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He sensed trouble the moment little Lestrange came sidling up to him, and he narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, boy?"
The lunatic in miniature grinned. "May I give you a kiss, Mr. Filch? "
Argus went abruptly pale, wondering if the boy had somehow found his magazines. "No. No!"
Rodolphus pouted. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?"
Argus paused, then leaned down and hissed: "Snitch, and I'll feed you to the crows."
The boy smiled beatifically, leaning in. Argus's eyes flew open precisely two seconds later.
Good lord. Give the little bastards an inch...
...and they'd slip you the tongue.