walked within arm’s reach of her, and she licked her thumb and scrubbed at a spot on his forehead.

“Sorry, you just had a little optimism on your face. Had to get it off.”

Mickey glared at her but had to laugh at her wit, “Fuck off, Mandy. What’s wrong with wanting to help out and hope that it can get better for these kids?”

Mandy smiled at him, “There’s nothing wrong with it, Mickey. Just not used to hearing shit like that come out of your mouth, yeah?”

She turned back to the stove where she was cooking dinner, “Go wash your hands. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Mickey walked over to the kitchen sink, which Mandy always hounded him for using instead of the one in the bathroom (what the fuck was the difference?) and washed his hands and dried them on the dish towel.

“Want me to grab some plates?”

Mandy smiled thankfully at him, “Yeah, Mick, that’d be great. Thanks.”

He grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinet and brought them over next to the stove, “What’re you making?”

“New recipe,” she said, mixing everything together in the pan, “chicken fajitas on lettuce leaves.”

Mickey shrugged, “I already ate, but that sounds really good. I reserve the right to grab the wraps from the pantry instead, though.”

Mandy rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Mickey.”

She finished the fajita mixture in the pan and plated everything up before bringing it over to the table. They sat down to eat, and everything was silent for a bit before she spoke up.

“Seriously, though, today was good? You think you’re gonna like it there?”

Mickey nodded as he ate, “Oh, yeah, definitely. I, uh, I actually ran into someone there from the old neighborhood. Another peer support guy.”

“Oh, yeah? Who the fuck else would’ve put forth the effort to do something different with their lives?”

“Ian Gallagher…you remember him?”

Mandy’s eyes grew wide, “Fuck, yes, I remember him! He was a little gangly, but when junior year started, he was the hottest guy in my grade! Holy fuck, Mick! I’m coming to visit you at work sometime this week. Is he still hot?”

To his horror, Mickey felt himself start to blush, and he cleared his throat, “Yeah, he’s, uh, I guess…he looks pretty good. You know, healthy…ahem…and all that.”

Mandy snorted a laugh, “He looks ‘healthy’? The fuck does that mean, Mick? Wait a second…oh my gosh, do you have a crush? That’s adorable, Mickey!”

“Fuck off, I do not have a stupid crush. He’s just…okay, yes, he’s fucking gorgeous, okay?”

“I bet he’s fucking gay, too, isn’t he? All the best looking guys are.”

Mickey nodded, “He sure as fuck is, and thank you.”

Mandy rolled her eyes, “Obviously, I wasn’t talking about you. Seriously, though, I would like to see him sometime. Is he dating anyone?”

Mickey’s face dropped as he nodded, “Unfortunately. He’s dating some douche named Adam. Apparently the guy’s a real piece of work, according to what I overheard Ash and Geneva talking about.”

At the confused look on Mandy’s face, he explained, “They’re the other 2 peer support people there.”

Mandy nodded in understanding, “So, what’re you gonna do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how’re you gonna win fair Ian’s heart?”

“Jesus, could you sound more gay?”

“Newsflash, Mick. You are gay.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, “’m not gonna do anything, Mandy. If it happens, it happens, but I’m not gonna be the asshole who tries to step in and break a couple up. I’m just gonna, you know, get to know him, be around him, shit like that.”

“Holy shit,” a smile started to break out on Mandy’s face, “you’re playing the long game, aren’t you? Ever since I found out you like dick, I never thought I’d see the day when you were willing to put in the time for someone and just let it happen. Wow, Mick…wait, hold on, did you hear that?” Mandy cupped her hand around her ear like she was trying to hear something, and Mickey looked at her like she was crazy.

“The only thing I hear are the people walking around on the 4^th floor right above us. What the fuck are you talking about, Mandy?”

She looked back at him with a shit-eating grin, “I think that was the sound of hell freezing over, Mick. Who ever would’ve thought?”

Despite his best efforts, Mickey felt his blush deepen, “Why the fuck do I tell you anything?”

Mandy dialed back her efforts to annoy Mickey and gave him a genuine smile, “Seriously, Mickey, I think that’s great. I just never thought I’d see it.”

“Yeah, well, don’t count on anything happening…not yet, anyway.”

Mandy grinned, “Got it. I trust you’ll keep me informed.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, “Of course I fucking will.”

They ate in silence for a few more minutes, then Mickey said, “Okay, enough about my day, how was yours? How was work?”

Mandy had landed a receptionist job at an up and coming tech company and had recently been promoted to assistant for the CEO of the company.

She finished chewing a bite of food, “Oh, my god, we so should’ve started with me. My boss is such a sleaze.”

Mickey immediately looked concerned, “He try something with you?”

Mandy shook her head, “Oh, god, no. All it took was one ‘go to hell’ look from me, and he’s been nothing but professional where I’m concerned. All day long, though, he constantly has people in and out of his office for ‘meetings.’”

Mickey looked confused, “How is that sleazy? Isn’t that what business people are supposed to do?”

Mandy gave him a knowing look, “Business people don’t usually moan continuously through their meetings, do they?”

Mickey almost choked on his food, “Fuck…how many people we talking about?”

Mandy mentally counted them up, “I think it was 8 today, 6 yesterday.”

“Jesus…is he fucking everyone who works there?”

Mandy chuckled, “I think so, honestly. And he doesn’t discriminate. It’s men and women who go in there.”

“And you know for a fact that in every single ‘meeting,’ he’s fucking them?”

Mandy shrugged, “Maybe not fucking them, but it’s something of a sexual nature.”

Mickey chuckled again, “What a fucking job, man. Can you imagine? What’s sleazeball’s name?”

“Brian,” Mandy responded, “His name is Brian. Oh! And I left out the best part. He’s in an honest to god relationship with someone, and he’s still fucking around with all those people at the company.”

“Jesus,” Mickey shook his head, “sounds like karma’s gonna find its way to him in the form of a big ol’ STD.”

Mandy laughed and nodded, “You’re telling me!”

They were almost finished with dinner by that point, so Mickey offered to wash the dishes since Mandy had cooked. She was tired from work, so she was more than happy to go take a bath while Mickey did that.

While Mickey washed the dishes, he couldn’t keep his thoughts from trailing to Ian. He replayed the time they’d spent together that day, and Mickey couldn’t help but blush and bite his lip as he thought about it. Mickey meant what he’d said to Mandy. He wasn’t going to be the guy who stepped in to break a couple up, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t…fantasize a little.

He thought about Ian’s red hair, how it looked so soft, and how all he wanted to do was reach up and touch it, tangle his fingers in it. He thought about his eyes, how they changed color from green to blue, depending on the light in the room or what he was feeling. He thought about his lips, how they looked like they’d fit perfectly in between his. He thought about his…

“Mickey?”

He startled and almost dropped the plate he’d been washing, apparently the entire time he’d been daydreaming. He managed to catch it, and when he looked at Mandy, he knew his thoughts were written all over his face.

She smirked at him and said, “Those are my favorite plates, Mickey, and it took me forever to wait until they went on sale so I could afford them. Don’t let your fantasies about Ian’s dick cause you to break one of them.”

Mickey bit his lip and blushed, “Yeah, whatever, I had it.”

Mandy raised an eyebrow, “I called your name three times while I watched you wash the same plate, Mickey.”

He blushed even harder and looked away, “Whatever, it’s fine now.”

God, how she loved to tease her brother, and now that she actually had something to tease him about…it might be mean, but she was looking forward to seeing how things unfolded and giving Mickey a hard time about it along the way.

For tonight, though…

“I’m gonna go on and turn in, Mick. I’ve gotta be to work early tomorrow morning.”

Mickey nodded, “Cool. I doubt I’ll be up when you leave, so I’ll see you tomorrow evening, I guess.”

Mandy nodded in response and started to head to her room but couldn’t resist one last dig, “If you are gonna fantasize about Ian some more, can you at least keep your solo activities to a dull roar? Some of us need our sleep, and these walls are not that thick, Mickey.”

Mickey threw up a soapy middle finger at her, and he could hear her giggling to herself as she walked down the hallway.

He decided that it was probably a good idea for him to finish washing the dishes first. There was always time to delve back into his imagination later.

Mickey woke up the next morning in a daze. He didn’t often remember his dreams, but the ones from the previous night had been so incredibly vivid. And of course, Ian had been the star of them. Mickey had to marvel at how the dreams hadn’t even been that sexually explicit. He had dreamt of the two of them just being together, and somewhere in there, he might’ve started to get on his knees for Ian.

Mickey stretched as he prepared to get up. He checked his phone and saw that it was 9:00. It was a little early, but that would give him time to take a shower, get some coffee, and head in to his job without having to rush. He looked under the covers, and even if his dreams hadn’t gotten to the super sexually explicit part yet, it was still enough to warrant a morning erection.

First things first, he thought, as he reached for the lube he kept in his bedside table. A shower and coffee could wait.

Mickey got off the L and walked down the sidewalk toward the shelter. Ian aside, he really was excited about this job and the work they did there. So far, he liked everyone he was going to be working with, and even though the previous day had been his first one, he thought he might’ve actually started to make a connection with some of the kids.

It was a great feeling.

When he got to the shelter, he was a solid 15 minutes early, which surprised even him. When was the last time he’d shown up early anywhere? He shook his head and smiled to himself as he opened the door.

He walked in, coffee in hand, and headed back to the peer support counselors’ office. It was really just a large room with 4 desks in it, but they all had their own space, so it wasn’t that bad. Ash was already there, and Mickey greeted them as he set his stuff down.

They smiled at him and said, “Since I’m the first one here, then you get the opportunity to hang out with me today.”

Mickey nodded and smiled at them, “Cool. So, when I got here yesterday, Ian showed me around and went through the schedule with me, which ate up a lot of the time before the kids got here. The kids don’t come until the afternoon, so what do you all usually do in the mornings before they get here?”

Ash nodded, “Great question. In the mornings, we usually talk about anything significant the kids shared in small groups or one on one the day before. We all have our own small groups, but the kids know all of us, so it’s important for everyone to stay informed if someone has something going on that we need to be aware of. In the early afternoons, we try to follow up on potential placements for the kids. Most of them are in the system—we occasionally have one or two who live at home but might be struggling, so they stop by for some support or to check it out—but most of them have state appointed guardians who are supposed to be trying to find more permanent housing for them. We’re happy to provide them with a safe place to stay, but this is supposed to be temporary until they find a safe and more permanent place to go. Some kids are here for a week, some for months…all depends on the guardian and availability of placements.”

Mickey nodded, “That’s really cool that all of you care so much about these kids. Do you ever have any repeats? You know, kids who go to a placement, but it doesn’t work out, so they come back here?”

Ash nodded, “Yeah, we see that a lot more than we’d like to, honestly. When kids leave here, we wish them the best, you know? We want them to be going to a better place where they can have a family and be successful and have a better life than the one they had when they were younger. Doesn’t always work out like that, though, unfortunately. And when that happens, we welcome them back here until the next opportunity comes around.”

Mickey nodded and smiled but paused before saying anything else.

Ash noticed the thoughtful expression on his face and asked, “What?”

Mickey shot them a sad sort of smile, “Just thinking about how things might’ve been different for me and my sister if there had been a place like this for us when we were growing up.”

Ash smiled in response, “I think things might’ve been different for all of us if we’d had a place like this when we were kids.”

It was about that time that Geneva and Ian walked in together. Geneva was as bright and bubbly as ever as she swept into the room and wished everyone a good morning. Ian, on the other hand, looked awful. Don’t get Mickey wrong, he was still gorgeous, but the light in his eyes from the previous day was incredibly dim, and he looked like he hadn’t slept at all the previous night.

He came in, set his stuff down, sat down at his desk and immediately put his arms on top of the desk and his head down on them.

“Rough night?” Geneva asked sympathetically.

“Mmph,” came the response.

“Come on, Ian, why don’t you come with me to the kitchen to make some coffee? We’ll get you to perk up before Mary swings by to check in.”

Ian lifted his head from his arms and nodded before scrubbing his hands over his face and rubbing his eyes. He followed Geneva, bleary-eyed, out of the office and to the kitchen.

Mickey looked at Ash, “Is he okay?”

Ash shrugged, “I don’t know. He tends to keep what happens in his life outside of here pretty close to the vest. We know his story about how he came to be a peer support counselor, but aside from that, anything you might’ve heard Geneva and myself talking about when we were walking out last night was mostly observation and speculation. He and Geneva are pretty close, so he might share things here and there with her, but she doesn’t run her mouth about the things he tells her.”

Mickey nodded thoughtfully. Maybe in the midst of his plans to play the long game, he could focus on becoming Ian’s friend. Even if things didn’t work out for them romantically, Mickey could already tell that Ian was a good person to have on your side. And maybe having a friend outside of Mandy wouldn’t hurt him either.

Chapter Text

Ian and Geneva returned from the kitchen with their own cups of coffee and ones for Ash and Mickey, too. Ian set Mickey’s down in front of him, along with a handful of creamers and sugar.

“Sorry,” Ian looked at Mickey sheepishly, “I don’t know how you take your coffee, so I just brought a little of everything.”

Mickey was touched by the friendly gesture, “Hey, no worries, man. Thanks for this, I really appreciate it. If you want to know, though, I don’t usually use cream, but,” he held up about 5 sugar packets, “I do put a shit ton of sugar in it.”

Ian smiled and nodded, “Good to know.”

Mickey couldn’t resist flirting a little with him as he shot Ian a smile and shrugged, “I like ‘em sweet.”

Ian blushed as he looked down and smiled to himself, and it gave Mickey a little thrill when he did.

They were all sipping their coffees in silence when Mary came by.

“Why’s it so quiet in here?” she asked gruffly, “Did this place turn into a morgue or something last night?”

Geneva smiled at Mary’s brusque nature and said, “I think we’re just all in the process of caffeinating right now.”

Mary nodded then looked around, “Anything of note I need to know this morning?”

Ash piped up, “We haven’t had a chance to discuss yesterday’s small groups yet, but I’m planning to call Damian’s guardian this afternoon. He said he thought he’d found a placement for him, so I’m going to follow up, and I’ll let you know what he says.”

Mary nodded and wrote it down on the pad of paper she was carrying, “Anyone else?”

Geneva shook her head, “Everything’s steady with my group right now.”

Mary turned to look at Ian, who looked like he was still trying to wake up, “Gallagher? You want to chime in here?”

Ian covered his mouth as he yawned, “Sorry, Mary, ummmmm…oh, yeah, Tara’s mom sent her a letter over the weekend. Sounds like she’s trying to reach out and re-establish contact with her.”

Mary nodded and wrote that down on her pad, “You handling that, Gallagher?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, ‘m gonna talk more about it with her and see how she feels about it. If it turns out that she wants to reconnect with her, I’ll let you know so you can contact the lawyer on her case about it. I can contact her guardian.”

Mary nodded once more, “Good,” then she turned to Mickey, “How was your first day, Milkovich?”

Mickey smiled, “It was good. You’ve got a great bunch of people here—kids and counselors.”

He couldn’t help but glance over at Ian when he said that, and he watched as Ian’s face turned a subtle shade of pink.

Mary continued, “You were with Gallagher yesterday, so I guess you’ll be with Ash today and Müller tomorrow. Let me know if you need anything.”

She turned back to Ian, “Gallagher, everything okay this morning?”

Ian nodded as he tried to force his eyes to open wider so he looked more awake than he felt, “Yeah, Mary, ‘m okay, just didn’t sleep well last night, I guess.”

She gave him a calculating look like she thought there was more to the story, but finally, she said, “Okay, well, try to get some rest tonight. You look like hell.”

And with that, she swept out of their office to, presumably, return to her own.

After she left, Geneva turned to Ian, “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

Ian sent her a ghost of a smile, “Yeah, G, I’m fine. I’ll just go to bed earlier tonight.”

It was obvious from the expression on Geneva’s face that she didn’t believe him, but she decided to drop it for now.

“Okay,” she turned her attention to everyone, “let’s talk about groups from yesterday. Who’s got stuff to share?”

Over the course of the next hour, Mickey learned more about the kids who came to the shelter. He knew it’d be a long time before he could remember everyone’s name, but he listened as Ash talked about one of the kids in their group who had shared one on one that they thought they might be transgender but wanted to go by they/them until they knew for sure. Thankfully, the group had been respectful, and a couple of the younger kids had asked thoughtful and curious questions, which this kid had been happy to answer.

Geneva talked about a couple of the kids in her group who were both being bullied at school because they didn’t have the newest clothes or shoes. She shared that she had recommended they try to avoid the bullies or tell a teacher, and if neither one of those things worked, she had helped them come up with some things to say to confront the issue with the bullies themselves.

Ian waved them off as the only person he’d had anything to share about was Tara, and he had already done that.

Mickey couldn’t help but want to know more, though, “What’s the deal with Tara’s mom?”

Ian sighed, “Her mom had her when she was pretty young. She was a single mom, dad left as soon as she told him she was pregnant. She dated several men when Tara was just a baby, and when she was about 3 or 4, one of the men got her mom hooked on heroin. Tara was removed from her care when she was about 5, I think. Her mom has gotten caught in a cycle, though. She’ll go to jail, go to some NA groups, thinks she can stay clean when she gets out, but she always relapses within 6 months to a year. This is Tara’s 4^th or 5^thtime back in here. This time, though, her mom went to a 2-year inpatient treatment facility. In her letter, it said she wasn’t allowed to have contact with anyone for the first year, and she’d just reached the part of the program where she could contact friends and family again. She told Tara that when she gets out of the treatment facility, she wants her back.”

Mickey thought about that for a minute, “Isn’t that a good thing, though? If she’s been in this place for a year and is gonna be there for another year, that’s a pretty long time. Isn’t it good that she wants to reconnect with her daughter?”

Ian shrugged and smiled sadly at Mickey, “Kinda hard to believe that this time is gonna be different than all the rest have been.”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I guess I see what you mean.”

Ian continued, “Of course Tara’s torn about what she wants to do. She said that in the letter, it sounds like her mom’s in a really good place now—physically, mentally, emotionally—but there’s no guarantee that she’ll stay in that good place when she gets out.”

They all murmured their agreement with the situation, and then Geneva asked, “What about you, Mickey? Did you have a chance to talk with any of the kids yesterday?”

Mickey remembered his time with D’mitri and smiled, “Yeah, actually, I helped D’mitri with his homework yesterday.”

Ian had already known about that, but Geneva and Ash looked at each other in shock and disbelief, and Ash was the first one to speak up.

“D’mitri? Fifteen-year-old, smart ass, DGAF about nothing attitude, D’mitri?? Let you help him with his homework??”

Mickey shrugged, “I guess…?”

“Wow,” Geneva said, shocked, “that’s pretty amazing, Mickey. Don’t get me wrong, that’s awesome that you connected with him, but…wow…”

Mickey looked confused, “Why do you say that?”

At first no one said anything, and it was Ian who finally spoke up, “D’mitri’s father was an abusive son of a bitch. D’mitri joined a ‘gang’ and started getting in trouble at school, doing pranks and shit after school was over. His dad was abusive to all the kids and their mom, but when D’mitri started getting in trouble, it got worse for him. No one could do anything to stop him, but one night, he almost killed D’mitri, he beat him so badly. His mom hid and called 9-1-1, and they came and arrested his dad. Removed the kids from the home. His younger brothers were pretty easy to place with a foster family, but D’mitri sabotaged every placement they tried for him until they brought him here. He’s been here with us for almost a year, and it took him almost half that time to talk to any of us or accept help from anyone. The fact that you were able to do that the first day you met him…it’s pretty remarkable, Mickey.”

Mickey was in shock and understood the looks of surprise everyone had at finding out that D’mitri had finally taken a step to trusting someone new.

As he was wont to do, he tried to brush it off like it wasn’t a big deal and shrugged, “I just helped him with some Algebra. He asked me when he would ever use it, and I told him that I definitely didn’t use it in my daily life, but if he learned it, he’d be able to move passed it, which would get him closer to being able to do more with his life, and why would he let Algebra be the thing that stood in his way.”

Geneva, Ash, and Ian all exchanged looks, and Geneva looked back at Mickey, “Trust us when we say that’s a big deal, Mickey, and it’s a good thing.”

Mickey blushed and averted his eyes as he nodded and muttered, “Thanks.”

There were a few moments of silence, and then Ash cleared their throat, “Okay, well, I’m gonna call some of these guardians and light a fire under their asses about following through with these placements they keep talking about. Mickey, do you wanna come sit over here with me so you can go through these files as I call them? It’ll help you learn more about the kids.”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, sure,” before rolling his desk chair over to their desk.

As he sat there and read through the files, he couldn’t help but glance over at Ian every now and again. Ian sat at his desk and flipped through the files of what Mickey guessed were the kids in his group, making a few notes along the way, and looking just as miserable, if not more so, as when he’d gotten there that morning. Time flew by, and before Mickey knew it, it was around 2, which is when, he found out, his co-workers usually took their 30 minute lunch breaks.

He hadn’t brought anything with him, so he went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich and grab a bag of chips. When he got back to the office, Geneva and Ash were in there, but there was no sign of Ian.

Mickey nodded towards Ian’s desk, “Hey, where’d he go?”

Geneva and Ash exchanged a look, and Geneva said, “I think he went to one of the quiet rooms to take a power nap.”

Mickey nodded, then said, “I’m gonna go ask him if he wants something to eat.”

He pretended not to see the smirks on Geneva’s and Ash’s faces as he slipped down the hallway. The doors to the quiet rooms were all wide open except for one that was slightly cracked. Mickey peeked in and saw Ian laying down on the couch with his eyes closed. He didn’t want to disturb him, so he knocked quietly and all but whispered, “Hey, man, I’m sorry to wake you up. I just wanted to see if you were hungry. I can fix you a sandwich if you didn’t bring anything.”

Ian cracked one eye open and gave Mickey a brief smile, “Nah, but thanks. I’ll just grab a Kind bar from my desk and eat when I get back in there.”

Mickey nodded, “Okay, are you sure?”

Ian’s eyes were closed again, but he murmured, “Mm-hmm. Thanks, Mickey.”

Mickey went back to the office to eat, and at Ash & Geneva’s questioning looks, he shrugged, “He said he’d just grab a Kind bar from his desk.”

Ash shot a look at Geneva, who shrugged before returning to her lunch. They all ate in silence for a bit, and then Mickey cleared his throat, “So, I know I’m new here, but I’m just curious to know…Can I ask about how you both came to be peer support counselors?”

Ash looked at Geneva, “You wanna go first?”

Geneva shrugged, “Sure,” then turned to Mickey, “feel free to ask us anything about that. It’s part of the reason why we’re here, and I think it makes us better support counselors to know the stories of the people you’re working with. I was molested by my uncle when I was younger, from the time I was 6 until I was 10. No one believed me, so I didn’t say anything more about it. I started cutting when I was 13 and did it for a couple of years. My mom found out when I was 15 and sent me to an adolescent psych unit. I was there for about a year, mainly because she wouldn’t agree for me to come home. The case worker on the unit finally lined up a support family home for me, and it was the best thing that ever could’ve happened. The couple who owned the house were like the parents I never had. Getting my GED and going to individual therapy were part of the conditions of staying there, so that’s what I did. Started working through the trauma of what happened when I was a kid and everything that came after that. I stayed there for 2 years, until I turned 18, then they set me up in my own apartment and connected me with a job, paid half the rent and utilities until I saved up enough money to pay for it on my own. I found out about being a peer support specialist from my therapist and thought if I can just help one kid…help one person feel heard, validate their feelings, support them, it would make going what I went through…well, not worth it, necessarily, but it would be great that I could use my own experience to help someone else.”

Mickey nodded, then Geneva turned to Ash, “Okay, there’s my trauma dump. On to you, Ash.”

Ash smiled at Geneva’s casual shift over to them, and they took a deep breath before beginning their story, “For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt different. I was born, biologically, a boy, but I never felt like one, even when I was young. I didn’t really feel like a girl, either, so it was really confusing as I was growing up. When I became a teenager, I tried that persona on. I stole my sister’s dresses and makeup and tried to see if that felt more comfortable than the t-shirts and shorts or jeans I always wore. I tried that a few times until she caught me and started screaming, calling me a ‘freak’ and yelling at me to take her clothes off. It was loud enough that it caught the attention of my parents. I grew up in an extremely conservative and religious household. My mama came rushing in when my sister started screaming, and she tried to rip the dress off of me. Meanwhile, my sister’s screaming even more because it was one of her favorites. Then, my father came in the room. He was a big man with a commanding voice, and he yelled for everyone to shut up and leave the room. They did, and I can still remember how it felt for him to whoop me to the point of beating me that day. Said I was a boy, and it was time for me to become a man, and the first lesson of that was learning how to be tough. I had bruises on my body for weeks, but they were hard to see because of how dark my skin is. I stopped trying on dresses after that, and no one in my family talked to me for 3 weeks afterwards. Somehow, someone at school found out, and the news spread like wildfire. Kids started bullying me, calling me names. In order to get them to stop, I started getting in fights, and I would bully other kids who were LGBTQ+ because of how much I hated myself. I started drinking and doing drugs so I could numb those feelings. When I was 17, I overdosed, and my sister was the one who found me. She called 9-1-1, and after I came through it, my parents sent me away to a rehab facility. I hated all of them so much because I kind of felt like they were the ones who caused me to start doing it. While I was there, I went to group therapy and had an individual therapist, and I talked and worked my way through everything that had happened. The therapists there helped me see that I don’t have to be one way or the other, I can just be me, and ‘me’ is Ash. There were a couple of peer support counselors who worked there, and they were the ones who told me about the process.”

Mickey nodded thoughtfully, “Do you talk to anyone in your family?”

Ash sighed, “My sister and I text and call every now and again. One of the things they had at the rehab facility where I went was an opportunity for family therapy days. She’s the only one who showed up, so we were able to hash things out. She cried and apologized for the day she’d found me wearing her dresses and started screaming. She apologized for distancing herself from me after that and for not reaching out when she could tell I was struggling. We made our peace, so we’re good. It’s just hard to stay in touch. As soon as she turned 18, she went to college in California to get away from our parents, and she’s been there ever since,” they shrugged, “My parents told me when I was rehab not to bother coming home unless it was as their son.”

Mickey nodded and swallowed the emotions in his throat, “That…wow…what you both went through was really…shitty. I can’t imagine going through all that and still trying to see the good in people, or you know, trying to be a better person for other people.”

Geneva looked at Mickey, “I’m sure you have your own shitty past experiences, Mickey. No one comes into this work without it, so trying to see the good in people and trying to be a better person for other people is exactly what you’re doing, too.”

It was around that time that Ian came back to the office, still a little bleary eyed, but more awake than he’d looked before lunch. He went to his desk and sat down, opening a drawer to grab a Kind bar. He looked around at the mostly quiet room and asked, “You guys okay? It’s so quiet in here.”

Geneva explained, “Trauma dump. Mickey asked me and Ash about how we came to be peer support counselors.”

“Ah,” Ian nodded, “so, who’s up now?”

Ash turned to look at him, “That’d be either you or Mickey.”

Ian took a bite of his Kind bar, then gave a wave to Mickey, “Bipolar, forgotten middle child. I started showing signs of it when I was 17, I guess, didn’t want to admit that anything was wrong. Had a break when I was 18, and my family took me to the Cook County psych ward. I was there for a week and a half then, and again when I was almost 20 for…longer…I got out when I was 21, and they set up outpatient appointments for me to follow up on. Got on meds and actually stayed on them that time and found out about being a peer support counselor from an ex-boyfriend, actually. Mostly been stable ever since.”

Mickey nodded, then asked, “So, bipolar…what does that…what all does that…”

Ian answered the question Mickey couldn’t quite form, “It’s really high highs followed by really low lows. The really high highs feel amazing, like you can do anything you want to, and you never want that feeling to end. But eventually it does, and when the low lows hit, it physically hurts to move or try to get out of bed because of how exhausting it feels. Even with being stable on meds, I can still have low periods or periods of hypomania, which means I’m not quite manic, but I’m definitely running on a higher level of energy than usual. All the high highs and the low lows can lead to, uh, other really bad things, too.”

He said the last part quietly, so Mickey decided not to pry.

All eyes turned towards him, and he sent them all a small smile, “Guess that means it’s my turn, then. Um, grew up South Side with a horrendous human being for a father. He used to beat us for fun, trying to toughen us up. We’d go on drug and gun runs all the time for him to make some money. Also used to take us with him and his crew over to Boystown where they’d beat up fa…sorry…they’d, ahem, beat up the guys who were over there. They’d also beat up anyone who looked different than they did. I got caught up in his hustles and cons and did a couple of stints in juvie. After I turned 18, I was arrested a few times for shoplifting, possession with intent to sell, and B&E. Was on probation when my sister called me one night screaming. I could hear her boyfriend yelling in the background, threatening to kill her if she didn’t get off the phone. I had tunnel vision all the way to her house that night, and when I got there, he was standing over her with a knife. I didn’t even think. I just kicked him in the side, which caused him to drop the knife. We started fighting, and somehow, we ended up outside. I grabbed the closest thing I could find, which was a crowbar and started going to town on him. Mandy yelled at me to stop, but the only thing I could think of was all the times he’d beaten her before and hearing him threaten to kill her. I kept going even after he stopped moving. Police showed up to arrest me, ambulance came to take her and him to the hospital, and I found out later that night that he died. Was charged with third degree murder, sentenced to 10 years, got out on parole after 5, and a year later, here I am. I, uh, went to the prison psychologist while I was in there, found out about this peer support stuff from her.”

He looked around the room expecting to see judgment, especially after admitting he’d killed someone, but all he saw were kind smiles and nods. Everyone sat thoughtfully for a few moments after Mickey was done, and Geneva broke the silence with a smile, “See, what’d I tell you? Coming through past shitty life experiences and still trying to see the good in people and be a better person for them. That’s you, too, Mickey.”

Mickey blushed and looked away as he gruffly said, “Yeah, I guess so.”

He glanced over at Ian who was looking at him softly with a small smile on his face. When their eyes met, Ian nodded, indicating that he agreed with what Geneva had just said.

It was about that time that they heard voices coming in the front entrance, and Ian’s eyes got wide, “Shit! What time is it? I’ve gotta do snacks!”

With that, he was up and down the hall to the kitchen in a matter of seconds. Mickey, Ash, and Geneva all followed a few steps behind him. They didn’t want Ian to get in trouble with Mary for not having the snacks ready, so they all chipped in to help get things together in the scant few seconds they had before the kids came filing in from school.

They managed to gather everything together just in time and got snacks handed out to everyone as they came through. Afterwards, Ian looked at all of them with a grateful but exhausted smile.

“Holy shit, thank you to all of you…Mary would’ve had my ass if she knew the snacks weren’t ready when they got in from school.”

The rest of them smiled and waved it off. Geneva and Ash went out to the rec room to make the rounds before everyone broke into small groups, and Mickey hung back at the door of the kitchen and watched as Ian splashed cold water on his face, an obvious attempt at trying to wake himself up to be able to finish his shift.

After he patted his face dry, Mickey noticed that his eyes were starting to look bloodshot, and he took a deep breath, “Hey, I, uh, I know we just met yesterday, and you don’t really know anything about me, but are you sure you’re okay?”

Ian attempted a smile, but since Mickey had seen what a real Ian Gallagher smile looked like, he knew the smile Ian was giving him wasn’t one.

Ian shrugged it off, “Yeah, I just really didn’t sleep well last night. Believe me when I say my plans are to go from here straight home and to bed when we’re done for the evening.”

Mickey couldn’t help feeling like there was something more, but he didn’t know Ian well enough yet to push the subject. Instead, he just said, “Okay, well, you know, if it’s ever more than that, you can, uh, you can talk to me if you want.”

Ian gave him a smile of gratitude, “Thanks, Mickey. I really do appreciate that. Now, we better get out there. It’s almost small group time.”

Mickey had gone to Ash’s small group with them, which had been cool, but he realized he had felt more of a connection with the kids who had been in Ian’s group the day before. Many of the kids in Ash’s group were younger, and they seemed really shy around him. He guessed he couldn’t blame them since he was a brand new face to them, but the small group had only lasted 10 minutes since most of the kids were tight lipped around a new person. Ash had looked at him apologetically and had asked if any of the kids had something they wanted to discuss one-on-one. When all of them had raised their hands, Ash had dismissed small group and started meeting with them individually.

Mickey made his way back to the rec room and saw Ian’s small group seated across the room. He didn’t want to interrupt, so he went to the kitchen where he ran into Mary.

“Oh, uh, hey, Mary, I was just coming to see what was on the menu for dinner tonight.”

“Milkovich,” she nodded at him, “looks like meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans for tonight. Don’t supposed you know how to make any of those, do you?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, actually, I used to make mashed potatoes for me and my sister growing up. They were loaded, though. ‘s that okay to fix here?”

“Depends on what they’re loaded with,” Mary arched an eyebrow at him.

Mickey bit back a smile, “Bacon bits, cheese, and either sour cream or ranch dressing?”

Mary nodded at him appraisingly, “Yeah, that sounds good to me, Milkovich. We should have all those ingredients, but you might want to check the fridge just to make sure.”

With that, she headed out of the kitchen, and Mickey went to look in the fridge. Thankfully, he found cheese, ranch dressing, and half a small bag of bacon bits that were still good. He put all of them together and made a mental note to mention to Ian that he’d head up making the mashed potatoes.

He headed back to the rec room, and Ian’s group had just dismissed for homework time. Mickey walked over to D’mitri to ask him about homework.

“Hey, Mickey, where were you today?” D’mitri greeted him.

“Hey, D’mitri, they have me shadowing the different counselors so I can see how they do things. I was with Ian yesterday, ‘m with Ash today, and ‘ll be with Geneva tomorrow. But I know I’d told you yesterday that I’d be happy to help you with your homework today if you needed it, so…do you?”

D’mitri shrugged, “Yeah, I guess I could use some more help with those equations, but I have to tell you my teacher was super impressed with the work you helped me with yesterday. At first, the stupid bitch didn’t even believe I’d done it. I had to work through 2 problems while she watched me like a hawk to prove to her I knew the steps I was supposed to follow.”

Mickey gave him a genuine smile, “That’s great, D’mitri!” Then he lowered his voice, “But I don’t think you’re supposed to refer to your teachers as ‘stupid bitches.’”

D’mitri rolled his eyes, “C’mon, Mickey! I thought you were cool!”

Mickey looked at him confused, “The fuck does that mean?”

“You know, we’re supposed to ‘watch our language’ or whatever around the younger kids, but, like, this is how I talk. It’s a part of who I am. How the fuck am I supposed to change that?”

“D’mitri,” a gently warning tone came from behind him in the form of Ian.

D’mitri rolled his eyes as he turned around, “What?”

Ian gave him a look, and D’mitri heaved a huge sigh, “Yeah, I know, sorry or whatever, I guess.”

Mickey looked at D’mitri, “So, Algebra?”

Under his breath, D’mitri muttered, “Fuckin’ Algebra.”

Chapter Text

Mickey tried to find Ian after he was finished helping D’mitri with his homework. It had gone just as smoothly as it did the day before, and this time, D’mitri actually thanked him for helping him with his homework. Mickey had smiled at him and ushered him towards the kitchen when they were done. When he got there, Ian was already deep into supervising the making of the meatloaf. Mickey had gone over to the potatoes station with a couple of the kids and showed them how to cut the potatoes before putting them in a pot to boil before mashing them.

Ian showed the kids how to form the meatloaf into an actual loaf, and that was going in the oven right when Mickey was in the thick of watching and supervising the potatoes, so he didn’t have a chance to talk to him then, either. He did manage to catch Ian’s eye while he was instructing the kids on which seasonings and toppings to add, and Ian gave him a smile and an impressed nod as he watched the loaded mashed potatoes being made.

Mickey had returned his smile, then refocused on the potatoes so he could make sure they weren’t being overloaded with anything. It was about that time that the meatloaf was done and everything was prepped to serve. Just like the previous night, the kids came through the line and got their food. This time, Ian got a plate, too, but he sat at a table with some of the kids, so Mickey didn’t really get a chance to talk to him then, either.

When everyone was done, they all helped clear the table, and Mickey and Ian were on dish duty. They were left alone in the kitchen, and finally, Mickey had Ian all to himself. It had been a good day, and he’d enjoyed it, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss the time he’d spent with the redhead the day before.

Ian washed the dishes and handed them to Mickey to dry, and he was so methodical when it came to washing them that Mickey commented on it.

“Hey, man, were you a professional dishwasher in a past life or something?”

Ian cracked a smile, “Or something,” and Mickey saw a hint of the twinkle in his eye from the day before.

Ian cleared his throat before continuing, “Nah, when you grow up in a house of six kids, and your big sister is like a 2^nd mom to everyone, you end up on dishwashing duty often enough to become a pro at it. After my first stint in, uh, Cook County, I also briefly had a job as a busboy/dishwasher at Patsy’s Pies.”

“Six kids? I mean, I knew there were a lot of you Gallaghers, but fucking hell, man. There were only 4 of us at home, and even that wasn’t all at the same time.”

Ian smiled, “Yeah,” then his smile turned a little sad, “that’s where the forgotten middle child syndrome comes in. I was the one who was always quiet and never a problem…until I was,” he shook it off and tried to brighten a little, “but that’s all in the past now. Let’s see how many dishes we have left.”

Mickey took in all the things he was learning about Ian little by little. Unfortunately, it was about that time that they heard, “Ian! Adam’s here!”

Ian looked at the clock, and to his surprise, it was 6:55 instead of Adam’s insistence on getting there 15 minutes early. He turned back to Mickey and said, “Hey, thanks for helping me with the dishes. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mickey smiled at him, “It’s no problem, really.”

They both walked back to the office to grab their stuff, and when they got to the rec room, Adam looked awkward standing over by the door, but at least he wasn’t being a condescending ass like he had been the night before. Mickey didn’t want to walk out with them, but he didn’t have a good reason to stay behind, so he ended up a few steps behind them on their way out the door.

They walked over to some sort of fancy car and started to get in, and to Mickey’s surprise, Adam called out to him, “Hey, what was your name again? Mick or Nick or something like that?”

Mickey turned and said, “Mickey. It’s Mickey.”

“Okay, well, Mickey, can we offer you a ride home? As I’m sure you know, this neighborhood isn’t exactly the safest place, so…”

“Nah, man, thanks or whatever, but you don’t have to.”

“Come on,” Adam said, “you’ll get there a lot faster if you ride with us.”

Mickey didn’t feel like he had a good reason to say no, and it would be nice to get home faster instead of waiting on the L. He made his decision, shrugged and said, “Okay, yeah, if you’re sure it won’t be any trouble.”

Adam gestured to the rear door for Mickey to get in, and once they were all seated in the car, Adam said, “Okay, make sure you’re clicked in,” then he slammed on the gas, and Mickey had no choice but to hold on.

He noticed Ian doing the same thing, and he couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation.

“What do you feel like doing tonight, E? We could go for drinks with some of my co-workers, or Dan and Jonathan reached out to see if we wanted to come over to their place for dinner. It’s been a while since we hung out with them, so I thought that might be fun.”

Ian groaned a little and said, “I’d really just like a quiet night in, Adam. I’m exhausted. It really sucked trying to get through today.”

Adam sighed, “Well, I tried to tell you this morning to call out for the day, but you decided to go in anyway.”

Mickey watched as Ian scrubbed a hand down his face, “I can’t just call out for being tired. It doesn’t work like that.”

Adam glanced over at Ian, then said, “Okay, yeah, we can do that. You could definitely use some rest, E. You really do look awful.”

Adam looked in the rear-view mirror at Mickey and tried to engage him in their conversation, “I try to tell Ian here all the time that gay men only have so many pretty years, so it’s important for us to capitalize on those, right, Mickey?”

Mickey looked surprised but shrugged and said, “Yeah, I guess.”

“I just realized I forgot to ask, but where exactly do you live?”

“Oh, uh, over in Near West Side. It’s 1111 South Ashland.”

Adam nodded and didn’t say anything more. Mickey could tell from the backseat that Ian had fallen asleep, and he really hoped that’s all that had been wrong with the ginger today. Adam pulled up with a screech of his brakes outside Mickey’s building, and the sound and sudden stop startled Ian awake.

No one said anything, so after a few moments, Mickey reached for the door, “Thanks for the ride, man. I appreciate it.”

Adam turned and smiled with that carefully crafted fake smile Mickey had seen the previous night, and he said, “Oh, it was no problem. Have a good night, Mickey!”

Mickey got out of the car, and Ian rolled down his window, “Hey, Mick, I just wanted to say you’re doing a really great job at the shelter. Thanks again for helping out with dinner this evening. Your mashed potatoes were amazing.”

Mickey couldn’t help the smile the blossomed on his face as he said, “Yeah, you’re welcome. It was fun, and I, uh, I’m glad you liked them.”

Ian smiled one more time at him before Adam revved his engine and took off down the street, not even giving them a chance to say good night to each other. Mickey let out a sigh, then climbed the stairs up to his apartment.

Meanwhile, Ian glared at Adam, “You could’ve at least let me say good night before taking off like that.”

When Adam spoke, it was in a low, eerily calm tone, “What the fuck was that?”

Ian looked at him confused, “What was what? I thanked him for helping tonight with dinner. Told him he was doing a good job.”

Adam snorted, “Really, Ian? ‘You’re doing a really great job at the shelter. Your mashed potatoes were amazing.’ You might as well have asked him to bend over for you right in front of me. Jesus, I know your history with fucking everything that moves, but if you are going to step out on me, could you at least have the decency to not do it with a low life thug?”

“I’m not cheating on you, Adam! I thanked him for helping with dinner, and I told him that the dish he was in charge of tasted good. I fail to see how that’s the equivalent of me asking to fuck him. You’re ridiculous!” Ian sputtered out.

He didn’t even see it coming until a slap rang through the air, and the side of his face started to sting. Tears immediately sprang to his eyes, and he raised his hand to soothe the heat the slap had left behind. He looked at Adam fearfully, but Adam looked just as calm as he had before he had slapped Ian across the face.

He watched the roads as he drove and quietly said, “Don’t ever call me ridiculous, Ian. I know what I saw. I don’t want you talking to him again.”

Ian kept his hand to the side of his face and said quietly, “I work with him, Adam. I have to talk to him.”

This time, he saw Adam raise his hand, and he flinched in response.

“What did I say, Ian?”

“I heard what you said, I just…”

*SMACK*

“You just what?”

“I-I-I’ll try, okay?”

It was about that time that they pulled up in the driveway of their house, and Adam turned to him, “That’s not what I said, Ian, but I guess as long as you really try, it’s good enough for now.”

Ian’s eyes were wide with fear as he nodded, and Adam reached out to cup his cheek. Ian flinched at the touch of Adam’s hand on his cheek, but Adam leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips, “I just love you so much, sweetie. I can’t stand the thought of you cheating on me with someone else. Now, what do you say we go change for bed and watch a movie until we fall asleep?”

Ian nodded silently, and Adam shot him a smile before getting out of the car. Ian took a few moments to get his breathing under control.

It wasn’t something that was completely out of the ordinary, but it had been a while since the last time Adam had laid a hand on him like this. The previous times, he had already been mad, and it had been something Ian had said or done that had led to him being slapped, and in one fit of rage, punched and kicked. He had gone to stay with Lip after that time, swearing up and down that he was done and leaving Adam and not going back, and he meant it.

Until Adam showed up at Lip’s door apologetic and in tears, trying to explain to Ian how stressed he’d been at work and how what Ian had said had been the final straw. He swore he would go to anger management classes, he would do anything as long as Ian would forgive him. Ian had given in and had gone back home with him. Adam really did seem genuinely sorry, and he had gone to anger management classes…once or twice…and things were okay again.

There was the occasional slap when Adam’s emotions got away from him, but Ian could handle that. And when Adam got particularly frustrated with him, he might grip his wrists really tightly, but he could handle that, too. All things considered, he really didn’t have it too bad for a 26 year old gay bipolar man whose looks were apparently in danger of slipping. Adam’s house was really nice. There was always food in the kitchen. His bed was amazing. And, since Ian didn’t have insurance, Adam readily shelled out the money for his expensive medications. When he considered that part especially, he could deal with the rest of it. He just needed to watch what he said so he didn’t make Adam angry. That was all.

By now, his breathing had returned to normal, so he went in the house and trudged up the stairs. Adam was already in a t-shirt and pajama pants under the covers, and he smiled at Ian like nothing was wrong when he walked in the room.

“Did you want to go ahead and take your evening meds and get ready for bed, honey?”

Ian looked at him confused. How could he act like everything was perfectly fine now?

“Ian?”

Ian shook himself from his stupor, “Um, yeah, I guess…I guess I could do that.”

Adam smiled at him caringly, “I just know those evening meds make you sleepy, so I was thinking if you wanted to go ahead and get ready for bed, you wouldn’t have to worry about getting up later on, and you could just go to sleep whenever. I know how tired you’ve been today.”

Ian was still wary at how nice Adam was being, but he smiled back at him, “Yeah, uh, that’s a good idea. I’ll go do that.”

Adam nodded and picked up his phone while Ian went through his nighttime routine. After he had changed out of his work clothes, taken his meds, and brushed his teeth, he arranged his pillows and settled into bed.

Adam grabbed the remote for their bedroom TV, “Okay, what do you want to watch?”

Ian shrugged, “Something I’ve seen before, maybe, so it won’t matter if I fall asleep during it.”

Adam smiled and nodded, “What about ‘Love, Simon’? I know that’s one of your favorites.”

Ian was touched. Adam always complained about it being so schmoopy and unrealistic, so the fact that he suggested it made Ian feel warm inside.

“That’d be…that’d be great, Adam. Are you sure, though? I know you’re not really a fan of it.”

Adam smiled at Ian as he navigated to the movie, “No, I’m fine with it. It’s okay for a piece of fluff, but that’s what we’re doing this for, right? Nothing too serious?”

Ian smiled in response, “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

Ian settled in as the movie started, and he was pleasantly surprised when Adam fitted himself against his side. He was rarely physically affectionate with Ian outside of sex, so this small gesture was nice. Ian relaxed as the beginning credits started.

The next thing he knew, he was being awoken in the middle of the night by someone crashing around their bedroom. He was immediately alert and reached over to wake Adam up to what was going on.

Adam wasn’t there, so Ian turned on his bedside table lamp and saw that it was Adam who was knocking into things in their room.

“Adam?” Ian asked, still trying to wake up from being dead asleep, “What…what’re you…”

“Oh, shit,” Adam said, then giggled, “I didn’t mean…oops…I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, E.”

He was slurring his words, and Ian was still trying to piece together what was going on.

“Adam, are you…drunk…?”

Another giggle, then, “Maybe jussa little…you juss wenta sleep so early, so I went to meet Dan and Jonathan for drinks, then one thing led to another, and,” he spread his arms wide open, “ta-dah…here I am!!”

“Fuck…what time is it?” Ian grumbled.

“Mmmm, right now, iss time for me ta go shower…fuck! Don’t s’pose you wanna join me, do ya?”

“Mmph,” Ian grunted in response, “I need to get back to sleep, Adam.”

He reached over to turn off his light and go back to sleep.

“Hmmph,” came Adam’s response, “this’s why I hafta go out with other people, E…hafta get my needs met, too…”

Ian barely processed Adam’s words as he tried to get back to sleep, but trust Adam to make as much noise as possible as he got in the shower, then took the longest shower possible, complete with loud moaning sounds. When he did come back out, he banged around the room some more, making it impossible for Ian to go back to sleep. When he finally laid down in bed next to him and turned on his sound machine, Ian glanced at his phone and saw that it was 5 AM.

He groaned internally to himself and closed his eyes as he tried to get back to sleep. An hour later, he was still no closer, so he decided to do something he hadn’t done for the better part of a month. He changed into his workout clothes and went for a run.

As his feet touched the sidewalk outside of their (Adam’s, Ian reminded himself) house, Ian stretched a little, then he started jogging. His jogging soon became a full run, and he was surprised at his speed after going for so long without doing this. He ran and ran and ran. Time meant nothing, and it felt like his feet barely touched the ground below him.

When he made it back to the house, he was dripping with sweat, and he took a moment to wipe his face so he wouldn’t risk getting sweat on anything in the house.

As he entered the bedroom to head to take a shower, Adam cracked one eye open. Ian froze, nervous that he was about to get mad at him for disrupting his sleep since it was only 7 AM, and he’d only just gone to bed a few hours earlier.

The opposite happened, and Adam opened both eyes and raked them over Ian’s form, “Mmmm…I could get used to waking up to this every morning. You always look so hot after you exercise. You should definitely do it more. You headed to the shower?”

Ian would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the blatant lust and appreciation in Adam’s gaze.

He smirked in response and said, “Yeah, gotta go wash all the sweat off.”

Adam sat up and swung his feet to the side of the bed. He stood up and walked over to Ian, planting his hands on his hips as he leaned in for a kiss, “You’ll need someone to wash your back. C’mon, lover, I’ll get you clean, and you can get me dirty.”

The endorphins from exercise were flowing through Ian. He felt himself getting hard, and he nodded, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Chapter Text

After the shower, as Ian was getting dressed, he noticed the slight discoloration on his cheek from where Adam had slapped him the hardest the previous night. If you weren’t looking for it, though, it wasn’t that noticeable, so he hoped no one at the shelter would notice and headed into work without a 2^nd thought.

Unfortunately for him, though, Mickey knew exactly what to look for, and the look on his face when he walked into the office told Ian he had noticed.

They all went through their daily routine, but Ash and Geneva went out for lunch that day, and as soon as they were gone, Mickey looked over at Ian and casually said, “So, uh, what happened to your face there?”

It was quick, but Mickey caught the panic on Ian’s face before he masked it. He reached up and touched the spot on his cheek and brushed off Mickey’s question, “Oh, it’s nothing, just the aftermath of stumbling through the house half-asleep and knocking into things.”

Mickey knew better, but he also realized that he’d known Ian for less than a week and he didn’t feel like he had the right to call him out on such a blatant lie that soon.

Instead, he just nodded and said quietly, “Yeah, I hate when inanimate objects get me on the face like that.”

Ian’s face blushed pink, and his eyes blazed as he pushed back from his desk, “’m going to grab lunch.”

Mickey didn’t have time to say or ask anything else as Ian stalked out of the office. He sighed to himself. Maybe he didn’t have the right to say anything, but he also wasn’t going to ignore Ian’s injuries, either. He just hoped that what he said hadn’t ruined a future friendship with him. He sat and ate his sandwich and looked through the files of some of the kids in Geneva’s group while he took his lunch since he was with her that afternoon for small group time.

Geneva’s group had warmed up to Mickey a lot quicker than Ash’s group had, and he found himself the focus of several of their questions after they’d all checked in. He found the different ways Ian, Ash, and Geneva all checked in with their groups interesting. Ian employed the “one up, one down” method. Ash asked what the “weather report” was for the kids in their group. Geneva took a completely different approach by asking the kids to choose one song that reflected their mood for the day. Mickey found that to be the most interesting as it also gave the group an opportunity to connect with each other on favorite songs and musical artists.

That was the discussion, and those were the questions he found himself surrounded by that afternoon. He didn’t even realize that the group had bled over into homework time until the kids started to disperse. Since Mickey had been helping D’mitri with his homework, he went in search of him to see if he needed help that day, too.

When he entered the rec room, he found D’mitri sitting on one of the couches with his arms crossed, and he walked over to him.

“Hey, man, what’s up? Came to see if you needed any homework help this afternoon. Is Algebra still threatening to kick your ass?”

D’mitri sent him a glare, which surprised Mickey, then he said, “I’m sure you have other more important stuff to do besides help me.”

Mickey sat down next to him on the couch, “Whoa, what’s going on, D’mitri?”

The sullen teen shrugged, “Aren’t you supposed to be with her group?” he nodded over in Geneva’s direction.

Mickey stayed where he was, “They have me sitting in on the different small groups, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not available to help you. So, c’mon, grab your stuff and let’s go kick some Algebra ass.”

D’mitri rolled his eyes, but he got up and grabbed his backpack and walked back to the study rooms without another glance at Mickey.

Mickey went through his homework with him, but D’mitri was a lot more reserved than he had been the past 2 days. Finally, Mickey couldn’t stand it anymore and said, “Yo, what’s going on, D’mitri? Did something happen at school today?”

D’mitri shook his head and looked down.

“Okay, so why’re you giving me the silent treatment? ‘s this like a teenage attitude thing?”

D’mitri shrugged, “Thought you forgot.”

Mickey was still confused, “Forgot about what?”

D’mitri shrugged again, and all of a sudden, it dawned on him, “You thought I forgot about you.”

D’mitri kept his eyes down, but Mickey saw a slight nod.

“Naw, man, I just got caught up talking music with the kids in Geneva’s group. I didn’t forget about you, though, D’mitri. I’m enjoying helping you.”

A small smile appeared on D’mitri’s face, “Yeah?”

Mickey smiled at him reassuringly, “Yeah. So, we good now? Gonna stop giving me whatever kinda attitude this is?"

D’mitri’s smile grew into a smirk and he said, “Prob’ly not.”

Mickey chuckled as he nodded, “Fair. Any other homework you need help on?”

D’mitri shrugged, “Depends. Can you tell me why I should give a fuck about history?”

Mickey smiled at him, “Sure. You should care about it because if you don’t, you’ll always be in danger of repeating it.”

The rest of the day passed by like the previous 2 had with everyone helping out the older kids with dinner in the kitchen and Mickey and Ian on dish duty afterwards.

“So, are we just the lucky ones to be doing this 2 nights in a row, or does anyone else do the dishes?” Mickey joked with Ian.

Ian chuckled, “We rotate. You might be on for a few weeks because you’re the newbie, and that’s just the way it is,” he teased, “but yeah, I’ll show you the schedule of kitchen duty and who does what when. I can’t believe I forgot that part. Sorry about that.”

Mickey smiled, “It’s no big, man. I’m fine helping out with dishes. Company’s not so bad, either.”

Ian’s cheeks turned a little pink, and he focused hard on cleaning a spot on one of the plates that looked like it was already clean.

Just like the previous 2 nights, Geneva’s voice traveled down the hall, “Ian!”

Ian didn’t even have to hear the rest to know that Adam was there to pick him up, and here he was blushing over a compliment from Mickey, who he was not supposed to be talking to. Even though it was only 6:50, Ian looked at Mickey, panicked, as he blurted out, “Sorry, I gotta go,” and he hightailed it out of the kitchen.

Mickey had no idea what had just happened, but the pieces of what he knew about Ian’s relationship with Adam were starting to come together in a really ugly picture. Mickey hoped it was all a coincidence, but after years of growing up with abuse and watching Mandy go through it and hearing all the excuses she gave for the marks on her wrists and her face, he could feel deep down that it wasn’t.

Later that evening, Mickey walked into his and Mandy’s apartment deep in thought. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice Mandy sitting on the couch until she said, “Whoa, penny for your thoughts?”

Mickey startled a little, then he sat down at the other end of the couch, “Mands,” he hesitated, “can I ask you a question? It’s pretty personal.”

Mandy looked confused but tried to lighten what was obviously about to be a serious conversation by saying, “Mick, I literally told you the other night to be quiet while you masturbated to whatever you were fantasizing about where Ian was concerned. I don’t think you have to give me a warning before you ask me something personal.”

Mickey took a deep breath and said, “Why do people stay in abusive relationships?”

He heard Mandy’s sharp intake of breath, and he said, “If it’s too much, I understand, but like, why did you?”

Mandy let out a shaky sigh, “No, it’s okay. I can talk about it now. For me, it was…Mick, you know how it was growing up in the Milkovich House of Horrors. The only purpose I served was making food and…occasionally being mistaken for Mom…at school, boys only liked me for my looks and because I gave them whatever they wanted. So, after we turned 18, when guys started coming around who were big and strong and had money, it was the opposite of what we grew up with, you know? They started off so sweet and nice and wanted to pay for everything, wanted to take care of me. At first, when they got jealous, it made me feel good, like they wanted me that much, like I was that important to them. When the…abuse…started, it was gradual. It didn’t happen all at once. Like, with J-John,” Mickey knew this was the hardest one for her to talk about because he had been the last one, the one who had threatened to kill her when she was on the phone with Mickey, the one who Mickey had accidentally killed.

Mandy took a deep breath and continued, “He would always come into the restaurant where I was working every afternoon at 3:00. He said it was because he knew it wouldn’t be too busy, and he always asked to sit in my section and left a really generous tip…for coffee, Mick. That was the only thing he ordered when he came in. And he was so nice to me at first. It wasn’t until I moved in with him that he came home from work one day in a really bad mood and started snapping at me for no reason. I confronted him and asked him what the hell his problem was, and that was the first time he slapped me. But I’d made him mad, you know? I know what it’s like to react physically when someone pisses you off. When he calmed down, he apologized, told me how sorry he was that his anger had gotten out of control, that he would never do it again, all that shit. And he didn’t, until a couple of months later. And a couple of months after that. But he was always so sincere when he apologized. He promised he wouldn’t do it again, and he wouldn’t…until a month or 2 later. And he took care of everything. When he h-hit me, he’d also get mean. Tell me that I was lucky to have someone like him, that he had saved me from being a South Side whore, and that I’d never find anyone else to take care of me like he did. After a while,” Mandy shrugged, “I started to believe it.”

Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and Mickey slid over next to her on the couch and put his arm around her, “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to get you outta there, Mands. I should have.”

Mandy laid her head on Mickey’s shoulder and shook her head, “You didn’t even know what was going on until it was to the point where I didn’t feel like I could leave, Mick. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

Mickey sighed, “I’ll never be sorry for what happened, Mandy, for what I did. I woulda happily done longer in prison in exchange for that son of a bitch being dead.”

He felt Mandy nod against his shoulder as she whispered, “I know, Mick.”

He tightened his hold around her shoulders just briefly, and she sniffled as she blinked her tears back. She raised her head to look at him, “So, why the question, Mick?”

Mickey removed his arm from her shoulders and let out a heavy sigh, “I think…I think Ian’s boyfriend might be abusive.”

Mandy’s eyes widened, “Why would you say that?”

Mickey shrugged, “Right now, it’s more of a feeling than anything else. Like, his boyfriend’s a complete douchebag, there’s no denying that. But he always shows up early to pick Ian up from his shifts, even though he knows what time he gets off. He makes these snide little comments towards Ian and about the kids at the shelter. Yesterday, Ian was exhausted because he had barely slept the night before. Today, there was what looked like a little bit of a bruise right here,” he gestured to his upper cheek, “and he said it was because he had banged into something because of how tired he was. This evening, when Geneva called down the hallway to tell Ian that his boyfriend was there, he couldn’t leave the kitchen fast enough, like he was afraid of being seen with me or something.”

Mandy had a thoughtful look on her face as she processed what Mickey had just told her, “I dunno, Mick. His boyfriend definitely sounds like an asshole but not necessarily abusive. Just keep an eye out for now, see if anything else comes up.”

Mickey nodded, and in an effort to try and lighten the mood, Mandy playfully pushed him, “Now go back to your end of the couch. I need some room to stretch out my legs, and you smell like the L.”

Mickey cracked a smile and couldn’t resist scooting in close one final time to rub his clothes and head against Mandy before moving back to the other end of the couch.

“Gross!” Mandy said, laughing, “Just for that, you’re watching this reality dating show with me.”

Mickey rolled his eyes but stayed put, knowing his mind would be focused on Ian instead of the show anyway, and shrugged, “Jesus…fine, whatever.”

Mandy became engrossed in the show, and just as he knew they would, Mickey’s thoughts stayed on Ian.

The remaining two days in the work week passed much like the first three for Mickey. He rotated back to Ian’s group the next to last day of the week and to Ash’s group the final day of the week. He would be with Geneva once more that following Monday, then he’d start moving towards being assigned a small group of his own to run. He was nervous, but he was also ready to jump in and start finding his own rhythm at Hopeful Place.

The final two days also ended the way the third one had. During those days, Ian joked around with Mickey, and they talked some about growing up on the South Side. Ian told him about having to dig up the meth from Monica’s grave, and Mickey told him about helping Mandy clean hair and blood off the car when she’d accidentally hit one of Lip’s ex-girlfriends one evening on her way home. They shared stories that only people who were born and raised South Side could understand and appreciate.

Over the next week, Mickey could’ve sworn that he caught Ian looking at him more than once when Mickey sat down with one of the kids to talk with them or help them out with something. When he looked up, though, Ian’s eyes had always already moved on to something else.

Mickey marveled at how easy it was to talk with Ian and joke around with him. He had never felt at ease this quickly with anyone before. There had been people he had connected with and could talk to in the past, but it had taken a while with every single one to even come close to the level of camaraderie he already felt with Ian.

It was quickly becoming the two of them who were mostly involved in making dinner in the evenings and on dish duty afterwards. Mary had teasingly referred to them as the “Dynamic Duo of the kitchen,” once, and the nickname had stuck. Every evening, though, Mickey noticed that when Geneva called down the hallway, Ian was always quick to say a hurried good-bye to Mickey before practically running to the office to gather his things.

It was the last day of Mickey’s 2^nd week at Hopeful Place when Ian walked in looking like death warmed over. The day he had showed up to work exhausted with little sleep paled in comparison to how he looked when he walked in.

He stumbled over to his desk and plopped down in his chair and immediately slumped over the desk, putting his head down.

Geneva, Ash, and Mickey all looked at each other, and Geneva spoke up softly, “Ian?”

“Unghhhhh,” a groan came as a response from Ian’s desk.

“Are you okay?”

Ian managed to lift his head, and he looked anything but okay, but he nodded, “Killer migraine. Feel like shit, but I took some medicine right before leaving to come here, so I just need some time for it to kick in.”

“Are you sure you’re okay to stay?”

“’m fine,” Ian replied, “I just…I think ‘m gonna go lie down in one of the quiet rooms for a little bit, let it take effect.”

They all smiled gently at him, and Ash said, “We’ll cover for you with Mary. Go find a dark, quiet space for a while, Ian.”

Ian nodded and gave them a wan smile as it looked like it took all the effort he had to stand up from his desk and head down the hallway.

“Jesus,” Mickey said, “why doesn’t he just call out or go home?”

Geneva and Ash looked at each other, and Geneva shrugged, “He takes this job really seriously, Mickey. Nothing short of having really low days or being on his death bed would keep him from being here.”

“Still, though, he looks like he feels awful.”

Ash responded, “Oh, I’m sure he does. But he’ll stick it out, and we’ll help him make it through the day as long as he can. Might need you to cover his small group this afternoon, though, Mickey.”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I can definitely do that.”

Mary came in for the morning report, and when she asked about Ian, Geneva told her that he’d had really strong coffee and was in the bathroom. Mary had accepted her explanation and continued down the hallway to her office.

An hour or so later, Ian walked back in and looked a little better. He still looked like he felt awful but had reached a point of looking more functional than he had been when he initially came in. For most of the early afternoon, he looked like he was going through the motions but wasn’t really otherwise thinking about his work.

The volume of the arrival of the kids had obviously brought his migraine back in full force, and after the snacks had been served, Mickey pulled Ian aside, “Hey, man, why don’t you go back and lay down? I can cover your group this afternoon. If anyone asks, I’ll just tell them you’re letting me try it out flying solo.”

Instead of agreeing and thanking Mickey for the offer, the look on Ian’s face was angry as he gritted out, “I can do my fucking job just fine, thanks,” and tried to push past Mickey.

Mickey didn’t let him storm out like he was trying to, though. Instead he tried to calm Ian’s anger, “No one’s saying you can’t do your job, Gallagher, but you obviously feel like shit.”

Ian tried again, “I’m fine, Mickey. Now, let me go.”

Mickey sighed and let him pass that time, and he sat back and observed Ian struggle to get through his small group. It didn’t last long as it seemed the kids had picked up on Ian’s mood and struggle and had stayed mostly withdrawn during their check-ins.

As he’d been doing after small groups since his first day, Mickey met with D’mitri, who had started bringing more subjects to him other than just math. Mickey had never been strong in schoolwork, even before he dropped out, but he found that working along with D’mitri to figure things out felt good, and D’mitri seemed to enjoy bringing a challenge for Mickey to figure out during homework time.

They finished, and it was time to head to the kitchen to make dinner. Ian was in there already, and it was even more obvious that the lights combined with the people and the food smells were making him feel worse.

Mickey knew how he had responded earlier when he’d tried to help Ian out by covering his small group, but he couldn’t just let him stay in there when it looked like he was about to vomit. He walked over to Ash and Geneva and quietly told them that he was going to try to coax Ian into leaving the dinner prep to them and the kids. All it took was one look at Ian for both of them to readily agree.

Mickey walked over to Ian and gently touched his arm. Ian whirled around, which looked like it had been a really bad idea, and Mickey quietly said, “Hey, come with me for a minute.”

Ian was in no frame of mind to do anything but nod, and Mickey guided him back to the quiet rooms. He got Ian to sit down, and he went and got some wet paper towels to put over his eyes. He found some ibuprofen in Ian’s desk, and even though it wasn’t migraine medication, he thought it might ease his headache, even if it was only slightly.

He brought that and a bottle of water back to Ian. He helped him sit up to take the ibuprofen and adjusted the wet paper towels as a cool compress on his forehead and eyes.

Ian was still stubborn, though, “Mickey, I gotta…I gotta go help.”

Mickey shushed him, “No, you don’t. Ash and Geneva have it. All you gotta do right now is stay still and stop being such a stubborn ass for a minute.”

Ian pouted and muttered to himself, “You’re a stubborn ass.”

He couldn’t see Mickey, but Mickey couldn’t help but bite back a smile at Ian’s retort.

He sat there with him in silence for a few minutes, but then he had to ask.

“Gallagher, you’ve obviously felt like shit since before you got here this morning. So, if you feel that bad, why not call out? Ash, Geneva, and I coulda handled everything today, and I’m sure Mary would understand.”

Ian repeated his words from earlier, “I said, I can do my fucking job, Mickey. I’m fine.”

“No one’s saying you can’t do your job, Ian, but you’re so obviously not fine right now.”

At that, Ian ripped the wet paper towels off his head as he angrily glared at Mickey, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can’t do or how I’m feeling, huh? You’ve known me for all of 2 weeks, which is, oh yeah, the same amount of time you’ve been here. I’ve been here for 2 years, okay, Milkovich? I know what I’m fucking doing.”

Mickey was completely taken aback and had no response to Ian’s angry outburst. It was about that time that Ian bolted from the room and apparently made it to the bathroom just in time as Mickey heard the retching sounds from the hallway.

He stood outside the bathroom, wanting to check on Ian and see if he was okay. Ian came out a few minutes later, looking a little less green than he had prior to running in there.

He came out, and Mickey turned to face him, “Hey, how’re you feeling?”

Ian might not still be nauseous, but he was apparently still angry as he glared at Mickey, “Told you I was fucking fine, didn’t I?”

Mickey held his hands up, “I’m just trying to help, Ian.”

“Yeah, well don’t. I’m gonna get my stuff.”

He stormed passed Mickey toward their office and grabbed his stuff. He brushed passed him again on his way to Mary’s office. Mickey could overhear Ian telling Mary he had just thrown up, and Mary quickly excused him to leave and go home.

As Ian exited her office, Mickey was once again right there, “Hey, man, I’m sorry if something I said pissed you off. I didn’t mean any harm by…”

But Ian cut him off, “Look, you got what you wanted, alright? ‘m leaving early. See you on Monday.”

Ian headed out a side door, presumably to avoid everyone, and it left Mickey completely dumbfounded. Part of him was pissed off at Ian’s responses, but he also understood that Ian had felt awful and probably didn’t mean any of the things he’d said. He decided he’d give him the weekend to cool down and try to talk to him again on Monday.

That plan went out the window Saturday night after Mickey replayed everything both of them had said on Friday. He didn’t want Ian to be mad at him, and he hated the idea that he might be over what was nothing more than a misunderstanding.

Everyone who worked at Hopeful Place had each other’s phone number in case they ever needed to contact each other outside of work hours, so Mickey took a deep breath and pulled up Ian’s number on his phone.

He wrote and rewrote what he wanted to say multiple times but finally landed on,

Hey, Ian, this is Mickey. Sorry for bothering you over the weekend, but I just wanted to apologize for whatever I said yesterday that made you so mad. I knew you felt bad because of your migraine, and I really just wanted to help out. I didn’t mean for what I said to make you feel like I was saying you couldn’t do your job. You’re seriously amazing at what you do. Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better by now, and I hope that we’re okay. If you want, text me back. I’ll see you Monday.

By Sunday night, he still hadn’t gotten a response, and he had trouble getting to sleep that night, his stomach filled with anxiety for what the next morning would bring.

Chapter Text

Mickey warily entered Hopeful Place on Monday morning. After not getting a response back from Ian after he texted him over the weekend, he wasn’t sure what to expect. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever the day was going to bring.

He was the first one in the office, but Geneva and Ash weren’t far behind. They all started talking, and Mickey didn’t realize that it was almost 11 with no Ian to be seen until Mary came in their office.

“Gallagher’s going to be off for the next few days. Milkovich, feel like you can help with snacks and cover his small group while he’s out?”

Mickey was surprised, to say the least. Surprised and worried. If a killer migraine hadn’t been enough to keep Ian from work the past Friday, what could’ve possibly happened over the weekend for him to be out for a few days?

He was a little dazed until he realized that Mary was waiting for an answer from him.

“Uh, yeah, I can definitely do that. No problem.”

They all looked around at each other, and Geneva was the one who finally asked, “Is Ian…okay…?”

Mary sighed, “I hope so. Was his brother who called in for him, said he was sick and would need to be out through Wednesday. You all have his number, so you could try checking on him. If it’s serious enough for him to not be here, though, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear back from him.”

Mary got a brief rundown from each one of them on small groups and the plan for their days.

After she left the office, the air in the room grew tense with unspoken words.

Finally, Mickey couldn’t take it anymore.

“What? What is it? Both of you look like you’re about to burst from whatever thoughts you’re having.”

Geneva and Ash looked at each other, and Ash said, “We’ve both been here for just a few months less than Ian has been. During that time, he’s been out three times. Once was when he had a low period, which can happen sometimes with bipolar disorder, even for people who take their medication the way they should. Once was when he had a med adjustment. And once…once was after someone beat him up.”

Mickey brain caught on to what Ash wasn’t saying, “You mean…?”

Ash sighed, “He never confirmed nor denied that it was Adam. Just said he needed to keep his thoughts to himself when he knew they would make someone mad. We both kind of assumed it was, though.”

Mickey looked stricken, “Do you think…this…?”

Geneva shrugged, “I dunno, Mickey. He felt really awful on Friday, and sometimes, sickness can bring on a low period, so it’s possible that it’s that. I’ll probably try to text him later and see how he is…unless one of you wants to.”

Her eyes fell to Mickey, and he immediately shook his head, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to text him. He was pretty mad at me when he left on Friday.”

Geneva and Ash exchanged a look, and Ash said, “I’m pretty sure he was mad at the fact that you were right and not at you personally.”

“Well, it came out like it was at me personally,” Mickey gruffed out.

Ash and Geneva exchanged small smiles, and Ash said, “G, out of all of us, you’re probably the closest person to him. Why don’t you text him later and see how he’s doing, tell him we all hope he feels better, you know, all that sappy shit.”

Geneva nodded, “Will do. Right now, let’s take a look at what’s on his agenda for the next few days. We can split up his work so it all gets done.”

Geneva walked over to Ian’s desk and pulled his monthly calendar out of the top drawer. She, Ash, and Mickey all hovered around it and started to split up Ian’s tasks. They figured that making sure things were taken care was the least they could do until they had more information about their absent friend.

Meanwhile…

“Ian, why do you let him do this?” Lip held an ice pack to the side of Ian’s face, which was bruised and swollen.

“I had a migraine on Friday, Lip. You know how long it takes me to feel right again after that. I was almost asleep on Saturday night when Adam came in guns, or in this case fists, a’blazing. I didn’t know what’d hit me until after he left, and I called you.”

Lip looked at the number Adam had done to Ian’s face. He was sporting 2 black eyes, and the side of his face was swollen. He also had bruises on his arms. Lip had done what he could to tend to Ian’s wounds, but Ian refused to go to a hospital, and there was only so much ghetto first aid knowledge and supplies could do.

“So, what happened exactly?” Lip asked, “He just came in the bedroom and started wailing on you?”

“Pretty much,” Ian shrugged, “he came in yelling about how he told me to stay away from the thug at work, and that he was going to teach me what happened when I didn’t listen to him. I didn’t realize what had probably happened until last night.”

“And that was?”

Ian sighed, “So, I told you I had a migraine on Friday, and okay, I probably should’ve called out of work, but I feel like it’s the one thing I can do right, you know? Broken brain? Check. Psychiatric history? Check. But my job at the shelter is the one place in my life where those are strengths instead of weaknesses. The idea of staying home…made me feel weak.”

“Okay, so how did that lead to Adam beating the shit out of you?”

“There’s a guy,” Ian began.

“Oh?” Lip perked up, “Do tell.”

“He’s…he just started a couple of weeks ago, and he’s…amazing. Like, as a person, as a counselor, everything.”

“So, you fucked him? Is that what led to this?”

Ian sighed in exasperation, “Fuck…no, Lip! I haven’t done anything with him. We joke around and shit at work, but there hasn’t been anything even close to cheating going on. There was one night when Adam offered to give Mickey a ride home. I was exhausted as shit, but when we dropped him off, I told him the mashed potatoes he’d made for dinner were really good and that he was doing a good job at the shelter. Adam hit the gas, then slapped me when I told him he was ridiculous for thinking that meant something was going on.”

“Ian!” Lip said loudly.

“Fuck!” Ian grimaced, “Can you be mad a little quieter, please? I still hurt, Lip.”

“Sorry,” Lip lowered his volume, “But, Ian, seriously…why do you stay with him when he does this shit?”

Ian shrugged helplessly, “It’s not always like this, Lip. Things have been okay since the other time this happened.”

“Okay,” Lip sighed heavily, “so, get to the part where Adam started yelling and hitting you.”

“Well, I went to work on Friday when I felt like shit. Mickey tried to get me to go home, told me he could cover my group, got me to leave the kitchen during dinner prep, and fuck, I know he was just being nice, and he was concerned about me, but at the time, it felt like he was trying to tell me I couldn’t do my job, the one thing I know I can do well.”

Lip nodded and smirked at him, “You were an asshole to him, weren’t you?”

Ian looked at him sheepishly, “Maybe.”

Lip raised an eyebrow at him, and Ian tried to roll his eyes but grimaced at the pain, “Okay, definitely. But I was really upset at the time. Before I went to bed last night, I looked at my phone, and Mickey sent me a text Saturday night apologizing for whatever he had said that made me mad. The only thing I can figure out is that Adam saw the text, and that led to,” he gestured with his hand from face to arms, “all this.”

Lip nodded, “Have you texted Mickey back? And, hold on, is this Mickey Milkovich we’re talking about?”

Ian tried to smile, but it hurt too much, as he nodded, “Yep, he’s the newest peer support counselor at Hopeful Place.”

“Huh,” Lip responded, “Who woulda thought? Anyway, have you texted him back?”

“Pssshh, no…what would I say? ‘I was the asshole on Friday, not you. Also, my boyfriend thinks we’re having an affair and beat me up to the point that I can’t come into work until Thursday at the earliest’?”

“Well,” Lip said thoughtfully, “maybe not the 2^nd part, but yeah, I think the first part is a good place to start.”

Ian shrugged, and the brothers fell into silence.

“So, do you?”

Ian looked at him confused, “Do I what?”

“Do you want to fuck Mickey?”

Ian sighed heavily, “I…how can I possibly think about that when I work with the guy? And I’ve got Adam.”

“And,” Lip interjected, “Adam’s an abusive asshole, and you need to leave his ass, like, 6 months ago, Ian.”

“Lip…,” Ian looked at him as pleadingly as he could.

“You don’t have to stay with him, Ian.”

Ian looked at him, “Where would I go, Lip?”

Lip looked around his studio apartment, “You could stay here.”

“This place is barely big enough for you, much less for me to stay here for any length of time.”

“Don’t you have some money saved up? You could get your own place.”

“I don’t make enough per month to be able to keep up with rent and utilities and pay for my meds.”

Lip sighed heavily, “Staying with someone because you can’t afford your own place and because they’re paying for your meds are kinda shitty reasons to stay with them.”

“Are they?” Ian asked, “I feel like we’ve all stayed in relationships for reasons a lot shittier than that.”

“Trevor?” Lip gave him a pointed look.

“I stayed with him because he was a good person, and we had fun together.”

Lip looked at him in disbelief, “Trevor was a condescending, self-righteous asshole, Ian. You only thought he was a good person because he helped runaway kids and was trans and emphasized all that political correctness shit.”

Ian tried to glare at Lip, “There’s nothing wrong with being politically correct, Lip. Calling someone by their name or identified pronoun never hurt anyone. Also…Also…I wouldn’t have known about the whole peer support counselor thing if it weren’t for him, so…”

Lip rolled his eyes, “Okay, so the guy brought about one good thing to your life.”

“That’s not the point, Lip. The point is that we’ve all stayed in relationships for shitty reasons, so you don’t get to judge me for staying with Adam.”

“You…you’re joking, right? Ian, you can’t stay with him after he did this to you!”

“Lip,” Ian sighed, “I don’t have to worry about food or clothes or a place to sleep or being able to afford my medications. It’s…I just have to keep my distance from Mickey, you know? I’ll tell him not to text me, and I-I’ll stay away from him when Adam comes to pick me up in the evening. It can work!”

Lip sighed and decided to drop the subject for now, “Okay, E, you do what you think is best. Before you start pretending Mickey doesn’t exist, why don’t you tell me about him? What’s he like now?”

Even though Ian’s eyes were both black and bruised and swollen, Lip noticed the spark in them as he told Lip about how great Mickey was with the kids, how funny he was, how easy it was to talk to him, how much he cared about the work they did. Ian had just finished telling a story about him, and Lip smiled gently.

“E, why don’t you date Mickey?”

Ian looked at Lip like he was crazy, “The fuck’re you talking about, Lip? He doesn’t…we’re not…we work together, ok? We’re work friends. That’s all it is.”

“Ian,” Lip paused, “you just spent the last 15 minutes singing Mickey’s praises and telling me how wonderful he is. So, I ask again, why don’t you date him?”

Ian sighed and smiled sadly, “He doesn’t want me, Lip. I mean, why would he, right? I’m just a pathetic, bipolar middle child who has to call his big brother to come save him from his scary boyfriend. No one wants that.”

“Ian, you can’t honestly tell me that’s what you think.”

Ian shrugged, “True, isn’t it?”

Lip looked Ian directly in the eye and made sure Ian was looking at him when he shook his head and said, “No, Ian, it isn’t.”

Ian smiled sadly, “Where’s the lie then, Lip? What part of what I just said isn’t true?”

It was about that time that Ian’s phone buzzed, and he reached for it. He started typing something to whoever it was, and the moment had passed. Lip went to put the cold packs back in the freezer and let them freeze again so they could get the swelling to go down on Ian’s face.

“Okay,” Geneva read from her phone screen, “Ian says he tripped going down the steps at their house, and his migraine came back this morning, so that’s why he’s out, but otherwise, he’s okay.”

Mickey was even more concerned, “Fell down the stairs? Well, is he okay? Is he hurt?”

Geneva held up a hand, “Hold on, Mickey.”

She typed a response and waited to hear back from Ian. Thankfully, Mickey didn’t have to wait too long as he heard her phone buzz.

“He says he landed on his face, so he has two black eyes, his face is swollen, and his arms are pretty banged up.”

“Jesus…,” Mickey replied, “Does he need anything?”

Geneva couldn’t help but smile to herself at Mickey’s concern over Ian’s well-being, even if she outwardly found it a little overbearing.

“I’m sure he’s fine, Mickey. He’s at his brother’s apartment. Why don’t you text him and ask him?”

Mickey glanced down at his phone and took a deep breath. He still hadn’t gotten a response, and the realization that Ian was texting Geneva with zero difficulty made the lack of response to Mickey’s text sting even more.

Mickey shook his head, “I’ll, uh, I’ll see about it later. I’ve gotta go get the snacks ready now. Three o’clock will be here before you know it.”

Geneva looked at her phone and saw that it was only 2:15, but she decided not to call Mickey out for his blatant avoidance tactics.

Instead, she just said, “Let me know if you need any help.”

Mickey gave her a thumbs up as he left the office and headed to the kitchen. Of course, it only took a few minutes to put together the snacks, and then all he had to do for the remainder of the time until the kids got back from school was to sit and wait.

He took out his phone and tried scrolling through social media to pass the time, but he kept going back to his text messages and re-reading the one he had sent Ian. It was harmless enough, right? There wasn’t anything inappropriate in what he had said, was there?

Mickey let out a sigh of frustration. He hated feeling like this. He had worked really hard to gain self-confidence after escaping the Milkovich House of Horrors, so being so unsure of his decisions over something as simple as a text brought back those feelings of insecurity he’d had when he was younger.

Luckily, Ash’s voice broke into his thoughts, “Everything okay in here?”

Mickey turned around and tried to force a smile, “Yeah, got the snacks all ready to go.”

Ash nodded, then smiled at him knowingly, “You’re worried about our boy, aren’t you?”

Mickey looked at them sheepishly, “Is it that obvious?”

Ash snorted a laugh, “Only to a person with a seeing eye dog.”

They laughed at their own joke, then said, “Seriously, Mickey, if he’s texting with Geneva, that means he’s at least functional, right? And if you’re so worried about him, why don’t you just text him yourself?”

Mickey sighed and wiped a hand over his face, “I did. I texted him Saturday night after he was so angry on Friday. Told him I was sorry if I’d said anything that made him mad, and that I hadn’t meant to suggest that he couldn’t do his job. Told him he did an amazing job with the kids here.”

Ash’s eyes softened, “Aww, that sounds like a really nice text, Mickey.”

Mickey shrugged and murmured, “Haven’t gotten a response.”

Ash’s eyes widened, “Ohhh…so that’s why you’re a little gun shy about texting him now.”

Mickey nodded, “Can you blame me?”

Ash smiled comfortingly at Mickey, “Honey, there’s something you have to understand about one Mr. Ian Gallagher. For all of his wonderful qualities, and he does have a lot of them, one of his toxic traits is his pride. He tries so hard and puts forth so much effort into what he does here that it can be hard for him when he makes a mistake. He eventually comes around and apologizes, but it can take a while. So, it’s entirely possible that he hasn’t responded because he knows you were right on Friday when you told him he needed to go home, and he feels bad because he was an asshole in response to you.”

Mickey pondered their words for a few moments before they continued, “Between you and me, I think his beau plays a part in why he takes it so hard when he makes a mistake. If I were you, though, I might send him another text this evening and see what happens.”

Mickey sighed, “Yeah, that all makes sense,” then he looked at his watch, “guess the kids will be rolling in any minute now.”

Ash turned to leave the room, but Mickey called out to them, “Hey, Ash? Thanks.”

Ash smiled at him and nodded, “Anytime, Mickey,” before heading back to the office.

The kids came through, and Mickey realized why it was a good idea to have more than one person handing out the snacks as he was surrounded by the chaos of hungry kids grappling for a snack. Once everybody had one, they all went out to the rec room, and Mickey took a few minutes to breathe.

Once he felt like he had his wits about him again, he put a few extra snacks in the basket and took it out to the rec room. Geneva and Ash were already out there, so he walked over to them.

“Okay,” Geneva started, “Mickey, are you sure you feel okay leading Ian’s group over the next few days?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’ve watched him enough to know the gist of how it goes. There’s just one thing. What, uh, what should I tell them if they ask where he is?”

Geneva and Ash looked at each other, and Geneva said, “I think you can tell them the basics of what we know. He’s not feeling well, and he hopes to be back later this week.”

Mickey nodded, “Okay, yeah, I can do that.”

Ian was usually the one who called for group time, but Ash stepped up in his place, “Alright, epic humans, small group time. For those of you who are usually in Ian’s small group, you’re going to be with Mickey today.”

Mickey waved them over, “We’ll be over here.”

Everyone broke up into their respective small groups, and Mickey realized just how nervous he was to be doing this by himself. He took a deep breath and tried to remember how Ian did this. First, he started off by…Mickey’s brain shifted into focus, and he started, “Hey, so let’s get started. Before we check in, does anyone have anything they want to share?”

Damian’s hand shot up, and Mickey gestured for him to go.

“Where’s Ian?”

Okay, so Mickey was going to have to deal with this right out of the gate today.

He gave a reassuring smile to the group and said, “Ian’s out sick today, and he might be out for a couple more days. He hopes to be able to make it back at the end of the week, though.”

D’mitri snorted, “That’s stupid. He should just take the whole week off. That’s what I would do if I was sick.”

The group murmured their agreement, and Mickey tried to get the group back on track.

“Okay, so does anyone else have something they want to share before we check in?”

The group had gone relatively smoothly after that with no major crises happening for anyone. At the end of group, Mickey asked once more if anyone had anything they wanted to share with the group. That time, Luke had raised his hand slowly, and when Mickey called on him, he blushed and said quietly, “If you or any of the other counselors talk to Ian, could you…do you think it would be okay if…can you just tell him we miss him and hope he feels better?”

Mickey had smiled gently at him before assuring him that of course someone could do that. Luke’s face had blossomed into a smile as he shyly thanked Mickey.

There were still a few minutes left before homework time, so Mickey asked if anyone had homework or needed help. A couple of the kids said they just had a few questions, so Mickey promised to help them with the questions they had. He dismissed the group a couple of minutes early, and while the kids were going in search of their backpacks and respective homework, he decided to text Ian.

Hey, man, just wanted to check on you and see how you’re doing. Kids also wanted me to tell you they miss you and hope you feel better.

He figured that was simple and short enough to make contact with Ian and hoped he’d hear back from him.

After he pressed send, he got caught up with helping the kids with homework, helping with dinner, and helping with the clean up. The difference between having Ian there alongside him and not didn’t go unnoticed by him, and it only accentuated how much he missed him not being there.

Finally, it was time for the counselors to go home, and Mickey realized that he hadn’t checked his phone since he’d sent the text. To his surprise and delight, there was indeed a response from Ian on his phone.

Thanks, Mickey. I appreciate it. Tell the kids I miss them, too, and thanks for the well wishes.

And a second one:

I hate to text this and leave you hanging, but do you think we could talk when I get back? I just have some things I’d like to say to you instead of texting them.

Mickey immediately texted him back as soon as he’d read the texts.

How’re you feeling? Are you okay?

Ian must’ve had his phone with him because his reply came quickly.

I’m more sore than anything. Migraine’s almost completely gone, but it always takes me at least a day to regroup after I have one. My face is bruised up pretty badly. That’s the main reason I’ll be out for the next couple of days. Didn’t wanna scare the kids, you know?

Do you need anything?

Nah, I’m good. I’m staying with my brother for a few days and letting him take care of me. Thanks for checking, though. That’s really nice of you.

The fact that Ian was staying with family and not with Adam raised a red flag in Mickey’s brain, but he decided not to ask. He sent one more text in response to Ian.

It’s no problem at all. Just worried about you, wanted to make sure you’re okay. And yeah, of course we can talk when you get back. Hope you feel better and that you can get rid of those bruises before you come back.

Thanks, Mickey.

There weren’t any more text exchanges, and Mickey let out a breath. He had texted Ian, and Ian had responded. It was enough for now.

Chapter Text

Lip watched Ian as he texted someone. The bruising had finally started to go down, but even through what was left of the swelling, Lip could see the smile on Ian’s face as he looked at his phone.

“Who’re you texting?”

Ian startled when Lip spoke, “Oh, it’s, uh, it’s Mickey. He was just texting to see how I was doing.”

Lip nodded, and Ian was so engrossed in his phone that he didn’t see Lip sneak up on him with the intention of grabbing his phone to read the text exchange until it was snatched from his hands.

“Lip! Give it back!”

But Lip was across the room in a flash, “Let’s see here,” he read through the texts before turning to look at Ian.

“Ian…my brother…these do not read as someone who’s just a co-worker being concerned about you. These read as someone who genuinely cares about you and is worried about you.”

Ian blushed, though it was hard to differentiate between that and the bruising, “It’s nothing. Really, Lip,” he responded to his brother’s look of disbelief.

Lip handed the phone back to Ian, “I could not believe you less.”

Ian finished texting with Mickey, and he set his phone down and looked at Lip, “Even if…and I do mean if…he was interested, he has no idea what it takes to be in a relationship with me, Lip. The unpredictability, the potential for mood swings, for med adjustments. Yeah, Adam’s not perfect…okay, there are times he kinda sucks as a person in general,” Ian amended his statement when Lip shot him an incredulous look, “but he knows how to deal with this. He knows that I know how to deal with this. He’s used to it, and he’s still here.”

Lip nodded, “Have you heard anything from him?”

Ian sighed, “Not yet, but it’s only been a couple of days, Lip. Whenever he gets really mad, he usually disappears, then resurfaces a few days later. He’ll probably text or call tomorrow or Wednesday.”

Lip sighed, “I really wish you wouldn’t go back to him, Ian. You deserve so much better.”

Ian smiled sadly at him, “Do I? Everyone else left when I had low or high episodes, Lip. No one else was willing to even try to stick it out. At least he does that.”

Lip sighed again and shot Ian a sad smile. He stood up and leaned down to kiss his brother on the top of his head, “It’s getting late, E. I’m gonna get some sleep. Need anything before I hit the sack?”

“Maybe one more cold compress and some ibuprofen.”

Lip nodded, “Coming right up.”

Lip walked back over to the couch with the compress and the bottle of painkillers and handed them both to Ian.

“Get some rest, man. It’ll help you heal faster.”

Ian nodded in acknowledgement but continued looking at his phone. Lip walked over to his bed and turned off the lights, plunging the studio into darkness. Instead of going to sleep right away, Ian opted to scroll through his texts from Mickey, smiling at each one until he finally succumbed to sleep.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Ian’s face was no longer swollen, although his bruises still looked pretty angry with colors of green and blue and purple swirling as his body went through the healing process. He hadn’t yet heard from Adam, which made him wonder if he did need to start exploring other options for a place to live. He knew Lip would let him stay as long as he needed, but he could only stand so many nights on Lip’s couch before he desperately needed to be in a bed, preferably the amazing one he usually slept on.

Lip walked over to stand in front of him and knelt down in front of him, “Swelling’s gone down a lot. Dunno what you’re gonna do about the bruising, though.”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, me neither, and I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Gonna tell the kids you’re Batman?”

“What?” Ian looked at him confused.

“The coloring around your eyes,” Lip pointed at where the bruising was the worst, “Looks like a fucking Batman mask.”

“Man, fuck you,” Ian couldn’t help but chuckle at Lip’s comment and the laughter that ensued.

“No, but seriously, what’re you gonna tell the kids?”

Ian sighed and shrugged, “Fell down the stairs?”

“Ian,” Lip chided him, “a fall down the stairs doesn’t look like that. Something tells me a lot of the kids you work with will know that.”

“Well, what am I supposed to tell them, Lip?”

Lip sighed, “Why don’t you take the rest of the week off, stay here, we can share the bed so you don’t have to sleep on this uncomfortable couch, then you can go back on Monday all refreshed. How does that sound?”

Ian’s shoulders slumped, “I told them I’d be back tomorrow.”

“Yeah, and now, you need to be out for a couple more days. Send Mary a text. I’m sure she’ll be fine with it.”

Ian sighed, and he held his phone in his hand.

Lip shrugged, “It’s either that, or come up with a better explanation for the bruising on your face. ‘Falling down the stairs’ isn’t gonna cut it.”

Ian nodded, and he reluctantly pulled up Mary’s number on his phone and texted her.

The next morning, Mary went to the counselors’ office to tell them that Ian would be out for the rest of the week.

When she told them, she saw the looks they all exchanged, and she couldn’t disagree with their concern. This was incredibly out of character for Gallagher. He wasn’t having a low period. She had checked in about that. There was no way he still had a migraine this many days later. She couldn’t help but think back to the scant three times Ian had called out of work since he had started there. She shrugged to herself and sighed. She hoped he was okay, but she guessed she’d have to wait til the following Monday to see for herself.

After Mary left to go back to her office, Mickey turned to Geneva, “You said he was staying with his brother?”

Geneva nodded, and before Mickey could say anything else, she said, “I don’t know where he lives, though.”

The look in Mickey’s eyes was difficult to decipher, and she continued, “You know, just in case you were thinking about trying to go see him or something.”

Mickey gave her a curt nod, and when Ash and Geneva both continued looking at him, he threw his hands up, “What? Are both of you going to tell me you don’t want to do the same thing right now?”

Ash sighed, “Of course we do! Ian’s my dude, alright, but how’re we gonna find someone if we don’t even know where they are?”

Mickey sighed. He knew Ash was right, but he couldn’t just sit back and do nothing and wait for the following Monday to roll around. Since he was at a loss for the time being, though, he sat at his desk and flipped through Ian’s files to learn more about the kids in his small group.

By the time lunch rolled around, though, Mickey had decided to look up Lip Gallagher on his phone and see what it pulled up. It took some scrolling, but he finally found Lip’s name on a list of mechanics that worked for a shop called Born Free Cycles. He wrote down the number and the address. He thought about calling, but what the fuck would he say? “Hi, I know you from way back in the day, but now I work with your brother, and I’m really worried about him since he's out of work for the entire week. Can you give me your address so I can come see him in person?”

Jesus…Mickey could just imagine what the response would be to that. Lip would probably think he was crazy, and there’s no way he would just tell Mickey his address. Mickey knew from his own lived experience that you could take the person out of the South Side, but taking the South Side out of the person was near impossible. And South Side people would never trust anyone they didn’t know enough to just tell them where they lived.

At least now, he had a number and location of where Lip worked. He just had to figure out what he could do with that to track down where he lived.

Mickey ran on autopilot for most of the day, getting snacks together when it was almost time for the kids to get back from school, doing small group, helping with homework, assisting with dinner, eating with the kids and his fellow support counselors, helping to clean up, and getting on the L to head back home.

The kids hadn’t seemed too bothered by Ian’s continued absence. When Mickey had announced that Ian would be out for the rest of the week, D’mitri had repeated his statement from the previous Monday about how he would’ve done the same thing. The rest of the kids expressed that they missed Ian, but they had been around Mickey enough by that point to feel comfortable having him lead their group.

Mickey walked through the door deep in thought as he still tried to figure out what to do with the information he had found on Lip.

“Mick?”

Mandy’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked up, “Yo, what’s up?”

“You looked like you were deep in thought. What’s going on?”

Mickey sighed, “Ian’s out for the rest of the week, and…I dunno…there’s just something that seems off about the whole thing. This is a guy who never, and I mean never, misses work, Mands. He was supposed to be back today, and we found out this morning that he’s gonna be out for the rest of the week.”

Mandy shrugged, “Maybe he’s not feeling well enough to come back yet.”

Mickey gave her a look of disbelief, “Mandy, the guy had a migraine on Monday. Migraines don’t last an entire week.”

“Why don’t you text him, or I dunno, go see him or something if you’re that worried about him, Mick?”

“He’s staying with his brother, and no one has any idea where his brother lives. All I know is he works for a place called Born Free Cycles, and I remember his name is Lip.”

Mandy shrugged again, “I’m not sure what you could do with that information. ‘s not really a lot to go by.”

Mickey sighed in frustration, “Yeah, I know.”

Mandy looked at her brother with sympathy, “’m sorry, Mick. I know you’re worried about him. I wish I had some helpful suggestions for you.”

Mickey gave her a small smile, “I know, Mandy. I guess there’s nothing that can be done. Thanks for caring, though.”

Mandy returned his smile, then sat on the couch to pull up whatever mindless show she was going to unwind to before going to bed.

Mickey picked up his phone and looked at the screen as if it was going to give him the answers he was looking for. He knew it was in vain, though, and there was nothing he could do to get him any closer to the information he wanted.

The next morning, when he arrived at work, there was a sticky note on his desk with an address on it. Ash and Geneva were both in there, and he looked at both of them confused, trying to figure out who put the note on his desk and what the address meant.

Ash left the office for a minute, and Geneva walked over to Mickey’s desk and leaned down and whispered, “It’s his brother’s address. I told him I might want to bring him some soup or something to help him feel better this weekend. I know you’re worried about him, so do what you will with it.”

That evening when Mickey left the shelter, he knew exactly where he was headed. He hopped on the L and mapped out the route he needed to take. He got off at what he thought was the closest stop to his destination, and he walked until he found the address he was looking for. He pressed the buzzer at the door, and to his surprise, no one even asked who he was before buzzing him in.

He climbed the stairs until he was outside the door he was looking for, and he took a deep breath and knocked.

The buzzer went off in Lip’s apartment, and he looked at Ian, “You expecting anyone?”

Ian thought for a minute, “Oh! That might be Geneva. She said she might stop by and bring some soup.”

Lip raised an eyebrow, “Still operating under the story of being sick?”

Ian shrugged his shoulders as he pressed the buzzer to let whoever it was into the building, “Easier than the alternative.”

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door, and Ian went to open it. When he did, his eyes widened, and his jaw fell open in shock.

“Mickey???”

Mickey held his breath as he waited for the door to open, and when it did, and he heard Ian’s shocked greeting, he blushed and averted his eyes and just said, “Hey.”

“What’re you doing here?”

It was then that Mickey looked up and gasped at the bruises on Ian’s face. Now he understood why the ginger had decided to take off the rest of the week. His eyes sympathetically roamed Ian’s face. If it looked like this now, Mickey could only imagine how much worse it had looked right after it happened.

“I, uh, I got the address from Geneva. Was, you know, worried about you when Mary told us you were gonna be out til Monday.”

Ian was still dumbfounded at the fact that Mickey was standing outside Lip’s apartment door when Lip’s voice sounded behind him.

“Ian? Who is it?”

He walked up behind Ian and saw someone who was definitely not Geneva standing there.

Lip didn’t bat an eye as he said, “Hey, Ian, would you like to invite Mickey in?”

Ian shook himself from his shock and looked sheepishly at Mickey, “Yeah, sorry about that, wanna come in?”

Mickey smiled at Ian’s awkwardness and nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”

Ian stepped aside to let him in, and Mickey walked into Lip’s apartment. It was small for one person, let alone two, and Mickey couldn’t help but wonder if this was a temporary place for Ian to stay or a more permanent one.

After he stepped into the apartment, he turned and let his eyes fully take in Ian’s injuries.

“Looks a lot worse than it is,” Ian tried to shrug it off.

“’d hate to have seen it right after it first happened, then,” Mickey said quietly, “did a pretty good number on you, didn’t it?”

Ian nodded, feeling uncomfortable under Mickey’s gaze, and he tried to joke, “Gotta stay away from stairs, or you know, at least not try to navigate them when I’m recovering from a migraine, and ‘m exhausted.”

Mickey smiled sadly at Ian’s flimsy explanation for what had happened, but he tried to quickly wipe the expression from his face. The last thing he wanted was for Ian to feel like he was pitying him.

“Been putting ice on it?” Mickey asked.

“Yeah,” Ian smiled, “I feel like my entire face is an ice cube at this point.”

Mickey chuckled, “What about heat?”

Ian looked confused, “Am I supposed to be putting heat on it?”

Mickey nodded, “Little known secret,” he said, “after you’ve applied ice or something cold to your face for a day or two, switch over to heat. It helps break up the bruising and makes it fade faster.”

“Huh,” Ian responded, “I had no idea.”

“Obviously,” Mickey looked at him pointedly, “Does your brother have something you can use as a warm compress?”

Lip was standing within earshot, and he said, “Yeah, I think one of the cold compresses can actually be put in the microwave, too.”

Mickey nodded, “Heat it up, and I’ll help him arrange it over the worst part.”

Lip nodded and smiled to himself as he went to his kitchen area. “Just coworkers” his ass. He marveled at how clueless Ian could be. It was so incredibly obvious that Mickey cared about his brother far beyond that.

He grabbed one of the compresses that hadn’t made its way back to the freezer just yet and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. After it beeped, Lip grabbed it by an end and handed it to Mickey, who was sitting on the couch with Ian.

After he handed it to him, Mickey turned to Ian, “Okay, turn and face me.”

Ian did, and Mickey tested the temperature of the compress to make sure it wasn’t too hot. He centered in on the worst of the bruises on Ian’s face and gently applied the warm compress to it.

Ian closed his eyes as he melted into the compress, “Fuck…”

A look of concern appeared on Mickey’s face, “Is it too hot?”

Ian opened one eye to look at him and shook his head, “Feels really good, actually. Wish I woulda known to do this before.”

Mickey smiled and continued to hold the compress against Ian’s head, “Happy I could help.”

Ian sighed and hummed in response as he relaxed against the compress and Mickey’s hand. When the warmth started to fade from the compress, Ian opened one of his eyes again to look at Mickey, “So, how do you know how to do this?”

Mickey shrugged, “Mandy.”

A look of realization came over Ian’s face, “Ohhhh! Because of…”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I had to help her more than once while she was with that piece of shit. He’d beat her black and blue, knowing she had a shift at work the next night, and she didn’t want to show up looking, well, looking kinda like you do right now. I looked up the quickest way to get rid of bruising, and after icing it for a day or two, you use the warm compress to help get the liquid flowing under your skin, which helps the bruising fade faster.”

Ian nodded but didn’t say anything, and Mickey took a deep breath before asking, “Ian, can I ask you something? It’s really personal, and I know we barely know each other, so I understand if you say no.”

Ian steeled himself, already anticipating what Mickey was going to ask, and let out a deep sigh, “Go ahead. I’m sure it’s the question everyone’s been wondering this week.”

Mickey’s eyes softened as he removed the warm compress, and Ian opened both of his eyes to look at him.

Mickey took another deep breath, “Did you really fall down the stairs?”

Before Ian could form an answer, the buzzer for Lip’s apartment went off again, and this time Ian shrugged when Lip wordlessly asked him if he was expecting anyone else.

Lip walked over to the speaker and pressed the intercom button, “Yo, who is it?”

A huge sigh followed by, “Philip, it’s Adam. Can you buzz me up so I can talk to Ian?”

Chapter Text

The look of panic on Ian’s face answered Mickey’s question for him, but he chose not to say anything as Ian hissed at Lip, “Stall him.”

He then turned to Mickey with a look that was combination apology and panic and said, “Mickey, this was so wonderful of you to do. You didn’t have to, and I don’t want you to think I’m not grateful, but you have to hide before he gets up here.”

The panic in Ian’s eyes was all too familiar as he remembered seeing a similar look in Mandy’s eyes when she was with John.

Mickey didn’t want to risk Ian’s safety, but before he looked for a space to hide, he said quietly, “Ian…you don’t have to.”

Ian took a panicked breath, “Mickey, I just…I can’t right now, okay? I have to deal with this, so can you please just do this for me?”

Mickey sighed and nodded. He spotted Lip’s bathroom, which was the only place that was closed off from the rest of the apartment. He gestured to it and raised his eyebrows at Ian, who nodded at him, then at Lip, before he turned back to Mickey and quietly said, “Thank you, Mickey. I’m so sorry, but thank you.”

Lip and Ian made sure Mickey was hidden by the bathroom door before Lip buzzed Adam up. When there was a knock on the door, Lip opened it and glared at Adam.

To his credit, Adam looked properly ashamed as he asked, “Can I come in?”

Lip wordlessly stepped aside and gestured for him to come in. He walked inside and cautiously approached Ian as he sat on the couch. Instead of sitting next to him, he came and knelt in front of him. He looked up at Ian’s face, and Ian could see tears in the corner of his eyes. Whether they were real or forced for dramatic value was anyone’s guess, but Adam played the part he always did and said, “E, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…fuck…I didn’t mean to do this. I’m so ashamed. I just…after the other night when we dropped him off at his apartment and what you said to him, and then seeing a text like that from him so late at night…you can see how I thought there was something going on, can’t you?”

Ian wasn’t ready to budge just yet, “No, Adam, actually I can’t. I told you the other night that there was nothing going on, and I’ve given you no reason to think otherwise. The reason why Mickey texted is because I was awful to him on Friday. I had a migraine, and I felt like shit, and he kept trying to convince me to go home instead of sticking it out. But I refused, and I was a complete and total asshole to him. He thought he had done something wrong, and that’s why he sent that message.”

Mickey couldn’t help but gasp softly as he heard the interaction between Ian and Adam. God, he felt awful for unintentionally being the stimulus that led to Ian’s injuries. If only he’d just waited until Monday to talk to him, maybe none of this…

No, Mickey shook his head, he was not to blame for Adam’s obvious jealousy and anger issues. He was sorry that his text had led to this specific incident, but all of this was 100% Adam’s fault. He focused on staying quiet so as not to draw attention to himself and to be able to hear what would be said next.

Adam lowered his head and sniffled, “I’m so sorry, Ian. I know I don’t deserve it, but do you think you could…could you give me another chance? Maybe I can go back to those anger management classes, learn more about how to manage my temper so this doesn’t happen again.”

Ian sighed, “I dunno, Adam. I mean, we’ve been through this before.”

“I know, Ian, I know. I just…I miss having you in bed next to me. I miss having you home, and I swear to you this won’t happen again, so please…will you come home with me?”

Ian sighed and didn’t respond for a few moments, then he said quietly, “You swear this won’t happen again?”

Adam’s voice broke, “Oh, god, I swear it won’t, Ian. I swear to everything that is good and holy and precious in this world that I won’t hurt you again, not like this.”

Ian’s face broke into a small smile, “That might be a little over the top.”

Adam gave him a cautious smile, “So, does this mean…?”

Ian gave him a bigger smile, and to Mickey’s horror, he heard Ian say, “Yeah, okay…lemme grab my stuff.”

It took everything in Mickey not to burst through Lip’s bathroom door and tell Ian…beg Ian…not to go with Adam. Now that he had confirmation of what had caused Ian’s injuries, he knew he had to somehow convince Ian to leave Adam before something worse happened.

Because it always did.

While Ian was gathering his stuff, Adam turned to Lip and asked, “Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom really quick?”

The other 3 people in the apartment froze, but Lip had always been good at thinking on his feet, and he said, “Oh, the toilet doesn’t work right now. I gotta get my landlord to get a plumber out here.”

Adam looked at him warily, “What have you been doing then?”

Lip shrugged, “Peeing in the shower, taking a shit while I’m at work.”

Mickey had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he pictured the look of disgust on Adam’s face in response to what Lip had just said. He listened as Ian said his goodbyes to his brother, and he could hear Lip as he lowered his voice and said, “So, help me god, you better mean everything you said this time, asshole,” followed by a warning, “Lip,” from Ian, then finally a heavy sigh from Lip right before he heard the door to the apartment close.

A few moments later, Lip called out, “Okay, it’s safe for you to come out now, Mickey.”

Mickey heaved a sigh of relief and came out from the bathroom.

Lip stood there, still staring at the door. Mickey looked from him to the door and back before saying, “So, ‘s that, like, a thing that happens a lot?”

Lip sighed, “He’s come here a few times when Adam’s taken out his anger on some of the more breakable items at the house. This is the 2^nd time he’s shown up looking like this, though.”

Mickey nodded, “Have you…what does he say when you…have you tried to get him to leave?”

Lip snorted, “Of course I have. Tell him all the time that he can do better, that he doesn’t have to stay with him, that he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, that we can figure it out.”

“So, then, why…?”

Lip sighed, “Adam has some sort of hold over him…emotional, mental, financial…probably a combination of all 3. No matter how many times I tell him those things, he’s convinced that someone like Adam is the best he can do when it comes to relationships.”

Mickey looked at him incredulously, “The fuck?”

Lip shrugged and finally looked at Mickey with a sad smile, “He’s the only one who’s stayed. I guess you probably know that Ian has bipolar disorder,” Mickey nodded, and Lip continued, “when he has periods of hypomania or low periods, it can be a challenge for people to deal with. Or, it has been with the other guys he’s dated anyway. They all made him feel like he was too much to handle, like they couldn’t deal with that part of him. Adam’s a horrible human being, and I want to beat his face in for how he treats Ian, but…”

Mickey nodded, “But he stayed.”

Lip nodded at Mickey, “It sucks, but as someone who knows what it’s like to have shitty parents and people who leave, ‘m sure you can understand the significance of having someone in your life who doesn’t leave when things get tough.”

Mickey nodded, “Oh, yeah, I understand that all too well. Reminds me of my sister, honestly. After going through what we went through when we were growing up, I just pushed people away before they could do it to me. She did the opposite and stayed in relationships with guys who stayed but treated her like shit, beat her and manipulated her, so yeah, believe me when I say I understand.”

Lip looked over at Mickey, really looked at him, and Mickey couldn’t shake the feeling that he was seeing all his inner thoughts and feelings.

The sad smile left Lip’s face, and a smirk replaced it, “You like my brother, don’t you?”

Mickey tried to brush it off, but he knew the blush on his cheeks gave him away, “Pssh, what? What are you talking about?”

Lip’s smirk turned into a smile, “You do, don’t you? You texted him to tell him you were sorry for making him mad last Friday, even though what happened wasn’t your fault. You tracked him down over here because you were worried about him. You fuckin’ held a warm cloth to the side of his face to help with his bruises. You like my brother. I fuckin’ knew it!”

Mickey figured there was no point in fighting it, so he shrugged, “Not like anything’s gonna happen, though, is it,” he gestured to the door where Ian had just exited with Adam.

Lip sighed, “I know Ian has to leave on his own terms, but if you really care about him, Mickey, if you really like him, just be there, okay? He’ll see it eventually.”

Mickey nodded, then sighed, “Yeah, well, I guess ‘m gonna,” he gestured to the door, then started to walk towards it.

“Hey, Mickey,” Lip called out, and Mickey turned back to look at him, “thanks.”

Mickey nodded, then asked, “For what?”

Lip shot him a half smile, “Caring.”

Mickey smiled in return and nodded, “Later, Lip.”

He let himself out of Lip’s apartment and headed to the L to go home.

When he got home, it was late, but Mandy was still up.

“Mick? You okay?”

Mickey nodded slightly, but it was obvious he was lost in his thoughts as he set his keys down and came to sit down on the couch next to Mandy.

“Went to see Ian tonight.”

“How’d you…”

“Geneva, at the shelter. Told him she might come by with soup, so he gave her the address. She gave it to me.”

“Okay, so…how’s he doing?”

Mickey scrubbed his hand over his face, and Mandy saw that his hands were shaking.

“It was…fuck…he looked fucking awful, Mands. His face was all bruised up. I’m sure he was bruised on other parts of his body that I couldn’t see, too. Fuck!!”

He turned to look at her and saw the look of sadness on her face right before she said, “Adam?”

Mickey nodded with unbidden tears in his eyes, “Fucking Adam.”

Mandy nodded in understanding, “How’d you leave things?”

Mickey let out a humorless laugh, “Fucking asshole showed up while I was there.”

“Holy shit, Mick! What’d you do?”

Mickey shrugged, “Ian asked me to hide in Lip’s bathroom.”

Mandy looked confused, “What? Why?”

Mickey sighed, “Apparently…shit…apparently the reason why Adam beat Ian is because he thinks there’s something going on between me and him. He saw the text I sent him last weekend, and he flipped his shit.”

Mandy’s eyes widened, “Oh, wow…fuck, Mickey…”

Mickey nodded, “I just can’t help but think if I hadn’t sent that text…if I had just waited til Monday to talk to him…”

Mandy scooted over and laid a tentative hand on Mickey’s arm, “Mickey,” she said softly, “what happened isn’t your fault. Based on what you’ve told me, I can tell you from experience this likely isn’t the first time this has happened.”

Mickey sniffled a little, “I know, Mands, but you didn’t see him…fuck…and then he went back to him.”

“Wait, what?”

Mickey nodded, “Yep. I hid in the bathroom and listened to that son of a bitch apologize and swear it would never happen again. Begged Ian to come back home with him. And he did.”

Mandy sighed, “Mick, I know it’s hard, but Ian’s not going to leave until he’s ready.”

Mickey turned and looked at Mandy with tears in his eyes, “But what if…Mandy, what if…”

Mandy shook her head, “Just be there, Mick. Show him, and just be there.”

Mickey nodded, “Lip said the same thing,” he swiped at his eyes, “Fuck…fucking hate this.”

Mandy squeezed Mickey’s arm just slightly, “I know you do, Mick. I know.”

Mickey wiped his hand over his face a couple of times before taking a deep breath, “Think ‘m gonna…ahem…head to bed, try to get some sleep, ya know? It’s getting late.”

Mandy nodded, “Yeah, I think I’m gonna do the same.”

They both stood up from the couch, and in a rare display of affection, Mandy turned and wrapped her arms around her brother’s shoulders, “You’re a really good guy, Mick, and a really great brother. ‘m sorry this is how everything’s going down.”

Mickey sighed and briefly returned her hug as he nodded, “Yeah, me, too.”

He patted her on the back, and she broke the hug, “See you in the morning.”

Mickey nodded, and they both parted ways to head to their respective bedrooms. It took a long time for sleep to find Mickey that night, and while he lay in bed, he thought of all the ways he could show Ian that he cared about him and that Ian deserved so much better than Adam, whether that was Mickey or not.

The rest of the weekend passed without incident, and before Mickey knew it, Monday morning had rolled around. His stomach flipped a little as he got ready to go into work. He was happy Ian would be back today, at least he assumed he would be, but he was also apprehensive about how the rest of Ian’s weekend had been with him back with Adam.

Mickey’s anxiety mostly abated when he arrived at the shelter and Ian was already at his desk. Ash and Geneva were there, too, and they all smiled and greeted Mickey when he walked in.

Mickey snuck glances at Ian when he thought he wasn’t looking, and he was pleased to see that most of the bruising on Ian’s face had faded considerably. One time, he did get caught, though, and Ian shot him a small smile to which Mickey quickly looked away, even as he felt blood rush to his cheeks.

Mary came in to do her rounds and see if there was anything she needed to know from the previous week. Before she left their office area, she cleared her throat and said, “Gallagher, glad to see you back. You good?”

“Yeah, Mary, ‘m good. Thanks for asking.”

She gave him a curt nod, then exited their office to head back to hers.

Everyone got started on their tasks for the day, and Ian took a deep breath and walked over to Mickey’s desk.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Mickey asked.

“Can I, uh, can I talk to you for a minute?” Ian nodded his head toward the hallway.

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

He got up from his desk and pretended not to notice the twin looks of interest coming from Ash and Geneva as he and Ian walked out of the office. Ian led him to one of the quiet rooms and gestured for him to have a seat on one of the couches, and Ian sat in the chair that was in there.

Both of them were silent for a few moments, and Ian finally said, “Look, Mick, I owe you an apology.”

Mickey interrupted, “Nah, man, you…don’t worry about it…”

But Ian held a hand up, “Yeah, I do. I owe you a big apology. The Friday…when I had the migraine…I was a complete and total dick to you. You were just trying to be nice and helpful, and I was awful to you, and I am so sorry for that, Mickey. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

Mickey nodded, “Hey, it’s cool, Gallagher. It’s nice to hear that, but I mean, I know how easy it is to lash out when you’re in a bad mood or feeling sick or whatever. So, we’re cool. No worries, okay?”

Ian nodded, and silence descended on them again. Just as it looked like Ian was getting ready to leave the room, Mickey spoke.

“Did you, uh, use heat on your face over the weekend?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, thank you so much for that, by the way. It really worked.”

Mickey smiled, “Yeah, I noticed. Your face looks a lot better than it did on Friday.”

Ian couldn’t resist teasing Mickey a little, “Hey, what’re you trying to say about my face?”

Mickey blushed, “I…nothing…I mean, the bruises or whatever…not…never mind.”

Ian chuckled, “I’m just kidding, Mickey.”

Silence once again, and then Mickey asked, “So…how was…your weekend, you know, with…everything…?”

Ian cleared his throat, “Yeah, it was…it was fine. Nice to be back in my bed, ya know?”

Mickey nodded, “And he didn’t…”

Ian shook his head, “Nah, everything was good there.”

Mickey nodded, “Okay, good.”

There was silence once more, and this time, it was Mickey who started to get up when Ian’s voice stopped him, “Mick, I…can I ask a favor?”

Mickey nodded, “Sure, what’s up?”

Ian let out a huge sigh, “Can you not say anything to G or Ash about, you know, what really happened?”

Mickey shrugged and nodded, “It’s your business, Ian. ‘s not my story to tell.”

Ian nodded, “Thanks, Mick…and one more thing?”

Mickey’s eyebrows raised in question.

Ian took a deep breath, “God, I feel like such an asshole even asking this, but do you think maybe…in the evenings, when it’s getting close to time for our shifts to be over, could you maybe keep your distance from me? Like, the rest of the day is fine for us to be around each other, and it’s…please don’t think I’m asking that because I don’t want to be around you. I do, it’s just…”

Mickey interjected, “I get it, Ian.”

Ian looked at Mickey worriedly, “Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to think that I don’t, you know, wanna be around you or anything like that.”

Mickey nodded, “I don’t want to give Adam any reason to think it’s okay to lose his temper, do something like this again.”

Ian looked embarrassed, “I guess you heard our conversation on Friday, huh?”

Mickey shrugged, “Lip’s apartment ain’t that big.”

Ian nodded, and Mickey said, “Look, I’m fine with that, it’s no biggie, but I gotta ask, Ian…why?”

Mickey could see the moment the question reached Ian’s ears as his entire body stiffened, and he said, “Why what?”

Mickey gave him a look, “Why stay? Why put up with it? Just…why?”

Ian shrugged, “You don’t know the whole story.”

Mickey sighed, “You’re right. I don’t. But I know you don’t deserve to be treated like that. No one does.”

Mickey could feel the defensiveness rising off of Ian’s body even before he spoke, “Listen, Mickey, you don’t know anything about my relationship. You barely know me. All I wanted to do is say that I’m sorry for being an asshole to you when I felt bad and ask you not to say anything about what you heard on Friday night to Ash and Geneva. Besides that, though, my relationship is none of your fucking business, got it?”

Mickey nodded, “Got it.”

Ian got up to leave the room, and Mickey called out to him once more, “Hey, Ian? One more thing.”

Ian raised his eyebrows, indicating for Mickey to continue.

Mickey made direct eye contact with Ian as he said, “You deserve better. ‘s all I’m saying.”

Ian let out a humorless laugh, “Yeah, well, ‘f you come across someone ‘better’ who’s also willing to put up with uncontrollable mood swings and an occasional inability to get it up, you be sure and let me know,” before storming out of the room.

Mickey was left in the room by himself, and he shrugged to himself and whispered, “I would.”

Chapter Text

If Geneva or Ash picked up on the tension that was there between Ian and Mickey for the rest of the day, neither one of them said anything about it. The rest of the day went much like the ones before it had. Since Mickey had covered Ian’s small group the previous week, there wasn’t time for Mary to form one that would be his own, so they left him as a floater, rotating from Geneva to Ash to Ian, with the plan for any new kids to go into Mickey’s group.

Even though Ash and Geneva hadn’t mentioned anything about the tension between Ian and Mickey, that didn’t mean it went unnoticed by the kids.

Mickey had become D’mitri’s unofficial tutor, and while he helped him with his homework, D’mitri asked, “Is everything okay with you and Ian?”

Mickey shrugged, “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

D’mitri shrugged, “I dunno. Just…you guys usually joke around with each other and shoot each other smiles when you don’t think the other one is looking, and today, you barely looked at each other.”

Mickey sighed inwardly. This kid was too observant and insightful for Mickey’s own good.

Outwardly, he said, “Nah, man, we’re fine. Nothing’s going on.”

D’mitri looked like he wanted to say more, but he let the subject drop and went back to talking about homework.

The tension became more evident that evening when Ian opted to have Geneva work with him on one part of dinner, leaving Mickey and Ash to work on the other part. Ash shot Mickey a look that let him know Ian’s choice hadn’t gone unnoticed, but Mickey refused to give anything other than a shrug in response.

After dinner, Mickey started to head to the kitchen to help with washing dishes as he’d been doing most evenings, but as soon as he hit the doorway, he saw Ian and Geneva already standing at the sink. Ian turned and glanced at Mickey, but the look he gave him was blank, and he quickly turned back to the sink. Geneva turned and looked at Mickey, shrugging with an apologetic look in her eyes. Mickey wiped his face and shook his head at her, letting her know he wasn’t mad at her, before he headed back out to the rec room to talk with some of the kids before his shift was over.

Adam arrived at 6:45, and instead of Ian making him wait until his shift was over at 7, he came out to the rec room with his things already with him. He didn’t spare a glance to Mickey, but Adam did make it a point to greet Ian with a smile and a peck on the lips as he looked directly at Mickey. Mickey quickly looked away and responded to the conversation in the group he was sitting with. When he was sure they had left, he looked at his watch and realized it was time to leave for the day.

When he got back to the office, Ash had already left, but Geneva was still in there. She gave Mickey a sympathetic smile and took a couple of breaths before she spoke, “Mickey, I don’t know what happened between you and Ian earlier, but all I can suggest is…just be patient with him. We might all look like we’re stable and doing well, and considering our pasts, I guess we are. But bad choices still happen, and on some level, we’re all still struggling, you know?”

Mickey nodded and smirked at her, “Yeah, being patient with Ian and what’s going on with him seems to be the theme of all the conversations I’ve had recently. But thanks, G, I appreciate the words of support.”

Geneva smiled and nodded before leaving the office. Mickey took a deep breath, thankful the day was over, but still deep in emotional turmoil as he left for the evening and headed home.

“How was today?” Mandy’s voice greeted him as soon as he closed the door to the apartment behind him.

Mickey let out a deep breath, “Shitty.”

Mandy looked surprised, “Really? I thought you loved it there.”

Mickey sighed, “I do. The kids are great. The work is great. A stubborn Ian Gallagher is not great.”

“Ohh, Mick…what happened?”

Mickey took a deep breath, “I…mighta…asked him why he continues to stay with Adam?”

“Mickey!”

“What?! Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing? I also told him he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, and that he deserves better, if you wanna yell at me for that, too.”

Mandy sighed, “What was his response?”

Mickey shrugged, “He got super defensive, telling me I don’t know anything about his relationship.”

“Well, of course he did, Mickey!”

“Whoa! Why’re you talking to me like I’m the bad guy here for pointing out the obvious?”

“It’s not obvious to him!”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“Do you not remember the conversation we had about why people stay in abusive relationships? I told you about how I believed all the shit guys told me, and that’s part of the reason why I stayed with them?”

“Yeah? And?”

“Telling someone the opposite of what they believe about themselves and their situation challenges everything they think, Mick. No one responds well to that.”

“So what am I supposed to do, Mandy? Just sit back while he tries to walk on eggshells around a guy who will smack him around for breathing differently?”

“No, but this is the complete opposite of what I suggested you do, Mickey, which was just be there. Remember that?”

“Fuck!” Mickey exclaimed, “Yes, I fucking remember that, but I care too much not to speak up, Mandy. Don’t you get that?”

The fight went out of Mandy at those words, and she softened considerably, “You really do, don’t you?”

The fight went out of Mickey, too, as he realized what he’d just said, and his voice cracked as he said, “Yeah…I really fuckin’ do.”

“Try talking to him, Mick. You’re never gonna get anywhere as long as things stay like this.”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I know, but what do I say?”

Two more days of the trademark Gallagher stubbornness and chin, and Mickey was done. He managed to catch Ian in the office by himself right before their lunch break that Wednesday and he took a deep breath and said, “Ian, we need to talk.”

He saw something flash in Ian’s eyes, and Ian replied, “I don’t really have anything to say.”

Mickey responded, “Okay, then you can listen. Can we find somewhere to go?”

But Ian’s stubbornness was in full effect as he said, “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it in here.”

Mickey sighed, “Okay, fine. I’m…I’m not sorry for what I said, you know, that no one deserves to be treated like that. But you’re right, I haven’t even known you that long, and I don’t know anything about your relationship. I’m sorry for making judgments about it, and I…I just want things to go back the way they were. I miss being around you and talking with you and joking with you, you know? Tell me what to do so we can go back to that, and I’ll do it.”

Ian took a deep breath, “You done making judgements about my relationship?”

Mickey was silent for a few moments, “I…I’ll at least try to keep them to myself. Does that work?”

Ian cracked a smile, “I guess so, you judgy bastard.”

Mickey smiled in response, “So we’re good? We’re okay?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, we’re okay, and, uh, I guess I missed being around you, too.”

Mickey’s smile widened in response. It was a start.

The lack of tension between Ian and Mickey for the rest of the day and week was definitely noticeable, and Geneva was all too happy to relinquish being on kitchen duty. Each evening still ended the same way, though. Around 6:45, Ian would either slip out of the kitchen to get his things from the office in anticipation of Adam’s arrival, or he would shoot Mickey a look, and Mickey would head to the rec room so Adam wouldn’t see the two of them together.

Over the next few weeks, Mickey tried to keep an eye out for any sort of discoloration on the parts of Ian’s body that he could see. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be any, so even though Mickey definitely still had his opinions about Adam and their relationship, he kept them to himself.

Between the hours of 10:30 and 6:45, his friendship with Ian had only gotten stronger. Ian had really started opening up to Mickey, telling him about dancing in the club and hooking up with most of the guys there in the year he did it during his first manic episode. Mickey had been supportive and empathized with making unhealthy choices and not realizing it until later when you looked back on that time in your life. Ian had responded with a relieved smile that Mickey didn’t judge him for the parts of his life that weren’t pretty.

Mickey couldn’t help but comment on the mental visual of Ian in a dancer outfit, though, “What did you have to wear?”

Ian huffed out a laugh, “Very little. It was different things for different nights of the week, I guess. One of the outfits was shiny gold short shorts and a gold tie to match.”

Mickey shot him a side glance, “How short we talking, Gallagher?”

Ian had shown Mickey with his hands where the shorts began and where they stopped, and Mickey couldn’t help how high his eyebrows shot up or his following comment, “Damn, Gallagher. Bet you looked hot as fuck in those.”

He watched as a blush worked its way up Ian’s neck into his face, and Ian averted his eyes, then glanced up at Mickey.

Mickey almost thought he’d imagined it, but he could’ve sworn there was a look of desire in Ian’s glance, and his softly chiding, “Mickey,” sparked Mickey’s heart to flip a little. Mickey could feel the responding desire in his own eyes, and his breathing started to get ragged as they both seemed to shuffle a little closer together.

The moment was broken when they heard Mary’s gruff voice, “Gallagher? Phone for you. Tara’s guardian.”

Even though they hadn’t really been that close physically, Ian jumped back from Mickey as if he’d been burned and responded, “Yep, got it, Mary. Thanks.”

He headed to answer his phone call, and Mickey made his way back to the office.

One day, Ian had asked about Mandy. Mickey smiled, despite his occasional disdain for his sibling, and told Ian about how well she was doing and how much she liked her job, despite her sleazy boss. Ian asked where she was working, and Mickey wasn’t sure of the name of the company, but that it was a tech start-up and that she was the assistant to the CEO, whose name was Brian.

The color drained from Ian’s face, and Mickey immediately became concerned, “Yo, Gallagher…Ian…you okay?”

“That’s where Adam works,” Ian muttered, “I guess I just didn’t realize…poor Colleen.”

Mickey was confused, “Who the fuck is Colleen?”

Ian sighed, “Brian’s girlfriend. They’ve been together for years. Guess that’s just one more reason for me to hate him.”

Mickey immediately became curious, “What are the other reasons? Should I be worried about Mandy?”

Ian shrugged, “He’s a privileged snob who looks down on people who he considers ‘below him,’ but if he hasn’t tried anything sexual with her, then I’d say she’s in the clear. As for the other reasons I hate him, that one’s a big part of it. Another is that whenever we’ve gone out to eat with them, he and Adam always disappear to the bathroom for lengthy periods of time while Colleen drinks a bottle of wine and tries to hit on me.”

Mickey gritted his teeth and sucked in a breath, “Fucking yikes, dude.”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, the last time we went out to dinner with them, Brian and Adam went to the bathroom and did E, then Brian came back out and fingered Colleen while we all sat there and tried to eat.”

Mickey couldn’t help but bark out a laugh at the visual, “Jesus…fucking…what did you do?”

Ian laughed in response, the incident seeming much funnier now than it had when it was actually happening, “Tried to choke down as much food as I could. After she came at the table and started jerking Brian off underneath the table, that was all I could take, so we just left.”

Mickey burst out laughing, “Holy shit, Gallagher! That’s fucking priceless!! How uncomfortable was that?”

Mickey’s laughter was infectious, and Ian found himself cracking up even more, “I think it was the most uncomfortable for me, actually. Adam was on E, so he couldn’t have cared less, but I don’t watch straight porn on video, nor did I want to see a live action version right in front of me, so…”

Mickey let out another burst of laughter, and when he looked at Ian, he was treated to a full, genuine Ian Gallagher smile. His laughter died off, and Ian just kept smiling at him. Mickey felt himself start to blush, and he asked, “What? What is it?”

Ian’s cheeks were a little pink, too, as he said, “You should laugh more. It looks good on you.”

Mickey bit his lip and looked away, but he couldn’t control his smile as he looked back at Ian and reached over to tap his foot against his as he said, “Yeah, well, you should smile more. It looks damn good on you.”

If possible, Ian’s smile widened even more, but he seemed to realize who he was having a moment with, and he cleared his throat after a few moments, “Ahem…I, uh, it’s time to get the snacks ready. Kids’ll be coming through any minute.”

Mickey nodded, “Want some help?”

Ian looked torn but ultimately smiled at Mickey and nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

After that, Mickey continued doing exactly what Lip, Mandy, and even Geneva suggested, and he was just there. He tried to strike up a conversation with Ian whenever the day and time allowed for it, and he respected what Ian had asked and made himself scarce (or at least not in Ian’s direct vicinity) when 6:45 hit.

About 2 months after Mickey had started at Hopeful Place, he noticed that Ian seemed exceptionally distracted one day. He had tried to talk to him about it, but it had been a busier than usual day, and Ian had brushed him off whenever he’d asked him if he was okay. It wasn’t until they were washing dishes as dinner finished up that Mickey had an opportunity to really talk to him.

“Gallagher, tell me what’s going on. I know it’s not nothing.”

Ian sighed heavily, “Lip’s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.”

Mickey raised his eyebrows, waiting for more, but when Ian didn’t say anything, he prompted, “And? Why’s that got you so distracted today?”

Ian shrugged, “He wants to have a neighborhood party, you know, family and friends and ne’er do wells, everyone.”

Mickey chuckled, “Oh, yeah, I remember going to a few of those back in the day. Was always a good time.”

Ian gave him a wan smile, then said, “Adam doesn’t want to go.”

Mickey still didn’t see the problem, “Okay, so he doesn’t have to, does he? You can still go and have a good time, right?”

Ian turned sad eyes toward Mickey, “He doesn’t want me to go, either. He thinks the family’s a bad influence on me, thinks they’re trying to hold me back and keep me ‘South Side forever’ or some shit like that. He also thinks they’re trying to turn me against him.”

“Ian,” Mickey’s voice turned serious, “I know I said I wouldn’t make any judgmental comments about your relationship out loud, but this is not okay. You love your family. Lip is your best friend. You can’t cut ties with family. And what’s wrong with being ‘South Side forever,’ huh?”

He tapped the side of Ian’s foot with his, and Ian grinned in response. They had finished washing the dishes, and Ian turned towards Mickey, “Yeah, I guess I could just tell him I’m going without him, right?”

Mickey reached up and put his hands on both of Ian’s shoulders, “Yes, you can and should do that. Trust me when I say you’ll probably have a better time without him there anyway.”

Ian smiled at Mickey and was just about to thank him for listening when a voice interrupted them.

“What’s this?” Adam’s ice cold tone sounded from the doorway.

Neither one of them had been paying any attention to the time, and Adam’s arrival time had snuck up on them.

Mickey immediately stepped back, and Ian tried to smile as he shook his head, “It’s nothing, Adam. We were just talking.”

Adam took a step into the kitchen, “About me from what it sounded like.”

“I-I was just telling Mickey about Lip’s birthday in a couple of weeks. That’s all. I promise.”

The look in Adam’s eyes didn’t change, and he was silent for more than a few moments before sniffing once and looking at Ian, “I’ll be at the car. I trust you’ll go get your things now and meet me out there.”

He turned and left the kitchen, and Mickey looked at Ian. The fear in his eyes was palpable, and Mickey quietly asked, “Are you gonna be okay?”

Ian tried to smile and nod, “Yeah…yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll just explain when I get out there, and it’ll be fine.”

But Mickey saw right through him. They both remembered what had happened when Mickey had sent a mostly benign text, and Ian had ended up with 2 black eyes, a bruised face, and bruised arms.

Ian started to hurry from the kitchen, “Okay, well, I gotta go. I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow, Mick.”

“Ian,” Mickey grabbed his shoulder before he could bolt, “promise me that if he does something, you’ll call me or Lip or someone.”

Ian nodded, but Mickey wasn’t convinced, and he said again, “Promise me.”

This time, Ian nodded with more certainty as he made eye contact with Mickey, and he whispered, “I promise. I better get out there.”

Mickey nodded and released his shoulder, at which point Ian did bolt, and Mickey caught a blur of him as he rushed back by the kitchen with his stuff and headed to the door of the shelter.

Mickey took a deep breath and released it slowly as he sent prayers to a higher power he didn’t even believe in that Ian would be safe and that if he wasn’t, someone could get to him before anything truly serious happened.

Chapter Text

Ian’s heart was racing as he exited the shelter. Adam wasn’t even standing next to the car. He was already inside, waiting for Ian to get in. Ian ran through his options. He could refuse to go with him. He could run for the L and go to Lip’s. Or he could just take a deep breath and get in the car. Things had been decent between them lately, so surely Adam would listen to reason and see that nothing was going on between Ian and Mickey, right?

Ian opened the door and sat down in the passenger seat. As soon as he fastened his seatbelt, he tried to explain.

“Adam, I promise nothing was going on. I was just bummed out thinking about not going to Lip’s birthday in a couple of weeks, and he asked about it.”

Ian watched as Adam’s grip tightened on the wheel, and he hissed out, “We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

But Ian tried again to explain, “I’m just trying to tell you that nothing’s going on, Adam. Please don’t be mad.”

“IAN! BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT IT WOULD BE BEST FOR YOU TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME TO DISCUSS THIS FURTHER! IS THAT CLEAR???”

Ian startled and shrank in fear as Adam yelled at him in the car. He couldn’t do anything but whimper and nod in response, and he wished he had listened to his first instinct at the shelter, which was to refuse to get in the car.

Ian felt his anxiety start to skyrocket, and he practiced taking deep breaths so he didn’t hyperventilate. He could figure out a way out of this. He just had to focus on staying calm.

The rest of the car ride was silent, and Adam didn’t even say anything when he got out of the car. He just slammed the door behind him and stalked into the house, and Ian assumed he was supposed to follow him.

When he entered the house, there was no sign of Adam, so Ian went to their bedroom. He was surprised, to say the least, to find Adam undressing. After he was naked, he walked seductively over to a shell-shocked Ian.

He placed his hands on Ian’s chest and let his hands travel upwards until his hands were locked behind Ian’s neck.

“Adam…what…??” Ian was incredibly confused by this turn of events.

“Fuck me, Ian,” Adam leaned in to kiss him.

Ian barely responded, his brain still trying to catch up with what was happening.

“Prove to me that it’s me you want and not him,” Adam’s hand traveled Ian’s body down to his crotch.

Ian tried to respond to Adam’s attempt at seduction, but the messages in his brain were still too mixed up. He had anticipated Adam’s rage, not…whatever this was…

Ian gradually started to respond to Adam’s kisses, but the pressure he felt like he was under to get an erection was too much, and his body wasn’t responding.

Adam pulled back from Ian’s mouth and pulled his hand away from Ian’s flaccid cock, “Why aren’t you hard?”

“I just…this wasn’t what I was expecting, Adam…my brain’s just really confused right now.”

“Let me help you get unconfused, then,” Adam walked over to his bedside table where he kept the little blue pills, and he shook one out in his hand, then walked back over to Ian and pressed it against his lips, “bottoms up, lover.”

But Ian pressed his lips together and shook his head, “Adam, please don’t. You don’t realize what those do to me. I can’t sleep, and I can barely function the next day.”

Adam lowered his hand, and the next words out of his mouth were spoken in a dangerously low tone, “So, you’re telling me that whatever you have to do tomorrow is more important than this?”

Ian looked at Adam pleadingly, “Please, Adam…please under…”

But the rest of Ian’s statement was slapped out of his mouth as Adam’s anger made its appearance.

“Shut the fuck up, Ian.”

Ian’s hand flew to his cheek, but Adam wasn’t done as he circled him.

“You know, all my friends told me it would be a waste of time and energy to try and mold you into an upstanding citizen from the impoverished street urchin you grew up as,” a punch to Ian’s torso, “but I thought I saw something in you the night we met. Something,” he stopped in front of Ian and tipped his chin up, “special.”

He leaned in to kiss Ian’s lips gently, then whispered, “Guess the joke was on me.”

And with that, another slap across Ian’s face, followed by punches across his cheek, in the nose, his other arm, his ribs, all while Adam hurled insults at him.

“The only part of you that’s worth anything doesn’t even work right.”

“Fucking crazy bipolar maniac. Maybe I should stop paying for your meds, let you go manic. At least then I’d get fucked on a regular basis.”

“Worthless piece of South Side trash.”

“You were lucky I even looked at you. Invited you into my home, and this is the thanks I get?”

Ian had fallen to the floor and was curled up in a ball as Adam started kicking him, not being able to reach him with his fists. Then he stopped, but the moment of reprieve was short as Adam got on the floor with Ian and started trying to wrestle his clothes off.

Ian fought against him as best he could, and he spotted his phone just a few feet away on the bed. If he could just get to it…

“Yeah, I know how much angry sex gets you going, Ian, and guess what…I’m pretty fucking angry right now.”

Adam managed to get his shirt off of him, and he moved on to his pants. As he pulled those off, Ian was able to slide across the floor and grab his phone. He unlocked it and typed in the letters “M-I,” then pressed call and hoped for the best.

Mickey was watching some stupid show with Mandy when his phone rang. Remembering what had happened earlier that evening, he immediately grabbed it and saw Ian’s name flash across the screen.

He pressed answer, “Ian? Ian, are you okay?”

He could hear a struggle happening through the line and Ian’s ragged voice, “Please don’t, Adam…please…please stop…Mi…Mick, please help me.”

“Okay, okay, Ian…just hold on, okay? I’ll get help on the way as soon as I can.”

He immediately hung up the phone and tried to think of who he could call as he panicked. He thought about calling Geneva or Ash, but he didn’t know if they had his address. There was one person he knew who did, though, and he immediately dialed her number.

“Milkovich? What’re you doing calling this late? Everything okay?”

Underneath Mary’s usual brusque tone was an air of genuine concern, and Mickey hoped she’d be able to help, “Mary, I need Gallagher’s address.”

There was hesitation on the other end of the line, “Milkovich, I’m not supposed to share employee information.”

The desperation in his voice increased, “I know, Mary, but please…just this once…he just called me, and it sounds bad…really bad. I’ve gotta…please, Mary…”

He heard a heavy sigh, then a few moments later, she said, “2417 W. Huron St., and Milkovich?”

“Yeah?”

“Text or call me after you swoop in to save the day, okay?”

“Will do. Thanks, Mary.”

He hung up the phone and immediately pulled up the Uber app on his phone. Luckily, there was an available car 2 minutes away, and he hurriedly slipped his shoes on.

He didn’t even have to explain where he was going to Mandy as he turned to look at her, and she nodded, “Go, Mick.”

He bolted out the door and down the stairs and got in the waiting car.

“Listen,” he told the driver, “I’ve got a friend that’s in a really bad situation right now, and I swear to you I will tip you an extra $20 if you can get me to his house in 5 minutes or less.”

The driver nodded, then sped off towards the destination. Mickey was impressed that a Prius could move as quickly as this one was.

The driver came to a screeching halt outside the house, and as Mickey was getting out of the car, the driver asked, “Do you need me to wait?”

Not knowing what he was walking into, Mickey hesitantly nodded, “If we’re not out in 10 minutes, then go.”

The driver nodded, and Mickey cautiously ran towards the house. The door was unlocked, and he slipped inside. He could hear sounds coming from upstairs, so he silently but quickly slipped up the stairs and moved towards the sounds.

When he arrived at the bedroom door, the image in front of him made him see red. Ian was still conscious, but blood was marring his face, and Mickey could already see angry bruises on his torso and arms. He had been stripped down to his boxers, and Adam was trying to pull those down his legs.

Mickey immediately jumped into action and ripped Adam off of Ian. Adam turned in surprise and managed to sneer, “Oh, isn’t this precious? Low life thug come to save his bipolar prince.”

Those were the last words he spoke right before Mickey punched him in the nose. As he grabbed his nose, Mickey punched him in the stomach and in the groin, causing him to hit the floor. Once he was down, Mickey started kicking and kicking and kicking.

A ragged voice was the only thing that made it through his anger as he heard, “Mick…”

A flashback to a night and another abusive asshole beating someone he cared about and how that had turned out, and he stopped himself from kicking Adam anymore. Adam was unconscious, but was luckily (or unluckily) still alive, and Mickey turned his attention to Ian. He slid across their bed until he was face to face with Ian.

He lightly tapped his cheek, “Hey, E? Gallagher, I need you to open your eyes for me. Can you do that?”

Ian cracked one eye open, and Mickey smiled in relief, “Hey, there he is.”

Ian tried to smile, but it hurt, along with everything else in his body. Mickey looked at his body, then back at his face, “Think you can walk for me? There’s an Uber outside waiting for us.”

Ian looked fearful, “Adam?”

Mickey gestured to the middle of the bedroom, “Currently incapacitated. Tell you what, why don’t you tell me what drawers and which side of the closet are yours, and we’ll toss some clothes into a bag. Oh! And your meds. Where are those?”

Ian pointed, “Bathroom, left side of the sink.”

Mickey nodded and started there, grabbing any and all bottles and medicine organizers he saw before coming back to the bedroom.

“Got a backpack or duffel bag or anything?”

Ian barely nodded and pointed, “Left side of the closet is mine…ow…old army duffel bag on the floor.”

Mickey nodded and went to the closet, found the bag where Ian said it was and grabbed a bunch of clothes that were hanging up and stuffed them in the bag.

“Drawers?”

Ian turned his eyes towards the dresser that was across from the bed, “Top 3.”

Mickey went over and opened the drawers, clearing most of them out and adding them to the bag. He closed the duffel, then turned his attention back to Ian. He set the bag by the door, keeping an eye on Adam for any movement. He sat on the bed next to Ian and reached for his hand, “Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to do this part, tough guy. Can you use my shoulder to pull yourself up? I can support you the rest of the way.”

Ian nodded with a determined look on his face. Mickey put his hand on his shoulder and held it there as Ian squeezed it and grunted through the pain as he sat up. Mickey immediately wrapped his arm around Ian and helped him stand. He supported him over to the bedroom door and grabbed Ian’s duffel to sling over his shoulder. He helped him down the stairs and helped him slip some shoes on and out to the still (thankfully) waiting car. It was a struggle to get Ian into the car, and once they were both in, he leaned over and put his head on Mickey’s shoulder.

“Does he need to go to a hospital?” the Uber driver asked.

Ian shook his head, and Mickey said, “Just take us back to the place where you picked me up from.”

The driver nodded, but this time, he didn’t rush, fully aware that the man in the backseat was injured and not wanting to add to the pain he was obviously in.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at Mickey’s apartment, and Mickey helped Ian out and grabbed his bag.

By this point, Ian was more aware of just how much pain he was in, and he was wincing with every step. Mickey looked up at the 3^rd floor and back at Ian.

“Our building doesn’t have an elevator,” Mickey said apologetically, “and the apartment is on the 3^rd floor. Think you can make it?”

Ian closed his eyes and nodded, then opened them, and Mickey felt a wave of sympathy at the pleading look in his eyes, “Help me?”

Mickey smiled and nodded, “Of course, Gallagher. C’mere.”

They adopted the same position they’d been in when Mickey helped Ian out to the car. It was slow going, and Mickey could tell the pain was really starting to sink in for Ian the closer they got to the 3^rd floor.

“Just a few more steps, and we’ve got it.”

Ian nodded and gritted his teeth through the pain until finally, they were at Mickey’s door. He opened it, and Ian hobbled into the entryway. Mickey supported him to the living room, and he was a little surprised to see that Mandy was still up. She took one look at Ian’s injuries and gasped sharply, no doubt remembering what it was like to be on the receiving end of similar ones.

She shook herself out of it and asked Mickey, “What do you need?”

Mickey helped settle Ian on the couch and said, “Ice packs, antiseptic, cotton balls, ibuprofen, gauze. Do you still have any painkillers from when you had your wisdom teeth taken out a few months back?”

Mandy nodded, “I’ll grab all that and be right back.”

Mickey helped Ian lay down on the couch, putting a pillow under his head.

The look in Ian’s eyes was full of gratitude and vulnerability as he looked at Mickey and croaked out, “You didn’t have to.”

Mickey shook his head, “Of course I did.”

Ian smiled and shook his head, “You didn’t let me finish. You didn’t have to…but I’m really glad you did. Thank you, Mickey.”

Mickey’s eyes raked over Ian’s face and body, and he closed his eyes briefly, thinking about how it could’ve been so much worse and how thankful he was that it hadn’t been. He opened them and nodded sincerely at Ian, “Anytime, Gallagher…anytime.”

Mandy came back with the supplies Mickey had asked for in her arms. She set them on the floor beside him, and he looked over Ian’s injuries as he decided where to start. His eyes landed on the places where it looked like Ian was bleeding and dabbed a cotton ball with antiseptic.

He looked at Ian apologetically and said, “Afraid this is gonna sting like a bitch, man.”

At the first dab, Ian winced, and Mickey gave a sympathy wince, “Yeah, I know. This’ll just take a minute, though.”

Ian whooshed out a breath at the sting, and Mickey blushed as he asked, “You want me to, uh, blow on it?”

The look on Ian’s face was so open and pleasantly surprised, and Mickey gruffed, “’s something my mom used to do…helps with the sting.”

Ian smiled as best he was able, and he gave a small nod, “Yeah, that’d be, uh, that’d be nice.”

So, that’s what Mickey did. After every dab, he’d blow gently on it, and it was worth how silly he felt doing it to see the relief that briefly spread over Ian’s face when he did.

Next, he held up the gauze, “I dunno if anything’s broken, but he sure did a number on your chest and stomach and back. Does it hurt when you breathe in?”

Ian tried to take a deep breath, and it hurt, but what was really excruciating was when he tried to move anything on his torso. He closed his eyes and bit his lip as he winced in pain.

“Yeah, I’d be willing to bet you’ve got a couple of broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done about those but to wrap them and take it easy.”

Ian sat up with some assistance from Mickey, but as he was starting to wrap them, Mandy walked up.

“Hey, Mick?” she said softly.

Mickey turned to glance at her, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I, I hate to bring this up, but if…if Ian wants to press charges against Adam, we probably need to take pictures of his injuries.”

Mickey turned back to Ian, who looked completely lost and unsure.

Mickey shrugged and gently said, “She’s got a point. Do you…do you think you want to press charges?”

Tears came to Ian’s eyes, and he whispered, “I…I dunno.”

Mickey nodded, “How about this? We can take some pictures now, and then we’ll finish bandaging you up, and you can think about what you want to do later. Is that okay?”

Ian bit his lip and nodded, grateful he didn’t have to make a decision after the night he’d had.

Mickey quickly took pictures of Ian’s arms, his chest, stomach, and back, and his face.

He set the phone down, then turned back with the gauze and a gentle smile on his face, “Now, where were we?”

It took a solid 15-20 minutes to get Ian’s injuries taken care of as best he could. He tried to be as gentle and efficient as he could, not wanting to hurt him any more than he’d already been hurt that night.

After he was done, he put the ice pack in his hand and warned him, “This is gonna be really fucking cold.”

Ian nodded and closed his eyes, and Mickey pressed the ice pack against one eye that was the most swollen. Ian grimaced initially, but as the ice started to numb his face, Mickey noticed Ian’s blinks start to get slower.

“Sleepy?” he asked softly.

Ian opened his eyes and nodded, “Mm-hmm…’s been an exhausting night.”

Mickey couldn’t help but chuckle at Ian’s understatement, “Yeah, Gallagher, I bet it fucking has.”

He took the ice away, “Hey, before you drift off to dreamland, how about you take one of these,” he handed him one of Mandy’s painkillers, “and do you have any night meds or anything you need to take?”

Ian nodded, “They should be in the organizer. Oh, shit, did you get…”

Mickey cut him off, “I got all of it. Lemme grab it for you.”

Mickey went to grab Ian’s medication container and swung through the kitchen to get him a glass of water. When he made his way back to the couch, Ian’s eyes were closed.

Mickey was tempted to let him sleep, but he knew it was probably important for Ian to take his meds. He set the water down on the table next to the couch and gently reached out to lay his hand on Ian’s arm.

Ian’s eyes flew open, and Mickey could see the fear in them before they settled on him. He talked to him in low tones, trying to calm the panic he saw in his face.

“’s just me, Gallagher. Got your meds here for you to take. Can you sit up a little?”

Mickey helped Ian sit up enough to take his medication and the painkiller from Mandy, then helped him settle back into the couch.

Ian seemed to be fighting to stay awake, so Mickey gently rubbed his arm as he murmured, “Get some sleep, Ian. You’re safe now. I’ll make damn sure of that.”

Ian took one final deep breath before his eyes closed, and his breathing evened out. Mickey stayed in his position, kneeling by the couch and lost in thought as he watched Ian. He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up into Mandy’s eyes, which were filled with sympathy and support. Mickey’s emotions felt raw, and he knew they were reflected on his face.

“You, uh, don’t forget to call or text whoever it was you talked to earlier, Mick.”

“Oh, shit,” Mickey said quietly, “thanks for reminding me, Mandy,” he grabbed for his phone, “can you, uh,” he gestured to Ian’s sleeping form, and Mandy nodded.

She opted to sit in their nearby armchair to keep watch over Ian while Mickey made a phone call.

It was nearing midnight, and Mickey thought twice about calling Mary, but he’d promised, so he pressed the call button.

The answer was immediate, “Milkovich, what’s the word?”

Mickey took a deep breath, “I got him, Mary. He’s, uh, he’s here with me. Sleeping right now.”

“How is he?”

“Bruised, swollen, sore.”

Mary sucked in a sharp breath of air, “Where?”

Mickey wiped a hand across his face, “His, uh, his face, arms, chest, stomach, back.”

“Anything broken?”

“I…maybe? He refused to go to a hospital, so I brought him here. Bandaged everything up that I could. Thinking he probably has a couple of broken ribs.”

“You wrap them?”

Mickey nodded, even though Mary couldn’t see him, “Yeah, figured as long as he’s alert and functioning well enough, there’s no point in him having to pay thousands of dollars to get emergency room people to do it.”

Mary sighed, and it sounded like a sigh of relief, “You gonna keep him there with you?”

“Yeah, can’t really move him anywhere else right now.”

There were a few moments of silence, then Mary said, “Both of you take next week off.”

“Mary, you don’t have to…”

“That was a directive, Milkovich, not a request.”

“Okay…thanks, Mary.”

“Thank you, Milkovich. Take good care of our guy, okay? Tell him to let us know how he’s doing when he’s able.”

“Will do.”

Before Mickey could say anything else, Mary had already disconnected the call.

He went back to the living room and saw that Mandy was starting to doze.

Mickey softly called her name, “Mands, why don’t you get some sleep?”

Mandy sleepily opened her eyes, “You need some sleep, too, Mick.”

When Mickey hesitated, she said, “’s not like he can go anywhere. He’ll be right here.”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I know. I just…I wanna be close, you know…just, just in case.”

Mandy smiled softly as her brother and nodded, “I get it. You at least want a pillow and a blanket?”

Mickey nodded, still watching Ian. There were a few moments of silence, then Mickey felt something soft hit him in the head. He looked up to see his pillow on the floor next to him and a blanket thrown on the chair.

He smiled at Mandy, “Thanks, Mandy.”

Mandy sent him a soft smile in return and nodded again, “Get some sleep, Mick.”

She turned and headed to her room, and Mickey turned back to Ian. He considered his options. He could sleep in the armchair, but then he couldn’t watch Ian and make sure he was okay. He ultimately decided to place his pillow on the floor next to the couch and covered himself with the blanket. It was uncomfortable, but it was also worth it for him to be able to open his eyes and see Ian safe right above him.

Chapter Text

Mickey had no idea how much time had passed, but he must’ve fallen asleep as he felt himself jerk awake at the noises coming from the couch above him. He immediately sat up on his knees to check on Ian, who was whimpering and jerking fitfully in his sleep. Mickey could make out, “No, please no, please,” and he knew he had to wake Ian up. He gently placed a hand on his arm, and Ian’s pleas got louder, “Oh, god, please don’t. Please don’t, Adam. Please stop.”

Mickey reached for the small lamp on the table by the couch and flipped it on. Ian’s eyes were wide with fright, and it took a few moments for him to realize he was looking at Mickey.

Mickey laid a soothing hand on his arm and gently smoothed it up and down his arm, “’s okay, Gallagher. ‘s just me, okay? You’re safe.”

Ian collapsed with relief, his body still heavy with emotion, as he reached his arm around Mickey’s waist and buried his face into Mickey’s stomach.

His body heaved with shallow sobs, and Mickey continued smoothing his hand up and down his arm, shushing him all the while.

“I’m here, Ian. You’re okay. You’re here in my apartment, and you’re safe.”

Ian sniffled, and his voice was small when he asked, “No Adam?”

Mickey let out a deep sigh and shook his head, even though Ian couldn’t see him, “No Adam. Not ever again if I have anything to say about it.”

Ian calmed considerably at that and loosened his grip on Mickey’s waist. He pulled back and looked up into Mickey’s kind eyes.

“Better?” Mickey asked.

Ian nodded shyly, then said, “You, uh, you smell good. It’s…comforting…”

Mickey had to chuckle, “I dunno that anyone has ever described the way I smell like that,” he looked down into Ian’s eyes, “but I’m glad it helps.”

Ian gave him a small smile, and Mickey asked, “Wanna try to get some more sleep?”

Ian nodded and started to settle back into the couch and onto the pillow. Mickey turned off the light and laid back down on the floor. There was silence for a few minutes, and then Ian said softly, “Hey, Mickey?”

Mickey responded just as softly, “Yeah? What is it, Gallagher?”

“I…I don’t want you to think I’m not grateful, because I am…believe me, I am, but…”

Mickey waited.

“It’s just…it’s really hard to get comfortable, and I’m sure your floor isn’t comfortable, so could we…do you think we could lay in your bed?”

Mickey had pictured this moment a thousand times before, but it had never begun with Ian being injured from being beaten by his asshole boyfriend.

Mickey took a deep breath and let it out. There were probably lots of reasons why this was a bad idea, but he found it impossible to say anything but, “Yeah, Gallagher, lemme help you up.”

He squatted down and placed Ian’s hand on one shoulder, then his other hand on his other shoulder and held them in place, “Okay, hold on, on 3. 1…2…3,” Mickey stood up, helping Ian to stand up as he did. They stood still for a minute as Ian caught his breath and recovered from the effort it had taken to stand up.

Mickey moved around to put his arm around Ian’s back to support him, and they hobbled into Mickey’s bedroom. He walked Ian over to the opposite side of the bed from where he normally slept and helped him get settled and comfortable against some extra pillows he found.

Mickey was used to sleeping in the nude, but he recognized that was not happening tonight. He undressed down to his boxers and grabbed a tank top from his dresser. He turned around to see Ian’s eyes on him as he moved over to the bed. He pulled back the covers and slid into bed next to him, reaching for the lamp on his bedside table to turn it off.

Mickey got settled in the position he normally slept in, which was facing Ian apparently as his eyes locked on Ian’s after he laid his head down.

Mickey felt his eyes start to slowly blink now that he was in the comfort of his bed, but Ian’s eyes remained wide and locked on his.

“You need anything?” Mickey asked, his voice gruff with exhaustion.

Ian shook his head.

“Water? Ice? I don’t think you can take any more pain medication yet.”

Again, Ian shook his head.

“You just gonna watch me sleep, then?”

In the dark, Mickey couldn’t see it, but Ian started to blush.

A few moments of silence followed, and just when Mickey was almost asleep and thought Ian might be doing the same thing, he heard Ian whisper, “Why’d you do it?”

“Why’d I do what?” Mickey murmured sleepily.

“Why’d you come? Why’d you save me?”

Mickey swallowed, “I care ‘bout you, Gallagher. Wasn’t gonna let that dipshit hurt you. Woulda been over there faster if I’d known your address.”

A grin threatened to overtake Ian’s face, stopped only by how much it hurt when he tried, “You…care…about me?”

Mickey was almost asleep as he replied, “Mmmph…been trying to tell you that...show you that.”

“Hey, Mickey?” Ian’s voice was a quiet whisper as Mickey felt himself start to drift.

“Mmm?”

“I…I care about you, too.”

There was no response, and honestly, Ian hadn’t expected one, as Mickey was claimed by sleep.

The next morning, Mickey woke up and was immediately aware that there was a body lying next to him in his bed. He cracked one eye open and saw a sleeping, bruised but beautiful redhead, which was also not how he had fantasized about waking up next to Ian, but the important thing was that he was resting and he was safe. Mickey could put his fantasies on the back burner for now.

Mickey tried to move but noticed that Ian’s hand was holding on to his wrist. He hadn’t woken up again after they had moved from the living room to Mickey’s bed. Mickey thought (hoped) maybe Ian holding on to him had provided more of a feeling of security and safety, and if it wasn’t for the fact that his bladder was about to explode, he would’ve happily stayed in bed and allowed the redhead to continue holding on to him.

He gently extricated his wrist from Ian’s hold, and when Ian stayed asleep, Mickey quietly crept from his bedroom to the bathroom. As he stood there and pissed, he realized just how exhausted he felt, how tired his body was now that the adrenaline of getting Ian to safety had worn off. After he finished, he tried to stretch his arms and legs out and moved his neck from side to side, trying to loosen it up.

He left the bathroom and wandered out to the kitchen where Mandy was sitting with her coffee mug. She looked up when she heard footsteps, “Hey, where’s Ian?”

Mickey gestured to his room, and Mandy’s eyes grew wide.

“What is wrong with you?!” she hissed, “The man was beaten by his boyfriend last night, and you couldn’t wait to get him into your bed?? Mickey!!!”

“Jesus, Mandy! Stop!” Mickey whisper yelled at her, “It’s not like that, okay? I was sleeping on the floor next to the couch, and he had a nightmare. I woke him up from it, and he said he couldn’t get comfortable and asked if he could sleep in my bed. The fuck was I supposed to do, huh?”

“I don’t know!” Mandy looked sheepish, “Sorry, Mick, I guess I mighta overreacted a little.”

“You think?”

“I’m sorry!”

Just then, they heard sounds coming from Mickey’s bedroom, and Mickey bolted in there with Mandy close on his heels. When they got to his room, they saw Ian trying to prop himself up in bed.

Mickey rushed to his side, “Whoa there, Gallagher, what’re you trying to do?”

“Not piss the bed?” Ian grunted as he tried to sit up on his own.

“Here,” Mickey knelt down slightly to arrange Ian’s arm around his shoulders as he helped him out of bed. They hobbled to the bathroom until Ian was standing in front of the toilet.

“You got it from here?”

Ian smirked at him, “Yeah, having someone hold my cock while I piss is my limit for needing or asking for help.”

Mickey blushed and bit his lip and didn’t say all the things that came to mind as a response for holding Ian’s cock. Ian needed to heal first, that was the priority.

Instead, Mickey cleared his throat and nodded, “After you’re done, I’ll rewrap your bandage, and we can get some ice on your face. Woulda done more last night, but…sleep and rest first, you know?”

Ian nodded, and after a few moments, things got awkward as Mickey realized that his presence in the bathroom was keeping Ian from answering nature’s call.

He blushed when he realized it, then murmured, “Sorry,” before he left back out to the kitchen.

When he got to the kitchen, Mandy noticed his red face and couldn’t help but tease him just a little.

“Why’s your face so red, Mick?”

Mickey buried his head in his hands briefly, then said, “He said something about not needing someone to hold his cock while he pissed, then I said something, then just stood there before I realized I needed to leave so he could piss. Fuck, Mandy…”

Mandy chuckled at the incident, then said, “Okay, Mickey, you gotta get your head straight, okay? Worry about your dick and your feelings later.”

“’s what I’m doing,” Mickey grunted at her, “what I’m trying to do anyway.”

About that time, they heard footsteps slowly heading towards the kitchen, and Mickey jumped into action to grab supplies. Ian appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, and Mandy could tell just from looking at him how much effort it had taken for him to make it from the bathroom to the kitchen.

Mickey set the supplies down on the table and motioned for Ian to come over. He carefully unwrapped his bandages and started to rewrap them, but Ian stopped him.

“It feels better to be able to breathe without that. Can we wait a few minutes before putting a new one on?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, sure, but in the meantime,” he held up a couple of ice packs and handed one to Ian, “I can get one side of your face if you can get the other.”

Ian nodded and slowly lowered himself to one of the kitchen chairs while Mickey arranged one in front of him so he could sit and hold the icepack to the other side of Ian’s face.

Mandy sat awkwardly to the side, feeling like she was intruding.

She waved, “Hey, Ian.”

Ian turned his head slightly and mumbled around the ice packs on either side of his face, “Hey, Mandy. Not really how I’d thought I’d see you again.”

Mandy sent him a comforting smile, “Don’t worry about it. Can I get you anything? I still have a few more painkillers in the medicine cabinet if you need some.”

Ian shook his head, then remembered, “Mmph, I just remembered I need to take my actual meds. Can you get me a cup of water and maybe some toast or something? I can’t take them on an empty stomach.”

Mandy got up, “Of course. Coming right up.”

She moved about the kitchen, getting Ian a cup of water and making him some toast. Meanwhile, Mickey continued to hold the ice pack against Ian’s cheek/eye area. He tried looking everywhere but at Ian because he knew if he looked the redhead in the eyes, he would get distracted and wouldn’t be able to look away from them, but he’d be damned if that’s not what he ended up doing anyway.

He finally made eye contact with Ian, and the expression of open gratitude and vulnerability there roped Mickey in. He couldn’t look away from him, and as they sat there, Mickey couldn’t help but feel laid bare before Ian as he was certain that everything he felt for him was on display in his own eyes.

Ian’s eyes were so welcoming and filled with warmth that Mickey had forgotten anyone else existed besides himself and Ian until a plate was set down on the table, startling them both.

“Sorry about that,” Mandy smirked at both of them, but Mickey was the only one who saw it as Ian blushed and looked away.

After holding the ice packs to Ian’s face for 15 minutes, Mickey took them off and put them back in the freezer, with the intention of icing his face again once the packs were refrozen.

He took his seat in front of Ian again and asked, “Want me to grab your meds while you eat?”

Ian nodded his head and smiled at Mickey, “Please?”

Mickey returned the smile and said, “Yeah, sure thing. Be right back.”

He got up and went over to Ian’s stuff, taking a few minutes to calm his rapidly beating heart before bringing his meds back over to the kitchen.

He set them down next to Ian’s plate, and after Ian took a few bites of toast, he counted out his pills and swallowed them down.

“What are all those?” Mandy asked curiously.

“Mandy!” Mickey hissed at her.

Ian looked at Mickey and smiled before looking back at Mandy, “No, it’s fine. I’ll tell you.”

“These,” Ian held up two pills, “are mood stabilizers. I take one in the morning and two at night because they make me sleepy, and this,” he held up one pill, “is a low dose anti-psychotic. This,” he held up the largest pill of them all, “is Vitamin B.”

He looked back at Mandy and explained, “I have bipolar disorder.”

Mandy nodded and smiled at him, “Yeah, I, uh, I remember hearing something about that before I moved outta the neighborhood.”

Ian chuckled self-deprecatingly, “Definitely not my finest hour, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Do the meds help?” Mandy asked.

Ian nodded, “Mostly. Every now and then, I still need an adjustment. One might not be working as well, or I might have some breakthrough symptoms. But, yeah, I’m pretty much as stable as I get right now.”

Mandy nodded and was quiet for a few moments. Ian felt the side effects coming on as he usually did, which were shaking hands and a little bit of dizziness. He propped his head on his hand and his elbow on the table.

“E? Ian? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Mickey’s panicked voice sounded right beside him, and Ian nodded and tried to give him a reassuring smile, “Side effects of the morning meds. It’ll pass in a few minutes. Just sucks until then.”

Mickey let out a sigh of relief, “Can we get you anything else?”

Ian shook his head, then seemed to remember something, “In the quick exit last night, did you happen to grab my phone?”

Mickey gave him an apologetic look, “I don’t think so. I mainly just grabbed clothes and meds when we left.”

Ian nodded, “I probably need to call Lip and tell him what happened, and I need to figure out where I can stay while I heal.”

Mickey immediately responded, “You can stay here.”

Ian smiled at Mickey, “I can’t do that to you guys, Mick. I’ll figure something out that doesn’t involve me taking over your space.”

“Seriously, Ian, stay here. We have more room here than your brother does in his small ass studio.”

Ian looked at Mickey uncertainly, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Mickey nodded, “yes, you’re staying here.”

Ian bit his lip and tried to keep his smile under wraps, “Okay, but just until I heal and can figure something out.”

Mickey nodded and agreed, but mentally, he made it his own personal mission to help Ian figure anything else out that didn’t end with him going back to Adam.

“Lip? Hey…yeah, I’m okay...for the most part. Something, uh, something happened last night…I’m at Mickey’s. Yeah, he, uh, Adam got really mad. I’m pretty…” Mickey heard Ian’s voice break, “I’m banged up pretty bad, Lip…yeah, uh, swollen face, bruises on my mid-section, some bruises on my arms…I dunno, I just pressed in M-I and hit send…I have no idea how he got my address, Lip. Is that really what you wanna focus on right now?...Nah, you don’t need to come…yeah, he told me I can stay here with them for a little bit while I heal…god, shut up, Lip! ‘m not…’s not like that, especially not right now, jesus!...Okay, I’ll call if I need anything…shit…yeah, me too…k…bye.”

Mandy and Mickey had both been trying not to eavesdrop, but since the doorway from the kitchen to the living room was an open space, it was hard for them to not listen in to Ian’s conversation with his brother.

After he had gotten off the phone with his brother, he came back to the kitchen to give Mickey’s phone back to him. It was then that a wave of exhaustion came over him, and he tried to stretch and yawn, both of which caused him considerable pain.

Mickey asked, “Hey, do you want another pain pill?”

Ian hesitated, then nodded, “Yeah, I think it would help me be able to rest. I’m still exhausted from last night.”

Mickey nodded while Mandy went to retrieve the medication, “Yeah, your body needs to rest. After you take the pill, why don’t you go get back in bed and take a nap?”

Ian gave Mickey a relieved smile, “That sounds like a great idea. Will you, uh, will you come with me?”

Mickey couldn’t help the blush and smile that came to his face, “Yeah, Gallagher, I’ll come in there with you.”

Ian stayed with Mickey and Mandy the entire following week, and Mickey was happy to see his bruises fade a little more each day.

Geneva and Ash were texting both of them non-stop, checking on Ian to see how he was feeling, then texting Mickey to see how he was really feeling. They both sent well wishes from the kids who, they warned them, would be asking questions when they both returned the following week.

Ian and Mickey continued to share a bed, and Ian subconsciously wrapped his fingers around Mickey’s wrist at some point during each night. One was usually up and out of bed before the other, so nothing was ever said about it, but Mickey found it incredibly endearing, and it only deepened the affection and feelings of protectiveness he had for the redhead.

One evening, Mickey volunteered to go get groceries, needing some time outside of the apartment. He didn’t mind having Ian in his space. Truth be told, he enjoyed having him there. He just wasn’t used to being holed up in the same space for more than a few days in a row.

While he was gone, Ian sat on the couch with Mandy, who’d just gotten home from work.

“So, tell me about you,” Ian said, “the last I saw of you was right before I dropped out at the beginning of senior year.”

Mandy nodded and gave him a slight smile, “Well, what followed after that were a slew of waitress jobs and horrible choices in men. I guess you know about Mickey being in prison?” Ian nodded in response, “After that happened, I decided I wanted better for myself, you know? I took a few business courses, enough that I could get a receptionist job. I worked a couple of those, and I was promoted a few months ago to executive assistant to the CEO at Warrior Wave.”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, Mickey mentioned that your boss is Brian, and for that, I have to say I am so sorry.”

Mandy looked at him curiously, “How do you know Brian?”

“Um, that’s where Adam works. He’s the VP.”

Mandy’s eyes grew wide, “Adam? Is your Adam? Dude looks a little like that guy from that show Parks and Rec?”

Ian furrowed his brow, “Yeah…why?”

Mandy’s eyes resembled those of a deer in headlights, “I, um, I don’t know how to tell you this, Ian, but…”

Ian sighed, “Just say it.”

Mandy gave a short nod, “Adam’s been cheating on you with Brian, pretty much every single day.”

Ian looked confused, “How the hell do you know that?”

Mandy shrugged, “I sit right in front of his office. I see all the people who are in and out, and lemme tell you, the walls of his office are not that thick.”

Ian let out a deep sigh, “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? I’d known for a while that there had been other men, but wow…every day, you said?”

Mandy nodded sympathetically, “Yeah…I’m sorry, Ian.”

Ian let out a humorless laugh, “And to think he’s been accusing me of cheating on him…pretty fucking ironic, isn’t it?”

“How did you meet him, anyway?”

18 months ago

Warrior Wave was a fledgling tech company that was starting to take off and make a name for itself. In order to get more publicity, they had partnered with Hopeful Place to do a fundraiser, with the money going to Hopeful Place at the end of the night. It was being held in a ballroom at a fancy hotel, and Ian felt out of place in the thrift store suit he’d managed to find that fit him. He didn’t have enough money to get a new one, and the one he was wearing had looked good enough in the mirror of the fitting room. Next to all the tech employees who were obviously wearing brand new, name brand clothing, he felt like he looked ragged.  

He took a look around the ballroom at the gorgeous decorations, and he felt a thrill of excitement go through him as the donation level on the large screen on one of the walls steadily went up. He loved the work he did at Hopeful Place, and he knew there were a lot of things Mary wanted to do to improve the building and what they could offer the kids.

“Buy you a drink?” a voice came from behind him.

Ian internally rolled his eyes, but when he turned around, he saw that the voice belonged to a man who was much younger than the men who usually tried to hit on him. The man was attractive and had a kind smile, so Ian decided not to completely blow him off just yet.

Instead, he grinned and said, “Pretty sure the first 2 are free,” he held up his drink tickets.

“Ah,” said the handsome stranger, “But what about after that?”  

Ian shrugged, “Don’t usually drink that much.”  

The man held out his hand, “I’m Adam.”  

Ian reached out to shake it, “Ian.”  

“Nice to meet you, Ian. If you won’t let me buy you a drink, can I at least convince you to come with me to the bar so we can use one of our drink tickets at the same time?”  

Ian thought about it for a second, then shrugged, “Yeah, sure, why not?”  

He had spent most of the rest of the evening with Adam, who he had learned was the VP of the company. Adam introduced him to the other managers, who all seemed very generous and genuinely nice. They asked thoughtful questions about the work the shelter did and what the funds would be used for.  

After 2 drinks, Ian was starting to feel the effects and knew he had to switch to water. He went over to the bar to get a bottle of water, and he heard Adam’s voice next to him.

“Gonna let me buy you that drink now?”  

Ian smiled and shook his head, holding up the bottle of water the bartender had handed him, “Need to hydrate.”  

Adam smiled and moved in closer, “Would you let me buy you a drink another time?”  

He had been so charming that Ian had given him a thousand-watt smile and said, “Yeah, I’d like that.”  

They had gone out for drinks a couple of times after that, which had progressed to dinner dates, which had progressed to Ian staying the night at Adam’s house and having breakfast the next morning.  

Present Day  

“He told me 4 months later that he wanted us to be exclusive, and I moved in with him a few months after that,” Ian finished telling the story of how he met Adam.

Mandy nodded, then asked, “When did the, uh, you know,” she gestured to his face and upper body, “start?”

Ian sighed, “The first time he got really mad, like furious, was maybe 2 months after I’d moved in. The company had a money loss, and he came home fuming. He snapped at everything I said, and when I asked him what was wrong, he started breaking anything within reach. I…I grabbed my phone and took the L to Lip’s apartment. The next day, Adam called and apologized for losing his temper. That happened a couple more times, then there was the time when I was headed for a low period, but I didn’t know it yet. All I knew was that I was super moody and miserable. I was an asshole to him, and he slapped me across the face for it. A couple of days later, it felt too exhausting to move, and he set my meds on the bedside table beside me, then left to go fuck someone else, I assume anyway. When he got back, he told me he was sorry I felt like shit, but he needed to get his needs met, too.”

“But,” Ian continued, “when I came out of that low period, he was still there, you know? Still paying for my meds, still wanted to be with me, didn’t want me to leave.” 

Mandy nodded in understanding, “It’s hard to leave something that’s consistent, even when it’s shitty.”

Ian sighed, “Exactly.”

“So,” Mandy paused, “what now?”

Ian shrugged, “Now, I figure out what life looks like from here. You know, it’s funny how he always accused me of cheating, but he was the one who was doing it the whole time.”

Mandy shrugged, “That’s a deflection technique. Accuse your partner of the thing you’re actually doing, then they’re so busy trying to prove they’re not doing it, they completely miss the fact that you are.”

Ian looked at her, “How do you know that?”

Mandy sighed, “Let’s just say that John wasn’t the first abusive relationship I was in.”

Ian pondered her words for a few moments in silence, “Did you…did you ever have difficulty recognizing that he was abusive?”

Mandy shrugged, “Sure. When you’re in that kind of situation, you’ll find a way to rationalize anything so you don’t have to face the truth.”

“Which is?”

“That you have no control over what they’re doing or how they’re treating you. That their anger isn’t your fault. That you deserve better.”

A slight sheen of tears appeared in Ian’s eyes, “How, uh, how do you start to face those? When do you start believing them?”

Mandy reached over to place her hand on top of Ian’s, “You start listening to the people around you who love you and care about you. And going to see a therapist might not hurt, either. That’s what I did, and even though I haven’t been in a serious relationship since John, I’m okay with that because I value myself too much to settle for less.”

“It’s,” Ian’s voice broke on a slight sob, “it’s really hard to believe that, Mandy. I’ve been…Adam’s right…I’m a handful to deal with. I’m bipolar, and I have mood swings, and they can be unpredictable. The only good things I have to offer people are the benefit of my past experience and my dick, apparently.”

Mandy squeezed his hand, and he looked up at her, “Ian, I know it’s hard to break those negative thoughts about yourself, and you’re not going to start believing the different things people tell you until you do. But, I speak for myself, and I’m sure Mickey and your family, too, when I say that we will tell you what an amazing person you are every single day until you start believing it.”

Ian bowed his head, and Mandy heard him start to sniffle. She cautiously scooted over next to him and slowly reached out to wrap her arms around his neck in a hug. That broke the dam, and he began sobbing in earnest. It was about that time that she heard the front door open, and lots of bags shuffling together.

The bags paused and went silent, and Mandy heard Mickey’s voice, “What the…Mandy, what happened?”

Mandy kept her arms wrapped around Ian’s neck, and she said, “Just trying to get this guy to believe he’s as amazing as we all think he is.”

A few beats of silence, and then Ian felt a second pair of arms encircle his neck with Mickey’s head on top of his.

“Of course he is.”

Ian closed his eyes as the tears dripped down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but this felt like the start of the healing process he’d desperately needed for a long time.

That night, Ian and Mickey both undressed for bed and slid in on their respective sides.

“Hey,” Mickey said, “your bruises really are looking a lot better. You seem to be moving a little easier. How’re you feeling?”

Ian smiled, “Ribs are still a little sore, but I feel like everything else is finally fading and feeling better. I owe that all to you, Mickey.”

Mickey blushed and shook his head, “Nah, man, just using my knowledge of how to deal with bruises and broken ribs to help out. Not a big thing.”

“Mickey,” the sincerity in Ian’s voice forced Mickey to make eye contact with him, and he was taken aback by the depths of emotion he saw in Ian’s eyes.

“Mickey,” Ian repeated, almost in a whisper, “it’s been everything.”

Mickey felt himself unconsciously scoot closer to Ian’s body in the bed, and Ian looked between Mickey’s eyes and his mouth, licking his lips as he did. Finally, their mouths met softly, tentatively, and they pulled back just slightly, breathing the other in.

“Mickey…”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah…yes…,” before closing the distance again, this time kissing Ian with more intent and force. Ian pressed his mouth against Mickey’s with just as much force, and the kiss quickly got out of control until Ian yelped in pain.

Mickey immediately backed away from him and started apologizing, “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ian. Are you okay?”

Ian smiled at Mickey, “Yeah, Mick, I’m fine…better than, actually. Just hit a spot that’s still tender, I guess.”

Ian started to move back in to kiss Mickey again, but Mickey stopped him, “I…fuck…I want this, Gallagher, believe me, I do, but not like this.”

Ian immediately felt tears well in his eyes, “You…you don’t want me?”

Mickey was quick to reassure him, “Jesus…of course I do, but not like this…not when you’re still in pain and trying to heal, okay?”

There wasn’t a response from Ian, and Mickey reached over to grab his hand and placed it on the front of his boxers, letting Ian feel just how much he wanted this.

“Feel that?

Ian nodded as he cupped his hand and gently palmed Mickey’s erection through his boxers.

“That’s how much I want this.”

Ian leaned in to kiss Mickey again, continuing to press against him, “I can get you,” he breathed against Mickey’s mouth.

Mickey moaned and lost himself in the feeling of Ian’s mouth and his hand against him through his boxers.

After a few moments, though, he pulled back and shook his head, “I want this to happen when we can both enjoy it, okay?”

Ian blinked at him, “Are you…are you sure?”

Mickey smirked, “No…but yeah…yeah, ‘m sure.”

Ian slowly took his hand back, and Mickey leaned in to kiss him one more time.

“Swear to you, Gallagher…Ian…when you’re back to 100%, if you still want this, I’m there, okay? I’m in.”

Ian nodded and gave him a small smile, “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay,” Mickey returned his smile, “let’s get some sleep, yeah?”

Ian nodded shyly, and Mickey settled into his usual sleep position, closing his eyes and smiling to himself as he felt Ian’s fingers encircle his wrist. He sighed contentedly, thinking to himself how happy he was, knowing that Ian wanted him, too, as he fell asleep.

The next morning when he woke up, however, Ian wasn’t there.

Chapter Text

Mickey tried not to panic. There were a dozen possibilities for where Ian could be, and just because he wasn’t still in bed didn’t mean…Mickey shook off the rest of that thought.

He took a deep breath, then got up and ventured out of his bedroom. He stopped at the bathroom to piss before heading to the kitchen, hoping he’d find Ian there.

He had no such luck as he walked in and saw only Mandy sitting there sipping coffee.

“Hey,” Mickey greeted her, “you see Ian this morning?”

Mandy shrugged, “Briefly. He was dressed and headed to the door when I came out. He was carrying that army bag with him, looked like it had his clothes in it. I asked him where he was going, but he either didn’t hear me, or he ignored me, and headed out the door.”

Mickey dropped to one of the kitchen chairs and scrubbed his hands over his face, “Fuck…”

Mandy looked at him sympathetically, “What happened, Mick?”

“He…I…we…fuck…we kissed last night, and I stopped it before it went further.”

“What? Why?”

“While we were kissing, he, like, yelped like he was in pain, so I pulled back, told him I didn’t want it to happen like that, that I wanted to wait til he was healed before things went further.”

Mandy didn’t say anything in response, but the look on her face was pained.

“What?” Mickey asked, “what is it?”

Mandy let out a deep breath, “He, uh, while you were at the store last night, he told me he felt like there were only 2 things he could do well. One was using his ‘fucked up past’ to help people, and the other was sex, and well, you turned that down last night, Mick.”

“Fuck…not because I didn’t fucking want to, Mandy! Because his ribs are still hurting, and he’s still bruised, and I didn’t want to have to constantly worry about whether he was in pain!”

“I know…I know that, Mick, okay? But he may not have connected that. He may have just heard you say no and thought you were rejecting him. You’ve gotta understand…Ian’s self-esteem has been beaten down pretty low. He doesn’t feel like there’s a lot about him that’s good right now. Telling him once last night that the people in his life are going to make sure he knows how amazing he is isn’t enough to break that yet.”

Mickey sighed deeply, “What do I do, Mandy?”

Mandy shrugged, “I don’t know, Mickey. You could wait and see if he comes back later today, I guess? Or, wait, didn’t he call Lip from your phone? You could call him, see if he’s heard anything from Ian.”

“I dunno, Mandy. You don’t think that’s a little weird?”

Mandy shrugged, “How much do you want to know where he is?”

Mickey sighed, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll call him after I get some coffee.”

He poured himself some coffee, then sat down at the table with Mandy.

“So,” Mandy smirked at him, “how was it? As good as you hoped it’d be?”

Even though Mickey was worried about where Ian was and why he’d left with his duffel bag, he couldn’t help but smile as he said, “Even better, Mands.”

Mandy smiled at her brother’s happiness and hoped they could solve the mystery of Ian’s whereabouts.

After Mickey finished his coffee, he took a deep breath and opened his phone to dial the most recent outgoing number. He listened as it rang and rang, but no one answered, and it went to voicemail.

Mickey almost hung up, but he decided to leave a message, knowing that if he didn’t, he definitely wouldn’t get any closer to finding Ian.

“Uh, hey…Lip…it’s Mickey. I was just wondering if you’ve seen or heard from Ian. When I got up this morning, he wasn’t here, and I’m just worried…fuck…can you just give me a call back or text me and let me know if you’ve heard from him? Thanks.”

Mickey ended the call and sat back in the kitchen chair. There was really nothing else he could do but wait…wait and mentally go back over everything from the previous night.

Meanwhile...

A buzzing sound woke Lip from his restful sleep, and he stumbled over to the intercom by his door.

“Fuck…what??”

“Hey, it’s Ian. Wondering if you want to go with me to the laundromat.”

“The fuck? Jesus, c’mon up.”

He pressed the button to let Ian up, and a few moments later, there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find Ian standing there with his army bag that looked to be full of clothes.

“What’re you doing up this early, man?”

Ian chuckled, “It’s 9:30 on a Saturday, Lip. Not that early. Also, I want to get to the laundromat before it gets full. I’ve gotta wash some clothes.”

Lip rubbed his eyes, “Yeah, let me grab mine, and we’ll go to the place I normally go to.”

He grabbed his laundry and put it in a bag, then headed to the door with Ian, “Just for this, you fucking owe me coffee.”

Ian chuckled, “Let’s get to the place, then I’ll get you coffee.”

They headed out and made it to the laundromat when it was still relatively empty. They exchanged cash for quarters and put their clothes in the washing machines. They sat down to wait, and Lip looked pointedly at Ian, “Coffee?”

Ian sighed and rolled his eyes, “I’ll be right back. Just keep an eye on our washers, okay?”

Lip nodded, and Ian headed out of the laundromat in search of coffee.

While he was gone, Lip felt his phone vibrate, and he pulled it out to look at the number. He didn’t recognize it, and it was always impossible to hear anyone over the sound of the washing machines anyway, so he let it go to voicemail. He shrugged to himself. It was probably a telemarketer anyway, and if it wasn’t, whoever it was could leave a message.

Just when he was starting to get concerned that Ian had gotten lost on his way to or from getting coffee, he walked through the door, trying to balance 2 coffees and a bag of food.

He made his way over to Lip and plopped down in a seat, handing Lip one of the coffees, “Here’s some coffee,” he opened the bag, “and here’s a breakfast sandwich so your mouth will be occupied while I talk to you.”

Lip’s interest was piqued. He took a bite of the breakfast sandwich and managed to ask, “Talk to me about what?” showing that he could still talk, even with food in his mouth.

Ian rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, “I mighta…kissed Mickey last night.”

Lip’s face brightened as he swallowed a bite of his food, “Fucking finally!! So, why are you here with me doing laundry and not still with him? Oh…was it bad?”

Ian glared at him, “Fuck you…no, it wasn’t bad. It was…amazing…” he smiled softly to himself, remembering the feel of Mickey’s lips against his.

“So, then, I repeat…why are you here with me instead of there with him?”

Ian shrugged, “I really did need to do laundry…”

“But?”

Ian sighed, “But, he also kind of rejected me last night, and I didn’t know how to face him this morning.”

Lip looked confused, “What happened exactly?”

“We started kissing, and we were both into it, then one of us must’ve hit a spot where I’m still sore, so I groaned, and he stopped. Said he didn’t want it like this.”

“Ian, he didn’t want to hurt you. There’s nothing sexy about hooking up with someone when they’re in pain.”

“I…yeah, I guess…I even offered to, you know, take care of him…”

“Jesus, get that image out of my head,” Lip interjected.

Ian shot him a glare, “But he turned it down.”

“Did he give a reason?”

“Said he wanted to wait til we could both enjoy it.”

“Ian,” Lip said patiently, “I know you’re in the midst of leaving a really awful relationship, but…” he paused when there was no response from Ian, “You are officially done with Adam, right?”

Ian groaned, “Yes, or at least, I wanna be. I just…I really don’t wanna have to see him again, Lip, but I still have a bunch of stuff there, like my phone and my wallet.”

“I can come with you to get them, if you want.”

Ian sighed, “Need to finish my laundry and drop it off first, I guess.”

“Oh, yeah, speaking of, what’d you tell Mickey when you left this morning?”

Ian shrugged, “Nothing. I tried a little to wake him up, but he didn’t budge, so I just grabbed my stuff and…,” he motioned ‘leaving’ with his hand.

“Ian! Fuck!”

“What?” Ian asked.

“He has no idea where you are and is probably freaking out. When we get done here, you need to use my phone to call him so he doesn’t lose his shit worrying about where you are.”

Ian shrugged, “When we get done here, aren’t we just heading back there anyway so I can drop my stuff off? I’ll just explain then. It’ll be fine.”

Lip looked at him in disbelief, “Somehow, I doubt that, but okay…”

They sat in silence for a few moments, then Lip smirked and asked, “So, it was amazing?”

Ian blushed and grinned, “You really wanna know?”

Lip nodded, “I can do without the description of the reaction of body parts, but yeah, man, I wanna know.”

Ian’s grin grew wider, “It was even better than I thought it would be. It was perfect. God, I think I could kiss him for hours.”

Lip smiled as his brother’s obvious happiness from kissing Mickey, but then Ian’s face became anxious.

“What’s with your face, E?”

“Fuck…what if I fuck it up, Lip? You’re right, I am just getting out of a pretty long term relationship that I’ve got a lot of baggage from. I don’t want to put that on Mickey. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Lip reached over and put his hand on Ian’s shoulder, “You know I don’t mind listening to what’s going on in your head, E, but I think these are conversations you need to be having with Mickey.”

Ian sighed, “Yeah…I know…”

“So,” Lip held up his coffee cup, “let’s finish these, put our clothes in the dryer, we’ll go drop them at Mickey’s, then you and I can go grab your stuff from Adam’s house. Sound good?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

An hour or so later, their clothes were finally dry, so Lip shoved all his back into his laundry bag, but Ian took the time to fold his and stack them in his duffel.

While he folded, Lip stood there watching and smirking, “Stalling?”

Ian rolled his eyes, “No, I just don’t want all my clothes to look like they’ve been crumpled up considering I’m planning to go back to work on Monday.”

“Okay…,” Lip said, not believing Ian’s reasoning for a second.

Finally, he was done folding his clothes, and the two men walked out of the laundromat. Since Mickey and Mandy’s apartment was only a few stops away on the L, they hauled their stuff to the nearest stop and waited on the train.

They got on, and the closer they got to Mickey and Mandy’s place, the more nervous Ian became. What if Mickey was mad at him for leaving this morning? Looking back, Ian hadn’t intended to leave without letting either one of them know he was going, but when he woke up, his mind was in a little bit of panic mode. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to come next for him and Mickey or how to navigate the end of his relationship with Adam or whether Mickey had really meant what he said the previous night or if he was just trying to let Ian down easy.

The ding of the bell and the announcement of the upcoming stop broke him from his thoughts, and he got up, signaling to Lip that this was their stop. They got off the train and walked a few blocks to the apartment building. Ian stood outside, looking up at the 3^rd floor until Lip nudged him.

“It’ll be fine. You’ll ring the buzzer, he’ll answer, you’ll explain, we’ll drop off our stuff, go get the rest of yours, and It’ll. Be. Fine. Okay?”

Ian took a deep breath and pressed the button for Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. Almost immediately, Mickey’s voice came on, sounding of panic and desperation, “Hello?? Ian, ‘s that you??”

Ian pressed the intercom button, “Yeah, Mick, it’s me and Lip. Can you buzz us up?”

The buzzer sounded, and just as Ian was about to open the door, a voice stopped him.

“Well, isn’t this adorable? I should’ve guessed this is where you’d be.”

Ian froze in his steps and turned around.

Adam.

Ian gulped at the sight of his (hopefully soon to be officially) ex-boyfriend, and he was struck silent for a moment.

Adam pushed away from his car, “I’ve given you a week to play house, Ian. Time to come home now.”

Lip stepped in front of his brother and Adam, “Leave him the fuck alone. You’ve done enough.”

Adam stepped directly into Lip’s personal space and lowered his voice, “Your brother is perfectly capable of speaking for himself…aren’t you, Ian?”

Ian took a deep breath and steeled his resolve, “We’re done, Adam. So, why don’t you just go?”

Adam grinned at him lasciviously, “Ooh, look who grew some balls. I have to say hard to get looks good on you, Ian.”

“I’m not playing ‘hard to get,’ Adam,” Ian’s ire started to grow, “I’m done being hurt by you. I’m done with you controlling me.”

Adam rolled his eyes as he pushed Lip to the side and stepped into Ian’s personal space, lowering his voice as he did, “C’mon, sweetheart, are you really telling me you’re giving up a nice house, a comfortable bed, and having all your needs taken care of…for this?” Adam’s voice dripped with disdain on the last word.

“Adam…,” Ian felt his resolve start to weaken ever so slightly, but then he thought about everything he’d endured over the past year, and he took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. You’ve done too much damage to this relationship, Adam, too much damage to me, and I. Am. Done.”

Adam chuckled darkly, “What if I press charges against your new boy, Ian? Why, he stormed into my home and hit me, knocked me unconscious. I’d be well within my right to do so.”

Ian let out a humorless chuckle before meeting Adam’s eyes, “You even think of doing that, and I’m going to the cops to press charges against you for abuse.”

Adam looked at Ian in disbelief, “They’ll never believe you.”

Another voice added to the situation outside the apartment, “Good thing I took pictures of what he looked like last weekend, then, isn’t it?”

Ian’s ears perked up at the sound, and he turned and couldn’t help himself from smiling, “Mickey…”

Mickey cracked his knuckles, “We got a problem here, gentlemen?”

Adam rolled his eyes but stood his ground, “Oh, great.”

He made eye contact with Mickey, “The only problem we have here is that you have something of mine. I’ve come to get it back.”

Mickey took a couple of steps forward, “Sounds like he, uh, doesn’t wanna go with you, so why don’t you just leave before this gets ugly?”

Adam looked at Mickey and Lip and saw the looks in their eyes. He sighed, then started backing up, “Okay…okay, I’ll go,” he made it to his car, “but just one more thing.”

Ian rolled his eyes, “What is it?”

Adam reached into the rolled down passenger side window to grab something, and he held up Ian’s wallet, his phone, and his bag of newly refilled medications.

“Don’t you want these?”

Ian held out his hand, “Give them here.”

Adam grinned wickedly at him, “Why don’t you come get them from me?”

Ian open and closed his fists and gritted out, “Give me my things, Adam.”

“I’ll give them to you in exchange for an apology from your new friend here and a farewell kiss from you.”

Ian looked at him in disbelief, and Adam shrugged, “I think that’s more than fair.”

Ian turned and looked helplessly at Mickey, who had a murderous glint in his eye. The two of them looked at each other for a few moments before Mickey shook his head, “Don’t do it, Ian…please don’t.”

Ian sighed, then looked at Lip. The two of them had what seemed to be a non-verbal conversation, and Lip gave a single curt nod before Ian turned back to Adam, “Okay, fine,” before walking over to him and reaching for the items.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Adam teased, “kiss first.”

Ian started to lean in, but before their mouths touched, Ian heard the items being snatched from Adam’s hand. He pulled back just before Adam’s mouth landed on his and said, “Here’s the only farewell kiss you’re getting, you fucking asshole.”

He reared his arm back and let it fly, punching Adam directly in the mouth. Adam immediately covered his face with his hands and started crying out in pain.

“That’s for the first time you ever hit me,” Ian said, then punched him in the stomach, “that’s for everything hurtful you’ve ever said to me,” then he kneed him in the groin as hard as he could, “and that’s for the past year that I wasted being with you.”

Adam doubled over and curled up on the sidewalk in the fetal position. Ian felt a hand on his arm, and he turned to see that it was Lip. He gave Ian a nod and a smile, then gestured to the door of the apartment building.

Ian took a few steps back from Adam, but then Mickey stepped in until he was standing directly over Adam.

“You know what, you piece of shit? I am sorry…’m sorry I didn’t kick the shit out of you when I first met you,” Mickey leaned over and spat on him, “now get the fuck away from where I live, and stay the fuck away from me or Ian or Lip, for that matter, or this will seem mild compared to what we’ll do. Got it?”

Even in his pain, Adam managed to nod, and Mickey straightened back up and walked back over to the door to the building. He pressed the buzzer for his and Mandy’s apartment, and the responding buzz came immediately to open the door to the building. Mickey opened it, then turned back to Lip and Ian, “Coming?”

Ian grinned at Mickey before grabbing his duffel bag, and he and Lip followed Mickey in the door and up the stairs.

As soon as they were inside the apartment, Mandy barreled into Ian in the hallway and immediately started raining her fists down on his chest.

“Whoa…hey…ow…OW, Mandy, what the fuck?”

Mandy stopped hitting him long enough to say, “I’m sorry, but fuck, Ian, where’d you go? We had no idea where you were, when you were coming back, if you were coming back. We were worried!”

“Fuck…I know, I’m sorry, okay?” he held up his bag, “just went to do some laundry.”

Mandy cocked an eyebrow at him, “We have laundry downstairs. Wanna try that excuse again?”

“Mandy,” Mickey shot her a glare, “cool it,” then he turned to Ian, “why don’t we go talk, Gallagher?”

Ian took a deep breath and nodded, looking between Lip and Mandy before following after Mickey.

Mickey held the door open to his bedroom until Ian walked in, and he shut it behind him. Ian sat back against the side of the bed and watched while Mickey mentally went back and forth with whatever thoughts he was having.

Finally, he sighed and crossed his arms and looked at Ian, “Talk.”

“I…what…what do you want me to say?”

“Fine, I’ll start. We kissed last night. Multiple times. One of us hit a spot on your body that’s still sore, and I pulled back because, Ian?” Mickey waited until Ian made eye contact with him, “the absolute last thing I would ever want to do is cause you pain, got it?”

Ian blushed and nodded, averting his eyes a little.

“I put your fucking hand on my dick, man, let you feel how fucking hard just kissing you made me. I told you not to worry about taking care of me because when…and I do mean when…this happens, I don’t want you sitting on the sidelines, Gallagher. I want you in the game with me!”

Ian didn’t say anything in response, and suddenly, Mickey’s insecurities started to get the best of him, “Unless…you...don’t want this,” Mickey swallowed his anxiety down as he asked, “Do you? Want this, I mean?”

Ian looked up at Mickey, and it was the most determined Mickey had ever seen him look. He pushed off the bed and stalked over to Mickey, crowding him against his bedroom door. He placed one hand behind Mickey’s head, almost cradling it as he looked in Mickey’s eyes one more time, then leaned down and softly pressed their lips together once, twice, three times.

A sigh sounded in the back of Mickey’s throat, and the softness of the kiss gave way to something much more powerful and passionate as Ian proceeded to devour Mickey’s mouth and press his body against his against the door.

Mickey moaned into his mouth as he felt Ian harden against him. God, was it possible to just exist in this space forever? Mickey felt all the nerve endings in his body light up at the feel of Ian against him, the deliciousness of having his body right up against his, imagining what it would be like for them to be horizontal, Ian’s body above his, moving inside him.

Mickey reached for Ian’s shirt and slid his hands underneath, wanting to feel skin on skin.

Ian moaned at the feel of Mickey’s hands on his skin, but when they tightened ever so slightly, he groaned in pain.

Mickey tried to pull back the way he had the previous night, but since there was no space between him and the door, the only thing he could do was tear his mouth from Ian’s.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, panting as he tried to catch his breath, “This is what I mean, Gallagher. This is why I wanted to wait. You’re still healing.”

Ian was panting, too, but after what had just happened, he couldn’t help but beam at Mickey, “Does that answer your question about whether I want this…with you?”

Mickey returned his smile as he bit his lip, “I dunno. I think I might need you to convince me a little more.”

Ian leaned down and smiled against Mickey’s mouth as he nodded, “Yeah…I can do that,” before pressing forward to kiss him again.

Lip and Mandy stood awkwardly, waiting to see if Ian and Mickey would come out from Mickey’s room. When they both heard the dull thud against the bedroom door, they both looked at each other and smirked.

Mandy shrugged, “I don’t think they’re coming out anytime soon.”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, I think you’re right. Uh, here’s Ian’s stuff,” he held up Ian’s phone, wallet, and medications bag, “Can you just tell him I’ll talk to him later?”

Mandy nodded then gestured to the living area, “You can stay for a little while if you want to, you know.”

Lip paused for a minute, then nodded, “Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

He sat on the couch, and Mandy took a nearby chair. At first, neither one of them spoke, then Mandy said, “So, how’ve things been going?”

Lip shrugged, “Things have been pretty stable for a few years, I guess. How about you?”

Mandy nodded, “Same. Mickey says you’re working for Born Free Cycles? How do you go from being valedictorian of your graduating class to working on motorcycles?”

Lip chuckled self-deprecatingly, “You flunk out of college and become an alcoholic.”

Mandy looked at him in surprise, “What? Really?”

Lip nodded, “Yep, I was a chip off the old Frank Gallagher block there for a while. A former professor got me into rehab, paid for it, then I had a couple of slips, but I went to a 12-step meeting, met up with the guy who owns the shop, he became my sponsor and gave me a job.”

Mandy nodded, “Wow…I mean, I just never expected that…”

“Yeah, me neither. But I’ve been sober for almost 5 years now. Last time I relapsed was when Ian…well, I dunno how much he’s told either one of you about his experience with bipolar disorder.”

Mandy shrugged, “Basically just that he has it. I think he’s probably told Mickey more, but you don’t have to talk about what happened if you don’t want to.”

Lip nodded, “Probably a better story for another time.”

A small smile came to Mandy’s face, “Another time?”

Lip smiled and shrugged, then said, “So, what’s been going on for you? I see you escaped the South Side.”

Mandy nodded and smiled, “I sure as fuck did. Not without scars, though.”

Lip smiled at her, “No one escapes the South Side without scars.”

Mandy nodded in agreement, “I was in a lot of unhealthy relationships after I turned 18. Lotta assholes out there, then after what happened with Mickey, I decided I wanted better for myself. While he was in prison, I got my GED, took some classes at the local community college, got a job as a receptionist for a small company. Got an opportunity to be a receptionist at a larger company, and I was promoted to executive assistant a few months back.”

Lip smiled, “Check you out. Seriously, that’s awesome, Mandy. You should be really proud of that.”

Mandy nodded and smiled, “I am.”

The two of them smiled at each other for a few moments, then Lip asked, “Hey, would you wanna get coffee or lunch or something one day?”

Mandy hesitated, and Lip said, “Don’t feel like you have to. I just, this is nice, you know, talking to you or whatever. I’d like to do it again.”

Mandy bit her lip, then held out her hand, “Give me your phone.”

Lip took his phone from his back pocket and handed it to her. She quickly typed in something to his phone, then handed it back.

“You have my number. If you really mean it, text me, and I’ll see when I’m free.”

Lip smiled at her, “Thanks, Mandy,” there were more sounds coming from Mickey’s room, and he grimaced, “I, uh, I’m gonna leave you to that. Hope you have noise cancelling headphones, and ‘m gonna go. I’ll text you later, yeah?”

Mandy smiled in return, “Yeah, later, Lip.”

Lip grabbed his laundry and let himself out of their apartment. He exited their building and noted that thankfully, Adam had managed to get himself up off the sidewalk and away from the building. Lip smiled to himself as he walked to the L. He was already forming a plan for what he was going to text Mandy when he got back home.

Chapter Text

Inside Mickey’s room, the kissing had progressed to wandering hands, and Ian and Mickey were both currently stroking the other’s dick as they made out.

“Holy fuck, Gallagher…you’re fucking huge…can’t wait til you’re all better so you can pound my ass with this…oh god…”

“Fuck, Mick…love how you feel in my hand…ooh, you like that? Yeah…love how thick you are…”

“Oh, fuck…wait, wait, wait…fuck…hold on…”

Ian slowed his hand until he was basically just holding Mickey’s dick in his hand, “What? Is everything okay?”

Mickey looked at him incredulously and looked down at Ian’s hand inside his pants, “Um, your hand is on my dick, Gallagher. I’d say things are a little more than okay.”

Ian huffed out a laugh, “So, then why’d you want me to stop?”

Mickey grinned at him, “Because I was about to cum, and ‘m not ready to yet.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ian grinned back.

Mickey started walking Ian back from the door to his room to his bed. When the mattress was right underneath Ian, Mickey pushed him down by his shoulders to sit on the bed, then leaned in to kiss him before pulling back.

“What’re you…Ohhhh…” Mickey’s intent became clear when he pulled Ian’s pants and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring up as he knelt on the floor in front of him.

Mickey’s eyes were huge at the sight of Ian’s erection, and he couldn’t help but lick his lips. He looked up at Ian and wrapped his hand around Ian’s cock, “Fuck…wanna taste you. Can I?”

Ian was too dumbfounded to do anything else but nod.

The first touch of Mickey’s tongue to Ian’s head, and he almost came then and there. It didn’t help at all when Mickey wrapped his lips around the head, gently sucking and licking at Ian’s slit.

“Jesus…oh fuck…,” Ian wasn’t sure where to put his hands, in Mickey’s hair or just grip the sheets on either side of him and hang on.

Initially, he gripped the sheets as Mickey took him in slowly, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he moaned around Ian’s cock. The vibrations of his moans had Ian seeing stars, and when Mickey took him all the way in, that was almost a wrap. Instead, Mickey reached for Ian’s hands, getting him to loosen his grip on the sheets, and placed them on either side of his head. He looked up at Ian with wide eyes and swallowed around his tip.

Mickey’s eyes were hazy with pleasure, and Ian finally caught on to what he wanted him to do.

“Fuck…you want me to…oh fuck…fuck yes…,” Ian stood up and started fucking Mickey’s mouth in earnest.

He was so fucking close, then he looked down and saw that Mickey was jerking himself off to sucking his cock, and that was it for Ian.

“Holy fuck…fuck, Mick…’m not gonna last…fuck…feels so fucking good…’m gonna…oh fuck, ‘m gonna…’m gonna cum…OH GOD…UNGH…UNGH…UNGH…FUCK…”

As soon as the first taste of Ian’s cum hit the back of his throat, Mickey felt his own dick spurt all over his hand, and he moaned at the taste of him and at his own orgasm. He felt Ian’s cock jerk in his mouth as he came in long streams down his throat. When he was finally done, Mickey pulled back and looked up at the redhead.

Ian looked like Mickey had sucked his brain out through his cock and wasn’t able to form words as Mickey stood in front of him.

“You okay there?” Mickey asked.

Ian looked at him through hazy eyes before reaching for his head with one hand and his waist with the other. He leaned in and kissed Mickey lazily but thoroughly, chasing the remnants of the taste of his cum in Mickey’s mouth. Mickey moaned into the kiss as he realized what Ian was doing, and he tangled his tongue with Ian’s, sharing the taste that lingered there.

Ian pulled back and reached for Mickey’s hand, noticing the cum cooling on it. He looked Mickey in the eye as he pulled his hand up to his mouth and licked a long stripe across the cum there. Ian’s eyes rolled back in his head as he savored the taste on his tongue, and he leaned in to tangle his tongue with Mickey’s once more.

Mickey could already feel his dick starting to plump up again. This was the most passionate experience he’d ever had, and he briefly imagined what it would be like when they finally had sex. He made a mental note to set aside an entire day for it, already anticipating that once wouldn’t be enough, and that they could probably easily lose themselves in each other’s bodies for hours.

Ian pulled back, and Mickey reached for his hands, wanting to stay close to him. When he laced his fingers with Ian’s, he noticed that Ian’s hands were shaking.

He looked up at him, concerned, “Are you okay?”

Ian responded with a huge, bright smile and nodded, “Just…intense,” he then brought up one hand that was interlaced with Mickey’s and stroked Mickey’s cheek with the back of his finger.

As he did, he whispered, “That…you…,” he shook his head, still almost beyond words, “Amazing,” he finally finished.

“How’re you feeling?” Mickey’s voice was quiet in the bedroom, not wanting to disturb the bubble he felt like they were in.

Ian smiled at him, face completely open as he sighed in contentment, “Happy.”

Mickey grinned and huffed out a small laugh, “Good, but ‘s not what I meant. I meant how’re you feeling physically…you know, like your injuries, your bruises, stuff like that?”

“Oh! Um, not quite back to 100%, but I definitely feel better than I did at this time last week.”

Mickey chuckled, “Well, I would hope so. Maybe use some warm compresses on the remaining bruises today and tomorrow? Get those the rest of the way gone?”

Ian smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I think that sounds good.”

Mickey started to move from his position on the bed, “Want me to go get them now?”

Ian shyly shook his head, “Just wanna stay here with you a little longer. ‘s that okay?”

Mickey leaned in to gently kiss Ian’s lips and whispered, “Absolutely.”

After Mandy had started hearing moaning earlier, she’d popped in her AirPods and cranked up the music on her phone as loud as she could stand it.

There was a brief pause in between songs, and Mandy looked up at the sound of a door. Mickey came into the living room, looking sheepish at the smirk Mandy gave him.

“Decided to come up for air?”

Mickey blushed and flipped her off, “Shut up.”

Mandy chuckled gleefully, “At some point, I wanna know everything.”

Mickey scoffed, “Fuck right off with that. All you need to know is that things are good. We’re good.”

Mandy’s smirk turned into a genuine smile, and she said, “I’m glad, Mick. Glad the two of you talked things out.”

At Mickey’s pause, she said, “You did talk things out, right?”

Mickey scratched his head, “Kinda?”

“Well, what exactly did you talk about?”

Mickey shrugged, “I explained that I wasn’t rejecting him, that I want him, and I want this, and that…was pretty much it?”

Mandy looked at him incredulously, “Don’t you think you need to talk about everything else?”

Mickey looked confused, “Like what?”

“I don’t know!” Mandy exclaimed, “what about the fact that he just got out of an abusive relationship? What about what happens next? Is he moving in? Does he officially live here now?”

“Jesus, Mandy, slow down!” Mickey held his hands up in an attempt to stop Mandy’s barrage of questions, “I don’t know, okay? We’ve been…preoccupied…” Mickey blushed as he trailed off on the last word.

Mandy smirked, “Tell me about it.”

Mickey averted his eyes, and Mandy gentled her voice, “’m just saying, Mick, I know this is new, and the two of you are all happy and shit right now, but trust me when I say it’s best to get ahead of all this stuff. You don’t want it to smack you in the face, you know?”

Mickey sighed, “Yeah, I know, and we’ll, uh, we’ll talk about it. At some point…For right now, though, we’re both starving. How do you feel about pizza?”

Mandy smiled, “Sounds perfect.”

Mandy wanted to be annoyed, really she did, but it was truly too adorable to watch Ian and Mickey cuddled up on the couch together, Mickey playing with Ian’s fingers, and Ian periodically kissing the side of Mickey’s head.

After they finished eating, though, she could only take so much, and she excused herself to go to bed, teasingly saying, “Gonna be wearing my noise cancelling headphones tonight, guys. ‘m just saying.”

She laughed to herself as she watched both of them blush bright red before she went to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

After they heard the door shut, Ian turned to Mickey and brought his fingertips under Mickey’s chin to tilt it up. Ian was in awe of the adoration in Mickey’s eyes, and all he wanted to do was lose himself in it.

Ian looked down at Mickey’s mouth, “Wanna go to bed?”

Mickey bit his lip, then leaned up to kiss Ian gently, “I just wanna be with you.”

Ian grinned and leaned down to reattach their mouths. It was soft and passionate, and before too long, Mickey found himself on the couch underneath an incredibly aroused Ian Gallagher. Mickey couldn’t help but moan against his mouth as Ian thrust his clothed erection against Mickey’s.

Ian pulled back to catch his breath and tried to rest his weight on Mickey’s body. He winced as a sore spot pulled, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Mickey.

“Okay, superstar, I think that’s enough dry humping on the couch for now. Let’s go get you comfortable in my bed.”

Ian started to pout, but when Mickey made his second statement, he was more than happy to go along with that suggestion. He carefully lifted himself off of Mickey and stood up. He offered his hand to Mickey, and Mickey beamed at him as he stood up from the couch and held his hand as he led him towards the bedroom.

Once they were inside, Mickey turned to Ian, and the two of them began kissing again. Mickey gently slid his hands under the bottom of Ian’s t-shirt, gliding them up his sides as he lifted the shirt. Once he reached Ian’s arms, they broke the kiss so he could lift the shirt the rest of the way over Ian’s head. After his shirt was off, Mickey took a moment and ran his eyes over Ian’s torso. His fingertips followed his gaze as he gently traced Ian’s chest, abs, and arms.

When he looked back at Ian’s eyes, they had turned dark green in arousal. Mickey smiled at him and whispered, “You’re so beautiful, Ian…so fucking gorgeous…I could spend hours touching you.”

Ian nodded and whispered huskily, “Yeah, we should definitely do that…fuck…c’mere…”

Mickey leaned in to kiss Ian again, and this time, it was Ian’s hands that reached for the hem of Mickey’s shirt to lift it up and over his head. They both took their time exploring each other’s bodies with different touches to gauge what reaction each one got.

Eventually, it wasn’t enough, and Ian’s hands went to the waistband of Mickey’s sweatpants. He ran his fingers just inside the elastic and felt the trail of hair going down to Mickey’s erection. Mickey broke away on a gasp, and Ian looked at him, “Wanna see you, Mick. Can I?”

Mickey nodded wordlessly and grabbed the sides of his sweatpants pulling those and his boxers off in one fell swoop. Ian took a step back and raked his eyes over Mickey’s body.

He smirked at him, “Speaking of gorgeous…,” he placed his hands on Mickey’s shoulders and slid them slowly down his arms, gliding them lightly and smoothly over the ridges of his muscles. He then placed his hands on Mickey’s chest and smoothed his hands down and over his stomach before reaching around to Mickey’s back and feeling the skin there, too.

“Your skin is so soft,” Ian marveled as he breathed against Mickey, “Love how it feels under my hands,” and then his hands traveled downwards to Mickey’s ass, tracing the roundness of Mickey’s globes down to the tops of his legs and back up.

“Holy fuck,” Ian’s breathing sped up as he continued to run his hands over Mickey’s ass, “the things I’m gonna do to this ass once I’m all healed up.”

“Oh, yeah?” Mickey let out a breathless moan, “like what?”

“Mmmm…” Ian grinned at him lasciviously, “’m gonna worship this ass, gonna kiss every inch of it, feel those goosebumps pop up, like the ones you have right now.”

Mickey chuckled, “Fuck off, man.”

Ian chuckled in return, “Nah, I like them. Like how responsive you are to my touch.”

Mickey sighed in pleasure, “What else?”

Ian pulled Mickey’s cheeks apart just slightly, and Mickey moaned and felt himself harden even more, if that was possible.

“Then,” Ian reached to press a dry finger against Mickey’s hole, and Mickey moaned loudly at the feel of it, “I wanna spread you open and taste you. Wanna fuck you with my tongue while I finger you open.”

Mickey whimpered in response, “Oh, fuck, yes…”

“Once I have you nice and open for me, then I wanna slide my cock inside you slowly, feel you tighten as you adjust to take me all the way in…fuck…wanna watch you, see all your facial expressions while I fuck you, watch you as you cum.”

“Oh, Jesus, Ian…fuck…wanna feel you…,” Mickey reached for the waistband of Ian’s pants, pulling them down as far as he could with Ian’s finger still circling and putting pressure on his hole.

Ian managed to shimmy his pants and boxers down and used his feet to push them all the way off. He then stepped in closer to Mickey and pressed his erection against Mickey’s belly, feeling Mickey’s erection press against the base of his cock. Ian pulled back, “Where’s your lube?”

Mickey gestured toward the bedside table, and Ian pulled away altogether, leaving Mickey bereft at the loss of his body. He opened the drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube Mickey kept there. He also grabbed Mickey’s go-to vibrator and held it up with a questioning look.

Mickey blushed and shrugged, “Been a while since I been fucked by someone, okay?”

Ian put it back in the drawer and sauntered back over to Mickey, “I think it’s fucking hot.”

Mickey whimpered at Ian’s words, and Ian’s voice dropped, “You ever think of me while you use it?”

Mickey bit his lip and blushed, “’m not answering that.”

Ian grinned at him, “I think you just did.”

He pulled away again and went to lay in Mickey’s bed. He pulled back the covers and patted Mickey’s side, “C’mere.”

Mickey wasted no time in sliding in on his side of the bed and scooting over to be as close to Ian as possible.

Ian squeezed some lube in the palm of his hand, then he reached under the covers and stroked some over his cock. Then, he reached over and stroked some over Mickey’s dick. Mickey moaned at the feeling, and his moans only got louder when Ian gripped both of them in one hand and started stroking them both together. The feeling of Ian’s hand around both of them and the feel of Ian’s cock sliding against his had Mickey’s orgasm coming on quicker than he expected.

It felt too good to ask Ian to stop, and all he could do was look into Ian’s eyes and gasp out, “Oh, fuck…fuck, Ian…’m gonna…oh fuck…”

Ian sped up his strokes, “Fuck…yeah, baby, wanna see you cum for me. God, you’re so beautiful, so good for me, Mickey…wanna feel it…cum for me…”

Mickey’s eyes widened, and his mouth hung open as he gasped out moans and spurted his cum all over Ian’s hand. The look on Mickey’s face when he came had Ian hurtling towards his own orgasm, and Mickey had only started to come down when he saw Ian’s orgasm overtake him.

Mickey reached up to palm the side of Ian’s face, stroking his thumb across the apple of Ian’s cheek as he came.

“Yes…holy fuck, you’re gorgeous…amazing…love to watch you cum…fuck…everything about you, Ian…”

Mickey knew that he’d never been good at the words thing, but the message he was trying to convey seemed to land as Ian leaned in to capture his lips in a shaky but passion-filled kiss. They both smiled against each other’s mouths, and Ian asked, “You got a tissue over there?”

Mickey bit his lip and nodded. He reached into his bedside table and got out wet wipes, often needing them to wipe up after he had his solo fun time and was too tired to walk to the bathroom. He pulled back the covers and handed Ian a wet wipe so he could wipe off his hand and his cock. Mickey grabbed one and wiped off his own dick, then collected Ian’s and turned to throw them both away.

He turned back to Ian, who was starting to blink slowly.

“Hold on a minute there, Gallagher. Meds first, then sleepy time.”

Ian groaned but rolled over and out of bed. He pulled on his boxers and headed to the bathroom to take his evening meds. He was back in a few moments, and he slid back in next to Mickey.

Mickey leaned in to kiss him, “Ready for sleep now?”

Ian nodded with a smile on his face, and after Mickey turned out the lights, Ian pulled his body to him until Mickey was tucked in tight, his back against Ian’s front. Ian wrapped an arm around Mickey’s body, and Mickey reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together and bringing them up for a kiss before tucking them in over his heart. He sighed happily as he snuggled back against Ian. Mandy didn’t know what she was talking about. They were fine. They didn’t need to talk anything out. They’d just figure it out along the way.

Little did he realize, things were rarely ever that simple.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Mickey woke up, but he had little to no desire to move from his current position. He was wrapped in an embrace, his hand still interlaced with Ian’s, resting over his heart. He couldn’t ever remember feeling more content in his life, and if he had anything to say about it, the only things either one of them would be leaving his bed or his room for were food and necessary bathroom trips.

He sighed happily as he snuggled back against Ian, resulting in a pleased hum from behind him. The body behind him started to stir after that, and the husky, “Good morning,” against his neck had him hardening almost instantly.

He shivered, and Ian chuckled before leaning in to kiss and nuzzle Mickey’s neck. Mickey let out a quiet moan as he tried to grind his ass against Ian’s erection, and the redhead gave in and thrust back against him before taking a deep breath and blowing a raspberry on Mickey’s neck. It was so unexpected that Mickey let out an embarrassing squeal and a surprised laugh at the sensation.

Ian laughed behind him, and Mickey turned his head, “What the fuck was that?”

Ian shrugged, but the smile on his face was bright, “Felt like doing it, so I did it.”

Mickey chuckled and bit his lip as Ian’s face came into view. He looked into Ian’s eyes and at his lips and murmured, “Good morning to you.”

Ian licked his lips and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss against Mickey’s mouth. Mickey sighed audibly at the softness of his kiss before pulling back just slightly.

“You got any plans today?” Mickey asked.

“Mmmm, need to get up and take my meds in a few minutes, but before that,” Ian disconnected his hand from Mickey’s, and Mickey felt his fingers softly slide down his torso until they reached his dick, “my plans for today start right here.”

He wrapped his hand around Mickey’s dick and started to slowly stroke him.

“Ohhhh,” Mickey moaned in pleasure as his mouth dropped open.

“Feel good?”

Mickey bit his lip and nodded, “Mm-hmm…feels so good…fuck…don’t stop.”

He felt, rather than saw, Ian smirk before he said, “Oh, I have no intentions of stopping. Wanna hear you…hear how I make you feel. Feel you fall apart in my hand.”

“Fuck…Ian…”

“’m right here, baby. You gonna cum for me?”

“Oh, fuck…yeah…ohhhh…”

Ian’s voice dropped almost to a whisper, “I can feel you pulsing in my hand…so fucking hot, Mick…wanna feel you cum…fuck…cum for me, baby…”

Mickey felt his orgasm start, and he moaned loudly as he spurted into Ian’s hand, feeling it drip back down onto his dick and onto Ian’s fingers.

Mickey panted as he tried to catch his breath, “Holy fuck…can we start every morning off like that?”

Ian grinned at him, “As long as I’m the one here in bed with you, then sure.”

They kissed lazily a couple of times, and Mickey offered to take care of Ian, but Ian just squeezed his side and told him it could wait til later. They both got out of bed, and Ian headed for the bathroom while Mickey went to go see about breakfast and coffee.

When he got to the kitchen, Mandy was sitting at the table sipping coffee. She gave him a glare over her cup, then declared, “You’re fucking loud as shit.”

Mickey felt himself blush, then shrugged, “If you had what I had in my bed this morning, you would’ve been, too.”

Mandy smirked, then her smirk became a soft smile, “’m glad you’re happy, Mick. You are, aren’t you?”

Mickey’s smile lit up the room with its brightness as he nodded, “Really fucking happy, Mands.”

Mandy looked like she wanted to say something else, but Ian walked into the kitchen then. He paused as he walked by Mickey to kiss him sweetly on the cheek before walking over to grab their loaf of bread.

“Okay if I fix some toast? I just took my meds.”

Mickey nodded towards the toaster, “Sure, man, have at it.”

Ian made himself some toast, then poured himself a cup of coffee and brought it all over to the table. As he started to eat, Mandy noticed his hand was shaking. Ian heaved a huge sigh, and she asked, “Does it ever go away?”

Ian shook his head, smiling sadly, “Unfortunately not, but it’s a small price to pay considering the alternative.”

Mandy paused for a moment, then asked, “What was it like…you know…before you started taking meds?”

Ian sighed and began the story of his first experience with mania, “When I was…17, I guess…I decided I wanted to enlist in the military. Things weren’t great at home. I’m the middle child, and Fiona and Lip were always kind of the stand-in parents for Frank and Monica. I was always quiet because there was always so much happening with everyone else. I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. But I never felt like there was a place for me, and I just needed to escape, so I stole Lip’s identity since you have to be 18 to enlist, and I just left early one morning. Was the day after Lip graduated from high school, actually. I made it maybe a month in basic training before it got to be too much. The drill sergeants were just…harsh, for lack of a better word. I mean, I know it’s the military, and that’s to be expected, but…it was a lot. It was also around that time that I started having trouble sleeping. I just always felt like I had so much energy under my skin, and I needed to get it out. The guys in my training class hated me because I kept screwing up, and if one person screws up, everyone participates in the punishment. After a month, I decided I was done, and I tried to steal a helicopter so I could leave and go…anywhere else, really.”

“You stole a helicopter?” Mandy interjected.

“Well,” Ian smiled self-deprecatingly, “I tried. Something went wrong, and the blades caught on fire. While everyone was rushing out to see what was going on, I slipped out of camp and came back here. Started working at the White Swallow, taking whatever drugs the customers would give me. I worked the back of the club as much as I did the front. I was living in a crack house, I guess you would call it, at the time. I found my mom in between leaving basic training and starting to work at the club, and she found a place for us to stay. She’s who I got bipolar from. Her manic episodes are completely out of control and destructive to anyone who gets in the way. Growing up, we always called her ‘Hurricane Monica,’” Ian smiled sadly at the memory of her, “but she died a few years back.”

At that point, Mickey reached over and slipped his hand into Ian’s, knowing this couldn’t be easy for him to talk about. Ian gave him a grateful smile, then continued.

“Anyway, we got back to the house one night, and she got into a bad fight with one of the other people who was staying there. The woman who owns the place kicked her out, but she said I could stay. Lip and Debbie tracked me down at the club, told me some shit had happened with Fiona and Liam, and that I needed to come home. A few nights later, that’s what I did. After that, though, they started to notice that I would get home really late from the club, then I would be up the next morning at 5 AM, making breakfast, or going for an 8 mile run. I couldn’t stay focused on anything, I was jumping from subject to subject. I tried to pass it off on all the party favors I was getting from the guys at the club but turns out that was when the mania was really starting. The worst part of it was when I stole a car, and I guess I kinda stole Liam, too.”

Mickey piped up, “How do you steal your little brother?”

Ian shrugged, “I got it in my head that I was going to take him to Disney World, but I didn’t pack any clothes or diapers, and we didn’t have any money. We stopped in a small town in Indiana so I could use what we did have on food and diapers. Then I parked in front of this store, cracked a window, and went to a bar that had a rainbow flag above the entrance. It was easy to find someone right at the entrance who was willing to pay me $50 in exchange for blowing him. When I got back to the car, some woman had noticed that Liam was in the car by himself, and she had called the cops to come open the door. I started yelling at them, and they said later that I was saying some crazy shit, accusing them of trying to take my baby brother, and asking them if demons had sent them. They took us to the police station and called Lip to come pick us up. The day after all that happened, I was in bed and couldn’t move.”

There was silence that followed, and Ian immediately second guessed sharing his word vomit of a story about his first break with them. He lowered his eyes, not wanting to see the expressions he was certain were on both Mandy’s and Mickey’s faces.

But then he felt a kiss being placed on his hand. He looked up at Mickey, who had tears in the corner of his eyes.

Mickey kissed his hand again, then said, “Sounds like hell, man. I think it’s amazing that you came through all that.”

Ian shot him a small smile, grateful that Mickey didn’t seem to be judging him for what he’d done in the past. That was only a small part of it, but Ian wasn’t ready to share the rest of it just yet.

He glanced over at Mandy, who also had a caring look on her face as she said, “I bet that was really scary, Ian. I’m really glad you’re where you are now.”

Ian nodded and smiled as he felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, “Yeah, me, too.”

After they finished with breakfast, Mickey announced he was going to take a shower, and from the look on Ian’s face, he had every intention of joining him. Mandy rolled her eyes and opened her phone up to the text Lip had sent her the previous evening.

She decided to respond and typed in:

Feel like a walk in the park? I need to get away from the sexcapades in my apartment.

Lol sure. I can meet you in 10?  

Perfect. I’m gonna go ahead and get dressed and head there now. See you soon.  

Mandy hurriedly got ready, already hearing the water start for the shower. She was happy for her brother and Ian, but she also had no need to hear just how happy the two of them were.

She headed out the door, thankfully before she heard any noises coming from the bathroom, and once she was out on the sidewalk, she adopted a more leisurely pace as she headed to meet Lip.

She got to the park a few minutes before Lip did, and she took a good look at him from behind her sunglasses as he approached. He was attractive, she could admit that. The previous day, she had felt a spark she hadn’t felt in a really long time. She was wary of it, knowing where that feeling had led her before, but she was also intrigued.

Lip grinned at her as he walked up, “So the sexcapades are in full effect, eh?”

Mandy grimaced, “I have no idea if they’ve actually fucked yet, but enough is going on that I now know exactly what my brother sounds like when he has an orgasm. And let me tell you, I could’ve gone the rest of my life not knowing that.”

Lip chuckled, “Yeah, I bet.”

The two of them started to leisurely stroll on the path that lead through the park, and Lip asked, “How’s Ian doing? I know I just saw him yesterday, and he seemed okay, but…”

Mandy nodded, “Yeah, he seems fine…”

“But?” Lip prompted her.

Mandy sighed, “But he just got out of a year long relationship that was also abusive. He and Mickey seem happy right now, and believe me, I’m glad for that. I just can’t help but think the other shoe’s gonna drop at some point. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Ian to stay in our apartment as long as he needs, but does it seem a little fast to you that he’s literally gone from being in an abusive relationship 10 days ago to sleeping in another guy’s bed, and now doing sexual things with him?”

Lip shrugged, “I guess, but who are we to say what’s fast, you know?”

Mandy sighed again, “Yeah, I guess you have a point. It just feels like there’s a lot of this that he hasn’t dealt with yet, and none of us know what it’s going to look like when he does.”

Lip nodded, “No, you’re right, but what can we do?”

Mandy shrugged, “I don’t know. I just don’t want to see either one of them get hurt.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

The two walked in silence for a few moments, then Lip said, “So, a different topic?”

Mandy smiled at him, “Please.”

“What are your feelings on gelato?”

Back at the apartment, Mickey and Ian had stayed under the hot water until it started to run cool. Ian had washed every inch of Mickey’s body, and Mickey had done the same to Ian, pausing at his cock to give it a thorough washing and stroking that had resulted in both of them having to be washed again.

Mickey stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his body, before grabbing one and holding it open for Ian to step into.

They stood in the bathroom and kissed until Ian murmured, “Feel like a nap?”

Mickey shrugged, “’m not really tired.”

Ian leaned in to kiss him again and said, “Yeah, me neither. I just want to feel your body against mine.”

Mickey whimpered in the back of his throat as he nodded, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

They both hurried to Mickey’s bedroom, dropping their towels on the floor as they slid into Mickey’s bed, their bodies like magnets as they settled in, facing one another. Ian’s eyes took in all of Mickey’s facial features, his fingers tracing each one. Mickey sighed, content to let Ian touch him, and a small smile appeared on Ian’s face as he did.

Mickey returned it and asked, “What’s that smile about?”

Ian’s smile grew, “I just…all things considered, if this is where everything led to, I just feel really lucky to be here with you.”

Mickey beamed at him and leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips, “I know what you mean. I hate that you went through what you did, but I’m so glad I could take care of you. Happy you’re here with me.”

Ian smiled and kissed him again and again, keeping it soft and gentle as he wrapped his arm around the other man’s waist.

After several minutes, he pulled back and sighed.

It was more a sigh of resignation, which immediately raised Mickey’s hackles, “What’s up?”

Ian looked back at him, “I think we need to talk, Mick.”

“About?”

“About what comes next. I love being here with you, like this, waking up next to you, being able to touch you, but this wasn’t supposed to be a permanent thing, you know? I told you I’d stay here until I had healed and could figure something else out. I’m almost all the way healed from last weekend, so…”

Mickey shrugged in response, “I’d be perfectly happy if you just stayed here, Gallagher. Like I said, I hate the circumstances that caused it, but I’m definitely not mad at waking up next to you. Especially not now that I can do this,” Mickey slid his fingertips along Ian’s side, making his body jerk a little at the tickling feeling of the soft touch, “and this,” his hand joined his fingers as he smoothed it up Ian’s back, “and this,” he whispered against Ian’s lips before pressing his own against them.

This time, it was Ian who whimpered into the kiss, and it was a heady sort of feeling for Mickey to know the redhead was just as affected by him as he was by Ian.

Mickey pulled back, and Ian whispered, “Mmph…more, baby…fuck…kiss me…”

Mickey was more than happy to oblige, and their conversation was forgotten in favor of exploring each other’s mouths and bodies.

Later that evening, they were both still lying in bed, and Mickey said, “Well, I guess it’s back to work for both of us tomorrow.”

Ian smiled, “Yeah, I guess so.”

As good as it had been having this time to heal and be with Mickey, he really had missed being at Hopeful Place and was looking forward to seeing everyone the following day.

“What do we, uh, you know, tell people?”

Ian looked confused, “About?”

Mickey looked incredibly vulnerable as he said, “About us. Are we, you know, a couple?”

Ian propped himself up on his elbow against the pillow underneath his head and brought his hand up to cup the side of Mickey’s face. He traced the apple of Mickey’s cheek with his thumb before leaning forward and whispering, “Of course we are,” as he kissed him.

Mickey sighed into the kiss, but when they parted, he said, “Is that gonna make things weird?”

“Weird how?”

Mickey shrugged, “I dunno. With the kids, with Mary, with Ash or G. I didn’t know if there’s a ‘no dating coworkers’ policy at the shelter.”

“Hmmm,” Ian paused to think, “I don’t remember there being one. Of course, it hasn’t really been a thing til now.”

“Maybe…,” Mickey started, “maybe we should keep it under wraps until we get used to it? Or should we tell Mary? What do you think?”

At Mickey’s suggestion of keeping their relationship under wraps, Ian couldn’t help the unpleasant stomach flip he felt. It reminded him too much of being in the closet, of being hidden from view because the men he was with were married. Logically, he knew it wasn’t the same thing, but emotionally…

“Ian?”

Mickey’s voice brought Ian back to the present, and Ian realized he’d missed whatever Mickey had just said, “Sorry, was just in my own head. What’d you say?”

“I asked what you thought we should do,” Mickey repeated, then asked, “Everything okay?”

Ian nodded, keeping his inner turmoil at bay, “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. And…I…don’t know. I don’t want anything to ruin this, you know? I don’t want anything to get in the way of it. Maybe we just feel it out for tomorrow and over the next few days? Or we could just be together but not broadcast it?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, we’ll just feel it out.”

It was soon after that they got up to go in search of food. When they both walked into the living room, they saw Mandy sitting on the couch with her phone. The TV was on, but it was obvious she wasn’t paying attention to it and was enthralled in whoever she was texting back and forth with.

“Who’re you texting?”

Mickey’s voice startled Mandy, “Jesus, Mick…a little warning next time?”

Mickey smirked and shrugged, “Not my fault you’re more focused on your phone than your surroundings.”

Mandy set her phone down and smirked at both of them, “Speaking of not being focused on your surroundings, nice to see that both of you are still alive and breathing. I’m assuming you’re coming in search of food?”

Both men nodded sheepishly at her, and she grinned at their discomfort, “There’s leftover pizza in the fridge.”

They both went into the kitchen to heat it up and sat at the kitchen table while they ate.

“Do you want me to stay here tonight?” Ian asked out of the blue.

Mickey looked at him confused, “Of course I fucking want you to stay here tonight. We talked about that earlier, remember?”

Ian shrugged, “I dunno, just thinking it might be weird for us to go to work together tomorrow. Never mind, I’m just overthinking things. It’s fine…it’ll be fine.”

They ate in silence for the next few moments, and when they were done, Mickey looked at Ian, “Wanna watch some TV with Mandy?”

Ian smiled and nodded, “Sure. Maybe we can find out who she’s texting, too.”

Mickey smirked at him, “You read my mind, Gallagher.”

Chapter Text

The next morning, Mickey woke up like he had the previous one, with a ginger furnace wrapped around him. He typically preferred to sleep cool, but his back being sweaty was worth the pure happiness he felt at being wrapped in Ian’s arms. He reached over and tapped his phone, and when he saw that it was still early, he snuggled back into Ian’s body for a few extra ZZZ’s of sleep.

The next time he woke up, it was to an insistent erection being ground against him and a hand wrapped around his dick.

He was immediately pulled under by the early morning pleasure, and he moaned as he started pushing his ass back against Ian. He turned his face for a good morning kiss, and Ian happily dropped one on his lips.

“Mmmm…was wondering when you’d wake up and join the party.”

“Fuck…everyone should be so lucky to wake up like this…Jesus…beats any…ungh…alarm clock I ever had.”

A low chuckle at his ear followed by Ian’s lips giving a quick nip before traveling down his neck to the sensitive spot there. Ian softly kissed it before diving in and licking and sucking at that spot.

“Oh god…fuck…don’t stop…shit…fuck, Gallagher…gonna make me…oh fuck, ‘m gonna…yeah, fuck…’m gonna cum…oh god, keep going…ungh…UNGH…FUCK…”

Mickey spilled over into Ian’s hand, and Ian continued stroking him through the aftershocks until Mickey’s body stopped jerking, and he started whimpering from the overstimulation. He turned to his back so he could better face Ian, and the smile on the redhead’s face was bright as he leaned down to kiss Mickey.

Mickey reached for Ian’s erection, whispering, “Your turn…”

“Mmph,” Ian grunted, “Much as I love how your hand feels around me, why don’t we kill 2 birds with one stone, and you can get me while we shower?”

“Fuck…a wet Ian Gallagher? Hell, yes…even better.”

Ian grinned at Mickey, and the two of them hopped out of bed and headed for the shower. Luckily, it was late enough that Mandy had already left for work, so they could walk to the bathroom naked without having to cover up.

By the time they finished showering, they had just enough to get dressed, grab coffee, for Ian to grab something to eat so he could take his meds, then it was time for them to head to work.

They were both a little nervous as they approached the entrance to Hopeful Place, but they put on a face that said they were fine with entering as a couple that day.

They entered the office, and Geneva and Ash immediately flocked to Ian’s desk to check on him and see how he was feeling and catch him up on the previous week’s events. Everything had mostly been business as usual, with a few hiccups. Tara’s mom had called, completely catching her off guard, and she had needed some extra support after hearing her mom cry and make promises about how this time was going to be different. D’mitri (they called Mickey over for this one as well) had been sullen the entire week in Mickey’s absence. He didn't understand why he wasn’t there, and there was only so much of an explanation Ash and Geneva could give him. It was obvious that he had felt the loss of his unofficial tutor and mentor and had shown it by misbehaving in school and only halfheartedly carrying through with his homework the previous week. Mickey sighed and promised that he would talk to him that afternoon and sort things out after small groups were over.

Mary entered the office then and turned to Ian and Mickey, “Gallagher, Milkovich, glad to see the two of you back today. Müller, Ash, I trust the two of you have been catching them up on everything they missed last week?”

Geneva and Ash nodded, and Geneva said, “We were just in the middle of talking about D’mitri and Tara.”

Mary gave a curt nod, “Excellent. Gallagher, can I see you in my office once you’re done with the catch-up?”

Ian’s nerves sparked, but he nodded, “Sure, Mary. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Mary nodded again before heading back to her office.

His anxiety was noticeable to everyone in the room, and Geneva jumped to comfort him, “I’m sure it’s nothing, Ian. She probably just wants to check on you. It was pretty obvious last week that she was worried, so I’m sure that’s all it is.”

Ian took a deep breath, “I hope you’re right. If we’re done here, I guess I’ll go ahead and face the music.”

Before he left the office, he looked over at Mickey, who gave him a soft, reassuring look. It instantly calmed Ian’s nerves a little, and he smiled at him gratefully before leaving the office.

No sooner had he left than Mickey turned back to Ash and Geneva, who were both looking at him knowingly and smirking.

“So,” Ash began, “you gonna tell us what’s going on with you and one Ian Gallagher?”

Mickey blushed, giving himself away, but he still tried to play it off, “Whatd’ya mean?”

“Honey,” Ash chortled, “the two of you are about as stealthy as children trying to get into a cookie jar, so spill.”

Mickey took a deep breath, figuring he’d own up to the truth since they’d obviously been found out.

“We mighta kissed on Friday night,” he muttered.

“And?” Ash prompted.

“And…there might’ve been more than that on both Saturday and Sunday…and this morning.”

Ash whooped and clapped their hands, “Well, all I have to say is it’s about damn time.”

Both Ash and Geneva were all smiles after Mickey’s admission, and they both had lots of questions to pepper Mickey with since Ian was out of the room.

Once they were both satisfied with Mickey’s answers, Geneva’s face turned serious.

“Mickey,” she started, then paused, “we’re obviously both really happy for you guys. The two of you have been dancing around each other since the day you started working here. But…have the two of you talked about Adam…or about his and Ian’s relationship at all?”

Mickey shrugged, “Not really. I mean, Adam showed up at my apartment on Saturday trying to get Ian to agree to go with him, but Ian told him no and that he was done with their relationship. After that…I mean, what else did we need to talk about?”

Geneva and Ash shared a look, and Ash spoke up, “Like G said, Mickey, we’re over the moon about this development between the two of you, but Ian’s been in an abusive relationship for over a year. Or, well, he was in a relationship that became abusive at some point over the past year. That’s not something you just walk away from and are fine with afterward. We’re not telling you not to be with Ian, but just…be careful, okay?”

Ian knocked on Mary’s door, apprehensive about what she was going to say to him.

“Come in,” the woman’s usually gruff voice sounded kinder.

Ian pushed open the door to her office, “You wanted to see me?”

“Gallagher,” Mary gestured to a chair in front of her desk, “have a seat.”

Ian did, and Mary noticed the worried look on his face.

“You’re not in trouble or anything, Ian.”

Ian was even more confused, “You called me Ian.”

Mary nodded as she smiled at him supportively, “I want to check in with you on a supervisor/employee level, but also as someone who cares about you and your well-being. How are you?”

Ian responded, “A lot better now. I was pretty sore and bruised over the past week, but Mickey and his sister have some experience with that, and they took care of me. Ice, heat, ibuprofen, gauze, and lots of rest.”

Mary nodded, “Good. I’m glad they took care of you physically. How’re you doing mentally? Emotionally?”

Ian thought for a moment, “I guess…I guess I’m doing okay. Adam—my, um, ex—showed up at Mickey’s apartment on Saturday and tried to get me to come back with him. My brother and Mickey were there, and I told him no. Mickey and my brother told him not to come near any of us ever again. So, he’s out of my life, and I can put it behind me.”

Mary looked at him kindly and took a deep breath, “Do you really think it’s that easy?”

Ian shrugged, “Why wouldn’t it be? I’m out of that situation now.”

“Ian,” Mary looked at him with empathy, “you’ve been doing this work long enough to know that just because someone gets out of a bad situation, it doesn’t mean there aren’t still lingering effects.”

“I’ve really been fine, Mary. I know it’s important to take care of myself. I’m taking my meds, I’m around people who care about me. It’s all good.”

“Okay,” she looked at him skeptically, “just be aware that some things might creep back up when you don’t expect them to.”

Her look of skepticism turned to a smirk as she said, “I’ve never had any rules about relationships between employees because I haven’t needed to, but I trust that you and Milkovich won’t let your budding romance get in the way of work or your priorities here, which is first and foremost taking care of the kids. Right?”

Ian blushed at having been found out so soon, “Right.”

Mary smiled at him, “Good. Well, that’s all I wanted to talk to you about, Gallagher. If you need anything, you come see me, okay?”

Ian nodded, “Thanks, Mary.”

He left her office to go back to his space, but he stopped just outside the door as he overheard a conversation Ash and Geneva were having with Mickey.

“That’s not something you just walk away from and are fine with afterward. We’re not telling you not to be with Ian, but just…be careful, okay?”

Fuck! Why couldn’t people just let him and Mickey be happy? He was fine. Mickey was wonderful and such a welcome change from what he’d experienced in any other relationship. He was so good to Ian…so good for him. Ian was happy…finally…why couldn’t people just be happy for him?

He decided to take a few extra moments for himself and went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He took some deep breaths while he was in there and geared himself up to go back into the office. He was fine, he reminded himself. He just needed to make sure everyone else knew that, too.

All the counselors went through getting their work done, and when their afternoon lunch break hit, Ash and Geneva both smirked at Ian and Mickey as they skipped off to grab lunch from outside the shelter.

Mickey grinned at Ian, appreciating the time they had to spend together, just the two of them. Mickey rolled his desk chair over to Ian’s desk, and Ian turned and welcomed Mickey into his space, their legs slotted together.

Mickey leaned in to kiss Ian softly, and Ian sighed into the kiss. They continued to kiss, really just taking sips of each other’s lips. They kept it light, and even though their kisses didn’t spin out of control the way they normally did, the intensity of their emotions was still present.

Mickey pulled back on a gasp of air and beamed at Ian, “Fuck, I missed that.”

Ian chuckled in response, “I literally woke up next to you this morning and kissed you thoroughly while I jerked you off.”

Mickey grinned, “Yeah, I know, I was just thinking of how we spent yesterday.”

“Mmmm,” Ian hummed before leaning back in to kiss Mickey, “yesterday was a good day.”

“Yesterday was a great day,” Mickey corrected him.

“Yesterday was the best day,” Ian whispered against his mouth.

Mickey nodded into the kiss, “No argument there.”

They kissed once more, pulling back from each other so things didn’t get out of hand, and Mickey asked, “So, what’d Mary want earlier?”

Ian smiled, “She just wanted to check on me, on how I was doing.”

“What’d you tell her?”

Ian beamed at him, “Told her how well you and Mandy took care of me and helped with my physical injuries.”

Mickey bit his lip and grinned bashfully, and Ian smiled at how endearing his response was.

“Then, she asked me how I was doing mentally and emotionally.”

Mickey nodded thoughtfully, “What’d you tell her?”

Ian shrugged, “Told her I was doing fine, you know? That I was out of that situation, and that I could put it behind me now. She figured out that we’re together.”

“What’d she say to that?”

Ian blushed, “Told me she was happy for us, and we just need to make sure and prioritize the kids and our work here and not get distracted.”

“Mmmm,” Mickey leaned in and whispered, “That just means I’ll have to make up for it by distracting you later.”

Ian nodded against Mickey’s mouth, “Yes, please.”

They heard footsteps coming down the hall, and they put some physical distance between the two of them. Ian got up and squeezed Mickey’s shoulder, “I’m gonna go make us a couple of sandwiches really quick. Be right back.”

Mickey smiled goofily at the kind gesture and was still smiling to himself when Ash and Geneva walked in from the hallway.

They both looked at him and put their hands over their hearts as they said, “Awwww…”

Mickey blushed bright red and muttered, “Fuck off.”

They both chuckled, knowing not to take him seriously, and they did it again when Ian placed a sandwich on Mickey’s desk and winked at him.

After they ate, it was time to get the snacks ready for the kids and field what was sure to be a barrage of questions when they saw that Ian and Mickey were back. Ian stood up to head to the kitchen, and he turned back to Mickey, “Coming?”

Mickey scrambled up from his chair to follow Ian, and he pretended not to hear the snickers from Ash and Geneva at his obvious enthusiasm to go with Ian.

They got to the kitchen, and while Ian was getting out the snacks to fill the basket, Mickey asked, “Have you thought about what you’re going to say to them?”

“To who? The kids?” Ian sighed, “I guess I probably should, huh? I don’t want to lie to them, but they also don’t need to know the gritty details. That’s sort of a fine line to walk when it comes to being a peer support counselor. A lot of the expertise you bring in is based on your own lived experience, but the work we do here isn’t about us, you know? It’s about them.”

Mickey nodded in agreement, and Ian continued to mull over how he should answer their questions.

“Maybe I could just tell them that someone who was in my life hurt me pretty badly, and you helped me out? That sounds honest but vague enough, right?”

Mickey shrugged, “I don’t fucking know. Guess it sounds fine to me. Dunno how much they’re gonna buy it, though. Kids are definitely curious creatures.”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, I know. I guess I’ll just feel it out and answer as best I can.”

Distantly, they both heard the front door slam open, and Mickey said, “Well, get ready. Here they come.”

After they had passed out snacks, both Ian and Mickey had to take a few minutes to catch their breaths and take a break before small groups started. To say they both felt consumed by all the questions and excitement over their return was an understatement. The kids had descended upon them all at once, and it had been all either one of them could do to get the kids to focus on getting their snacks before snack time was over.

When the last kid had gotten their snack and headed to the rec room, Ian looked over at Mickey, who looked completely shell-shocked.

“Holy fuck,” he said, trying to catch his breath, “that was a lot.”

Ian chuckled in agreement, “Uh-huh. I don’t think the rest of this day is gonna get any easier, either.”

And he was right.

As soon as small groups started, Ian began his group the way he always did, checking in with everyone, but this time, he asked for an update on the past week. Most of the kids shared basics with him about what had happened. Tara shyly raised her hand and asked if she could talk to Ian one on one after small group time was over.

As soon as the last kid in the group finished checking in, Damian’s hand went up.

Ian gestured to him, “Yeah, Damian, what’s up?”

Damian looked at him with curious eyes, “Are you okay?”

Ian smiled at him, “Yes, I am okay.”

Damian’s hand went up again, and Ian called on him again.

This time, “Were you sick?”

Ian hesitated with answering, “I…was…not feeling well, no. But I’m much better today. Ash and G texted me a lot last week, telling me about all your well wishes, and I’m super grateful for those.”

This time, it was Luke who raised his hand. Ian called on him, and the boy blushed and quietly said, “We’re really glad you’re back.”

Ian’s face melted, and he gave Luke a big smile, “Me, too, Luke. Definitely me, too.”

Thankfully, at that point, it was time to break from small groups, so Ian asked if anyone needed help with homework. D’mitri just fixed him with a defiant glare and didn’t respond.

After the group broke up, Ian sighed and turned to face D’mitri, “Look, I know you were upset that Mickey wasn’t here last week, but he’s back today, so if you need help with homework, I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help you.”

Like it was his cue, Mickey showed up right then and looked at Ian and nodded, indicating he’d take it from there.

After Ian turned to walk away, Mickey sighed and looked at D’mitri.

“C’mon,” he said, then turned to head to the study rooms. He heard some grumbling and dramatic sighing behind him, but he knew that meant D’mitri was following behind him.

As soon as they reached the study room, Mickey took one of the chairs and gestured for D’mitri to take the other. He continued to glare at Mickey, but Mickey recognized the underlying feelings he saw in D’mitri’s eyes, having experienced them when he was younger.

“Okay,” Mickey sighed, “talk to me.”

“Why the fuck should I? ‘s not like you really care.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mickey gently replied, “Where’s that coming from?”

“You weren’t here,” D’mitri gritted out, “All last week. No call, no warning, nothing. You just didn’t show up.”

“D’mitri,” Mickey began, “there are things that sometimes happen in a person’s life that they have to take care of, okay? That’s what happened last week. It wasn’t because I don’t care about you guys. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be here. It was because there was something outside of here that I had to take care of.”

D’mitri’s glare seemed to soften at Mickey’s explanation, so Mickey continued, “’s that why you were acting out at school?”

D’mitri’s glare turned to surprise, “How do you know about that?”

“Just because I wasn’t here last week doesn’t mean I didn’t care about what was going on here, man.”

D’mitri looked sheepish and ducked his head.

“So?” Mickey prompted, “Tell me what happened.”

D’mitri no longer looked mad, just embarrassed, and he muttered, “You weren’t here, and no one would really tell us anything. I…I got upset. There was some homework stuff I didn’t understand, so I didn’t do it, then I got pissed at the teacher when she gave me this look like she was disappointed in me. ‘s not my fault I didn’t understand it.”

Mickey sighed, “Is there anyone else here you could’ve asked for help?”

D’mitri shrugged, “I dunno, maybe.”

“So, why didn’t you?”

D’mitri shrugged again, and in a rare moment of openness and vulnerability, he said, “None of them are you.”

Mickey felt his heart clench at the boy’s words, and he paused before finding the words to respond.

“D’mitri, I’m not gonna lie. There’s a lot about you and how you see the world that feels very familiar to me because I had the same outlook when I was your age. I’m really glad you feel like you can talk to me and ask me for help with stuff, but maybe one of the things we can work on is helping you ask other people for help so that you won’t feel stuck if there’s another time I have to be out.”

D'mitri looked sullen, but when Mickey raised his eyebrows, he rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, okay, whatever. I guess we can do that.”

Mickey smiled, “Good. But for now, homework.”

D’mitri rolled his eyes again, but Mickey noticed the small smile on his face as he grumbled, “Yeah, yeah, okay.”

After homework time was done, Mickey and D’mitri entered the kitchen to find Ian doling out dinner tasks to the kitchen helpers. Mickey paused for a moment to marvel at how natural and confident Ian looked in his role at the shelter. Even if it had been a shitty road that led him there, Mickey couldn’t imagine any other role fitting Ian’s skills as well as this one.

He was shaken from his thoughts when he felt an elbow in his side. He turned, and D’mitri had obviously put two and two together as he tossed an amused smirk at Mickey. Mickey couldn’t help but blush in return as he playfully shooed D’mitri away to go work on his dinner task.

Mickey walked over to Ian, trying as hard as he could to remain professional, and asked, “Whatcha got for me, chef?”

He watched as Ian seemed to struggle with the same thing as his cheeks turned a little pink, and he said, “We’re grilling out, so you’re in charge of seasoning the meat. We’re having hamburger steaks tonight.”

Mickey grinned and said, “You got it. Point me in the direction of the spices, then hand over the meat.”

Ian’s blush deepened at Mickey’s words, and he wordlessly pointed at the cabinet where the different spices and seasonings were kept.

He blurted out, “’m gonna make sure everyone else is doing okay. Just, uh, lemme know when you’re ready for us to grill them up.”

Mickey smiled at him, “Will do.”

Ian stopped by the different stations to check on everyone’s progress with their contribution to dinner, and a few minutes later, Mickey motioned him over.

He gestured to the plate in front of him and said, “Okay, they’re ready when you are.”

Ian couldn’t help the huge smile he shot Mickey as he said, “Okay, let’s go.”

They moved toward the door to the kitchen, and Ian called out, “We’re headed to the grill. Be back shortly.”

He didn’t bother turning around to catch any of the knowing expressions coming from Ash or Geneva or any of the more observant kids.

Mickey opened the door leading outside to the grill area, and Ian set the plate of hamburger steaks on the nearby table as he started up the grill.

While he was waiting for the grill to heat up, he turned to Mickey, an obvious look of want and hunger in his eyes. 

Mickey felt the blood rush through his veins at the blatant longing in Ian’s eyes, and he quietly asked, “What?”

Ian swallowed, “Is it wrong that all I’ve wanted to do all day is push you up against the wall and make out with you?”

Mickey blushed, “Only if it’s wrong that I’ve wanted you to do that all day.”

Ian moved over into Mickey’s personal space as he leaned down, not kissing him, but just breathing him in, “Fuck…I can’t wait until we’re done here so I can touch you and not have to worry about prying eyes.”

Mickey felt Ian’s words flow through his body, and he nodded, “Yeah…fuck…same.”

Ian couldn’t help himself as he leaned down to capture Mickey’s lips. He had meant for it to be brief, but when Mickey returned the pressure of his mouth with the same amount of longing, Ian whimpered into the kiss and deepened it.

It was only when Ian heard the sounds coming from the grill that he managed to pull back, “Jesus…okay, I gotta get these on and grill them without burning them.”

He turned to look at Mickey, who held his hands up in innocence, “I’m just standing here, minding my own business.”

The want in Ian’s eyes was palpable as he said, “But you look so fucking sexy doing it.”

“Fuck…,” Mickey whispered.

The two stood there staring at each other, then Mickey cleared his throat and said weakly, “I, uh, I think you need to flip those.”

Ian startled and turned his attention to the grill. Luckily, Mickey had managed to catch them in the sweet spot of grill time, so Ian flipped them without any of them burning.

He turned his head back to look at Mickey, who took a deep breath and said, “I think I’m gonna go get a clean plate for you to put those on because if I stand out here any longer, I guarantee they’re going to end up burned.”

Ian chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, I think you’re right. Get your sexy ass inside, then.”

Mickey grinned cheekily at him as he walked back towards the door, adding in a little bit more hip movement, knowing Ian was staring at his ass.

After Mickey had disappeared inside, Ian took a deep breath and reminded himself that he only had a short amount of time left at work, then he could touch and kiss Mickey all he wanted.

Mickey returned with a plate a few moments later, and Ian smiled at him before placing the food on the plate for it to be served. Mickey took the plate, then asked, “You gonna stay out here and take care of the grill?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be in shortly.”

Mickey nodded, then took the plate to the kitchen. He helped serve everyone’s plate, but when he noticed Ian hadn’t come back in yet, he went back outside to find him.

Ian was brushing off the grates and waiting for the grill to cool down before he closed the top.

He looked up when the door opened and was pleasantly surprised to see Mickey, “Hey, what’re you doing back out here?”

Mickey sauntered over to him, “You almost done cleaning that?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, I was just finishing up.”

Mickey stepped into his space, “How long does it take the grill to cool down?”

Ian shrugged, “Maybe another 10 minutes or so. Why?”

“Then we’re swimming in time. C’mere.”

Ian smiled and put the brush back where it was supposed to go before turning his body towards Mickey’s and wrapping his arms around him, lowering his mouth to his as he did.

“Fuck…your mouth, man,” Mickey whispered against his lips in between kisses.

“I want you,” Ian whispered back.

Mickey whimpered against his mouth and nodded, reaching for the belt loops on Ian’s pants to bring their lower bodies against each other.

They both moaned as their clothed erections pressed against each other.

Ian gasped, “Fuck…can’t wait to feel you, be able to touch you after we leave here.”

Mickey nodded, “Wanna feel your hands on me.”

“Jesus…same…”

They made out for a few more minutes before they heard the door squeak open. They both jumped back from the other and saw Ash’s amused smirk appear in the doorway.

“I made up to-go plates for both of you, so if the two of you feel like you can detach your mouths from the other, it’s time for dish duty. Since G and I did it the entire last week in your absence, the two of you are up.”

Mickey and Ian grinned sheepishly at them, and Ian turned to the grill, which had more than cooled down by that time and was ready to be closed.

 They both followed Ash back in, and G was busily putting plates next to the sink, getting them ready to be washed. She smirked when she turned and saw them enter the kitchen.

“Glad the two of you could join us. Dishes are ready. Just remember we get off work in 30 minutes, and then the two of you can focus on getting off.”

Ian blushed, “Geneva!!”

Geneva shrugged innocently, “I said what I said. Happy washing!”

She giggled as she exited the kitchen.

Ian gestured over to the sink, “Well, I guess we’d better…”

Mickey nodded, “The quicker we get to it, the faster time will go by, and then…”

Ian nodded in response, “’And then,’ indeed.”

They managed to make it through washing the dishes without distracting each other, and soon enough, it was time for the counselors to grab their things and leave for the evening.

Something felt different to Ian, and he couldn’t figure out what it was until the niggling in the back of his mind brought up that this was the first time he was leaving work and didn’t have to worry about doing so with Adam. It gave him even more of a sense of freedom and a bounce in his step as he and Mickey walked to the L.

“What’s with you?” Mickey asked amusedly.

Ian gave him a big smile, “Just realized I’m leaving here with you tonight, and I’m really happy. Happier than I can remember being in a really long time.”

Mickey blushed and beamed at him, “Same, Gallagher. Let’s get home so I can show you how much.”

The ride to Mickey’s apartment was filled with longing glances and pinkies hooked together as they anticipated being back in the sanctuary of Mickey’s apartment, and more specifically, his bedroom.

When they got to the apartment, Mandy had just sat down to eat dinner, so Mickey and Ian sat with her and ate the food Ash had packed up for them to take home.

They told her about their respective days and about how everyone seemed pretty much on board with them being together as long as it didn’t interfere with their work. Mandy seemed genuinely happy for them, but she was also distracted with her phone.

Mickey looked over at her, “Who are you texting?”

Mandy blushed a deep red, then said, “None of your fucking business, that’s who.”

Ian and Mickey shared a look and decided to stop prying for now. They had more important things to take care of. They hurriedly finished their dinners, then said an early good night to Mandy, who had the awareness to smirk at both of them knowingly before wishing them a good night.

In Mickey’s room, as soon as the door shut, Ian had Mickey’s back pressed against it and his lips pressed against Mickey’s. His hands started at Mickey’s shoulders and ran down his arms, his sides, his back. It was like he couldn’t touch him enough, and after going an entire day without being able to, that’s exactly what it felt like.

Ian quickly divested Mickey of his shirt, in favor of feeling skin on skin, and Mickey sighed into his touch once his shirt was off. He ran his hands just under the hem of Ian’s shirt, and they both moaned at the feel of Mickey’s hands on Ian’s body.

“Fuck…your hands feel so good,” Ian moaned against Mickey’s mouth.

Mickey lifted Ian’s shirt up, “Off,” he gasped, “Fuck…get it off…”

Ian quickly lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere in the room.

They both stumbled over to Mickey’s bed, trying to get the rest of their clothes off on the way. Once they were both naked, they slid under the covers and pressed their bodies against each other as they resumed kissing.

Mickey’s hand reached for Ian’s erection, and Ian moaned at the feel of Mickey’s hand stroking him.

“Fuck…you’re so fucking big, Red…want you to fuck me…fuck…wanna feel this inside me…”

Ian moaned and thrust into Mickey’s hand, “Ungh…I want that, too…fuck…so bad, Mick…”

Mickey leaned back, “What’re you waiting for then?”

Ian threw his head back and moaned before finding rational thought again, “I, uh, I wanna get tested first. Wanna make sure ‘m clean so I can fuck you bare.”

Mickey moaned at the suggestion and nodded, “Yeah…want you to cum inside me…fuck…wanna feel it drip out of me…”

“Oh, shit, Mickey…”

Mickey bit his lip as he smirked at Ian, “Guess you like that, too, huh, tough guy? Can feel you leaking.”

Ian let out a breathy, “Uh-huh,” as Mickey continued to stroke him.

Mickey continued talking to him, wanting to watch Ian fall apart in his hand at his words, “Wanna feel you open me up with these long fingers…the only thing I’ve had inside me for the past 6 months has been a dildo, and it’s not nearly as big as you are.”

Ian moaned, “Oh god…”

Mickey continued, “Gonna have you start with one…’s gonna feel so fucking good…and then another…feel you get me ready to take that cock…and then another. After you’ve fucked me good with those 3 fingers, then you’re gonna lube up this cock,” Ian started pulsing against Mickey’s hand, “and you’re gonna sink into me inch by inch until I can feel your balls against my ass…gonna fill me up so fucking good, aren’t you?”

Ian nodded breathlessly.

“And then,” Mickey continued, “you’re gonna watch me fall apart on your cock as you fuck me…fuck…I just know you’re gonna hit that spot for me, aren’t you?”

Ian nodded as he whimpered and moaned, “Gonna hit it so good for you.”

“Yeah?” Mickey asked breathlessly, “Gonna make me cum untouched?”

Ian nodded again, “Fuck…gonna be so fucking hot, Mick…wanna feel you shoot all over me while I pump your ass full of cum…”

“Fuck yeah…Oh, god, Ian…fuck…’m gonna…fuck…can’t wait to feel you shoot inside of me…oh god…”

“Yeah, Mick…fuck…fuckin’ cum for me…god, I want it…fuck…”

Mickey came just from imagining Ian fucking him, which triggered Ian’s own orgasm. The two of them breathed against each other’s mouths as they came down, then tangled their tongues together.

After they both caught their breaths, Mickey grabbed wet wipes from his bedside table and handed a couple of them to Ian. After they had sufficiently wiped themselves off, they started to settle in next to each other.

Mickey leaned in to kiss Ian softly, but Ian paused, “Hold on. Meds time. Hold that thought.”

Ian slipped his boxers on and ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take his meds. He was back in record time and divested himself of his boxers before he dove back into bed next to Mickey, “Now…where were we?”

Chapter Text

Mickey was in a dead sleep when sounds coming from next to him startled him awake. He woke up to Ian thrashing around in the bed and pleading, “Oh, god, please…don’t do it…Please don’t…DON’T!!! NOOOOO!!!!!”

Recognizing it as a nightmare, Mickey tried to avoid Ian’s wild limbs as he tried to wake him up.

He placed a gentle hand on Ian’s shoulder and said, “Ian?”

Ian continued to plead with the unknown force in his dream, and Mickey said louder, “IAN!!”

Ian woke up with a start, and Mickey immediately turned on the lamp next to his bed so Ian could see his surroundings.

Mickey was heartbroken to see the tears welling up in Ian’s wild eyes. When he finally focused on Mickey, he clenched his eyes shut and tried to slow down his breathing. Mickey watched as a few tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He reached up to wipe them away, and Ian sniffled and opened his eyes.

“Hey, there, tough guy,” Mickey said gently, “what happened?”

Ian shook his head, “It was awful, Mick,” he sniffled a little more, “I just…can you just let me hold you? I don’t wanna talk about it right now…maybe in the morning.”

Mickey nodded, “’f course. C’mere.”

He turned his back towards Ian and scooted back so Ian could spoon him from behind. Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s torso and hugged his body tightly to his. Mickey felt Ian’s body shake a little with quiet sobs, but since Ian didn’t want to talk about it, Mickey did the only thing he could think to do and brought his hand up to his lips to kiss it gently over and over again until he heard Ian’s breathing even out and felt him relax against his back.

The next morning, Mickey practically had to pry himself out of Ian’s grip, and every time, he tried to move, Ian would pull him back in.

Finally, Mickey managed to pull himself away so he could go piss. When he came back out of the bathroom, Mandy was putting the finishing touches on her work outfit before leaving.

She looked at Mickey, “You look fucking exhausted. Ian keep you up too late?”

She punctuated her question with a smirk, which quickly dissipated when Mickey’s expression stayed serious.

“God, I wish, but nah, he, uh, he had a nightmare last night, woke both of us up.”

“What was it about?” Mandy asked.

Mickey shrugged, “I dunno. Said he didn’t wanna talk about it, then he held on to me like a security blanket. Had to pry his arms off me so I wouldn’t piss myself.”

Mandy sighed, “I gotta get to work, Mick. You gonna go get some more sleep?”

Mickey scrubbed a hand over his face, “I dunno, maybe. Might do more harm than good to go back to sleep now, though.”

Mandy nodded and gave Mickey a tight-lipped smile, “Get some rest when you can.”

Mickey nodded, and Mandy turned to leave, heaving a deep sigh as she did. She hadn’t wanted to be right, but she feared that the shoe she was afraid would drop was getting ready to do just that.

When Ian woke up, he was much calmer and much more relaxed than he had been the night before, but he still didn’t want to talk about the nightmare he’d had. All he wanted to do was hold Mickey against him as tightly as he could, which was easy to do at first, with Mickey’s body against his. Soon enough, though, it was time to get up and get ready for work, and Ian couldn’t stop pouting or clinging to Mickey’s side as real life interfered with their bubble.

Mickey tried to be affectionate with Ian, giving him small touches, rubbing his back, kissing him on top of his head, rubbing his arm, but nothing he did seemed to break the brooding ginger from his thoughts.

On the train on the way to the shelter, Ian laced their fingers together and held Mickey’s hand the entire way there, as if he was afraid Mickey would disappear from his sight if he let go.

They got to the shelter, and before they went in, Mickey stopped Ian, “Hey, wait a second.”

Ian stopped and looked at him forlornly, and Mickey brought a hand up to cup his cheek, “Listen, I dunno what happened in the nightmare you had last night, but I want you to know that if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

Ian nodded, and Mickey continued, “But stop looking at me like you’re afraid I’m gonna disappear, Ian. I’m not. I’m right here. I’m in this…with you, okay?”

Ian gave Mickey a small smile as he sighed, and Mickey could see some of the stress and anxiety fall from his shoulders. He nodded, and Mickey leaned in to kiss him, whispering, “’m not going anywhere.”

Ian nodded again as he returned the kiss and breathed Mickey in for a moment.

Their moment was interrupted by the sound of Ash’s voice, “C’mon, lovebirds! Let’s get this day started. Plenty of time for all your smoochy-smooth later.”

They both grinned and blushed at the interruption and walked into the shelter.

Ian seemed lighter for the rest of the day after what Mickey had said to him before they walked in, but he was still quieter and more withdrawn than he normally was. Mickey observed Geneva sitting beside him and whispering back and forth, and it looked like she was asking him if everything was okay. Ian nodded and gave her a small smile. The look of concern didn’t leave her face, but she squeezed his shoulder and walked back over to her desk.

Ian did his job with practiced ease, and it wouldn’t have been obvious to anyone outside of his fellow counselors, but they could all tell something was off.

Mickey was in Ash’s group that particular day, and after the group broke for homework time, they pulled Mickey aside.

Ash crossed their arms, “Okay, so what happened?”

Mickey shrugged, “I have no idea.”

“Are you fighting?”

Mickey shook his head, “No, not at all. Everything this past weekend was good. He, uh, he did have a nightmare last night.”

Ash sighed, “What was it about?”

Mickey shrugged again, “He said he didn’t want to talk about it.”

Ash gave Mickey a look, “You’re gonna have to get him to talk about it. This isn’t healthy, and if it was his nightmare that’s having this kind of effect on him? He’s gotta get it out of his head. Otherwise, it’ll eat him—and you—alive.”

Mickey sighed, “I’m gonna try to get him to talk about it when we get back to my apartment tonight.”

Ash smiled at Mickey and put a hand on his shoulder, “Ian’s lucky to have you, Mickey.”

Mickey blushed and ducked his head as he muttered, “’m lucky to have him.”

The day ended, and Ian and Mickey headed back to the L, side by side. Ian wasn’t as gloomy as he had been that morning, but Mickey could still tell that he was lost in his thoughts. When they got on the train, he reached over to take Ian’s hand, and he was rewarded with a surprised but genuine Ian Gallagher smile. It made him smile back, and he lifted their entangled hands to place a kiss on the back of Ian’s. Ian’s smile deepened even more, and Mickey thought to himself that they could handle anything as long as Ian kept smiling at him like that.

Ian didn’t say much to Mandy when they got into the apartment. He just kissed Mickey and told him that he was going to lay down for a few minutes.

As soon as he shut Mickey’s door, Mandy turned to Mickey, “Is he okay?”

Mickey shrugged, “I dunno, Mands. He will be…I hope.”

Mandy smiled caringly at Mickey, “Go check on your man.”

Mickey smiled to himself at her choice of words, and he opened the door quietly, “E?”

“Yeah?” came the quiet response.

“Talk to me?”

Mickey heard Ian shift on the bed, and even though it was dark in the room, he could hear Ian pat the bed beside him, “C’mere.”

Mickey toed off his shoes and socks and slid across the bed until he was right next to Ian. Ian’s arms snaked around him, and Mickey felt him take a deep breath before letting it out.

“My, uh, my nightmare last night,” Ian cleared his throat, “I dreamt that we were out on a date, but then I was back in that room with him that night. You were there, and you tried to stop him, but he had a gun. H-he aimed it at me, and at the last minute, you tried to wrestle him for it, and the gun went off. I held you in my arms as I watched you die.”

“Oh, Ian,” Mickey murmured, “I’m so sorry you dreamt that. No wonder you were upset last night and today.”

Ian started sniffling, and Mickey heard the sobs catch in his throat.

“I can’t lose you, Mickey,” Ian whispered, “I just found you.”

Mickey’s heart both melted and broke for this man holding him. He maneuvered his way up to Ian’s face and kissed the tracks of saltiness he found on his cheeks.

“Ian,” Mickey said softly, “you’re not gonna lose me, not if I have anything to say about it.”

Ian nodded and sniffled, and Mickey said, “How about this as an alternative? When we go out, I’ll just pack my own heat, and if Adam somehow appears, I’ll make sure and get him before he gets either one of us.”

Ian chuckled through his tears, “Your solution is to shoot him before he shoots us in this imaginary scenario?”

“Well…yeah?”

Ian chuckled some more before leaning down in the dark to find Mickey’s mouth with his own. When he pulled back, he reached up with one hand to trace Mickey’s cheeks and facial features.

“Mick?” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

“I, uh…I think I…you’re just, uh, you’re really important to me,” Ian stumbled over the words he’d really wanted to say.

Mickey was becoming well-versed in reading between the lines of Ian Gallagher, so he smiled and kissed Ian and said, “Yeah, Gallagher, me, too.”

If Mickey had thought that conversation and reassurance would be enough to get them both through the rest of the week unscathed, he was sorely mistaken. Ian had woken up in the middle of the night every night that week, thrashing and yelling and pleading and crying out. Mickey had been able to soothe him back to sleep each time, but the middle of the night disruption to their sleep was taking a toll on them both.

It was Friday when they were riding to work, and Ian nudged Mickey, “I’m sorry, by the way.”

Mickey looked at him confused, “For what?”

Ian shrugged, “Not being able to control my nightmares, waking you up in the middle of the night, the responsibility being on you to help me get back to sleep, you know.”

Mickey gave him an understanding smile, “None of that is your fault, Ian. ‘m just sorry you’re dealing with it. Wish there was something I could do to help, you know?”

Ian smiled warmly at him, “You help just by being there, Mickey.”

Mickey returned the smile, and the two settled in for the rest of the ride to the shelter.

They were almost there when Ian said, “Oh! I can’t believe how stupid and forgetful I’ve been! Tomorrow’s Lip’s birthday party thing. You wanna, you know, go with me?”

Mickey couldn’t help the teasing smile that came to his lips, “You asking me on a date, Gallagher?”

“Yeah,” Ian responded with a similar smile, “I guess I am.”

Mickey leaned in to peck Ian’s lips as he murmured, “Absolutely.”

It was obvious that Friday that Ian’s exhaustion from the burden of his nightmares that week had set in. His work was the very definition of “going through the motions,” and Ash and Geneva were concerned, to put it mildly.

Ian had opted to go lie down in one of the quiet rooms for lunch, and Geneva whispered to Mickey, “What’s been going on with him? He hasn’t been himself this entire week, Mickey. Have you noticed anything in the evenings?”

Mickey sighed. He had hesitated to say much to Ash and Geneva, not knowing how much they already knew and not wanting to overshare Ian’s business.

“He, uh, he’s been having nightmares this week.”

Ash and Geneva looked at each other, and Geneva asked, “Every night?”

Mickey scrubbed his hands over his face and nodded, “Just like clockwork. He wakes up in the middle of the night, arms and legs thrashing while he yells and cries out, begs whatever’s in his dreams to stop.”

Ash and Geneva were both quiet, and Ash finally spoke up, “Damn, Mickey, that’s rough.”

Mickey nodded and sighed heavily, “Yeah…really is.”

“Well, that accounts for how exhausted Ian’s looked this week,” Ash remarked, and Geneva nodded.

There was silence, and then Geneva spoke, “Mickey, have you thought about seeing if Ian’s willing to go see a therapist?”

Mickey shrugged, “I hadn’t really thought about it, but,” he sighed, “probably wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. Gotta do something, you know?”

Geneva smiled kindly at him, “I have some names of counselors who specialize in relationship trauma. I can give you their names and numbers if you want.”

Mickey nodded and smiled back at her, “That’d be great. Thanks, G. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Geneva replied, “Gotta help out one of our own, right?”

Try as he might, Ian wasn’t able to catch some much needed ZZZ’s during lunch time. Finally, he gave up and figured that if he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, he might as well get something to eat. He walked back to the office to see if Mickey wanted something, but once again, he heard his co-workers’ voices as he approached the office, and once again, he was the topic of conversation.

“…have you thought about seeing if Ian’s willing to go see a therapist?”

Geneva’s voice, and Mickey’s response, “I hadn’t really thought about it, but,” he sighed, “probably wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. Gotta do something, you know?”

“I have some names of counselors who specialize in relationship trauma. I can give you their names and numbers if you want.”

Ian felt his heart drop and didn’t hear anything else that was said beyond that. This is exactly what he’d been afraid of. His nightmares and the struggles left by his relationship with Adam were too much for Mickey to deal with. They were too much to the point that he was getting names and numbers of therapists who could better handle the weight of Ian’s inner struggle. Once again, he felt like a burden on someone he cared about deeply.

Ian knew he couldn’t give away that he’d been listening, so he quietly walked a few steps back down the hallway and made it a point to yawn and stretch audibly as he walked toward the office.

He walked in the door just as Geneva was leaving a piece of paper on Mickey’s desk. Ian was pretty sure he knew what was on the paper, so he ignored it as he walked up behind Mickey’s chair. He placed his hands on the back of his chair and bent down to kiss him on top of the head.

Mickey tipped his head back to look at Ian upside down and smiled at him, “Hey, you, didja get any rest?”

Ian shrugged, “Not much. Hard to sleep on a couch when you’re used to sleeping on a comfortable bed, especially when you’re used to sleeping next to someone.”

Mickey grinned, “I can imagine. You hungry?”

Ian smiled, “I was just coming to ask you the same thing. I can make us a couple of sandwiches if you want?”

Mickey reached for Ian’s hand to bring to his lips, “That’d be great…if you don’t mind.”

Ian smiled warmly at him, “I don’t mind at all. Be right back.”

Ian was glad Mickey had taken him up on his offer. He didn’t mind fixing them both sandwiches, but he also had no interest in spending too much downtime in a room with people who thought he couldn’t handle his own shit and needed to see a therapist.

He sighed as he made the sandwiches for himself and Mickey. Maybe they were right. He had been medically stable for a long time, five years now, but he could feel the ever-looming blanket of heaviness that threatened to pull him down if given enough ammunition. He had no interest in going into a low point this early in his and Mickey’s relationship, so even though the idea that his current struggles were too much for Mickey to deal with hurt, he would try. He would do what he knew would ultimately be best for him, and he would give therapy a chance. He knew it would be hard, though, and he didn’t want Mickey to see that part. He wanted to be whole for Mickey, but being faced with his current brokenness was too messy, too scary. He felt like he’d already shown Mickey too much, but he wasn’t sure how to reign it back in.

He finished making the sandwiches and put on his best “I promise I’m okay” face before returning to the office. He set the plate down on the corner of Mickey’s desk and rolled his own desk chair over to share the plate with him.

Mickey grinned at him, and Ian winked, making Mickey’s cheeks turn light pink.

From lunch on, Ian seemed to be in brighter spirits and had rallied to finish out the day with more energy than he started with. When he and Mickey and Geneva and Ash walked out for the evening, he wished Geneva and Ash a happy weekend, then grabbed Mickey’s hand and pulled him in for a kiss in the middle of the sidewalk.

Mickey was caught by surprise and was happily breathless afterward, “What was that for?”

Ian shrugged, “Just happy we made it through the week,” then he smirked at Mickey, “Why? You complaining?”

Mickey grinned at him before pulling him back in, murmuring, “Not at all.”

The two stood there on the sidewalk kissing without a care in the world until someone yelled, “Get a fucking room!”

They broke apart laughing, and Ian squeezed Mickey’s hand, “Actually, that’s a really good suggestion. Wanna?”

Mickey nodded, “Oh, fuck yeah…race you to the L, Gallagher!”

And with that, he was off toward the station. His quick start was no match for Ian’s long legs, and Ian got to the platform a step before Mickey did.

They were both out of breath, and Mickey panted out, “Not…fair…you and your fucking…long ass legs…fuck…”

Ian smirked at him as he pulled Mickey’s body to his, “You like my long ass legs.”

Mickey grinned up at him, “Yeah, I do…can’t wait to show you how much when we get home.”

They were both in happy spirits all the way back to Mickey’s apartment. When they walked into the living room, the scene in front of them caught both of them by surprise as they watched Lip and Mandy cuddling together on the couch.

It was Mickey who finally alerted Mandy and Lip to his and Ian’s presence by exclaiming, “What the fuck??”

Chapter Text

Mandy and Lip both startled at the sound of Mickey’s voice, but neither one of them made a move to leave their current position.

“Hey, Mick,” Mandy greeted him calmly, “how was work?”

“Don’t ‘how was work’ me, Mandy!! What is this?”

Mandy shrugged and leaned into Lip, “It’s new.”

Lip looked over at Ian, who had yet to say anything, and he said, “You got any sort of reaction?”

A huge grin broke out on Ian’s face as he shrugged, “Two of my favorite people are dating. What is there to say?”

“Am I the only person here who’s freaked out by this?” Mickey’s volume increased as he looked back and forth from Ian to Mandy and Lip.

Everyone shrugged, and Mandy said, “Yeah, I think so.”

Mickey took a deep breath like he was getting ready to yell, but he stopped himself and he looked at Lip, “So help me god, if you do anything, and I do mean anything, to hurt her…”

All it took was one look into Mickey’s eyes for Lip to see that he was serious, and he nodded, “Got it. Not going to.”

Mickey felt a hand slide into his, and he turned and met Ian’s eyes.

“Hey, uh, come with me for a second, Mick.”

He turned back to the couple on the couch, “We’ll be right back,” he tugged Mickey’s hand and led him into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Mick, what’s up? Why are you upset by this?”

Mickey sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “I…I don’t fucking know!! I just…she’s my sister, Ian!”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, and he’s my brother. What’s the problem, Mickey?”

Mickey let out a frustrated sigh, “Fuck…Mandy…she doesn’t exactly have stellar taste in guys, Ian.”

“When’s the last relationship she was in?”

Mickey shrugged and threw his hands up, “I don’t know! ’ve only been outta prison for about a year and a half.”

“Mick,” Ian sat down on the bed with his legs spread, “c’mere.”

Mickey sighed and walked over, positioning himself in between Ian’s legs, “What?”

“Mandy hasn’t really dated anyone since John.”

Mickey looked at Ian warily, “How do you know that?”

“She and I talked about it last week when you went to the grocery store. She said she hasn’t really been in a relationship with anyone since…you know…because she values herself too much to settle for less than what she knows she deserves.”

Mickey still looked unsure, “Yeah, I guess…”

“So, if Mandy thinks it’s worth giving Lip a shot, then maybe we should, too?”

Mickey sighed and looked down at Ian, “If he hurts her, will you let me kick his ass?”

Ian smiled at him and reached up to pull his head down to kiss him, “I’ll even help you.”

Their kiss was more of a peck, but it helped calm Mickey down considerably. He let out a big sigh against Ian’s mouth, and Ian could feel the tension drain from his body.

He opened his eyes, and they immediately locked with Ian’s. They both stood in the moment of the depths of unspoken emotions in both of their eyes until Ian smiled.

“Now,” he said, tapping Mickey’s hip with his fingertips, “I think we should give them a run for their money as far as which couple can cuddle the best.”

His statement got the intended reaction of a smile and an eye roll from Mickey, “Fuck, Gallagher…such a fucking dork.”

Ian grinned, “Yeah, yeah, come on.”

Mickey allowed Ian to get up from the bed and allowed himself to be dragged back into the living room where he and Ian folded themselves into the oversized recliner. Even though he felt like a complete sap, he couldn’t deny the happiness he felt with Ian’s arm around him as he fit himself against his side. He took a brief moment to nuzzle against Ian’s shoulder and cheek and was rewarded with a return nuzzle, followed by a kiss to the top of his head. He let out a sigh of contentment and hoped he could always find this sort of peace in the arms of the man next to him.

Much later that night, though, Mickey wished the man beside him could find some peace for himself as Ian had a nightmare for the 5^th night in a row. This one sounded different, though. Mickey knew he still had to wake him up from it, but this one started with whimpering and crying, then escalated into pleading before exploding in full-blown sobbing and wailing.

In the midst of the pleading, Mickey tried to wake him up.

“E! E! Ian…IAN!!!”

Still, there was no indication that Ian had registered Mickey’s voice, so Mickey reached out and grabbed his arm, and that’s when the loud sobbing started with guttural, “OH GOD NO!!! NO!!!”

Mickey tried to raise his voice over Ian’s sobbing and started hitting his arm in an attempt to break him out of it. Finally, when Mickey cut on a light and loudly said, “IAN!! WAKE UP!!!” did Ian finally open his eyes. When he saw the wild concern on Mickey’s face, he immediately curled in on himself and covered his face.

“Fuck…’m so sorry, Mick…’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…fuck…I fucking hate this. Please don’t be mad at me…”

Mickey reached for one of Ian’s hands and pulled it away from his face. He brought it to his lips and gentled his voice in an attempt to calm Ian.

“E…it’s okay. ‘m not mad, okay? Fucking worried, but ‘m not mad at you.”

Ian opened his eyes, sending big teardrops down his face, and he said in a small voice, “You mean it? You’re not mad?”

Mickey attempted a smile and shook his head, “Why would I be mad at you? I know what it’s like to have demons in your head you’re fighting against. Used to have nightmares all the time. I know you can’t control it, so why would you think I was mad?”

Ian averted his eyes, “I know you’re tired, Mick. Neither one of us has gotten a full night of sleep since last weekend. Even if I can’t control what’s happening in my head when I sleep, ‘m still the cause of it.”

Mickey reached down and lifted Ian’s chin until he made direct eye contact, “This is not your fault, Ian. No one is blaming you, okay?”

Ian nodded, and Mickey said, “Okay, you wanna try to tell me about this one? Or you wanna try to get some more sleep?”

Ian shook his head and clenched his eyes shut, sending more tears down his cheeks as he whispered, “Don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“Okay,” Mickey whispered back, “you don’t have to. Why don’t you scoot in a little closer to me, see if that helps like it has the other times?”

Ian nodded, and Mickey scooted back against him until his back was flush with Ian’s chest. Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s torso, and he sighed as he closed his eyes and tried to let the calm from the other man lull him to sleep.

Some time later—it could’ve been an hour or three—Ian was still no closer to sleep than he had been when he curled his body around Mickey’s. He sighed, feeling like it was hopeless, and he decided to get up and go out to the living room. He turned on the TV and immediately turned the volume down, hoping that maybe something would help him turn his mind off.

He froze when he heard a door open and shut quietly, and he went on immediate alert. He sighed in relief when Lip appeared at the entry to the living room.

“Jesus,” Ian hissed, “what the fuck, Lip?”

Lip shrugged, “Hey, you’re the one who’s in here watching TV at…Jesus, Ian…3 AM?? What’s going on?”

Ian sighed heavily, “Fucking nightmare.”

Lip nodded sympathetically as he walked over to the couch to sit down beside Ian, “You been having a lot of those lately?”

Ian scrubbed a hand through his hair, “Only every fucking night this week. I don’t know what to do about them, Lip, but I’ve gotta do something. I feel so bad. When I have them, they wake Mickey up, then he has to wake me up. I can’t keep doing this to him, Lip. It’s not fair that my fucked up dreams are waking him up every night.”

Lip sat in silence for a moment, then he said, “Ian, I know you’re in this ‘new love’ bubble or whatever right now, and I don’t wanna ruin it. But I do wanna remind you that you were in an abusive relationship for a year…a year, Ian. That’s not a short amount of time.”

Ian snorted, “Yeah, and?”

“And…I don’t think you’re dealing with it. I think you’re trying to pretend like it didn’t happen by jumping directly into playing house with Mickey.”

Tears stung the corners of Ian’s eyes, “He makes me really happy, Lip.”

Lip sighed, “Yeah, I know he does. From what it sounds like, the two of you have been dancing around each other pretty much since he started at the shelter. And ‘m not saying you shouldn’t be with him, Ian. ‘m just saying…maybe you’re rushing things a little here.”

Ian let out a deep breath, “So, what do I do?”

Lip thought for a moment, “’ve been thinking about moving outta my studio, trying to find something that’s a little bigger. I know you said you can’t afford your own place, but…I dunno…maybe we could split a two bedroom apartment? It wouldn’t be bougie West Side…”

Ian huffed out a laugh, “Fuck off with that,” and Lip chuckled before continuing, “But, it would be in a nicer neighborhood than where we grew up, maybe even somewhere in this area. You would have your own space. You could put some distance between you and Mickey, maybe actually date him instead of jumping straight into living with him.”

“You already got a place in mind?” Ian asked.

Lip shrugged, “I got a couple I’ve been looking at, but I can’t afford them on my own, so I need to know if you’re interested.”

Ian let out a deep breath and was silent for a few moments, “Can I think about it?”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, sure. My lease is up in about a month, so I need an answer pretty soon, but yeah, take a few days, maybe a week to think about it.”

Ian nodded and sent Lip a small smile, “Thanks, Lip.”

Lip returned the smile, “No problem, little brother,” he turned to the TV, “You gonna stay up and watch this shit? Or you gonna try to get some more sleep?”

Ian shook his head, “Nightmare’s still too much in my head, and I can’t turn it off, so ‘m gonna stay up, try to get it out, you know?”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, I get it,” he stood up and patted Ian on the shoulder, “Well, I am going to return to the super comfortable bed I was sleeping in and go back to sleep. See you in the morning, E.”

He turned to leave, and Ian responded with a distant, “Yeah, see ya.”

Even if the nightmare hadn’t still been lingering, Lip’s suggestion had Ian lost in thought. He could already feel his brain arguing both sides, and he knew he’d likely still be doing that when the sun came up.

Ian woke up to the feel of a warm hand on the side of his face. Even though it was a gentle touch, he startled, ready to defend against the unseen person touching him.

He quickly calmed when he opened his eyes and was met with concerned baby blues staring back at him.

“Hey,” Mickey murmured gently, “when’d you come out here?”

Ian sighed and leaned into his touch, “I dunno, maybe around 3? I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I came out here to watch TV. Thought it might help me get sleepy, and, uh, I guess it did. Sorry I didn’t make it back to bed.”

Mickey’s gaze was more affectionate now than concerned as he thumbed Ian’s cheek, “You don’t have to apologize. I’m just sorry that you fell asleep out here on this uncomfortable couch instead of in my nice warm bed.”

Ian sent him a small smile, “Yeah, me too.”

He leaned into Mickey’s hand for a moment or two more before moving to sit up on the couch. His back and neck protested his movements, and he tried to stretch and crack the twinges he felt in both.

“So, last night was a bad one, huh?”

Ian sighed and nodded as he looked down.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Ian scrubbed a hand over his face, “Really just wish I could forget about it.”

Mickey knelt on the floor in front of him, “Yeah, I know what that’s like. If only it were that simple, right?”

Ian gave him a wan smile and a nod of agreement.

“Ian…do you think…would it…what’re your thoughts about seeing a therapist about this?”

Ian shrugged, “I know it’s a lot to…”

Mickey cut him off, “That’s not what this is about, Ian. If I thought that sitting up with you for 15 minutes in the middle of the night every night from now until the world blows up would help you with this, I would absolutely do it with little to no complaints.”

Ian couldn’t help but smile a little at the end of Mickey’s impassioned statement, “‘Little to no complaints’?”

Mickey shrugged, “’m always gonna be a little grumpy when I first wake up,” Ian smiled a little more at that understatement, and Mickey continued, “but that’s not the point. The point is if I thought that’s all you needed, I would gladly do it. But I don’t think it is, Ian.”

Ian nodded and sighed, “You don’t think I can deal with it on my own.”

“That’s not what I said. I think you’ve been through some pretty awful shit over the past year, and I know from experience that shit like that stays with you long after it’s actually over.”

Ian nodded and shakily said, “Yeah, it definitely fuckin’ does.”

“Don’t be mad, but Geneva gave me a few names and numbers the other day of some people who specialize in relationship trauma. Thought one of them might help…if you’re open to it.”

Ian was quiet for what seemed like a while, then he finally sighed and said, “Lemme see the list.”

Mickey nodded and tapped him on the knee before disappearing back to his bedroom. A couple of minutes later, he returned with the slip of paper Geneva had given him and handed it to Ian.

Ian looked down at the paper, then back at Mickey, “You really think I need to do this?”

Mickey shrugged, “I think it could help. Helped me when I talked to the therapist in prison. Makes me feel a little like a pussy to say this, but I didn’t have to put on a face for her, you know? I didn’t have to act like I was this Milkovich badass. I could let that part of me down, let her see all the shit behind it. Helped to be able to get it out.”

Ian nodded, “I’ll give ‘em a call on Monday, I guess.”

Mickey nodded and smiled at him, “Good. I think it’ll be a good thing, Ian.”

He covered one of Ian’s hands with his and gave him a warm smile when Ian looked at him.

Ian returned the smile, and Mickey said, “Now, how about you grab some breakfast, take your meds, then come cuddle the shit outta me while you tell me what last night’s nightmare was about?”

Ian’s smile grew, and he nodded. Mickey started to pull away so he could go do all those things, but Ian grabbed his arm to stop him. Mickey turned back with a question in his eyes, and Ian stood up.

He enveloped Mickey in his arms, crushing him against his body, and he whispered, “Thanks, Mick…for everything.”

Mickey thought about asking what Ian meant by “everything,” but he ultimately decided to just go with what Ian had said, and he nodded against his chest.

“Of course, Gallagher,” Mickey pulled back from his embrace, then smacked his ass, “Now go eat, take your meds, then come to bed. See ya in there.”

He turned with a mock salute and headed back to his room while Ian set out to take care of what he needed before heading in there with him.

“So, lemme get this straight…in your nightmare, Adam showed up to Lip’s party with the cops. They arrested both me and Lip because his pansy ass accused us both of hitting him. You tried to fight them off and get Adam to tell them to stop. Before they could get us in the car, though, Adam shot and killed both of us.”

Ian nodded pitifully against Mickey’s chest, a stray tear sliding down his cheek. They had foregone their usual cuddle position of Ian spooning Mickey for Ian laying with his head on Mickey’s chest. As much as Mickey loved to be wrapped up in the ginger’s arms, he recognized that Ian was the one who needed to feel comforted and safe this time.

“It felt so real, Mick,” Ian whispered brokenly, “was like I was watching my entire world be destroyed right in front of me.”

Mickey sighed as he held Ian to him a little tighter, “Well, I’ll be damned if it goes down like that, Gallagher. Telling ya, ‘m gonna start packing everywhere I go just in case one of your nightmares starts to unfold, and I need to take a bitch down.”

Ian couldn’t help but chuckle against Mickey’s chest, “You realize you still have 6 months of probation left, right, Mick? You can’t legally ‘pack’ anything.”

Mickey turned to kiss the top of Ian’s head, “Oh, Gallagher, did growing up in the South Side teach you nothing? Shit’s only illegal if you get caught.”

Ian smiled against Mickey’s chest, then Mickey said, “Now, how’s about you close those pretty green eyes and get some rest? We’re gonna need a nap before we go throw down at Lip’s birthday party tonight.”

Ian smiled and nodded before snuggling into Mickey’s chest. After telling Mickey about his nightmare and being able to hear and feel his heartbeat as he did, sleep came a little easier for him than it had the night before.

Chapter Text

Ian and Mickey both woke up feeling more rested and refreshed than they had that morning. They started getting ready for Lip’s party so they could swing by the store for some beer and chips before the party got started.

Mickey remembered Kev and Vee from the Alibi, but he had yet to meet the rest of the Gallagher crew. He was a little nervous but also happy. He understood it was a big deal to be introduced as Ian’s…friend? Friend with benefits? Boyfriend?

They hadn’t really landed on an official title, but maybe just obviously being there as a couple was label enough.

By the time they got to the Gallagher house, the music was already pumping, both inside and outside. Vee and Debbie were decorating, Kevin was manning the grill just off the back steps, Carl and Liam were trying to hang a ‘Happy Birthday’ banner in the kitchen, and Franny was solely focused on “protecting” the cake by not taking her eyes off of it.

Vee was the first to spot them, and her voice rang out above everything else, “Well, look who the South Side drug in…Ian Gallagher, as I live and breathe!”

Ian smiled at V’s voice, “Hey, Vee, how’s it going?”

“Get your tall, redheaded ass over here and give me a hug!”

When Ian reached her, he picked her up in a big hug, and she squealed with delight. As soon as he set her down, she turned her attention to Mickey, “Now, are you going to officially introduce your man to us, Ian?”

Ian blushed, but his grin almost split his face as he said, “Mickey, this is…everyone. Everyone, this is Mickey.”

Vee reached out to put her hand on Mickey’s shoulder, “Mickey, welcome to the family. We’re a hell of a lot happier to have you here than that asshat Ian was with. Eugh!” she said with a full body shiver, “Hope we never see his ass again.”

The smile stayed on Ian’s face as he said, “No worries on that front, Vee. I don’t plan on letting this one go anytime soon.”

Mickey blushed, and he felt himself melt a little under the affection in the green eyes that were fixed on him.

He bit his lip and nodded, and while everyone else continued party prepping, he leaned in and quietly said, “Same, Gallagher.”

When Lip got to the house and walked in, everyone yelled, “Happy birthday, Lip!!!”

Lip greeted everyone on his way in, and both Ian and Mickey noticed Mandy hanging by the door of the Gallagher house.

Mickey looked at Ian and gestured toward the door, letting him know where he was headed. Ian nodded and decided to give the siblings a little space.

“Hey, Mands, whatcha doing over here?”

Mandy crossed her arms and shrugged, “Just a lotta people, you know?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I know. Fucking Gallaghers, man. But still, this is your…whatever he is…birthday party, so gonna have to meet them sometime.”

She still looked unsure, so Mickey raised an eyebrow, “Listen, if they welcomed me into their little corner of the South Side, they’re gonna fucking love you. C’mon!”

Mandy finally rolled her eyes and smiled, “Fuck…okay.”

As soon as Mandy walked into the kitchen, all eyes turned on her. Lip swooped in to save her and said, “Everyone, this is Mandy. She’s with me. Mandy, this is everyone.”

All the Gallagher siblings smiled at Mandy, greeting her kindly, and Debbie smirked, “Apparently this is how we introduce girlfriends and boyfriends now?”

Lip turned to Mandy and grinned, “Well, yeah.”

Mandy immediately felt more comfortable just knowing that Lip wasn’t trying to pass off their relationship as a friendship, and everyone made sure she felt accepted into their fold along with Mickey.

The party was in full swing, and Kevin was talking with Lip in the kitchen.

“Hey, man, you still living in that small ass studio?” he asked.

Lip nodded, “Yeah, but my lease is up at the end of next month. Thinking about moving some place a little bigger.”

“Oh, yeah? Gonna get a place where the bedroom is, you know, an actual bedroom?”

“Man, fuck you,” Lip said, laughing, “might be getting a 2 bedroom.”

“Oh, no shit? Did Born Free suddenly hit the mother lode? Start paying their employees way more for you to be able to afford that?”

“Nah,” Lip shook his head, “might be getting a place with Ian.”

“Oh, that’s cool, man. Where are you and Ian thinking about moving to?”

Unfortunately, there was a pause in between songs, and Kevin’s voice could be heard by the entire party.

Everyone turned to look at Kevin, except for Mickey, who turned to Ian, hurt obvious in his eyes, and quietly asked “You’re…you’re moving?”

Ian’s eyes shot daggers at Lip, who mouthed the word, “Sorry.” The information was out of the bag, though, so now, it was up to Ian to do damage control. He led Mickey outside so they could have more privacy.

“Mick,” Ian sighed, “nothing’s been decided on yet, okay? Lip talked to me about it early this morning, and I told him I would think about it.”

“What,” Mickey swallowed audibly, “uh, what does that mean for us?”

Ian smiled gently at him, “Nothing would be different, Mickey. We’d still be together…if you wanna be. If I moved in with Lip, though, it would be more like we’re dating, you know? I could come pick you up and take you out.”

Logically, Mickey knew that Ian had a point. They had gone from being flirtatious friends straight to living together without any of the stuff in between. But emotionally, it felt like Ian was changing their relationship without letting Mickey know.

“So…what would…when would you be moving? Where would you be moving to?” Mickey was still trying to wrap his head around the information.

“Well, Lip’s lease is up at the end of next month, and, uh, I dunno yet. This idea isn’t even 24 hours old yet, Mick.”

Mickey swallowed and nodded, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but Ian could see straight through him.

“Are you mad at me? Please don’t be mad. Doing this could be really good for me, Mickey.”

Mickey nodded again, “Why didn’t you talk to me about it? Were you going to talk to me about it?”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, I was going to talk to you after I had more time to think about it. But I didn’t really know how to bring it up.”

They stood silently for a few moments, then Vee called out, “Okay, it’s time for cake!”

Ian started to head in, and he turned back to offer his hand to Mickey, who shook his head.

“I, uh, I think I need a minute. I’ll be in there in a few, okay?”

Ian was upset that what had happened had affected Mickey so much, but he nodded and tried to smile, saying, “Yeah, okay.”

He gave Mickey a moment and headed in with everyone else.

Mickey listened as they sang “Happy Birthday” to Lip, and he walked in, staying to the outside of the group. He tried to get back into the spirit of the party, but the happiness he’d felt at being officially introduced to Ian’s family had plummeted to a sense of dread that Ian was trying to put distance between them but didn’t know how to say it.

He didn’t want to ruin the celebration, so when they started cutting the cake, he slipped out back for a cigarette. The door opened quietly, and he looked back, preparing himself to have to put on a mask like he was okay when he wasn’t.

Thankfully, it was just Mandy, and he relaxed when he saw that.

She walked over and sat down next to him on the steps, “How’re you doing after that information bomb?”

Mickey huffed a humorless laugh, “How do you think ‘m doing?”

Mandy sighed, “I think you’re probably reading more into it than you should.”

“How so?”

“Mick, I know you have this kind of savior complex when it comes to the people you love. You swooped in to save me from John, and you’re doing it again with Ian. You may not understand it because you weren’t really around to see it after you went to prison, but I had to learn to stand on my own. Being dependent on the men I dated contributed to why I stayed in those abusive relationships. I haven’t talked to him about it, but I guarantee Ian needs to be able to do the same thing. Right now, he’s gone from living with that abusive asshole straight to living with you. I know he’s been having nightmares pretty much every night. As much as you want to, you can’t save him from those, Mickey. He has to figure out how to deal with it.”

Mickey sniffled. He knew Mandy was making a lot of good points. He was just afraid that if he gave Ian space to work on things, they wouldn’t be able to come back together. He wanted to be beside Ian while he healed and dealt with things, not apart from him.

Mickey was quiet for a few moments before asking, “Did you know?”

Mandy shrugged, “Lip and I have talked about it some. He was complaining that his apartment’s too small, but that he couldn’t afford a bigger one on his own. He asked me what the plan was for Ian, and I told him I didn’t think that was something the two of you had talked about.”

Mickey nodded, and Mandy continued, “No one’s saying you guys have to break up or anything like that, Mick. Just take a step back from the immediate intensity of where things are now.”

Mickey attempted to smile, and Mandy patted him on the back, “’m gonna go back inside. You gonna stay out here?”

Mickey shrugged, “One more smoke.”

Mandy went back inside, and after Mickey smoked another cigarette, he walked back into the kitchen. The room was silent, and Mickey looked around, trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

He got his answer when he saw two police officers in the entryway, and one of them said, “We have a warrant for the arrest of Mickey Milkovich and Phillip Gallagher for charges of assault on one Adam Cox.”

The party erupted in chaos.

“What the fuck?”

“Like fuck we did anything to that prick!”

“What the…what happened, Ian?”

“God, that guy’s a fucking asshole!”

“We didn’t do anything!”

“They didn’t do anything!”

Lip and Mickey looked at each other and realized that if they tried to run, things would be worse. The officers moved further into the house and turned both of them around to handcuff them as they read them their rights.

Suddenly, Ian remembered something, hoping he could appeal to the longstanding Gallagher/South Side connection with one of the cops, Tony Markovich.

“Tony! Hold on! Hold on!”

Tony turned and looked at Ian, “Listen, whatever it is can be handled at the station. We’ve gotta take them in, Ian.”

“I just need…Mick, where’s your phone? I need your phone!”

Mickey nodded down to his pocket, and Ian reached for it.

“Why do you need that?” Tony asked suspiciously.

“Because,” Ian replied, “I have my own assault charge to file down at the station.”

Tony was right. They didn’t really have any other choice but to take Mickey and Lip down to the station, but he told everyone else they could come down there and wait to see what was going to happen.

As soon as they all got down to the station, Ian went up to the counter, “Excuse me, I have charges of assault I need to file against someone, and I need to talk to someone about having the charges dropped against two people who just came in.”

The woman at the desk sighed and said, “Who are the charges of assault against?”

“Adam Cox,” Ian hurriedly replied.

She looked Ian over, “Do you have proof of the assault?”

“Yeah,” Ian nodded, then pulled up Mickey’s phone. He didn’t know the passcode, so he looked helplessly at Mandy who nodded and walked over and unlocked it. Ian scrolled through the pictures until he got to the ones Mandy had suggested they take that night when Mickey brought him home.

He handed the phone to the woman, “These were taken the night they happened, which was two weeks ago.”

“And you’re saying that Adam Cox is responsible for this?”

“Yes,” Ian nodded emphatically, “not only is he responsible for those, but I was in a relationship with him for a year. During most of that time, he was abusive…more than once.”

The woman nodded as she filled out the paperwork. She finished, then looked back at Ian, “It’ll take a few days to get this filed and bring him in on these charges. Who are the two people whose charges you want dropped?”

“Mickey Milkovich and Phillip Gallagher,” Ian responded.

The woman clicked some keys on the keyboard, “Looks like they were both charged with assault on…Adam Cox?”

“They were,” Ian hurriedly replied, “but it wasn’t how it sounds. They were just trying to defend me.”

“I see,” replied the woman, “well, you’ll have to talk to the arresting officers and the public defender’s office about that.”

“Are they back there?” Ian asked desperately, “Can we see them?”

“I’ll check. They’re probably filling out the paperwork on the arrest now. I’ll tell them you’d like to speak with them.”

Ian nodded, and when it became obvious the woman was finished with their interaction, he started pacing. He paced the length of the waiting area of the police station.

Mandy tried to get him to calm down, “Ian, why don’t you sit down? Pacing isn’t going to make the time go faster.”

Ian shook his head, “Can’t, Mandy. Gotta keep moving.”

Finally, a little over an hour later, Tony opened the door and stuck his head out, “Ian? Did you want to talk to me about something?”

Ian nodded and handed the phone to Mandy to unlock before heading for the door, not even bothering to turn back.

Tony led him to one of the interrogation rooms and gestured for him to take a seat.

“Now, what’s this about?”

“Tony, the only reason Adam’s charging Lip and Mickey with assault is to get back at me.”

Tony looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“I was in a relationship with Adam, and it ended…badly.”

“How badly?”

Ian brought out the phone, which thankfully was still unlocked so he could bring up the pictures.

He brought up the pictures of his injuries, “This badly.”

Tony let out a small gasp, “Damn, Ian…Adam did this to you?”

Ian nodded, “It wasn’t the first time, either.”

“When did you end your relationship with him?”

“This happened a couple of weeks ago, but my biggest concern that night was getting out of there and away from him. I guess I saw him about a week later outside of Mickey’s apartment.”

Tony nodded, “How do you know Mickey?”

“We work together at Hopeful Place. It’s a youth shelter over on…”

“Oh, yeah, I know where that is. They…I mean all of you…do good work over there.”

Ian smiled at the compliment before remembering why he was talking to Tony.

“So, see, Tony? Lip and Mickey didn’t do anything wrong. They were just trying to defend me and keep Adam from hurting me.”

Tony was quiet for a few moments, then he said, “Listen, Ian, I believe you…I don’t have any reason not to, but here’s where things get complicated. After I tell my captain about this, Lip can probably be released to you tonight. But Mickey…he has a record, Ian. He’s out on parole, and he still has 6 months of probation left. Even if it was to defend you, if he threw the first punch, it’s still assault. I know that’s shitty, but…”

Ian deflated at that information, “Really, Tony? The man I lo-…care about defends me against a prick of a guy who was actively beating me, and he’s the one who gets in trouble for it? What the fuck?!”

Tony sighed, “I know, Ian. It sucks, and it’s not fair. Tell you what…I’ll talk to my captain about him, too, see what he says, okay?”

Ian nodded, a little relieved that Tony was agreeing to go to bat for both of them. He was forever grateful that Tony didn’t hold his failed attempt at a relationship with Fiona against any of the rest of them.

Ian wasn’t sure how long he waited, but finally, Tony came back in and sat down, “Okay, here’s what the captain agreed to. He’ll release Lip to you tonight, but Mickey has to stay til tomorrow morning. You can come pick him up then, but make sure to bring some bail money with you. I have no idea how much, but I’d plan on at least $300.”

Ian nodded, “Thanks, Tony.”

Tony shrugged, “Wish I coulda done more, Ian.”

Ian gave him a small smile, “I know. Can I at least see him before I go?”

Tony sighed, “’m really not supposed to…”

“Please, Tony? Please?”

Ian’s voice broke on his 2^nd “please,” and that was what convinced Tony.

“I can give you 2 minutes, ok?”

A tear rolled down Ian’s cheek, “Thank you, Tony, just…thank you.”

Tony nodded, then walked over to the door. He opened it and looked down the hallway to make sure no one else was out there. He turned back to Ian, “Follow me and be quiet.”

Ian nodded and crept out the door behind him. He was as quiet as possible, and Tony led him back to where the holding cells were. There were some other people who had been brought in, but Mickey was in a cell by himself.

As soon as Ian laid eyes on him, tears started welling up, “Mickey…,” he managed to whisper brokenly.

Mickey looked up, and the relief that flooded his face was palpable as Ian came up to the bars.

“Two minutes, Ian,” Tony reminded him.

Ian nodded and turned back to Mickey, “Mick, ‘m sorry…’m so sorry you’re in here.”

Mickey gave him a small smile, “Why’re you sorry? You aren’t the asshole who put me in here.”

A couple of tears escaped Ian’s eyes, “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have hit Adam, and he wouldn’t be pressing charges against you right now.”

“Gallagher…” Mickey trailed off until Ian looked up and made eye contact with him, “Whatever happens from here, it was worth it to get you outta there, okay?”

More tears rolled down Ian’s cheeks, and he said, “I don’t know about that, Mick, but thanks.”

Mickey smiled gently at him, “So, what’re they saying? Any idea how long I’m gonna be in here?”

Ian sniffled, trying to get his tears under control, “Tony said to come back tomorrow morning with bail money, so…I guess that means they’ll release you tomorrow, but I don’t know about anything beyond that.”

Mickey nodded, and it was around that time that Tony came back, “Time’s up, Ian.”

Ian nodded, then both he and Mickey leaned in and kissed as best as they could through the bars.

Ian reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mick.”

Mickey tried to smile at him, “See you tomorrow, Gallagher.”

Ian left and held it together until he was outside the police station with Mandy and Lip. It was then that he broke down in tears and sobs, and Mandy and Lip both enveloped him in a hug.

Mandy was the first one to try and comfort Ian, “Hey, Ian, it’s okay. It’s just for one night, right? Trust me when I say Mickey has been through much worse.”

Ian shook his head, “But this is because of me, Mands. He’s in there because of me, because he stepped into a shitty situation and tried to protect me.”

“Ian…,” Mandy trailed off, not knowing what to say because even though no one blamed him, what Ian was saying wasn’t exactly untrue.

Lip jumped in, “Look, Ian, let’s see what needs to be done to get the charges against Mickey dropped, yeah? We’ll come back tomorrow and take it from there.”

Ian nodded and managed to get his sobs under control.

Lip put his arm around Ian’s shoulders, “Let’s go get some rest, little brother.”

Ian leaned into Lip as they all made their way back to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment.

Both Lip and Mandy checked in with Ian before he went to take his meds, but he assured them both he’d be fine. He took his meds, then went to the bed he’d been sharing with Mickey. He climbed in and was immediately aware of the fact that something (or someone, in this case) was missing. He slept on Mickey’s side of the bed, surrounding himself with his scent, hoping it would comfort and relax him. But all it did was remind him that Mickey wasn’t there, and he buried his face into Mickey’s pillows and sobbed until he exhausted himself and the nightly medications took effect enough for him to fall asleep.

In his dreams that night, he dreamt that they had gone back to the station the following day only to discover that overnight, Mickey had been transferred somewhere else due to a late-night decision from a judge that he’d have to go back to prison. Ian woke up screaming, “NO! That’s not fair! You can’t do that!! NO!! NO!!”

The door to the bedroom was thrown open, and Ian saw both Mandy and Lip standing there panicked. When they saw that he was physically okay, they both sighed. Lip turned to look at Mandy, and she nodded as they both came over to sit on the bed with Ian.

Ian sighed, knowing that neither one of them would let him get away with not talking about it the way Mickey did.

They both just sat there watching him quietly until he finally sighed and gave in, “We went back to the station to pick up Mickey, but a judge had already decided that he’d be transferred to prison.”

Mandy reached out to give him a hug, and Lip said, “That’s not how the legal system works, Ian. What’ll probably happen is they’ll release him today on a promise to appear, then we’ll meet with the public defender who’ll be handling his case.”

Ian let out a huge sigh, “But they’re releasing him today, right?”

Lip looked at Mandy, then back at Ian and shrugged, “There’s no reason to believe otherwise. Isn't that what Tony told you?”

Ian nodded, and Lip gave him a small smile, “Okay, then, I’m sure that’s what’s going to happen.”

Ian gave him a half smile, and Lip said, “Think you can go back to sleep?”

Ian shrugged, and Lip said, “Okay, well, try. Just remember Mickey’ll be back in here with you tomorrow, okay?”

Ian nodded, and both Lip and Mandy gave him a hug before retreating back to Mandy’s bedroom.

Ian was grateful for Lip’s matter-of-fact responses, but he couldn’t shake the feelings of despair and anger and sadness that lingered from his dream. He sighed to himself, snuggled back into Mickey’s pillows, and closed his eyes as he tried to fall back to sleep for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

The next time Ian opened his eyes, he could tell it was lighter outside, and even though his sleep had been restless, he was thankful that at least more time had passed, which meant that it was closer to time to go pick up Mickey.

He got up, stretched, and went out to the kitchen. He looked at the clock on the microwave and saw that it was close to 8 AM. The first thing he did after greeting Lip and Mandy was ask them, “What time can we go to the station?”

Both Lip and Mandy grinned at his obvious impatience to go pick up Mickey, and Mandy shrugged and said, “What time do you wanna go up there?”

“Now?”

Lip responded, “Why don’t you get some breakfast, take a shower, and then we’ll go?”

Ian nodded and immediately went in search of breakfast food. He ate it in a hurry, then headed for the bathroom for his meds and a shower. He was dressed and ready to go by 8:30, and his eagerness to hurry Mandy and Lip was almost palpable.

Finally, he sighed impatiently and said, “Look, I’ve gotta go by an ATM and get out bail money anyway, so why don’t I do that, and I’ll just meet you guys there?”

He left before they could respond, and he hurriedly headed to the ATM, got out the suggested amount of cash, then quickly walked to the L to take it to the station.

By the time he got to the station, it was almost 9, and he rushed into the station, already out of breath from jogging from the L and anticipating being able to touch Mickey and see that he was okay and safe.

“Can I help you?” the officer at the desk asked.

“Mickey…Milkovich…’m here to pick him up.”

The officer took his time in pulling up the record, “I’ll let one of the officers know to start the process of releasing him. Bail is $100.”

Ian gladly forked over the cash, then asked, “Do you, uh, do you know what happens from here?”

The officer looked at him, “Mr. Milkovich is being released on a promise to appear. He’s been assigned a public defender, and his court date is in 2 months.”

Ian nodded. He still had so many questions, but the most important thing was for him to see Mickey. He paced back and forth a little, his eyes on the door Mickey would be coming through.

It was about 30 minutes later that he heard a buzzer, and the officer announced, “Mr. Milkovich is coming out now.”

The door opened, and Ian immediately felt a sense of relief as Mickey walked out. He couldn’t help himself from walking over to him and wrapping his arms around him.

“Fuck…you okay? I missed you,” Ian whispered against the side of his head.

Mickey sagged into his arms, “Yeah, 'm okay...was only one night, Red.”

Ian held on for a few more moments, then Mickey sighed, “Fucking missed you, too.”

Ian pulled back from him but didn’t kiss him the way he was aching to. He figured it would be best to wait until they were back at Mickey’s apartment before doing that.

They walked out of the station, and Mickey turned to Ian, “What’re your plans for the day?”

Ian shrugged, “Was planning to be with you.”

Mickey nodded, “Let’s go get some fucking pancakes, then I wanna go take a nap. ‘m starving, and I didn’t sleep for shit last night.”

Ian gave him a big smile and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “Sounds perfect.”

No sooner had they sat down in a nearby diner than Ian’s phone buzzed. He picked it up and saw that he had a text from Lip.

Hey, man, we just got to the station. Where are you?

Already bailed him out. We’re getting breakfast now.  

Well, damn, alright. Can Mandy and I join you?  

“Hey,” Ian got Mickey’s attention, “Mandy and Lip wanna come join us for breakfast. That okay with you?”

Mickey shrugged, “Long as they’re not too fucking annoying. If they are, I reserve the right to kick them out of our booth.”

Ian chuckled, “Noted.”

He texted Lip back and told him to come on.

When they arrived, Ian had joined Mickey on his side of the booth, and they had already ordered.

“Hey, thanks for waiting, assholes,” Mandy said, with no heat in her tone.

Mickey shrugged, “Fucking starving, bitch. What’d you expect?”

Mandy chuckled, “’m just kidding, Mick.”

Lip and Mandy placed their orders, and after the waitress had walked away from the table, Mandy turned her attention to Mickey, “So, what’s the status of everything?”

Mickey shrugged and pulled out a piece of paper from his jeans, “’s all on this. Court date in 2 months. PD’ll be in touch before that to go over possible outcomes. I dunno, I’ll look at it later. Right now, I just wanna eat and go climb in my bed.”

Mandy nodded and dropped the subject, not asking the question that was on everyone’s mind:

Was it possible that Mickey would have to go back to prison?

After they finished breakfast, they all headed back to Mandy and Mickey’s apartment. Ian and Mickey headed straight for Mickey’s bedroom, both feeling exhausted at not having slept well the previous night. They undressed to their underwear and slipped into bed beside each other.

Mickey immediately relaxed at the feel of Ian beside him, and he was asleep within minutes. Ian tried to go to sleep, but questions kept running through his mind. He was finally able to relax and closed his eyes, succumbing to the exhaustion that lingered from the night before.

The next time either one of them opened their eyes, they could tell the sun was much lower in the sky than it had been when they had gone to sleep.

It had been around 11 by the time they had gotten back to the apartment, and now, it was…Ian reached for his phone to look…4:30 in the afternoon. Ian’s eyes grew wide at just how long they had slept, but as Mickey snuggled back into him, he couldn’t find it in himself to care about how much time had passed.

“Hmmmm,” Mickey hummed contentedly in the back of his throat, “how’d you sleep?”

Ian wrapped his arm back around Mickey’s middle and pulled him as close as he could, “So much better with you here.”

Mickey huffed a laugh, “Yeah, I know how you feel.”

They lay together in silence for a few minutes before Ian said, “I think ‘m gonna call those therapists G gave you numbers for tomorrow when we get to work.”

“Yeah?” Mickey was pleasantly surprised. He knew Ian had said he would contact them, but he fully expected him to do it reluctantly, if at all.

He felt Ian nod against the back of his head as he responded, “Yeah. ‘ve gotta find what I did with that slip of paper, but yeah, I think it’s time,” he tightened his hold on Mickey, “Let’s stay here for another few minutes. Might’ve only been for one night, but god, I missed this, Mick.”

Mickey smiled in agreement as he wrapped his hand up with Ian’s and sighed, “Me, too, Gallagher. Me fucking too.”

They got up not too terribly long after that and ventured out to the living room. They were surprised no one was in there, but then they heard sounds from the kitchen.

They walked to the doorway and saw Lip and Mandy laughing and fixing dinner together. Both Ian and Mickey looked at each other and smiled at the sight before Mickey interrupted them.

“Yo, what’s for dinner?”

Mandy stayed over at the stove and didn’t even bother looking over her shoulder before she responded, “Took you long enough. We were wondering if you were just going to stay in your room for the rest of the night.”

“Nah,” Mickey replied, “too hungry. So, what’re we having?”

“I think what Mickey meant,” Ian started as he threw Mickey a look, “is can we do anything to help with dinner?”

Mickey scoffed, “That mighta been what you meant.”

Mandy interjected before either one of them could say anything else, “Thanks, but no. We’ve got it. How do burgers and homemade French fries sound?”

Mickey’s stomach let out an audible growl, and everyone laughed.

“Does that answer your question?”

Lip and Mandy finished making dinner, and the four of them sat and ate and talked and laughed like none of them had a care in the world.

Afterward, they all watched TV for a bit before getting ready for bed. Lip and Mandy headed to her room, and Mickey turned to Ian.

“You tired?”

Ian shrugged, “Honestly? ‘m still pretty awake from all the sleeping we did earlier.”

Mickey nodded and tried to say, “Yeah, me too,” but his yawn in the middle of that statement betrayed him.

Ian wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “Mick, you’re obviously still exhausted. Why don’t you go on to bed, and I’ll be there in a little bit?”

Mickey yawned again, “You sure? I can stay up for a bit until you’re tired.”

Ian chuckled, “No, you can’t. Go to bed. I’ll be in there in a little bit, ok?”

Mickey nodded and yawned again, “Fuck…yeah, ‘m gonna go to bed. Promise to cuddle me when you come in there?”

Ian leaned in for a kiss, “Of course.”

Mickey smiled and got up and headed to the bathroom, then to his bedroom to get ready for bed.

Ian let out a deep sigh as soon as Mickey left the living room. He settled in to watch some mindless TV, and it wasn’t too much longer before his eyes started feeling heavy. He weighed his options but ultimately decided to get comfy on the couch. He was bound and determined that Mickey would get a full night’s sleep if he had anything to say about it.

The nightmares were still with him that night, but somehow, he woke up on his own in the middle of it. The adrenaline from the nightmare coursed through his body, but he paused for a second to see if anyone else had woken up. Once he was satisfied that his nightmares hadn’t disturbed anyone else, he curled up on the couch and allowed the emotions of it to fully hit him as he quietly cried into one of the pillows.

The next morning, Ian felt a hand on his shoulder. He startled awake and saw that it was Mandy leaning over him.

“Hey,” he greeted her.

The concern on her face was obvious as she said, “You fall asleep out here?”

Ian stretched and sat up, cracking his neck and his back as he did, “Yeah, I guess so. Wasn’t tired until I was, then fell asleep before I realized it.”

Mandy didn’t look like she believed him, but she let it go, “Okay…if you say so. Why don’t you go crawl in with my brother and get a couple more hours of sleep in an actual bed?”

Ian smiled at her sheepishly, “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. See you later, Mandy. Have a good day at work.”

He got up and ambled over to Mickey’s bedroom. After the door shut behind him, Mandy sighed, “Yeah, you too.”

Ian entered Mickey’s bedroom as quietly as he could and stripped down to his boxers. He pulled back the covers and slid almost silently into his side of the bed until his body was flush behind Mickey’s. He gently wrapped his arm around Mickey’s middle. Mickey sighed and snuggled back into Ian’s body.

Having already had his nightly nightmare, Ian was finally able to settle in for 2 hours of deep sleep, completely dream-free.

When he woke up, it was to the stirring of Mickey’s body against his. He kept his eyes closed as he nuzzled Mickey’s neck, breathing him in.

He felt, rather than heard, Mickey chuckle before he asked, “Did you just smell me, Gallagher?”

Ian could feel himself blush, and he huffed out a breath, “So what if I did?”

“’m just sayin’ there’s no possible way I can smell good right now. Was so fucking tired yesterday, the only things I could think about were sleep and food. I think the last time I took a shower was Saturday before Lip’s birthday thing.”

Ian breathed him in again, “You smell like Mickey.”

Mickey was silent for a moment, “’s that a good thing, or…?”

Ian nodded against him, “You smell like home.”

Mickey gasped quietly at the sentimentality of Ian’s words. He couldn’t think of a way to respond to such a heartfelt statement, so he turned his head up so Ian could meet his mouth with a kiss.

They kissed once, slowly and softly, then Ian pulled back, “I think we could both stand to brush our teeth, though.”

Mickey huffed out a laugh, “Man, fuck off with that.”

Ian laughed at his response, and Mickey tapped his arm, “Alright, alright, let’s grab a shower and start getting ready for work.”

Ian’s arm traveled down a little further until he knowingly brushed against Mickey’s morning erection before wrapping his hand around it and starting to stroke, “Mmmmm, but what about this?”

“Ah-ahhhh…mmph…fuck…that feels pretty good…”

“Want me to keep going?”

“Fuck…yessss…but if you do…fuck, just like that…we can’t shower…Jesus…really…need…a shower…Gallagher…”

Ian took pity on him and stopped his teasing strokes. Mickey whined in the back of his throat until Ian said huskily, “’ll make you a deal. Shower, but I get to take care of you during.”

Mickey rolled over to his back so he could reach Ian easier, “Now, in what world am I going to say no to that?”

Ian grinned and dropped a peck of a kiss onto his lips before they both hopped out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

After they finished, they both got dressed in Mickey’s bedroom.

“Hey,” Mickey said, “what time did you come to bed last night? I don’t remember hearing you come in at all.”

“I dunno,” Ian replied, “Didn’t check the clock when I came in. You were sleeping hard, though.”

Mickey was silent for a second, “Huh…woke up around 2 this morning, and you weren’t in bed.”

Ian shrugged, “Woke up and had to piss. Must’ve been around that time, I guess.”

Mickey was wary of everything Ian was saying. Logically, it made sense. After not sleeping while he was being held at the police station, he had slept hard the previous night, he knew that. But when he had woken up in the middle of the night and reached beside him, the bed had been cold. Not the cooling temperature left after someone had gotten up for a few minutes, but the temperature of no one having been lying in that spot at all.

Instead of calling Ian on it, Mickey decided to let it go and trailed off their conversation with a, “Yeah, I guess so.”

They headed into work, and just like the previous week, everything seemed fine with Ian…to the untrained eye. Even Ash and Geneva didn’t pick up on the subtleties that Mickey did in the differences in Ian’s behavior. Sure, he was the same friendly, compassionate, gentle redhead Mickey had met when he first came to Hopeful Place, but Mickey could now tell when Ian was trying just a little too hard to make everyone believe that he was okay and nothing was wrong.

And that’s exactly what he was doing now.

Mickey couldn’t quite put into words exactly what it was that Ian was doing that let him know that, and that’s why he mostly just observed Ian when he was busy doing something or interacting with someone else.

Ian, for his part, did his dead level best to act like he was fine, like he wasn’t worried about Mickey’s charges, like he wasn’t still having nightmares, like he wasn’t worried about what would happen once his charges against Adam were filed. God, he could feel the constant barely veiled looks of concern coming from Ash, Geneva, even Mary in her own way, so he doubled down on his efforts to throw himself into the work at the shelter and pretended like he didn’t see them.

Deep down, he knew that even if they were even the slightest bit fooled by his efforts, Mickey wasn’t. It was easy for Ian to pretend with Mickey during the day, though. There were things to get done, guardians to call, cases to follow up on, small groups to run, kids to talk to, dinner to fix, dishes to clean.

In the evenings, though…

After being caught sleeping on the couch by Mandy the first time, Ian decided to handle the situation differently starting that following night. He still stayed up and watched TV until he ultimately fell asleep on the couch to some stupid sitcom or infomercial. After his nightly nightmare would wake him up, he’d take a few minutes to sob into his hands, then he’d take deep breaths until he regained control. He’d go to the bathroom, dry his tears, splash water on his face, dry off, then go quietly slip into bed next to Mickey.

He didn’t know if Mickey was aware of what he was doing, but if he was, he hadn't said anything about it yet.

That Wednesday, Mickey got a call from his assigned public defender. His name was Matt, and he sounded nice on the phone. He told Mickey he would be reaching out to the prosecutor to see if they could reach a plea, or even better, if they would be willing to drop Mickey’s charges altogether considering the charges that were being brought against their client. He told Mickey he’d be in touch as soon as he knew something.

It helped alleviate everyone’s fears a little, knowing that Matt was focused on the outcome of the charges not meaning more jail time for Mickey.

The end of the week brought a school holiday with it, so the shelter staff were busy with therapeutic activities for the kids from the moment they arrived that Friday morning. Mary promised them they could all have an extra day of vacation in exchange for the work they would be doing that day.

All day long, they did large group activities where the kids had to work together to accomplish a goal. They did smaller group activities that focused on problem solving and communication. They served lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. By the time 7:00 rolled around that evening, Mickey, Ian, Ash, and Geneva were all dead on their feet.

They all stumbled out of the shelter, blearily wished each other a happy weekend, and ambled in the direction of their respective homes.

Once Ian and Mickey got on the train, Ian was so exhausted, he leaned over onto Mickey’s shoulder. Mickey was happy to let him, and he rested his head against the top of Ian’s as they traveled to Mickey’s apartment. They were both almost asleep when Ian’s phone started buzzing. Mickey felt it against his leg, and he nudged Ian.

“Mmph?” came the reply.

“Phone’s buzzing,” Mickey muttered, still almost half asleep.

Ian reached into his pocket and got his phone to see who was calling him. He gasped audibly when he saw the name on the screen, and Mickey looked over.

On the screen, it read…

Adam

Chapter Text

Both Mickey and Ian looked at his phone in shocked silence until Mickey said, “The fuck is that fucker calling you for?”

Ian continued to stare at his phone and replied distantly, “I don’t…I don’t know…I…why…,” he turned stricken eyes to Mickey, “I don’t wanna talk to him.”

“So, don’t!” Mickey said emphatically, “Let it ring. Let the motherfucker leave a message, then delete that shit, and block his number, Ian.”

Ian nodded, feeling completely removed from the situation.

They arrived at their stop, and Mickey had to pull Ian along with him as the appearance of Adam’s name on his phone had rendered him almost frozen.

They made it back to the apartment, and Lip and Mandy could immediately tell that something was wrong.

Mandy got up from her spot on the couch, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Mickey was visibly pissed by that point, “Fucking asshole motherfucker called Ian when we were on the train.”

It took Mandy a moment before she put the pieces together, “Adam?? Adam called? What the fuck did he want??”

“I don’t know!!” Mickey yelled, “We didn’t answer! Why the fuck would anyone wanna talk to him?!”

Ian had been silent throughout this verbal explosion, and Lip turned his attention to him and quietly asked, “Ian?”

Ian turned still shocked, tear-filled eyes to Lip, and Lip held out his hand for Ian’s phone. Ian handed it over as if on autopilot, and Lip looked at the screen.

“He, uh, he left a voicemail,” Lip said to the room, but mainly to Ian, “Whatd’ya wanna do?”

Ian blinked and scrubbed a hand over his face but didn’t respond as he pondered Lip’s question.

Meanwhile, Mickey and Mandy were still yelling:

“Obviously we’re gonna fucking delete it! No one needs anything more from that destructive, toxic, cocksucking motherfucker!”

“Mick! That’s not your decision to make! I think we should listen to it!”

At that, Lip’s voice rang out, not angry but assertive and no nonsense, “My question was for Ian,” he looked at Ian, “what do you wanna do here?”

Ian blinked a few more times before clearing his throat, and his voice came out in barely a whisper, “Play it.”

Lip asked him, “Are you sure?”

Ian nodded, almost imperceptibly, “Yeah…play it.”

Lip pressed the speaker button on Ian’s phone and hit play.

“*deep sigh* Ian…this is Adam. I had hoped I could speak to you, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you didn’t answer. Honestly, I don’t blame you. I probably wouldn’t have answered either. I’ve…*ahem*…I’ve decided to drop the charges. I was arrested yesterday at work for the charges you filed against me, and I, uh, I hope you’ll decide to drop those after you receive word that I’ve dropped my charges against your brother and Mickey. I’m…I’m truly sorry for what happened between us, Ian. I really did love you. I hope you know that…I, uh, I also wanted to let you know that I’ve been let go from the company. Being arrested at work is apparently a bad image that Brian doesn’t want associated with it. So…you win. I’ve lost everything. There’s no need to call me back. I…*deep breath*…I hope you have a good life. Goodbye, Ian.”

The voicemail ended, and no one reacted, everyone looking at Ian to see what his response would be. When there wasn’t one, Mandy hesitantly spoke up, “So…he’s dropping the charges. That’s a good thing, right?”

Lip shrugged, “Sounds like it, I think.”

Finally, an ugly laugh bubbled up out of Ian’s throat until it became hysterical laughter.

Lip looked at his brother, “E…are you…”

“I…,” Ian started heatedly, “I am fucking fine…he’s dropping the charges! Fucking amazing!! Way to finally do something good, Adam!! Wait! But it’s not because of that, is it? It’s because you were charged with the SAME FUCKING THING, and it’s not FUN, is it?”

He started pacing the living room, continuing his rant, “He loved me?? What the fuck is that?? Did he love me when he was fucking other guys while I was low? Huh? And he hopes I know that he loved me? Was I supposed to know that when he slapped me and punched me in the face? What about when he forced me to take Viagra because I couldn’t get it up fast enough when he wanted me to fuck him? Or, wait, wait…how about when he tried to rape me that final night? Was that how I was supposed to know that he loved me?”

The other three people in the living room gave Ian his space, not knowing what to do or how to respond to this turn of events. Mickey tried to take a step forward and quietly said, “Ian…”

But Ian was still going, now with tears streaming down his face, “NO! No…I just…FUCK!!! HE’S LOST EVERYTHING??? I’m the one who can’t fucking sleep through the night because of having nightmares about him!! I can’t have a normal fucking relationship because I haven’t dealt with the FUCKING WAKING NIGHTMARE OF THE ENTIRE PAST FUCKING YEAR!!!!! FUCK!!! FUCK YOU, ADAM!!! FUCKING…FUCK…GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!”

Mickey, Lip, and Mandy watched helplessly as Ian fell to his knees with anguished sobs and wails. Mickey approached him hesitantly and knelt on the floor close to him, slowly inching his way over to Ian. He lightly touched his shoulder, and Ian flinched, still too much in the throes of his emotional explosion to accept any sort of physical attempts at comfort.

Mickey kept his touch light and quietly said, “’s okay, Ian…let it out…we’re here, okay…whatever you need, we’re here.”

Ian sobbed for a few moments before exploding one final time, “NO, IT’S NOT!! IT’S NOT FUCKING OKAY!!! I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY!!! FUCK!!! I gotta…shit…I need to…I’ve gotta get outta here…I’ll…I’m sorry, okay? Fuck…’m so fucking sorry…”

And before anyone could stop him, he got up and ran out of the apartment without another word.

Mandy, Lip, and Mickey were all frozen in silence and disbelief for several moments after Ian made his exit.

Mandy had tears in her eyes, both from seeing her friend in so much pain and from knowing what it felt like when the emotions finally hit in the aftermath of an abusive relationship. Lip touched her shoulder and reached to fold her into his arms.

“I…I can’t…he just…,” she couldn’t even get a full sentence out in between her own tears and sobs against Lip’s shoulder.

“I know, okay? You don’t have to say anything…I know,” Lip held her and tried to comfort her and calm her down. He may not have known exactly, but Mandy had started opening up to him about her past relationships, and he was certainly no stranger to experiencing emotional outbursts himself.

After Mandy’s sobs quieted, they both turned their attention to Mickey, realizing that he hadn’t said anything.

Mandy’s tears started again when she saw the helpless look on her brother’s face with quiet rivulets of tears streaming from his eyes. She crossed the distance to him in two long strides and knelt down beside him.

“Mick…”

He turned his eyes toward her, “I failed him, Mandy. I shoulda fucking seen this coming, but I didn’t…I didn’t want to. I just wanted to…and now…fuck…”

Mandy shook her head adamantly, “You did not fail him, Mickey. This was inevitable, okay? It was only a matter of time before it happened. This had nothing to do with you or what you think you should’ve known or done.”

Mickey gasped out a few breaths, trying to slow his tears, “So, what…*ahem*…what do we do now?”

They both turned to Lip, and he shrugged, “I guess we wait for him to come back.”

After Ian fled from the apartment, he just started running. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t dressed for it or wearing his running shoes. He just needed to run, to try and get away from the explosion he’d just experienced in front of people who already thought he was struggling to deal with things in the first place.

He ran and ran and ran and ran, not knowing where he was headed or when he’d stop. When his lungs finally started to burn, and his mouth was dry, and his legs protested going one more step, he realized he’d found his way to the South Side, specifically to the abandoned buildings where he used to come get high with Lip, where his makeshift ROTC course had been, where he’d come when the struggles of feeling invisible started to overwhelm him. It was his comfort spot.

He climbed the steps to the top floor to look out at the neighborhood that had been such a formative part of who he was. Running had temporarily released his anger, and all that was left was soul-deep exhaustion. He was so tired of his past affecting him, so tired of struggling with what should be regular human emotions on top of constantly questioning if it was his bipolar flaring up, so tired of pretending everything was okay.

Tears filled his eyes, and he turned back to the large empty space, noticing some empty bottles across the way. He walked over to them and picked one up, testing the weight in his hand. He turned toward one of the solid walls in the space and heaved the bottle at it as hard as he could.

“Fuck you, Adam…fucking abusive asshole. Made me think you loved me,” he picked up another bottle and threw it, “when all you wanted was to fucking control me.”

He picked up another bottle and heaved it at the wall, “Fuck you, stupid fucked up brain…fuck…why can’t you just fucking work normally, huh??”

He picked up another bottle, and tears of anger and grief flowed down his cheeks as he heaved it at the wall, “And fucking fuck you, Monica…leaving me here to deal with this shit and figure it out on my own…you’re the only person who fucking UNDERSTOOD…FUCK!!!!”

One by one, he picked up the rest of the empty bottles and threw them at the wall as hard as he could. He was breathing heavily by the time he was finished, and his shoulders slumped as he let out a final anguished sob.

The exhaustion of everything finally hit him, and he realized that if he wanted a bed to sleep in, he needed to find his way to the L and to Mickey’s.

He had no memory of the train ride, but the next thing he was conscious of was standing in front of Mickey’s apartment building. He pressed the button next to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment number, and the door buzzed a few moments later. He slowly climbed the stairs to the apartment, and he was surprised to find the apartment door unlocked. He slipped in quietly, not knowing what time it was, only that it had to be late. The living room and kitchen were both empty, and Ian stumbled into the bathroom to take his meds before quietly entering Mickey’s bedroom.

He was too worn out to be surprised at the pair of still open, wide-awake blue eyes that met his when he opened the door to Mickey’s bedroom. He slowly toed off his shoes and undressed to his boxers. He slid in on the other side of the bed, Mickey’s eyes watching him the whole time. Ian was exhausted, but he looked at Mickey pleadingly and whispered, “I’m sorry, Mick…’m so fucking sorry…fuck…I just…” Ian felt tears of helplessness spring to his eyes, and Mickey reached to pull Ian’s body into his arms and his head to his chest.

“Shhhh…,” Mickey pulled Ian’s body close to his, cradling his head with one hand while hugging him close with his other arm as he shushed him, “Talk about it tomorrow, yeah?” He felt Ian nod against his chest, and Mickey turned his head to place a kiss on Ian’s hairline. Ian’s breath hitched at the feel of Mickey’s lips pressed gently to his head, and he closed his eyes as he leaned into the sensation.

He closed his eyes and succumbed to sleep, missing the deep and weary sigh that came from Mickey.

The following day found Mickey awake with Ian still passed out on his chest. Thankfully, there hadn’t been any nightmares the previous night, but the fact that Ian had been so obviously exhausted when he’d returned plus the fact that it was at least 3 AM (Mickey hadn’t checked his phone when he heard Ian come in, but the last time he’d seen while he was waiting was 2:45) meant his overactive brain had probably just completely shut down.

As smoothly and quietly as he could, Mickey slipped out from underneath Ian and headed to the bathroom. After he was done, he walked quietly out to the living room. Both Lip and Mandy looked up when he walked in with twin expressions of concern and empathy.

“How is he?” Mandy asked.

Mickey shrugged, “Besides exhausted, I dunno. Once he got back, he went almost straight to sleep. I told him we’d talk more today.”

Mandy nodded, and Lip said, “Hey, Mick, don’t let him get away with not talking to you because that’s exactly what he’s going to try.”

Mickey nodded thoughtfully, “I can’t…we can’t keep going the way things have been. Not if he continues holding everything in until it explodes like it did last night. ‘s not good for either one of us.”

Unbeknownst to him, Ian had padded out of Mickey’s bedroom to stop and grab his meds from the bathroom and had only heard what Mickey had said. He froze and stood just out of sight in the hallway and heard Mickey say, “Hey, I think ‘m gonna go get some grocery staples from the store. We’re running low on some shit, and I could use some air.”

Ian immediately tiptoed back to the bedroom and got back in the bed, trying to remember the position he was in when he’d woken up. His heart was beating hard and fast when Mickey carefully pushed the bedroom door open. He moved around the room almost silently. Ian kept his eyes closed when he felt Mickey’s lips brush against his temple, and he waited a few minutes more after he’d distantly heard the apartment door shut to get up.

He threw on a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts and ambled into the bathroom to piss and take his meds before heading to the kitchen.

It was empty, so Ian made himself some toast and poured a cup of coffee. He’d just sat down at the kitchen table when Lip walked in.

“Hey,” Lip greeted him.

Ian gave him a nod, and Lip came and sat down at the table with him.

“You good?”

Ian huffed out a humorless laugh, “Not really. Last night was…,” he let out a whoosh of a breath, “last night was bad, Lip.”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, E, I know. I was there.”

Ian sighed heavily, “Everything just…,” he mimed his head exploding with his hands.

Lip sat quietly and waited to see if Ian was going to continue.

“I think, uh, I think we should move in together. Get a two-bedroom apartment.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ian nodded, “It’d…it’d be good, I think. Gotta figure this shit out, and I think I need some space to be able to do that, so…just lemme know when you wanna go check some places out, yeah?”

“Whatcha got going on today?”

Ian shrugged, “After last night, I think I gotta talk to Mickey about it. That…fuck…running off like that wasn’t okay. I know that. I just…’s all I could think about at the time, you know? Running away from everything that had just happened.”

Lip nodded, “It was a lot, E. I get it. I think it’s been a lot for a while now, yeah?”

Ian felt his eyes start to get wet as he ran a hand over his face, and he nodded, “‘m gonna call around on Monday…set up an appointment with a therapist. Trying to, uh,” he huffed out a laugh, “trying to do things on my own isn’t going so well.”

Lip reached over and grabbed Ian’s shoulder in a gesture of support, “I think it’s a good plan, E. Hope you find one that’s good for you. As for looking at apartments, I, uh, Mickey just went out for some groceries, so I dunno how long he’s gonna be gone. There’s a few places we could go look at, maybe tomorrow afternoon?”

Ian shot him a half smile and nodded, “Yeah, sounds good. Let’s do that.”

After Ian finished eating, he cleaned his plate and put it back in the cabinet. He figured it’d probably be a good idea to get a shower to help clear his mind for when Mickey got back. He was in the middle of drying off in Mickey’s bedroom and was just reaching for a pair of clean boxers when the bedroom door opened.

Ian looked up, and when he met Mickey’s eyes, he noticed they were wary and filled with concern. Ian couldn’t blame him, but it still made him feel like shit to know why he looked like that.

He pulled up his boxers and reached for a worn-in t-shirt, slipping it over his head. The two of them stood in silence for what felt like several minutes when Mickey finally broke the silence.

“Hey, um, can we talk?”

Ian swallowed and looked down, embarrassed, as he nodded, “Yeah, I, uh, I think we need to.”

Mickey gestured to the bed, “Have a seat.”

The two of them sat next to each other, the awkwardness in the room making the space feel a lot smaller than it was.

Mickey took a breath, but before he could say anything, Ian blurted out, “I’ll go first.”

Mickey let out the breath he’d just taken and gestured with his hand for Ian to start.

Ian took a deep breath and let it out shakily, “I know how I handled…or, well, didn’t handle…things last night wasn’t okay,” he looked up at Mickey, and Mickey could just start to make out the sheen of moisture welling in Ian’s eyes, “’m so sorry for everything, Mick…’m sorry for exploding like that, ‘m sorry for running off, ‘m sorry for making you worry…’m just,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “really fucking sorry.”

His eyes dropped to the bed when he said that, and Mickey sighed. He reached over to take Ian’s hand in his, and Ian raised his eyes back up to look at Mickey.

“I, uh, I get that his call caught all of us by surprise, and I…I know it had to have been hard to see it, to listen to his message. But…everything you said afterward, is that really how you feel, Ian?”

Ian’s breath hitched, and he nodded, “Feels like ‘ve been trying so hard to make everyone believe I’m okay, you know? And ‘m not…obviously,” he shrugged as he gestured to himself with his other hand.

Mickey squeezed his hand, “Talk to me, Ian. Please? ‘s what I’m here for.”

Ian let out a shaky breath, “I…I want to, Mick, I really do. ‘s just…,” he let out a sigh of frustration, “I’m a lot on a good day, let alone all…this…You don’t deserve anything that’s happened to you since this started, Mickey. You don’t deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night every night. You don’t deserve to have been arrested and potentially looking at…you know…serving more time or whatever, and you definitely don’t deserve someone who can’t handle his mental health and his own emotions.”

“Ian,” Mickey interjected, “look at me.”

Ian did, and Mickey looked him directly in the eye, “I told you a couple of weeks ago that I’m in this…with you. Remember that? That hasn’t changed. Yeah, you got a lotta shit going on right now, but if I didn’t wanna be with you, if I didn’t think I could handle it, I wouldn’t. You can’t keep holding all this in, though.”

Ian nodded, and Mickey added, “You’re calling one of those therapists first thing Monday, by the way. If you lost the slip of paper, I’ll get Geneva to write them down again for you.”

Ian nodded again, “I told Lip earlier that I was gonna call on Monday, set up an appointment, see if I can get all this,” he drew a circle in the air around his head, “taken care of.”

Mickey nodded, “Good,” he brought Ian’s hand up to his lips for a kiss, “now talk to me.”

Ian sighed and settled back against the pillows. He took a deep breath before lacing his hand with Mickey’s, “Okay, well…”

“Ian…,” Mickey trailed off in a sympathetic tone, “you mean to tell me you’ve seriously been sleeping on that lumpy ass couch, then slipping in here after you wake up from your nightmare?”

Ian nodded. They’d been talking for at least an hour about everything that’d happened over the past couple of weeks. Ian had told him about the bits and pieces of conversations he’d overheard between Mickey and Geneva and Ash, the looks of concern he’d noticed coming from everyone, and a little about how it all reminded him of when he was first diagnosed with bipolar and how his family would talk about him like they didn’t think he could hear everything that was being said.

Now, they’d moved on to the more immediate past, and when Mickey had commented that he’d had no idea Ian was still having nightmares, Ian had confessed that he’d been falling asleep on the couch, then coming to bed after his nightmares woke him up.

It felt good to finally talk about everything, but Ian hated that he couldn’t keep his tears inside as everything he’d been holding inside spilled out.

Mickey reached over to wipe the tears from the closest cheek to him, “Why?”

Ian’s breath hitched on a sob, “B-because I saw how t-tired you were, Mickey,” he took a deep breath so he could try to talk without sobbing out his words, “’s not fair to you for my fucked up subconscious to wake you up every night.”

“Ian,” Mickey affectionately chided him, unlacing their fingers in favor of wrapping his arm around Ian’s shoulders and pulling him against his side. Ian came willingly, and Mickey turned to press his lips against the side of his head, “what did I tell you at the end of last week?”

Ian sighed, “I know…’s just…”

“I told you,” Mickey cut him off, “that I would gladly wake up in the middle of the night with you and help you get back to sleep when you have nightmares. Remember that?”

“But it’s…”

“Remember that?”

Ian let out a sigh of frustration, “Yeah, Mick, I do, but…”

“Then,” Mickey cut him off again, “can you just believe that I meant it?”

“I didn’t want it to become too much,” Ian muttered, almost too low for Mickey to hear him.

“What was that?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t want it to become too much,” Ian said a little louder.

“Ian…”

“No, just…let me say this, okay? You said that after a week of being woken up in the middle of the night, Mick, and I’m sure you meant it. But for how long? How long do you think you can go being woken up in the middle of the night by my fucked up brain? Because I have no idea how long this is going to last. I have no idea how to stop it. I can’t,” Ian’s voice broke a little, “I can’t keep doing that to you.”

Mickey sighed and squeezed Ian’s shoulder in a side hug, “Christ, Ian…I don’t care how long it takes, part of my new life’s mission is to convince you that I’m all in, pretty much no matter what, as long as you are, too.  So…you in?”

Ian turned and looked at Mickey, eyes determined and sincere, searching for something in Mickey's eyes. He must've found what he was looking for as he nodded emphatically, “Yes. Absolutely.”

Mickey grinned, “Then shut the fuck up and c’mere and kiss me.”

Chapter Text

It was later in the day that Mickey and Ian were lying together on the couch, relaxing and partially watching a movie amidst cuddling and making out. Ian had just pulled back from a kiss when he cleared his throat and said, “So, I think Lip and I are going to check out a few apartments tomorrow afternoon.”

Mickey bristled, and Ian prepared himself for an unpleasant response. To his surprise, whatever he was afraid of happening didn’t, and Mickey instead reached a hand up to cup his cheek, “’s probably a good idea. You said the end of his lease was coming up soon, right?”

Ian nodded, still surprised by Mickey’s calm response.

“Do you, uh, do you mind if I come with you guys to look?”

Ian was even more surprised, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Mickey gave him a half-smile, “Mandy woulda had us living in a crack den if I hadn’t told her what she needed to ask about when she was looking for a place before I got out. I know what needs to be asked and what to look for.”

A smile blossomed on Ian’s face, “That’d be great, Mick. Thanks.”

Mickey shrugged, “Well, I figure if you’re gonna live somewhere else that’s not here, it at least needs to be a quality place.”

Ian looked down at him with so much affection, Mickey almost had to look away. He kept eye contact, though, albeit with a blush in his cheeks.

“What’s that look?”

Ian ducked his head and smiled before looking back at Mickey, “I…I just got really lucky with you.”

Mickey couldn’t help but smile in response as he reached up to pull Ian down to him for a kiss filled with words both of them felt but weren’t ready to take a chance on saying just yet.

The following afternoon, Lip, Ian, and Mickey were all dressed and ready to go look at apartments. Lip had tried to convince Mandy to come with them, but she was dead set on having some time to herself without “so many boys invading her space.”

Lip had a list of 4 apartments they’d be looking at, 3 of which were in relatively close walking distance to where Mandy and Mickey’s apartment was.

The first one was a 7 block walk. It was an apartment on the 4^th floor with 2 spacious bedrooms but only one bathroom. Lip and Ian had looked at each other and shrugged. They were used to sharing a bathroom between not only them but 4 other siblings as they were growing up, so it wasn’t something they weren’t used to. It would just be nice for each of them to have their own. The building had units with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, but they were out of their price range until Lip noticed something on the website he had pulled up on his phone.

“Hey, it says here that if we make less than a certain amount, we may qualify for special pricing on one of their apartments. Based on this, we’d definitely qualify!”

Ian looked skeptical, “What’re the chances they have any of those specific apartments available?”

Lip shrugged, “Never hurts to ask. If it turns out that they have one available, what do you think?”

Ian turned around in the middle of the living room, “Add a 2^nd bathroom, and it would be great. ‘d still like to see the others, though.”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, sure, we can stop by the leasing office and ask about the details for that special pricing thing.”

They walked down to the leasing office only to find that they’d had limited hours due to it being a Sunday. Lip shrugged it off, “I’ll call them first thing tomorrow morning and ask.”

Ian nodded, and they continued on to the next apartment.

The next one they looked at was even closer to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment building, and it had 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Lip wasn’t as much of a fan as he had been of the first because it was more expensive, and the “layout was too weird.”

Ian had shrugged and rolled his eyes, but he agreed with the sentiment. It just didn’t feel like the right place for them.

The 3^rd one they looked at was gorgeous. Technically, it was within walking distance, but it was easier to take the L, and it was only one stop away from Mickey and Mandy’s. This one had bedrooms that were separated by the living room, each with its own bathroom and walk-in closet. Ian’s jaw had dropped open in awe as he walked through and saw how much light both bedrooms got. He was in love…until Lip told him what the price was.

Sighing heavily, he realized that they wouldn’t be able to afford that for longer than a few months, neither one of them making enough money to sustain paying the monthly rent. Sadly, they thanked the agent who’d shown them the apartment, and they headed to the 4^th and final one.

This one was an L stop plus a few blocks walk from Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. Both Ian and Lip instantly liked it, but once again, the price tag looked like it was going to keep them from being able to afford it.

The agent who’d let them in to see the apartment had stayed and asked, “If you don’t mind my asking, do you both have a combined income of less that $70,000?”

Ian scoffed and said, “Yeah, try maybe 2/3 that amount.”

The agent pulled out what looked like an application, “We do have 2 bed, 2 bath apartments available for half the price of this one for those who qualify. If you’re really interested in this unit, fill this out before you leave, and I’ll hand it to my supervisor tomorrow.”

Lip looked at Ian, who was giving him the same questioning look in return. The agent said, “I’ll give you some more time to look around and decide if that’s something you’re interested in. Just pull the door to and drop off the key at the leasing office when you’re done. We close in about an hour.”

With that, he headed out of the apartment, and Lip looked at Ian, “Okay, so basically, of the 4 places we’ve looked at, 2 of them have the option for applying for a lower price than what’s listed based on our income, or lack thereof. So, do you like either one? Should I keep looking? What do you wanna do here, Ian?”

Ian let out a deep breath, “Both of them were really nice. I dunno. I really like this one, but I guess we could put in applications at both? See what the final price is and decide from there?”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

Ian turned to look at Mickey, “Mick, what do you think about the ones we’ve seen?”

Mickey paused for a moment, “I think the first one you saw was good, but this one is the one that made both of you light up when you walked in. I…I know it’s further away than the first one, and I can’t say I’m altogether a fan of that, but…I think this one might be the one.”

Ian smiled at him and looked at Lip, “Okay, yeah, let’s do it. This one is definitely my first choice, but I’d be good with the first one we looked at, too.”

Lip smiled back at him, “Okay, it’s settled. Let’s fill out this application and drop it off downstairs.”

After they had done that, they headed back to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. Both Lip and Ian started getting more excited as they talked back and forth about furniture and furnishings for their new space. Mickey was happy for them, but he couldn’t help but feel sad that Ian would definitely be moving out of his apartment and left out of their conversation.

They got back to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment, and Mandy was pleasantly surprised to see Ian in such a good mood. She looked at Mickey who didn’t look unhappy but was definitely more reserved than Ian and Lip.

She smiled at Lip, “What’re you guys so excited about?”

“We found a place!” Ian blurted out. “We found a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 bathrooms, and the space is amazing, and we’re only gonna have to pay half of what they’re charging for rent, and it’s only one stop and a few blocks past here, so we won’t even be that far away. This place is so great, though, Mandy! You’ve gotta see it! It has its own gym, a fucking yoga studio, a balcony. Oh! And…and…mine and Lip’s bedrooms do not share a wall…this is gonna be fucking awesome!”

Mandy couldn’t help but grin at Ian’s enthusiasm, and she turned to Lip, who also had a big smile on his face. He nodded, “Yeah, what he said. This place really is great, though, and it feels a lot bigger than it is. We, uh, we probably need to make a list of everything we’re gonna need so we can go ahead and get on that, yeah?”

“Ooh, yeah, that’s a good idea. Lemme see here,” Ian busied himself with something on his phone, “Hey, here’s an app where we can make a list and share it between 2 or more people, so we can add and cross stuff out as needed.”

Lip smirked at him, “I thought I was supposed to be the nerdy one here.”

Ian playfully shoved him, “Man, shut the fuck up and get your phone so you can download this, too.”

The two brothers sat together on the couch and started a running list of what Lip already had and what they still needed to get. Mandy looked over at Mickey who was watching them (mainly Ian) with a sad smile on his face.

She walked over and nudged him, “Hey, what’s up with you?”

Mickey looked at her then gestured over to Ian, “Happiest I’ve seen him since I met him.”

Mandy looked over at Ian, then back at Mickey, “Yeah, that’s a good thing, right?”

Mickey sighed, “Happiest I’ve seen him, and it’s about leaving here and going somewhere else.”

Mandy looked at him sympathetically, “Mick, that’s not it…he’s not happy about leaving here and leaving you. You get that, right?”

Mickey sighed, “Yeah, I know…just can’t help but feel a little bit like that. Don’t get me wrong…I understand he needs his own space. He needs to re-establish his independence or whatever. I just…,” he trailed off.

“You just what, Mick?”

Mickey shrugged, “I guess I’m just worried that this…him leaving, moving out, getting a place with Lip…’m worried it’s gonna mean him leaving me behind, too.”

“Mick…if anything, this will bring some normalcy to your relationship. This will give you the opportunity to actually date instead of just automatically living together. Trust me, Mickey. This will be a good thing.”

Mickey nodded distantly as he continued watching Ian and Lip together on the couch.

Later that evening, Ian and Mickey were getting ready for bed. They had both stripped down to their boxers, and Mickey looked pointedly at Ian, “No sleeping on the couch tonight, right?”

Ian grinned sheepishly, “No sleeping on the couch. Promise.”

“Good,” they both slipped under the covers, and Mickey reached for Ian’s waist to pull his body against him, “because I’ve missed this,” he tipped his head up just slightly toward Ian’s and licked his lips.

Ian grinned at him, “Mmmm…yeah, me, too,” he met Mickey halfway and pressed a whisper of a kiss on his lips. When a sigh came from the back of Mickey’s throat, Ian grinned and placed a slow, sensuous kiss on Mickey’s lips.

When he pulled back, Mickey’s eyes stayed closed, and he whispered, “Fuck…”

“Yeah…,” Ian breathed against his mouth, “fuck…”

Those were the last words either one of them said for a few minutes as they pressed their mouths together and tangled their tongues. Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s back and pressed against the small of his back, bringing their clothed erections together. They both moaned and panted for breath as they rubbed against each other. It brought it home for both of them how much they had missed this, laying together and fooling around, feeling the other’s body against their own.

“Mmph…gimme your hand…fuck…need your hand,” Mickey whispered desperately against Ian’s mouth.

Ian pulled back on a smack, “How about I give you my mouth instead?”

“Wha…oh…ohhhhhhh…fuck…”

Ian quickly slid down Mickey’s body, pulling his boxers down and engulfing him in his mouth all in one smooth movement.

“Oh, Jesus…ungh…”

Ian hummed around him, loving the feel of Mickey’s dick in his mouth.

“Fuck…feels so fucking good, Ian…fuck…” 

“Mm-hmmm…mmph…”

“Fuck…’m gonna cum…’m gonna…fuck, feels too good…oh fuck…oh…OH FUCK…aahhh…ungh…”

Mickey came in his mouth, and Ian contentedly swallowed him down. He made a mental note to go ahead and get tested soon so they could have sex with no worries and no protection.

Mickey shook with a few aftershocks, more dribbles of cum spilling over from his dick. Ian held on to him through those, and when Mickey was finally done, he kissed him before pulling down his own boxers and wrapping his hand around himself and starting to stroke.

Mickey pulled back the covers so he could watch, and his mouth watered as he watched Ian’s hand stroke from base to tip.

“Want me to, uh, help you out there?”

But Ian shook his head, “Want you to watch, see what you do to me, maybe talk to me a little?”

Mickey broke out into a seductive grin, “Yeah? You want me to talk dirty to you, Gallagher?”

Ian bit his lip and looked lustily at Mickey, nodding, “Fuck…yes, please…”

“Mmph…where should I start?” Mickey tapped his chin like he was thinking, “How about this? I could start by telling you how sexy it is to watch you touch yourself,” he punctuated that with a kiss to Ian’s lips.

“You thinking about me while you stroke that big cock?”

Ian moaned and nodded, “Yeah…thinking about how much I love touching you, how much I wanna be inside you.”

“Mmmm…,” Mickey moaned in the back of his throat, “Love it when you touch me, too, but right now…,” he brought his fingertips up to Ian’s cheek, letting them rest ever so lightly there, “I wanna touch you. Can I?”

Ian moaned, “Oh fuck yes…”

Mickey traced his fingers lightly down Ian’s neck before coming to his collarbone. He traced his fingers over it, then lightly ran his fingertip down Ian’s chest, stopping to pluck at one of his nipples.

“Oh, fuck…,” Ian’s jaw fell open, and he started stroking himself faster.

“Oh…you like that, huh? Like it when I do…this…?” Mickey pinched Ian’s nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting it ever so slightly.

“Holy shit…fuck…keep going…,” Ian panted out.

“What if I do…this…?” Mickey slid down the bed ever so slightly until Ian’s nipples were within reach of his mouth. He latched on to one and started to suck while he brought his hand up to the other one and pinched and twisted it ever so slightly.

“Oh, fuck…oh god…don’t stop…fuck, yes…just a little…oh god, ‘m gonna cum…fuck, ‘m gonna…fuck…oh fuck…UNGH…UNGH…”

With that, Ian spurted all over his hand and stomach, and a little on Mickey’s chest. He panted as he came down from his orgasm. He looked down at Mickey and smiled, feeling completely sated.

Mickey returned his smile and slid back up til he was face to face with Ian. He leaned in to kiss him and whispered, “You got cum on me, fucker.”

Ian grinned and kissed him again, “Don’t act like you don’t love it. Fuck…can’t believe you fucking made me cum by playing with my nipples.”

“Mmmm…gotta remember that for the future,” Mickey murmured against his lips, “That was hot as fuck.”

Ian nodded, “Fuck…yeah, it was.”

They kissed passionately for a few moments, then Ian said, “Eugh…got any wipes over there? I feel disgusting now.”

Mickey smirked at him before reaching into his drawer and pulling out a pack of wet wipes for Ian to clean himself. Ian did, then tossed the wipes into the trash.

He snuggled down into the covers and held one arm open. He looked at Mickey, affection bright in his eyes and said, “Sleep?”

Mickey smiled at him and nodded before fitting himself against Ian’s body, “Sleep.”

During the night, Mickey felt Ian toss and turn in the bed beside him. He turned to face him and reached over and placed his hand lightly on Ian’s arm and slowly ran his hand up and down his arm. Ian stilled and cracked open one eye. When he saw Mickey lying next to him, he reached up with his other hand and placed it on top of Mickey’s, giving him a slight smile before settling back down to sleep.

Mickey let out a sigh of relief. Maybe Ian’s nightmares were starting to resolve on their own. Maybe it was Mickey’s presence next to him that had helped. With the help of a therapist, Mickey felt certain that Ian could continue to work through this, and Mickey would be right there beside him for support. It was the most positive he’d felt about their relationship since things had started.

The next morning, they got up, showered, and got dressed for work. As soon as they entered their office at the shelter, Mickey turned to Ian, “Did you find that slip of paper with the numbers on it?”

Ian froze as he remembered he had promised to call one of the therapists that morning. He checked his pockets, even though the pants he was wearing were clean, and turned up nothing. He looked sheepishly at Mickey and said, “No, it’s not in my pockets. Sorry, Mick, I completely forgot.”

Mickey nodded once, then looked over at Geneva, “Hey, G, can you write down those names and numbers again?”

Geneva looked at Ian and smiled, thankful that he had obviously agreed to get some help, “Of course.”

She wrote down the names and numbers and walked over to Ian’s desk, “Here you go.”

Ian smiled at her, “Thanks, G. Any of these you would recommend over the others?”

Geneva looked at her list, “All of them are good, but I would start here,” she pointed at one of the names on the page.

Ian nodded, “Got it,” he got up and gestured toward the office door, “’m gonna…”

He walked out the door and headed back to the quiet rooms to call and set up an appointment.

Ash looked at Mickey and spoke up, “That’s good, right?”

Mickey nodded, “I think so. This weekend was pretty rough. Adam called on Friday night, and it…ended badly, to say the least.”

Geneva made a face at that information, “What the fuck did he want?”

Mickey shrugged, “It was a ‘good-bye message’ of sorts. Said he was dropping the charges and that he was sorry for how he treated Ian. Told him he hoped he had a good life.”

Geneva scoffed, “Asshole. That’s so fucking manipulative. How’d Ian take it?”

Mickey huffed out a breath, “Not well. We talked after, and I told him he needed to call one of the therapists you recommended. He agreed, and here we are.”

Geneva nodded and looked at Mickey sincerely, “All the people on there are pretty exceptional humans. I think any of them would be a good match for him.”

A few minutes later, Ian came back into the office. Geneva, Mickey, and Ash all looked up, and Mickey said, “So? How’d it go?”

Ian shrugged, “Two didn’t answer, and one’s not currently accepting new patients. So, looks like,” he looked at the slip of paper, “Meg is my new therapist, by default. I have my first visit scheduled on Friday morning.”

Mickey looked at Geneva to see if she had any response to the therapist Ian would be going to see. Geneva smiled warmly at Ian, “They’re all great, E, truly, but I think you’ll really like Meg. Honestly, that’s who I was hoping you’d end up going to see.”

Ian let out a deep breath, “Okay, well, I guess we’ll see what happens Friday, then.”

The week passed by relatively calmly, with little drama for any of the counselors or the kids. Ian was helping Tara write a letter to her mom about how she honestly felt. D’mitri still carried his ‘I’m a badass’ attitude, but there was even a softness to him that hadn’t been there before. His grades were also the highest they’d ever been. The smile on his face had been something to behold when he brought a test he’d gotten an A on back to the shelter, and Mickey had high-fived him and told him he was proud of the work he’d done.

Ian and Lip got word that their application for a lower priced apartment had been accepted, and they could start moving in as soon as the following weekend. They were both super excited and started making plans and shopping for secondhand furniture. The one thing Ian insisted on getting brand new was a mattress. Mickey helped him shop for one online, and after they’d decided on one together, Ian had tackled him on his own bed and had dry humped them both to orgasm as he verbally drew a visual of him fucking Mickey on his new mattress.

Friday morning came, and Ian went to his first appointment with his new therapist. When he finished, he felt a little shell-shocked. Their conversation had been pretty in-depth for a first visit, and he could feel all the things they’d talked about swimming around in his brain. He headed from his appointment to the shelter almost on autopilot. It was almost too much to process at once. He knew he had to put aside what they’d talked about to think on later.

He put on his best “everything’s great” smile when he went inside, and he told his fellow counselors that Meg was great and their first session had been intense. Geneva smiled knowingly, and Mickey pressed him for more details. Ian just smiled and shook his head, kissing Mickey on top of the head and promising him they’d talk about it later.

As they were gathering their things that evening to leave the shelter, Mickey asked, “Hey, what do you wanna do for your next to last night at the apartment?”

Ian froze briefly, then said, “Oh, um, actually, I kinda promised Lip I’d help him pack up the last of his things tonight. It shouldn’t take too long, though. I think we’ll probably head over afterward.”

“Oh,” Mickey said with a confused frown, “Well, do you need another set of hands? You know what they say…three pairs are better than two.”

Ian briefly smiled at his joke, “Nah, thanks, but I think we’re good. I’ll, uh, text you when we’re done, yeah?”

Something felt off, but Mickey brushed it off, chalking it up to Ian’s first therapy visit and the plan to move him and Lip into their new apartment over the next couple of days.

Mickey nodded and turned his face up to Ian’s for a kiss. Ian pecked him on the lips and took off toward the station that would take him to Lip’s apartment.

Now, something felt even more off, but Mickey tried to shrug the feeling off, telling himself that everything that was happening would take some adjusting to. He headed off toward the L station to head back home to his apartment. He made a mental note to try and talk to Ian that night when he and Lip got there.

The buzzer in Lip’s apartment started going off repeatedly, and Lip looked confused. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and he’d been getting ready to head to Mandy’s. He walked over to the speaker and pressed the button, “Yeah?”

On the other end, he heard, “Hey, it’s Ian. Buzz me in?”

Lip did just that, and a few moments later, there was a knock on his door. He opened it and said, “Hey, what’re you doing here? I was just getting ready to head to Mandy’s.”

Ian rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, “I, uh, I told Mickey I was coming to help you pack.”

Lip looked around his apartment at all the packed boxes, “Um, you’re kinda late for that. I finished up the last of it this afternoon.”

Ian nodded. Lip waited for him to say something more, and when he didn’t, Lip said, “What’s up, Ian? You’re acting really weird right now.”

Ian let out a huge sigh, “I had my first therapy visit this morning.”

“Okay, and?”

Another big sigh, “I think I have to break up with Mickey.”

Chapter Text

There was a pregnant beat of silence, then Lip said, “Wait, what? What the fuck, Ian?”

Ian looked distraught as he nodded, “Yeah, um, Meg—she’s my new therapist—I gave her the rundown of why I was there. She asked me if I had a safe place to stay, and I told her I had been staying with my new…kind of…boyfriend. She was concerned, started asking if I thought maybe I was rushing into a new relationship too quickly. Told me that I needed to be aware of the baggage that could come from being in an abusive relationship and how that could affect future partners. Then she strongly ‘suggested’ that I might want to ‘reassess’ living with Mickey and already being in a committed relationship with him.”

“Wow…holy fuck, Ian,” Lip wasn’t shocked that Ian’s new therapist had expressed some concerns about jumping from such a tumultuous relationship into a newly committed one where he’d basically been living with Mickey, but he was shocked that Ian was actually considering breaking things off.

He weighed his next words carefully, “It, uh, it doesn’t sound like she’s telling you to break things off with him, though. It sounds like she’s just suggesting taking a step back, you know, making sure you’re not using Mickey or this new relationship to avoid the shit that happened in the other one.”

Ian looked confused, “How exactly is that different than breaking things off?”

Lip thought for a moment, “You remember that show Fiona used to watch? Some sitcom from the 90’s called Friends?”

Ian thought for a second, then shrugged, “Vaguely. Was that the one where all those people who had shitty jobs managed to live in really fucking nice apartments in New York?”

Lip smiled at Ian’s description, “Yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, don’t ask me how I fucking remember this, but there was an episode where two of the main characters—Ross and Rachel—were on a break. It wasn’t a full break-up. They just took some time apart with the full intention of getting back together. So, maybe you could do that instead? Just explain to Mickey that you wanna be with him, you just need to take a step back so you can process all the shit you went through with Adam.”

Ian looked skeptical, “I guess, but do you really think he’s gonna understand that?”

Lip shrugged, “I think he really wants to be with you. I think he loves you, and if you phrase it like that, maybe he’ll understand. I dunno how he’ll respond, but I think you have a better chance of getting him to be on board if you clarify it’s not a break-up.”

Ian thought for a moment and tried out how the words Lip had just said sounded, “Taking a break…hey, in that episode, didn’t Ross sleep with someone else and try to justify it because they were on a break?”

Lip chuckled, “Okay, don’t take everything about that episode as a model for how you should handle it.”

Ian managed to chuckle in response before turning serious again.

Lip asked, “When’re you gonna tell him?”

Ian shrugged, “I dunno. I don’t wanna do it at all.”

“Then why are you?”

Ian sighed, “I don’t fucking know. I guess…she has a point. I do have a lot of baggage from my relationship with Adam. And I wanna be with Mickey. He makes me really happy, Lip. Even if I didn’t mean to, I know I pretty much jumped from being in a relationship with Adam to living with Mickey. Nothing about that is healthy relationship material. I guess I’d rather go ahead & deal with my shit now, give me and Mickey a better chance at meeting each other on equal ground in our relationship instead of avoiding it and everything blowing up later.”

Lip nodded, “I get that, and I think that view is a really mature one to have, Ian. Just make it clear to Mickey that ‘taking a step back’ doesn’t mean ‘breaking up’, yeah?”

Ian nodded and let out a huge breath, “Yeah, I guess I’ll try to come up with some words to explain that, hope he takes it okay.”

Lip nodded, then grinned, “Can I ask a favor, though?”

Ian raised his eyebrows in question.

“Can you wait until after this weekend? I really don’t think me, you, and Mandy can move all the shit we’ve gotta move without his help.”

Ian couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his brother’s shitty attempt to lighten the situation, “You’re such an asshole, Lip. I wasn’t planning on doing it this weekend anyway. This is the last weekend I’ll be living with him. I don’t wanna ruin it with that.”

Lip nodded in understanding, “Do what you need to do for you, Ian. Your mental and emotional health is the most important thing for you to take care of, okay? Mickey should understand that.”

Ian nodded and tried to smile at him, “Yeah, I know…so,” he paused to clear his throat, “ready to head over there?”

Lip nodded and smiled, “Yeah, let’s go.”

They got on the L to head to Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. When they got there, Lip pressed the buzzer. As they waited to be buzzed into the building, Lip put an arm around Ian’s shoulder and brought him in for a light squeeze.

Ian looked surprised, “What was that for?”

Lip shrugged, “Whatever you need, I’m here. You know that, right?”

Ian gave him a soft smile, “Yeah, you big softy, I know.”

The buzzer sounded, and they headed into the building and up the stairs to the apartment. Mandy greeted them at the door, and as they entered the living room, she gestured to Mickey’s room, “He’s in there. He was in a mood when he got home earlier. Maybe you can get him out of it.”

Ian took a deep breath and gave a final look to Lip before walking over to Mickey’s door. He knocked, and a voice responded, “Yo.”

He pushed open the door and saw Mickey lying on his bed in just his boxers as he scrolled on his phone. Mickey looked up when Ian walked into the room and gave him a small smile with a wary look in his eyes.

Ian smiled at him, "You already going to bed?"

Mickey shrugged, "Next two days are big ones. Figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get some extra rest.”

Ian nodded, then gestured to the other side of the bed, “Can I join you?”

Mickey pulled back the covers, “Have I said no during any of the time you’ve been staying here?”

Ian grinned, “I guess not.”

He undressed until he was also just in his boxers and sat down on the bed next to Mickey. They were both silent for a few moments, then Mickey sighed and said, “’s everything okay?”

Ian gave a slight nod, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Mickey shrugged, “I dunno, man. You’ve just been kinda weird the whole day.”

Ian huffed out a breath of air, “Therapy this morning was just…a lot. Kinda been thinking about it for most of the day.”

Mickey nodded, “Anything you wanna talk about?”

Ian gave him a slight smile and shook his head, “Not yet. ‘s that okay?”

“Yeah,” Mickey nodded, “’f course it is. Just, if or when you’re ready…”

“You’re here,” Ian finished his statement and nodded, “I know.”

Mickey plugged his phone into his charger, then turned back to Ian, “It’s actually way earlier than when I expected you to get here. So, if you don’t wanna talk, then what do you wanna do?”

A lascivious grin broke out on Ian’s face, and he reached for Mickey, bringing their bodies together. He leaned in, and in a husky voice, said, “Oh, I can think of lots of things I wanna do…starting with this,” he leaned in and caught Mickey’s mouth in a passionate kiss. Mickey happily gave in, and they spent the rest of the evening lost in each other.

Even though they’d gone to bed relatively early the night before, it still seemed way too early the next morning when Mickey’s alarm went off.

Ian grumbled and pulled Mickey’s body against his, snuggling into his neck. Mickey smiled and hummed contentedly, snuggling back into Ian. They stayed like that for a few moments, then Mickey patted the arm around his torso, “C’mon, sleepy face, we got a long day ahead of us.”

Ian grumbled again and leaned in to kiss behind Mickey’s ear as he whispered, “Wouldn’t you rather just stay here?”

Mickey moaned as he felt the blood start to head towards his crotch, “Fuck…you know I would, which is why we gotta go ahead and get up. Otherwise, we’ll just stay here all day.”

He tried to pull away from Ian, but Ian just tightened his grip, “Where’s the bad in that?”

Mickey turned on his back to give Ian a proper ‘good morning’ kiss. His intention had been to kiss him, then get up, but Ian and Mickey’s traitorous body had other plans. Even though they both needed to brush their teeth badly, Mickey couldn’t help but moan into Ian’s mouth as his tongue came out to tease Mickey’s.

Just when the kiss was starting to grow to another level, a knock came at Mickey’s bedroom door followed by Mandy’s voice, “Come on, assholes. We need to get this show on the road, and we don’t have time to wait until you’re done with your morning sexcapades. You can do that shit later.”

Ian groaned and called out, “Okay, okay, we’re getting up!”

Mickey closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to get his erection to go down. Once he finally felt like he had it under control, he opened his eyes and looked at Ian, “Shower?”

“Nah,” Ian shook his head, “we’re gonna be disgusting by the time we get done today. Breakfast, meds, brush teeth, move shit, then shower this evening,” he reached for Mickey again, “when we have more time, and can truly, truly, appreciate it.”

“Jesus…okay, fucker, stop…can’t fucking say no to you.”

Ian chuckled against him and leaned in for one more kiss, “Okay, if we don’t get up, Mandy and Lip are gonna come in here,” he looked longingly at Mickey’s mouth, “to be continued.”

Ian got out of bed and grabbed some clothes that would be good for moving. Mickey took a minute to just watch Ian, raking his eyes over his body, and marveling at how beautiful he was. Mickey had really hit the jackpot with him, and he wanted to take a moment and appreciate that.

Ian looked up and caught his eye, and he blushed as a huge smile blossomed on his face. Mickey returned it, then wordlessly swung his legs over to the side to get out of bed. He followed suit with getting dressed, and Ian headed for the kitchen as Mickey headed for the bathroom.

Lip and Mandy were finishing up their coffee and breakfast, and Lip smirked at Ian when he walked in, “Fucking took you long enough.”

Ian faux glared at him, “Shut the fuck up. We’re up now, and we’ll be ready to go in about 10 minutes, ok?”

Mandy grinned, “You’re starting to sound like Mickey.”

Ian snorted and put on a couple of pieces of bread, waiting for them to toast. They popped up, and Mickey came in, “There any coffee left?”

Ian grabbed a mug and the rest of the pot and poured it for him, “Here.”

Mickey grinned at him and tilted his head up for a kiss. Ian happily obliged and murmured, “Mmm, minty,” against Mickey’s mouth.

It was only when they heard a collective, “Awww,” from behind them that they separated and simultaneously flipped Mandy and Lip off.

While Mickey drank his coffee and Ian ate his toast, they talked over the plan for moving that day. Lip had managed to rent a small U-Haul truck for the day, so he and Mandy were going to go pick that up. Ian and Mickey would meet them at Lip’s apartment, and they would go ahead and get the furniture and boxes loaded up, take them to the new apartment, and unload them.

The following day was when they were planning for Lip to do a final sweep of his apartment and make sure he hadn’t left anything behind. After that, they were going to a few secondhand stores to get a bed frame and bedside table for Ian and see if there was any other furniture they thought they might need. Ian’s new mattress was also supposed to be delivered that afternoon, and once all of that was taken care of and unloaded, they would start the tedious process of unpacking and figuring out if they needed to get anything else.

After they discussed the plan for both days, Ian headed to the bathroom to take his meds and brush his teeth. Mandy and Lip headed for the L to go pick up the truck and told Mickey and Ian they’d see them in about half an hour.

After they left, Mickey came into the bathroom with Ian, “Hey, about how long does it take to get to your brother’s place on the L?”

Ian thought for a moment and shrugged, “Maybe 15 minutes or so? Why?”

Mickey took a step until his body was right next to Ian’s and turned Ian’s body to face his. He brought his hands to Ian’s waist and pulled his lower half against him. He bit his lip seductively and looked up at Ian from under his lashes, “Because, that means we have 15 minutes before we have to leave.”

Ian bit his lip as he grinned, “Ooh, so what you’re saying is we’re swimming in time.”

Mickey closed the distance between their lips, whispering, “You catch on quick, Gallagher.”

They didn’t have time for anything overtly sexual but taking the time to explore each other’s mouths allowed for the anticipation of later when they wouldn’t be so pressed for time.

Things never moved beyond making out, and after about 10 minutes, Ian pulled back, “Okay, if we continue, we’re definitely gonna be late, so let’s go catch the L.”

Mickey agreed, and they headed out. True to Ian’s estimation, approximately 15 minutes later, they pulled into the station that was closest to Lip’s (soon to be) former apartment. They walked to the building and saw that Mandy and Lip had just pulled up in the U-Haul.

Lip jumped out of the truck, “’ey, perfect timing!”

Mandy smirked at them, “Surprised you guys actually got here when we did. Definitely expected for you to take advantage of an empty apartment and not show up until at least an hour from now.”

Mickey raised an eyebrow, “We can always leave the two of you to get started here and go do exactly that, bitchy.”

Mandy snorted a laugh, “Let’s just get up there and get this shit done.”

It only took them about an hour and a half to load the boxes into the truck, but then came time to move the furniture. The couch was the most difficult thing to move down the stairs with Lip yelling, “Pivot!!” when he wanted one of them to turn, and Ian and Mickey trying to figure out which direction they were supposed to be turning. After they finally got that down and in the truck, the only things left were a couple of accent chairs, Lip’s bed frame, his mattress, a couple of end tables, and his bedside table.

The furniture moving portion took them a couple of hours, but once they were finally done, they all breathed a huge sigh of relief and took a few minutes to catch their breaths.

“Fuck,” Mandy whined, “And we still have to unload this shit at the new place?”

The other three just looked at her, and Mickey scoffed at her complaint, “The fuck’re you bitching for, huh? We’re the ones who carried most of that shit downstairs.”

Mandy frowned and looked away as she muttered, “I helped carry boxes.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, and after a few more moments, Lip said, “Okay, let’s get this to the new place so we can get everything in there and be done for today.”

Everyone nodded, and it was decided that Ian and Mickey would take the L and meet Lip and Mandy at the new place. With Chicago traffic, it would likely take about the same amount of time for all of them to get there.

Luckily, Ian and Mickey managed to find a fairly empty car with plenty of seats available. They both collapsed into seats next to each other and leaned against each other as they relaxed to the rumble of the train. It was about 20 minutes later that Ian heard the call for his new stop, and he nudged Mickey, who had almost been asleep. Mickey opened his eyes, and Ian gestured to the doors, “We’re here.”

Mickey stretched while the train came to a stop, then he and Ian ambled off the train and down the steps to walk the final blocks to Ian’s new apartment building.

When they got there, they had to stop by the leasing office first to get the keys to the apartment. Ian went ahead and did that, telling one of the agents that the other tenant would be there soon. He and Mickey went to find the exact apartment Ian and Lip would be living in. The one they had looked at the previous weekend had been a model apartment, so Ian had no idea what the actual apartment they’d be living in would look like.

When he got to the door, he scanned the key, and a light on the door turned green. Ian turned to look at Mickey whose eyebrows were raised, obviously impressed with the technology of the building.

“Fancy,” Mickey remarked, and Ian smiled and pushed the door open.

This apartment was on a lower floor than the unit they’d looked at the previous weekend, so the view out the window wasn’t as impressive. Ian didn’t care so much about that, though, as he did about all the space it looked like they had. He walked through the living room and the kitchen before Mickey called out, “Go claim your room, Gallagher. One of the perks of getting here first.”

Ian headed for the bedrooms to choose which one he wanted. He opted for the one furthest from the door, and when Mickey looked at him questioningly, Ian shrugged, “This way, whenever anyone comes over, they’ll have to use Lip’s bathroom because it has the door that opens to the rest of the apartment.”

Mickey chuckled and shook his head, “Good thinking. I like that.”

Just then, they heard a beep and the sound of the door to the apartment opening. They went back out to the living area to see Lip and Mandy enter the apartment. Ian watched as Lip took in the space.

“Whatd’ya think?” Ian asked.

“Lower floor than the one we saw.”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, view’s not the same.”

Lip nodded in response, “Yeah, it wouldn’t be. Other than that, though, it’s pretty much identical to the one we looked at,” a beat of silence, “You like it?”

Ian grinned, “Definitely. You?”

Lip smiled in response, “Definitely beats the hell out of my old place,” he looked at Ian, “I guess we’re doing this then, huh?”

Ian shrugged, “I already signed the lease, so I definitely am.”

Lip nodded, then gestured toward the door, “Let’s go unload everything.”

They all headed down the elevator to the moving truck.

“This’ll make it way fucking easier, too,” Mickey remarked, “Don’t have to worry about carrying shit up and around staircases.”

Ian chuckled, then mock yelled, “Pivot!!” in an impression of Lip that had all of them laughing.

They got down to the truck and decided to take care of the furniture first. Lip and Ian managed to get Lip’s couch onto the furniture dolly that Mickey was holding steady. He wheeled it into the building, and Lip and Ian each grabbed an accent chair to carry with them.

They got the first pieces of furniture into the living room and arranged them how they wanted them before going back to the truck and unloading the rest of the furniture. It took them about 3 hours to unload everything. Lip went ahead and put his bed together and plopped his mattress on top.

Ian and Mickey went and looked at the room that would be Ian’s, and Mickey could tell that Ian was envisioning how everything would be set up in there. They both quickly realized how exhausted they were from moving, and Mickey nudged Ian, “Wanna head back with me?”

Ian yawned and nodded, and he walked over to Lip’s room. His door was already closed, so Ian knocked once. When he heard a squeal of laughter from Mandy followed by a, “Yeah?” from Lip, Ian knew it was time for him and Mickey to make a quick exit.

“Just wanted to let you know we’re headed back to Mickey’s. See you back here in the morning, and, uh, have fun…I guess,” Ian finished up awkwardly.

Mickey elbowed him as he laughed, “Have fun?”

Ian chuckled in return, “Shut up. Let’s go before we hear things we can’t unhear.”

Mickey visibly shuddered, “Don’t have to tell me twice. Let’s go.”

They both hurried out of the apartment and headed to the L. When they got back to Mickey’s apartment, both men felt the soreness in their muscles from the physicality of moving.

Mickey turned to Ian with a grin, “I believe someone promised me a shower after we got done with moving today.”

Ian returned the smile and nodded before leaning in to kiss Mickey, “Someone sure did, so get your ass in there,” he playfully pushed Mickey in the direction of the bathroom, following behind him.

They both undressed in the bathroom, and Mickey turned on the water for the shower. While they waited for it to warm up, they stood there together, naked, with their arms around each other. As they stood there, Ian brought his hand up to Mickey’s face, rubbing his thumb over Mickey’s cheek. The look in his eyes was almost sad and made Mickey feel like he was trying to memorize his face.

He leaned in to kiss Ian gently on the lips and softly asked, “What’s that look?”

Ian tried to brush it off and shrugged, “Just like looking at you. ‘s that okay?”

Mickey shrugged and nodded, “Yeah, ‘s okay. That wasn’t the look, though, so what gives?”

Ian reached around Mickey to test the water, and when he felt how warm it was, he pulled back the shower curtain for Mickey to get in. Once they were both under the water, they moaned at how amazing and relaxing the strong, warm spray felt against them. They stood there, letting the warm water pelt their upper bodies for a few minutes, then Mickey asked again, “You gonna tell me what that look was about now?”

Ian paused for a few moments, as if considering his response. Finally, he looked at Mickey and shrugged, “Just gonna miss not seeing you every night, I guess. ‘m glad we got the apartment, and I really do love it, but…’m gonna miss coming home with you, you know?”

Mickey smiled at Ian’s sentiment, “Even though you’re gonna be living somewhere else, you know you’re welcome to stay the night here whenever you want. And after you get your room set up in the new place, ‘m planning to weasel my way into sharing that new mattress of yours sometimes, too, by the way.”

“Really?” the pleased surprise was evident in Ian’s voice, as if he hadn’t even considered that Mickey would want to stay with him.

Mickey grinned up at him, “Of course, Gallagher. Not gonna let those fancy digs go to waste.”

Ian’s smile took up his entire face, and Mickey asked, "Did you really think we wouldn't still be sharing a bed now and again after you moved?"

Ian shrugged, "I dunno. I guess...never mind, it's stupid."

"What?" Mickey questioned.

Ian sighed, "I guess I just thought things might be different after I...kinda...move out tomorrow."

Mickey shook his head, "Things'll only be different if you want them to be."

Ian nodded, then grinned at Mickey, "Okay, enough talk about what happens after tomorrow. As for tonight," he swatted Mickey once on the ass, "get clean. I've got plans for you beyond this shower."

Mickey bit his lip and reached down to lightly stroke Ian’s semi, “Mmm, can’t fucking wait.”

Chapter Text

“Oh, fuck…jesus, oh god…oh fuck…yes…oh, shit…’m gonna…feels too fucking good…oh god…shit, ‘m gonna cum…ungh…UNGH…UNGH…”

Mickey felt the pleasure spread through his body as he came from the combo of Ian’s mouth and his fingers.

Goddamn, the man knew what he was doing, and Mickey had zero complaints, but he couldn’t help but wonder…

“Hey,” Mickey said once his heart rate slowed back to normal, “you ever go get tested?”

He felt Ian freeze next to him, so Mickey quickly assured him, “Hey, it’s no big deal. I just remember you saying you wanted to get tested to make sure everything’s good before we fuck.”

Ian still didn’t respond, so Mickey tried to lighten things by saying, “I just get real bitchy if I don’t have anything in my ass every few weeks or so.”

Ian cracked a grin at that, then said, “What about that dildo you keep in your drawer?”

Mickey blushed and shrugged, “Was kinda hoping for the real thing, you know?”

Ian smiled at that and leaned over to kiss him, “I’ll get it done this week, okay? Promise.”

Mickey nodded, and Ian kissed him again before laying back on the bed.

Mickey rubbed his eyes, “Fuck…,” he let out a huge yawn, “nothing like an orgasm to make you realize how fucking tired you are,” he turned to Ian, “ready to go to bed?”

Ian smiled at Mickey and nodded. Mickey turned on his side to turn his bedside lamp off, then he scooted to the middle of the bed, reaching back for Ian’s arm.

Ian smiled softly at the gesture as he scooted up behind Mickey’s body and wrapped his arm around Mickey’s torso. Mickey snuggled against him, and Ian listened as his breathing quickly evened out and Mickey fell asleep.

Even though he was exhausted and knew he needed to sleep, he stayed awake into the early morning hours, memorizing how Mickey’s body felt against his, how his bed felt underneath Ian’s body, the feel of the heartbeat underneath his hand. He lightly kissed the back of Mickey’s shoulder so as not to wake him, then he pressed his lips to Mickey’s hair as he deeply inhaled his smell.

As softly as he could, he whispered, “I promise, Mick. I promise to work on figuring all this out for me a-and for us.”

Mickey didn’t respond, and Ian took a deep breath as he closed his eyes and succumbed to sleep.

Mickey had set an alarm for the next morning so they could get up and go scour some stores for furniture. Much like the previous morning, though, when his alarm went off, Ian just tightened his grip around his torso and nuzzled into his neck.

Since Mickey knew they wouldn’t be sharing a bed every night once Ian was officially moved into his new place, he stayed there, tangling their legs together as he tried to wrap Ian’s arm around him even tighter. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt like something was ending. Like the weeks since he’d brought Ian home from that horrible night to his apartment had been a cocoon for them and their bourgeoning relationship, and now, everything was going to change. Mickey scoffed internally and told his inner dialogue it was stupid and to shut the fuck up. He and Ian would still be together after Ian moved out. Of course, they would be. There was no reason for them not to be.

After a few minutes of snuggling, Mickey turned over to face Ian. He was a little concerned at the saddened look on Ian’s face, and he reached up to cup Ian’s cheek.

“Hey, what’sa matter?” Mickey asked softly.

Ian tried to smile, but couldn’t erase the forlorn look in his eyes, even as he tried to dismiss it, “Just…I dunno…I guess it just feels like reality’s sinking in, you know? Like, I know everything you said last night about us still spending some nights together, but…it’s gonna be different, you know?”

Mickey nodded as he rubbed his thumb across Ian’s cheek, “I know, but different doesn’t mean bad.”

Ian turned his face into Mickey’s palm and closed his eyes as he nuzzled against his hand. He opened his eyes and looked back at Mickey, “’m just gonna miss this, waking up next to you every morning, trying to get you to stay in bed, getting ready for work, going to work with you in the mornings.”

“Hey, there’s nothing that says we can’t still do that part,” Mickey tried to cheer Ian up, “just text me when you’re getting on the train, and I’ll head to the station to catch the same one.”

Ian managed a grin at that, “Yeah, I guess we can do that.”

Mickey tapped his cheek, “Of course we fucking can.”

He leaned in to kiss Ian’s forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment before pulling back, then he moved down to kiss Ian, “Okay, 5 more minutes of cuddling, then we get up and go find you some furniture, yeah?”

Ian nodded and pulled Mickey to lay on his chest as he lightly stroked Mickey’s arm with his fingertips. Mickey sighed in contentment and nuzzled against Ian’s chest. True to his word, five minutes later, he turned his face to place a kiss over Ian’s heart, “Okay, sugar tits, let’s go get ready.”

Ian couldn’t help the burst of laughter that bubbled up at Mickey’s pet name for him, “Sugar tits?”

Mickey blushed and shrugged, “Just trying it out.”

Ian chuckled again, “Okay, then, sweet ass, get outta bed and let’s do this.”

Mickey chuckled in return, and they both got up to start their morning.

Lip was surprised when he called Ian and found that he and Mickey were already headed to the L to go check out some places. He told Ian that he and Mandy were headed back to his apartment to do a final once over, and for Ian to call him when he found some stuff, and they’d come meet them at the store.

They hung up, and Lip and Mandy got ready to head over to his former apartment.

On the way there, they talked about Ian and Mickey’s relationship.

“What’re the chances I’m about to be down a roommate because Mick’s gonna be over at your place all the time?” Mandy asked jokingly.

Remembering the conversation he’d had with Ian a couple of days back, Lip found it difficult to joke back with her, “I dunno,” he said, “maybe not as high as you think.”

Mandy caught on to his more serious tone and responded, “What do you mean by that?”

Lip sighed, realizing he should’ve thought before he said something. He still tried to play off what he was actually thinking by saying, “I just meant that they might split their time between the new place and your place.”

Mandy continued looking at him warily, “I don’t know that I believe you.”

Lip sighed again, “Part of the reason Ian and I are living together is for him to have his own space, right? Doesn’t Mick being at our apartment every night kinda negate that?”

Mandy pondered Lip’s question, “Yeah, I guess you have a good point,” she paused for a moment, “I do wonder how that’s gonna work for them, to essentially go from living together to having their own spaces now. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a good thing, but I wonder if it’ll feel like their relationship is going backward instead of forward.”

“Yeah,” Lip said distantly as he navigated through Chicago traffic, “me, too.”

After going to 3 different stores and not being anywhere closer to finding what he was looking for, Ian plopped down on a bench on the sidewalk and threw his head back in exhaustion and frustration.

He felt, rather than saw, Mickey take a seat beside him, and to his credit, Mickey didn’t say anything about the stores they’d been to or Ian’s seeming inability to find what he wanted.

They sat there quietly for a few moments, then Mickey spoke up, “Can I offer a suggestion?”

Ian spread his arms out in front of him, “Please.”

“What about Ikea?”

Ian paused, “What about it?”

“They’ve got furniture there for way cheaper than the places we’ve looked at so far, and it’s brand new. We can take the L there, look around, then call Lip to bring the truck and load up what you find.”

Ian thought about it for a minute, “Cheaper, huh?”

Mickey nodded, “Like a third of the prices of the shit you’ve looked at today.”

Ian sighed, then looked at Mickey and grinned, “Let’s ride.”

They headed for the L and got on the train for the long ride down to the Ikea store. On the way, Mickey brought out his phone and showed Ian some stuff on the website. Ian started getting more excited about the prospect of getting furniture from there.

“$300 for a bed frame? Holy shit, you were right, Mick! And the nightstand that matches is only $129?”

Mickey chuckled to himself. He should’ve made that suggestion way sooner than he had.

They got to Ikea and got through in record time, especially since Ian had been pretty picky as they looked through furniture at the other places. Thankfully, Ikea had their store separated into specific rooms, so they’d only needed to look in the bedroom section. Ian quickly picked out the bed frame he wanted, and from there, it was easy enough to find a matching dresser and nightstand to go with it. Mickey took a picture of the bin numbers for the materials so they could find them in the warehouse. On the way down there, Ian had also grabbed a couple of pillows, some sheets, and even a comforter-looking thing (the official name was a duvet, but Mickey preferred calling it a comforter-looking thing instead).

They went to the bins to get the materials, and Ian texted Lip on the way to the checkout lines. As they were checking out, Ian got a response that Lip and Mandy would be there to pick up the items in about 15 minutes. That gave Ian and Mickey just enough time to check out and get some meatballs from the Ikea café since they were both starving.

They finished eating and took the boxes down to the loading area. Lip pulled up with the U-Haul, and they loaded the boxes in there. Ian tried to convince Lip to let them ride in the back, but Lip was adamant that he wasn’t going to be responsible for injuries caused by dumbass decisions, and that he and Mandy would see Ian and Mickey at the new apartment.

Ian rolled his eyes, and Mickey flipped him off before they headed to the station. As they found seats on the L, Mickey shrugged, “At least we get to just chill for the next 30 minutes or so.”

Ian looked at him skeptically, and Mickey gave him a small smile, “I’m just saying, man, I can think of worse places to be than right here.”

Ian couldn’t help but smile in response to that, and he reached his hand over to rest on Mickey’s leg. Mickey covered it with his own hand, and they relaxed against each other as they rode to Ian’s new train stop.

Mickey thought about it right before they got to his stop, and he nudged Ian, “Hey, do you wanna maybe go ahead and get your stuff from my place so you can go ahead and have it at yours?”

Ian paused for a second. It was a good suggestion, but there was an air of finality about it that he wasn’t a fan of. Still, “Yeah, that’s a good idea, Mick. We can stop at your place and get my stuff, then hop back on the L and head to the new apartment.”

Mickey squeezed his knee, “Stop’s coming up, Red.”

Ian nodded, and they both stood as they waited for the train to stop at the next station. They made their way to Mickey’s apartment, and Ian grabbed his army duffel and started to stuff his clothes into it. He only had the one pair of shoes he’d taken the night he left Adam’s, so after his clothes were packed, the only thing left to add on top was his medications.

He finished up and turned to Mickey, who was standing in the doorway to his room, “I, uh, I guess that’s all my stuff. You ready?”

Mickey could tell he was trying to make it seem like packing up his stuff and leaving for another place wasn’t a big deal, so he walked over to him and lifted the strap from his shoulder, bringing the bag down with it. Ian looked at him confused, then Mickey wrapped him in a hug. Ian let out a big sigh and melted into it.

Mickey whispered to him, “We’re good, yeah? Nothing’s gonna change that, you hear me?”

Ian nodded slightly as he tucked his face into Mickey’s neck and inhaled. They both hung on for a few more moments, then Mickey pulled back.

“C’mon, Gallagher, let’s go set up your new space.”           

They headed back to the L to continue to Ian’s new apartment. They arrived right as Lip and Mandy had started to unload the boxes. Luckily, with the furniture dolly, they were able to get everything upstairs in one trip.

Lip also grabbed a box that was right outside their door. When he saw the return address, he took the box to Ian’s room and set it just inside, “New mattress.”

Ian stood in his room and looked around at everything. He felt overwhelmed with what he should start with, and Mickey put a hand on his shoulder, “Bed or dresser first?”

Ian took a deep breath, “Bed, definitely bed.”

Mickey located the box and opened it. They got the materials out and started putting all the pieces together, working alongside each other to start putting Ian’s room in place.

Several hours later, the bed was together, the dresser was together, and they were putting the finishing touches on one of the bedside tables.

Ian finished putting the final screw into the piece of furniture and sat back, “Holy fuck! I guess now, I understand why this shit is so cheap.”

Mickey nodded, trying to catch his breath, “Yeah, that’s the one downfall of shit from Ikea. Anything left to put together, Gallagher?”

Ian looked around the room and noticed the box that had his new mattress in it. He gestured toward the box, and Mickey helped him open it. They had to cut into the packaging so Ian’s mattress could expand. They got it out and placed it on the bedframe and watched as it went from flat to regular mattress thickness. After it looked like it was finished expanding, Mickey and Ian looked at each other at the same time before collapsing into it.

They both sighed in relief and exhaustion as they lay there. Mickey turned to Ian, who had his eyes closed, “Should probably get something to eat.”

Ian’s eyes stayed closed as he murmured, “Yeah, probably,” but when he didn’t move from his spot, Mickey found it difficult to care about food as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The next time Mickey opened his eyes, it was dark outside. Ian was sitting up next to him, doing something on his phone.

Mickey yawned and asked, “What time is it?”

“It’s around 10,” Ian replied, “Too tired to go out and look for food, so I ordered something for delivery so I can take my meds and so you won’t starve.”

Mickey smiled at Ian’s thoughtfulness, then said, “I guess after we eat, I should probably head home since that’s where all my shit is.”

Ian shrugged, “I have a better idea. Since I don’t have any shower stuff here, how about you just sleep here with me, then I’ll grab some clothes in the morning, and we’ll go shower at your place before going in for work. Doesn’t that sound better?”

Mickey pondered the idea for a moment, “Yeah, yeah, it does. Let’s do that instead.”

After they finished eating, Ian took the time to put his new sheets on the mattress and handed Mickey one of the pillows he bought that day while putting the other on the side of the bed where he’d be sleeping.

Ian took his meds, then he and Mickey settled in for sleep. Instead of their usual position of spooning, they lay facing each other, their legs tangled together.

They were both blinking slowly as sleep started to set in.

“Bed’s fucking amazing,” Mickey murmured, “might just start staying over here instead of my place.”

Ian chuckled lowly, “Gotta unpack and get everything set up how I want it first.”

Mickey opened his eyes fully at that statement, “I can help you out with that if you want.”

Ian smiled briefly, “I appreciate it, but I think it’s something I want to do for myself, you know?”

Remembering what Mandy had said about the importance of Ian making the space his own, Mickey nodded in understanding, “I get that. If you need any help, though…”

Ian nodded, “I got it. Thanks, Mick.”

Mickey leaned in and kissed his forehead, “Let’s get some sleep, Red.”

Ian settled in next to him and found it easy to drift off to sleep in his new bed in his new apartment.

The next morning arrived, and Ian and Mickey did exactly what they had planned to do as far as getting ready and heading in to work together.

They were both still feeling the physical effects of the move, and both Ash and Geneva found great amusement in watching them wince whenever they moved a certain way or twisted a certain direction.

“You’re both moving like old men,” Ash cackled, and Geneva giggled at the accuracy of their observation.

Somehow, they managed to make it through the day, and when they left for the evening, Mickey asked, “Hey, whatcha doing tonight?”

Ian grinned, “I was gonna work on unpacking, figure out what else I need to get everything set up the way I want it.”

Mickey had anticipated that might be the case, but he still felt a pang at the idea that this was the first night he’d be spending apart from Ian over the past few weeks. He forced a smile anyway and nodded, “Ride with you to my stop?”

Ian smiled, “Yeah, of course.”

They headed for the L, and when they got to Mickey’s stop, he leaned down and brushed his lips against Ian’s, “Later, Gallagher.”

Ian smiled and winked at him, and Mickey felt better about going home by himself that night. He and Ian still texted throughout the evening, and if Ian’s responses took a little longer than usual, Mickey was able to easily justify it by telling himself that Ian was busy unpacking.

The next few nights, however, followed suit, and by the time Friday rolled around, Mickey knew something was wrong. There wasn’t anything anyone could say that would convince him any differently. The last night he’d spent with Ian had been the first official night he and Lip were in their new place. Every evening since then, Ian had given some kind of excuse for not spending time with him. He had to unpack, there were a few more things he needed to get so he could get everything situated in his room the way he wanted it, there was a yoga class he wanted to go to. Okay, so maybe the first two things were legitimate reasons, and maybe he had invited Mickey to come with him to the yoga class and for smoothies afterward, and maybe Mickey had tactfully responded with, “Fuck no, Gallagher.”

But still, the fact remained that Mickey had pretty sharp instincts when it came to reading situations, and something was wrong where Ian was concerned. In addition to the fact that the last night they’d spent together had been almost a week ago, Ian had also been distant while they’d been at the shelter. To the untrained eye, it probably didn’t seem like anything was wrong, but it was obvious to Mickey that there was something Ian was keeping from him, something he wasn’t telling him.

Since it was Friday, Mickey figured it was the perfect opportunity to spend some time with Ian, maybe get a drink and go to his apartment to see the evidence of all the work he’d been putting into his room and the apartment in general.

They were washing dishes after dinner, and Mickey gently hip-checked him, “Hey, whatcha doing after we finish up here?”

“Oh, um, I…” Ian swallowed thickly, “I don’t think I have any plans. Why do you ask?”

Mickey chuckled, “Why do I…? Because I feel like I haven’t seen you this entire week, man!”

Ian jokingly scoffed, “I see you here every day.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, “Not what I mean, Ian. This is work. I mean spending time with you, like going out, or checking out your new digs since you’ve been so focused on unpacking this week.”

Ian didn’t say anything in return for a moment, and the smile slowly fell from Mickey’s face, “Ian?”

Ian didn’t meet his eyes, but he nodded, “Yeah…yeah, we can do that.”

Mickey put up the last plate, “Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been weird and distant all week. What’s up?”

Ian still didn’t make eye contact as he shrugged, “Therapy just has me stuck in my head. Meg thinks I need to see her twice a week for now, so I had my 2^nd appointment on Tuesday morning and another one this morning. It’s just bringing up a lot of shit I didn’t realize or hadn’t thought about in a long time,” he finally looked at Mickey, “but yeah, come check out the new place when we leave here. It’s finally all starting to come together.”

Mickey wondered what was happening in therapy that had Ian so stuck in his thoughts, but he reminded himself that Ian would tell him when he was ready.

Mickey looked at his watch, “Oh, hey, it’s time. Let’s go grab our stuff.”

Ian nodded and walked silently back to the office with Mickey to grab their things. They headed out and started toward the L, but Ian paused.

“What’re you doing?”

Ian groaned internally, then sighed and said, “Mick…we gotta talk.”

Mickey felt his stomach start to drop, “Well, that doesn’t sound good.”

Ian took a deep breath, “I think we need to take a step back from everything.”

Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed, “Take a step ba-…the fuck does that mean?”

“I don’t know…like a break, you know? Like with Ross and Rachel from Friends?”

“The fuck are you talking about right now??”

Ian started getting frustrated with his inability to find the right words, “I…we…fuck…I think we rushed into this, and I think we need to step back, put the brakes on things a little.”

“So, you mean stop seeing each other.”

“I don’t…not like…maybe? Fuck, I don’t know…I guess so?”

Mickey nodded and thumbed the side of his nose as he turned away from Ian, taking a deep breath as he did. Ian waited for his response, and when Mickey turned back to him, Ian saw moisture in the corner of his eyes.

“So, this is it,” Mickey said, almost as if he was in shock, “This is you breaking up with me…fuck…”

“No! No, it’s not! I’m not breaking up with you! I just…we rushed into this, Mickey, and we need to slow things down, okay? I just need some time to figure shit out, work through some things.”

Mickey nodded and looked like he was trying to digest the information Ian was telling him.

“Mick?”

“How long?”

“Wha…?”

“How. Long?”

Ian threw his arms up in an exaggerated shrug, “I have no idea! I’ve gotta get shit straight in my head, but I have no idea how long that’s gonna take.”

Mickey huffed out a humorless laugh, “So, what? You just expect me to sit around and wait for some undetermined length of time for you to finally be ready for this? For us?”

Tears of frustration and sadness came to Ian’s eyes. Nothing about this was going like he’d hoped it would. It didn’t seem to matter what he said or how much he tried to get Mickey to understand what he meant. Mickey was upset, and Ian couldn’t really blame him. He could understand why Mickey was responding the way he was, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

Ian could feel the tears hovering on his lashes as he shook his head and sighed, “You don’t owe me anything.”

He turned away to wipe his eyes, and he heard a small sob come from the man beside him. He looked up and saw a few tears running down Mickey’s face.

In a strained voice, he said, “Don’t do this, Ian…please don’t…I love you.”

Ian felt his heart soar. All he wanted to do was tell Mickey that he loved him, too, but he wanted to tell him that once he’d worked through things. Tears fell from his eyes, “Mick…I wanna be whole for you. I don’t wanna be this broken person who needs to be fixed. I don’t wanna feel like that. I wanna be the person you deserve. Can’t you see that?”

Mickey huffed out a frustrated sigh before shaking his head, “I’ve told you that this…who you are right now…is enough for me. Why isn’t it enough for you?”

Ian didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. After a few minutes of waiting for him to respond and being met with silence, Mickey looked at him and shook his head again as tears slid down his cheeks, “Fuck you, Gallagher.”

Before Ian could say anything else, Mickey turned and quickly walked to the L station.

Ian stood on the sidewalk for a few moments before burying his face in his hands and yelling, “FUCK!!!” into them. After he let that out, he realized that not only had Mickey not understood what he was trying to tell him, but he also had no idea how Ian really felt about him.

With another growl of frustration at himself, Ian took off toward the station. He got there just in time to see the train that Mickey was likely on leaving the station. He waited for the next one, then held on to one of the bars impatiently until it got to the stop for Mickey and Mandy’s apartment.

He sprinted from the station to their apartment and started pressing the buzzer repeatedly for their apartment. The button to let him in never came, and after a few minutes, he saw Mandy coming down the stairs toward him.

She came to the doorway and opened the door but didn’t let him in.

“Mandy, I have to…I have to see Mickey, I have to talk to him. I tried…he thinks that…but I don’t, and I’ve gotta…I didn’t mean to…”

Mandy looked at him with a sympathetic look in her eyes, “Ian, believe me when I say that out of me, Lip, and Mickey, I’m the one who understands the most about what you’re going through right now and what’s happening and the reason for all of it. I get it, okay?”

“So, then…”

“But,” Mandy continued, “right now, Mickey’s really upset and hurting and not in any space to talk to you or listen or try to understand where you’re coming from. And I need to be up there with him to support him. I already texted Lip, and he’s waiting for you to come home.”

“Mandy…,” Ian looked at her helplessly, tears leaking from his eyes.

“I know, Ian, I do. Go work on figuring out your shit, and give Mickey some time, okay?”

“Can you just…just tell him that…”

“Ian, you have my word that as soon as he’s ready to listen, I’m going to explain this to him, try to get him to understand where you’re coming from. But not tonight. Tonight, go home to Lip, okay?”

Ian nodded and started to walk toward the L station. After a few steps, he turned back and looked at Mandy, completely forlorn, “I’m so sorry, Mandy, for all of this. This isn’t how I wanted it to go. I’m doing this to try to make things better for us in the long run. I’m doing this because I lo-“

“Ian,” Mandy’s no-nonsense tone got his attention, “I know, okay? I know all of that. I’m on your side. I am the number one cheerleader for Team Gallavich. But tonight, I have to be Team Mickey.”

Ian met her eyes, and she nodded seriously, “Go home, Ian.”

Ian sighed and nodded and turned to walk away again. He turned back one last time and looked up at the window of Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. He sighed heavily and headed to the L. He didn’t remember anything about the train ride to the next stop or his walk to the apartment building.

He unlocked the door, and as promised, Lip was waiting just inside. He looked at Ian with sympathetic eyes, and Ian barely sobbed out, “Lip…,” before Lip was right there to wrap his arms around his brother as Ian’s body sagged against his and started shaking with sobs.

“’m right here, E…’m right here.”

Chapter Text

Ian had cried himself almost to sleep against Lip’s shoulder when he’d come through the door. Lip was curious to know exactly what happened since Mandy’s text had just given him the basics, but he could read the room well enough to know that now wasn’t the time to ask for details.

He gently rubbed Ian’s back, “Let’s go get your meds and get you to bed, yeah?”

Ian barely nodded against his shoulder, and Lip walked with him to the door of his bathroom. While Ian was getting his meds out, Lip tore off a couple of squares of toilet paper so Ian could wipe his face.

He held them out, and Ian took them, wiped his face, and blew his nose.

He looked in the mirror and grimaced, “Jesus…I fucking look like shit.”

Lip stood at the doorway to the bathroom, “I think you’re allowed to look like shit when it’s been a shitty night, you know?”

Ian nodded and then took his meds. He gripped the counter and looked down into the sink.

“You, uh, you wanna talk about it?” Lip asked.

Ian closed his eyes and shook his head, “Not tonight.”

Lip nodded, “Think you can get some sleep?”

Ian shrugged, his eyes still closed, “Maybe now that I’ve taken my meds,” he cracked one eye open and looked at Lip, “strong emphasis on the maybe.”

Lip looked at him sympathetically, “You wanna, uh, you wanna sleep in my room?”

Ian managed a small smile, “Nah, I appreciate it, but I think you might second guess that offer when you wake up with me spooning you, thinking you’re him, in the morning.”

Lip couldn’t help but chuckle just a little, “Yeah, good point. Definitely don’t need to feel your morning wood in my back.”

Ian managed to huff out a single laugh, “Fuck you, asshole. Not like it would be intended for you anyway.”

Any sort of smile that might’ve been on Ian’s face faded with the realization that the person his morning wood was intended for wouldn’t be there the following morning, that he’d be waking up by himself with no end to that in sight.

“E…,” he looked up over at Lip, “‘m not gonna make you talk about it now. I know it’s been a rough evening, but do yourself a favor—don’t keep this inside, okay? Talk to me, talk to Meg, talk to one of your co-workers at the shelter, just talk to someone about what happened and where your head’s at.”

Ian nodded and heaved out a big sigh, “I will,” when Lip looked at him skeptically, Ian said, emphatically, “I will, okay? Promise.”

Lip nodded, then walked over to give Ian one more hug as he kissed the side of his head, “If you need anything, I’m right across the living room, yeah?”

Ian nodded against Lip’s shoulder, and Lip squeezed his arms before leaving Ian’s room. He closed the door behind him, then looked at the door to his own bedroom before looking at the couch. Already knowing where he was going to spend the night, he went to his room and grabbed a pillow and a blanket. If there was one thing that did not come easy for Ian, it was taking the initiative to reach out for help, so Lip was going to be close by to watch and listen for signs that his brother needed him. After what had happened that night, it was the least he could do.

The next morning, the sunlight came in through the balcony door, and Lip cursed himself for not putting up curtains across the door like he had in his room. He checked his phone and saw that it was still early. He sat up and stretched, cracking his back and his neck as he moved from side to side, trying to shake off the discomfort of having slept on the couch.

He got up and quietly opened Ian’s bedroom door. His little brother had managed to get some sleep, it looked like, even though the dried tear tracks on his cheeks were obvious as he hugged a pillow to his chest. Lip sighed and pulled his bedroom door closed. He went to look in the fridge, only to be reminded that they hadn’t really had an opportunity to go grocery shopping yet.

Since he was awake, he decided he’d go do that, then maybe surprise Ian by making breakfast for him—a gesture of comfort and care—especially if he still wasn’t in the mood to talk that morning. He sent a text to Ian’s phone just in case he woke up before Lip got back.

Lip looked up nearby grocery stores on his phone and set out to look around his new neighborhood.

He found a store pretty easily, and as he meandered through the aisles, he decided to text Mandy.

Morning, Mands. Just checking in on you and to see how Mickey’s doing. Do you know what happened last night?  

Morning, boyfriend. I managed to get Mickey’s side of it, but as we all know, there’s at least 2 sides to every story. I think I was able to piece together the gist of what happened. He’ll be okay, I think. He’s not okay right now, ended up falling asleep on the couch after he exhausted himself from crying, and he said he didn’t think he could sleep in his bed. How’s Ian?  

He cried himself almost to sleep on my shoulder before I got him to go take his meds. I checked on him this morning, and he was asleep, but I could tell he cried more after I left his room last night.  

What a fucking mess.  

You’re telling me. So, how do we fix it?  

I don’t think we do.  

What the fuck? We both know they love each other.  

Yeah, they do, but I think this is something they have to work out on their own. We can’t do it for them, Lip.  

Yeah, I know that, I just hate to see my brother this upset.  

Same. Look, I told Ian that when Mickey’s ready to listen, I’m going to talk to him about all of this, try to get him to understand because I get it. My god, do I get it. But until then, I’m gonna be there to listen and support him. That’s really all we can do right now, you know?  

Fuck, I guess you’re right. I’m gonna try to get Ian to talk to me over breakfast, try to get a better read on what exactly happened last night.  

Did you know?  

Know what?  

About what Ian was going to do?  

I'm not really sure exactly what happened, but I know it’s complicated. He talked to me a little last weekend. At first, he said he thought he was going to have to break things off, but after we talked, I thought he had landed on talking to Mickey about just taking a step back from things since they jumped so quickly into a committed relationship and were essentially living together. From what you’ve said, and from what I saw from Ian last night, I’m guessing that’s not what happened.  

Let’s just say that miscommunication and misunderstandings abounded on both their parts.  

Yeah, sounds about right. Okay, I’m gonna finish up getting groceries, then head back to the apartment. Talk to you later?  

Later, boyfriend.

Lip smiled. He really cared about Mandy and loved that “boyfriend” was her pet name for him. He was lucky to have her, and he hoped that their relationship would only continue to strengthen the more he learned about her and got to know all things Mandy Milkovich.

“Yo,” Lip called out as he entered the apartment. He set the bags on the counter and went to Ian’s bedroom door and knocked, “Ian? You up?”

There was no response, so he cracked the door and saw that Ian was still laying in bed but had his eyes open.

“Hey, I’m gonna fix some breakfast. You wanna come out here with me while I do that?”

“Just leave me alone,” came the gravelly whisper from Ian on his bed.

“Ian? You’ve gotta eat, man. You know that.”

A heavy sigh was all Lip got in response, so he tried again, “C’mon, E, you might feel better if you get out of bed.”

“Leave me alone!!!”

“Okay, okay, I got it. I’ll leave you alone while I make breakfast, but I’m coming back in here with a plate for you.”

There was no further response, so Lip shut Ian’s door and went to go make breakfast.

He wasn’t surprised when he finished cooking and there hadn’t been any sign of movement in Ian’s room. He plated their food and walked over to Ian’s room. He balanced the plates as he opened the door, and he went over and sat down on the other side of the bed as he placed his plate in front of him and placed Ian’s next to him.

“’m not hungry,” Ian rasped.

Lip nodded, “Yeah, I know, but I also know you need to take your meds with food, so come on, a few bites with a medication chaser, and I won’t bug you to eat anymore.”

He received a glare in response, but he didn’t back down from what he’d said. Finally, Ian heaved a heavy sigh and propped himself up on an elbow. Lip had made banana pancakes, which were his favorite, and eggs and bacon to go along with them. Ian appreciated the gesture, but he wasn’t in any sort of headspace to acknowledge it. He managed to eat half a pancake, 3 forkfuls of eggs, and 1 ½ slices of bacon before getting out of bed and stumbling into his bathroom. Lip heard Ian’s medication organizer pop open and the sound of Ian swallowing his meds before he came back over to the bed.

He scooted the plate over and looked pointedly at Lip, “Food eaten, meds taken, now will you leave me alone?”

Lip sighed, “’m not gonna let this pull you into a low, Ian. You get the rest of today to wallow and be sad, but tomorrow, we’re getting up, you’re showering, and we’re getting out of this apartment, okay?”

Ian glared at him as he pulled the covers over him and said softly, “’m allowed to be sad, Lip.”

“Huh?”

“I said,” Ian leaned up and looked at Lip, “I’m allowed to be sad. I fucked up something with someone I really care about, and I dunno if I’m going to be able to get him back or if I should even try. Not every strong emotion I have is a bipolar episode.”

Lip sighed, “That’s fair. ‘m sorry, E. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just know that stressful situations can cause a swing. I don’t want you to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”

Ian took a deep breath and decided to give his brother a break, “I know, and this isn’t that, okay? I just…fuck…”

He took a shaky breath, and a whimpered cry came from the back of his throat.

“Okay, okay,” Lip moved the plates from Ian’s bed to his dresser, then he stretched out beside him, “Whatd’ya need, E? What can I do?”

Ian blinked back tears, “Just…let me be sad today, maybe even tomorrow. Don’t need to call in reinforcements unless I refuse to get out of bed come Monday.”

Lip nodded, “Okay…do you at least want to talk about what happened?”

Ian shrugged and gave Lip a sad smile, “I told him we needed to take a step back. He thought I meant we needed to break up. I tried to explain that’s not what I was saying. He asked how long I needed. I told him I had no idea. He asked me not to do this and told me…he told me…,” at that point, Ian couldn’t hold back his tears any longer, and he started crying, “he fucking told me that he loves me, Lip! I told him I wanted to be whole for him because that’s what he deserves, and he asked me why it wasn’t enough for me that he accepted me just like I am now.”

Lip sucked in a breath, “Wow…what did, uh, what did you say?”

Ian huffed out a wet, humorless laugh, “What the fuck could I say, huh? I said nothing, and he left. I tried going to their apartment, but he doesn’t want to see me or talk to me. I really fucked this up, Lip.”

“Her text makes more sense now,” Lip mused, almost to himself.

“What?” Ian asked.

Lip shook his head, “Nothing. I don’t think you fucked this up, though, Ian. It sounds like the two of you can patch things up after things calm down a bit.”

Ian looked skeptical, “Yeah, I don’t know about that. Mickey didn’t seem interested in what I had to say, and I can’t imagine that’s gonna change anytime soon.”

Lip shrugged, “He’s hurting, Ian. No one’s in a frame of mind to listen when they’re hurting.”

Ian pondered that for a moment, and Lip continued, “While you’re waiting for things to calm down a bit, maybe you could work on figuring out an answer to his question.”

Ian looked confused, “What question? About how long I need?”

“Nah,” Lip shook his head, “his question about why him accepting you as you are right now isn’t enough for you.”

Meanwhile, Mandy was having less luck with getting Mickey to listen to anything she tried to say.

“Did I tell you that he couldn’t even fucking say ‘I love you’ back to me? First time I’ve ever fucking said it, and this is what happens. Fuck…how’m I gonna go back to the shelter and face him, Mands? Guess I’m gonna have to look for somewhere else where I can finish up my hours because I can not work side-by-side with him after this. I should’ve fucking known better…shoulda known he—and this—were too good to be true. Shoulda seen this coming a mile away.”

“Mick…”

“I really thought he loved me, too, or that he was at least getting there, you know? How could I have misread that? Do you think he was just using me the past few weeks, Mandy? You know, I got him outta that shitty situation, and he needed a place to stay. Maybe he felt like he owed it to me or something, or fuck, I dunno, maybe it was just about sex for him.”

“Mickey…”

“And Jesus…how’m I gonna sleep in my bed now without thinking about him? It’s like he’s on every fucking surface in there. My room fucking smells like him, so I guess this,” he gestured at the living room, “is my new fucking room since I can’t go in there without missing him. How’m I gonna do this, Mandy?”

“Jesus, would you let me fucking talk??”

Mickey’s mouth snapped shut at Mandy’s outburst, and he turned surprised eyes toward her. She used the brief moment of stunned silence to continue, “Sorry, I get that there are a lot of thoughts swirling in your brain right now, but I’ve been trying to get a word in edgewise for at least the past 5 minutes.”

Mickey gave a brief nod in a gesture for her to continue, so she did.

“Mickey, I know this is still fresh, and it sucks, and you’re hurting. But from what you’ve told me about what happened, and from what Lip’s told me, this isn’t unfixable. It sounds like you and Ian need to sit down and have a conversation where you both talk,” Mickey opened his mouth as if to say something, but Mandy finished her sentence, “and you both listen.”

Mickey sighed and shrugged dejectedly, “I think he said all he needed to say last night. I certainly don’t need to hear any more about how he doesn’t wanna be with me.”

Mandy sighed with frustration and gritted her teeth, trying to stay calm and supportive for her brother, “I’m just saying…I think there’s more to the story, Mick. Is this really how you want to let it end?”

Mickey broke eye contact and looked down, and Mandy reached over to touch his shoulder, “Just think about it, okay?”

Mickey gave a brief nod, then said, “I think ‘m gonna take off Monday, use the extra day that Mary gave us and try to get my head on straight before I have to see him on Tuesday,” he looked back at Mandy and shrugged, “Monday’s just too soon.”

Ian managed to make it out of his room to the kitchen Sunday evening, and Lip ordered his favorite pizza for dinner to reward the effort Ian was obviously trying to make.

While they waited on the pizza, Lip asked, “How’re you gonna manage seeing him tomorrow?”

Ian blew out a long breath, “I don’t fucking know. I mean, do I try to talk to him? Do I avoid him? Do I act like everything’s fine?”

Lip shrugged, “Yeah, I have no idea. Is there a ‘best choice’ in any of the ones you just mentioned?”

Ian sighed, “I can’t imagine he’ll want to talk to me, so maybe I should just give him some space tomorrow? And the next day and the one after that and the one after…”

“Ian,” Lip gave him a half-grin, “you are going to have to talk to him at some point. You know that, right?”

Ian looked down at the ground and nodded, “Yeah, I know. But what the fuck do I say?”

The next morning, Ian took a deep breath as he arrived at the shelter. He decided to just rip the bandage off and walked in with an air of confidence he didn’t actually feel. When he got to the office, Ash and Geneva were in there, but Mickey was nowhere to be found

Ian had gotten to work right on time, so it didn’t make sense to him why Mickey wasn’t there. Both Ash and Geneva looked at him with questioning eyes, but just as he was about to ask if they knew where Mickey was, Mary walked into their office.

“Milkovich is taking the day off today. He’ll be back tomorrow. Now, what’s on everyone’s agenda for the day?”

Both Ash and Geneva gave Mary a rundown of the things they were going to take care of, and when she looked over at Ian, it was obvious he was completely distracted and hadn’t been paying attention.

“Gallagher…”

Ian’s head popped up, and his eyes met Mary’s, “Yeah, uh, sorry, Mary, um, I’m gonna get in touch with Tara’s guardian ad litem this morning about things with her mom, and I’m gonna call…uh…,” he scrambled with some papers on his desk, “Damian and Luke’s guardians, see if they’re any closer to finding permanent housing for them.”

Mary raised an eyebrow at Ian but didn’t say anything else besides, “Sounds good, team. You know where I am if you need me,” and with that, she left the office.

Ash and Geneva looked at each other, then at Ian, and Geneva asked, “Is Mickey okay?”

Ian’s shoulders crumpled, and he shrugged, “I guess. Maybe he’s just taking today off.”

Ash shot Geneva a look, then looked at Ian, “You mean, you didn’t know he was going to be off today? Okay, what happened?”

Ian thought about playing it off but knew he’d never fool either one of them, so instead, he took let out a deep sigh and said, “Mickey and I are, uh, taking some time apart.”

There was a beat of silence, then Ash asked, “Like a break or a breakup?”

“What’s the difference?” Geneva asked.

“In a break,” Ash started explaining, “you just need a breather of sorts, but the intent to get back together is there. In a breakup, there is no intent of reconciliation, and that usually signals the end of said relationship. So,” they turned back to Ian, “break or breakup?”

Ian shrugged miserably, “I meant it as a break, but I think he took it as a breakup.”

“Why would he think you meant breakup?”

Ian ran his hand through his hair, “I don’t know. ‘s such a fucking mess. I told him I thought we should take a step back and put the brakes on a little. He asked if I meant we should stop seeing each other. I told him I guessed that was what I meant,…”

“Ooh…oh, Ian…”

“Yikes, honey, you got some explaining to do.”

Geneva visibly winced at Ian's account of what had happened as both she and Ash interjected into what Ian was saying.

“But I didn’t mean forever!” Ian insisted, “I just meant that while we were taking a step back from things, that meant we’d be taking a break from dating, being in a relationship, living together…fuck…all of it.”

Ian sighed, “Anyway, he begged me not to, then asked why me being enough for him wasn’t enough for me.”

Geneva and Ash looked at each other, then they turned their sympathetic looks to Ian.

“And?” Ash prompted him.

“And what?” Ian asked.

“What’d you tell him?” Geneva asked.

“I…I didn’t say anything. Didn’t have anything to say in response to that.”

A few moments of silence went by, then Geneva softly spoke up, “Have you thought about an answer to his question?”

Ian sighed and shook his head, “I told him that I wanted to be whole, like he deserves, instead of how…broken…I feel.”

Geneva sighed, “Ian...we’re all broken.”

There was a damp sheen over Ian’s eyes as he looked at her, then he looked over at Ash.

Ash nodded their head, “Afraid so, honey. Being broken is part of how we come into the kind of work we do.”

Ian let out a ragged breath, and Geneva spoke up, “Ian, if you feel like you have some shit you need to work through in therapy, that’s one thing. That’s a good thing, and I—we,” she shot a glance at Ash, who nodded, “think you should do that.”

She walked over to Ian’s desk and knelt down next to him so she could look him directly in the eye, “But if you think for one second that what you’ve been through and what you’re trying to work through makes you anything less than a whole ass person, you’re just completely fucking wrong.”

A few tears spilled down Ian’s cheeks, but there was something healing in Geneva's statement that lightened the weight on his shoulders and made him open his eyes and more clearly see what Mickey might’ve meant when he’d asked the question about Ian accepting himself.

Now, he just had to talk to him.

Chapter Text

Tuesday came, and Ian went to his therapy appointment with Meg that morning.

When he was called back for his appointment, he walked into her office and sat down. She smiled pleasantly as she greeted him, “Morning, Ian.”

He returned the greeting, and she said, “So, tell me about you, how’re you doing this morning?”

Ian sighed, “Not great, honestly. Mickey and I…I don’t know if we broke up on Friday, but I feel like he thinks we did or that I wanted to, and…I don’t know. Everything’s just really fucked up right now.”

“Okay,” Meg said, “start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”

“So…we’ve been talking some about how it might be a good idea for me to take a step back from the intensity of mine and Mickey’s relationship on account of how I pretty much jumped from being in an abusive relationship with Adam to essentially living with Mickey.”

Meg nodded, “Right.”

“Okay, so, I started doing that a little. He spent the first night with me that Lip and I were in the new apartment, then after that, I was trying to unpack and personalize my room. Up until now, I was either living at home or with whoever I was dating if it lasted more than a few months. And I really wanted to do that on my own. Then I tried to invite him to go to a yoga class with me, and he adamantly refused, so I went without him. And by the time last Friday rolled around, I started to see how not spending every night with him was giving me space to sorta get to know myself again and figure out who I am and what I like when it comes to my surroundings and things I like to do.”

Meg commented, “All of that sounds pretty positive so far, Ian. What happened on Friday?”

Ian frustratedly ran his hands through his hair, “At the end of work, Mickey asked if I had plans, and he said he wanted to come see what I’d been working on with my room at the new apartment. I told him I thought we needed to take a step back from things and put the brakes on our relationship. He thought I was breaking up with him, I tried to tell him I wasn’t, then he asked if I meant we should stop seeing each other. I told him I guessed that was what I meant, then tried to explain that I needed to figure things out for myself. He asked how long that was gonna take, and I told him I didn’t know. He asked if that meant that he was supposed to just sit around and wait until I decided I was ready. He, uh, finished our…whatever…by telling me that he accepted me just as I am, then asked why that wasn’t enough for me.”

“I see, and did you respond to him?”

Ian shook his head, “Not to that, no. I didn’t have an answer to give him. I did, uh, I did tell him that I wanted to be whole for him, and that I felt like I was broken, and that he doesn’t deserve that.”

Meg nodded, “There’s a lot I want us to unpack here, Ian, but the first thing I want to ask is why it sounds like you’d already decided what was going to happen with your relationship instead of talking to Mickey about what you had been thinking and figuring out what that might look like.”

Ian sighed, “I…I dunno. I thought I was just telling him what I wanted and needed.”

“Ian, with the things we’ve talked about in our sessions so far, my feedback and suggestions have come from a general place of concern. But, admittedly, I don’t know Mickey, and I don’t know the dynamics of your relationship with him. You do. When it comes to your and Mickey’s relationship, you are the expert here, not me. I can tell you, however, that when you’re trying to figure something out as a couple, it’s important for each one of you to say your piece as well as listen to what the other person has to say. With what happened on Friday, do you think you both did that?”

Ian sighed and looked down, “No,” he replied, “we didn’t. I guess I just sorta blurted things out, then I got flustered and started backpedaling when he misunderstood what I was trying to say. And now, he won’t talk to me.”

“Have you tried to talk to him since then?”

Ian shrugged, “After things kind of…derailed on Friday evening, I went over to his apartment and pressed the button to be let in. His sister came down and told me that he wasn’t in a space to hear what I had to say because things were too fresh, and he was hurting…and probably angry, too.”

Meg nodded, “Communicating your wants and needs is a good thing, Ian. That’s an important thing to be able to do, and you’re making good progress with that. In a relationship, you just need to make sure that both you and your partner are listening to each other as well as talking to each other.”

Ian nodded in understanding.

“Now, we have more left to talk about, but we are almost out of time for today, so it looks like the rest will have to wait until another session. In our last few minutes, is there anything you want to talk about before our time is up?”

Ian sighed, “Mickey was off yesterday, but he’s supposed to be back at work today. What do I do?”

Meg looked at him matter-of-factly, “Think about what you want to say to him and how you want to say it. Keep in mind he might not be in a place where he’s ready to talk to you yet, but focus…”

“On what I can control,” Ian finished, “And what I can control is taking the initiative to try and talk to him.”

Meg smiled, “You got it. Great work today, Ian. I’ll see you again on Friday.”

Ian nodded and got up to leave, tossing a wave at Meg as he left.

Once again, when he reached the door to Hopeful Place, he took a deep breath, opened the door, and entered with an air of confidence he didn’t feel. When he got to the office, Mickey wasn’t there yet, but it was still a little early.

As the clock ticked over to 10:30, Mickey slipped in the door and set his things down at his desk. He didn’t make eye contact with any of them, and a few minutes later, Mary sailed in for the morning check-in.

 After she left, Ian tried to summon the courage to go try to start a conversation with Mickey. He could practically feel the looks of anticipation Ash and Geneva were giving each other.

Finally, with a deep breath, Ian walked over to Mickey’s desk, “Hey, Mick…Mickey…can we, uh, can I talk to you?”

Mickey sighed as he pretended to organize things on his desk, “Look, Gallagher, if this is about Friday, don’t worry about it, okay? You don’t have to say anything.”

Ian looked at him pleadingly, even though Mickey was looking everywhere but at him, “Please, Mickey…please just talk to me.”

Mickey scrubbed a hand over his face, “I…can we just focus on work today? I…I need some time to be ready to talk about this.”

Ian sighed dejectedly and said softly, “Okay…okay, I can understand that. Can you just, like, I dunno, let me know when you’re ready to talk?”

Mickey nodded, and Ian walked back over to his desk. As soon as Ian sat back down, Mickey jumped up, “I’m gonna go…take a look at the menu for dinner tonight.” He disappeared out of the office before anyone could say anything.

As soon as he’d left, Ian scrubbed his hands down his face. He looked over at Ash and Geneva and saw the sympathetic look on both of their faces. He shrugged and sighed, and Ash said, “Don’t worry, honey, he’ll come around. Just give him some time.”

Ian looked over at Geneva, and she nodded. He recalled what he’d told Meg at the end of his therapy session that day. He could only control what he did, and he’d asked to talk to Mickey. He couldn’t control when (or if) Mickey would be ready to talk to him.

The day continued, and Ian could admit that Mickey was doing a far better job at pretending everything was fine and business as usual than he was. It took a great deal of self-control for him not to grab Mickey by the arm and just blurt out everything he was thinking and feeling and make Mickey listen to him. He could only imagine how badly that would go, and that, plus the fact that Mickey had asked for some time before he’d be ready to discuss things, was why he hadn’t.

Ian tried as best he could, but it was pretty obvious to everyone that he was distracted.

“Ian?” a quiet voice sounded behind him. He startled, then turned and saw Luke standing there.

“Hey, Luke, what’s up?”

Luke blushed bright red, “I was wondering…can I ask you something?”

Ian smiled kindly, “Sure you can. Do you wanna come sit over here on one of the couches?”

Luke nodded shyly and followed Ian over to a quiet corner of the rec room.

“What’s on your mind, Luke?”

“Um, are you…are you gay?”

Ian nodded, “I am. Was that your question?”

Luke paused, then nodded, “It was one of them.”

“Okay, what else did you want to ask me?”

“How, um, how do you know if you like someone, you know, like that?”

“You mean romantically?”

Luke nodded and looked down.

Ian’s mind immediately went to Mickey, “Well, you want to be around them as much as possible. When something good or bad happens, they’re the first person you wanna tell it to. Your heartbeat starts to speed up when you’re around them. Your hands might start to feel clammy. You might think about kissing them.”

By this time, Luke’s face and neck were bright red, so Ian asked, “Is there someone who makes you feel that way?”

Luke slightly nodded and glanced up at Ian. Ian waited to see if he had more of a response he wanted to give.

Luke took a deep breath, and it all came out in a big jumble of words, “IthinkI’mgayandIlikeyou.”

It took Ian’s brain a moment to process the words, and he said, “Luke, I feel like what you just said was really important. Can you say it again, slower this time?”

Luke took a couple of deep breaths, then said, “I, uh, I think I’m gay, and…I likeyou.”

The final 2 words were strung together, but Ian understood what he’d said.

“Luke, first of all, thank you for trusting me with your truth. Is that the first time you’ve told someone?”

Luke nodded, “First time I’ve said it out loud.”

“Wow,” Ian smiled at him, “that’s really big, Luke. It can be scary to say it, so you should be really proud of yourself for doing that.”

Luke smiled hopefully at Ian, and Ian winced internally. He knew the next part of what he was going to say had to be said, but he didn’t relish what Luke’s reaction might be.

“Secondly, Luke, I’m flattered, but you know I can’t…we can’t have any sort of relationship like that, right?”

Luke immediately deflated, even as he was nodding his head, and he whispered, “Yeah, I know…’m sorry I said anything.”

“No!” Ian exclaimed, “No, no, no, don’t be sorry, Luke. What you did just now takes a lot of courage. Not only coming out to someone for the first time, but telling them how you feel about them, too? Loads and loads of bravery, Luke.”

A small smile appeared on Luke’s face, “Yeah?”

Ian nodded, “Absolutely. Telling someone how you feel about them is not for the weak, that’s for sure. And sometimes, when you tell someone how you feel, they might feel the same way. Other times, they might not, but if you come across someone who doesn’t, that doesn’t mean you should keep your feelings inside when you come across someone else you like.”

The smile on Luke’s face grew, “Thanks, Ian.”

“Hey, you’re welcome, Luke. Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

Luke shook his head, his shyness returning, “Not right now.”

Ian smiled at him one more time, “Okay, if that changes, you know where to find me. Right now, though, I’m gonna go help get dinner started.”

Luke nodded, and Ian got up to head to the kitchen. As he did, he thought about what Luke had just done and what he’d said to him. Maybe there was something to be said for following Luke’s example and being open with how you feel. He didn’t have to force Mickey to talk about things before he was ready in order to tell him how he was feeling. He just needed Mickey to listen.

After dinner, Ian went to the kitchen to start getting the dishes ready to wash. He heard a noise behind him, and his heart leaped into his throat. He turned around, hoping to see Mickey, but instead, it was Geneva who was walking in through the doorway.

She saw Ian’s face fall, and she looked at him apologetically, “Sorry, E. He asked me if I’d trade after dinner clean-up assignments with him this week.”

Ian nodded. He couldn’t say he was surprised, but he was definitely disappointed. He tried to smile at Geneva, “No apologies needed, G. ‘s not your fault, and,” he shrugged, “I get it.”

They went about washing dishes and talking about mostly nothing. They had just finished the last dish, and they heard Mickey call out, “G’night, guys, see you tomorrow!”

Ian looked at Geneva pleadingly, and her eyes widened as she read the look in his eyes. She nodded and nudged him, “Go!”

Ian took off from the kitchen, not even grabbing his things from the office. He threw open the shelter door, preparing to have to run to catch up with Mickey. What happened instead is that he almost bowled Mickey over as he stood just outside the shelter, trying to light up a cigarette.

Mickey looked up in shock and said, “Whoa! What the hell, Gallagher?”

It hadn’t even been that far, but the fear that he was going to miss Mickey and the burst of adrenaline had Ian almost panting as he got his bearings.

“Sorry,” Ian tried to get his breathing under control, “I thought I might’ve missed you, so I was preparing to have to run to catch up.”

Mickey looked at him confused, “I thought I said earlier that…”

Ian nodded, “I know. You need some time before you’ll be ready to talk about things. I heard you, and I respect that. I just have to say one thing, though, Mickey.”

Mickey opened his mouth to say something, but Ian kept going, “I’m sorry…I’m sorry for not talking to you about where my head was at before Friday. I’m sorry for blurting things out the way I did. I’m sorry for making it sound like I don’t wanna be with you, because I do, Mickey…so, so much. I just…I want it to be right, you know? I want to have my head on straight and not be carrying my past…shit…with me.”

Ian paused, and Mickey looked at him expectantly. Ian huffed out a breath, “So…that’s it. That’s what I wanted to say, so, you know, whenever you’re ready to talk…if you’re ready to talk…if there’s still something to talk about, then…”

“Shut the fuck up, Gallagher,” Mickey said, with no heat in it, as he smirked at Ian, “you talk too fucking much. That was, like,” Mickey paused as he counted on his fingers, “five different things.”

Ian waited and watched as Mickey lit his cigarette then reached up to scratch his jaw. Ian could tell he was turning over everything Ian had just said in his mind. Finally, he looked at Ian, nodded, and said, “Thanks for telling me all that.”

He turned to head toward the L, leaving Ian feeling more confused than ever. Was that good? Were they good? He didn’t know what he’d been expecting as a response, but he’d been expecting some kind of response at least. More than the almost nothing he’d just gotten.

Just as Ian was turning around to head back inside the shelter, he heard, “Hey, Gallagher!”

He looked up, and his eyes met Mickey’s, “End of the week. We’ll…talk some shit out, I guess.”

Ian’s face lit up with a huge smile, and he tried to bite it back as he nodded, “Yeah, that’s, uh, yeah, that works.”

Mickey smirked at him and shook his head as he turned to continue toward the L.

It was something.

Ian could work with that.

Mickey walked into the apartment and straight to the fridge to grab a beer. Mandy was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner, and she looked at him expectantly after he opened his beer and came and sat down next to her.

“So…how was today?” Mandy asked.

Instead of answering her question, Mickey said, “No Lip tonight?”

“He went to his place to hang out with Ian. Speaking of…,” she looked pointedly at Mickey.

Mickey took a swig of his beer and didn’t answer, so she repeated herself, “I said, speaking of…”

Mickey looked at her and raised his eyebrows, “Speaking of what?”

Mandy rolled her eyes, “Speaking of Ian,” she said exasperated, “how was today?”

Mickey finally gave up trying to appear unbothered and sighed, “Awkward as fuck, Mands.”

Mandy looked at him sympathetically, “Did you talk to him?”

Mickey shrugged, “I mostly tried to avoid him. He, uh, he mighta tried to talk to me this morning, but I blew him off, told him I need some time before I’ll be ready to talk about things.”

“Mickey!!!"

“Fuck…what?”

“Well, why would you tell him that? You’re seriously telling me you had a chance to talk about things and try and fix them today, and you didn’t take it? What’s wrong with you?”

“You don’t even know what he was going to say, Mandy! He might’ve been planning to say some shit about hoping there were no hard feelings and wanting to know if we could still be friends!”

Mandy rolled her eyes as hard as she could, “Fuck…yes, I do, Mickey! I know exactly what he was going to say because he said part of it to me on Friday night!”

“Wait, WHAT?! When did you talk to him on Friday night??”

Mandy looked at him incredulously, “You seriously don’t remember the buzzer going off for, like, 3 straight minutes? You said you didn’t want to talk to him, and I said I’d go take care of it?”

Mickey huffed out a sigh, “I…well..maybe?”

Mandy nodded, “Well, that’s what happened. I went down, and I talked to him. He was really upset. He wanted to talk to you then, but I told him I didn’t think you were ready to hear anything he had to say. He wants to be with you, Mickey. I told him on Friday night that he needed to work on getting his shit together, and now, I’m gonna say the same thing to you. Get your shit together, and fucking talk to him, Mick. And listen…for the love of god, listen.”

There were a few moments of silence, and Mickey took another swig of his beer.

“I told him we’d talk at the end of the week,” he said quietly.

Mandy looked directly at him, “You what?”

“I said, I told him we’d talk at the end of the week.”

Mandy gave him a frustrated glare, “You couldn’t have included that in your account of how things went today?”

Mickey shrugged again, “Didn’t really give me a chance to, didja?”

Mandy looked at Mickey sheepishly, then asked, “So, what are you going to say?”

To say that Lip was surprised to see the energy Ian had when he came into the apartment was an understatement.

“Whoa!” Lip smiled hesitantly at Ian’s positive mood, “What’s, uh, what happened today?”

“Oh, it started off pretty awful. Mickey tried to avoid me all day. I tried talking to him this morning, and he said he wasn’t ready to talk about things. But then, then, at the end of the day, I caught up with him, and I told him I knew he didn’t want to talk about things, but that I had things I wanted to say. I apologized to him for Friday night and for not talking to him about things before then and just kinda blurting it out. And then he thanked me, and then,” Ian paused to take a breath, “he told me we’d talk about things at the end of the week. Do you know how great that is, Lip? God, I was expecting him to just blow it off or not talk to me at all, but he does want to talk to me. Oh god!” Ian looked at Lip almost in a panic, “I’ve gotta figure out what I’m gonna say on Friday. Do we have some paper and a pen? Maybe I should write it down.”

Ian started searching around the kitchen while Lip’s brain caught up to the run on sentence of words that had just come out of Ian’s mouth.

“Okay,” Lip said, “so…Ian, can you stop for a minute?”

Ian paused, but it was obvious the thrum of energy was resting just below the surface while he stood there.

Lip continued, “Okay, thank you. Now, you talked to Mickey and apologized for how it sounded like you just blurted things out, yeah? And the two of you are going to talk about things on Friday? Is that the gist of what you just said?”

Ian was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet as he nodded and smiled, “Yep, that’s it.”

Lip smiled, “Good, I’m really glad to hear that, E. How was therapy this morning?”

Ian finally paused to take a breath, then responded, “It was good, you know? We talked about how me speaking up for myself and communicating my needs is a good thing, and something I’ve kinda sucked at doing for a while, but that communication is about both talking and listening.”

Lip nodded, “Sounds like some good advice there.”

“Okay, back to the most important thing that happened today, can you help me brainstorm and come up with things I want to say to Mickey on Friday?”

“If you can stop bouncing while you’re standing in the kitchen, then yes, I will help you think about what you want to say to Mickey on Friday.”

Ian looked sheepishly at Lip, “Sorry, ‘s just…that’s good, right? His response sounds like a good thing?”

Lip half smiled at his brother, “Yeah, I mean, it sounds like he wants to talk things out, figure this shit out with you, you know? That’s what you wanted in the first place.”

Ian smiled to himself as he brought up the Notes app on his phone and started a new one, entitled Friday—Mickey.

Ian was filled with anticipation for the rest of the week. He was noticeably happier, albeit still distracted, while he was at the shelter. He kept thinking of things to add to his list for his talk with Mickey, so whenever one came to him, he’d type it out before he forgot it.

Mickey watched him pull his phone out and do that multiple times a day over the next few days. He briefly wondered if he was texting someone else and tried to keep any pending jealousy at bay, reminding himself that they were going to talk at the end of the week.

He still opted to have Geneva do the dishes with Ian for the rest of the week. He and Ian might be on better terms, but he was still a little gun shy around him after what had happened the previous Friday. Ian kept shooting him all these charming smiles, and Mickey could admit he wasn’t immune to them. He had to remind himself they weren’t back there yet, and if Ian needed to set some boundaries for whatever was happening between them, Mickey needed to work on not being so easily drawn in.

When Ian went to his therapy appointment that Friday morning, he went through the list of everything he’d come up with that he wanted to say in his conversation with Mickey that evening. Meg went through his side of the conversation with him and reminded him to listen to what Mickey had to say and to breathe in order to center his mind and his thoughts. When he left his appointment, he repeated that mantra to himself for the rest of the day.

Finally, evening rolled around, and Ian and Geneva were gathering their things from the office. Mickey walked into the office to grab his stuff. He turned to Ian as he motioned to the door, “C’mon, Gallagher, you and me got a talk we need to have,” he turned to walk to the door, then turned back to see Ian still standing in the same place, “Yo, we doing this or what?”

Ian smiled, nervous excitement written all over his face, and nodded, “Absolutely.”

Chapter Text

They walked out of the shelter together, and Mickey looked at Ian, “So… where d’ya wanna do this?”

Ian chuckled awkwardly, “I hadn’t exactly gotten that far.”

Mickey nodded, “What about a bar?”

Ian shrugged, “I kinda want both of us to be able to hear each other and to have this conversation sober.”

“Okay, what about, like, a diner or something?”

Ian looked hesitant, and Mickey sighed, “What is it, Gallagher?”

Ian shrugged, “I’m just…’m not really hungry. I mean, we just ate dinner, and I can’t handle any coffee right now. Feel like that would just make me wanna jump outta my fucking skin.”

“Okay…then where do you wanna go, man? The only other option I got is to find a bench on a sidewalk somewhere.”

Ian’s eyes lit up, “That…that’s actually a great idea, Mick. Let’s do that.”

Mickey shrugged, “Okay, fine, but let’s get outta the South Side first, yeah?”

They took the L to the West Side and found some public outdoor seating. They sat down and looked at each other awkwardly, neither one really sure how to start.

Just from looking at Ian, Mickey could tell he was trying to psych himself up to start talking, so before he could, Mickey sighed and said, “I guess I owe you an apology, too, or whatever.”

Ian looked at him confused, and Mickey said, “Talked to Mandy. Turns out I may have, uh, jumped to conclusions instead of hearing you out last Friday.”

Ian smiled gently at him but still didn’t say anything, so Mickey added on, “So, I, uh, ‘m sorry about that.”

That seemed to give Ian the push he needed to start talking, and he said, “Thanks, Mickey,” then he smiled self-deprecatingly and said, “Not that I blame you. I did a shitty job of saying what I was trying to say, so I completely understand why you responded the way you did.”

Mickey softened as he replied, “Doesn’t make it okay. I shoulda listened to you instead of assuming, so,” he gestured to the table, “here we are. ‘m all ears, Gallagher.”

Ian took a deep breath and retrieved his phone from his pocket. Mickey looked confused at that, and Ian held his phone up, “I’ve been putting things in my notes app this week so I didn’t forget anything I wanted to say for when I talked to you today.”

Mickey couldn’t help but smile the first genuine smile he’d had in at least a week and chuckle at himself for thinking Ian might be texting some other potential love interest when he was typing something on his phone the past few days.

Ian looked at him, hesitant to continue, “What is it?”

Mickey shook his head, “I just…every time I saw you take your phone outta your pocket when we were at the shelter, I thought you were texting someone, like maybe you had met someone else. God, ‘m fucking stupid...of course you were making notes for today.”

They both laughed at that, and it was effective at breaking the awkwardness between them. Finally, they both got their laughter under control, and Ian hesitantly reached over and placed his hand on top of Mickey’s. An electric current passed between them, and Ian looked at Mickey and smiled, “Definitely not anyone else. Only wanna try to work things out with you.”

Mickey swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t underneath Ian’s for him to continue.

Ian took his hand off of Mickey’s, and although Mickey felt relieved to not have to immediately address the feelings that had coursed through him when Ian had put his hand on top of his, part of him wanted Ian to keep it there.

“Okay,” Ian said as he touched some things on his phone screen, “the first thing is that when I said we needed to take a step back from things, I didn’t mean that we should break up or even that we should completely stop seeing each other. I just meant that…I mean…I went from living with an abuser straight to a new, pretty serious…relationship…where I was living with you. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it…I loved sleeping next to you and going home with you in the evenings, waking up with you the next morning. But I got a lot of shit, Mick…a lot I’ve never really dealt with from past relationships. I…I really want to be with you, but I want to bring the best possible version of myself to this…to us. And I think that means having some time to figure that out and work on it.”

Ian looked back down at his phone while Mickey pondered everything Ian had just told him. He wanted to ask questions, but he also wanted Ian to have a chance to say everything he wanted to say.

“Oh, okay, this next part. I really am sorry for how things came out last Friday, Mick. I had been in the new apartment for less than a week, and it’s the first time I’ve had my own space, you know? Before that, I lived at home in a room with at least one other brother, or I was living with boyfriends if we’d been together for a few months. I’ve never had a space of my own, and maybe I’ve been obsessing a little over how I want it to be, which is why I’ve been spending so much time on it. Anyway, along with that, my therapist had expressed some concern that I had gone from living with...him...straight to living with the new guy I was with. I had talked things over with Lip about taking a break and stepping back from things, but even when I was talking to him, finding the words to explain exactly what I needed and meant was really confusing. So, that led to me blurting out everything last Friday instead of sitting down and having a conversation about where my head was out and figuring things out with you.”

Ian looked down at his phone again and sighed, “Third, what you said about wanting to know why it wasn’t enough that you accept me just like I am. Mick…it’s been a really long time since the last time I felt like I really liked myself, much less loved myself. It’s part of what I’m working on in therapy, but all the shit someone else has said to me…when I’ve been low, when I’ve felt forgotten, when I’ve felt like what I wanted didn’t matter, when…the only thing I was good for was my dick…it’s become easier to believe the bad stuff, and I don’t wanna do that anymore. I want to see myself the way you see me.”

Mickey smiled softly at Ian, then quietly asked, “So what does that mean for now...for us?”

“Well,” Ian scrolled down his phone a little more, “here’s what I’ve realized this past week. All this stuff I’ve gotta work on for myself, I don’t have to do it by myself. I can be with you and work on it at the same time. So, here’s what I’m suggesting: we date.”

“Date?” Mickey repeated.

Ian nodded, “Yes. We have one date night a week, one date day a week, and we go out for lunch together one day a week at work.”

Mickey nodded slowly, taking in Ian’s suggestion, but he didn’t say anything in response just yet.

Ian shrugged, “I feel like there’s a lot we don’t know about each other, and I want to, Mickey,” he reached over and put his hand on top of Mickey’s again, “I want to know everything about you, and I…I want to be able to share things about me that you don’t know, too.”

The look in Ian’s eyes was so genuine, so full of…no, Mickey wouldn’t allow himself to think that word until Ian said it outright, but they were full of something akin to it, and Mickey had to pull back the overwhelming desire he had to throw himself at Ian and melt into him.

“So,” Ian said after a few moments of silence from Mickey, “what do you think?”

Mickey bit his lip and tried to process everything Ian had just said. He started nodding slowly, then gave Ian a small smile, “Yeah, I think, uh, I think we could do that.”

Ian’s face lit up with a smile as he breathed a sigh of relief, but almost as soon as he did, Mickey noticed tears in the corner of his eyes.

“Hey…hey…what’s this?” Mickey looked at Ian, concerned at the play of emotions across his face.

Ian looked down and shook his head, huffing out a wet laugh before he looked back up at Mickey, “After last Friday, I was so afraid I’d fucked it all up. Afraid you wouldn’t want to listen to me or work things out, so hearing that, you know, you do…stupid emotions, you know?”

Mickey scooted closer to Ian and brought his other hand up to cup Ian’s cheek, “’m in, Gallagher. Sorry for making you think otherwise.”

Ian smiled and tried to lean in and kiss him, but Mickey stopped him, “Whoa, Gallagher, what kinda guy do you take me for? Don’t you know you’re supposed to properly ask me on a date first?”

Ian grinned, and Mickey easily returned it, as Ian said, “So, what’re you doing tomorrow night?”

Mickey bit his lip and jokingly said, “Last minute date invite is bad form, Gallagher. But I could be convinced to meet up for coffee on Sunday.”

Ian smiled as he continued looking at Mickey, “Yes, please, let’s do that.”

Mickey patted his cheek, “That’s the only date idea I’m giving you. You gotta come up with your own plans from now on.”

Ian closed his eyes and nodded, leaning into the feel of Mickey’s hand. He opened them and looked directly into Mickey’s eyes, “Done. And in the spirit of planning ahead, you wanna go out a week from tomorrow? Next Saturday?”

Mickey bit his lip and smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I think I could fit that in.”

After sitting there staring at each other and smiling for a few more minutes, Mickey patted Ian’s cheek one final time, then said, “Let’s head to the L, man…’s been an exhausting week, and I need to get home before I fall asleep.”

Ian nodded, and the two of them headed for the nearest station. Once they got on the L, they found two empty seats next to each other and sat down. Ian tentatively leaned against Mickey, and Mickey returned the pressure. Ian’s hand shook as he reached for Mickey’s, not knowing how he would respond. As soon as Ian’s hand touched his, though, Mickey turned his hand up so Ian could lace their fingers together. Once he had done that, Mickey leaned over to lay his head on Ian’s shoulder. The relief in Ian’s body once he did that was evident, and Mickey smiled to himself as he closed his eyes and relaxed against him.

Too soon, they heard the announcement for Mickey’s stop. Mickey squeezed Ian’s hand and started to lift his head from his shoulder. Before he could, though, he felt Ian’s lips against the side of his forehead. Mickey smiled to himself and leaned into it. He squeezed Ian’s hand one more time before getting up to make his way to the doors of the L. He turned back as the train was coming to a stop and smiled at Ian, “See you Sunday, Gallagher.”

Ian smiled back, “It’s a date. I’ll text you with the details tomorrow.”

Mickey nodded and got off the train to head home.

Once the doors closed back, Ian sighed happily to himself. He had communicated what he wanted. He had asked for Mickey’s input. He had clearly explained where he was coming from and what he had been thinking. It was a rare feeling to feel this proud of himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Meg about it at his next appointment.

“So?” Mandy was on Mickey as soon as he stepped into the apartment.

“Jesus…wanna let me get into the apartment first?”

Mandy huffed out a sigh of frustration, “Fine,” she replied with a roll of her eyes, “get in here.”

Mickey went to the fridge to grab a beer and sat down on the couch. Mandy sat at the other end and watched him like a hawk as he took the first swig.

“Okay,” she said impatiently, “you’re in the apartment, you have a beer, and you’re sitting down. So…?”

Mickey took another swig, “We, uh, I guess we’re dating now.”

“You guess?” Mandy wrinkled her nose in confusion, “what does that mean?”

Mickey looked at her sheepishly, “‘m still trying to wrap my head around it, honestly. We talked, or well, he talked…apologized for last Friday night, then laid everything out the way he said he’d intended to say it last week. He, uh,” Mickey chuckled, “he actually took notes of everything he wanted to say to make sure he covered everything.”

“Mick…,” he looked over at Mandy and saw a shmoopy look on her face.

He rolled his eyes playfully in response, “Oh, what is that look?”

“Mick, he wrote it down because he wanted to make sure he was communicating with you. That’s, like, the most endearing thing ever.”

Mickey smiled to himself and replied, “Yeah, yeah, I guess it kind of is.”

“Did you apologize?”

“Yes…I apologized for jumping to conclusions and not listening last Friday and for contributing to making things worse.”

“Good,” Mandy smiled satisfactorily, “so tell me more about this whole dating thing.”

“So, what I suggested is that we have one date night a week, one date day a week, and that we get lunch together at work once a week,” Ian explained to Lip.

Lip nodded, “I think that sounds reasonable, you know, kind of like splitting the difference between calling things quits and living together.”

Ian laughed, “That’s quite the spectrum there.”

“So, what’d Mickey say?”

“He said it sounded good to him. He said he understands what I explained about the shit I’ve been through in the past and wanting to work through that. We have our first day date on Sunday. I think we’re gonna grab coffee together.”

Lip smiled at him, “I hope it goes well.”

Ian nodded and headed to his room to get ready for bed before Lip called out to him.

“Hey, Ian?”

Ian turned around, and Lip said, “I think you handled things really well, you know, with communication and shit. You should be proud of yourself.”

Ian sent him a small smile, “I am,” before he turned to continue to his room.

Once he had taken his meds and got ready for bed, he started mentally planning his date with Mickey for Sunday, and he decided to take a chance and shoot off a “good night” text before going to bed.

Hey, Mick, just wanted to say thank you again for being willing to listen and give this another chance. I’m really glad you did. See you Sunday 💛  

Ian waited a few minutes to see if he’d get a response. When he didn’t, he figured it was because Mickey was already asleep. He set his phone on his nightstand and started to settle in for sleep until he heard it buzz. He immediately reached for it and smiled at the text on the screen.

You better be worth it, Gallagher 😉 Seriously, you’re welcome. I’m glad I did, too. See you Sunday.  

And then a 2^nd text with a simple 🖤

Ian sighed happily, setting his phone back on the nightstand and closing his eyes as he drifted off to the most restful sleep he’d had for the past week.

Ian woke up on Sunday morning in a panic. He checked his watch and managed one sigh of relief when he saw that it was only 9:30. He wasn’t due to meet Mickey until 11:30, but panic and nerves set in as he jumped out of bed and threw open his bedroom door. Lip’s door was still closed, but Ian rationalized that this was important, so he walked across the apartment and knocked on Lip’s door, “Lip? You awake?”

“Fuck…I am now…the fuck’s going on, Ian?”

Ian opened Lip’s door and paused for a minute when he saw that Lip wasn’t alone in bed. Mandy cracked one eye open to glare at him before pulling the covers over her head to go back to sleep.

Ian sucked in a breath and lowered his voice, “Sorry…”

Lip waved him off and gestured to a spot on his bed to sit, “Okay, what’s going on, E?”

“I’m meeting Mickey for a coffee date in 2 hours…2 hours, Lip!!”

Lip rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned, “Yeah, and?”

“What the fuck do I talk to him about? What do people talk about on dates, or well, first dates?”

Lip shrugged, “I dunno. Favorite foods? Where they’re from? Where they grew up? Family?”

Ian held up his hand and ticked off his responses on each finger, “Steak, South Side, only member he claims is currently sleeping next to you.”

Lip stretched, trying to wake up, “Unghhhhhh…I don’t know then, Ian. Why don’t you google “first date topics for 2 former Chicago South Siders”?”

Ian looked at Lip incredulously, “That’s your advice?”

Lip shrugged, “Best I got when I’ve just woken up. Look, why don’t you go take a shower, get dressed, and think about what you don’t know about Mickey that you’d like to, yeah? Go from there.”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, I guess…okay…Thanks.”

He left out of Lip’s room, and Lip sank back down into the covers.

“It’s cute that he’s nervous,” Mandy murmured from beside him, “guarantee Mickey’s doing the same thing.”

“Hmmph,” Lip replied, “They’ll figure it out. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Two hours later, and Ian was even more nervous, if that was possible. He got to the coffee shop he’d texted Mickey to meet him at, and he saw Mickey standing outside looking at his phone.

He walked up and awkwardly breathed out, “Uh, hey, Mick…um, how’s it going?”

Mickey smiled awkwardly back at him, “It’s good, you know, um, wanna get some coffee?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, yeah, let’s get some coffee, sure.”

They went inside and ordered (Ian opted for decaf) coffee and some pastries.

They went to find a seat, and after they sat down at a table, there was another awkward silence.

“Thanks for, you know, meeting me here.”

“Okay, formal.”

Ian looked at him, pleading with his eyes for Mickey to make this less awkward.

Finally, Mickey sighed and said, “So… what d'ya wanna talk about?”

Ian shrugged, “I was hoping you’d have an idea?”

“Okay…how about…how’s therapy going?”

Ian made a face, “That’s what you wanna talk about on our date?”

“You got a better idea?”

“No, I just…fuck…I don’t know how to do this, Mick.”

“What? Drink coffee? Have a conversation?”

“I don’t know how to do this part...with you!”

Ian’s outburst had people at other tables looking at them.

“Okay, okay, let’s keep the volume down, Gallagher. What do you mean you don’t know how to do this? You’re the one who’s been in relationships before.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ian sighed, exasperated with himself, “but that was different.”

Mickey looked at him confused, “How was it different?”

Ian blushed and looked down, “I never wanted those to work as much as I want this one to.”

Mickey softened and placed his hand, palm up on the table. Ian glanced up and smiled softly, reaching across to put his hand in Mickey’s.

Mickey squeezed his hand, “Okay…so yeah, tell me about how therapy’s been going.”

Ian had no idea that a topic like therapy could spark a conversation that had lasted for almost 3 hours. They had talked about Meg, what Ian liked about her, and what he wished was different, which led to a conversation about the therapists he’d seen when he did his stint in the psych ward. His stories about group therapy had Mickey cracking up, and Mickey shared his own therapy experience with the psychologist he’d seen while he was in prison.

“She already knew you were gay? Oh my god, how’d you even respond to that?”

“Surprised as hell, man! Here I was, thinking I was doing such a good job at hiding it, you know? On account of how much I had to pretend to be straight when I was growing up because of fucking Terry. But nah, she didn’t even bat an eye when I decided to tell her, just fuckin’ ‘I already know that, but thanks for sharing it with me.’”

Ian laughed at Mickey’s account of when he came out to his psychologist in prison. When his laughter died down, Mickey asked, “What about you? Who was the first person you came out to?”

Ian thought for a second, “Actually said the words to? Or who found out first?”

Mickey grinned, “Well, the second one sounds interesting. Who found out first?”

Ian grimaced a little at the memory, “That would be Lip. He, uh, well…I used to keep my actual porn in a folder that had pictures of naked chicks on it, trying to keep what was actually in the folder a secret. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it until Lip told me one night about this girl who’d blown him at her dining room table that afternoon. Then he asked me if I’d ever gotten a hummer and who it was from. When I wouldn’t tell him who, he pulled out the folder from under his bed and asked if it’d been from a guy.”

Mickey nodded, “Who’d you actually come out to?”

“Fiona was the first one I said the words to. She said she already knew, too.”

“How’d she respond?”

“Well, Lip and I had just gotten home from spending the night in jail, so she was still pretty pissed at us for that. I dunno…no one really made a big deal out of it. Everyone just sort of accepted it. I think Lip was the only one who was kind of a dick about it. Tried to tell me that the ass was supposed to be ‘exit only’.”

“What? What a fucking moron,” Mickey laughed.

Ian nodded, “Yeah, so…it wasn’t a secret how Terry felt about gay people, but did he ever know about you? I know you said you had to pretend to be straight when you were growing up.”

Mickey gulped and looked down. He should’ve known this would eventually come up, but a first date…whatever…wasn’t really when he wanted to talk about it.

He took a deep breath and looked at Ian, “That’s a story for a later time, but let’s just say…yeah, Terry knew.”

Ian looked at him sympathetically, knowing the story must be bad for Mickey to avoid it altogether.

Mickey cleared his throat and said, “Mandy’s the first one I actually came out to, though. She, uh, when I told her, she hugged me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe, thanked me for telling her, cried, then told me she better not ever hear or see me getting fucked because no amount of therapy would undo that.”

Ian smiled at that, “I guess there are worse reactions to get from people.”

Mickey nodded as he tried to keep his memories at bay, “Yeah, definitely. So, wait, you mentioned you and Lip spent the night in jail? What for?”

Ian told the story of Jimmy/Steve and the stolen cars, which led them down a whole other conversation path of the times they’d been arrested or almost arrested and what the outcome had been.

Finally, they had to leave the coffee shop as one of the employees started turning the chairs over and putting them on the tables.

“Holy shit,” Ian said, “what time is it?”

Mickey looked at his phone, “It’s almost 5:00, Gallagher. I can’t believe we sat here talking for over 5 hours. Jesus…I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone for this long.”

Ian smiled at him and grabbed their dishes, bringing them over to the counter. He walked back over and offered his hand to Mickey. Mickey took it as he stood up, and Ian said, “I think that’s a good thing, Mickey.”

“What, that I’ve never talked for over 5 hours?”

“No, that you did that with me.”

Mickey smiled as Ian laced their fingers together as they walked out of the coffee shop.

They got outside, neither one knowing how to wind their date down. Ian gestured to the nearest train station, “Take the L?”

Mickey started to nod, then stopped and said, “Actually, let’s walk.”

It was maybe half a mile back to Mickey’s apartment, but it was obvious that neither one of them was ready for their date to be over yet. They didn’t say much on the walk back, mainly just holding hands and blushing as they smiled at each other.

Finally, they reached the front of Mickey’s apartment and stood there in silence for a few moments until Mickey blurted out, “’m gonna,” he gestured to the door to the building.

Ian nodded but didn’t let go of his hand. Instead, he stepped closer, looking for any signs that Mickey wanted to kiss him as badly as Ian wanted to kiss Mickey. Mickey’s breathing became ragged as Ian stood in front of him, forehead to forehead. Just as Ian was about to lean in, Mickey whispered, “What kinda date do you take me for, Gallagher? Maybe I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Ian smiled at him, “Maybe you could make an exception just this once?”

Mickey leaned back slightly and smiled, “Yeah, I don’t think so,” he leaned back in and whispered against Ian, “you gotta earn it, Gallagher.”

Ian whimpered, and Mickey knew if he didn’t get out of there, he was going to end up fucking Ian against the side of his apartment building. He leaned back out of Ian’s space and brought their still linked hands up to his lips, kissing Ian’s hand.

“Later, Gallagher,” Mickey detached his hand from Ian’s and started to step back from him, but Ian grabbed his hand before he could.

Mickey looked up and met his eyes, and he could feel his resolve start to waver. Luckily, Ian didn’t push his “no kissing on the first date” boundary. Instead, he brought his hand up to cup Mickey’s cheek. Mickey swallowed and closed his eyes as Ian leaned in and brought his lips to Mickey’s other cheek in the softest of kisses.

Mickey opened his eyes when he felt Ian lean back out of his space, and he only had a vague idea of how dazed he looked when his eyes met Ian’s.

Ian smiled gently at him and nodded, “Later, Mick. ‘ll see you tomorrow.”

Mickey could only nod as he turned on shaky legs and made his way to the door. He’d had no idea that such a seemingly innocent touch could affect him like that one had. He may not be ready to push things physically with Ian just yet, but he could definitely foresee some alone time in his room as soon as he got upstairs. He just prayed that Mandy was at Lip’s so he could fantasize uninterrupted.

Chapter Text

There was a noticeable change in the air over the following week. Ian and Mickey were constantly secretly smiling at each other…at least, they were trying to keep them secret. The faux gagging noises Ash and Geneva made before the kids got to the shelter one day let them know that they’d been found out.

Even that same afternoon after small group, D’mitri had smirked at him and said, “‘m really glad you and Ian worked your shit out.”

Mickey had looked at him in surprise, but the knowing smirk didn’t leave D’mitri’s face, “Don’t even try to deny it. You guys are so obvious.”

Mickey’s response had been to smirk back and say, “Whatever, go do your homework.”

Every evening that week ended the same way. Ian took Mickey’s hand as they exited the shelter, they waved bye to Ash and Geneva, then they held hands as they walked to the L, as they sat together on the L, and when they got to Mickey’s stop, Ian placed a single kiss on the back of Mickey’s hand.

Their week was a busy one, but they managed to find a day where they could get lunch together, and they discovered a food truck park right around the corner from the shelter. They decided to make that their regular lunch destination as there were at least 5 different food trucks that came to that location every week. Their lunch day for this week was on a Thursday, and as they ate, Mickey tried to get Ian to give him a hint about their date location for that coming Saturday.

“C’mon, Gallagher,” Mickey laughed, “a guy needs to know what to wear. How’m I gonna know if I should bring a jacket or wear shorts?”

Ian burst out laughing, “I never took you for someone who’s worried about his clothes, Mick. You a closet fashionista?”

“Fuck you, Gallagher,” Mickey said jokingly, “why won’t you just tell me where we’re going?”

Ian shrugged, “It’s a surprise,” at Mickey’s wary look, he said, “I promise it’ll be fun. What’s wrong with fun?”

Mickey sighed and rolled his eyes, “Jesus…okay, fine, keep your secrets, see if I care.”

Ian finished his lunch and leaned into Mickey’s space as he stood up, “I will,” he whispered as he straightened up.

Mickey knew Ian knew exactly what kind of effect he had on him, especially as Mickey closed his eyes and whined, “Guh…you play dirty, Gallagher…’s not fucking fair.”

“C’mon and stop your bitching, Mick,” Ian held his hand out for Mickey to take.

Mickey pouted but took his hand and stood up so they could walk back to the shelter. He was quiet as they walked back, and right before they went back in, Ian turned to him, “Do you trust me?”

Mickey looked at him warily, “Why?”

“Because, I promise you I have a plan for Saturday, you’re going to like it, you’re going to have a good time. So, just…trust me…okay?”

Mickey sighed, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Mickey gave in, “Okay,” he said with a smile, “I trust you, Gallagher.”

Ian beamed at him and lifted his hand to kiss it, “Good.”

On Friday evening, as they boarded the L and sat down, Mickey turned to Ian, “So, what time should I be ready tomorrow?”

Ian paused to think about it, “5:30.”

Mickey looked confused, “Isn’t that kinda…I dunno…early for date night?”

Ian raised one eyebrow, “What’d I tell you about trusting me?”

“Okay, okay, 5:30 it is, I guess. You picking me up?”

Ian smiled lovingly at Mickey, “What kind of date would I be if I didn’t?”

Mickey would never admit this out loud, but he felt his heart flutter at how seriously Ian seemed to be taking this whole dating thing. It was obvious they both wanted more physically, but Ian never pushed, and since Mickey understood how important it was for them to take things semi-slowly, he didn’t either.

Still, his eyes couldn’t help but flicker between the look in Ian’s eyes and how soft his lips loo-

Ding

The sound startled both of them as the announcement was made for Mickey’s stop. They went through the same nightly ritual they’d been doing all week with Ian kissing Mickey’s hand before bidding him good night. This night was a little different as Ian leaned over to brush a kiss on Mickey’s cheek as well and said huskily, “See you tomorrow, Mick.”

Mickey felt his knees go weak as he got up from his seat, but he managed a nod and stuttered out, “Y-yeah, tomorrow…uh, I’ll see you then. Um, have a good night, Gallagher.”

Ian beamed at him, “Yeah, you too, Mick.”

Mickey got off at his stop and walked leisurely to his apartment. As much as he was trying to stick to both of their physical boundaries, he had a feeling that their actual date night would put that to the test. He also had a feeling they’d be ending the following night with a real good night kiss, at the very least.

The following evening rolled around, and Ian pressed the buzzer for Mickey’s apartment at 5:30 on the dot. He expected for Mickey to come down to meet him, so he was surprised when the buzzer sounded to let him into the building.

He went upstairs to Mickey’s apartment and knocked on the door. When it opened, it wasn’t Mickey standing there at all. Instead, it was Mandy, and she invited him in. No sooner had he entered the living room than Mandy said, “So, what are your intentions with my brother?”

“Excuse me?” Ian said with a laugh.

Mandy looked him over, “You heard me. What are your intentions with my brother?”

“Are you serious?”

“Extremely.”

The look on her face let Ian know she was, so he took a deep breath, “My intentions are to take care of your brother, to be equal partners in a relationship with him, and to love him the way he loves me.”

Mandy couldn’t contain her squeal of excitement when Ian said that, and Ian was surprised to see a tear come to her eye.

“Mandy…??”

She waved him off as she reached for a tissue, “That was just…that was beautiful, Ian Gallagher. You have my full blessing to proceed with your relationship.”

Mickey walked into the living room, “Mandy, have you seen my…oh, hey, what’re you doing up here? I was just looking for my shoes, then I was gonna come downstairs and meet you.”

Ian nodded to Mandy, “She invited me up.”

Mickey looked at Mandy cautiously, “What did you say?”

She gave him as innocent a look as she could muster and said, “Nothing?”

Mickey sighed, “Mandy…”

She huffed out a sigh, “Fine, I just asked him what his intentions were.”

“You what?” Mickey looked shocked and completely embarrassed.

Mandy rolled her eyes and shrugged, “Just wanted to make sure he’s gonna treat you right, Mick.”

Mickey buried his head in his hands, “Jesus Christ,” then he looked at Ian, “I am so sorry. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with her.”

“Mickey!!”

Ian chuckled at the entire situation, “Don’t worry about it, Mick, it’s fine. It’s actually pretty sweet, you know? She cares about you and wants you to be happy…wants to make sure I want that, too.”

Mickey blushed and ducked his head for a moment before he cleared his throat, “Okay, well, there’re my shoes…let’s get this date started, Gallagher.”

They turned to leave the apartment, and Mandy couldn’t help but obnoxiously call out, “Have him home by 11!”

Mickey was the only one who turned back, and he gave her a dirty look and flipped her off as Ian laughed.

They got downstairs, and Mickey asked, “Okay, so where to? Can you tell me where we’re going now?”

Ian shrugged, “Navy Pier.”

Mickey looked confused, “Really?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, they have an adult arcade where you can pay $20 and play as many games as you want while you drink. They also have mini golf and batting cages. Then I thought we could grab some dinner and maybe go on the Centennial Wheel.”

He was met with silence, so he turned to look nervously at Mickey, who was staring at him speechless.

Ian started to worry that he’d said something wrong, and he started to mentally prepare alternative plans until Mickey’s face bloomed into a smile as he shook his head. He brought his hand up to pat Ian on the cheek, “‘s perfect, Gallagher. Let’s go.”

Mickey laughed as the bat he swung connected with the ball that came toward him, “Holy fuck, I can’t believe I can still do that! Haven’t even tried since I was about 7.”

Ian looked surprised, “You played baseball?”

Mickey nodded, “Little league. Got through one season, then right at the beginning of the next, I hit a single. Made it to the base in plenty of time, but the ump called it out. I was so pissed off that I pissed on first base right there. Coach threw me off the team as soon as I was done.”

Recognition lit up in Ian’s eyes, “Holy shit, that was you?”

Mickey looked at him, “Yeah…why? You hear about that?”

“Mick,” Ian laughed, “I was playing second for the other team.”

“Shit,” Mickey chuckled, “so close, and we didn’t even realize it.”

Ian’s laugh turned to a fond smile, and he stepped closer to Mickey, “Better late than never,” he gazed into Mickey’s eyes.

The moment was a little too sentimental for Mickey, so he reached up and patted Ian’s cheek as he smiled, “Such a fucking sap.”

Ian’s smile grew even bigger, and Mickey could see that he wanted to lean into it, step into his space. He seemed to read the room, though, and he pulled back instead.

“C’mon,” Ian gestured to the gate, “I wanna go get tickets for the Centennial Wheel before the line gets too long.”

Mickey turned the bat back in, and they walked over to the booth to buy tickets. Mickey looked over at the wheel and continued looking up and up and up until his eyes reached the top. He gulped and looked over at Ian, “Hey, you, uh, you sure this thing’s safe?”

Ian looked over at him and saw the fear in his eyes, “Positive,” Ian put as much assurance into that word as he could. “Plus,” he smirked, “if you get scared, you can always hold on to me.”

Mickey blushed and chuckled, “Any excuse to get me to touch you, eh?”

Ian shrugged, “Well…yeah?”

The two men smiled at each other as Ian stepped up for his turn to buy tickets.

“Fuck, can’t believe we have to wait for an entire hour to ride this fancy Ferris wheel. Seems like a waste of money.”

Ian looked at his watch, “That should actually be perfect timing.”

Mickey looked at him warily, “Perfect timing for what?”

Ian gave him a secretive half-smile, “You’ll see.”

Finally, it was their time to go hand their tickets to one of the guys running the wheel. Another guy was standing at the entrance of one of the gondolas, and Ian stepped in first, offering his hand to Mickey.

Not wanting to look like a pussy, Mickey waved his hand away and walked in. He sat down, and the worker secured the door. As they started to move, Mickey clung to the seat where he was sitting.

“Holy fuck…you’d think they’d give you a warning before starting that shit.”

Ian couldn’t help but chuckle just a little, and he reached out his hand to Mickey, “Wanna come sit closer to me?”

Mickey looked terrified, “I want to, it’s just…I don’t think I can move here.”

Ian slid over a little closer and reached out again, “Give me one hand, Mickey.”

Mickey took a deep breath and let go of his grip of one hand on the seat and took Ian’s. Ian gently pulled him to scoot over until he was sitting against him. Ian put his arm around Mickey’s shoulders, tucking him tightly into his side.

“There,” Ian adjusted his arm to make both of them more comfortable, “Is that better?”

Mickey was finally able to focus on his proximity to Ian instead of just his fear of being high in the air. He turned his head up just slightly and met Ian’s eyes as he blushed, “I can think of worse places to be.”

Ian smiled gently at him before looking out over Lake Michigan. Just as Ian had hoped, the colors of the impending sunset were reflected in the sky and in the lake.

He looked at Mickey, then gestured with his chin, “Look, Mick.”

Mickey looked up to see what Ian was pointing out, and he couldn’t help but gasp at how beautiful it looked.

“Wow…,” he sat there for a few moments and just breathed as he took it in.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Ian asked quietly, almost as if he was afraid to break the silence.

Mickey nodded, then turned to look at Ian. He was surprised to find that Ian was watching him instead of the sunset. He blushed and cleared his throat, but he couldn’t look away from Ian’s gaze.

“You’re, uh, you’re missing your sunset, man.”

Ian shook his head, “Can’t hold a candle to the view of watching you watch it.”

Mickey’s blush deepened, and his smile grew wider. Once again, his gaze flickered between Ian’s eyes and his lips as they moved imperceptibly closer. All it would take was one slight movement from either one of them for their lips to meet.

Ian’s breath was growing ragged, and he whispered, “As cliché as this might sound, can I kiss you, Mickey?”

Mickey huffed out a laugh, unable to stop himself from at least trying to break the schmoopiness of the moment, “We in a fucking rom-com now? Asking if you can kiss me on the fucking Ferris wheel while we watch the sunset?”

Ian just grinned, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Mickey’s breath caught in his throat, and he whispered, “Yeah, Gallagher, c’mere.”

Not wanting to rush things, Ian tipped his head down, nuzzling his nose against Mickey’s cheek before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. For a moment, he pulled back, and they just breathed against each other.

Their breaths were both ragged as Ian reached up to cup Mickey’s cheek with his other hand, and he leaned back down to kiss him again.

Ian locked his lips with Mickey’s, and Mickey involuntarily sighed in the back of his throat. Ian pulled back before the kiss could get more intense, and he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Mickey’s as he tried to catch his breath. Mickey did the same thing, and when they both finally opened their eyes, they were both wearing dazed expressions.

Ian stared at Mickey’s lips again, “Fuck, I missed that.”

“Yeah,” Mickey whispered back, “Me, too.”

They both started to lean back in, and as they did, they heard the door to their gondola open followed by, “Alright, gentlemen, your ride has come to an end. Please exit to your left.”

They both jumped a little, then turned to smile softly at one another before getting out of the gondola. This time, it was Mickey who reached his hand back to hold on to Ian’s as they exited the platform.

They walked over to the railing and stood there together for a few minutes, watching the colors of the sunset fade as night set in. Ian looked over at Mickey, and Mickey was biting his lip and stealing glances at Ian.

Finally, he cleared his throat, “What, uh, what now?”

Ian chuckled and leaned in and pecked him on the lips, “Now, I kick your ass at video games, Milkovich.”

Mickey chuckled in return, “I’d love to see you try, Gallagher.”

“No…No, NO, NO…Dammit!!! Give me a fighting chance here, Mick!”

“No can do, Gallagher. Playing to win, which means,” Mickey paused to shoot a few more of Ian’s guys, “shoot to kill.”

The game ended, and the results popped up, showing Mickey as the clear winner. He looked smugly at Ian, who rolled his eyes playfully, “Yeah, yeah, you’re awesome, I suck. Message received.”

“You know,” Mickey pulled Ian away from the game and over to an empty wall nearby, “we never talked about stakes here.”

“What stakes are you talking about, Mickey?”

“What I get if I win,” Mickey murmured, pressing Ian against the wall.

“What, uh, what do you want?” Ian asked in a husky voice.

“Kiss me…,” Mickey whispered.

Ian gazed into his eyes as he nodded, “Fuck…yeah…”

He leaned down to kiss Mickey, but Mickey met him halfway. The pressure of his lips against Ian’s knocked Ian back into the wall. He tried to keep the kiss PG, but Mickey obviously had other plans as he pressed his body against Ian’s. Mickey flicked his tongue against Ian’s lips, and Ian enthusiastically opened his mouth to welcome Mickey’s tongue. At the first touch of Mickey’s tongue against his, Ian moaned into the kiss, which triggered a responding moan from Mickey.

Ian reached for the waistband of Mickey’s jeans, bringing their lower bodies together. At the feel of Mickey’s growing erection against his own, Ian pulled back panting. He stared down at Mickey’s plump lips, swollen from the pressure of their kiss, and he whimpered.

Mickey’s pupils were dilated as he looked up at Ian, and he bit his lip as Ian subconsciously continued brushing his body against Mickey’s.

“Why’d you stop?” Mickey asked, panting a little.

“Trying to keep your virtue intact,” Ian smirked at him.

Mickey bit his lip as he grinned, “Little too late for that.”

He started to lean back in, but Ian moved his hands from Mickey’s waist up to cup his face. He ran his thumbs across Mickey’s cheeks, and he whispered against Mickey’s lips, “Seriously, Mick, if you continue kissing me like that, I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do,” he leaned down to kiss him sweetly, “And you deserve better than being fucked in some secluded spot at the Navy Pier.”

Mickey practically melted, and Ian continued, “Besides, I’ve gotta admit…I’m kinda into this whole dating and building up the anticipation thing with you. Makes me feel like I’m putting in the effort to work at feeling like I deserve you, you know?”

Mickey blushed and smiled, and Ian smirked, “Also, haven’t you ever heard that you’re not supposed to put out on the first date?”

Mickey laughed, and Ian chuckled along with him before checking his watch, “Let’s go grab a bite to eat before the restaurants start closing. I’m starving.”

He leaned down and kissed Mickey once more, then grabbed his hand so they could go find someplace to eat.

Later on, Mickey laid his head on Ian’s shoulder as they held hands and rode the L back from Navy Pier. The announcement was made for Mickey’s stop, but instead of saying good-bye on the train, Mickey murmured, “Walk me home?”

He felt Ian nod against his head, and when the train stopped, they both got off and held hands as they walked to Mickey’s apartment. When they arrived, they stood on the sidewalk facing each other with their hands laced together.

“I had a really nice time tonight. Seriously, it was perfect.”

Ian beamed at him as he stepped into his space, “I’m glad you had a good time. Wanna do lunch tomorrow?”

Mickey bit his lip and said, coyly, “What’d I tell you about last-minute date invites, Gallagher?”

Ian shrugged, “Was too focused on planning the one tonight. Why don’t you come to lunch with me tomorrow, and I’ll figure out a way to make it up to you?”

Mickey stepped even closer as he stared at Ian’s lips and whispered, “What’d you have in mind?”

Instead of giving him what he obviously wanted, Ian moistened his lips. Mickey closed his eyes, preparing to be kissed, but he was surprised when he felt a kiss on his forehead. From there, though, Ian moved to his left cheek, then his right cheek, and just when the anticipation made him feel like he was about to snap, Ian finally connected their lips together.

Mickey felt an explosion of desire spread through his body. He’d had no idea that these seemingly innocent and gentle touches could create such a spark inside him. He felt himself drowning in Ian’s kiss and body against his, and he unlaced their hands to reach for Ian’s belt loops, pulling him infinitesimally closer. Just like when they were at the arcade, their erections pressed against each other threatened to spiral their lust out of control.

But here, they didn’t have the boundary of being surrounded by other people. There was a dark side of Mickey’s apartment building they could go to. Or hell, Mickey’s bedroom was right upstairs. It would be so easy to just…

“Jesus Christ, Mickey, you have a fucking bedroom right upstairs. There’s literally no reason to try and mount Ian out here on the sidewalk.”

The sound of Mandy’s voice was like cold water being thrown on both of them. They broke apart, panting from the effects of their embrace and turned to look at her. Even though their eyes were both glazed over with lust, Mickey still managed to shoot her a dirty glare.

Mandy smiled gleefully, “I was just coming out here to hand something off to Lip, but I can always go to their apartment if the two of you need some privacy.”

Ian turned to look at Mickey. It was obvious what they both wanted, but Ian meant what he’d said earlier. They knew they could do this part well, and he was worried that if they moved too fast, everything else they were working at building would get swept away in their desire for each other.

Before Mickey could say anything, Ian slightly shook his head, “Nah, Mands, not tonight. Still got some courting left to do.”

Mickey snorted and started to break away from Ian to say a final good night. Before he could, though, Ian pulled him back in and kissed him sweetly before releasing him, “See you tomorrow for lunch?”

Mickey grinned and squeezed Ian’s hand as he turned to go, “Wouldn’t miss it.”

They had been dating a couple of weeks, and everything was going wonderfully. They were talking and learning more about each other. They were laughing together. They were communicating with each other. Sometimes, on the days when Ian had therapy, he was more withdrawn and obviously lost in his thoughts when he got to the shelter. More often than not, though, he usually shared what had happened in the session that day with Mickey and how he was processing it. Even when it was a rough session, Mickey was thrilled to have a better understanding of how Ian’s mind worked and the things he thought about and his feelings about the things he and Meg talked about.

Everything was going really well, so when Mickey got a text on a random Thursday night from Ian that read:

Hey, just wanted to let you know I won’t be at the shelter tomorrow. Got some things I’ve gotta take care of.

With no further explanation, he was a little concerned. So, he texted back:

Hey, thanks for letting me know. Everything okay? Anything you need help with?

Nah, but thanks for asking. I probably won’t be available by phone, either, just in case you text or call, and I don’t respond or answer.

You got some kinda secret ops or something?

Nothing that exciting. Just stuff. We still on for Saturday?

Of course.

Mickey paused for a moment, then sent off one more text:

If you need my help with anything tomorrow, just let me know, okay?

Thanks, Mick, I appreciate that.

Their whole exchange left Mickey feeling confused. It wasn’t like Ian to take off work unless it was for something serious. But he’d sounded okay in his texts, just like he was going to be doing something and didn’t want to be bothered.

He walked out to the living room to sit with Mandy for a bit. The confusion must’ve shown on his face because Mandy asked, “Everything okay, Mick? You look like you’re trying to figure out the secrets of the universe or something?”

“No,” he paused, “no, everything’s fine…I think. Ian just texted and said he wouldn’t be at work tomorrow but didn’t give me a reason why. Not that he has to let me know everything he does when we’re not together. Just kinda not like him.”

Realization washed over Mandy’s face, and Mickey said, “What, Mands? Do you know something?”

Mandy sighed sadly, “I’m pretty sure I know why Ian’s taking off work tomorrow.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Tomorrow is the anniversary of their mom’s death. She and Ian were really close. She had bipolar disorder, too.”

“Oh,” Mickey thought for a second, “why wouldn’t he just tell me that?”

Mandy hesitated, and Mickey said, “Spit it out, Mands. What are you not telling me?”

Mandy sighed again, “You really need to talk to Ian about this, Mick. It’s his story to te-…”

“Just tell me, Mandy!”

“She killed herself, Mickey. Ian was the one who found her a few minutes before she died. For any other info, ask him. But I’d bet that’s why he’s taking tomorrow off from work.”

Mickey didn’t have a response, and he quietly sat back against the couch as he processed the information Mandy had just shared with him.

After a few minutes, Mandy spoke up again, “I’m not going to tell you the rest of what happened that day because it should really come from Ian. But I will say you might want to drop in and check on your boyfriend tomorrow, Mick. It was a really dark day for all of them, but especially for him.”

Mickey nodded absently, and Mandy reached over to touch his shoulder. He looked up, and she smiled sadly at him and said, “Just don’t expect too much from him tomorrow, okay? He really just needs to know you’re there and that you love him. That’ll be enough.”

Chapter Text

The next morning, even though Ian had said he wouldn’t be available to text or answer phone calls, Mickey still sent off a “good morning” text.

Hey, man, just wanted to say I’ll miss seeing you today. Hope everything goes well with your stuff.

He didn’t get a response, and even though he had hoped he might, he wasn’t expecting it, so he headed on into work, making a mental note to try again later.

Meanwhile…

A knock on his bedroom door only made Ian pull the covers up over his head even more, but when a 2^ndknock came, he knew his brother wasn’t going to leave unless he answered him.

“What??” came out as a loud but muffled groan, but it was enough for Lip to open his door.

“Hey, man, just wanted to check on you before I head out to Born Free for a few hours. Can I get you anything?”

“No,” still muffled underneath the covers.

Ian heard footsteps coming closer to his bed, then he felt the bed dip as Lip sat down on the mattress next to him.

Lip sighed, then said, “I know today’s a hard day for you, Ian. It doesn’t have to be, though. We can talk about a way to, you know, honor Monica’s memory or whatever, moving forward instead of…this…”

The only response he got was the sound of quiet sniffling. He put his hand on what he thought was Ian’s shoulder and said, “Okay, we won’t talk about it now, okay? Maybe it’s something we can talk about another time.”

He patted his shoulder, then said, “I’ll be back in a few hours. Text or call me if you need me before then.”

He paused at Ian’s door before turning back, “You survived, E. You didn’t die with her,” then more quietly as he walked out of his room, “I really wish you could see that.”

Ian must’ve fallen asleep because he could tell there was more light filtering in from outside than there had been when he’d woken up earlier. His stomach growled, and he knew he needed to get out of bed and take his meds. He knew he needed to eat in order to do that. He knew he was getting dehydrated. But the idea of doing any of that felt like too much. Today was the day he dreaded every year. Not only was it the anniversary of Monica’s death, but it was also the anniversary of when Ian tried to kill himself and the anniversary of the last relapse Lip had.

He knew Lip had a point. That day had without a doubt been the darkest day he’d ever had, but he had come through it. He had gotten help and had come out of it stronger than ever. He couldn’t help the memories that assaulted him when this day rolled around every year, though. Even six years later, he could remember finding Monica on the floor of the bedroom she shared with Frank whenever she came around and a few empty pill bottles on the floor next to her.

He had rushed in and checked her pulse, trying to get her to respond. When he first got to her, he could still detect a pulse. Her eyelids fluttered, and she opened her eyes. When she saw him, a few tears came out of the corners of her eyes, and he could still remember her final words to him:

“I’m so sorry, Ian. It’s just too much, baby…too much…it drags me under with it, and ‘m so, so tired.”

“Mom, please…please don’t do this!”

“I want you to listen to me, Ian. Listen closely because this is the most important thing I’m ever gonna say to you. The most important thing in life is to find someone you love who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you.”

“Please don’t leave me! You’re the only one who understands, Mom…fuck…please??”

“You’re so beautiful. I did such a fucking good job making you. Best thing I ever did. Remember that I love you, baby…always…”

Those were her last words before her eyes went blank. This time, there was no pulse for Ian to find, and he had absolutely broken down in sobs and screams against Monica’s lifeless body. He barely had any memory of what happened next, but he had apparently found bottles of pills that she hadn’t taken and taken as many as he could before he started to feel the world floating around him.

That’s how Lip had found him, curled against Monica’s body, eyes hazy and brain too fuzzy to respond. Ian wouldn’t find out all the details until later, but Lip had yelled for him to wake up, to open his eyes and look at him. When Ian didn’t respond, Lip had frantically called 911 to report both a death and an overdose. The ambulance arrived and transported Ian to Cook County Psych Ward and Monica to the morgue. Lip had gone to Cook County and waited in the waiting room for hours until a doctor could tell him that they had pumped Ian’s stomach, and that he was going to survive.

It had been a strange feeling Lip had experienced, relief over his brother and best friend surviving, and grief, even after everything she had done, over Monica’s death. He had left the hospital and gone straight to the closest bar, ordering shot after shot until he successfully achieved the numb feeling he was looking for.

It had been the darkest day the Gallaghers ever experienced, and it still stung 6 years later. But it hadn’t hit anyone the way it hit Ian. In his mind, that was the day the one person in his life who could truly understand the struggles he had with his mind and his feelings chose to leave him.

After he overdosed, Ian spent 6 months in Cook County for them to tweak his medication and adjust the dosage for the heightened suicidal ideation he was experiencing that accompanied his onslaught of grief. He’d gone to group therapy and had an individual therapist during his time there. At the end of 6 months, he had come out far better and more well-adjusted than he’d been when he was admitted.

When he saw Lip, after he was discharged, he collapsed in tears against him, apologizing over and over again for what he’d done. Lip had just held him and kissed the side of his head, assuring him that no one was mad at him. They were all just thankful that he had survived the overdose and gotten the help he needed.

The day after Monica’s death, Lip had checked himself into a 30-day rehab, knowing that the temptation of drowning his emotional turmoil was too great for him to face by himself. When he got out, he’d gone back to attending AA meetings daily and hadn’t had a drink since.

Most of the time, Ian felt like he did really well with managing his grief, but this day was the one dark day a year he allowed himself to have when he buried himself underneath his covers and blocked out the outside world.

Around noon, he did manage to stumble to the bathroom to piss and take his meds, then went to the kitchen and choked down two pieces of bread before going back to his room.

About 5:00 that evening, Mickey went and tentatively knocked on Mary’s door.

“Come in!”

Mickey pushed open her door and tried to find the words to ask what he wanted to ask.

“Milkovich! What can I do you for?”

“Well…I was wondering…Could I leave early this evening?”

Mary looked away from her computer screen and regarded him appraisingly, “What’s the reason?”

Mickey shrugged and blushed, “Kinda wanted to go check on Ian.”

Mary smirked, but it was almost kind, as she said, “Yeah, I know today’s a hard day for him. Probably a good idea. When were you thinking about leaving for the evening?”

“Well, um, maybe, like now?”

Mary’s smirk turned into a smile, but her tone was stern, “Check with Müller and Ash first, make sure they have everything taken care of for dinner and clean-up. If they do, then you’re free to go.”

Mickey sighed with relief, “Thanks, Mary.”

She nodded curtly, then turned back to her computer. Mickey took that as his cue to go, but as he reached her door, she said, “Tell Gallagher we’re thinking about him, yeah?”

Mickey gave her a half-smile, “Yeah, I’ll tell him.”

Ian heard a knock coming from the front door. He wasn’t sure if Lip was still home or if he had gone to Mandy’s, and he was in no mood to answer the door. The knock came again, but this time, he heard footsteps padding across the living room floor. He heard the door open and a murmured conversation between 2 people, then silence.

He heard a quiet knock at his bedroom door, and he sighed, “Lip, I told you I’m fine. I don’t need anything, and I just wanna be left alone.”

He heard his bedroom door open, and he pulled the covers away from his face as he started to lean up, “Lip, I said…”

But his words died on his tongue when he saw Mickey quietly entering his room. He was struck speechless and gasped a little in shock as Mickey walked closer to his bed.

Mickey shrugged and said, “Sorry, ‘m late…woulda been here sooner, but…”

He looked at Ian for some kind of response, and he noticed moisture in the corner of Ian’s eyes. He smiled gently at him and gestured to the bed, “You mind if I…?”

Ian managed to shake his head and pulled the covers back for Mickey to climb in. Mickey toed off his shoes and got into Ian’s bed, pulling the covers back over him as he slid over close to Ian.

Ian just looked at him in awe for a few minutes before his face started to crumple, and tears escaped his eyes. Mickey pulled him into his arms and rubbed his back, saying, “It’s okay, sweetheart, I gotcha…I gotcha…”

Ian sobbed quietly for a few minutes, then pulled back and looked at Mickey with red-rimmed eyes, “Mickey…”

He didn’t seem to have any other words, so Mickey reached up with one hand and wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks before Ian tucked his head into Mickey’s neck. He pressed his body against Mickey’s, and Mickey rubbed his back as he felt Ian’s tears against his neck. When he felt Ian’s sobs quiet down, he turned to kiss the side of his head.

He continued rubbing his back and didn’t try to move away from him as he quietly said, “You wanna tell me about it?”

Ian hiccupped another sob as he whispered, “I miss her so much, Mick…fuck, I miss her…’s not fucking fair…” 

Mickey sighed, “Losing someone you care about never is.”

Ian pulled back, and a fresh wave of tears came down his cheeks as he started getting upset, “But she had a choice, Mickey…a fucking choice…and she’s the one who chose to leave me. She’s the one who did it. It didn’t just fucking happen…she chose to make it happen. And I don’t…I just…why, Mickey?” Ian turned tear filled eyes to Mickey, “She told me she loved me, told me that I was the best thing she ever did…why wasn’t I enough to make her want to stay?”

He curled in on himself as he started to sob again, and Mickey was right there to pull Ian’s body against him as he placed kisses on the top of his head and rubbed his back, trying to provide some semblance of comfort.

Mickey tried to find some kind of words he could say to help, and he remembered Mandy’s words from the night before about just being there and making sure Ian knew that he loved him, and he said, “I don’t know why it happened, Ian. I don’t know why she did it. All I can tell you is that you have so many people in your life who love you who are going to be here…who are going to stay here…by your side and not leave.”

Ian’s sobs quieted down, and Mickey continued mindlessly rubbing his back as he said, “You’ve got Lip, Mandy, all those other Gallagher siblings whose names you haven’t told me yet that I don’t remember from when we were growing up. You’ve got Geneva and Ash and Mary, all the kids at the shelter. They all love and care about you so much.”

Then Mickey swallowed and took a deep breath before pulling back so he could look Ian in the eyes, “And you’ve got me. I…I love you, Ian, and ‘m not going anywhere.”

The emotions in Ian’s eyes were shining as clear as the sun, and a few more tears escaped down his cheeks as he said, “Mickey…fuck…I love you, too, Mick. ‘m so sorry for not saying it that night, but I felt it…fuck…I felt it way before that. I just…fuck, I love you so much, Mickey…so fucking much…”

Mickey knew this was an emotionally raw day for Ian, but his words flowed through Mickey, and he couldn’t help the burst of love and happiness that exploded inside of him as he went in, lips first.

His excitement meant his lips were a little off-center as he smashed into Ian’s face, somewhere between his mouth and his chin. They both laughed at the clumsiness of it, then Mickey adjusted and pressed his mouth against Ian’s.

Ian moaned into the kiss and quickly opened his mouth, stroking his tongue against Mickey’s. They both moaned, and Ian scooted as close as he could to press his body against Mickey’s. They both lost themselves in the moment and in the kiss, and it was Mickey who regained control of himself first.

Ian looked at him dazed, and Mickey gave him a half-smile, “I can only imagine how rough today has been for you, Ian, and I’m happy to lay here with you and hold you while you cry and get it out, but…”

He trailed off, and Ian looked at him expectantly, “But…?”

“I love you, but do you think it’d be possible to manage taking a shower and brushing your teeth?”

Ian cracked up at Mickey’s question, and he teased back, “Trying to say I stink or something, Milkovich?"

Mickey chuckled and reached up to cup Ian’s cheek, “I’ll take you any way I can get you, but…yeah, I definitely think you could benefit from a shower and a toothbrush.”

Ian smiled at him and nodded, “Okay, yeah, I can do that,” he pulled back the covers and slowly swung his legs to the side to get up. He stood up and stretched, his body stiff from lying in bed all day. He ambled toward his bathroom, then turned back and cocked an eyebrow at Mickey, “Well? You coming?”

About 30 minutes later, they both came back into Ian’s bedroom, naked, drying off after showering together. After Ian’s declaration of love, it had been tempting to want to turn the shower sexual, but Mickey recognized that’s not what Ian needed right now. He needed love and comfort. The sex could come later.

Once they were dry, Mickey nodded his head in the direction of the bed, “Wanna lay back down?”

Ian nodded shyly, afraid that Mickey was going to try to convince him to leave his room and join the land of the living. Luckily, he did no such thing, and they crawled back into bed and gravitated toward each other.

Ian leaned in to kiss Mickey, then he pulled back, “Better?”

Mickey nodded, “Much.”

They kissed again, then pulled back from each other and lay there facing each other as Mickey trailed his fingers up and down Ian’s back.

Mickey swallowed, then said, “Look, man, I completely understand if you don’t want to talk about her or what happened, but if you do…y’know, ‘m here.”

Ian nodded, “How’d you find out what today was?”

Mickey grimaced apologetically, “Mandy. She, uh, she just told me what’d happened to your mom, but she didn’t tell me anything else.”

Ian nodded, “She alluded to it, though.”

Mickey shrugged, “Maybe a little. She told me she wasn’t going to tell your story, though, said it needed to come from you if or when you wanted to talk about it.”

Ian was quiet for what felt like a long stretch of time, long enough for Mickey to say, “Look, you don’t have to…”

But Ian cut him off, “She, uh, Monica…she overdosed. That’s how she died, and I was the one who found her a few minutes before it happened. I was…fuck…I was so heartbroken that she’d done that, that she’d decided to just leave, so after she died, I, uh, I barely remember any of this, but she apparently still had some pills she hadn’t taken, so I reached for those and swallowed enough for the pain to go away. Lip was the one who found me and called 911. After they took me to the hospital and pumped my stomach, Lip went to the closest bar and got drunk. He’d been sober for a year at that point. And he’s been sober since. Went to rehab the next day, and I stayed in Cook County for the next 6 months.”

Mickey nodded, feeling his own tears coming to his eyes. The very thought that there had been a possibility that he would never have met Ian, that Ian would’ve been gone from this world before Mickey had ever known there was an Ian was pretty intense to think about.

Mickey reminded himself that this wasn’t about him. It was about Ian, so he blinked back his tears and looked Ian directly in the eye and said, “I’m so glad you stayed. So glad you’re still here.”

Tears sprang to Ian’s eyes once again, and he leaned in to kiss Mickey, “Me, too, Mick…me fucking too.”

They had lain together, reveling in the closeness they both felt and eventually, Mickey noticed Ian’s eyes starting to get heavy.

“Hey,” Mickey said quietly, “probably be a good idea to eat something and take your meds before you drift off to sleep.”

Ian yawned and shrugged, “’m not hungry.”

“I know. Still need to eat something.”

Ian nodded slightly, and Mickey leaned down to kiss his forehead, “Don’t fall asleep before I get back.”

Ian smiled and yawned again, “I’ll try.”

Mickey slipped his shirt and boxers on and went out to the kitchen. Even though it was almost midnight, Lip was sitting in the living room. He looked up when he heard Ian’s door open, and after Mickey had shut his door back, Lip asked, “How’s, uh, how’s he doing?”

Mickey sighed, “He was pretty rough earlier, but,” he shrugged, “based on what he told me, ‘s kinda understandable, you know?”

Lip sighed, “Yeah, he was always closer to Monica than any of the rest of us were. We all learned from an early age that she couldn’t be counted on and that she’d come and go as she pleased. Ian, though, whenever she’d come around, was like he’d forget all the times she’d left. They were thick as thieves when she was there, then when she’d leave, he’d cry for about a day afterward. Could never understand why he couldn’t just see her the way we did.”

Mickey shrugged, “Sounds like they had a special connection. Can’t just turn that off and on.”

Lip nodded, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

There was a brief pause, then Mickey said, “You got anything I can fix real quick and take in there for him to eat? Doesn’t have to be anything big, just needs something on his stomach so he can take his meds.”

Lip got up from the couch, “Yeah, I can make him a sandwich real quick.”

Mickey waved him away, “Nah, man, I got it. I can do it.”

“You sure?”

Mickey just gave him a look, then set about to get bread, condiments, meat, and cheese. Lip walked over to stand at the counter while he made it, and he smiled faintly as he watched Mickey make the sandwich for Ian.

Mickey looked up when he was done and said, “What’s with the face?”

Lip’s smile grew for a moment before he said, “I’m really glad he has you, Mickey. I’m even more glad that both of you got your heads out of your asses and decided to talk and figure shit out.”

Mickey smiled as he put everything back in its place, “Yeah, me, too.”

He grabbed a paper towel for the sandwich, and a bottle of water from the fridge, then he looked back at Lip, “Okay, so good talk. ‘m gonna take this in to him.”

Lip chuckled, “See you in the morning, Mick.”

Mickey took the food in to Ian, whose eyes were closed, but Mickey could tell he wasn’t fully asleep just yet. He turned on the lamp next to his bed on the lowest setting and set the food and water down on one of the nightstands. Feeling sappy and in love, he leaned down to kiss Ian gently, and when he pulled back, Ian smiled with his eyes closed. They slowly blinked open, and he looked up at Mickey, “Better be careful, Milkovich. I could get used to that.”

He sat up in his bed, and Mickey leaned in to kiss him again, “I sure hope so, Gallagher.”

They both smiled lovingly at each other, and Mickey handed Ian his sandwich. Ian took a bite, then looked at Mickey, surprised, “This is my favorite sandwich. How’d you know?”

Mickey shrugged and smiled, “I pay attention.”

Ian swallowed the food, then reached for Mickey’s wrist to pull him back over to him. He leaned forward to place a lingering kiss on Mickey’s lips, then pulled back and whispered, “I really fucking love you.”

Mickey grinned and whispered back, “I really fucking love you, too.”

The next morning, Ian woke up, and it took him a minute to get his bearings. He felt warmth against his back, and when he looked down and saw the arm around his waist, he remembered that Mickey had spent the night and was currently spooning him from behind. He carefully pried his fingers from his waist so he could go piss. When he came back, he slid back into bed, this time facing Mickey instead of away from him.

For a few moments, Ian lay there and watched Mickey sleep, marveling at the fact that this was his…they hadn’t really discussed labels yet, but definitely his guy…his partner. He was so lost in the thought of what to call Mickey that he missed the barely cracked open eye, so it startled him when he heard, “’s fucking creepy to watch people sleep.”

Ian blushed and bit his lip as he shrugged, “What can I say? You’re nice to look at.”

Mickey smiled and slowly opened both of his eyes. He reached a hand over to rub Ian’s arm, “How’re you doing this morning?”

Ian shrugged and looked away without responding, so Mickey asked, “You doing okay? What’s up?”

Ian shrugged again and said, “I dunno, it’s stupid, ‘s just…this is the 2^nd time you’ve seen me be a complete wreck, and I…fuck…’m just feeling kinda vulnerable right now.”

Mickey paused for a minute. He could certainly understand the sentiment, and if he was in Ian’s shoes, he’d probably feel the same way right now. He tried to think of what might help him feel better.

He cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, I can understand that. Would it, uh, would it make you feel better if I told you a story about my past, kinda even things up a little?”

Ian’s eyes lit up as he nodded, “Yeah…but, uh, are you sure you want to?”

Mickey smiled at Ian, “I trust you…and I love you. Of course I want to share things with you.”

Ian nodded, “Okay.”

Mickey settled in next to Ian and said, “Okay, you remember when you asked me if Terry knew I was gay?”

Ian nodded.

Mickey sighed, then said, “Okay, well this is the story of what happened.”

Ian listened in horror as Mickey recounted the hook-up he’d brought home with him because he knew his dad was supposed to be out the entire weekend. It had been freezing outside, so his random encounter had convinced Mickey to let him stay the night with the promise of sex the following morning. Mickey had agreed, and the next morning, as he was getting pounded against the couch, Terry had walked in and caught them mid-thrust.

Mickey talked about it as if he was completely disconnected from the memory, and Ian thought to himself that it must be a coping technique to deal with such a horrible experience. When he reached the part about “the Russian,” Ian’s eyes filled with tears. He listened to Mickey talk about being raped by Terry by proxy and fearing for his life before, during, and after. After Mickey physically recovered from being pistol-whipped, he’d grabbed Mandy, and they left the Milkovich house to live with their Aunt Rande for a couple of weeks. Terry had figured them out after about a week, so one night, Rande gave them $500 and told them to use it however they could to get away (and stay away) from Terry. Luckily, it was the following week when Terry had been picked up for failing a drug test, and Mickey and Mandy hadn’t seen him since.

When Mickey finished telling the story, he looked at Ian and saw tears clinging to his eyelashes. He reached up to cup Ian’s cheek, “Hey, why’re you crying?”

Ian closed his eyes and shook his head, swallowing to try and get his tears under control. Once he felt like he could talk without crying, he opened his eyes and looked at Mickey, “That’s just…I mean…holy fuck, Mickey. I can’t imagine going through something like that, and at the hands of your own father? Fuck…Frank’s a piece of shit, but Terry…I just…jesus…”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, there’s a special place in the fiery pits of hell for him to fuck off to when he dies.”

Ian looked at him, his eyes wide, “How can you talk about it like you’re okay with everything that happened?”

Mickey shrugged, “It’s part of what made me who I am. I mean, I hate it. I’ll never get to a point where ‘m okay with what happened, but it happened. No use pretending like it didn't,” he paused, “You know, I just realized something. It was when I was seeing Doc while I was in prison, and I had just told her about, you know, what had happened. After she told me that Terry was a horrible person, she said something that sounded super fucking cliché that made me vomit in my mouth a little at the time, but I think I understand what she meant now.”

“What’d she say?”

“She said that we’re all broken in some way, but just because parts of us might be broken or cracked doesn’t mean we aren’t still amazing,” Mickey paused to look at Ian, “and that’s us, man. We’ve been through some pretty hardcore shit in our lives, yeah? But we came through on the other side. We’re not weak or, you know, below other people. We’re survivors, Ian, and that is fucking beautiful.”

Chapter Text

The following week, everyone noticed a change in Ian. He oozed a level of self-confidence no one in his personal or professional life had seen before. It wasn’t overtly obvious, and he didn’t come across as cocky, but there was an air of self-acceptance that hadn't been there, and Mickey couldn’t help but beam at the change every time they were together.

It was close to the end of the week, and Ian and Mickey were almost back to the shelter from their weekly lunch date when Ian’s phone rang. He didn’t recognize the number and almost didn’t answer, but decided to at the last minute.

“Hello?”

“Hello, may I speak with a Mr. Ian Gallagher, please?”

“Speaking.”

“Ah, Mr. Gallagher, my name is Robert Blass. I represent Adam Cox. I wanted to reach out to you regarding the assault charges you took out on Mr. Cox a couple of months ago. It’s my understanding that Mr. Cox left you a voice message informing you that he was dropping the charges against your brother and…partner, it looks like, and that he requested you do the same. As Mr. Cox has not received a response from you at this time, he has authorized me to make you an offer. In exchange for dropping the charges against him, he is prepared to purchase a year’s supply of medication for you.”

Mickey had been standing next to Ian, watching the emotions change on his face, but when he heard Ian say, “He what?” as the color drained from his face, he was immediately concerned.

“Ian?” he whispered, “Who is it?”

Ian shook his head and held up a finger, indicating for Mickey to wait a minute. He nodded and waited for Ian to get off the phone.

“Can I, uh, can I have some time to think about it?”

“This offer expires one week from tomorrow, Mr. Gallagher. I look forward to hearing back from you.”

“Yeah, uh, thanks.”

Ian hung up the phone and looked completely shell-shocked after he did.

“E? What happened? Who was that?”

Ian looked down at his phone, “It was, uh, Adam’s lawyer. He was calling to ask if I was going to drop the charges, then he…he offered to pay for my medications for a year if I drop the charges against him.”

Mickey blew out a breath, “Whoa…what, uh, what are you thinking?”

Ian shrugged, “With everything else that’s happened, I had completely forgotten that I had even filed charges against him. And now…I dunno…I don’t want to drop the charges because he’s bribing me to, but I also don’t wanna face him in court. I really just want to be done with him and not be connected to him in any way. I’m fine with dropping them, but…I gotta be honest, Mickey, my meds aren’t cheap. Having a year’s worth of medication paid for? I’ve gotta think about that. I can’t just turn that down without thinking about it.”

Mickey nodded, “I get that. But, would it give him one final connection to you? Would it be one final thing you ‘needed’ him for or whatever?”

Ian sighed, “I don’t know. You’ve got a point. I just…fuck…guess I got a lot to think about, huh?”

Mickey nodded as they walked back into the shelter. They started back toward the office, but Mickey paused at Mary’s door. Ian turned to look at him questioningly, and Mickey gestured to the door, “I just gotta talk to Mary about something real quick. Just something that came up with D’mitri yesterday.”

Ian looked like he didn’t quite believe him, but he smiled at him anyway, “See you back in the office in a few minutes.”

Mickey nodded, and Ian walked around the corner.

He knocked on Mary’s office door.

“Already heard you talking, Milkovich. C’mon in.”

Mickey entered her office and sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

She turned to face him, “Now, what’s this about D’mitri?”

Mickey swallowed, “That wasn’t actually what I wanted to talk to you about, Mary.”

“No?” she cocked an eyebrow, “Well, color me intrigued, Milkovich. What’s on your mind?”

Mickey took a deep breath, “I really love working here, Mary. This is a great place, and I love the kids, and I feel like it’s all fitting together.”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to give me your notice here, Milkovich?”

Mickey huffed out an awkward laugh, “No, nothing like that. I was just, uh, I was just wondering if it might be a possibility for us to ever get health insurance.”

Mary stared at him hard for a few moments, and just as Mickey was getting ready to take his statement back, she turned to a pile of papers on her desk and pulled out a few pages that were paper clipped together.

“This,” she handed it over to Mickey, “is an application for a grant for health insurance for employees who work for non-profit organizations. I’ve been trying to make headway on it for the past few weeks, but it feels like every few questions, I have to answer a phone call or send an e-mail.”

Mickey looked through it, “When is it due?”

“Next Friday,” Mary replied, “I’d love to be able to offer my employees health insurance, I just have no idea how I’m gonna be able to get it do-…”

“I’ll do it,” Mickey interjected, “I can finish it.”

Mary looked at him warily, “Milkovich? You sick or something that you need health insurance?”

Mickey blushed, “’s not for me.”

Mary nodded knowingly, “I should’ve guessed. I can’t ask you to do that, though. As shelter director, I have to be the one who oversees it."

"So, then oversee it,” Mickey replied, “I’ll fill out the parts I know, and for the parts I don’t know, I’ll come ask you.”

Mary still didn’t look convinced, “I dunno, it’s an awful lot of…”

“Mary,” the no-nonsense tone in Mickey’s voice caught her attention, “I can do this, and more importantly, I can have it ready to go by the end of next week.”

Mary still looked unsure, but she made a copy of the application and handed it to Mickey, “Okay, Milkovich, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Later that evening, Ian and Mickey were washing dishes, and Ian playfully hip checked him, “You ready for our date Saturday night?”

The looming deadline of the grant application flashed into Mickey’s head, and he gulped. He knew he was going to have to work on it over the weekend, which meant he was about to have to cancel his weekly date night with Ian.

He felt a lump in his throat as he swallowed and said, “Actually, I’ve got something I’ve gotta do Saturday night. Something that just came up. Mandy texted a little while ago, and she needs my help with something. I don’t know. I’ll find out when I get home.”

Internally, Mickey was telling himself to shut the fuck up because even his inner self was cringing at the obvious lies that were coming from his mouth. It made it all the worse when he saw Ian’s face fall in disappointment for just a second before he forced a smile, “Oh, hey, it’s cool. No problem. I guess we’ll just have to wait for next week, yeah?”

An entire week with no date night sounded miserable to Mickey, so maybe…, “Hey, what about tomorrow night instead? I know we don’t get out of here until 7, but we could do a late date night, right?”

The light returned to Ian’s smile, and he nodded, “Yeah, we can totally do tomorrow night instead of Saturday. I just may have to change our plans a little. I had planned…well, I guess I can go ahead and ruin the surprise now…I had planned to take you to the theatre where they play old movies. They’ve got recliners, and you can order food and drink beer while you watch these classics. On Saturday, they’re doing a Steven Seagal double feature of ‘Under Siege’ and ‘Under Siege 2’.”

Mickey took a moment to make heart eyes at Ian, “You were going to take me to a Seagal double feature?”

Ian shrugged, “Yeah, I know how much you lust after him.”

Mickey grinned, “It’s the ponytail, man. It’s too powerful to resist.”

“Well, anyway, that’s where I was going to take you on Saturday, but I can adapt. I’m cool like that.”

Mickey paused for a second, “Hey, how about this? Since I’m the one who has to bail on Saturday night, why don’t you let me plan things for tomorrow?”

Ian gave Mickey a surprised smile, “Really?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, you’ve been planning dates for the past month, Gallagher. Give someone else a turn.”

Ian grinned and nodded, “Okay, yeah, we can do that. Where do you wanna go?”

Mickey chuckled, “Gotta at least give me a little more than 2 minutes to come up with something.”

Ian chuckled, “Okay, fine, can you at least text me before I come to work tomorrow and let me know if I need to bring anything with me?”

Mickey looked at him confused, “What would you need to bring with you?”

“I don’t know!” Ian waved his arms, feeling flustered, “A change of clothes, different shoes, whatever! Just…fuck…just fucking text me and let me know if I need to bring anything with me.”

Mickey couldn’t hide his amusement at watching Ian get flustered, but instead of teasing him, he just nodded, “I will text you before you come to work tomorrow and let you know if you need to bring some sort of magic bag or items with you.”

Ian flicked some of the dishwater at him, “Fuck you.”

Mickey laughed and felt relieved that they didn’t have to miss their weekly date night, “C’mon, Gallagher, let’s go get our stuff before you decide to flail your arms again and get water everywhere.”

The following day, Mickey was making a mental checklist of everything he needed for his date night with Ian that night. He’d texted Ian and told him he didn’t need to bring anything extra to work with him—check. He had the food items taken care of, or at least planned out—check. So, all he needed to do was get through the day, then go on said date.

Throughout that entire Friday, when Ian wasn’t bugging the shit out of him to tell him what the plans were for that night, Mickey was looking at the grant application. There was a lot of jargon he wasn’t quite sure about, and he mentally ran through who might be able to help him with it.

Then his brain hit on it.

Lip.

Lip was fucking smart and could probably understand shit like this.

Now, all he had to do was find an opportunity to talk to him without Ian overhearing their conversation.

They made it to the end of the day, and Ian was like an overgrown puppy in his excitement and anticipation of the date Mickey had planned for them.

“So, where we going, huh? What’re we doing?”

“Jesus, man…you have literally no chill. You know that, right?”

Ian shrugged, “Yeah, but you secretly love that about me.”

Mickey smirked and shrugged. It‘s not like Ian was wrong about that.

“So,” Ian nudged him, “where’re we going?”

Mickey thought for a second, “There’s actually a couple more things I’ve gotta set up, so why don’t you head to your apartment, and I’ll pick you up there in an hour?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, okay, you sure?”

Mickey nodded, “Yeah, I got this. I’ll see you at your place in an hour.”

Ian kissed him once before heading for the L. His curiosity was about to eat him alive, but he tried to gain control of it, telling himself that he’d know what the plan was soon enough.

True to his word, an hour later, there was a knock on his apartment door.

He went to open it, and Mickey barreled past him to get to the counter and set down all the things he was carrying.

Ian looked from Mickey to the bags, “What is all this?”

Mickey shrugged, “Took a page from your book. Figured if we can’t do the double feature at the theater, we’ll do it here in your apartment,” he started rifling through the bags, “we’ve got your movie popcorn, extra butter, other classic movie snacks,” he held up a few bags of candy, “a 6-pack for movie drinks, and a pizza should be here in the next 10 minutes.”

Ian grinned as he took everything in, “You planned us a movie night in?”

“Yeah?”

Ian walked over and grabbed the sides of his head and planted a kiss on his lips, “I love it. So, what’re we watching?”

“Well, I know part of the reason why you’d planned for us to go to the movies tomorrow was because you know how much I love Seagal, but I know you’re a Van Damme guy,” Mickey rolled his eyes, “so, I decided we’d compromise. One Van Damme movie, your choice, then Under Siege.”

Ian gave Mickey a huge smile and leaned in to kiss him again, “’s perfect, Mick.”

Mickey blushed, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll take care of getting the snacks set up, you go turn on your fancy TV over there and find us our first movie.”

Ian headed over to the living room with a huge smile on his face as he turned on the TV and navigated to a movie app to choose their first one.

“Mmmm…you’re missing your movie, tough guy,” Mickey pulled back from Ian’s 4^th or 5^th attempt at a make-out session on the couch.

Ian pulled him back in, “You act like this isn’t what we would’ve been doing in the theater anyway.”

Mickey gave in for a moment, then pulled back again, “How would that have worked with the recliners?”

“They’re side by side. Woulda just had to lift up the arm rest, and it would’ve been just like this,” he went back in for another kiss, then pulled back, “only difference is we don’t have to worry about getting reprimanded if things get a little PG-13 here.”

Mickey felt the sparks of lust start to flare through his body, “What’s a little PG-13?”

“I dunno,” Ian said coyly, “maybe I start by pushing you down on the couch,” he pushed on Mickey’s shoulders and leaned with him as Mickey lay down on the couch, and Ian stretched out his body to lay half on top of him and half beside him, “then maybe I make out with you some more,” he leaned down and flicked his tongue against the seam of Mickey’s lips, and when Mickey opened his mouth, Ian launched a full assault of his tongue against Mickey’s, causing them both to moan into the other’s mouth.

“Maybe,” Ian’s voice got huskier, “I reach down,” his hand reached the bottom of Mickey’s shirt as he slipped his hand up to feel his skin, “and feel you up underneath your shirt,” Mickey moaned at the light touch of Ian’s fingers on his skin, “maybe,” he paused to kiss Mickey, “I even try and take your shirt off so I can feel you even more.”

Mickey was panting by this time, and he looked up into Ian’s eyes, “I will if you will.”

Ian nodded, “Yeah…fuck, yeah…”

They both divested themselves of their shirts, and Ian pressed his chest against Mickey’s. The feeling of skin on skin had both of them hardening in their pants, and Ian started rocking ever so slightly against Mickey’s hip. Mickey pulled back from the kiss, “So, that’s what ‘a little PG-13’ is?”

Ian nodded against him, then Mickey asked, “What bumps it up to an R rating?”

Ian’s eyes flashed as he trailed his hand down Mickey’s side until he reached the bulge in his pants. Mickey moaned as Ian pressed against it and palmed his erection through his pants.

“This is what bumps it up to an R rating.”

Mickey’s breath was ragged as he said, “Just that? I dunno, man, still feels pretty PG-13 to me.”

Ian continued palming him, “That’s the thing, though. R-rated activities aren’t meant for public viewing.”

Mickey looked around the apartment, “This is hardly public.”

“I know,” Ian smiled at him, “but Lip and I have a rule about cumming on the couch or in any common areas.”

Mickey felt his dick throb, “Oh, so is that where this is going? Here, I just thought we were watching movies, Gallagher.”

Ian shrugged, “It’s kind of what I was hoping the date would end with.”

Mickey smiled at him, amused, as he rolled his hips against Ian’s hand, “So…fuck, don’t stop…I’m just curious…if we’d been at the theater instead of your living room, how would we have gotten to this point?”

Ian leaned in until they were practically breathing the same air, and he murmured, “It probably would’ve been at your place if we had gone with my plan. When I walked you back to your apartment, I probably would’ve pulled you over to that corner of your building, you know the one that’s out of any direct light?” Mickey nodded, and Ian continued, “I would’ve pushed you against the side of the building and made out with you while I pressed my dick against you,” Ian ground himself against Mickey’s hip, and Mickey moaned, “Yeah, just like that. Then, I would’ve reached between us and started stroking you through your pants,” Ian started breathing heavily as he listened to Mickey’s quiet moans, “fuck…yeah, like that, then I probably would’ve asked you if you wanted to continue this inside.”

“Oh,” Mickey breathed out as he thrust slightly against Ian’s hand.

Ian nodded, “Would it have worked?”

“Ungh…fuck, yeah, it would’ve worked…fuck, Ian…I think we, uh,” Mickey swallowed, “This is about to kick up to a heavy R rating in your living room if we don’t relocate, man. Fuck…feels too fucking good…really wanna try avoiding cumming in my pants if I can.”

Ian gave one last squeeze to Mickey’s erection through his pants before lifting himself off of Mickey. He offered his hand for Mickey to take, and Mickey held up one finger, “Hold on…need just a minute before I can move.”

Ian smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him. Mickey took a final deep breath, then he reached for Ian’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled from the couch. Ian wrapped his arms around him and walked him back to his bedroom, keeping one eye open so they didn’t trip over anything in their haste to resume what had been happening on the couch.           

Once they entered Ian’s room, Ian walked Mickey back until his legs were against the bed. He leaned over Mickey, giving him no other option but to lay back as Ian lowered himself on top of him. Ian leaned to one side to prop his weight on one elbow while he trailed his fingers down Mickey’s torso. Mickey arched into his touch and moaned loudly when Ian reached his waistband.

Ian pulled at it, stretching it out a little, then he placed his fingers over Mickey’s button and asked huskily, “Can I?”

Mickey nodded enthusiastically as he panted, “Yeah…fuck yeah…fucking touch me…wanna feel you, E.”

Ian hurriedly unbuttoned Mickey’s button and pulled down his zipper. He pulled his boxers down as far as he could and reached in to wrap his hand around Mickey’s shaft. Mickey’s jaw dropped open as his eyes rolled back in his head, and he hissed at the pleasure of feeling Ian’s hand on him again.

“Holy shit, Gallagher…fuck…’m not…’m not gonna last long…feels too fucking good…”

Ian leaned down to kiss Mickey as he started a rhythm of stroking his dick. Mickey moaned into his mouth and arched into his touch. Suddenly, he pulled back, panting, and asked, “Did you…have you…fuck…gotten tested?”

Ian nodded against him, “’ve been carrying around the test results in my wallet for whenever we got to that point.”

Mickey whimpered in the back of his throat, and Ian felt a drop of precum in Mickey’s slit as he stroked his hand back down Mickey’s shaft.

“Then why…fucking…why are you not inside me right now?”

Ian looked at him sheepishly, “I didn’t exactly expect this tonight…need to, uh, get some lube.”

Mickey looked at him desperately, “I promise ‘m good with spit.”

Ian shook his head, panting and rocking against Mickey as he stroked him closer and closer to orgasm, “You know how big I am, Mick. When we do this, I don’t wanna worry that I’m hurting you…wanna be able to prep you so I can slide in…in one…long…thrust…”

Picturing that was all it took for Mickey to explode onto himself and Ian’s hand. His body jerked a few more times as cum continued to spurt out of his dick. When he’d finished, he giddily smiled at Ian, “Fuck, Gallagher,” he reached up to pull him down for a kiss, “can’t fucking wait.”

It was a little bit later that night, after Mickey had taken care of Ian and Ian had pretty much passed out after his orgasm and taking his meds, that Mickey put on his shirt and boxers so he could grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

He was thankful to see Lip in the kitchen, and he stopped him before he could head on into his room.

“Yo, Lip, I got a favor to ask. Actually, I got 2 questions that are part of that favor. One, what’re your plans for this coming week, and two, you know anything about grant applications?”

Chapter Text

The following week, Ian couldn't shake the feeling that there was something the closest people in his life were keeping from him. Lip was spending all his free time at Mandy’s, and Mickey had been dead on his feet almost every morning when he stumbled into the office. When Ian asked about it, though, Mickey just brushed it off, saying he wasn’t sleeping well, and that he’d been helping Mandy out with some sort of project. Ian wondered if Lip was helping out, too, and he couldn’t imagine what sort of seemingly secret project the three of them were working on and not including him in.

Nothing else seemed to be off, though. Mickey wasn’t pulling away from their relationship or anything like that. In fact, if anything, they were closer than ever.

His appointments with Meg had changed from twice a week to once a week on Wednesday morning, so he decided to bring it up in his therapy session with her.

“I don’t know how to explain the feeling I have,” Ian began, “it just feels like I’m being left out of something big, you know?”

Meg thought for a moment, “Have you considered asking any of them what it is?”

Ian shrugged and sighed, “I mean, I’ve asked Mickey if everything’s okay since he’s come into work the past two days looking completely exhausted.”

“But it doesn’t sound like you’ve directly addressed the issue, Ian. Would that be accurate to say?”

Ian whined in frustration, then said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Do you think there’s a reason why you haven’t?”

Ian shrugged, “I dunno…maybe…maybe I’m hoping it’s all in my imagination, you know? That they’re not excluding me from something, that there’s not something I’m being left out of the loop with.”

Meg nodded, “In our sessions, I know you’ve talked about how poor the communication was with some of your other partners. Do you think those experiences are coming into play here?”

Ian sighed, then nodded, “Probably. That’s not really fair, is it?”

Meg shrugged, “Probably not, but it is human. We often take what we’ve experienced in the past and apply it to what’s currently happening in our lives.”

Ian sat quietly for a few moments as he thought about what Meg had just said, then she asked, “What would it be like for you to ask Lip or Mickey or Mandy if there’s something they’re keeping from you?”

Ian shrugged, “What if there is?”

“Then you can deal with it then. If there is something they’re working on together and not telling you about, does that mean it’s bad?”

Ian sighed, “Always has been in the past when people were keeping something from me.”

“And what did we just say about the past?”

Ian rolled his eyes slightly, “That our past experiences can affect how we see our current ones, and it’s not fair to assume that’s the case.”

Meg smiled gently and nodded, “Exactly. What’s the worst case scenario here, Ian?”

Ian blew out a breath, “I…’m not sure…maybe it’s that they’re working on something they don’t want me to be a part of?”

Meg nodded, “What’s the best case scenario?”

Ian thought for a moment, “That…the thing they’re working on is something good, maybe even a surprise for me?”

“If the worst case scenario is true, is it something that you don’t think you’ll be able to move past?”

Ian thought about that question for a few minutes, “I don’t know,” he paused again, “it would probably depend on what it is.”

Meg nodded, “That’s a fair answer. It sounds like even if the worst case scenario turns out to be true, you would ask more questions, seek more information, yes?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, I guess that would make sense to do instead of jumping to conclusions.”

Meg smiled, “I agree. How’ve things been between you and Mickey?”

Ian ducked his head and smiled, “They’ve been great. He’s been great. For the first time, I feel like I’m really, truly loved.”

Meg’s smile grew, “That’s really beautiful, Ian. And I hope you realize how significant it is to feel that way.”

Ian smiled, “I also…for the first time, I feel like I deserve it…or like I’m trying to deserve it,” he shrugged, “I guess it’s still a process.”

Meg smiled and nodded, “As are most things when it comes to changing how we see and think about things.”

There was a beat of silence, then Meg said, “Well, Ian, it sounds like another week of great work on your part. You’ve got a plan moving forward about how to deal with whatever the situation is with your brother and Mickey and his sister, so is there anything more you wanted to talk about today before our time is over?”

Ian thought for a moment, “Oh! Um, I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but I got a call from Adam’s lawyer last week. He was asking about dropping the charges. To be honest, I had almost forgotten about them completely. But his lawyer said in exchange for dropping the charges, he was offering to pay for a year’s worth of my medications.”

Meg’s eyes got big, “Whoa, Ian…what’re your thoughts about that?”

Ian sighed frustratedly and ran a hand through his hair, “I have no fucking idea. I mean, on the one hand, dropping the charges…sure, why not? He should have consequences for what he did to me, but at this point, I’m just ready to wash my hands of all of it and him. But on the other…bipolar meds are expensive. I have about a month left of what I grabbed before making a clean break from him, and this…I dunno…what do you think I should do?”

Meg smirked at him and shook her head, “You know better than to ask your therapist for advice, Ian. That’s not how this works.”

Ian rolled his neck in exasperation, “Fuck…yeah, I know, but this is a big decision, Meg.”

Meg nodded, “I agree, so let’s talk it out. What are the pros of accepting his offer?”

Ian thought for a moment, then said, “I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to pay for my medications for the entire next year. I can save money so that when I do run out, I’ll be in a better place and have more of a cushion so I won’t be as worried about the cost. I don’t have to worry about running out and not being able to get more.”

Meg nodded, “Okay, now what about the cons?”

Ian blew out a breath, “It’s one more thing connecting me to him. I’m afraid it’ll make him think I still…need him, or something, in my life.”

“Okay, what are the pros of not accepting his offer? Just dropping the charges?”

“Well…I get to be free and clear of him. There would be nothing left to connect me to him in any way, shape, or form. It would send a message that I don’t need anything from him, that I’m strong enough to stand on my own and take care of my own shit."

"And the cons?"

Ian sighed heavily, “Not being able to afford meds, running out of meds, having a manic or depressive episode due to running out of meds.”

Meg sighed, “This is a big decision, Ian. When do you have to make it by?”

“Friday. I have to let him know by Friday.”

Meg nodded, “Can I give you a suggestion?”

Ian looked at her pleadingly, “Dear god, yes, please, anything!”

Meg smiled, “Go to the people in your life whom you trust and get their input. The decision is ultimately up to you, but it doesn’t hurt to get the perspective of people who love you when you have a big choice to make. I look forward to seeing how everything turned out next week.”

Ian scrubbed his hand over his face, “Yeah…me, too.”

He got to work, and it wasn’t a surprise that Mickey slipped in right at the last moment. Even without whatever it was that was making him tired, punctuality wasn’t his thing. Ian couldn’t help but grin to himself at Mickey’s predictability of arriving right as he was supposed to and not a moment sooner.

He smiled at Ian after he got settled at his desk, then blew him a kiss, but even Ian could see his heart wasn’t completely in the smile he gave him. He made a mental note to ask Mickey what was going on after their morning meeting with Mary.

Unfortunately, though, as soon as Mary had concluded their morning check-in, she stopped by Mickey’s desk and said, “Milkovich, can I see you in my office?”

Mickey nodded bleary-eyed and followed her down the hallway.

Ash and Geneva shot each other concerned looks, and Ash said, “Ooh, I wonder what that’s about,” then they turned to Ian, “do you know what that’s about?”

Ian couldn’t help but look a little miserable as he sighed and said, “I have absolutely no idea.”

Ian busied himself with taking care of the things on his to-do list, and Mickey didn’t get back to the office until almost noon. He walked in and collapsed into his desk chair, letting out a huge yawn.

Ian had just hung up with the guardian of one of his kids, and he wheeled his chair over to Mickey’s desk.

“Hey,” he said, looking at Mickey with concern, “is everything okay?”

Mickey managed a half-smile, and he nodded, “Yeah, man, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?”

Ian shrugged, “I dunno. You just seem extra exhausted this week, then being called into Mary’s office this morning. Just feels like something’s up.”

Mickey shrugged and wouldn’t make eye contact with Ian, “Nah, it’s cool. Mary just wanted to talk to me about the certification exam for peer support, showed me where I could find some study materials online.”

Ian looked at him warily, “You’re not set to take that for another 7 months or so. Why is she talking to you about it now?”

Mickey slightly rolled his eyes, “I dunno if you’ve realized this or not, Gallagher, but schoolwork and tests have never been one of my strong suits. Mary just wants me to start getting prepared and studying, you know, before it gets to the last minute before I’m supposed to take the exam.”

Ian put his hands up, recognizing the beginning of agitation in Mickey’s tone, “Okay, Mick, okay…I didn’t mean anything by it. ‘s just…I’ve just been feeling weird this week, like there’s something going on, you know?”

Not being one to give anything away, Mickey looked at him with the most neutral face he could muster, “What do you mean?”

Ian sighed, “I dunno. ‘s just Lip’s been over at yours and Mandy’s place every night since Saturday, and you’re busy doing something with Mandy, and it just…it feels like there’s something going on that I’m being left out of.”

Mickey blew out a breath, “Okay, well first of all, Lip’s been over at the apartment every night because he’s banging my sister,” he shuddered, “much as I don’t want to admit that…and I told you I’m helping Mandy out with a project. I mean, I can tell you about it when it’s done, but I don’t think you’ll find it that interesting.”

Ian looked at him fondly, “It’s something involving you in some way. Of course I’ll find it interesting.”

Mickey grinned at him, “Okay, okay…I’ll tell you about it when it’s done, okay?”

Ian nodded, then said, “So it’s all in my imagination? You guys aren’t doing something that you’re trying to exclude me from?”

Mickey looked at him like he was crazy, “Pfft…no, Gallagher…what kinda crazy idea is that?”

Ian sighed, “I guess it’s just me being paranoid,” he smiled sadly at Mickey, then pointed to his head, “stupid brain stuff.”

Mickey's expression turned serious, and he reached for Ian’s hand, forcing him to look at Mickey, “Listen, nothing about your brain is stupid, ok?”

Ian nodded automatically, and Mickey shook his head a little, “I’m serious, Ian. Tell me you know that.”

Ian shrugged and looked away, “Sometimes feels like it is.”

Mickey squeezed his hand, “Your brain is not stupid. I love your brain,” Mickey tipped his head up to kiss Ian’s forehead, “just like the rest of you.”

Ian squeezed his hand in return and smiled, then said, “Oh, hey, we on for date night this Saturday?”

Mickey smiled, “Sure, just let me finish this thing with Mandy, and then I can focus on that. You got somewhere in mind?”

Ian smirked at him, “Yeah, I definitely do.”

Over the course of the next couple of days, Ian talked about his Adam conundrum with both Ash and Geneva, but all they kept doing was balancing out his pros and cons lists. By the time Friday morning rolled around, Ian was no closer to deciding what he was going to do than he had been after he’d gotten the phone call the previous week.

Ian walked into the office early on Friday morning and turned on the light. He was completely shocked to see that Mickey was already there, and from the looks of it, was asleep with his head buried in his arms on his desk.

Ian walked over and gently rubbed his shoulder, “Mick?”

“Ungrrgh…,” came the response.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian said, just a little louder.

Another grumble in response.

Now, Ian’s curiosity over what Mickey had been helping Mandy with over the past week was turning more to the side of worry. Had Mickey slept at the shelter last night? Surely not. He and Ian had done their nightly ritual during the week of riding the L to Mickey’s stop and saying good night before Ian continued on home.

But if he hadn’t spent the night, then what time had he gotten to the shelter? And what the hell was going on?

Instead of trying to wake Mickey up anymore, Ian took off his jacket and put it over Mickey’s shoulders. Mickey sighed and seemed to relax into it, and Ian couldn’t help but smile at the effect his jacket had on Mickey.

Geneva and Ash arrived a few minutes before 10:30, and they all tried to stay quiet, giving Mickey as much time as they could for him to rest before Mary showed up for their morning check-in.

On this particular morning, they were all shocked when Mary came in and didn’t comment on Mickey’s obvious slumber at his desk. She didn’t try to wake him up or get his attention until the very end. As she walked by his desk, Ian, Geneva, and Ash all heard her ask, “You got it?” then they watched Mickey reach down into his bag that he always brought into work and hand over what looked like a manilla envelope. It was then that she addressed him directly, “Hey, Milkovich, why don’t you go lay down in one of the quiet rooms? It’s darker in there, and it’ll probably be easier to get some shut-eye.”

Mickey nodded, and he finally lifted his head from his desk. His eyes were bleary, and he slowly blinked as he took in the people around him. He yawned and stretched, then murmured, “Thanks, Mary,” and wrapped Ian’s jacket around him as he got up to leave the office.

Mary looked at the rest of them before tapping the envelope on Mickey’s desk and saying, “Staff meeting, 1:00, in here.”

She left their office, and Ian, Ash, and Geneva all looked at each other in concern and confusion.

“Ok,” Geneva began, “what the hell is going on? If any of us had been sleeping at our desks when she came in for morning check-in, she would’ve had our asses, but Mickey gets a free pass? Ian,” Ian turned to look at her, “is there something going on with him? Something that would cause Mary to take it easy on him?”

Wide-eyed, Ian shrugged, “Nothing that I know of. He said he’s been helping his sister out with some sort of project this week, and that’s why he’s been so tired every day. But I have no idea what that would have to do with how Mary just acted. I’m so confused…”

Ash spoke up, “I think we all are, honey. The math ain’t math-ing, as they say. And a staff meeting at 1? How’s that different than what we do in here every morning? Why couldn’t she just tell us what it is now?”

They all sat and mulled over the events that had just taken place. Ian mostly stayed quiet. He wanted to know what was going on, just like everyone else, but he also had a decision he had to focus on and figure out. He’d let Mickey rest for now, but he made a mental note to talk to him later. He knew it was his decision to make, but Mickey was a great sounding board, and Ian wanted his input.

A little over an hour later, Ian went to go track down Mickey in one of the quiet rooms, and he finally found him, sacked out on one of the larger couches. For a moment, he stood in the doorway and watched Mickey, marveling at how beautiful he was. His eyes raked over Mickey’s face and traveled down the rest of his body.

“Thought I told you ‘s fucking creepy to watch someone sleep,” Mickey’s eyes stayed closed while his lips twitched upward into a smirk.

“Fuck…thought you were fucking sleeping, Mick.”

One of Mickey’s eyes cracked open, and he said, “I was, then some gorgeous redhead decided to be a creeper and come watch me sleep.”

Ian couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, “Gorgeous redhead?”

Mickey’s eye fluttered closed again, “Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head or anything.”

“Hey, Mick?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Do you need a response, or can I just listen?”

“I kinda need a response,” Ian said nervously.

“Hmmm…what’s up, Gallagher?”

“Well,” Ian cleared his throat, “you know, today’s Friday, and I’ve gotta call Adam’s lawyer back by this afternoon.”

“Mmph…okay, and?”

“And? And I don’t know what to fucking say, Mickey!”

“Okay, okay, Gallagher, calm your tits a little. You leaning one way or the other?”

“No,” Ian said miserably, “I have no idea what the fuck I should do. What do you think I should do?”

Mickey sighed, “I know this is important, Ian, but is there any way it can wait until after the meeting or whatever at 1? I’d like maybe a few more minutes of shut-eye, but we can talk it through after the meeting gets done. ‘s that okay?”

Ian sighed, “Yeah, ‘s fine. I guess ‘m gonna go back to the office, then.”

He sounded dejected. Mickey almost broke and told him what the staff meeting was about, but he held strong and kept it inside. He did crack one eye open again and said, “Whoa, wait just a minute…” when Ian cocked an eyebrow, Mickey smiled lovingly at him, “kiss?”

Ian’s smile was closer to an actual smile as he walked over and knelt down next to the couch. He leaned in and kissed Mickey gently, and Mickey smiled, “That’s what ‘m talking about.”

Ian smiled in return, and Mickey said, “Okay, Gallagher, get your ass outta here. I’ll see you back in the office in a little bit.”

Ian kissed him one more time, then headed back to the office.

One o’clock finally rolled around, and Mary walked back into their office. She looked around and frowned, “Where’s Milkovich?”

“Here, right here, Mary. Sorry,” Mickey slipped into the office, running a hand through his hair.

Mary looked around the room at all of them, “I’m sure you’re all wondering what this is about,” then she held up the same manilla envelope they had all watched Mickey hand her that morning.

“Milkovich and I—well, mainly Milkovich—have been working on a grant application for health insurance for employees who work for non-profit organizations. This is the hard copy right here, and I just entered everything from here,” she pointed at the envelope, “to the online application and submitted it.”

There was a stunned silence afterward, and Ash was the first to speak, “So, wait a minute, if we get the grant, then we would have…like…real live health insurance? Like doctor and dentist appointments that we wouldn’t have to foot the bill for?”

“Well,” Mary shrugged, “there would still be a little bit of a co-pay, but yeah, what you would pay would be minimal compared to what the insurance would cover.”

Ian cleared his throat and asked, “What…what about medications?”

“Same,” Mary replied, “Not totally free, but I think the percentage is something like 90/10. You pay 10% of the cost, insurance covers the other 90%.”

They were all still shocked as Geneva asked, “When will we know if we got it?”

“Grant information said we should know within a month,” she looked around the room, “any other questions?”

They all looked at each other, then at her, like they had no idea what to say as they processed the information.

Mary nodded, “I’m sure you’ll have questions later. For now, say a big thank you to your fellow counselor. He’s been doing the lion’s share of the work this week,” she looked at Mickey, “seriously, Milkovich, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Mickey nodded, obviously still sleepy and exhausted.

Mary left the room, and Ash and Geneva seemed to come out of their surprised dazes first.

“No more free clinic, Ash, can you even imagine? I can go to an actual doctor and get an annual check-up.”

“Girl, I know!! I won’t have to rely on the low cost dentist they bring in to the public health clinic. I'm gonna get some teeth straighteners and whitening done, blind you bitches with my smile when I come in.”

Then they both turned to Mickey, "Mickey, this is amazing!! Thank you so much!!" and "Seriously, Mickey, this is the best! Thank you!"

So far, Ian was the only one who hadn’t said anything, and Mickey started to worry at his lack of response. He walked over to Ian’s desk and quietly said, “E?”

Ian turned to look at him, and Mickey could see the wheels turning in Ian’s head.

“This?” Ian questioned quietly, “Was this the 'project' you’ve been working on?”

Mickey shrugged, “Yeah, there was, uh, some of the words were over my head, so Lip’s been helping make sense of some of the parts that I didn’t understand.”

Ian nodded, and said, more to himself than Mickey, “That’s why he’s been over at Mandy’s every night this week.”

Ian continued to sit there in silence, and Mickey wasn’t sure how he should proceed. Was Ian mad that he had done this? Upset that Mickey hadn’t included him in the process? Did Ian think Mickey was overstepping where his health was concerned?

Just as Mickey was gearing up to apologize for whatever had Ian responding the way he was, Ian looked up at him, “Can I, uh, can we talk in private?”

Mickey nodded, even though that made him worry even more. Shit, here was this big thing he’d been trying to do so Ian could turn down Adam’s offer, and he’d somehow managed to fuck it up.

They made their way down the hall to one of the quiet rooms, and Mickey walked in, followed by Ian. As soon as they were inside the room, Ian shut the door and turned to Mickey.

“Look, E, ‘m sorry if…”

The rest of whatever Mickey was going to say was cut off by Ian’s body pressing his against the door and Ian’s lips pressed hard against his.

He was taken by surprise but quickly caught up and moaned at the intense pressure of Ian's mouth against his.

When air became a necessity, Ian pulled back, panting, and said, “You did this so I could have health insurance and not have to worry about affording my meds?”

Mickey shrugged and smiled, “I mean, yeah?”

“Fuck…”

Ian dove in again, this time licking into Mickey’s mouth and tangling their tongues together. Mickey moaned into the kiss and pressed back against Ian.

Mickey pulled back, breathing raggedly as he stared at Ian’s lips, “Fucking hell, Gallagher…”

Ian smirked, “More like fucking hot as hell, Mick.”

They grinned at each other and leaned back in to kiss, less intense this time. Ian pulled back and looked at Mickey as the smile fell from his face. Mickey wrinkled his forehead in confusion, “Wha…,” but Ian cut him off, shaking his head as he smiled at him, “Just when I think there’s no way I can possibly…I’m so in awe of you, Mickey.”

Mickey blushed but couldn’t help but smile at the look of complete love and amazement in Ian’s eyes. He cleared his throat and said, “Did you still wanna, uh, talk…you know, about that decision you’ve gotta make today?”

Ian grinned and said, “Yeah, what d’ya think I should do?”

Mickey smirked at him and snorted, “Call dickhead’s lawyer and drop the charges, then tell him that he can tell said dickhead to take his offer and shove it up his ass and to never fucking contact you again.”

Ian’s smile was bright with love as he said, “Fucking consider it done,” he leaned in to kiss Mickey, “so, about date night…”

Mickey chuckled, “What’d you have in mind, Gallagher?”

Ian’s smile turned predatory as he said, “Tonight, after work, my apartment,” his voice dropped to a husky whisper, “’m not letting you leave my bedroom for the entire fucking weekend.”

Mickey moaned, and Ian caught his lips in a lingering kiss.

Mickey pulled back slightly, “I just have 2 questions: 1. I’m fucking exhausted, man. Can we just sleep tonight?” and 2. Do you have lube this time?”

Ian nodded against his lips, “Yes, and yes…I invested in a large sized bottle that comes with a pump.”

Mickey grinned, “Fuck…that’s hot.”

Ian grinned in response, “Yeah?”

Mickey nodded, “Hell yeah…’m in.”

Chapter Text

The next morning…

“Hmmm…,” this was the most pleasurable way Mickey could remember ever waking up, lips trailing down his neck until they reached…oh fuck yeah…that was the spot…along with a hand that was creeping over his hips to reach for his…ooh, fuck that felt good…and a gorgeously huge cock grinding against his backside.

He moaned at the onslaught of sensations and reached behind him to grab the back of the neck of the person causing all these pleasurable feelings in his body and pulled him forward to kiss him.

“Mmm…,” Ian hummed against him, “was wondering when you’d wake up and join the party.”

“Ooh, so it’s a party now, eh?”

Ian nodded against him and kissed him again, then he removed his hand from where it had been stroking Mickey’s dick so nicely, and Mickey whined at the loss of touch.

Ian rolled his eyes, “Just give me a minute, Mick.”

Mickey heard Ian reach behind him for something, and suddenly, there was a wet, slippery finger pressed against his entrance.

Mickey let out a loud moan, “Ohhhhh…”

“Yeah,” Ian moaned against his ear, “that’s what I was doing.”

Ian breached Mickey’s hole with his finger, and Mickey arched back against Ian’s body, grinding down onto his finger.

Ian prepped Mickey slowly and thoroughly, adding a 2nd finger and then a third. By the time he was done, Mickey was panting and letting out involuntary moans from the back of his throat. Ian reached back for some more lube, and Mickey heard him slicking up his cock behind him. He positioned himself at Mickey’s entrance, then reached up to turn Mickey’s head to the side so he could see him.

“Ready?” Ian breathed against his mouth.

Mickey nodded, but any words he might’ve said were punched out of him as Ian entered him. His jaw dropped open, and his eyes locked on Ian’s in awe of the feeling of finally having him inside of him.

Once Ian was fully seated, he stilled, closed his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Mickey might’ve been amused at his obvious tactics to try and hold his shit together if he hadn’t been doing the same thing.

“Fuck…,” Mickey finally managed to breathe out, and Ian nodded against him.

Finally, Ian seemed to gain control, and he pulled back, then thrust in again. Mickey moaned, then looked at Ian, “Fuck…Fuck me, Ian…”

Ian nodded, “Yeah,” before he pulled back and pushed in with a harder thrust. He kept his thrusts slow and deep, and it was unlike anything Mickey had ever experienced. This wasn’t regular fucking, this was, Mickey realized, what it meant to make love to someone.

That phrase had always seemed so cheesy and stupid to him, but here in Ian’s bedroom, feeling the passion of Ian’s thrusts inside of him, seeing the look of complete love in Ian’s eyes, and feeling Ian’s breath mingle with his…there were no other words to describe it.

Ian sealed the deal when he reached up to cup Mickey’s cheek as he thrust into him again and again and whispered, “I fucking love you, Mickey Milkovich…I love you so goddamn much.”

Mickey closed his eyes as he felt the words spread through his body, and when he opened them, he whispered back, “I fucking love you, too, Ian Gallagher.”

Neither one of them wanted this first time in all of its perfection to end, but when Ian shifted and brushed up against Mickey’s prostate, Mickey knew it was only a matter of time before they finished round 1.

“Holy fuck,” Mickey called out, “shit…right fucking there…oh fuck…”

“Right…ungh…there?” Ian asked, as he continued to thrust against the same spot.

“Yeah…oh fuck…,” Mickey nodded against him.

“Gonna…fuck…gonna cum for me, Mick?”

“Uh-huh,” Mickey whimpered in his throat, “holy fuck…you’re gonna make me cum so hard…”

“Lemme see you,” Ian whispered against his lips, “wanna see how fucking gorgeous you are when you cum around my cock.”

Mickey’s view went white as he felt Ian’s hand stroke his dick in time with his thrusts, and Mickey could feel his impending orgasm. He felt his jaw drop open and pleasure spread through his body as he jerked against Ian’s body.

“OH…oh fuck…ohhh fuck…yeah…fuck…oh jesus…yes…YES…YESSSSSS…UNGH…UNGH…”

The sight and feel of Mickey’s orgasm was enough to send Ian over the edge as he moaned out, “Fuck…yes, baby…feel so fucking good on my cock…fuck…so fucking gorgeous…fuck…I love you, Mickey…love you so…oh fuck…gonna cum…so fucking much…UNGH…UNGH…ungh…”

Mickey distantly felt Ian cum inside of him as he started to come back down from his own orgasm. After Ian finished cumming, he looked down at Mickey and kissed him hard on the mouth. As he pulled back, he started laughing giddily, and Mickey joined in, not knowing what was so funny, “The fuck you laughing at?”

“Jesus!” Ian said, still laughing, “that was fucking amazing.”

Mickey’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and he nodded and murmured, “Yeah, it was.”

Ian leaned down and kissed him again, “How soon do you think you can go for round 2?”

Six and a half months later…

“What time was he supposed to be done with his exam?”

Ian looked at his watch, “Fifteen minutes ago. He should be on his way here now.”

“Was he going to text you when he was done?”

Ian shrugged, “He said he wanted to tell all of us at the same time when he got here.”

“You ready for the…you know…the thing?”

“Fuck…yes, G, I’m ready for the thing.”

“Okay, okay, I just wanted to make sure.”

Ian sighed, “Sorry, Geneva, ‘m just nervous, I guess.”

Geneva sent him a reassuring smile, “He’ll say yes, Ian, I know he will.”

Ian huffed out a nervous breath, “I hope so.”

It was only a few minutes later that they heard the door to the shelter open followed by footsteps down the hall. Ian stepped forward and stood just outside the door to the rec room. Mickey came into view, and Ian tried to read the expression on his face.

“Well?” he asked expectantly.

Mickey’s face broke into a grin, “Fucking aced it, man. I’m officially a fully certified peer support specialist.”

Ian gave him a huge smile and pulled Mickey’s body into his before leaning down to kiss him soundly on the lips, “I fucking knew you would!”

Mickey continued to smile proudly, then he looked at Ian warily, “Why are you out here in the hallway?”

Ian shrugged and tried to look innocent, “I was excited to find out how the certification exam went.”

Mickey shook his head, “Nah, nice try, Gallagher. Why don’t you tell me why you’re really out here?”

Ian sighed, “Everyone knew you were taking the certification exam today,” Mickey groaned, and Ian continued, “and they were so sure you’d pass that…they just wanted to do a little celebration thing for you.”

Mickey looked at Ian like he couldn’t believe it was a little anything, then he sighed and said, “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

Ian stepped to the side and swept his arm out for Mickey to proceed into the rec room. As soon as he walked in, he saw a room full of people, who all yelled, “Surprise! Congratulations, Mickey!!”

Mickey couldn’t help but smile at the excitement and happiness of all the kids at the shelter as they came up to hug him and congratulate him on passing his exam. After the kids dissipated a little, Mary walked up to him and handed him an envelope. He looked at her confused, and she explained, “In there is a letter with your new pay rate on it now that you’re fully certified,” then she said a little more quietly, “there’s also a bonus in there for your help with the health insurance grant.”

Mickey looked at her, “Mary, you didn’t have to do that. ‘m just glad we actually got it, you know?”

Mary nodded and smiled a rare smile at Mickey, “I know, Milkovich, but you deserve it, so just say thank you and promise me you’ll use it for something fun.”

Mickey smiled gently at her, “I promise.”

She squeezed his shoulder and walked away to make the rounds.

Mickey looked around to see if he could see Ian. He’d never admit this, but he really appreciated that all these people were so proud of him for passing his exam. At that point, though, all he wanted was to be with his redhead.

It was about that time that Geneva came over and grabbed his hand, “Come with me, Mickey.”

“What? What the…where are we going?”

Geneva led him to a seat that was in the middle of the room, “Sit here.”

Mickey sat down and said, “Ok, but…” before he could ask why, she was already headed back to the hallway that led to the kitchen and the offices.

Mickey was thoroughly confused, but then some sort of music started.

“Yellow diamonds in the light,” Mickey watched as Ash came out of the hallway singing, “And we’re standing side by side…”

“As your shadow crosses mine,” next out of the hallway was Geneva, “what it takes to come alive…”

What followed next was all the kids at the shelter who came out of the hallway as they sang, “It’s the way I’m feeling, I just can’t deny, but I’ve gotta let it go…”

And they all made a large semi-circle in front of Mickey as they sang, “We found love in a hopeful place. We found love in a hopeful place. We found love in a hopeful place. We found love in a hopeful place.”

During the last 2 lines, Mickey watched as a space opened up in the semi-circle, and Ian walked through. He was carrying something in his hand, and for a second, Mickey panicked. Surely, this wasn’t…surely, he wouldn’t…not after they’d talked about hugely public displays of…Mickey tried to keep his breathing under control and focus on what was getting ready to happen next.

The music continued at a softer volume around them as Ian came to a stop in front of him, “Mickey Milkovich, about a year ago, you stepped foot through the front doors of this shelter and turned my life upside down. There have been some ups and downs, but I’ve never been so happy or felt more loved in all my life. You amaze me every single day.”

Mickey took a break from his feelings of panic to melt a little at Ian’s speech. Maybe this wasn’t how he’d envisioned being proposed to, but he could still appreciate the words of love Ian was spouting out.

Ian continued, “We did find love in this Hopeful Place, and well, I was wondering if you’d…if you’d maybe want to,” he opened his hand to reveal a keycard, “move in with me?”

Mickey was so shocked by the question not being what he expected it to be that it took him a moment to process the words. In those beats of silence, Ian started second guessing everything he’d done, then Mickey seemed to come back online.

“I…yes…hell, yes, I’ll live with you, Gallagher.”

Ian breathed a huge sigh of relief as Mickey stood up and grabbed the key card from him as he leaned up to kiss him. The room erupted in applause and whistles, and Ian and Mickey grinned against each other’s mouths.

They pulled back from the kiss, and Mickey reached up to pat the side of Ian’s face, “You cheesy motherfucker…you planned all that with the kids and the song?”

Ian shrugged and grinned, “Yeah?”

Mickey shook his head and laughed, then said, “For a moment, you know, I was scared that…”

Ian looked at him with a serious look in his eyes, “No, not after what we talked about. I know that’s not what you would want, and I wouldn’t do that to you, Mickey.”

Mickey’s gaze softened as he leaned in to kiss Ian again, and he whispered, “Love you.”

And Ian responded, “Love you, too.”

They went and got food from the tables that were set up like a buffet and found a place to sit on the side of the room as the music continued. They watched the kids laugh and dance around and laughed as they watched them even get Mary to dance with them.

After they finished eating, they sat together, and Ian put his arm around Mickey’s shoulder as they enjoyed the energy around them.

“You know,” Mickey spoke up, “I was just thinking…”

Ian turned his head to look at him, “Oh yeah? What were you just thinking?”

Mickey licked his lips and looked away from Ian, “I don’t think we should live together.”

Ian felt his heart drop out of his chest as Mickey’s statement punched the air from his lungs.

“You…you don’t?” Ian asked quietly.

Mickey slowly lifted his eyes back to Ian’s, “I think we should get married.”

Ian’s eyes flew wide open at Mickey’s statement, “You what?”

Mickey grinned and shrugged, “I think we should get married.”

Happy tears filled Ian’s eyes, “You know that getting married means we’d be living together.”

Mickey laughed, “’s that a yes?”

Ian huffed out a wet but happy laugh, “You fucking proposing to me on the side of the fucking rec room?”

Mickey chuckled and shrugged, “I guess I am. So, what d’ya say, Gallagher?”

Ian’s smile was almost blinding as he leaned in to kiss Mickey, “’m in, Milkovich. ‘m all in. Of course I'll fucking marry you.”

Six months later, they stood in front of friends, family, and the kids from the shelter. Ash officiated the wedding, D’mitri and Mandy stood next to Mickey, and Lip and Geneva stood by Ian.

I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian…

I, Ian, take you, Mickey…

To be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish you til death do us part.