Work Text:
A soft blue-green glow from the gurgling fish tank washed over the apartment that moment Mulder turned off the overhead light. The sounds of the busy front street had long since subsided as most people had turned in for the night. Exhausted, Mulder strode into the kitchen and pulled out a beer from the fridge. It was only a Thursday but he felt like he deserved it. The latest case had been difficult and not for the usual reasons.
No Cigarette Smoking Man to interfere and threaten his and his partner’s lives, no UFOs looming overhead, not even the Bureau breathing down their necks. No, not this time. This time, it was Scully.
Mulder leaned against the counter and took a long swig of his beer. Scully hadn’t been her usual self. Usually quick to poke holes in his theories, Scully had nodded along as he debriefed her and quickly went on her way to pack her overnight bag. Her compliance should have been welcomed, but it was almost off-putting; the lack of questioning, the emotional and physical distance, and even the way her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth seemed almost excessive the last few days.
It was odd and Mulder didn’t like it but instead of asking her outright what was wrong, Mulder bid her a good night after dropping her off. He watched her ascend the front steps of her building, unable to help to smile to himself as she fumbled with her keys, then drove off once he confirmed that she was safely inside.
Sighing, Mulder decided he’d deal with it later. He was tired, he’d opened a beer, and some movie he’d seen a thousand times was playing on the tv. He was kidding himself, that he knew, but he knew Scully well enough to know that she’d talk to him when–and if—she was ready.
Defeated, Mulder collapsed onto the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. He was almost asleep when a soft knock whispered through his apartment.
It was so quiet that he thought he’d imagined it at first until another three knocks sounded, more urgent this time. His heart rate quickened. It was late, and someone coming to his door at this hour rarely meant anything good.
Mulder wanted to ignore it; maybe if he sat quietly enough, the person on the other side of his door would give up and leave, but he knew he couldn’t let it go. Reluctantly, he rose and padded softly to the door.
He grabbed his gun first–a long, established habit that he had no intention of letting go of any time soon–then silently pressed up against the door and peered through the peephole.
Scully .
Letting out a sigh of relief, Mulder put his gun down and opened the door for her just as she was starting to turn away.
“Hey! What’s wrong? What’s going on? Are you alright?”
She didn’t say anything and Mulder didn’t press. Instead, he ushered her inside and guided her to the couch.
Mulder glanced at the clock. It was late, especially for and well past Scully’s bedtime. He said as much but his partner didn’t respond. Instead, she kept her eyes low and avoided his gaze.
“C’mon, Scully. You’re scaring me,” he said, sitting next to her.
“Hey. Look at me. I’m always here for you. You know that.”
Scully took a laboured breath, then finally met Mulder’s gaze.
“Mulder, I…”
He didn’t urge her to continue. Whatever she needed to say needed to be said on her terms. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Scully didn’t put up a fight and allowed him to hold her in his arms, but she was rigid until he chastely kissed the crown of her head.
“This is stupid,” she finally whispered, shaking her head. She started to get up, but Mulder tightened his grip and eased her back down.
“Whatever it is, it’s not stupid. You came here for a reason. You can tell me what you need to say or we can sit in silence. Either way, you’re not going anywhere until I’m sure you’re okay.
Scully's lower lip disappeared between her teeth. The action usually drove Mulder wild but this time it was a cause for concern.
“You’re in love with me.”
A statement, not a question. The words were simple but Mulder felt all the air leave his lungs.
“Of course I love you, Scully.”
“That’s not what I said, Mulder.”
Is that why she was so upset? Had Scully finally put the pieces together and solved some ongoing mystery? She’d been hesitant to say it but bold enough to show up unannounced on his doorstep with her revelation. It felt like an accusation. Like it was something he was supposed to be ashamed of, and Mulder felt his face getting hot with anger.
How dare she. Was it really so wrong that he was in love with her? Until now, she hadn’t even seemed to be aware of it so clearly, he had been doing a good enough job hiding his feelings around her at work, but he would be lying if he hadn’t caught himself picturing what she looked like underneath her baggy suits as she dug through a filing cabinet or when she rested her hands on the desk and leaned over it as she questioned his latest claims. Maybe he hadn’t done as good of a job as he thought; maybe he did gaze at Scully .
Ready to argue, Mulder looked back at Scully but immediately felt his anger dissipate as if he’d never felt it at all. Scully seemed worried. Her blue eyes were wet, her brow furrowed, and her quivering lower lip had disappeared between her teeth.
“Fine. I am. I’m in love with you,” he admitted, his tone softening.
Scully squeezed her eyes shut and a lone tear rolled down her flushed cheeks. Mulder sighed, feeling guilty. Channelling his previous anger into boldness, he took a deep breath and then continued.
“But…is that so wrong, Scully?”
To his surprise, Scully shook her head.
“Then why do you look petrified? Like this is the worst thing that could have ever happened to you?”
“Because Mulder. I’m in love with you too” she whispered.
Mulder stared at her, wide-eyed. Scully? The Dana Scully? In love with him?
“I love you and I don’t want that used against us. The Bureau is always breathing down our necks and this could be the final nail in the coffin.”
Mulder laced his fingers with hers and squeezed gently, running his thumb over the ridges of her knuckles. His other hand wiped the tears from Scully’s cheeks and Mulder’s breath hitched as Scully leaned into his touch.
“I don’t think that’s why you’re scared, Scully. I’ve seen you take on the entire organization with your wits alone. You don’t put up with any of the bureaucracy. Please tell me the reason.”
Scully bit her lip then took another deep breath before speaking again.
“I’m scared because I don’t want anything to come between us. I’m scared because we shouldn’t work. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose you. I’m just…”
Mulder cut her off.
“Doesn’t that fear make you want it more? To see what this could be? We’ve been dancing around it for years - I know I have. And I think you have been, too. Both of us were too scared to take the final leap. But I want to see where this goes, Scully, because I love you. I’ve loved you since you first walked into my office.”
Mulder paused to brush a stray strand of red hair from Scully’s face.
“Things are always less scary when we face them together, right?”
Scully nodded.
“Then let’s jump together, Scully.”
Wordlessly, Scully nodded and shifted in Mulder's arms.
“Kiss me,” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Mulder smiled brightly at her, taking her in. Her flushed skin stood out in the semi-darkness and her eyes were soft and blue and wet. She was beautiful and he would spend every waking moment reminding her. He’d dedicate himself to her, put her above everything and anyone. He’d go to Antarctica. Again. Anything for her.
“Please, Mulder. Don’t make me ask again.”
Mulder grinned as he closed the space between them.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”