Chapter Text
Author's notes: Here are some random LOTR jokes. Please comment and enjoy!
What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
He began to feel Merry
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What did Pippin say when he first came to Fangorn?
"May I ENT-er?"
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During The Last Alliance of Elves and Men, an elf was captured by an orc. He was injured very badly, and his arm needed to be amputated.
He asked the orc, "Could you send my arm to Mirkwood?"
The orc said he would.
The next day the elf's other arm had to be amputated, and he asked if it could be sent to Mirkwood, too.The orc agreed.
Then the elf's leg had to be amputated, and he asked the same thing. The orc agreed to that as well.
But when the elf's other leg had to be amputated, and he asked thing same to be done with it, the orc got fed up.
"Now hold on," the orc said, "You're trying to escape, aren't you?"
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And the minstrel exclaimed:
-Listen, peoples of Arda! Listen to the ballade about Frodo of the Nine Fingers,Sauron the Red-Eyed, Samwise the Brainless, and other invalids of the Third Age...
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Gandalf was lighting his pipe in the burial chamber of Balin:
"Naur an edraith ammen! Naur... oh, shoot. Summoned the Balrog...Run!"
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One day a spell was cast on Aragorn's wife that created a mirror image of her. This mirror image was a spy for Sauron and the Fellowship had to find her and stop her. When Frodo came upon her, he whispered to Sam, "Is that Arwen or Their-wen?"
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One night two trolls were sitting by a fire dining on a fresh kill. As they pulled the meat out of the fire, one of the bones barely had any meat on it at all. One of the trolls plucked the bone out and started picking his teeth with it. The other Troll shook his head and said, "Stop that, it's a bad hobbit."
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What did the hobbit say when he couldn't find his walking stick?
Hey! Where's my walking stick?!
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What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?
Nobody knows, no one has seen either one.
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What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?
"That's ENT-tertainment!"
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What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?
"It must be Christmas time."
What did Frodo say when he saw the dwarves dancing?
"Why the hell is everyone dancing!"
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What's the difference between Arwen and Morwen?
No, seriously, I'm asking.
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Person one: Knock knock!
Person two: Whose there?
Person one: Hobbit!
Person two: Hobbit who?
Person one: Hobbit you let me in?
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When Peter Jackson went up to get his Oscar he took it in his hands and said "My precioussss."
Then Elijah Wood ran up and snatched it away shouting- "I will take it!" Then Mr. Jackson snatched it back saying- "It's mine I found it it came to me."
Another producer steps forward-
"There's no need to get angry."
And Elijah buts in "What do you know about it?"
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The 4 hobbits go up to a store and look at a sign. They go away, depressed. Why? The sign says,"no shirt, no shoes, no service."
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Legolas: Hey, Gimli!
Gimli: What do ya want, Elf?
Legolas: Knock Knock
Gimli: Fine, Who's there?
Legolas: Toss
Gimli: This had better not be what I think it is (muttering), Toss Who?
Legolas: Toss You!
Gimli: Why, I oughtta...!
Legolas: Uh... BYE!!!
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An Elf walked into a bar. The Dwarf laughed and walked under it."
You know you loved them! Comment. Next chapter: Puns!