Chapter Text
Sometimes he felt like screaming. He wanted to shake something. He wanted to tell his father exactly how stressed he was from the constant, non-stop tasks. Sometimes he didn't just feel like doing that, sometimes he did do that.
Today was one of those days. He told his father he needed a break, he needed to have more free time. He tried to explain that free time would make him happier. He threatened to quit modeling, trying to give his father an ultimatum. He yelled at his father. Loudly. He'd pushed a ceramic plate from the table where he often sat alone for meals, leaving the broken pieces for their kind maid, Shelia, to clean up.
His father, in turn, told him this was just proof that he couldn't handle his own schedule, that he wasn't mature enough to manage responsibilities yet.
"You are flailing around like a child throwing a tantrum. I cannot speak to someone like this," his father said and walked out of the room. No solution. No compromise. No words. Nothing.
Adrien gripped the edge of his bathroom sink, head bowed, urging himself to stay calm. It would get better.
It will get better.
He replayed the sentence in his head for years now. If he just did what he needed to do, it would get better. If he followed the schedule, if he obeyed the rules, it would be better.
He knew that trying to force his father to listen wasn't the way. Gabriel decided to do what Gabriel wanted, when Gabriel wanted to. Adrien knew his words would fall on deaf ears. What had he been thinking?
He knew that it would get better eventually, whenever his father decided to make it better.
He could even remember the times over the past four years that it had gotten better. Because it was better sometimes, wasn't it?
His mother left when he was twelve. He spent the first year home schooled and hidden. That was a difficult year of solitude that Adrien didn't like to remember.
But then his father had agreed to let him go to school!! The greatest gift he had ever gotten... friends and freedom! He wasn't alone anymore, and he wasn’t stuck in his house.
It was only natural that the schedule started. Yes, he was able to make friends. And yes, he could keep the friends. All he needed to do was follow the schedule.
It was good. Wasn't it? So what if he had only an average of 4.7 hours to himself over the course of one week? It was a gift: wasn't it? Weren't the lessons, the tournaments, the photo shoots, and extra classes all better than being stuck in the house alone?
School was the gift, and the schedule was how he earned it.
It was good. Things were better. He just had to follow the schedule, even if it got stressful at times. He learned quickly that to complain meant to be threatened to be taken out of school. He learned to not complain... and so he didn't.
A couple years ago, as a reward for doing what he was told, his father had allowed him to go to New York with all of his friends. It had been a dream come true, the best gift he had ever received from his father. A gift that he earned. Some of the best memories he had were made in New York and he learned so much about himself, his miraculous, his lady, and even made new friends for life.
He should be grateful he even got the chance to go. It didn't matter that for the six months after the trip his schedule became even more strict, limiting his free time to 2.3 hours per week. Yes, he saw his friends even less after that, but his father had allowed him to go to New York! He followed the rules and it had paid off.
There were other times, too, that validated he was doing a good job. Special days where his father would join him for dinner. Once, two years ago, his father had even taken him on a tour of Gabriel and allowed him to shadow him at work. Adrien had to go to the office occasionally for photo shoots but for the most part the headquarters were off limits to him. His father’s passion for his work was unmatched, and it was a treat for Adrien to have the opportunity to not only learn about the business, but spend the entire day with his father while doing it.
Another time Adrien was even able to go with his father to Milan and attend one of the largest designer meetups in the world. Although his father traveled often, Adrien had never been able to join before that. It was a first for him, and his father even told him that as long as he continued working hard he would be able to go on the next trip. While Adrien’s heart wasn’t completely in the fashion world, he loved to see his father working to keep the company he and his mother cultivated together.
He knew that it would get better. It always did, eventually. He just had to follow the schedule for a few more days, a few more weeks, and he knew his father would be grateful one day in the near future. He always was. That's how it went. He looked forward to those good days – they proved that he was doing a good job.
Adrien took one last breath and stood taller, releasing the tight grip he had on the sink. He was overreacting, as always. The urge to apologize washed over him as he shook his frustration away. He was being a terrible son. He loved his father and his father loved him. Yes, his father could be a little controlling at times but it really wasn't that bad. His father was great in many other ways.
Adrien felt a wave of guilt for the broken pieces of ceramic left on the tile in the dining room. He created a mess when throwing a childish tantrum, just like his father said. He caused more work for Shelia in the process because of his over reaction. He needed to apologize to her, too.
Adrien didn't mind fencing, or learning Chinese, and he enjoyed taking piano lessons. The schedule was fine. It was all worth it. Adrien was overreacting, as usual. Since he didn't really mind the lessons, he didn't need to complain about it. If it made his father happy, then he knew he would be happier too. It was better to just do whatever he needed to keep his father calm, because really it made his life easier too.
Adrien walked out of the bathroom and continued his homework, clicking away on his computer as if nothing bothered him at all.