Chapter Text
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 7.30 am
Incessant knocking wakes James up from the deepest of sleeps.
‘Wha-?’ he manages to croak out, his mouth dry and pasty.
His eyes are not cooperating, barely staying open for longer than a second. Not that it matters – he is as good as blind without his glasses anyway.
‘Dr. Potter, I’m sorry to bother you, but you asked to be woken up for your rounds.’
‘Yeah - yes, thank you, Alice.’
James is pretty proud to have recognized Alice by voice alone when he feels like a zombie who has been run over by a bus. He blindly paws around for his glasses, hitting a bottle of water in the process and almost falling off the tiny, uncomfortable bed of the on-call room.
Ten minutes later he’s washed his face, brushed his teeth, run his hands through his hair in an effort to look presentable. He’s wearing Paediatrics’ distinctive mauve scrubs, a color that looks truly awful on him but that just so happens to flatter his attending, also known as the monster who picked their new uniform.
Speak of the devil, Narcissa Malfoy is waiting for him in front of the Paediatric wing. She looks impeccable: pale blond hair in a French twist, perfectly applied lipstick and elegant pearl earrings. When she spots James, she gives him a once over and raises a judgmental eyebrow at him.
‘As much as children like you, Potter, we’re also trying to show they parents that we’re reliable people before we operate on their kids,’ she tells him as she hands a few patient charts to him.
‘Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry. I promise I’ll be devastatingly charming to make up for my dishevelled looks,’ James replies. He would have bit back, once upon a time, but he has learned a few things during his two years of working under Dr She-Malfoy:
- Although she comes across as cold and haughty, she deeply cares for her patients.
- She is incredibly good at her job.
- She somehow really loves Dr He-Malfoy.
- She actually really likes James, but would sooner be found dead than admit it.
The last one had been a revelation. In his last year as an intern, James had realized that his future was in Paeds. He had subsequentially realized that, even if Dr Dearborn was the Head of Paediatrics, it was really Narcissa that he had to impress, as he would have been working directly under her for the foreseeable future.
They had most definitely not started on the right foot: where Narcissa Malfoy was calculated and analytical, James tended to be spontaneous and imaginative. His first few months at her service had been a complete nightmare, full of disagreements and animosity. He couldn’t even begin to count the amount times that she had looked like she was ready to murder him in cold blood, which was why he’d been shocked when, at the end of his final year of internship, Dr Dearborn had chosen him for the fellowship and told him that he’d better thank She-Malfoy for her stellar letter of recommendation.
On his first day as a fellow, almost two years ago, she had welcomed him with a clipped: ‘Don’t make me regret it, Potter’. They’d been a great team ever since.
‘I thought you were supposed to have the night off,’ Narcissa told him, quickly flipping through a chart, clearly searching for something.
‘I did, but Dr Weasley asked for a favour. Charlie, his youngest, was brought in yesterday evening with severe abdominal pain. Weasley wanted me to do the surgery and obviously I wasn’t going to say no to that, so.’
‘Well, that was nice of you. I hope you got some sleep, though, because I need you awake for this,’ Narcissa says, finally finding what she’d been searching for in the chart.
James leans in to take a look, eyes scanning the paper for the main details regarding Zoya Gupta, 12, F. Room 18.
‘… and we don’t know what’s causing the seizures?’
‘All the tests she did in the past few years have been inconclusive. She was brought to the ER yesterday after being hit by a car. She seized in the middle of the street, the driver managed to slow down enough that she came out unscathed, but I figured since she was here, we may take advantage and run some tests, see if we spot something that’s been missed before.’
‘Sounds good. Should we do rounds first and meet in 18 in half an hour? Vance and Baby Black are with me today and they’re supposed to be here any minute to present the cases,’ James tells her, checking his clock.
‘Alright. Don’t be late, I told her parents we would be there soon. You can bring the interns too, God knows they need the experience. I’ve never seen a more depressing group, I honestly wonder how any of them graduated,’ Narcissa replies, looking adequately disgusted.
‘You say that every year. You said that about me, and yet here we are, saving young, innocent lives, allowing children to become the leaders of the future, tirelessly doin–‘
‘Please do shut up. I’m embarrassed enough as it is. I’ll see you in Room 18.’
‘Sure thing, boss.’
James sends her a wink for good measure, and as he hoped She-Malfoy looks appropriately annoyed.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 8.47 am
‘Please tell me there’s coffee,’ James whines the second he enters the break room.
‘There’s coffee,’ Remus replies from the couch where he’s nestled with the American Journal of Liver Transplantation.
‘Thank God, I’m about to pass out. She-Malfoy took pity on me and told me to rest until we get labs back for this girl with seizures.’
He walks to the coffee pot, saying hi to Amelia and Benjy, who are chatting on the other couch as they both drink their coffee, and stepping over Gilderoy’s legs while he sleeps the armchair.
All of them are wearing dark blue scrubs, because none of them have attendings who picked mauve instead. Dr Tonks did choose salmon for Gynaecology though, which clashes painfully with Lily’s red hair. Ha.
‘I thought you were off last night,’ Remus tells him, putting the book down to keep him company.
‘I was supposed to, yeah, but Weasley’s kid was brought in with appendicitis and he asked me to be the one to operate,’ James explains.
‘Is he okay?’
‘Yeah, the surgery went great. He’ll be out of here in no time.’
‘That’s good, also because I think Molly’s due any day now, with the twins,’ Remus says. ‘It can’t have been good for her to have a scare like that.’
‘Oh, they’ve scheduled a caesarean already. She’s coming in on Friday. Lily told me,’ James informs him sitting on the counter as he finally drinks his coffee.
Remus starts saying something, but he’s interrupted by Dorcas and Marlene storming in, and talking over each other for a good ten seconds before Remus stops them.
All James caught were the words ‘insane’ and ‘Sirius’ which, admittedly, were often used together.
‘I have no idea what you just said,’ Amelia tells them.
‘What do you mean?’ Benjy asks, acting scandalized. ‘It was so clear! Sirius is insane and he wore his leather jacket while he insanely did something insane and leather jacket-y. Oh and apparently someone will be “so mad”, but it was really insane so he can’t be “that mad”, right?’
‘Right!’ Dorcas quips, squeezing between him and Amelia.
‘So? Tell us what Sirius did,’ demands James, interested inevitably piqued as always when it comes to his closest friend.
‘Well, if you must know,’ Marlene starts, ‘we had a patient with multiple gunshot wounds, mostly superficial except for the one in the left fifth intercostal space, which was a single entrance. Moody was in surgery so we paged Shacklebolt, but the patient was crashing really fast and it looked we were going to lose him, but –‘
‘…But in waltz Sirius, still wearing his leather jacket and all. He has Alice put him in gloves and paper scrubs and ten seconds later he’s cracking this guy’s chest open –‘
‘- he did an emergency thoracotomy right there and now they’re operating, and it looks like the patient may make it.’
‘Shacklebolt got there like a minute later and he did not look happy with Sirius, as always.’
‘I’m pretty sure I heard the word “reckless” about fifty times, but even he had to admit it might have been too late if he’d waited, so…’
‘He’s in the OR with Sirius now, it’s shaping up to be a pretty complicated surgery,’ Dorcas finishes, looking extremely pleased with herself.
Everyone is quiet for a long second, processing the information.
‘Fuck me,’ Benjy sighs eventually. ‘How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that?’
‘There, there’, Amelia says, patting his knee with a sympathetic grimace.
‘It’s not like you’re competing anymore,’ Marlene adds with a shrug. ‘You’re both Cardio fellows, you can rest easy.’
‘Plus,’ Dorcas adds, thoughtfully, ‘Shacklebolt might actually stab him with the scalpel one of these days.’
‘He would never do that to you, Benjy’ Remus assures, somehow managing to look deadly serious.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 12.55pm
‘What was I supposed to do, let the bloke die?’ Sirius complains, as he dramatically takes a bite out of the apple he’s holding.
He, Remus, Lily, Marlene and James are in the cafeteria, occupying their usual table.
‘I think he’s just worried that this will feed into your god complex,’ Lily tells him, sipping soda from a Styrofoam cup.
‘Well, he needs to get over it already. He would have done the same exact thing if he’d gotten there before me,’ Sirius insists. He’s out of surgery. According to him, it had been a resounding success, but Shacklebolt had spent most of it reprimanding him for doing something so risky.
‘He’s your attending, Sirius. They’re supposed to keep us in check,’ Remus points out, placatingly.
‘We’re second year fellows, not babies,’ Sirius shoots back petulantly, before biting the apple again. Somehow, despite his stressful morning, he looks as effortlessly flawless as ever, James thinks, with dark hair framing his elegant features, grey eyes alight and full mouth always looking one second away from a smirk.
‘Speaking of babies,’ Marlene interjects. ‘Why are the interns so useless? Today Diggle was about to tell a patient she was dying because he misinterpreted her labs. I mean, seriously!’
‘Baby Black and Vane aren’t so bad,’ James reasons. ‘I had them today and they did fine. Diggle is completely useless, yeah, and Crouch kinda freaks me out.’
Sirius snorts. ‘Reggie says he is alright once you get to know him,” he says.
‘I think he’s gunning for General,’ Remus grimaces.
‘Vane told me she’s interested in Gyno. It would actually be nice to have her,’ Lily says, shooting a look towards their interns a few tables over.
‘Not if I can convince her to come to Paeds instead,’ James tells her, stealing one of her baby carrots.
‘Not a chance. She already told Andromeda she wants to start doing more ours with us next year so she can apply for the fellowship,’ Lily replies, looking smug.
‘Does Baby Black know what he’s gonna do yet?’ Marlene asks Sirius, carelessly hitting his sore spot.
‘Well, what do you think?’ he snaps.
Sirius comes from a family of doctors. Both of his parents were Neurosurgeons, and they didn’t take his choice to specialize in Cardio particularly well – not that their relationship was positive before that. They are barely on speaking terms these days, and the few conversations they have quickly turn into cold, but vicious arguments over Sirius choosing to ruin their legacy.
‘Well, it’s a pity if he does choose Neuro,’ Marlene continues, ignoring Sirius’ annoyance. ‘He’d make a good General Surgeon. Way better than bloody Crouch. Also, does he really want to spend years with Snape as his attending?’
‘Yikes,’ James concurs around a bite of hamburger.
‘Come on, Marls. Severus is great at what he does,’ Lily admonishes her.
‘Oh he is good, but as a teacher? I’d pay to see his reviews.’
‘Well, they can’t have been as bad as Lockhart’s,’ Remus muses. ‘Vane told me he had them answer questions about his own successful surgeries and take pop-quizzes on the articles he published.’
‘Jesus,’ Sirius comments, shaking his head. ‘I’m surprised he doesn’t model his patients’ faces after his own.’
They all laugh at that, before Marlene and Sirius’ pagers go off at the same time, prompting them to hastily leave the table.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 15.14pm
‘…all his parameters are normal and he seems to be recovering very well post-surgery.’
‘Thank you, Dr Vance. So, Baby Weasley! I hear you’re being the perfect patient today, is that right?’
James takes a step closer to the tiny redhead and nods conspiratorially. Charlie immediately nods in return, holding a stuffed dragon to his chest.
‘Brilliant!’ James holds out his hand and Charlie only hesitates for a second before high-fiveing him, putting a surprising amount of force in it considering he had surgery some fifteen hours ago.
‘Does this mean I can go home now?’ the kid asks, hopeful. The rooms in Paeds are nicer than the rest, the walls a warm yellow and toys available for the young patients to play with. Still, the first thing that they all want to do is go home, somethings James cannot help but sympathize with.
‘Baby Weasley!’ he exclaims, placing a hand on his chest and putting on a sad face. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to spend more time here with me and Dr Vance? I thought we were friends!’ he wails, making Emmeline giggle.
Charlie looks taken aback for a second, before he frowns. ‘You’re my dad’s friend and you’re old. Can I go home soon, please?’
Emmeline is cackling loudly now, and James is actually trying not to feel little offended at being called old at thirty-two.
‘Now, now, I don’t appreciate you calling me old, Baby Weasley. But! You have been a very brave, very well-behaved patient today. I’ll tell you what: I’ll come back to check on you first thing tomorrow morning, and if everything looks as great as it did today, you’re free to go!’
‘But I don’t wanna go tomorrow, I wanna go now,’ Charlie insists.
‘I know you want to go home fast, Charlie, but –‘
The door opens with a slam. Mary, his favourite scrub nurse, looks distressed as she pants out: ‘Dr Black needs you in Room 18, the patient’s seizing again!’
‘Keep Baby Weasley company, Dr Vance!’ James yells, rushing out of the room. ‘Did Sirius give her oxygen?’ he asks Mary while they’re running down the corridor.
‘Not that Dr Black,’ Mary huffs, trying to keep up with his longer legs.
Worried, James sprints faster, but when he reaches Room 18 he finds Regulus with an already conscious Zoya, checking the monitor and scribbling furiously on her chart while one of the younger interns calms the girl down.
‘Dr Black, what are her parameters? James asks, leaving Mary to help the intern take care of a teary-eyed Zoya.
Regulus updates him quickly, showing James the updated chart.
‘Hm. Her labs came out fine this morning. She’s been treated like a case of epilepsy in the past few years, so I guess we should –‘
‘It’s not epilepsy,’ Regulus cuts him short, displaying unusual vehemence.
James stares him down for a long moment, but Regulus does an impressive imitation of Sirius and stands his ground. Satisfied, James says: ‘Okay, I’m listening. Why do you think it’s not epilepsy?’
Regulus looks visibly relieved.
‘I was in the room when she seized, and I happened to be looking at the monitor. She crashed before she started seizing, not after,’ he explains, gaining back his regular collected look, with the exception of his hair. He has the same dark, wavy locks as Sirius, but his are cut shorter and are usually styled more neatly – at the moment, though, he looks like he went for a ride on his brother’s bike and forgot the helmet.
‘Are you sure, Dr Black? The patient has no heart history, something like what you’re suggesting should have been picked up on ages ago’ James says, silently starting to consider the option.
‘Her heart went into Vfib before the seizure, not during it. I’m absolutely certain,’ Regulus insists.
‘Okay. Let’s say you’re right - what would you suggest, then?’
‘I think we should do a cardiac workup with an EP study.’
James is quiet for a long moment, considering.
‘Page your brother. And Dr Malfoy. I need to speak to both of them before telling her family she might have been misdiagnosed for years.’
Regulus nods, already taking out his pager and rushing out of the room.
‘I’m going to need another coffee,’ James sighs, to no one in particular.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 16.22pm
‘And you want to shock a perfectly healthy child’s heart? Absolutely not. There is nothing that suggests what you think you saw is a possibility,’ Narcissa scoffs, coldly.
They’re in her office – James, Sirius and Regulus. Considering that Narcissa is a distant relative of the Blacks, James is now surrounded by three people with equally haughty looks and attitudes. He’s both scared and entertained.
‘I saw it, Dr Malfoy. And it would explain the fact that her epilepsy meds seem to have no effect. She said she’s been seizing almost every day lately!’
‘This procedure is completely out of question.’
‘If Regulus is right, I suspect it might be ARVC,’ Sirius interjects, straightening up from where he was leaning against the wall and ignoring her denial. ‘If her seizing led to an epilepsy diagnosis, it’s likely that she’s never had a full set of cardiac tests, especially if she has no family history, and with how young she is.’
‘There is no evidence that supports something as invasive as an EP study, Dr Black,’ Narcissa says, coldly.
Sirius arches an eyebrow; it’s the first sign that he’s ready for battle, but James swiftly redirects both his and Narcissa’s attention to himself.
‘Actually,’ he starts, snapping his fingers and forming a theory as he speaks. ‘When we visited her early this morning, didn’t Zoya mention that she’s been picked for her school’s girls football team? She was afraid that we’d tell her to stop playing.’
She-Malfoy doesn’t say anything, but it’s clear that she remembers and is coming to the same conclusion as James.
Sirius has turned towards him with a grin, and Regulus seems to be vibrating with anticipation, so James continues: ‘An otherwise healthy patient with epilepsy should not encounter any problems when practicing sports, especially if they are being treated. But in Zoya’s case…’
‘The meds wouldn’t work if she doesn’t have epilepsy, and suddenly doing more intense physical activity could have worsened her cardiomyopathy,’ Sirius finishes. ‘Of course, that’s only if she doesn’t have a perfectly healthy heart, Dr Malfoy,’ he adds, bitchily, scoring an icy stare from his second-cousin.
‘I think we should at least give her parents the option,’ James tells Narcissa. ‘It’s up to them to decide if an EP study is too invasive, but when you told me about the case this morning you also didn’t think it was epilepsy, or you wouldn’t have asked for more labs,’ he reminds her, trying to sound as neutral as possible even if he thinks Sirius’ hypothesis is most likely the right one.
Narcissa takes one more moment to think before she abruptly stands up, her regal posture only serving to emphasize her displeasure.
‘Fine,’ she says, tone clipped. ‘But if they agree and we put her through a risky procedure because a resident thinks he saw something on her monitor and we were wrong, both of you will be responsible for explaining to them why we thought of ARVC in the first place,’ she tells James and Sirius. ‘Potter, come with me. We’re talking to them right away.’
James hastens to follow her, clapping Regulus on the shoulder with a: ‘nice catch, Baby Black’ and winking at Sirius before the door closes behind him.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 18.51pm
‘Jamie, you’ve been up for what – forty hours? You need to go home and sleep. I’ll be back in a few hours and I’ll tell you how it went.’
James is laying on one of the couches in the break room, fighting to keep his eyes open. His head is on Sirius’ lap, something none of their friends and colleagues even seem to notice at this point, while Sirius is holding a book and checking a few things for Zoya’s EP study and potential pacemaker insertion.
‘Sirius is right,’ Marlene says. She, Dorcas and Lily are all done with their shift and seem intent on going to Romilda’s for a drink before heading back to the flat they share. ‘You were supposed to be off twenty-four hours ago, there’s no way they’re letting you anywhere near an OR.’
‘Plus, you need a shower,’ Lily adds, wrinkling her nose.
‘Ouch,’ James mutters, but even he has to admit it sounds more sleepy than annoyed at this point. ‘I wasn’t planning on being in the OR. Sirius and She-Malfoy don’t need me for this, anyway, and I think Podmore is also supervising. I just want to be here if something happens.’
‘That’s sweet,’ Marlene says, putting on her coat. ‘And kind of stupid. But very sweet.’
‘Sounds about right,’ Lily comments. It’s clearly meant as a friendly jab, there’s fondness in her tone, but it’s also a reminder of one of the many reasons why they broke up during their last year of residency - James being a little too obsessed with his job, getting too invested in his patients and pulling insane hours too often. Every single one of their friends and peers seemed to agree with her – everyone except Sirius, who had scoffed and looked extremely disdainful as he’d said: ‘We’re surgeons. We’re meant to be obsessed with saving our patients, or we’d pick plastics and work for He-Malfoy’.
And yeah, maybe there’s a reason he and Sirius have been inseparable since they met during Freshers Week at Cambridge.
‘I’m being serious. You need to sleep,’ Sirius says, letting one elegant hand drop to James’ head while his eyes stay focused on the book.
‘I’ll sleep in here,’ he promises, his eyes already closing at the feeling of Sirius’ dexterous fingers gently running through his hair. ‘I just want to be nearby, just-‘
‘…just in case,’ Sirius finishes, and James can tell even without opening his eyes that he’s smiling. He and Sirius have very different personalities, but there’s nobody who makes James feel as seen as he does.
‘Yeah,’ he mumbles, seconds away from falling asleep. ‘Just in case’.
James thinks he hears Marlene say ‘co-dependent nightmare’, and he definitely recognizes Lily’s laughter – and then he’s out like a light.
Tuesday, October 23rd 2003, 23.46pm
‘Dr Potter? Uh… Dr Potter? I’m really sorry to bother you, uhm. Are you… are you awake?’
James regain consciousness slowly, his body feeling like it could sleep another twelve hours or so, and when he finally opens his eyes it takes him a second to reorient and remember where he is.
Right. The break room couch. That’s why his back is killing him.
Dr Diggle, his least favourite intern, is looking at him with round, hesitant blue eyes as he almost hides under a patient chart.
‘Awake,’ James croaks, sitting upright and noticing that someone had been thoughtful enough to place a blanket over him as he slept. ‘What is it?’ he asks, when Diggle continues to stare at him silently.
‘I’m so sorry to have woken you up, Dr Potter, but Dr Black insisted… he said you’d appreciate the update on, uh…’ the intern starts thumbing through the chart quickly, before finally landing on the name. She-Malfoy may be right when she says these people are completely useless. ‘…on Zoya Gupta’s surgery.’
‘And? What’s the update? Come on, Diggle, use your words,’ James prompts him, eager to know now that he’s fully awake.
‘Right! Sorry, I- of course,’ Diggle almost drops the chart. ‘Dr Black and Dr Malfoy performed the EP study and the patient was diagnosed with ARVC. They already had the family’s consent so they proceeded with a pacemaker implantation right away. The surgery was successful and ended about ten minutes ago. Dr Black told me ask you to wait for him in the lobby in ten minutes. A-and he said to bring your spare helmet.’
James feels himself smiling. He gets up and starts gathering his things when he notices Diggle hasn’t moved and is shifting his weight from one foot to the other, seemingly waiting for something.
‘Yes, Dr Diggle?’ he asks, a long-suffering tinge to his voice.
‘Could you, maybe – only if you get the chance, of course! But could you maybe tell Dr Black I did exactly as he asked? I-I was wanting to ask him if I could scrub in on his heart transplant on Wednesday but he’s, uh. He’s a very intimidating man, so I would really appreciate it if you could, you know – let him know I did what he asked?’
And sure, Diggle is a pretty useless resident, but James sometimes forgets how other people see Sirius: ambitious, reckless, unapproachable. Cardio-god in the making. Impatient and, at times, unforgiving.
He knows, objectively, that these things are true. Knows that nobody else clicked with Sirius the way he did, irrevocably and immediately. It took Remus their entire first year as interns. Marlene, Dorcas and Lily warmed up to him gradually, over many a night at Romilda’s. Benjy acts brash with him to hide how insecure Sirius’ talent and assuredness make him feel. Frank and Amelia are polite, but distant. Gilderoy acts like a toady because of the Black family name. And Peter is still so obviously terrified of Sirius that it would be funny if it wasn’t a little sad – not that Sirius does anything to make Peter feel more comfortable, his indifference toward him shining through their every interaction.
So James decides not to tell Diggle to piss off and says ‘sure’ instead, although he does find the relief on the intern’s face to be a little too dramatic.
Once he’s alone, James changes quickly into his regular clothes, pulling on his jacket and grabbing the extra helmet he keeps in his locker. He bumps into Severus on his way out, the two exchanging a cold greeting in the doorway, and then he runs to the lobby.
Sirius is already there, looking a bit tired but no less handsome. The moment he spots James he gives him a blinding grin.
‘I know you’re knackered, but how would you feel about a celebratory drink before heading home?’ he asks. James wouldn’t say no to those sparkling eyes even if he’d been awake for a full week.
He may be a little bit in love with Sirius, he knows that. But then again, was there anyone at St Mungo’s who wasn’t?
He smiles back.
‘Let’s go celebrate.’
***
