Chapter Text
the seven
percy, annabeth, jason, leo, frank, hazel, piper
percy: do u think that animals secretly have the capacity to talk to humans but just choose not to
piper: no
piper: go to bed percy !
percy: but like
percy: what if mrs o’leary just talked to me one day
percy: how cool would that b?
piper: IT'S 3AM SLEEEEEP
leo: they could totally invet some device too let pets talk
leo: like the dogs in up
percy: YESSSS
annabeth: But wouldn’t talking animals descend the world into panic & chaos
annabeth: Like if Mrs o’leary could talk & make rational decisions like a human then you’d have to treat her as such and that would get weird
percy: don’t do the logic that’s for losers
annabeth: Fuck you
piper: WHY ARE WE ALL AWAKE GUYS WE HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW
piper renamed the conversation “EVERYONE GO TO BED”
leo: lol who needs sleep
leo: sleep is for the week
piper: me !!! i need my beauty rest !!!
piper: do you think i am just naturally this beautiful ?
piper: no hoes i get sleep
leo: you are the week
annabeth: Weak?
leo: piper you are the *weak
piper: i actually hate you guys goodnight
50 shades of slay
piper, annabeth, reyna, thalia, hazel
hazel: anyone want to grab coffee this morning before class?
reyna: I have a student gov meeting :(
piper: it’s so cute how reyna uses those dorky semicolon parentheses frowny faces instead of emojis
reyna: It’s literally not? I don’t have emojis
piper: that’s bc you have a fucking flip phone from like 2005
reyna: iPhones cost more money than I’m willing to spend. Besides, smart phones irreversibly fuck up your brain.
annabeth: I’ll get coffee hazel you know I won’t make it through first period without it
piper: same apush is a bitch
annabeth: Fr it’s september and I’m already dying
hazel: thalia?
annabeth: Bold of you to assume thalia’s up
thalia: fuck you annabeth i would love some caffeine
annabeth: This is a first
annabeth: You usually don’t even roll out of bed before nine on a good day
thalia: mr d said he’s going to have to rat my ass out to the magistrate if i get another tardy this month so here we are
thalia: i had to wake up at 6 this morning and wanted to die
hazel: well, we’re proud of you for taking the steps to correct your sleep schedule
thalia: lmfao
thalia: it’s adorable that you think i actually have a sleep schedule
not a lot going on atm
annabeth, piper
piper: LOOK AT THE BARISTA
piper: IS SHE A SENIOR HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE SO PRETTY ASHDKDJALDHDDKSLSHSALAOALA
annabeth: Omg i would literally let her murder me
annabeth: I don’t recognize her though i would remember someone that stunning
piper: my hands are shaking how am i supposed to talk to her without shitting myself
annabeth: Please don’t shit yourself then neither of us will have a chance with Pretty Barista
piper: oh god we’re next
annabeth: Stop making that face you actually do look like you have diarrhea
piper: no no no i want to look cute not like i’m about to poop
annabeth: Then stop scrunching your cheeks and smile
annabeth: And when you go to order don’t order your usual drink
annabeth: It makes you sound like a pretentious coffee hipster
piper: a triple venti, half-sweet, nonfat caramel macchiato isn’t even that complicated
annabeth: You’re proving your own point
piper: fine i’ll get an iced mocha with whipped cream
the only ones with brain cells
reyna, annabeth
reyna: Why is Piper smiling so big?
reyna: Her order literally got messed up.
annabeth: The barista drew a smiley face on her cup
reyna: Understandable.
reyna: She was gorgeous.
annabeth: You’re ace? ?
reyna: That doesn’t mean I’m blind.
annabeth: Ok you know what, if pipes doesn’t ask the barista for her number i will
reyna: I hate to discourage you, but what if she’s straight?
annabeth: Please
annabeth: She had a septum piercing and a button down shirt
annabeth: If that’s doesn't scream homosexual i don’t know what does
all da ladies luv us
piper, leo
leo: can i have sum of ur coffee
piper: no
leo: please
leo: pretty please
leo: with cherrys and sprinkles and nuts on top
piper: no
leo: pipes im not going to make it with out it
piper: you’ll live
leo: i will dieeeeeee
piper: i’ll make sure they play despacito and the gravity falls theme at your funeral then
leo: fuck u
leo: if they play despacito ill rise from the dead to kill u
EVERYONE GO TO BED
percy, annabeth, jason, leo, frank, hazel, piper
frank: i am sorry to report that Leo had another incident at football practice
leo: chill its only a broken nose
leo: i was trying to kick field goal but acidenttally kicked my face
leo: there was a shitton of blood but the doc bandaged me up and said ill be ok
percy: oof that sounds rough
piper: why did coach hedge even let you on the team ???
jason: lmao hedge said something about “potential he wished others had seen in him”
jason: then proceeded to make Leo the backup kicker
percy: isn’t this like leo’s third injury this season?
leo: if you count the buiruse on my ass, then its 4
annabeth: What is a buiruse
annabeth: Did you mean bruise
leo: whatever
leo: my beuatiful face wont ever be the same
piper: oh not your face what a shame
piper: and so much for you finally getting to play a game tomorrow
jason: do you mean so much for him finally getting to keep the bench warm
jason: because the odds of leo playing are next to zero
percy: actually they’re probably even lower since he’s always landing himself in the fuckin hospital
hazel: at least today wasn’t a concussion
hazel: the temporary amnesia after he got knocked out was funny but also very scary
annabeth: Remember how he kept asking jason if he was his dad
leo: NOT funny
frank: you guys didn’t see leo when he was all doped up on pain meds in the hospital
frank: he started crying because his pudding was vanilla instead of chocolate
frank: then tried to smear it all over his face because he thought it would be a good shaving cream
piper: lmaoooooo
leo: u all are so fvckking mean and i hate it
annabeth: *fucking
leo: duck yoi beth nobdoy asked 4 u 2 b a waking taking dicktinary
annabeth: …I don’t even know where to start with that one